Original subtitles

Though the very merry canary found his feathers and was never cold again.

What's the time of time?

Honey, we've read this story 11 times tonight.

That goes for even a dozen.

No, it's bedtime now. Say goodnight to Uncle Carl.

Goodnight. Sleep tight. Don't let the bedbugs bite.

Goodnight, Uncle Carl.

Bed five and back six.

Bread five on the black six.

Hi,

big guy. What you doing?

Playing solitaire. I've been by myself.

Solo, so long.

Oh, complendo, amigo.

You're on your own. You won't even notice me. You can call me the Invisible

In fact, you can't call me all because I'm not here.

Ooh, red tail on the blackjack.

I wish I had a blackjack.

Hey, how about an action -packed game of... I'll spot you 100 points. Nope.

Canasta. Nope. Pinochle. No. Heart. No. Old maid, crazy ape, go fish. Go home.

Gin rummy.

Okay. One hand.

But when I win, you go home.

Deal. Get it? Deal.

It's a rare condition this day and age to read any good news on the newspaper

page. And love and tradition of the grand design, some people say, has been

harder to find.

Well, then there must be some magic clue inside these gentle walls.

Because all I see is a tower of dreams.

wasn't funny how would you like it if i put jerry curl in your deodorant

well look on the bright side eddie now you're odor free and your armpits have

felt stay on your toes laura because i'm gunning for you i'm gonna

buy some booze so i can shake in them

She's just playing hard to get.

She don't play good at it.

She makes it seem so real.

Steve.

Laura's my sister. And I only want what's best for her.

And I'm gonna do everything in my power to get you two crazy kids together.

Picture this.

I'm picturing.

Night. Night.

Laura.

sleep in bed laura's awakened

by the sweet sound of an urkel serenade oh she'll be putting in my

hands you'll never forget it extra buddy how can i ever thank you believe me

steve the expression on laura's face is all the thanks i need

All right.

And he woke me up, too.

That boy is Looney Tunes.

Well, if he does it again, I'm going to grab his bellows and make a wish.

So, Laura, did you enjoy your serenade?

Is it just me, or does anybody else have this indescribable feeling of

happiness? Indescribable feeling of happiness? Could it be the sheer

knowing that Steve Urkel is hundreds of miles away?

Huh?

783 .6 miles to be exact.

Oh, where is he? He was going to take me on a slow cut.

Oh.

Oh, honey, see, Steve played his accordion real late at night, and...

Well, some of the neighbors got cranky and threw bricks at his house.

So his parents decided that maybe he should go away and visit his relatives

a while.

He dumped them?

Got it.

But isn't it nice knowing that for the next two weeks, when that door opens,

Steve Urkel will not be on the other side.

about the wonderful wind blows, how you've made this a home away from home.

And now for little old me coming all the way from big old Biloxi, this will be

my home away from home, away from home.

Cat,

don't you talk.

I know it's got mine.

Nice to meet you, Myrtle.

There seems to be a slight family resemblance between you and C.

never noticed.

You gonna finish that pork chop big fella?

So, Myrtle, how long are you gonna be around?

Oh, just two weeks.

My parents would only take Steve if Steve's parents promised to take me.

Sort of an Urkel exchange program?

Exactly, honey.

Sorry I'm late.

Myrtle Urkel, Myrtle, this is our son, Edward.

Well, hello there.

Oh, Eddie, that name rolls off my tongue like honey.

Huh?

Oh, you are as articulate as you are handsome.

and my lips are on fire. How do you feel about me, sugar?

years I would have married you.

Well, hello, ladies.

Having fun?

We're happier than peas in slope.

Please join us, Carl. Please.

Oh, no, no, no.

I, uh, I wouldn't want to interrupt all of this female bonding.

That's okay.

in a movie.

You two stay here with Myrtle.

Have fun.

He's the most charming man.

Maybe you should take him back to Biloxi with you.

Why, he's just gonna fall at my feet.

And if that doesn't work, I've got a few more sticks up my purple sleeve.

Uh, Murdoch, you're a sweet girl, but have you ever thought that,

well, maybe Eddie, uh, well, maybe you're not his type.

I'm going to take that boy like Grant took Richmond.

Oh, Edward Dumplin', I'm in curlers. You should have knocked.

I live here.

Harriet, I think Myrtle would like to be alone with her... Dumplin'. Mom, I have

homework. Oh, I'll do it for you.

Mm -hmm.

like you.

And I think that deep down, Eddie really likes you, too.

I knew it. I absolutely knew it.

But he's real shy. You gotta be more aggressive.

Well, what more can I do?

I've absolutely emptied my ammo clip of seduction.

Well, Eddie once told me about this dream he had.

Oh, spill it to me, sister.

beautiful woman steals into his room in the middle of the night and awakens him

with a kiss i'll do it tonight i shall steal into my beloved's room

i can't wait to see the expression on that boy's face

Unfortunately, not much.

Keep her away from me. She's crazy.

Crazy about you, you big hunk of harmony.

But to continue chasing after you would be human.

did you two.

Laura, did you encourage Myrtle to come up here?

Well, yes, but only to get even. Eddie told Steve to serenade me. I don't care

what Edward did.

Your behavior is inexcusable. Yeah.

You started all of this?

Yeah.

Now, look, you two.

It's bad enough that you're playing these mean tricks on each other, but now

you're bringing Steve and Myrtle into this. That's right.

You used them and you hurt their feelings. Now, tomorrow when Steve gets

here, I want you to apologize to him.

And Myrtle.

Understood?

Yes, ma 'am.

I'm ashamed of you two.

Eric.

Yeah? But at least we're not grounded.

By the way, you two are grounded.

I'm really sorry, Myrtle. I never meant to hurt your feelings.

Oh, please.

And thief, I'm sorry too.

Cousin Steve and I need to chew on that one for a spell.

Chew away.

We'll be in the living room.

Well, what do you think?

Well, what do you think?

It's obvious that Eddie and Laura used us.

And abused us.

You know what that means, don't you?

I most certainly do.

But...

in the kitchen.

Yeah, but at least mine's going home soon.

Maura, Eddie, we talked it over and we decided that we

forgive you.

And there's more good news. Tell them, Myrtle.

Well, I'm trying to talk Big Daddy into...

So we can move up here.