Original subtitles

Hey, Laura, can Mom ask? Tell her I'm meeting the guys to play basketball.

Tell her yourself.

I'm Metro Secretary.

Hi,

Eddie.

Hi, Steve.

You ready to dribble the old round ball?

Shoot some hoops? Bang the boards?

Urkel. Why do you put yourself through this?

Nobody ever picks you for their team.

Well, I was close last time. I would have gotten in if Sheila Schwartz hadn't

shown up.

Yeah. It was pretty amazing how well she played in those high heels.

Lance Knox.

Sheila.

stick to chess?

Yeah, it's more your game.

No, I've been practicing. Watch this.

Did I do that?

No. It's a prize that came with the cereal.

It's a rare condition this day and age to read any good news on the newspaper

page. And love and tradition of the grand design, some people say, is even

harder to find.

Well, then there must be some magic clue inside these gentle walls.

Because all I see is a tower of dreams, real love bursting out of everything.

Great thing happened at work today.

One of the guys in produce got fired.

Why is that great?

Oh, well, it's not great that he got fired, but it's great that there's an

opening in produce.

So, what's your point?

All the biggies started in produce.

Louie and Fish, Chuck and Meats, Stella and Cheese.

Go for it, Eddie.

Reach for the stars.

Of course I know who you are.

Carl has told me all about you.

You're kidding.

When?

Carl is going to be so excited.

I'm looking forward to meeting you, too.

Bye, Darnell.

That was one of Carl's closest friends from high school.

Was that Darnell Coleman or Darnell Watkins or Darnell Clark?

Darnell Clark.

Uh -huh. Were all dad's friends named Darnell?

Yes. Those were very confusing times.

Carl's been telling me for years what a hot singing group they were. Hey, Dad.

Hey, baby.

Something smells good.

Dad, I didn't know you were in a singing group.

Well, yeah, in high school.

Did you ever do a video?

Why are they asking about all of this?

Carl,

Darnell Clark called from Springfield today.

You're kidding.

Why? I haven't seen him in 20 years.

What's he up to?

Well, one thing he's up to is organizing your 20th high school reunion. It's

next month.

Oh? Uh, I can't make it.

We're talking about your 20th reunion.

All the Darnells are going to be there. Isn't that exciting?

Yeah, if you like that sort of thing.

I'm with Dad.

Once you're out of high school, why would you want to go back?

You know, I don't get to say this much, but Eddie's right.

I don't get this.

We're talking about the Darnells. They were your best friends.

I know, Harriet, but reunions are overrated.

I went to my 50th reunion and spent the whole night...

Dancing with Walter Simons.

Sounds like you two hit it off.

We had to. We were the only ones there.

Carl, don't you want to see the Darnells? You were so close.

Harriet, things change.

People change.

Well, that's part of the fun, to see how they've changed.

What's that supposed to mean?

It means people change.

Well, why don't you just come right out and say it, Harriet?

Okay, I said it. And I'm too fat to go to my reunion.

Oh, so that's it.

You don't want to go because you've put on a few pounds.

But, Harriet, the Darnells were track stars.

They could eat anything they want and not gain an ounce.

We're talking metabolism here, Harriet. They have it, I don't.

If you're that concerned about your weight, why don't you go on a diet? You

a month.

Harriet, I have tried every diet under the sun, and I've never lost any weight.

I fasted for a week and went up a size.

out tonight.

I feel great.

If you want something to eat, there's some leftovers in the fridge.

Oh, no thanks. I'm too pumped to eat.

I'll just have a glass of water with a twist of lemon.

On second thought, forget the lemon. I'm watching my weight.

What?

Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Not if you think about getting Rachel involved in this.

She can help you. Harriet, it is just too embarrassing.

I don't want anyone to know why I'm not going to my reunion.

Especially not Miss Too Pumped to Eat.

So, what did you guys do tonight?

We talked about how fat Carl is.

Thank you, Harriet.

Carl, I wish you'd stop acting like a baby. Lose some weight and go to your

class reunion.

Oh, I get it.

You put on a few pounds and now you're embarrassed.

Who, me?

Embarrassed? I am not embarrassed. I'm just not going.

Let me ask you something, Carl.

If you could lose a few pounds, would you go to your reunion?

Maybe. Then it's no problem.

I'll put you on my special program of diet and exercise. I guarantee you'll

weight.

Really? Yes.

As long as you're committed to it.

What do you say?

Come on, Carl.

Do it.

Oh, all right.

I'll go on a diet.

Here you go.

Here's the butter.

Give me the cheese.

Harriet, this diet is torture.

I'm dizzy, my vision is blurred, and I'm short of breath.

Carl, grow up. It's only been 12 hours.

Could you pass this?

Do you think you could sneak this past the jaws of life?

Dad! Let me just breathe in the tomato sauce. It's a little wet.

Okay. All right, Carl, here's your dinner. Now, you thought that lasagna

good, but feast your eyes on this.

That's it?

Three stalks of asparagus and some steamed broccoli?

Rachel, I've had more food than this stuck between my teeth.

Salt, pepper, toothpicks, baby food, cooking oil, cornstarch.

I'm going to show you.

Oh, I'm so proud of you.

Hey, Dad.

I got the job.

Oh, I can see.

Congratulations, son.

So how are you, Tomatoes?

Why does everybody keep asking me that?

We'll explain it to you after your father's way in.

Come on, Carl. Let's see how much weight you've lost.

thing works right? I can check this for you. I know exactly how much I weighed.

They weighed me at my last physical.

When was that?

1947.

Yep, right on the button.

Your turn.

Oh, this is dumb. I haven't lost any weight. I just know it.

Oh, come on, Carl. How's this?

We'll all turn our heads.

Nobody will look. This will be your own private moment.

Oh, that sounds okay.

Go on to the reunions.

You eat that and you can kiss your diet goodbye.

Goodbye.

Harry, would you hand me the hot fudge on the stove over there, please?

You know, honey, there is just too much... much emphasis in our culture

days on being thin i mean everywhere you look in tv movies magazines i mean i've

never been what you could call finn i mean as a baby i was chubby as a kid i

husky and now as an adult i'm big boned as long as i can remember i've

always been happy girl if you're happy then why are you worried about what the

people at the reunion are gonna think Well, it's not everybody that I'm

about. It's just the Darnells.

Carl, the Darnells are your friends.

All they're going to care about is who you are and how you're doing.

Not if you've picked up a few extra pounds.

You really think so?

If they're your friends, I know so.

Okay.

I'll pass on the Sunday.

Besides, I want to be sure I can fit into my suit for the reunion.

Good for you, Carl.

And anyway, you're the only sugar I need.

Wait a minute.

You're Winslow.

Miss Gilbert.

You know, you never handed in that book report on Silas Marner.

Oh, uh, my dog ate it.

You saved him, Winslow.

Thank you.

I've only been here five minutes and already I've got homework.

Carol Winslow, right?

Right. And you're?

And this is my little woman.

Remember? Don't little woman me, Russell.

Oh, quit blowing one note, Irene. You're just like your mother.

Oh, yeah? Well, how's this?

I want a divorce.

I'll be in the car.

Good. I'll be at the bar.

Nice seeing you again, Captain.

Nice meeting you, Harry.

Who's that fun couple?

Russell and Irene.

They were voted the class Romeo and Juliet.

Oh!

I don't believe it! Oh, gosh, it's good to see you!

Oh, and you must be Harriet. You are gorgeous.

Oh, thank you. Now, Carl, what has it been, 20 years?

Oh, at least.

Who are you?

arms and shoulders.

Let me introduce you to my wife, Janet.

Janet, I'd like you to meet Harriet and Carl Winslow. Oh, Carl, I have heard so

much about you. Nice to meet you. And I've heard so much about Darnell. It's

nice to finally meet both of you. You know, when Darnell heard about the

reunion, he didn't want to come. He was embarrassed about his weight.

Janet put me on a diet. I have lost three whole pounds.

let themselves go.

Yeah, but listen, can we get something to eat first?

Hey, you read my mind.

I'll catch up with you.

Harriet,

thank you. I love you.

I love you, too.

Skinny.

Dawn, now, look.

You broke my heart because I couldn't dance.

You didn't even want me around.

But, baby,

here to tell you, I can really stick it down.

And that's the day. And I can do the twist. I can do the twist. Now won't you

tell me, baby.

Tell me, baby. Do you like it like this? Do you like it like this?