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1
00:00:06,719 --> 00:00:08,280
Thanks for letting me practice on you,
Steve.
2
00:00:08,840 --> 00:00:10,740
I really want to ace this first day of
class.
3
00:00:11,260 --> 00:00:12,640
No problemo, Edo.
4
00:00:13,300 --> 00:00:15,900
I have a lot of personal experience in
first day.
5
00:00:16,239 --> 00:00:19,700
I got a nosebleed at birth. My doctor
slapped the wrong end.
6
00:00:22,800 --> 00:00:23,800
I'll be right back.
7
00:00:24,400 --> 00:00:25,680
I'm going to go get the plaster.
8
00:00:26,080 --> 00:00:28,140
No rush. I'm a patient, patient.
9
00:01:02,890 --> 00:01:08,390
condition this day and age to read any
good news on the newspaper page.
10
00:01:08,610 --> 00:01:11,490
The love and tradition of the grand
design.
11
00:01:11,790 --> 00:01:15,170
Some people say it's been harder to
find.
12
00:01:16,330 --> 00:01:22,210
Well, there must be some magic clue
inside these gentle walls.
13
00:01:23,670 --> 00:01:27,090
All I see is a tower of dreams.
14
00:02:34,470 --> 00:02:37,630
Well, I want to look perfect. You know,
Carl and I haven't had a romantic dinner
15
00:02:37,630 --> 00:02:38,710
date since the car administration.
16
00:02:40,650 --> 00:02:42,170
Harriet. Harriet.
17
00:02:43,350 --> 00:02:45,870
Feast your ever -loving eyes on these.
18
00:02:46,530 --> 00:02:47,890
Tickets to Les Mis. Better.
19
00:02:48,150 --> 00:02:48,869
Jenny Jackson.
20
00:02:48,870 --> 00:02:49,709
Even better.
21
00:02:49,710 --> 00:02:50,710
MC Hammer.
22
00:02:54,990 --> 00:02:58,130
No. The Blackhawks and the Penguins.
23
00:02:59,630 --> 00:03:00,630
Hockey chair.
24
00:03:00,970 --> 00:03:03,130
I couldn't pass this up. And look where
we're sitting.
25
00:03:05,620 --> 00:03:07,680
Great. We can dodge pups all night.
26
00:03:09,100 --> 00:03:10,100
Yeah.
27
00:03:13,380 --> 00:03:14,520
You're not going to wear that, are you?
28
00:03:14,900 --> 00:03:17,760
Of course not. I'll just slip into
something more comfortable.
29
00:03:18,200 --> 00:03:19,900
Like a helmet and some shin guards.
30
00:03:21,080 --> 00:03:22,080
Gee, thanks, babe.
31
00:03:22,340 --> 00:03:24,740
You won't regret it. You're going to
have a great time, I promise you.
32
00:03:24,820 --> 00:03:26,160
Especially when they start beating each
other up.
33
00:03:26,540 --> 00:03:27,540
Hustle up, babe, okay?
34
00:03:30,340 --> 00:03:32,600
I'm married to the most wonderful woman
in the world.
35
00:04:11,190 --> 00:04:12,190
cities, neighborhoods.
36
00:04:12,670 --> 00:04:18,190
Now, all of these are built upon smaller
social units like the family.
37
00:04:18,589 --> 00:04:19,750
Oh, oh, oh, oh!
38
00:04:20,190 --> 00:04:21,190
Oh, oh,
39
00:04:21,709 --> 00:04:23,070
oh, oh! Oh, oh, oh, oh!
40
00:04:23,530 --> 00:04:25,010
Oh, oh, oh, oh! Oh, oh, oh, oh! Oh, oh,
oh, oh! Oh, oh, oh, oh! Oh, oh, oh, oh!
41
00:04:25,010 --> 00:04:25,950
Oh, oh, oh, oh! Oh, oh, oh, oh! Oh, oh,
oh, oh! Oh, oh, oh, oh! Oh, oh, oh, oh!
42
00:04:25,950 --> 00:04:26,169
Oh, oh, oh, oh!
43
00:04:26,170 --> 00:04:27,089
Oh, oh, oh, oh!
44
00:04:27,090 --> 00:04:27,549
Oh, oh, oh, oh! Oh, oh, oh, oh! Oh, oh,
oh, oh!
45
00:04:27,550 --> 00:04:29,910
Oh, oh, oh, oh! Oh, oh, oh, oh! Oh, oh,
oh, oh!
46
00:04:30,530 --> 00:04:34,130
Oh, oh, oh, oh! Oh, oh, oh, oh! Oh, oh,
oh, oh!
47
00:04:34,550 --> 00:04:35,990
Oh, oh, oh, oh! Oh,
48
00:04:37,910 --> 00:04:38,759
oh, oh
49
00:04:38,760 --> 00:04:40,200
is the center for all social
interaction.
50
00:04:44,220 --> 00:04:50,960
And the foundation for most families is
51
00:04:50,960 --> 00:04:57,880
marriage. So, oh, for the next two
weeks, the class
52
00:04:57,880 --> 00:05:00,540
will be paired off into married couples.
53
00:05:02,400 --> 00:05:05,720
Now, you all have to figure out how to
live on a budget.
54
00:05:06,190 --> 00:05:10,250
You will make decisions about jobs,
homes, children.
55
00:05:10,810 --> 00:05:13,490
And each of you will grade your partner.
56
00:05:14,130 --> 00:05:15,130
Yeah.
57
00:05:16,830 --> 00:05:18,210
Do we get to pick who we want to marry?
58
00:05:18,410 --> 00:05:21,770
Well, you should write down your top
three choices, and I will do my best to
59
00:05:21,770 --> 00:05:22,770
pair everyone up.
60
00:05:23,030 --> 00:05:26,650
The names of the happy couples will be
posted on the bulletin board tomorrow.
61
00:05:39,560 --> 00:05:42,540
You cannot put the same name three
times.
62
00:05:53,300 --> 00:05:54,300
Hi, everybody.
63
00:05:54,360 --> 00:05:56,320
Hi, honey. How you doing? Hi, honey.
64
00:05:57,000 --> 00:05:58,000
How's your head?
65
00:06:01,060 --> 00:06:03,620
How do you think it is I got hit by a
hockey puck?
66
00:06:05,160 --> 00:06:08,080
Sweetheart, that was a great stop. You
deserve that standing ovation.
67
00:06:10,320 --> 00:06:13,220
Oh, Carl, I called Shea Josephine's and
we'll confirm for 8 o 'clock tonight.
68
00:06:14,020 --> 00:06:15,020
Oh.
69
00:06:15,320 --> 00:06:17,940
Oh, babe, I'm sorry. I meant to call
you.
70
00:06:18,440 --> 00:06:19,960
There's been a little change in plans.
71
00:06:20,520 --> 00:06:21,520
Now what?
72
00:06:21,880 --> 00:06:24,240
Well, you remember Joe Hichborn, traffic
control?
73
00:06:24,560 --> 00:06:25,940
Shy guy couldn't get a date?
74
00:06:26,480 --> 00:06:29,540
Yeah. Well, they switched him to hooker
patrol and he's getting married this
75
00:06:29,540 --> 00:06:30,540
weekend.
76
00:06:31,540 --> 00:06:32,820
Oh, my Lord.
77
00:06:33,100 --> 00:06:34,440
Just a picture to bribe me.
78
00:06:35,940 --> 00:06:39,040
Well, anyway, the guys decided to throw
him a little bachelor party tonight.
79
00:06:39,580 --> 00:06:40,580
Mind if I go?
80
00:06:41,400 --> 00:06:42,440
It's up to you, Carl.
81
00:06:42,700 --> 00:06:43,700
Gee, thanks, babe.
82
00:06:43,880 --> 00:06:45,000
You are the best.
83
00:06:45,340 --> 00:06:46,340
Don't wait up.
84
00:06:51,020 --> 00:06:54,780
How could you let Carl get away with
that?
85
00:06:55,180 --> 00:06:57,980
Well, what was I supposed to do? Beg him
to take me to dinner?
86
00:06:58,880 --> 00:07:01,140
Honey, Carl is my son.
87
00:07:01,500 --> 00:07:03,840
And in my eyes, he can do no wrong.
88
00:07:04,480 --> 00:07:05,620
But he's your husband.
89
00:07:06,120 --> 00:07:08,520
You should have knocked him into the
middle of next week.
90
00:07:11,500 --> 00:07:15,280
I'd like Carla to be more romantic, but
I can't force it out of him.
91
00:07:18,520 --> 00:07:22,540
You know, he used to send me flowers for
no reason at all.
92
00:07:23,320 --> 00:07:25,880
And he'd leave me funny little notes all
around the house.
93
00:07:26,920 --> 00:07:30,460
He'd even call me three or four times a
day just to say he loved me.
94
00:07:33,540 --> 00:07:35,040
He doesn't do those things anymore.
95
00:07:36,660 --> 00:07:38,520
Well, Harriet, doesn't that make you
angry?
96
00:07:40,200 --> 00:07:41,200
No.
97
00:07:42,120 --> 00:07:43,120
Makes me scared.
98
00:07:50,820 --> 00:07:57,640
I caught him! For the next two blissful
weeks, I am
99
00:07:57,640 --> 00:07:59,160
Mrs. Mark Healy. Yes!
100
00:08:00,100 --> 00:08:01,900
That's great. Who did I get, Derek or
Jeff?
101
00:08:02,180 --> 00:08:03,920
I was so excited, I forgot to look.
102
00:09:00,720 --> 00:09:01,720
Just walking.
103
00:09:02,100 --> 00:09:04,000
Well, sit down. You almost missed
dinner.
104
00:09:47,880 --> 00:09:48,900
father before we proceed.
105
00:09:50,620 --> 00:09:51,620
What is it, Steve?
106
00:09:51,920 --> 00:09:55,760
Well, Carl, call me old -fashioned, but
before I marry Laura, I'd like to have
107
00:09:55,760 --> 00:09:56,760
your blessing.
108
00:09:58,420 --> 00:10:03,920
Well, Steve, I appreciate that, but I
wouldn't stand in your way if you two
109
00:10:03,920 --> 00:10:04,920
really...
110
00:10:51,880 --> 00:10:53,820
Could have been eight, but I didn't like
the smell of that sushi.
111
00:10:55,640 --> 00:10:59,860
I finished all the housework. You know,
deep in the back of your fridge, I found
112
00:10:59,860 --> 00:11:03,080
a fascinating mold specimen thriving on
an ancient cheese wheel.
113
00:11:04,560 --> 00:11:05,560
Go home.
114
00:11:07,720 --> 00:11:08,740
Not yet.
115
00:11:11,940 --> 00:11:13,940
This is our last night of wedded bliss.
116
00:11:14,420 --> 00:11:16,380
Yeah, I've been blowing up balloons.
117
00:11:38,060 --> 00:11:40,120
You and I have pretended to be man and
wife.
118
00:11:40,580 --> 00:11:46,480
And now, on this, our last night, we can
make each other's dreams come true.
119
00:11:47,200 --> 00:11:48,200
With a kiss.
120
00:12:13,100 --> 00:12:14,580
supposed to grade each other on this
assignment.
121
00:12:14,820 --> 00:12:17,420
And right now, you're staring down the
barrel of an F.
122
00:12:18,840 --> 00:12:19,840
One kiss.
123
00:12:19,920 --> 00:12:21,020
A pick on the cheek.
124
00:12:21,360 --> 00:12:23,380
A momentary escalation.
125
00:12:24,900 --> 00:12:26,280
Forget it. I have a headache.
126
00:12:27,400 --> 00:12:29,740
I thought you might say that, so I came
prepared.
127
00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:32,000
Aspirin, baby?
128
00:12:51,820 --> 00:12:56,000
It won't happen again. I'm prepared to
wait forever if need be. In the
129
00:12:56,320 --> 00:13:00,020
I hope you'll accept this small gift as
a little memento of our two glorious
130
00:13:00,020 --> 00:13:01,020
weeks together.
131
00:13:04,320 --> 00:13:05,820
Steve, this is really beautiful.
132
00:13:06,960 --> 00:13:11,920
One -third carat diamond with one -tenth
the sparkle of your lovely eyes.
133
00:13:27,600 --> 00:13:28,600
expenses.
134
00:14:03,850 --> 00:14:10,250
loving you it's like wanting to touch a
star you know you'll never reach it but
135
00:14:10,250 --> 00:14:11,670
you've just got to keep trying
136
00:14:11,670 --> 00:14:19,790
why
137
00:14:19,790 --> 00:14:26,550
do you always say things like that these
last two weeks have been wonderful for
138
00:14:26,550 --> 00:14:29,170
me it's the closest i'll ever get to
marrying
139
00:14:33,230 --> 00:14:34,230
No strings attached.
140
00:14:34,410 --> 00:14:35,870
Just the one to my heart.
141
00:14:50,570 --> 00:14:51,570
Is he alone?
142
00:14:51,770 --> 00:14:53,690
No, just pruning your father.
143
00:14:55,490 --> 00:14:56,490
Fern.
144
00:14:57,450 --> 00:14:58,450
Something on your mind?
145
00:14:59,630 --> 00:15:00,630
Yeah, Steve.
146
00:15:01,010 --> 00:15:02,630
Ooh, he did a good job on my...
147
00:15:14,130 --> 00:15:15,130
What happened?
148
00:15:16,150 --> 00:15:17,450
He's smothering me.
149
00:15:17,770 --> 00:15:19,570
He sent me a room full of roses.
150
00:15:19,950 --> 00:15:23,250
He calls me every hour. He waits on me
hand and foot.
151
00:15:23,570 --> 00:15:25,750
A person can only take so much devotion.
152
00:15:26,790 --> 00:15:28,290
You don't know how lucky you are.
153
00:15:29,150 --> 00:15:33,010
Steve may not be the man of your dreams,
but it's a wonderful thing when
154
00:15:33,010 --> 00:15:34,030
somebody loves you that much.
155
00:15:49,870 --> 00:15:50,870
to admit one thing.
156
00:15:51,810 --> 00:15:53,810
Steve sure never takes you for granted.
157
00:15:54,870 --> 00:15:56,110
I wish he would.
158
00:15:56,630 --> 00:15:57,970
I'm all urkeled out.
159
00:15:59,690 --> 00:16:02,290
Well, Steve is a pest.
160
00:16:02,890 --> 00:16:04,250
No question about that.
161
00:16:04,770 --> 00:16:06,430
But he adores you, Laura.
162
00:16:06,730 --> 00:16:07,810
And he shows it.
163
00:16:08,470 --> 00:16:11,710
You know, being romantic is a good
quality for a husband to have.
164
00:16:23,850 --> 00:16:27,450
Healy is selfish, conceited, and
inconsiderate.
165
00:16:28,890 --> 00:16:32,210
He cheated on me with an older woman.
166
00:16:33,990 --> 00:16:36,610
I caught him at the movies with a ninth
grader.
167
00:16:37,390 --> 00:16:38,930
So I divorced him.
168
00:16:40,050 --> 00:16:41,950
Mark, I give you an F -.
169
00:16:42,250 --> 00:16:43,250
What?
170
00:16:46,590 --> 00:16:50,070
Well, we've learned that not everyone is
compatible.
171
00:16:51,020 --> 00:16:54,800
But I am glad to see that Maxine and
Mark have resolved their differences
172
00:16:54,800 --> 00:16:55,800
maturely.
173
00:16:59,180 --> 00:17:00,180
Jerk.
174
00:17:00,660 --> 00:17:01,660
Dweeb.
175
00:17:03,400 --> 00:17:06,520
All right, let's move on to our last
couple.
176
00:17:07,420 --> 00:17:11,300
Oh, Stephen, you may begin.
177
00:17:16,839 --> 00:17:20,280
Obviously, Lauren was the perfect wife.
Brilliant mother.
178
00:17:20,829 --> 00:17:21,829
helpmate and manager.
179
00:17:22,650 --> 00:17:25,510
I'll always be proud that she was the
first Mrs. Urkel.
180
00:17:27,730 --> 00:17:29,150
She's an A all the way.
181
00:17:30,610 --> 00:17:32,330
Thank you.
182
00:17:34,630 --> 00:17:36,970
Laura, your grade for Stephen.
183
00:17:43,690 --> 00:17:48,830
Well, Steve is incredibly annoying.
184
00:17:53,520 --> 00:17:55,080
You just want to slap him all the time.
185
00:17:58,380 --> 00:18:03,560
But he's also hardworking and caring.
186
00:18:04,960 --> 00:18:06,620
He really tried to make me happy.
187
00:18:07,480 --> 00:18:10,280
He was a good husband, and I gave him an
A+.
188
00:18:47,690 --> 00:18:48,690
heard you talking to Laura.
189
00:18:49,870 --> 00:18:55,290
And what you said to her, well, it made
me realize that I've been acting like a
190
00:18:55,290 --> 00:18:58,770
jerk. An idiot, a fool, an ignoramus.
191
00:18:59,110 --> 00:19:00,410
Stop me whenever you like, Harriet.
192
00:19:02,950 --> 00:19:04,130
Oh, no, you're doing fine.
193
00:19:06,670 --> 00:19:11,890
Harriet, you are the most important
person in the world to me.
194
00:19:12,830 --> 00:19:14,070
And you always will be.
195
00:19:15,030 --> 00:19:17,030
I thank God every day that we're
together.
196
00:19:18,730 --> 00:19:20,850
But now it's time I start thanking you.
197
00:19:24,870 --> 00:19:29,330
So, Harriet, I want you to put on that
beautiful new dress because we have an 8
198
00:19:29,330 --> 00:19:31,250
o 'clock reservation at Chez
Josephine's.
199
00:19:31,950 --> 00:19:36,990
And, sweetheart, when you walk in there,
I'd like you to wear this.
200
00:19:39,850 --> 00:19:40,910
Oh, Carl.
201
00:19:43,230 --> 00:19:44,830
It's just a little I love you present.
202
00:19:50,600 --> 00:19:51,600
It's beautiful.
203
00:19:53,280 --> 00:19:57,760
But, sweetheart, not as beautiful as
you.
204
00:20:02,240 --> 00:20:04,340
Ooh, sparkle city.
205
00:20:07,020 --> 00:20:09,500
I know I shouldn't ask, but how much?
206
00:20:10,200 --> 00:20:12,240
Well, I got a good deal.
207
00:20:12,540 --> 00:20:13,860
I bought it off of Urkel.
208
00:20:17,020 --> 00:20:20,280
He tried to bargain with me, but the
poor kid was overmatched.
209
00:20:20,600 --> 00:20:21,720
He caved in at a thousand.
210
00:20:24,240 --> 00:20:25,240
Ooh, cow.
211
00:20:26,040 --> 00:20:27,280
That's way too much.
212
00:20:27,760 --> 00:20:29,920
Yeah, but he threw in a little
something.
213
00:20:55,790 --> 00:20:56,790
everything.
16144
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