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1
00:00:05,879 --> 00:00:07,120
Any of you seen Steve?
2
00:00:07,820 --> 00:00:10,360
Nope. He's been driving me nuts.
3
00:00:10,880 --> 00:00:13,440
Every afternoon he asks me if he can
walk me to work.
4
00:00:14,140 --> 00:00:16,020
What you need is urkel repellent.
5
00:00:18,760 --> 00:00:20,640
Yeah, well, I'm going to fool him today.
6
00:00:21,060 --> 00:00:22,500
I'm leaving an hour early.
7
00:01:07,310 --> 00:01:12,510
Good news on the newspaper page. The
love and tradition of the grand design.
8
00:01:12,810 --> 00:01:16,170
Some people say it's been harder to
find.
9
00:01:17,390 --> 00:01:23,230
Well, then there must be some magic clue
inside these gentle walls.
10
00:01:24,170 --> 00:01:28,110
Because all I see is a tower of dreams.
11
00:03:00,810 --> 00:03:01,789
time of year.
12
00:03:01,790 --> 00:03:02,790
Mine, too.
13
00:03:03,330 --> 00:03:05,310
Oh, please, not in front of the
children.
14
00:03:08,510 --> 00:03:09,510
Dad,
15
00:03:09,950 --> 00:03:11,490
do we have cell tickets this year?
16
00:03:11,850 --> 00:03:13,630
No, sweetheart, you don't have to.
17
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Yes.
18
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You get to.
19
00:03:19,510 --> 00:03:22,830
Oh, come on, kids, perk up.
20
00:03:23,170 --> 00:03:25,910
I mean, after all, the dance contest is
for a good cause.
21
00:03:26,270 --> 00:03:28,890
We raise a lot of money for the
Policeman's Memorial Foundation.
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00:03:29,670 --> 00:03:30,670
Dad,
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Can I be honest about going to the dance
contest?
24
00:03:33,540 --> 00:03:35,960
Sure. I'd rather do a swan dive on a
cactus.
25
00:03:38,080 --> 00:03:42,500
Why? Well, it's real depressing watching
people your age do the lombada.
26
00:04:19,120 --> 00:04:20,300
jacket down a peg or two.
27
00:04:22,960 --> 00:04:26,100
Well, why don't you come on upstairs
with me? I got a sweater that's been
28
00:04:26,100 --> 00:04:27,100
me trouble.
29
00:04:28,060 --> 00:04:29,700
Harry, make note.
30
00:04:30,120 --> 00:04:33,420
Charlie Carnelli is not welcome in this
house.
31
00:04:33,800 --> 00:04:38,920
Fuck. Who's Charlie Carnelli? The
biggest jerk down at the precinct. A
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with a badge.
33
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I thought that was your captain.
34
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Sit down.
35
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Relax.
36
00:04:47,520 --> 00:04:48,520
Tell me what happened.
37
00:04:48,940 --> 00:04:51,800
Two weeks ago, this turkey transfers in
from the south side.
38
00:04:52,020 --> 00:04:53,960
I could tell he was a goober from the
get -go.
39
00:04:56,560 --> 00:04:58,140
And how does this goober get you?
40
00:04:59,700 --> 00:05:01,100
Everything's a competition with Charlie.
41
00:05:01,500 --> 00:05:03,500
Who's got the best score down to
shooting range?
42
00:05:03,760 --> 00:05:06,360
Who gets the most collars? Who can burp
the longest?
43
00:05:08,360 --> 00:05:09,740
I bet you won that one.
44
00:05:11,180 --> 00:05:12,860
Well, of course, but that's not the
point.
45
00:05:13,980 --> 00:05:17,760
Today, Charlie starts shooting off his
mouth about how he's going to win the
46
00:05:17,760 --> 00:05:18,760
dance contest.
47
00:05:19,120 --> 00:05:21,840
He starts telling everybody that he's
the world's greatest dancer.
48
00:05:22,400 --> 00:05:25,320
Now, that kind of bragging is childish,
stupid, and petty.
49
00:05:25,700 --> 00:05:30,080
Carl, you are absolutely right. So I
told him we're going to wipe up the
50
00:05:30,080 --> 00:05:31,080
with him.
51
00:05:32,120 --> 00:05:33,120
Oh!
52
00:05:33,940 --> 00:05:34,940
Rachel!
53
00:05:37,520 --> 00:05:38,600
Is Rachel here?
54
00:05:41,600 --> 00:05:44,540
No, she's at work. But I'm sure she
heard you.
55
00:05:46,320 --> 00:05:48,440
Well, I'm going to ask her to come up
with a killer routine.
56
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Just for us.
57
00:05:49,970 --> 00:05:53,630
Carl, I thought you said we were
entering this contest for the fun of it.
58
00:05:53,650 --> 00:05:56,010
well, fun just went out the window. This
is war.
59
00:05:56,490 --> 00:05:57,730
A fight to the finish.
60
00:05:57,990 --> 00:06:01,210
The Cornellis and the Winslows are gonna
rumba.
61
00:06:54,220 --> 00:06:54,939
You can't lose.
62
00:06:54,940 --> 00:06:59,280
Thanks, but let's hear it for my
partner, Carl the Dentist. What
63
00:06:59,280 --> 00:07:06,940
happened?
64
00:07:07,180 --> 00:07:07,919
My back.
65
00:07:07,920 --> 00:07:10,500
It just went out. And pain came in.
66
00:07:14,840 --> 00:07:15,980
Daddy, are you okay?
67
00:07:16,240 --> 00:07:17,540
Oh, Daddy's fine, sweetheart.
68
00:07:17,760 --> 00:07:18,760
He's just fine.
69
00:07:31,500 --> 00:07:33,220
I can get for you. My gun!
70
00:07:35,880 --> 00:07:37,080
That's it. I'm calling Dr.
71
00:07:37,300 --> 00:07:38,279
Van Lowe.
72
00:07:38,280 --> 00:07:39,280
Oh!
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00:07:39,440 --> 00:07:42,940
Say, can you straighten up at all? No,
no, but that's okay.
74
00:07:43,220 --> 00:07:46,720
I mean, there are plenty of advantages
to being bent over like this,
75
00:07:47,840 --> 00:07:48,940
Harriet? Yes?
76
00:07:49,160 --> 00:07:50,160
I need new shoes.
77
00:08:03,210 --> 00:08:04,710
Okay, take the load off. All right,
easy.
78
00:08:04,930 --> 00:08:07,490
Easy now. Oh, okay. Oh, oh.
79
00:08:07,790 --> 00:08:10,730
Okay. All right. Just give me. Okay,
give me. Oh, oh.
80
00:08:11,150 --> 00:08:12,710
Oh, thank you, son.
81
00:08:13,050 --> 00:08:14,050
I love you.
82
00:08:16,350 --> 00:08:19,310
Carl, if you try to dance with a wrench
back, you're going to injure yourself
83
00:08:19,310 --> 00:08:22,570
permanently. Harriet, I can't drop out
of the dance contest now.
84
00:08:22,790 --> 00:08:24,550
I will not give Carl Nelly the
satisfaction.
85
00:08:25,790 --> 00:08:26,970
Real smart, Carl.
86
00:08:27,390 --> 00:08:30,290
And then after the contest, you can just
spend the rest of your life looking
87
00:08:30,290 --> 00:08:31,290
like a pretzel.
88
00:08:34,090 --> 00:08:36,870
since he can see you in an hour. And he
said, don't worry, he's got a treatment.
89
00:08:37,630 --> 00:08:40,870
You see, Harriet, he'll get me back in
shape and I'll be just fine.
90
00:08:41,490 --> 00:08:42,870
Okay, kids, come on.
91
00:08:43,110 --> 00:08:44,110
I need help.
92
00:08:45,130 --> 00:08:47,210
And we gotta hurry.
93
00:08:47,870 --> 00:08:48,870
What's the rush?
94
00:08:49,210 --> 00:08:50,910
We'd have to be to the doctor's for an
hour.
95
00:08:51,390 --> 00:08:53,010
That's how long it'll take me to get to
the car.
96
00:09:13,960 --> 00:09:14,960
We need some money.
97
00:09:20,480 --> 00:09:22,760
How much money do you need?
98
00:09:23,460 --> 00:09:24,700
Twenty bucks to cover it.
99
00:09:25,300 --> 00:09:27,420
My wallet is in my right front pocket.
100
00:09:31,540 --> 00:09:35,500
Say, Dad, I can clean you out and
there's really nothing you can do about
101
00:09:38,320 --> 00:09:42,020
Yeah, but eventually I'd get out of this
thing and I'd have to hunt you down.
102
00:09:48,430 --> 00:09:50,870
Want us to hang you out on the porch so
you can get some sun?
103
00:10:37,150 --> 00:10:40,110
He says, I have to hang on this thing
for 10 days, four hours.
104
00:11:28,650 --> 00:11:29,650
Watch this jerk credit.
105
00:11:47,010 --> 00:11:48,590
Steve, you like this kind of music?
106
00:11:49,130 --> 00:11:50,170
Uh, not really.
107
00:11:51,390 --> 00:11:52,790
Maybe there's hope for you yet.
108
00:13:16,560 --> 00:13:19,100
You two don't worry about a thing. You
got this puppy locked up.
109
00:13:19,360 --> 00:13:20,800
Say, you're very pretty.
110
00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:22,000
Well, thank you.
111
00:13:22,020 --> 00:13:23,260
Now get off my stage.
112
00:13:29,180 --> 00:13:30,180
You ready?
113
00:13:30,740 --> 00:13:31,860
Let's go for it, handsome.
114
00:15:38,179 --> 00:15:41,740
It's a real pleasure to see such talent
from the police commissioner's kids,
115
00:15:41,920 --> 00:15:42,920
huh?
116
00:15:43,140 --> 00:15:48,620
Uh -oh. Okay.
117
00:15:49,100 --> 00:15:51,240
The results.
118
00:15:53,040 --> 00:15:55,640
Oh boy, this is the moment we've all
been waiting for.
119
00:15:56,920 --> 00:16:01,540
The winning couple of the 8th Precinct's
Animal Dance Contest is...
120
00:16:01,540 --> 00:16:04,140
Charlie!
121
00:16:23,790 --> 00:16:28,050
There will be a dance -off to determine
the winner. And the judges have decided
122
00:16:28,050 --> 00:16:29,550
that the dance will be the... Uh -oh.
123
00:16:30,290 --> 00:16:35,590
Jitterbug. So let us just give it up for
our finalists. And you people, just
124
00:16:35,590 --> 00:16:37,270
please, take a bow.
125
00:16:37,530 --> 00:16:38,530
Come on.
126
00:17:00,460 --> 00:17:01,079
Go out again.
127
00:17:01,080 --> 00:17:02,820
Out? It's on vacation.
128
00:17:04,260 --> 00:17:05,960
I'll go tell the judges we can't dance.
129
00:17:06,180 --> 00:17:07,180
No, no.
130
00:17:07,440 --> 00:17:10,640
We've got to beat the Cornellis. We're
just a jitterbug away from victory.
131
00:17:11,079 --> 00:17:14,540
Carl, this competition thing is driving
you crazy. You're in pain.
132
00:17:14,880 --> 00:17:15,960
When are you going to give it up?
133
00:17:16,240 --> 00:17:19,940
Never. Carl Winslow dances to the death.
134
00:17:21,560 --> 00:17:22,560
Attaboy, Carl.
135
00:17:22,920 --> 00:17:24,180
Out, Steve. Out.
136
00:17:34,670 --> 00:17:37,810
Oh, no, Charlie, I was just admiring my
shoes.
137
00:17:38,130 --> 00:17:39,370
Yeah, look, real leather.
138
00:17:39,730 --> 00:17:43,450
Well, I'm glad to see you're okay. For a
second there, I thought maybe you were
139
00:17:43,450 --> 00:17:45,030
going to try to chicken out.
140
00:17:46,970 --> 00:17:48,310
Charlie? Charlie,
141
00:17:49,590 --> 00:17:50,569
are you okay?
142
00:17:50,570 --> 00:17:53,670
Oh, it's my ankle. It's fine.
143
00:17:53,990 --> 00:17:56,010
It's fine. It's a strong ankle. Real
fine.
144
00:17:56,530 --> 00:17:57,530
Okay.
145
00:17:59,510 --> 00:18:01,590
Folks, it is time for the dramatic.
146
00:18:02,270 --> 00:18:04,790
Dance off. Now, dancers, to the floor,
please.
147
00:18:05,990 --> 00:18:07,050
Here they come, ladies.
148
00:18:07,290 --> 00:18:08,290
Here they come.
149
00:18:09,010 --> 00:18:10,330
The dance of champions.
150
00:18:10,750 --> 00:18:11,750
The champions.
151
00:18:16,470 --> 00:18:17,850
Are we ready?
152
00:18:18,770 --> 00:18:20,590
Okay, boys, hit it!
153
00:18:42,159 --> 00:18:45,340
What are you doing? Charlie, you're
hurt. We gotta stop.
154
00:18:45,660 --> 00:18:46,479
Uh, excuse me?
155
00:18:46,480 --> 00:18:50,200
What's going on here? Well, we can't
dance anymore. My husband sprained his
156
00:18:50,200 --> 00:18:52,120
ankle. Oh, I'm sorry.
157
00:18:52,680 --> 00:18:53,680
You lose.
158
00:18:53,740 --> 00:18:54,740
What?
159
00:18:54,780 --> 00:18:57,220
Folks, the winners of this year's dance
contest.
160
00:18:57,440 --> 00:18:58,940
Can I say something, please?
161
00:19:02,280 --> 00:19:07,060
You know, this competition thing has
gotten way out of hand.
162
00:19:07,340 --> 00:19:09,680
You know, I'm hurt. Charlie's hurt.
163
00:19:10,240 --> 00:19:13,060
We both want to win so bad that we're
not having any fun.
164
00:19:14,100 --> 00:19:15,100
Right, Charlie?
165
00:19:15,660 --> 00:19:16,660
Right, Carl.
166
00:19:17,520 --> 00:19:23,120
So I think it's only fair that we
declare this a tie. I think we both
167
00:19:23,120 --> 00:19:24,120
win.
168
00:19:25,440 --> 00:19:26,440
Yeah, I'll take it.
169
00:19:28,040 --> 00:19:32,760
Hey, now there is a noble gesture.
170
00:19:33,180 --> 00:19:35,700
Isn't that great, folks? Isn't that
great? Isn't that great?
171
00:19:41,280 --> 00:19:44,840
Fortunately, it's against the rules, so,
hey, you both lose by default.
172
00:19:45,080 --> 00:19:48,520
Okay, let's hear it for the winners. The
commissioners can.
173
00:19:53,520 --> 00:19:56,260
You were wonderful, absolutely
wonderful.
174
00:19:56,560 --> 00:20:03,480
What's your hourly rate? And now let's
turn the evening over to our
175
00:20:03,480 --> 00:20:08,300
young people and their music. They are
this country's future, so let's just
176
00:20:08,300 --> 00:20:09,300
and bear it.
177
00:20:31,980 --> 00:20:34,860
I'm proud of you.
178
00:20:35,380 --> 00:20:36,780
Really? Yeah.
179
00:20:37,280 --> 00:20:38,600
You had Charlie beat.
180
00:20:38,880 --> 00:20:40,440
They would have given us the trophy.
181
00:20:40,990 --> 00:20:45,250
But instead, you showed what a good
sport you could be. Well, thanks, babe.
182
00:20:46,750 --> 00:20:48,770
Come on, Mr. Bojangles. Let's go home.
183
00:20:49,510 --> 00:20:54,770
I'm going to fix you a big banana split
and then hang you up on the door.
184
00:20:57,510 --> 00:20:59,170
You really know how to treat a guy.
13829
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