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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,889 --> 00:00:10,650 And, Rachel, could you please hurry up? Somebody might see you like this. 2 00:00:11,470 --> 00:00:12,470 Stand still. 3 00:00:12,830 --> 00:00:14,810 Besides, you look kind of cute. 4 00:00:17,030 --> 00:00:19,950 That's it. I'm taking this thing off. No, no. Your mother wants to wear this 5 00:00:19,950 --> 00:00:21,110 tonight. I'll be done in a minute. 6 00:00:21,510 --> 00:00:24,830 Well, the dress is bad enough, but this push -up bra's killing me. 7 00:00:27,150 --> 00:00:29,650 Ow! Oh, sorry. It's just a little pin. 8 00:00:30,190 --> 00:00:32,810 Darn, that was the last one. Don't move. I'll be right back. 9 00:00:48,530 --> 00:00:50,090 Edward! Dad! 10 00:00:51,730 --> 00:00:56,530 Son, I think it's time we had a little talk. 11 00:01:09,160 --> 00:01:15,220 It's a rare condition this day and age to read any good news on the newspaper 12 00:01:15,220 --> 00:01:21,320 page. And love and tradition of the grand design, some people say, is even 13 00:01:21,320 --> 00:01:22,620 harder to find. 14 00:01:23,780 --> 00:01:29,640 Well, then there must be some magic clue inside these gentle walls. 15 00:01:31,000 --> 00:01:37,800 Because all I see is a tower of dreams, real love bursting out of every scene. 16 00:02:26,860 --> 00:02:28,280 talk. Go clean your room. We can talk later. 17 00:02:30,460 --> 00:02:33,140 Why can't I keep it the way I like it? It's my room. 18 00:02:33,460 --> 00:02:36,680 Laura, it's not your room. That room belongs to your father and me. We're 19 00:02:36,680 --> 00:02:37,940 letting you use it till you go to college. 20 00:02:39,940 --> 00:02:42,380 If I clean it up, can I go to the dance Saturday? 21 00:02:42,740 --> 00:02:43,940 I already told you no. 22 00:02:44,500 --> 00:02:45,760 Is that your final word? 23 00:02:46,120 --> 00:02:50,060 It was my final word last month. It was my final word last week, and it will be 24 00:02:50,060 --> 00:02:53,440 my final word until you're 15, and that's fine. All right. Bye, babe. 25 00:02:56,880 --> 00:02:58,920 much today, Daddy. Oh, I missed you, too. 26 00:03:01,860 --> 00:03:05,260 By the way, can I go to a party Saturday night? 27 00:03:05,900 --> 00:03:07,840 Hmm. Sounds great. Have fun. 28 00:03:08,200 --> 00:03:10,580 Carl, she's 13. She's too young to date. 29 00:03:11,140 --> 00:03:14,600 When Eddie was 13, you let him take Brenda Jackson roller skating. 30 00:03:14,860 --> 00:03:15,860 That was a date. 31 00:03:16,120 --> 00:03:17,120 That's true. 32 00:03:17,220 --> 00:03:19,560 Yeah, and Eddie hasn't been the same since. 33 00:03:20,760 --> 00:03:21,760 That's also true. 34 00:03:22,700 --> 00:03:25,880 You know, Mom, in some countries, girls get married at 13. 35 00:03:26,810 --> 00:03:30,790 Sure. And they die at 30. You want to die young? Go to the dance. 36 00:03:33,850 --> 00:03:34,990 Was that a yes? 37 00:03:35,350 --> 00:03:38,110 Uh, no. I think that was a threat on your life. 38 00:03:39,010 --> 00:03:41,130 Mom just doesn't understand me. 39 00:03:41,410 --> 00:03:42,410 But you do. 40 00:03:42,670 --> 00:03:45,110 You're the greatest dad in the whole wide world. 41 00:03:46,150 --> 00:03:48,470 Laura, I know what you're trying to do. 42 00:03:48,830 --> 00:03:49,830 Is it working? 43 00:03:49,850 --> 00:03:50,850 Yeah. 44 00:03:57,710 --> 00:03:59,170 we ought to let Laura go to the party. 45 00:03:59,670 --> 00:04:01,030 Carl, she's 13. 46 00:04:01,350 --> 00:04:03,290 If she starts dating now, she'll get serious. 47 00:04:03,550 --> 00:04:07,150 And then the boy will get serious. And then they'll both get serious. And 48 00:04:07,150 --> 00:04:08,150 serious. 49 00:04:09,110 --> 00:04:10,930 Harriet, will you get serious? 50 00:04:11,710 --> 00:04:12,710 This is a dance. 51 00:04:12,930 --> 00:04:14,270 She's got to be home by 10. 52 00:04:14,910 --> 00:04:16,230 Carl, I don't think it's a good idea. 53 00:04:16,490 --> 00:04:19,070 Oh, honey, come on. All her friends are going to be there. Let her go. 54 00:04:19,350 --> 00:04:23,270 If it'll make you feel better, I'll have the squad car drive by every hour to 55 00:04:23,270 --> 00:04:24,270 check on her. 56 00:04:25,090 --> 00:04:27,130 Carl, if you want her to go, fine. 57 00:04:27,400 --> 00:04:29,720 Just remember, I'm dead set against it. Aw. 58 00:04:30,140 --> 00:04:33,040 Thank you, honey. I'm so glad we can agree on this. 59 00:04:58,210 --> 00:05:00,790 happening. You waited too long to put yourself on the market. 60 00:05:01,110 --> 00:05:03,210 Face it, girl. You're at the sale table. 61 00:05:05,370 --> 00:05:06,770 Not her. Not now. 62 00:05:06,990 --> 00:05:07,990 Not him. 63 00:05:08,750 --> 00:05:10,270 Well, don't look now. 64 00:05:10,470 --> 00:05:11,510 He's coming this way. 65 00:05:56,849 --> 00:06:02,510 I don't believe this is happening to me. 66 00:06:02,770 --> 00:06:05,090 If I don't get a date, I'll be humiliated. 67 00:06:05,690 --> 00:06:07,650 Hey, don't get all upset. We'll find somebody. 68 00:06:42,410 --> 00:06:43,410 Brussels sprouts. 69 00:06:43,730 --> 00:06:45,810 Brussels sprouts make me want to puke. 70 00:06:50,130 --> 00:06:53,210 At my table, you eat them. Now, what you do on your own time is your business. 71 00:06:56,190 --> 00:07:00,110 Laura, I know this dance is a big moment in your life, so I thought I'd make you 72 00:07:00,110 --> 00:07:00,789 a dress. 73 00:07:00,790 --> 00:07:02,910 Maybe something with puffy sleeves. What do you think? 74 00:07:03,590 --> 00:07:05,410 I think you can save yourself the trouble. 75 00:07:06,090 --> 00:07:07,330 Nobody's asking to the dance. 76 00:07:07,930 --> 00:07:09,630 Well, honey, I'm sure somebody will. 77 00:07:10,290 --> 00:07:11,530 Laura, you're on Rachel's right. 78 00:07:11,930 --> 00:07:14,410 Now, there are plenty of boys out there just trying to give up the courage to 79 00:07:14,410 --> 00:07:15,009 call you. 80 00:07:15,010 --> 00:07:17,510 That phone is going to ring any minute. 81 00:07:18,150 --> 00:07:19,150 That's right. 82 00:07:20,150 --> 00:07:24,150 Are we going to wait long? 83 00:07:27,590 --> 00:07:28,590 Nobody's ever going to call. 84 00:07:28,850 --> 00:07:30,810 I go through this every time there's a dance. 85 00:07:31,330 --> 00:07:34,170 That's how we know there's a dance coming up. The phone will go dead. 86 00:07:42,220 --> 00:07:43,940 She's just too young for this dating thing. 87 00:07:44,880 --> 00:07:46,940 Rachel, you go right ahead and make that dress. 88 00:07:47,240 --> 00:07:49,540 Laura is gonna get a date, I guarantee it. 89 00:07:55,960 --> 00:07:56,960 Hello? 90 00:07:57,140 --> 00:07:58,140 Mr. Urkel? 91 00:07:58,640 --> 00:08:00,320 Yes, uh, Carl Winslow. 92 00:08:01,120 --> 00:08:02,840 Right, remember we met at the pet shop. 93 00:08:03,340 --> 00:08:04,560 Yes, you were buying mice. 94 00:08:07,080 --> 00:08:10,560 Right. Well, listen, um, I need a little favor. 95 00:08:11,120 --> 00:08:16,220 Yes, uh, does your son, Steve, by any chance happen to have a date to the 96 00:08:16,220 --> 00:08:17,220 tomorrow night? 97 00:08:21,420 --> 00:08:21,860 Are 98 00:08:21,860 --> 00:08:29,740 you 99 00:08:29,740 --> 00:08:30,740 okay? 100 00:08:31,020 --> 00:08:32,020 Not really. 101 00:08:32,080 --> 00:08:33,080 I'd like to be alone. 102 00:08:34,059 --> 00:08:35,059 I understand. 103 00:08:41,690 --> 00:08:43,809 Laura, you're putting yourself under a lot of pressure. 104 00:08:44,230 --> 00:08:46,750 So what if you don't have a date for the big dance? 105 00:08:47,590 --> 00:08:51,050 I can tell you from years of experience that dating is no big deal. 106 00:08:52,310 --> 00:08:53,310 Say what? 107 00:08:54,430 --> 00:08:56,450 Well, it's very overrated. 108 00:08:56,910 --> 00:08:58,030 I mean, think about it. 109 00:08:58,270 --> 00:08:59,270 What is a date? 110 00:08:59,550 --> 00:09:03,570 Two very nervous people trying to think of cool things to say so one doesn't 111 00:09:03,570 --> 00:09:04,570 think the other one's stupid. 112 00:09:05,470 --> 00:09:07,830 You should thank your lucky stars no one called you. 113 00:09:09,100 --> 00:09:11,380 That is the biggest crock I've ever heard in my life. 114 00:09:14,240 --> 00:09:15,240 Okay, look. 115 00:09:16,340 --> 00:09:17,960 I know you have a crush on Mark Newhouse. 116 00:09:19,360 --> 00:09:22,460 So if you want him to take you to the dance, why don't you just call him and 117 00:09:22,460 --> 00:09:23,460 him yourself? 118 00:09:23,860 --> 00:09:25,340 What if he doesn't want to go with me? 119 00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:27,000 Then you'll look like a fool. 120 00:09:32,220 --> 00:09:33,580 That's why I can't call him. 121 00:09:33,840 --> 00:09:35,720 Hey, no gut, no glory. 122 00:09:36,680 --> 00:09:37,880 I'm going out to shoot some hoops. 123 00:09:44,940 --> 00:09:47,720 Any guy who wouldn't go up with you isn't good enough for you anyway. 124 00:09:49,040 --> 00:09:50,040 Thanks, Andy. 125 00:10:23,050 --> 00:10:24,050 Hello, Mark. 126 00:10:24,610 --> 00:10:26,070 This is Laura Winslow. 127 00:10:27,110 --> 00:10:33,450 Look, I may be risking humiliation here, but... Do you want to go to the dance 128 00:10:33,450 --> 00:10:34,450 with me or what? 129 00:10:44,370 --> 00:10:46,870 Okay, here's the party, girl. 130 00:10:55,199 --> 00:10:56,480 Beautiful. What about the dress? 131 00:10:57,900 --> 00:10:58,900 Wait a minute. 132 00:10:58,980 --> 00:10:59,980 That looks familiar. 133 00:11:00,540 --> 00:11:03,420 When we were kids, didn't you make a dress like that for your Betsy Wetsy 134 00:11:04,680 --> 00:11:07,720 Yeah, only to put this on, we didn't have to take Laura's arms off. 135 00:11:09,020 --> 00:11:10,040 Oh, you have a loose trick. 136 00:11:12,760 --> 00:11:13,120 Why 137 00:11:13,120 --> 00:11:20,040 did you 138 00:11:20,040 --> 00:11:21,040 do that? 139 00:11:21,360 --> 00:11:23,140 I didn't know it was a tearaway dress. 140 00:11:28,110 --> 00:11:30,030 Honey, I can fix it. Harriet, get me some thread. 141 00:11:30,370 --> 00:11:33,010 All right, but Rachel, hurry. She doesn't have much time. 142 00:11:33,330 --> 00:11:36,290 Well, there'd be plenty of time if a certain someone didn't pull out one of 143 00:11:36,290 --> 00:11:39,710 threads. You don't see me going around yanking out other people's threads. 144 00:11:56,989 --> 00:11:57,989 So she got a D. 145 00:11:58,470 --> 00:12:00,090 You know, I had a feeling that would happen. 146 00:12:00,530 --> 00:12:02,650 So did Steve, uh, a boy call? 147 00:12:04,110 --> 00:12:05,310 Yes, he's getting ready now. 148 00:12:06,270 --> 00:12:07,850 You get that. I've got to go up and help Rachel. 149 00:12:59,050 --> 00:13:00,110 Didn't know she felt that way. 150 00:13:00,630 --> 00:13:01,630 Nice flowers. 151 00:13:02,470 --> 00:13:03,470 Yeah, thanks. 152 00:13:03,550 --> 00:13:06,030 On the way over, I stopped by the cemetery. 153 00:13:13,330 --> 00:13:16,390 Why don't you go in the kitchen there and wash off the roots? 154 00:13:37,930 --> 00:13:38,930 What have I done? 155 00:13:40,690 --> 00:13:41,690 Laura? 156 00:13:42,310 --> 00:13:43,310 Sweetheart? 157 00:13:43,630 --> 00:13:46,130 Your, uh, date is here. 158 00:13:48,270 --> 00:13:49,270 He's here? 159 00:13:49,710 --> 00:13:52,450 Well, stall him, stall him. I've got to put this dress back together. I can't 160 00:13:52,450 --> 00:13:53,450 work around this kind of pressure. 161 00:13:57,030 --> 00:13:58,030 Hey, 162 00:13:59,750 --> 00:14:00,750 Dad. Hey. 163 00:14:00,810 --> 00:14:01,810 This is Tyrone. 164 00:14:01,890 --> 00:14:02,970 Nice to meet you, Tyrone. 165 00:14:03,790 --> 00:14:04,950 He's taking oil to the dance. 166 00:14:09,960 --> 00:14:10,959 Laura to the day. 167 00:14:10,960 --> 00:14:14,780 Oh, you see, I felt sorry for her. So I gave Tyrone here ten bucks to take her. 168 00:14:15,380 --> 00:14:17,200 But I already set her up with Steve Urkel. 169 00:14:17,820 --> 00:14:18,820 The mouth eater? 170 00:14:21,120 --> 00:14:22,120 He eats mice. 171 00:14:22,860 --> 00:14:25,520 Well, it's probably just a rumor. Does she know he's taking her? 172 00:14:25,940 --> 00:14:29,740 Of course she does, but has anyone actually seen him eat a mouse? 173 00:14:30,580 --> 00:14:33,460 Dad, I've got better things to do than to watch Steve Urkel eat. 174 00:14:33,740 --> 00:14:34,920 What am I going to do with Tyrone? 175 00:14:35,220 --> 00:14:36,420 I already gave him ten bucks. 176 00:14:44,660 --> 00:14:45,700 Thanks, Mom. 177 00:14:45,960 --> 00:14:47,320 Hey, Laura. Look who's here. 178 00:14:48,040 --> 00:14:49,040 Tyrone. 179 00:14:49,500 --> 00:14:50,500 Oh, hi, Tyrone. 180 00:14:51,440 --> 00:14:52,540 He's your date for the night. 181 00:14:54,820 --> 00:14:55,820 No, he's not. 182 00:14:57,840 --> 00:15:00,080 Yes, he is. I gave him ten bucks. 183 00:15:01,700 --> 00:15:04,280 You hired Tyrone to take me to the dance? 184 00:15:04,620 --> 00:15:05,620 Oh, Eddie. 185 00:15:13,550 --> 00:15:17,570 Edward, your sister is right. She can find her own dates. But, Dad... I don't 186 00:15:17,570 --> 00:15:18,590 want to hear another word about it. 187 00:15:19,310 --> 00:15:22,170 Honey, I'm sure Eddie was just trying to do something nice for you. 188 00:15:27,070 --> 00:15:28,470 Hi, I'm Martin House. 189 00:15:28,870 --> 00:15:29,890 Oh, Mark, come on in. 190 00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:32,530 Well, what is he doing here? 191 00:15:33,470 --> 00:15:34,850 Dad, Mark is my date. 192 00:15:35,370 --> 00:15:36,370 Your date? 193 00:15:43,120 --> 00:15:44,120 and all dressed up. 194 00:15:44,440 --> 00:15:48,900 Uh, well, better get going, kids. Don't want to miss the big dance. Have a good 195 00:15:48,900 --> 00:15:50,280 time. Nice to meet you, ma 'am. Hi, Laura. 196 00:15:52,680 --> 00:15:53,960 These are for you. 197 00:15:54,640 --> 00:15:56,760 Wow! Were you wearing a bra? 198 00:16:02,220 --> 00:16:03,220 Who are you? 199 00:16:03,940 --> 00:16:06,540 And why are those flowers dripping on my floor? 200 00:16:08,700 --> 00:16:09,880 I can explain this. 201 00:16:10,500 --> 00:16:12,640 You call Laura to... asking for the date, didn't you? 202 00:16:13,680 --> 00:16:15,120 Why should I? 203 00:16:15,320 --> 00:16:17,620 My dad said you said it all up. 204 00:16:21,060 --> 00:16:22,380 You did what? 205 00:16:22,660 --> 00:16:24,700 Well, honey... I can't believe this. 206 00:16:24,940 --> 00:16:31,540 I've never been so embarrassed in my life. But, Laura, I... Thank 207 00:16:31,540 --> 00:16:33,580 you. What's your name, sugar? 208 00:16:34,100 --> 00:16:35,100 Oh, Steve. 209 00:16:37,180 --> 00:16:40,140 Steve and Tyrone, we won't be needing you tonight. 210 00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:41,600 Come on, Tyrone. 211 00:16:41,690 --> 00:16:43,030 Miss Bell, date's over. 212 00:16:58,490 --> 00:16:59,490 Laura? 213 00:17:00,410 --> 00:17:01,410 Want to talk? 214 00:17:02,870 --> 00:17:05,890 Mom, do you have any idea how humiliating this is? 215 00:17:06,550 --> 00:17:09,050 Laura, your father and Eddie acted like fools. 216 00:17:09,730 --> 00:17:10,849 What they meant, Bill? 217 00:17:12,300 --> 00:17:13,300 guys to go out with me. 218 00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:16,220 I'm sure your father didn't pay Steve a cent. 219 00:17:18,300 --> 00:17:20,480 Mom, this is the worst day of my life. 220 00:17:22,060 --> 00:17:23,060 Laura, 221 00:17:23,660 --> 00:17:25,440 I should be happy. 222 00:17:25,940 --> 00:17:28,260 A very nice boy asked you to the dance. 223 00:17:28,740 --> 00:17:30,940 Mark didn't ask me. I asked him. 224 00:17:31,440 --> 00:17:32,440 You did? 225 00:17:33,080 --> 00:17:34,080 Oh. 226 00:17:36,200 --> 00:17:38,080 Well, he said yes. 227 00:17:38,280 --> 00:17:39,500 That should tell you something. 228 00:17:41,480 --> 00:17:43,780 girlfriend had a fight. He was on the rebound. 229 00:17:44,280 --> 00:17:46,120 He probably would have gone with anybody. 230 00:17:47,640 --> 00:17:50,100 Mom, what's wrong with me? 231 00:17:50,920 --> 00:17:52,920 Nothing. There's nothing wrong with you, Laura. 232 00:17:53,340 --> 00:17:56,140 You're smart. You're funny. You have a great personality. 233 00:17:56,540 --> 00:17:57,680 Great personality? 234 00:17:58,560 --> 00:18:00,000 Oh, I get it. I'm ugly. 235 00:18:00,300 --> 00:18:01,300 You're not ugly. 236 00:18:01,500 --> 00:18:02,500 You're beautiful. 237 00:18:03,620 --> 00:18:05,440 And why didn't Mark ask me that himself? 238 00:18:06,640 --> 00:18:08,220 Because boys are scared to death. 239 00:18:08,700 --> 00:18:09,700 Just like you. 240 00:18:10,480 --> 00:18:11,480 But that will change. 241 00:18:13,100 --> 00:18:14,100 Mom, 242 00:18:14,260 --> 00:18:15,360 dating is hard. 243 00:18:16,560 --> 00:18:17,780 Honey, it's hard for everyone. 244 00:18:19,180 --> 00:18:22,200 Took your father six weeks to get up enough courage to ask me out. 245 00:18:23,020 --> 00:18:24,180 But I'm glad he did. 246 00:18:25,980 --> 00:18:26,980 Now, come on. 247 00:18:29,280 --> 00:18:32,060 I want you to go back in there and go to that party with Mark. 248 00:18:32,280 --> 00:18:33,420 I think he likes you. 249 00:18:34,120 --> 00:18:35,120 How can you tell? 250 00:18:35,460 --> 00:18:36,460 I'm a mother. 251 00:18:36,660 --> 00:18:38,320 I have a feeling about these things. 252 00:18:39,780 --> 00:18:40,780 Thanks, Mark. 253 00:18:48,280 --> 00:18:50,680 Dear Lord, please let this boy like her. 254 00:19:01,400 --> 00:19:03,460 Mark, do you still want to go to the dance with me? 255 00:19:04,100 --> 00:19:05,100 Sure. 256 00:19:05,980 --> 00:19:07,160 You know, I'm glad you called. 257 00:19:08,970 --> 00:19:10,390 I've liked you for a long time. 258 00:19:14,170 --> 00:19:15,170 Night, Mom. 259 00:19:15,350 --> 00:19:16,350 Good night, kids. 260 00:19:16,410 --> 00:19:17,410 Have a good time. 261 00:19:22,430 --> 00:19:23,430 Don't be late. 262 00:19:28,550 --> 00:19:31,870 Laura! Laura, I got it! Rachel! Rachel! What? 263 00:19:32,630 --> 00:19:33,549 She's gone. 264 00:19:33,550 --> 00:19:36,130 But don't feel bad. She can wear your dress on her next date. 265 00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:06,000 little girl's first date? 266 00:20:06,260 --> 00:20:07,260 It was okay. 267 00:20:08,920 --> 00:20:10,520 Well, now that's it? Just okay? 268 00:20:12,360 --> 00:20:16,860 Well, for about three hours, the guy stood on one side of the room and the 269 00:20:16,860 --> 00:20:20,420 stood on the other. I spent most of the night talking to Penny, which I could 270 00:20:20,420 --> 00:20:21,420 have done here. 271 00:20:21,680 --> 00:20:22,680 Didn't you dance at all? 272 00:20:23,060 --> 00:20:23,979 A little. 273 00:20:23,980 --> 00:20:28,300 When I was about 15 minutes left, Mark finally got up a nerve nerve to ask me 274 00:20:28,300 --> 00:20:29,920 dance. Then we had a real good time. 275 00:20:30,320 --> 00:20:32,700 I'm looking forward to when I'm older and boys are braver. 276 00:20:35,989 --> 00:20:38,890 Sweetheart, if they get too brave, you let me know. 277 00:20:41,850 --> 00:20:42,850 Okay, Dad. 278 00:20:43,270 --> 00:20:49,430 And, sweetheart, I am real sorry about what I did tonight. 279 00:20:50,450 --> 00:20:51,450 That's all right, Dad. 280 00:20:51,750 --> 00:20:54,990 But the next time you feel like fixing me up, do me a favor. 281 00:20:55,250 --> 00:20:56,630 Picture Steve Urkel. 20810

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