Original subtitles

What are you doing? I'm studying.

Edward, your study habits are pitiful.

How are you doing in school anyway?

I'm not sweat, Dad.

I'm pretty sure I'm getting straight C's.

So what did he look?

Shot at a bee.

Well, that's a relief.

What subject?

Woodshop.

I'm getting pretty good with shellac.

It's a rare condition, this day and age.

To read any good news on the new paper page.

And love and tradition of the grand design.

Some people say it's even harder to find.

Well, then there must be some magic clue inside this gentle wall.

Cause all I see is a tower of dreams.

Real love bursting out of everything.

We're gonna fill our house with happiness.

The moon may cry.

But we'll smother the blues with sadness.

And say goodbye.

There's room for you, room for me.

Pretend your heart's an opportunity.

And say goodbye.

It's the bigger love of the family.

I haven't colored in years.

I forgot how good I was.

Notice my use of contrast and shadowing to create the illusion of depth.

Too bad you didn't stay in the lines.

We have got to do something with Eddie.

I'm open.

Harry, I'm worried about him.

Study habits are terrible.

Carl, it's his first semester in high school.

He's adjusting.

Took him a month to settle on the right three -ring binder.

Yes, and then he went out and bought two -hole paper.

Harriet, he is in high school now.

If he doesn't get good grades, he'll never get into college.

And if he doesn't get into college, he'll never get a good job.

And if he doesn't get a good job, he'll be living here forever.

That's it. We're hiring a tutor.

I'm all finished studying for the night.

Hey, grab a crayon. You can color with us.

No, thanks.

I don't want to overload my brain.

Tying your shoes overloads your brain.

Oh, yeah?

I can tie my shoes with both hands behind my back.

It's that time again.

And will the lovely report card lady hand me the envelopes, please?

Oh, will you just open them? This report card ritual

is about as much fun as a root canal.

Harriet, this is a Winslow family tradition.

Now, $5 at A is an excellent incentive.

What's an incentive?

Look it up.

Judy Winslow, come on down.

Let's see how you did.

Ooh. Two A's and three B's.

As usual, another excellent report card.

English A, Mathematics A, Physical Education A, Music A, Science A, History

B+.

And now you, Edward.

Dad, listen.

Before you open my report card, there's something you ought to know.

My science teacher hates me.

Oh, and during my math exam, I got extremely dizzy.

I think I have an outer ear infection.

Does this mean I didn't get the B in woodshop?

Come over here, son.

Can't believe it. You can't believe it.

This is a dream come true.

Well, six A's, five bucks a piece.

You owe me 40 bucks, Dad.

Five times six is 30.

He can't even multiply.

I got an A in math that says I can.

to be a little short.

I didn't expect to pay off this much cash.

Perhaps I can get some financial assistance from the lovely report card

If you call me report card lady one more time, you're going to spend the night

in detention.

Perhaps you'll take a check.

Honey, you'll feel better if you watch TV.

Wall Street Weekend Review is on.

No.

I don't deserve to have fun until I get an A in history.

Good to see Carlson's Senate program working so well.

I'll get it.

Hi, Rodney. Hello, Mrs. Cofford. It's good to see you.

when you do that come on it's a joke ronnie don't be putting any of that fake

vomit in my kitchen if you're looking for eddie

he's up in his room thanks

I don't know.

I feel kind of sick.

That

was

great.

Come on, let's go to the movies.

I can't.

I need to study.

I really want to keep up my grades.

Yeah, right.

I guess that means you got your report card.

Pretty funny, huh?

Yeah.

What are you talking about?

You got straight A's, right?

Yeah, how'd you know?

We all got straight A's.

Really?

Yeah. I found a way to make fake report cards on my computer.

I mailed them out.

The real ones don't come to the market.

These aren't my real grades.

Not unless you had a brain transplant.

Ken, I thought I was smart.

You thought you were smart?

What are you, stupid?

Dad's gonna kill me.

job on your uniform.

They even got out the jelly doughnuts thing.

That's great, great.

But honey, look, take a look at these college brochures I picked up for Eddie.

With his grades, he can go to any school that he wants.

Harvard, Yale, Columbia.

Carl, don't you think you're getting carried away with this grade thing?

I mean, Laura thought her life was over because she got one B+. Harriet, she

just knows the competition.

Nowadays, there's no room for average.

You're either A shark or your fish bait?

Hi, Mom.

Hi, Dad. Hi, baby. There you are, son.

I've been looking for you.

Look what I got for you.

Ta -da!

Oh, Dad.

It's just what I've been wanting.

All for you, smart guy.

Careful with that jacket. Dry cleaning costs a fortune.

We need to talk. Oh, you're absolutely right, son.

Take a look at these college brochures I picked up for you. They're from the top

Ivy League colleges.

How would you like to go to Columbia?

Why would I want to go to Columbia?

I don't even speak Spanish.

That's funny.

Keep your sense of humor. No matter how smart you get, people always... always

love a man with a sense of humor.

Yeah, that's good advice, but Dad, let's... Oh, one more thing before I

I ran into an old detective friend of mine who went to Harvard, and I told him

all about your good grades, and he's arranged for a Harvard recruiter to come

the house to talk to you. But of course, if you'd rather go to Yale, it's all

right with me. No pressure.

Oh, hi, Rachel.

Hi, baby. Oh, if you're working on your novel, I won't bother you. Oh, no,

that's okay.

I'm 800 pages from the end, so a few minutes with you won't hurt.

Come on.

Oh.

What's on your mind?

Is something wrong?

Well, yeah.

Do you want to talk about it?

Yeah.

Today?

Well, there was this little mistake on my report card.

A mistake?

Yeah, Rodney figured out a way to make up phony report cards on his computer.

And he gave a bunch of his guys straight A's.

Do you know what kind of grades you really got?

Mostly Cs and a couple of Bs.

Well, that sounds pretty good to me.

Yeah, but it's not good enough for Dad.

Oh.

Well, what are you going to do?

Well, I tried to tell Dad yesterday that every time I did, he gave me a present.

So here's what I was thinking.

next report card, I'll get straight A's.

And that way, no one will get hurt.

Well, that is the plan.

Or I could just tell them the truth.

I like that plan.

I had a feeling you'd say that.

You have nothing to be afraid of if you just tell the truth.

Yeah, it'll be a lot worse if Dad finds out from someone else.

You know, Eddie, you're a lot brighter than people give you credit for.

Oh, what's the matter with my little Richie? He just started crying.

Well, he's either wet, hungry, cranky, or tired.

So change him, feed him, tickle him, and put him to bed.

Come on, my little man.

Hi, honey.

Hi, Rick.

Where's Eddie?

He's out on the porch.

Hey, Eddie!

Come in the kitchen for a second, son.

What's all that?

It's a personal computer system.

I bought it for him.

Yeah, Daddy?

Look what I got you, son.

Your own computer system.

Comes with all this software, a color monitor, and it even has a motor.

Dad, I've got to tell you something, and I don't quite know how to explain it to

you. Well, try me, son, but go slow.

I'm not as smart as you are.

My report card was a fake.

Just a second, son. I thought you said your report card was a fake. What did

really say?

I said my report card was a fake. Don't keep saying that.

Rodney did it on his computer.

He gave all of his friends straight A's.

It's a fake?

Well, I tried to tell you, but you never gave me the chance.

Dad, I had nothing to do with it.

Here's my real report card.

This is your best report card yet.

Carlos, four C's and two B's.

And no A's.

Yeah.

Guess I'm stupid.

Maybe I'm the one that's stupid.

Me, son. Can I come in?

Sure.

Edward, can I talk to you?

Yeah.

Son, I... I just wanted to say I'm sorry.

I let you down, Dad.

Edward, you didn't let me down.

It's just that I overreacted to the report card.

You made me proud of you by telling me the truth.

I know that wasn't easy.

This was the first time I ever got to see what it felt like to be smart.

And it really felt good.

You and mom were proud of me.

And I was even looking forward to going back to school on Monday.

But now it's back to being stupid Eddie.

Look at me.

You are not stupid.

You may be a little undisciplined at times.

Well, no, let's face it. You're very undisciplined.

But son, you're not stupid.

You just convinced yourself that you're not smart.

I get a lot of help from Laura.

Well, now don't worry about your sister.

Edward, you just brought home your best report card ever.

And there is no doubt in my mind.

that you can do even better.

You really think so?

Son, I believe that you can do anything you want

if you work at it.

I wouldn't be pushing you so hard if I didn't think so.

You know, son, your grandfather and I never went to college.

We wanted to.

But it just didn't work out that way.

I guess the reason why I got so carried away was because I want you to be the

very first Winslow ever to come home with a college degree.

Well, I want to go to college, too.

And I know how important it is to get a good education.

And I hear the college babes are really fond.

Well, you keep trying.

And you'll find that out for yourself.

I'm proud of you, son.

You did good.

Thanks, Dad.

You did well.

I learned that in English class.

I stand corrected.

Dad, you weren't really serious about sending me to Columbia, were you?

You do know there's a drug war going on down there.

So how's

Eddie?

Eddie is fine.

And I've decided not to put so much emphasis on grades.

So does this mean no more report card, lady?

Absolutely.

Puts too much pressure on the kids.

Besides, it was costing me a fortune.

From now on, I'm going to let the kids go at their own pace.

No more pushing them.

There's a Mr. Stevens at the door. He says he's a recruiter from Harvard.

Oh, no, I forgot.

I gotta tell him he's way too early for Eddie. Oh, let me tell him. I want to

talk to him anyway.

About Richie?

He's only nine months old.

No, I want to talk to him about me.

Cute.

Harvard,

huh?