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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:15,080 --> 00:01:16,080 Don't move. 2 00:01:16,940 --> 00:01:17,940 Hey, what are you doing? 3 00:01:18,540 --> 00:01:20,620 Lights, camera, action. 4 00:01:20,940 --> 00:01:21,940 Anita, no. 5 00:01:22,100 --> 00:01:24,240 Come on, baby. Give me something I can use. 6 00:01:25,440 --> 00:01:26,440 Come on. 7 00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:27,738 That's it. 8 00:01:27,740 --> 00:01:28,740 Yeah. 9 00:01:29,020 --> 00:01:30,160 Give it to me. 10 00:01:31,700 --> 00:01:32,700 Work it, baby. 11 00:01:35,220 --> 00:01:37,020 Anita, I think it's still recording. 12 00:01:37,680 --> 00:01:38,680 Oh, really? 13 00:01:41,080 --> 00:01:45,600 Oh, Nita. 14 00:01:48,220 --> 00:01:49,220 Well, 15 00:01:52,780 --> 00:01:54,360 thanks for dinner. 16 00:01:54,600 --> 00:01:55,980 It was my pleasure. 17 00:01:56,900 --> 00:01:58,240 So you'll call me? 18 00:01:59,340 --> 00:02:00,680 You bet I will. 19 00:02:02,730 --> 00:02:03,930 You're not just saying that, are you? 20 00:02:04,870 --> 00:02:07,670 Because, I mean, I told you about my seventh -grade rash, so now you have to 21 00:02:07,670 --> 00:02:08,670 call. Oh, I do? 22 00:02:08,830 --> 00:02:10,669 Oh, that's the rule. Oh. Yeah. 23 00:02:10,910 --> 00:02:13,970 I mean, you know, you wanted to know about the rash, and I told you, but, you 24 00:02:13,970 --> 00:02:17,070 know, now you have to call. No rash, no call, but I told you about the rash, so 25 00:02:17,070 --> 00:02:18,070 you have to call. 26 00:02:19,290 --> 00:02:21,750 Well, then, I guess I have no choice, do I? 27 00:02:31,550 --> 00:02:32,550 Safe sex? 28 00:02:40,009 --> 00:02:43,550 I never thought I'd see the day when I was dating a doctor, but with this guy, 29 00:02:43,550 --> 00:02:46,870 don't know. I mean, first date, you've never seen anything like it. 30 00:02:47,190 --> 00:02:50,630 We were both so incredibly comfortable with each other. I mean, he was 31 00:02:50,630 --> 00:02:51,630 comfortable, I was comfortable. 32 00:02:52,630 --> 00:02:54,030 Chairs at the restaurant were comfortable. 33 00:02:54,970 --> 00:02:56,290 Even his car was comfortable. 34 00:02:57,050 --> 00:03:00,650 I mean, at one point, I was so comfortable that it made me 35 00:03:03,060 --> 00:03:06,560 Great. So what did you and Brian end up doing? 36 00:03:07,720 --> 00:03:08,720 We taped ourselves. 37 00:03:13,660 --> 00:03:14,660 Excuse me? 38 00:03:14,820 --> 00:03:16,340 Brian and I made a tape of ourselves. 39 00:03:17,900 --> 00:03:18,940 What, like an interview? 40 00:03:21,640 --> 00:03:23,380 No, you know, like a... 41 00:03:45,870 --> 00:03:48,870 happens to the tape? I mean, what if it falls into the wrong hands? Like who, 42 00:03:48,970 --> 00:03:49,970 Ellen? The KGB? 43 00:03:50,610 --> 00:03:54,270 It's a tape in a box in my apartment. Whose Kansas is it going to fall into? 44 00:03:55,170 --> 00:03:58,310 So, how'd he do? 45 00:04:01,250 --> 00:04:05,730 What? You know, in front of the camera. How did he hold up? 46 00:04:08,830 --> 00:04:10,870 Did you see Mickey Rourke in nine and a half weeks? 47 00:04:11,130 --> 00:04:12,130 Yeah. 48 00:04:12,970 --> 00:04:14,870 Yeah, well, it was nothing like that, but he was still pretty good. 49 00:04:17,329 --> 00:04:20,170 Hey, you guys, can I stay on your couch tonight? My parents are going to use my 50 00:04:20,170 --> 00:04:21,170 bed. 51 00:04:21,630 --> 00:04:22,630 Sure. 52 00:04:23,070 --> 00:04:24,070 Oh. 53 00:04:24,290 --> 00:04:25,930 You're going to let your parents use your bed? 54 00:04:27,010 --> 00:04:28,010 After... After what? 55 00:04:28,890 --> 00:04:29,890 You know. 56 00:04:30,750 --> 00:04:33,330 First of all, Holly, I really don't think my parents can tell the history of 57 00:04:33,330 --> 00:04:35,890 bed by sleeping in it. And second of all, they know I'm a virgin. 58 00:04:36,210 --> 00:04:40,810 How do they know that? 59 00:04:41,270 --> 00:04:42,430 Because that's what I told them. 60 00:04:43,690 --> 00:04:45,450 Look, it's one night. They're leaving for Hawaii tomorrow. 61 00:04:46,330 --> 00:04:50,510 Yeah, but still, it's creepy. I mean, they're your parents. What if they 62 00:04:50,510 --> 00:04:53,610 to... do it? 63 00:04:55,210 --> 00:04:56,390 Oh, please. 64 00:04:56,770 --> 00:05:00,650 Hubert and Dolores have not done it for 32 years. They have two kids. They've 65 00:05:00,650 --> 00:05:02,530 had sex twice at most. 66 00:05:10,090 --> 00:05:12,430 It's personal stuff. I don't think my parents need to see. 67 00:05:12,730 --> 00:05:14,450 Ah, very wise. 68 00:05:14,690 --> 00:05:17,110 Hey, you're also coming to lunch, right? You can't make me go alone. 69 00:05:17,410 --> 00:05:18,850 Oh, Anita, we like your folks. 70 00:05:19,090 --> 00:05:20,950 Oh, come on. They're as boring as hell. 71 00:05:21,790 --> 00:05:22,790 Anita, your parents are great. 72 00:05:23,110 --> 00:05:24,770 Hey, watch what you say about my parents. 73 00:05:49,740 --> 00:05:50,740 Would be great, yeah. 74 00:05:52,580 --> 00:05:53,820 I've been thinking about you, too. 75 00:05:56,880 --> 00:05:57,880 Uh -huh. 76 00:05:58,880 --> 00:05:59,880 What? 77 00:06:01,100 --> 00:06:03,520 Uh, that sounds great. 78 00:06:25,320 --> 00:06:27,820 Nothing. I'm sure nothing. 79 00:06:28,140 --> 00:06:29,140 What? 80 00:06:31,940 --> 00:06:34,760 You know, I think he might have been... Might have been what? 81 00:06:36,080 --> 00:06:37,700 He might have been on the... On the what? 82 00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:43,780 Have you ever been to somebody's house and they have a phone in the bathroom? 83 00:06:47,300 --> 00:06:48,380 In the bathroom? 84 00:06:48,760 --> 00:06:52,620 Oh, God, this is so disgusting. He called me from the toilet. 85 00:07:12,560 --> 00:07:13,560 What am I going to do now? 86 00:07:13,580 --> 00:07:14,600 What's the big deal? 87 00:07:15,960 --> 00:07:17,080 What's the big deal? 88 00:07:18,100 --> 00:07:19,920 It's disgusting is the big deal. 89 00:07:21,280 --> 00:07:24,980 He called me from there. He said he misses me from the toilet. 90 00:07:26,800 --> 00:07:27,920 You can't do that. 91 00:07:28,540 --> 00:07:29,820 We had one date. 92 00:07:30,140 --> 00:07:33,760 You were going on and on about how comfortable you were with each other. 93 00:07:34,740 --> 00:07:38,300 Maybe he's just trying to show you how comfortable he is with you. 94 00:07:41,710 --> 00:07:45,050 Don't jump to conclusions. You don't know anything for sure. Well, I know 95 00:07:45,050 --> 00:07:46,910 imagined. Don't worry about it. 96 00:07:47,290 --> 00:07:50,550 I've got to pick my parents up at the airport. Lunch is at one. And, Adam, I 97 00:07:50,550 --> 00:07:52,870 apologize in advance for their being boring. 98 00:07:53,670 --> 00:07:54,810 They're not boring. 99 00:07:55,850 --> 00:08:01,770 Anyway, that's what I told the... Oh, what do you call them? The 100 00:08:01,770 --> 00:08:03,570 stewardess, Mom. 101 00:08:04,510 --> 00:08:06,010 Right, stewardess. 102 00:08:06,850 --> 00:08:11,190 The stewardess, I'll have the chicken. But I'd like an extra bag of the salt. 103 00:08:22,840 --> 00:08:25,820 Sue. Anybody see Coach last night? 104 00:08:28,440 --> 00:08:32,400 You know, when I was a kid, we didn't have a TV. 105 00:08:32,740 --> 00:08:36,220 We used to go to the picture shows every Saturday and Sunday. 106 00:08:36,460 --> 00:08:38,140 Two movies a day. 107 00:08:41,000 --> 00:08:45,740 out of the theater and the sun would be so bright you'd have to walk home with 108 00:08:45,740 --> 00:08:52,320 your hands over your eyes one time walked right into a fire 109 00:08:52,320 --> 00:08:57,940 hydrant cut up both my arms broke my leg in three places 110 00:08:57,940 --> 00:09:04,260 I can still remember lying there writhing on the ground 111 00:09:04,260 --> 00:09:05,260 screaming 112 00:09:21,070 --> 00:09:23,570 a television special, The Brain -Body Connection, tonight. 113 00:09:23,790 --> 00:09:27,130 Oh, I hear that's wonderful. I really wanted to see that, but we're having 114 00:09:27,130 --> 00:09:28,370 dinner with Uncle Ed tonight. 115 00:09:28,770 --> 00:09:32,250 Well, you know, I could tape it and make a copy for you and a copy for Anita. 116 00:09:32,610 --> 00:09:34,670 Oh, we couldn't ask you to do that. 117 00:09:35,050 --> 00:09:39,050 Really? It's no trouble. You see, I tape it, and I can use our other VCR to make 118 00:09:39,050 --> 00:09:40,050 copies. 119 00:09:42,070 --> 00:09:43,070 Isn't that illegal? 120 00:09:47,030 --> 00:09:50,400 Ellen, we have any video? tape. I want to record that brain -body connection 121 00:09:50,400 --> 00:09:55,020 show. Just take any tape next to the TV that's not labeled. Never mind. I found 122 00:09:55,020 --> 00:09:56,300 one. What? 123 00:09:56,840 --> 00:09:57,840 Never mind. 124 00:09:58,000 --> 00:09:59,420 What? Never mind. 125 00:09:59,680 --> 00:10:01,380 What? Never mind. 126 00:10:02,180 --> 00:10:03,360 What? Never. 127 00:10:04,440 --> 00:10:05,720 Hey, looking good. 128 00:10:06,540 --> 00:10:08,720 Oh, that's right. You got another date with Dr. 129 00:10:09,120 --> 00:10:10,120 Comfortable. 130 00:10:11,540 --> 00:10:14,980 Please, Adams. No more jokes. I'm trying to get this whole thing out of my mind. 131 00:10:15,100 --> 00:10:17,180 What thing? It probably never even happened. 132 00:10:17,640 --> 00:10:20,840 He was probably just standing next to a waterfall. 133 00:10:28,160 --> 00:10:31,560 So I told him I didn't want to. He said, well, that's okay. You can do it for 134 00:10:31,560 --> 00:10:32,560 free. 135 00:10:36,720 --> 00:10:39,040 Ellen, are you okay? 136 00:10:40,940 --> 00:10:41,940 I'm sorry, yeah. 137 00:10:42,140 --> 00:10:43,200 That's funny. Free. 138 00:11:08,720 --> 00:11:11,680 Boy, this brain -body connection stuff is really fascinating. 139 00:11:12,200 --> 00:11:18,440 Yeah. You know, I never realized that my brain and my body were so... connected. 140 00:11:20,340 --> 00:11:24,960 I'm Richard Poland, and thanks for joining us on our continuing exploration 141 00:11:24,960 --> 00:11:26,420 the brain -body connection. 142 00:11:26,860 --> 00:11:28,380 Oh, Anita. 143 00:11:28,720 --> 00:11:29,720 Oh, Ryan. 144 00:11:31,880 --> 00:11:33,160 Oh, my God. 145 00:11:34,460 --> 00:11:35,780 What'd you do that for? 146 00:11:36,580 --> 00:11:38,560 I can't believe you'd want to... watch this? 147 00:11:39,240 --> 00:11:40,240 She's our friend. 148 00:11:40,880 --> 00:11:41,880 That's disgusting. 149 00:11:42,960 --> 00:11:44,700 Wait a minute, where'd you get this tape anyway? 150 00:11:45,040 --> 00:11:47,280 I don't know, by the TV, from that box. 151 00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:49,040 That's Anita's box. 152 00:11:49,360 --> 00:11:50,360 Apparently. 153 00:11:51,200 --> 00:11:52,600 What else is in that box? 154 00:11:53,060 --> 00:11:56,060 Wait a minute, is this the tape you used to make copies from? 155 00:11:56,300 --> 00:11:57,380 Uh, yeah. 156 00:11:58,520 --> 00:12:01,280 And you just dropped off a copy of this tape to her parents? 157 00:12:03,380 --> 00:12:05,080 Adam, Ellen, what are you doing? 158 00:12:07,150 --> 00:12:08,570 Actually, we just came to say goodbye. 159 00:12:09,310 --> 00:12:10,310 There. 160 00:12:10,550 --> 00:12:12,390 All done packing. 161 00:12:15,150 --> 00:12:19,730 I cannot believe it. I can't believe it. I cannot believe it. Believe what, 162 00:12:19,830 --> 00:12:22,870 dear? Oh, that Anita didn't tell you. I can't believe she didn't tell you. Why 163 00:12:22,870 --> 00:12:25,910 wouldn't she tell you? How could she not tell you? Tell us what? 164 00:12:26,250 --> 00:12:30,910 Well, you're going to think it's silly. I just shouldn't tell you. 165 00:12:31,170 --> 00:12:32,310 Oh, no, dear. Tell her. 166 00:12:32,710 --> 00:12:34,510 We want to know. 167 00:12:37,070 --> 00:12:39,950 It's just that I love to pack. 168 00:12:42,450 --> 00:12:45,670 You love to pack? She loves to pack. Who loves to pack? 169 00:12:46,670 --> 00:12:50,490 It's my gift. I've always loved packing, and I was really looking forward to 170 00:12:50,490 --> 00:12:54,950 coming and helping you pack. And now that I see that you've already finished 171 00:12:54,950 --> 00:13:01,790 packing... Now, look, Ellen, if it means that much to you, 172 00:13:01,810 --> 00:13:03,170 dear... No, no, it's... 173 00:13:08,400 --> 00:13:13,180 Why don't you go through our suitcases and help us repack? 174 00:13:13,560 --> 00:13:15,540 I think I did a terrible job. 175 00:13:16,460 --> 00:13:18,000 Well, okay. 176 00:13:20,220 --> 00:13:22,160 Wow, who packed this one? Oh, he did. 177 00:13:22,500 --> 00:13:25,360 Oh, Dolores, you should be very proud the man can pack. 178 00:13:27,220 --> 00:13:29,340 Good symmetry, nice juxtaposition. 179 00:13:29,900 --> 00:13:34,760 Weight distribution is a little bit off, but all in all, terrific, terrific job 180 00:13:34,760 --> 00:13:35,980 packing panache. 181 00:13:37,340 --> 00:13:39,500 always did have kind of a good spatial sense. 182 00:13:39,720 --> 00:13:41,020 Ah, well, and it shows. 183 00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:44,800 Well, let's move on now, shall we? 184 00:13:45,480 --> 00:13:46,480 Okay. 185 00:13:47,740 --> 00:13:52,140 We have here... Wow, Hubert, these are some big underpants, if I do say so. 186 00:13:52,940 --> 00:13:53,940 Adam, try these on. 187 00:13:54,700 --> 00:13:55,700 Just kidding. 188 00:13:58,240 --> 00:14:02,920 Oh, that's the brain -body connection tape Adam gave us. Is that what this is? 189 00:14:03,020 --> 00:14:03,869 Well, you know what? 190 00:14:03,870 --> 00:14:07,030 We have bothered you too long enough. But remember, don't drink and pack. 191 00:14:07,530 --> 00:14:11,850 But... Why don't you hold this while I say goodbye to Dolores and Hubert? By 192 00:14:11,850 --> 00:14:14,310 means. Well, goodbye, Dolores. 193 00:14:14,610 --> 00:14:15,610 Goodbye, Hubert. 194 00:14:15,950 --> 00:14:18,550 Goodbye. Oh, I'll miss you. 195 00:14:19,190 --> 00:14:20,810 Well, now he'll miss you, too. 196 00:14:21,210 --> 00:14:22,210 Well, 197 00:14:23,030 --> 00:14:24,070 not like I'll miss you. 198 00:14:24,850 --> 00:14:28,330 I love you so. Okay, so long. 199 00:14:29,550 --> 00:14:30,550 Don't forget. 200 00:14:30,910 --> 00:14:33,770 Here's your copy of The Brain -Body Connection. 201 00:14:47,050 --> 00:14:48,050 Ellen. 202 00:14:48,350 --> 00:14:50,150 Hi, Jim. Can I come in? 203 00:14:50,870 --> 00:14:53,090 Yeah, of course. I'm sorry. 204 00:14:53,890 --> 00:14:57,470 I'm a little surprised to see you. 205 00:14:58,540 --> 00:15:00,380 I mean, you haven't returned any of my phone calls. 206 00:15:00,940 --> 00:15:03,740 Yeah, well, that's why I'm here. I mean, to apologize. 207 00:15:04,540 --> 00:15:08,320 I've just had so many things on my mind, and I feel terrible. 208 00:15:09,940 --> 00:15:10,940 Wow. 209 00:15:12,900 --> 00:15:13,900 Thanks. 210 00:15:14,180 --> 00:15:16,000 No, don't worry about it. 211 00:15:16,380 --> 00:15:18,460 Just glad you're here now. 212 00:15:19,240 --> 00:15:20,260 Hey, can I use your phone? 213 00:15:20,900 --> 00:15:21,900 Yeah, sure. 214 00:15:22,640 --> 00:15:25,380 I'll just... Where are you going? 215 00:15:26,020 --> 00:15:27,300 You don't have a phone in the bathroom? 216 00:15:31,880 --> 00:15:38,180 portable phone no uh no i got one phone and it's right here 217 00:15:38,180 --> 00:15:44,220 oh that's great yeah one phone that's all you need really i hate people who 218 00:15:44,220 --> 00:15:46,660 a lot of phones phones phones everywhere that's crazy you never know where 219 00:15:46,660 --> 00:15:50,800 they're calling you from that's good one phone in the kitchen you can call me 220 00:15:50,800 --> 00:15:54,540 when you're cooking well you know the place is so small that it really reaches 221 00:15:54,540 --> 00:15:55,540 everywhere 222 00:16:01,870 --> 00:16:08,750 what i just remembered is that my car is on fire alan hey alan 223 00:16:08,750 --> 00:16:14,990 hello 224 00:16:14,990 --> 00:16:21,830 oh hi mom uh -huh um 225 00:16:21,830 --> 00:16:26,590 well your flight leaves at seven and it's one o 'clock now so i'll pick you 226 00:16:26,590 --> 00:16:28,030 in it in an hour 227 00:16:32,040 --> 00:16:33,040 to go to the gym. 228 00:16:33,480 --> 00:16:35,720 No. No, no. I understand. 229 00:16:35,980 --> 00:16:37,060 You don't want to be rushing. 230 00:16:38,120 --> 00:16:40,380 Okay, I think I got it. I think it's recording. 231 00:16:41,300 --> 00:16:42,300 Is the red light on? 232 00:16:42,840 --> 00:16:44,260 Can you see the red light? 233 00:16:44,460 --> 00:16:47,880 Oh, you're not recording over the brain -body connection, are you? No, no, no. 234 00:16:47,960 --> 00:16:49,220 Just using the end of the tape. 235 00:16:50,140 --> 00:16:51,260 Okay, now do something. 236 00:16:51,520 --> 00:16:52,520 What should I do? 237 00:16:52,860 --> 00:16:54,380 I don't know. Something fun. 238 00:16:58,800 --> 00:17:01,460 I'm Richard Cole, and thanks for joining us. 239 00:17:11,310 --> 00:17:12,310 something else. 240 00:17:12,369 --> 00:17:14,109 Well, what should I do? 241 00:17:14,569 --> 00:17:18,329 I don't know. Think of something. I don't want this to be a boring video. 242 00:17:19,910 --> 00:17:21,369 You think this is boring? 243 00:17:22,710 --> 00:17:26,490 Well, not so far, but... All right, then. 244 00:17:27,069 --> 00:17:29,210 What do you think about this? 245 00:17:30,710 --> 00:17:31,710 You're racist. 246 00:17:31,790 --> 00:17:32,790 You're racist. 247 00:17:33,290 --> 00:17:36,910 Okay. Now, switch the tapes. 248 00:17:37,570 --> 00:17:40,030 First, go to the bathroom. 249 00:18:28,140 --> 00:18:29,140 take my parents to the airport. 250 00:18:29,320 --> 00:18:30,320 I'll tell you later. 251 00:19:09,260 --> 00:19:10,179 We shouldn't be doing this. 252 00:19:10,180 --> 00:19:13,680 Absolutely not. It's a gross violation to our friendship with Anita. Oh, it 253 00:19:13,680 --> 00:19:17,460 really is. I'm completely ashamed of myself as a human being. Oh, me too. 254 00:19:17,460 --> 00:19:19,380 ashamed. Just fast forward to the good part. 255 00:19:21,380 --> 00:19:26,060 I'm Richard Cole, and thanks for joining us on our continuing exploration of the 256 00:19:26,060 --> 00:19:27,540 brain -body connection. 257 00:19:27,880 --> 00:19:29,160 Hey! Nothing! 258 00:19:32,220 --> 00:19:34,820 Hey, you guys are not going to believe this. 259 00:19:35,280 --> 00:19:37,520 You remember I told you about the tape that Brian and I made? 260 00:19:37,740 --> 00:19:41,040 Yeah. Okay, well, Ellen, I hate to admit it, but it did fall into the wrong 261 00:19:41,040 --> 00:19:44,320 hands because Adam must have used it to copy that show on public television, and 262 00:19:44,320 --> 00:19:47,360 when he gave my parents a copy of the tape, Brian and I were still on the end 263 00:19:47,360 --> 00:19:50,320 it, and my parents actually ended up with a tape of me having sex. 264 00:19:54,340 --> 00:19:57,660 Oh, wait, wait. I was able to erase it on your VCR, and I was able to switch it 265 00:19:57,660 --> 00:19:59,640 with the tape that they had when I took them to the airport today. 266 00:20:00,080 --> 00:20:01,080 Thankfully. 267 00:20:07,470 --> 00:20:08,990 Where did you get the tape you gave your parents? 268 00:20:09,810 --> 00:20:12,910 From the VCR. You know, when I passed you when I was on my way out before. 269 00:20:46,320 --> 00:20:47,440 Hope it didn't kill them. 270 00:20:49,060 --> 00:20:53,960 Anita, I'm not saying that this is going to help your relationship with your 271 00:20:53,960 --> 00:20:56,540 parents, but I'm pretty sure they're aware of the existence of sex. 272 00:20:58,680 --> 00:20:59,780 Don't count on it. 273 00:21:00,680 --> 00:21:05,140 I'm Richard Poland, and thanks for joining us on our continuing exploration 274 00:21:05,140 --> 00:21:06,600 the brain -body connection. 275 00:21:08,340 --> 00:21:09,920 Okay, now do something else. 276 00:21:13,740 --> 00:21:16,460 Think of something. I don't want this to be a boring video. 277 00:21:19,540 --> 00:21:20,580 Look, it's Dolores. 278 00:21:21,060 --> 00:21:22,840 Well, do you think this is boring? 279 00:21:23,220 --> 00:21:27,820 Well, not so far, but... This is amazing. They're even boring on tape. 280 00:21:54,320 --> 00:21:55,320 I think she's dead. 21821

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