Original subtitles

Now the world don't move to the beat of just one drum. What might be right for

you may not be right for some. A man is born, he's a man of means.

Then along come two, they got nothing but the genes. But they got different

strokes to take, different strokes to take, different strokes to move the

Everybody's got a special kind.

Everybody finds a way to shine.

It don't matter that you got not a lot.

So what? I'll have theirs and you'll have yours and I'll have mine.

And together we'll be fine. Different strokes to move the world. It doesn't

different strokes to move the world.

Bye, Dad. Bye, Daddy.

Hey, where are you guys going?

Oh, to the hockey game. We thought we could... we're out of here while you had

your surprise party for your friend Frank. Oh, thanks.

Come on, Arnold, let's go.

Arnold, why are you wearing a goalie mask?

Because I don't want a wild puck up my nose.

Arnold, you can take that mask off. You are not going to the hockey game

tonight.

What are you talking about, Dad?

I am talking about the D you got on your last history test.

You are going to stay home tonight and study history.

Well, in a way, I am. If I go to the game tonight, by tomorrow, it'll be

history.

I didn't think you'd buy that.

I'm sorry, Arnold, but Daddy's really right.

Yeah, don't worry about it, Arnold.

We'll bring you back a program.

Thanks. And wrap it around a hot dog.

Ah, that'll be the man with the cake.

Good evening, young person. Is Drummond resident?

Yes, he is.

Excellent. I am Milos. I come bearing birthday cake.

Ah, would you please put the cake on this platter? Thank you. Your command is

wish.

Boy, oh boy, some apartment.

It reminds me of Czechoslovakia.

Do they have apartments like this in Czechoslovakia?

No, train stations.

See you guys later. Bye -bye. Have a good time, kid. Yeah, you too.

It's a small cake for Milos.

Back in Prague, where I learned to be pastry chef, I bake cake this big for

Russian diplomat. Why did you need such a big cake?

Well, you need big cake when you have to say, Happy birthday, Nikolai Ivanovich

Mislakhnukovnich.

Well, it's a beautiful cake, all right, and my friend Frank is going to be even

more surprised than I'd hoped.

Why is this?

Because it says, Happy birthday, Shirley.

Oh,

I am so embarrassed.

Don't worry about it. It's no great catastrophe.

Oh, you're so kind.

It is nice to live in country where if you make mistake, they don't give you

cigarette and blindfold.

Frank will just have to do without a birthday cake.

Dad, I have an idea.

Sure, what's that, Arnold?

I'll eat Shirley off the cake.

Arnold, back to your history.

Ah, I have storming brain.

Mustard and pastry truck is different cake with no writing.

If you would allow me to enter your kitchen, I will make up icing and spritz

Frank all over cake.

Dad, could you help me with my history test, please?

Sure.

Who was the eighth president of the United States?

Eighth? Ah, let's see. Well, it was Washington, Adams, Jefferson.

Monroe was in there someplace. Eighth? If you will allow me, president number

eight was Martin Van Buren.

Martin Van Buren.

I was just about to say that.

Which two presidents died on the same day?

Oh, that's a tough one.

That's what I wrote on my test.

Answer to small person's question is John Adams and Thomas Jefferson.

It was on 4th of July, 1826.

You are incredible.

How do you know so much about American history?

I go to night school to learn to pass citizen tests.

I have a very wonderful teacher, Miss Armstrong.

Very young, very smart.

It's a pleasure to look on her face.

She reminds me of Hanna Malova Krechnik.

Who's that?

It's Czechoslovakian Mary Tyler Moore.

Well, I hope she keeps you after school.

I go get cake.

Thank you, Mr... Dubrovsky. You spell that D -U -B -R -O -V -S -K -E.

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I'm with you.

What do you mean?

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Good evening, my friends. I have a surprise for class.

Anybody here named Shirley?

What is your surprise, Milos?

In boxes cake.

Re -entering intermission.

Good evening, class.

Here are the pamphlets I promised on career opportunities.

I'm sorry I'm late. Well, actually, the bus driver was late.

The reason he was late is because the woman on the bus who had the baby was

early.

Would you like me to pass out the pamphlets, Miss Armstrong?

Oh, thank you, Kwame.

Featured specs.

Remember, in South Africa, I was a boxer.

Oh, just kidding, just kidding.

Ming Lee, you don't need a pamphlet to find a job. You're a doctor.

Only in China. In this country, I'm still not doctor.

Oh, you will be, Ming Li. You won't always be a technician in that hospital.

I tell you, I cannot wait for a day I can practice medicine in this country.

Ming Li, forget it. You will never be a doctor in America.

Why do you say that?

Because you don't own a condominium.

Class, shall we continue with our English essays?

Um, Milos.

Your first tonight.

Pardon language.

But complete forgot about essay. I have a problem in stupid head last night.

Miss Armstrong, Milos and I were together last night, so I must share

my good friend's stupidity.

Thank you, Minkley.

Hey, I think you two got some hoochie -coochie going on, huh?

No. Rudy, no hoochie or coochie.

You see, last night I invited Milos to have dinner with me in hospital

cafeteria. And afterwards I was talking of my life in China.

Only Milos was not listening. His mind was elsewhere.

What is your problem, Milos?

Problem is probably no problem.

Excuse me for interrupting you, ma 'am, but is this the citizenship class?

Yes, it is.

Detective Simpson, I'm here to question one of your students.

Which one of my students?

It was a Mr.

Ming Lee Chang.

That is me, but not the mister.

You got a point there.

Officer, what do you want with Ming Lee?

Well, there was a theft at the hospital where she works, and we'd just like to

ask a few simple questions.

Miss Chang, would you mind stepping outside with me for a minute?

Oh, of course not.

Ming Li, don't say nothing. Speak only in Chinese.

Please, my friend, there is no need for concern. I have done nothing wrong and

there is nothing to worry about, okay?

Okay. Miss Armstrong, what are we going to do about this?

Clack, just because the police want to talk to her doesn't mean they're going

take her to jail.

Excuse, please, but it's just like in Czechoslovakia when police say they just

want to ask a few simple questions.

That means you can kiss your sweet Petruski goodbye.

That's in Czechoslovakia, Milos.

Here, you're innocent until proven guilty.

Believe me, police are same everywhere.

Innocent people like Ming Lee aren't put in jail.

May I ask hypothetical question?

You mean hypothetical question.

Anyway, take hypothetical person like Ming Lee. Suppose police take her to

prison and she cannot prove that she is innocent.

But suppose there is hypothetical witness.

Some man who happened to be there who saw real thief steal drugs.

What drugs?

Yeah, what's this about drugs?

Did I say drugs?

I'm afraid I will not be able to finish class tonight.

Unfortunately, I have very good excuse.

I'm being arrested.

Why are you arresting her?

Well, she had the only key to the hospital dispensary where some drugs

stolen. Drugs?

answer that question you raised. A hypothetical person like Ming Li would

go free if there were the witness who actually saw the theft and told the

police. That would be the right thing to do. The hypothetical witness should

come forward.

Only if he's a hypothetical dummy.

Wrong, Rudy.

Trust me, Miloš.

I wish you all to know...

I have never had such good friends and such wonderful teacher.

Goodbye.

Jake,

please.

Woman is innocent.

Oh, and how do you know that?

Because I saw crime.

I am witness.

You saw?

Oh, in that case, I think you'd better come down to the station house with us,

too.

Station?

For why?

We just want to ask a few simple questions.

Few simple questions. Questions?

I am kissing my sweet Petushki goodbye.

Well, that's a three -sheeter.

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You're supposed to be New York's finest. If you're so fine, how come you can't

find one chubby Czechoslovakian?

What?

Oh, he's about my size, but he don't talk so good as me.

Oh, excuse me. I can't talk to you no more. I got to go talk to the door.

Hi,

Rudy. Oh, hello, Miss Armstrong.

I was hoping it was Milos.

Why would Milos ring his own doorbell? Doesn't he have a key?

Well, you see, we got the system.

In case I got something cooking.

Milos was the cook.

You mean cooking.

You're not cooking now, are you?

Oh, no. It's been a slow week.

It's been almost two hours since Milos went off to the police station.

Have you heard anything?

No. And thanks to you, we may never hear from him again.

Trust me. Do you trust the police?

Please, how do you think I feel? I've only been teaching two months. This is

first class.

Two of my students are in jail. One, because he listened to me. That is

Couldn't you at least argue with me a little?

I am sorry, Ms. Armstrong.

It's just that I am so worried about Milos.

He is so emotional.

He cannot control himself like me. He has no self -control!

I guess you're upset.

Rudy,

I... I'm sorry. I did not know you had lady here.

That's not lady. That's our teacher.

Milos, am I glad to see you. Please, no affection while innocent woman is still

in jail.

You hear that? Ming Lee is still in jail.

Tell us more about your wonderful police.

You can say that again.

They did not believe me. They said because I am friend, I could be making

lullaby for her. You mean alibi.

That too.

And they told me I cannot leave town. This means I am still off hook.

On the hook.

The real trouble with this country is nobody speaks Czechoslovakian.

Please, calm down and tell us what happened.

Well, they take me to police... I see Cuban was using self -control again.

Tell us what happened at the police station.

Well, I told them everything I knew. And believe me, they are not through with

me yet.

Look, Milos, here, if you're innocent, you'll go free.

Even if something goes wrong, you'll get a public defender.

If he is so innocent, why does he need a lawyer?

Good question.

What I mean is, even if you're put in jail, you'll eventually go free.

Innocent people have been in jail for 15 years or more.

Maybe that's not a good example.

She scares me more than police.

Is this why I come to this country?

I hope for better life, democracy, justice.

Where is justice if Ming Lee is still in jail and police tell me I cannot leave

town? You have to stay in town because you're a witness.

She is right, Milos. I hear them say that on all the television cap shows.

They say that because I am suspect.

And one night soon I will hear boots on stairway, knock on door, and they send

me to jail or worse, back to Czechoslovakia.

And my dream of citizen is being gone forever.

Milos, I keep telling you that's not the way it is.

Sure, so our system may not be perfect.

Now she tells me.

What a mess.

Poor Ming Lee is in jail and... I'm sorry, Milos.

I didn't mean to get you into this.

I don't know what it is with me.

Oh, please, not to cry.

I know you meant well.

Thanks.

Keep good thoughts, Milos.

It's very important to think positively.

I wish I could.

She's a very nice lady.

Yeah, she's a good friend, too.

Oh, yeah, and you are a good friend, too, Rudy.

No, no, it's lucky day for me when I meet you.

It was luckier day for me when I meet you in that school cafeteria.

I was broke.

But you, a total stranger, you bought my food.

Yeah, you look like man I could trust.

Ah, thank you. By the way, you never paid me back.

You'll get it back next week if you're not in jail.

Thank you.

I think.

Milos, amigo, listen to me.

Do not let the police drive you crazy. You've got to think of something else.

Rudy, it does not matter what I think in head, but what I feel in heart.

Total fear.

Now, class, the O -U -G -H in this word is pronounced off, and the O -U -G -H

in this word is pronounced O.

And why is that?

I don't know why, but that's how it is.

You see, the English language is very... Well, it's very...

I'm sorry, class.

Are you all right, Miss Armstrong?

Please forgive me. I just can't concentrate.

My mind is on Ming Lee and Milos, and now Rudy's not here. You must stop

yourself.

Miss Armstrong, you must remember that you are a very inexperienced lady.

It's not your fault that you don't know what you're doing.

Miss Armstrong, do you think they will release Ming Lee?

Well, I'm not sure, but she's getting a public defender, and I know she'll be

proven innocent.

And meanwhile, she has a comfortable cell that she shares with a very nice

hooker.

What is a hooker?

Oh, that comes later in the course.

Rudy, where have you been, and where's Milos? I got a hunch he left town.

Why do you say that?

All his clothes are gone, all his cooking utensils are gone, and he left

note saying he was leaving town.

No.

Good evening.

Milos is back.

Milos, amigo, I was just telling them about your note. Please disregard what's

written by cowards.

I sneak away in the middle of night.

First I take subway.

Then I get off. I take bus.

Then I take other subway.

Then I take other bus.

Then I realized horrible thing.

I'm in Bronx.

Then I remember what you say, Miss Armstrong.

And I say to myself, Milos, it's wrong for you to run away. Fool on you.

Must trust system. You are right.

Oh, I'm so glad, Milos.

Ming Lee is innocent and I will keep yelling on police until they free her.

And if they want come for me again, so let them come.

Excuse me. But why so soon?

Just to explain.

Look,

Mr. Dabrowski, you hung in with your story, so we checked out the description

the fellow you said you saw steal the drugs.

And he fit an M .O.? M .O.? What is M .O.? It means method of operation.

What I really wanted to tell you was that there's a guy out there running

pulling these kind of jobs. And we're going to get him. But we haven't yet.

The point is...

I busted your friend Ming Lee here in front of all of you, and I just thought

should apologize to her in front of all of you.

I want to thank you for the cooperation you gave us out at the station, Miss

Jang. You are welcome.

And if I never see you again, it will be my pleasure.

Hold, please, Mr. Detective.

Here's one more thing, Miss Armstrong.

Something I never thought I would live to see myself do.

What do you mean?

Kiss a cop!

Got one more.

Well, class, that was quite an experience.

What have we learned from this?

I know.

Never have dinner with Ming Lee.

Is it anybody going to ask me what grade I got on my history test today?

No.

Just kidding, just kidding.

Yeah, of course we want to hear, Arnold.

I hope it is a better grade than the D you got on the last one.

It is so much better you'll want to give me a reward.

What's the grade? What's the reward?

The reward is that Dad won't ground you for the D you got.

Oh, would you quit stalling? What grades did you get?

one question. It was about John Alden and Miles Stanish. I had Priscilla

out with the wrong dude.

Good evening.

You remember me, man from Stupid Cake?

Yes, come in, come in, come in.

Hi. Hi. What brings you back, Mr. Dubrovsky?

I return to make up for mistake with cake for friend Frank.

I bring gift.

Oh, that wasn't necessary, but thank you.

Coincidentally, Small person got an A on his history test.

Ah, good.

So did I.

You like?

Oh. Oh, it's terrific. Wow. Wow. American flag, yeah. Great.

Wow. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

I'm afraid you got 51 stars.

Ayaknik is one too many.

Nothing but the truth.

I want you to meet my new man. This is Hector.

You know, I want to tell you, sir, that I heard a lot about you, and I'm very

honored and proud to work for you.

Malcolm's only a silent partner in the garage. Any kissing up goes through me

first. Got it?

Got it. Could you please tell him, sir, that he has on a very nice shirt?

Well, thank you very much.

The man's got good taste. He's a definite keeper. Yes, yes. Now, as for

what is this bottle of antifreeze doing in my freezer? Hopefully not freezing.

Look, Eddie, my kitchen is not a part of your garage, okay? Now, the health

inspector's been hitting all the bars lately.

If he finds something like that in my freezer, he'll shut me down. You know he

shut down McGinley's yesterday.

What for?

Apparently one of his secret ingredients had a tail.

Man, I just had his curly fries.

Look, from now on, just don't walk through my kitchen anymore, okay? I'm

to treat your kitchen like holy ground. Okay.

Yo, yo, yo, yo.

Check out the carburetor. It's sparkling clean from your dishwasher, sir.

Sparkly clean, sir.

Isn't it quite funny, Bob?

They just won't leave you alone.

What you did inside your home?

Milton's back.

Who's Milton?

Well, Kelly banned him from the bar about a year ago. The guy is just a big

jerk. Maybe he wouldn't be if you treated him with some kindness and

you know.

Watch and learn, my dear.

Watch and learn.

Check it out.

Hey, how you doing?

Welcome to Kelly's.

Get me a drink.

Okay, well, that's what we're here for.

What's your preference?

To have a drink in front of me instead of you. Nope.

Watching, not yet learning.

Get me a scotch on the rocks, and today would be okay.

I'm coming right up, my friend.

Yo, this scotch is a jerk.

Hey, where's my scotch? You go all the way to Scotland to get it?

Hey, relax yourself. It's coming.

Based on the new management I heard, huh?

What chump would buy this dump?

If you're asking who has the right to refuse you service, that would be me.

Oh. Did I say chump? I mean champ.

Champion Chump.

Who's Kung Fu?

Just kick his ass out of here, man. No, no, no.

for the people and I don't want to cause a scene.