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1
00:00:05,810 --> 00:00:08,430
Okay, people, now we're going to
visualize.
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00:00:09,410 --> 00:00:13,030
We're in the south of France, riding
past a small farm.
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Everybody, see the farm.
4
00:00:16,590 --> 00:00:17,810
Ellen, what are they growing?
5
00:00:18,250 --> 00:00:20,330
What does it matter? They put sauce on
everything anyway.
6
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The fields are rolling past us. The
people are waving. What are they saying?
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They're saying, Viva la tubulis!
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Very good, Ellen.
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They're urging us to go faster.
10
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Oh, how sweet. They're offering us bread
and cheese.
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Thank you, but we have no baskets to put
your gifts in.
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No, merci beaucoup.
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00:00:44,590 --> 00:00:51,570
What are you doing here?
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Well, I was thinking about trying this
spinning thing, you know, strengthening
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my cardiovascular.
16
00:00:55,430 --> 00:00:56,970
What's the matter, big guys in the
weight room again?
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All right, everybody.
18
00:01:02,100 --> 00:01:03,100
Pick it up a little.
19
00:01:03,860 --> 00:01:06,420
What's going on? Ever since you quit the
bookstore, you've been, like, obsessed
20
00:01:06,420 --> 00:01:07,420
with exercise.
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00:01:07,460 --> 00:01:08,460
I'm not obsessed.
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But, you know, since I saw G .I. Jane,
I'm thinking about becoming a Navy SEAL.
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After the class, I'm going to try
balancing a ball on my nose.
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Well, I'm just saying you haven't even
started looking for work, Al. I'm going
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to look for work. I just want to get
buff first.
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Why? So you can get a job as a
superhero?
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Yeah, and you can be my doofy sidekick.
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Okay, everyone.
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We are now charging the hill.
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Come on, Alan.
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We're racing to the top. Yeah.
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You give me the slow bike.
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We're almost there.
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Al, hey, mine won't go.
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Adjust the resistance.
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All right!
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Woo!
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Woo!
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Wow.
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That wasn't so tough.
41
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Well, you should try the advanced class.
They pedal for 40 seconds.
42
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Thanks, everybody.
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Really good class.
44
00:02:05,330 --> 00:02:06,570
Hachimama, she's a babe.
45
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She's not a babe. She's a fitness
professional.
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You don't just hop on a bike one day and
start pedaling.
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It's a long, hard road from teaching
funk aerobics.
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Yeah.
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I'm still saying she's a babe.
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She's a babe who likes other babes. No.
51
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Get out.
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Proof? It's just a feeling I get.
53
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That and the bumper sticker on a car
that says, Honk if you're a lesbian.
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Hey, Ellen.
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Looking good.
56
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You think tomorrow's in time? Yeah. Hey,
I'll bring the donuts.
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Oh, look at that. That's interesting.
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What? No, no, no, no, no. That's not...
It's the opposite of interesting. No,
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that's... See?
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I just dozed off. Uh -huh, really?
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I completely understand why you come
here eight times a week now.
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I don't come here.
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Because at least I come here because I
want buns of steel. That way I can keep
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my pants off with kitchen magnets.
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00:02:55,800 --> 00:02:58,680
Yeah, right. Just like I don't take yoga
because the Baywatch girls are in the
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class with me. You know, I don't think
pressing your nose up against a glass
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qualifies as taking yoga.
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00:03:07,840 --> 00:03:09,500
What flavor is that?
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Green.
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Green is not a flavor, it's a color.
Really?
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Taste.
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Well, that taste, that's green.
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00:03:24,750 --> 00:03:26,170
I wonder if Wendex Flu is any good.
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00:03:26,370 --> 00:03:29,790
Well, if it isn't, you can shine up the
chrome on Lisa's bicycle.
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Do you really think I'm coming here
spending hours every day doing something
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don't want to do just to impress a
woman? Yes.
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I'm so proud of you. Come here.
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00:03:40,050 --> 00:03:42,910
You know, I've been there, and if it
wasn't for Paige, I'd be there.
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And there, and there, and there.
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And hello, honey.
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Hi.
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Are you here for aerobics?
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No, I have an appointment. I'm meeting
my boss at 2 o 'clock so she can beat me
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at racquetball.
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00:03:55,930 --> 00:03:58,190
Racquetball? You just spent all that
money learning to suck at golf.
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True, but see, my contract's up next
month. And after the game, I'm going to
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hang out in the locker room. Because
once you see your boss naked, you have a
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00:04:06,310 --> 00:04:07,310
leg up in negotiations.
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00:04:08,950 --> 00:04:11,870
Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's how Ed
McMahon kept his job with Johnny all the
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00:04:11,870 --> 00:04:12,870
time.
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00:04:15,450 --> 00:04:17,350
Look at that. She's cute, huh?
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00:04:18,390 --> 00:04:22,580
Spence. How many times do I have to tell
you I entertained a notion once when I
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was drunk, but I am not going to do it?
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00:04:26,180 --> 00:04:28,780
Excuse me. No, no, no. Not for us. For
Ellen.
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Oh. She likes her?
96
00:04:32,220 --> 00:04:35,100
Really likes her. She really likes her?
Yeah.
97
00:04:35,540 --> 00:04:38,320
I swear if you tell anybody in study
hall, I'll just die.
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00:04:39,980 --> 00:04:40,980
He's coming his way.
99
00:04:41,280 --> 00:04:44,460
No, I can't get a burger with you guys.
No, today it's just gluten and twig tea.
100
00:04:45,660 --> 00:04:46,660
Oh, hi, Lisa.
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00:04:46,800 --> 00:04:47,800
Hi, Ellen.
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What are you waiting for? Go make your
move.
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00:04:52,520 --> 00:04:53,600
I don't have a move.
104
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I didn't know how to do this flirting
thing with guys. Believe me, it's not
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easier now that I give it down.
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00:05:00,440 --> 00:05:02,200
From where I'm standing, she's the one
doing the flirting.
107
00:05:02,860 --> 00:05:04,560
Yeah, she does pay a lot of attention to
me. Yeah.
108
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And I am so darn cute.
109
00:05:07,300 --> 00:05:08,620
Just go up and ask her out.
110
00:05:09,040 --> 00:05:12,260
Paige, look at her. She looks like she
dates Olympic swimmers and triathletes
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00:05:12,260 --> 00:05:14,040
and women with the body fat of a
whippet.
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00:05:15,120 --> 00:05:18,340
Ellen, do not let the fear of rejection
keep you from asking that woman out.
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Didn't stop the pathetic parade of
losers from marching to my door.
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You hear that? You're part of the
parade.
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Wow.
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Get on in there.
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Right now.
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There you go.
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Go.
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Hey, Lisa.
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That was a great class.
122
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That was, boy, that was a good class.
123
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Sorry I flipped off that imaginary guy
in the Peugeot, but he was crowding the
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bike lane.
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Hey, you really get into it. I've never
seen anyone work out as hard as you do.
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Well, I like to think of my body as a
temple, you know.
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Except for a brief while in college when
I treated it more like an elk's lodge.
128
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Well, whatever you're doing, keep it up.
It's definitely working.
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Oh, go on. No, really.
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00:05:59,220 --> 00:06:00,820
You know, you should enter our robust
competition.
131
00:06:01,780 --> 00:06:03,520
I don't compete anymore, no.
132
00:06:04,540 --> 00:06:06,600
Not since the dodgeball incident of 72.
133
00:06:07,580 --> 00:06:10,740
You know, they say that Kathy Mason
still has Spalding stamped to her
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00:06:11,900 --> 00:06:13,880
Well, now I just work out for myself.
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00:06:17,800 --> 00:06:19,100
Yeah, I'm exactly the same way.
136
00:06:19,820 --> 00:06:21,580
Hey, what are you doing on Saturday?
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00:06:22,440 --> 00:06:25,300
Saturday? Um, I should check my day
planner.
138
00:06:25,760 --> 00:06:27,800
Oh, that's right, I was going to buy
one. So after that, I guess I'm free.
139
00:06:29,300 --> 00:06:31,920
Great, because I lead a rock climbing
group. Do you climb?
140
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Climb?
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Do I climb?
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How do you think I get free cables?
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00:06:40,020 --> 00:06:42,480
Because we're going to use them to scale
the devil's jawbone.
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Do you want to go?
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The devil's jawbone? Oh, yes, the old
DJ.
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00:06:47,740 --> 00:06:51,080
Oh, jawbone of the devil. Uh, yeah. Uh,
that'd be great. I'd love to. Because
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then I can look through the champagne
glasses I left up there last time.
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You've been there all night? Good work.
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You have to do this, you know. Lock
climbing is very dangerous. People die
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year falling off cliffs.
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You watch too many cartoons.
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00:07:17,760 --> 00:07:20,120
I'm not going to be wearing roller
skates with a rocket tied to my back.
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00:07:22,180 --> 00:07:25,160
Seems like only yesterday Heidi was a
little girl.
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Look at old Heidi go.
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See, I can do this. Look, women were
built for rock climbing. We have skinny
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feet and very strong fingers.
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Hey, don't wrestle me. Come here.
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Chicken. Are you sure you're up for
this? Out of my way, flatlander.
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00:07:45,020 --> 00:07:46,340
You know what? I'm going to get a safety
harness.
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00:07:46,700 --> 00:07:48,660
Wimp harness is what us rock climbers
call it.
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00:07:56,940 --> 00:07:59,040
Ellen? Up here. Oh, look at that.
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There's work.
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00:08:02,080 --> 00:08:03,080
Wow, you are good.
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00:08:03,300 --> 00:08:05,100
Yeah. I'm telling you, I'm a natural.
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00:08:05,380 --> 00:08:09,540
My great -great -grandmother on my
father's side of the family was a billy
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00:08:10,600 --> 00:08:11,559
That's a good point.
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00:08:11,560 --> 00:08:13,140
Come on down while someone shows the
equipment.
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00:08:14,520 --> 00:08:15,860
Okay, down might be a problem.
169
00:08:17,760 --> 00:08:18,900
What do you want me to do?
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00:08:19,320 --> 00:08:23,180
Go to the office and get the manager and
ask him to turn off the gravity.
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00:08:28,920 --> 00:08:31,060
So, how did you finally get down off the
wall?
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I just got down, that's all.
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Someone handed her a safety harness and
Heidi poked her with a ski pole until
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she let go.
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00:08:40,500 --> 00:08:43,580
I can't believe you would actually
consider climbing a mountain.
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Do you remember what happened at camp?
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All the girls went out onto this rope
bridge hundreds of feet in the air so
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we could spit down into the river.
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All except Ellen, that is.
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00:08:53,190 --> 00:08:56,270
Yeah, well, it wasn't because I was
afraid. I had spit a bunch of times
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that day, and I felt like I had gotten
all the entertainment value out of it
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00:09:00,030 --> 00:09:01,030
that I could.
183
00:09:01,730 --> 00:09:04,530
Thanks, Ellen. You're a homebody. You're
not the adventurer type.
184
00:09:04,750 --> 00:09:07,670
Right, and I suppose Eddie Bauer sends
his catalog to just anybody?
185
00:09:11,690 --> 00:09:12,690
Listen.
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00:09:13,060 --> 00:09:16,220
Your coming out was about being totally
honest with yourself, right?
187
00:09:16,860 --> 00:09:17,860
Right? Right. Okay.
188
00:09:18,360 --> 00:09:22,140
This, this is about being dishonest.
It's about pretending to be something
189
00:09:22,140 --> 00:09:23,540
you're not to impress somebody else.
190
00:09:23,740 --> 00:09:26,700
And you think it's beneath me. No, I
just don't think you have the experience
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00:09:26,700 --> 00:09:27,700
pull it off.
192
00:09:29,080 --> 00:09:32,380
Well, what is wrong with changing for
somebody else if it's good for you? I
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00:09:32,380 --> 00:09:35,520
mean, maybe I'm sick of being a
homebody. Maybe I like this new,
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00:09:35,520 --> 00:09:38,640
fearless person. And I think Letha likes
her, too. I think she really wants me
195
00:09:38,640 --> 00:09:39,199
to go.
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00:09:39,200 --> 00:09:41,240
Well, I tell you, if you're going to
fall off a mountain for someone, she is
197
00:09:41,240 --> 00:09:45,120
real... And I think that if I do this
off on a date, it may lead to something
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00:09:45,120 --> 00:09:48,160
more intimate, like a smaller mountain,
a hill.
199
00:09:50,020 --> 00:09:51,020
You know?
200
00:09:51,560 --> 00:09:55,180
Maybe eventually a date where you don't
have to bring a rope and special shoes.
201
00:09:57,720 --> 00:09:58,720
Wouldn't that be nice?
202
00:10:01,320 --> 00:10:03,640
All right, if you're going to go, I'm
going with you, because I've done this
203
00:10:03,640 --> 00:10:04,640
before.
204
00:10:04,760 --> 00:10:06,320
What, pick up a woman or climb a
mountain?
205
00:10:07,959 --> 00:10:10,200
Either way, once I'm on top, I beat my
chest and yodel.
206
00:10:35,580 --> 00:10:38,000
Okay, Ellen, you're doing good. I got
you. Just stay focused.
207
00:10:38,320 --> 00:10:39,320
Okay.
208
00:10:40,000 --> 00:10:41,000
Spider -Man.
209
00:10:42,800 --> 00:10:43,900
Spider -Man.
210
00:10:44,760 --> 00:10:46,880
Spider -Man.
211
00:10:47,300 --> 00:10:49,400
Is there any way you can stay focused
without singing?
212
00:10:50,420 --> 00:10:51,460
Quiet is helping me.
213
00:10:51,920 --> 00:10:53,040
Now I've got to start over.
214
00:10:53,620 --> 00:10:54,620
Spider -Man.
215
00:10:55,840 --> 00:10:56,840
Spider -Man.
216
00:11:10,960 --> 00:11:11,559
You okay?
217
00:11:11,560 --> 00:11:12,680
Yes, never better.
218
00:11:13,020 --> 00:11:16,040
I wasn't using the skin on my knees
anyway.
219
00:11:17,380 --> 00:11:20,820
How about you? Well, I kind of regret
not hitting the devil's restroom when I
220
00:11:20,820 --> 00:11:21,820
had a chance.
221
00:11:22,680 --> 00:11:25,560
I can't believe I came all the way to
Yosemite and got you as my climbing
222
00:11:25,660 --> 00:11:27,960
Why can't I have Lisa as a partner?
Well, she had to help the beginner.
223
00:11:29,260 --> 00:11:32,340
Maybe it wasn't such a smart idea to
claim that you were raised on Gibraltar.
224
00:11:34,600 --> 00:11:37,220
Yeah, well, my first dance thing was
Mount Rushmore.
225
00:11:37,790 --> 00:11:39,570
I almost said I lived in Teddy
Roosevelt's nose.
226
00:11:40,950 --> 00:11:42,130
You feeling good? You want to lead?
227
00:11:42,610 --> 00:11:45,830
Yes. And this time I won't be kicking
pebbles down like someone I know.
228
00:11:46,070 --> 00:11:47,550
The human avalanche. Wow.
229
00:11:52,650 --> 00:11:53,650
Hey.
230
00:11:54,090 --> 00:11:55,090
Alan.
231
00:11:55,310 --> 00:11:56,310
You having fun?
232
00:11:57,090 --> 00:11:59,110
Yeah. What do you think of some mountain
yelling? Yahoo!
233
00:12:03,710 --> 00:12:06,230
I'm sure this isn't much compared to
Gibraltar. Oh.
234
00:12:06,800 --> 00:12:09,940
Yeah, well, you know, the company's
nicer.
235
00:12:10,220 --> 00:12:14,420
And not to denigrate the fine citizens
of Gibraltar, they're very hearty and
236
00:12:14,420 --> 00:12:15,420
cheerful people.
237
00:12:16,500 --> 00:12:18,060
Kelly, you really cracked me up.
238
00:12:18,480 --> 00:12:21,340
Well, I'm not always this much fun. I've
been pounding beers the whole way up.
239
00:12:23,900 --> 00:12:25,220
Oh, well,
240
00:12:27,280 --> 00:12:28,820
onward and upward.
241
00:12:31,140 --> 00:12:33,820
If anybody needs any help, I'm giving
piggyback rides.
242
00:12:36,640 --> 00:12:38,720
What are you waiting for? Why haven't
you asked her out? Well, I've been a
243
00:12:38,720 --> 00:12:40,360
little busy, what with the defying death
and all.
244
00:12:40,580 --> 00:12:44,540
Well... Well, I'm just saying I think
she likes you.
245
00:12:44,820 --> 00:12:47,640
I think so, too. A little while earlier,
I think I felt her hand brush against
246
00:12:47,640 --> 00:12:49,520
the back of my leg. Uh, no, that was me.
247
00:12:51,780 --> 00:12:53,280
Thank God. I thought she was kind of
hairy.
248
00:12:53,480 --> 00:12:54,480
Yeah.
249
00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:59,680
Why don't you hit that next ledge and go
talk to her? Okay. All right? You take
250
00:12:59,680 --> 00:13:02,320
your time. Okay. And if the mountain's,
uh, rockin'...
251
00:13:39,180 --> 00:13:40,019
ask you something.
252
00:13:40,020 --> 00:13:41,020
Sure, what?
253
00:13:43,500 --> 00:13:44,900
I'm out of water. Can I get some of
yours?
254
00:13:46,180 --> 00:13:47,180
Water, that's easy enough.
255
00:13:47,700 --> 00:13:49,420
Boy, you're a cheap date.
256
00:13:50,200 --> 00:13:53,400
Yeah, I am. I'm a cheap date. Not, not,
I mean, not in every sense of the word.
257
00:13:58,620 --> 00:13:59,519
That's delicious.
258
00:13:59,520 --> 00:14:01,440
That is good water. That's just right.
Tasty.
259
00:14:01,860 --> 00:14:05,120
And what is that, spring or mineral or
filter? Because that is just so perfect.
260
00:14:05,520 --> 00:14:09,770
Not too hard, you know, which is, uh,
What is hard water anyway? There's
261
00:14:09,770 --> 00:14:12,570
really... The only true hard water
really is ice, which is good, but it's
262
00:14:12,570 --> 00:14:13,570
cold.
263
00:14:15,150 --> 00:14:20,490
You notice I probably... I didn't, uh...
I didn't wipe it off, you know, the...
264
00:14:20,490 --> 00:14:23,750
Because I think that's so offensive when
people wipe it off, like, my lips
265
00:14:23,750 --> 00:14:24,750
aren't good enough, you know?
266
00:14:24,950 --> 00:14:26,790
But your lips, to me, are A -okay.
267
00:14:27,950 --> 00:14:33,030
So, uh... Uh... So, do you want to go
out sometime?
268
00:14:33,910 --> 00:14:36,570
I'd love to go out with you. Oh, great.
But I can't. Oh, no.
269
00:14:38,760 --> 00:14:40,140
I'm seeing someone, Ellen. I'm sorry.
270
00:14:40,920 --> 00:14:43,360
I've been seeing her for about a month
now, and I feel like she'd really give
271
00:14:43,360 --> 00:14:44,360
a shot, you know?
272
00:14:44,820 --> 00:14:46,480
Yeah, well, yeah, you should. Yeah,
probably.
273
00:14:48,300 --> 00:14:49,300
Attaboy, Jerry!
274
00:14:50,780 --> 00:14:51,780
Attaboy, Spence!
275
00:14:53,320 --> 00:14:54,320
Right here, Ellen.
276
00:14:55,560 --> 00:14:56,560
I'll be with you in a minute.
277
00:14:59,660 --> 00:15:04,480
So, uh, so this, um, relationship
person, is she on the trip here?
278
00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:06,440
Are you kidding? God, no.
279
00:15:07,089 --> 00:15:08,590
Rachel would never do something like
this.
280
00:15:09,190 --> 00:15:10,190
She's a homebody.
281
00:15:10,310 --> 00:15:11,950
Oh, wow, that's funny.
282
00:15:12,510 --> 00:15:16,610
Yeah, I've been involved with other
athletic women before, but it just gets
283
00:15:16,610 --> 00:15:18,910
competitive, you know? It just never
works out.
284
00:15:19,670 --> 00:15:21,830
Yeah, well, I know what you mean. That's
why I had to break it off with that
285
00:15:21,830 --> 00:15:22,830
Romanian weightlifter.
286
00:15:25,890 --> 00:15:28,110
Hey, you made it.
287
00:15:28,370 --> 00:15:29,370
Great.
288
00:15:29,450 --> 00:15:31,430
Okay, we're going to go on the side of
this more challenging rock.
289
00:15:32,090 --> 00:15:33,090
Right.
290
00:15:33,610 --> 00:15:35,130
So, are we okay?
291
00:15:36,650 --> 00:15:37,650
Yeah. Good.
292
00:15:37,790 --> 00:15:38,790
See you at the top.
293
00:15:42,190 --> 00:15:44,190
Ellen, could you please come up now?
294
00:15:45,390 --> 00:15:46,390
Sure.
295
00:15:52,430 --> 00:15:54,410
I couldn't hold on much longer.
296
00:15:58,610 --> 00:16:00,010
I'm sorry, I heard.
297
00:16:00,690 --> 00:16:04,130
You were listening? Well, I really
wanted to plug my ears, but I needed all
298
00:16:04,130 --> 00:16:05,470
fingers to keep from hurtling to my
death.
299
00:16:07,650 --> 00:16:10,650
So, uh, you want to head back? Because I
think it's a lot further up and down,
300
00:16:10,710 --> 00:16:12,770
and Lisa said there's some kind of trail
if we hit that ledge down there.
301
00:16:13,390 --> 00:16:14,390
Who's Lisa?
302
00:16:15,170 --> 00:16:16,170
I'm proud of you.
303
00:16:16,830 --> 00:16:20,130
I mean, you really put yourself out
there, you know? Women can be really
304
00:16:20,350 --> 00:16:22,010
Yeah, I don't know how you guys put up
with it.
305
00:16:22,530 --> 00:16:23,730
What's the alternative? Be gay?
306
00:16:56,550 --> 00:16:57,550
Yeah. I'm stuck.
307
00:16:58,950 --> 00:17:01,010
You're going to have to get over her.
Time heals.
308
00:17:02,610 --> 00:17:05,430
No, no, no, no. I'm stuck on the rock.
Kick the rope free.
309
00:17:06,569 --> 00:17:09,430
I'm a little busy anchoring you right
now. You know what you do, El? Let go of
310
00:17:09,430 --> 00:17:11,490
the rock. Swing free. The rope will free
itself.
311
00:17:15,410 --> 00:17:16,430
Well, I could just live here.
312
00:17:17,950 --> 00:17:21,109
El, you're going to have to trust me
here. Let go of the rock. The rope will
313
00:17:21,109 --> 00:17:21,989
support you.
314
00:17:21,990 --> 00:17:24,869
The rock I trust. It's been here for
millions of years. Okay.
315
00:17:25,109 --> 00:17:27,310
This rope was a plant in the Philippines
six months ago.
316
00:17:29,010 --> 00:17:30,430
Well, you know what? You don't have any
choice.
317
00:17:30,930 --> 00:17:31,930
Okay?
318
00:17:32,070 --> 00:17:34,730
Okay, you got me, right? Yes, I do.
You've got to trust me. On the count of
319
00:17:34,730 --> 00:17:35,830
three, you're going to let go of that
rocker, right?
320
00:17:36,290 --> 00:17:37,290
Okay. Okay.
321
00:17:37,410 --> 00:17:40,410
One, two... Spence, count to four.
322
00:17:43,230 --> 00:17:44,290
Three, four.
323
00:18:29,390 --> 00:18:31,630
was the bright light and all my dead
relatives waving at me.
324
00:18:34,490 --> 00:18:36,710
Hey, there's a trail over there. You
want to do it?
325
00:18:37,750 --> 00:18:39,270
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. What's the
matter?
326
00:18:41,070 --> 00:18:44,210
Nothing. It's just that, uh, we're
climbing to the top.
327
00:18:45,390 --> 00:18:48,330
I might not have a date with Lisa, but I
have a date with the devil's jawbone.
328
00:18:50,270 --> 00:18:51,570
Today I'm facing my fears.
329
00:18:52,630 --> 00:18:55,250
As a matter of fact, when I get home,
I'm going to wear that pantsuit my
330
00:18:55,250 --> 00:18:56,250
bought me.
331
00:19:21,390 --> 00:19:22,390
I am awestruck.
332
00:19:22,670 --> 00:19:23,670
It's almost spiritual.
333
00:19:24,030 --> 00:19:28,630
Oh, to think that only a handful of
people have seen this firsthand.
334
00:19:32,350 --> 00:19:33,350
Well,
335
00:19:38,530 --> 00:19:39,530
it's a big handful.
336
00:19:40,430 --> 00:19:41,530
Look at that. Starbucks.
337
00:19:42,090 --> 00:19:45,390
Frappuccino? Yeah, I'll be there in a
minute. I just have to do something
27218
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