Original subtitles

Now the world don't move to the beat of just one drum. What might be right for

you may not be right for some.

A man is born, he's a man of needs.

Then along come two, they got nothing but the genes. But they got different

strokes to take, different strokes to take, different strokes to move the

Everybody's got a special kind of story.

Everybody finds a way to shine.

It don't matter that you got not a lot.

So what? I'll have theirs and you'll have yours and I'll have mine.

And together we'll be fine. Because it takes different strokes to move the

world. Yes, it does. It takes different strokes to move the world.

Hey, guys, you better get a move on. Kimberly's all ready and her girlfriend

told you she'll be here any minute. Okay, Dad.

Arnold, Dad's here.

Okay. Are you still fooling with your hair? You were going to be bald before

you're 15.

And then the girls can run their fingers through my scalp.

Arnold is ready, Papa Sam.

Hit him. The shrunken shogun.

Big Mouth Brother disarmed brave samurai.

Must now commit seppuku.

Do you think he died from the rubber dagger or from overacting?

Well, I guess we'll have to go to the amusement park without our dead samurai.

No way.

Okay, then get changed and let's get moving.

Boy, I can't see why I can't go with this on.

It's more comfortable.

It's easier to get on and off the rides.

Don't jive me, little brother.

I know why you all dressed up.

Doing press pootie. You got a crush on her.

Well, look.

I just think she's nice for a girl. I mean, I'm not ready to swap sandwiches

with her.

And besides, she's older than me.

Arnold, older women and younger men are in now.

This woman is 12 years old.

And she's also taller than me. So what?

That doesn't matter either.

It's the man himself that counts.

You know, maybe you're right.

I mean, if the woman likes you, what difference does it make if you only come

to her Adam's apple?

Now you got it.

You may be small, but you got macho.

Yeah, that's me.

Mucho macho.

Hey, gang!

Am I the only one going?

We're all set.

We're coming, then.

Boss, did you want the wrong color shirt with me? Yeah, I'm going. That's the

fun. Let's get to showing bro.

Where's Arnold?

In the bathroom, drowning himself in the aftershave lotion.

Aftershave lotion?

Yeah. Royal bull musk. Wow, Paul Musk.

Where'd he get a dumb thing like that?

Out of my medicine cabinet.

Sorry, Daddy.

That dumb thing costs $18 a bottle.

Why would a nine -year -old boy be putting on aftershave lotion?

To catch a 12 -year -old girl.

He's got a crush on Tootie.

Well, I hope he doesn't put on too much of that aftershave lotion.

Why? Does it drive the woman crazy?

No, it attracts flies.

He says he's going to ask Tootie to be his date today.

Oh, he is?

Well, maybe... You better have a word with her so she doesn't turn him down.

Listen, I don't want either of you two kidding Arnold about this. You

understand? Okay, Dad.

But it's hard not to.

He says he's going to tease his hair up and try to make him look taller.

He's going to need a two -foot afro.

And he's also wearing my boots and he stuffed them with two extra cards.

I'm ready.

She'll be here any minute. Ah, good.

Whoops.

Too much wax on those stairs.

wax on these socks, too.

Now, who's been playing cards in these boots?

On the next round of BET's Black Poker Stars Invitational, is Faison Love

hustling the competition?

I don't know what that means.

See who gets paid and who gets played tonight at 11.

Billy's got an Oreo cake, sir. Billy's got an Oreo cake, sir.

Bobby's got his first chest hair? Oreo cake, sirs. This is big.

Oh, this bad boy is big, man. You like this, right? This is bigger than my

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I'm with you.

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Arnold, you're making a fool out of yourself.

No, Mr.

Look, son, we understand why you're doing this, but you're trying too hard.

Just be yourself with Tootie.

Yeah, Arnold, she thinks you're nice. That's the way you are.

That's probably her right now. Well, I better go upstairs and put on my own

shoes.

It's nice to see you again.

How was your summer camp?

Terrific. I got poison ivy.

Getting poison ivy is terrific?

It is when everyone else gets diarrhea.

Now, Philip Drummond here.

Would you ask my chauffeur to bring the car around, please?

Thank you.

The car will be here in a minute, kids.

Hey, tell her about Mr. High Hair.

Oh, yeah.

Hey, T .D. Arnold.

kind of got a crush on you, and he's going to ask you to be his date for

Me and Arnold?

Talk about an odd couple.

But I'm really flattered.

See, he feels kind of funny because you're, you know, older than he is, not

mention taller.

Well, I can't do anything about my age, but if it'll make him feel better, I'll

walk on my knees.

Gee, what's that strong smell?

It makes you smell really tall.

It does?

It's good to see you, Arnold.

She can't keep her hands off me.

Isn't there something you want to tell her, Arnold?

Why don't we all go and get our sweaters and jackets?

Good idea.

Hi.

What did you want to say to me, Arnold?

Just...

I'm going to the amusement park today. Aren't you?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know, I find amusement parks amusing.

Oh, and speaking of amusement parks, I was wondering if, you know, if you... If

what? Well, if... If what?

If you'd be my personal date today, I'd love to... I knew you wouldn't.

I know, but I said yes.

I'll be your personal date.

Yeah?

Terrific. In that case, I'll be your date, too.

Okay, we're all ready. Let's go.

Yeah.

Uh, Dad?

Yes? Would you mind making a little stop along the way?

Well, what for?

This. I want to get some money for my bank account for me and my date.

Oh, no, Arnold. I have my own money.

Oh, Arnold, we don't have to stop at our bank. I've got plenty of money for all

of us. You know, this is my treat.

Now, Dad.

When a man takes out a woman, he should pay for it with his own money. But if

you insist on treating somebody, you can treat me.

Arnold,

wait a minute.

I think I can handle this myself, Dad. Don't let me take $12 out with my bank

book. Well...

I think I better go with you anyway.

But, Dad, it's my money and my date.

And that you want to come along in the tunnel of love.

I'll go with him, Dad, just in case.

Oh, okay, go ahead.

Don't take too long, Arnold.

I hope she's not after me for my money.

You just made it, boys. I'm about to lock up here. Okay, we won't take long.

Hurry up, Arnold. All right.

Can I make a withdrawal?

Only if you have money in the bank.

No, I have an account here.

Okay, we're in business.

How much would you like to withdraw?

Well, I'd like $2 ,000, but I've only got $12 ,000.

You want to withdraw the whole $12 ,000?

No, I'd better leave it in the estate.

Make that $1 ,150.

Good thinking. Okay, here you are. Just find this.

All right. Let me hear your hand, bro.

Bend over.

Thanks.

There.

Okay, here's your $11 .50.

Thank you, my man.

All right.

Wait a minute.

I just remembered something.

What? When I opened my account here, I didn't get my free toaster.

So what?

until I get my toaster. Where is the manager?

Oh, no.

Excuse me. Excuse me.

Are you the manager?

Something tells me you're not the manager.

Freeze! This is a hold -up!

What'd you talk about, Victor?

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Billy's got an Oreo cake, sir.

Billy's got an Oreo cake, sir.

Bobby's got his first chest hair. Oreo cake, sir. This is big.

Hey, Rog, word is you refiled your taxes and got an even bigger refund.

Word travels fast, huh?

You refiled your taxes? How?

Big brain.

So what'd you put down for Schedule C?

What about the alternative minimum tax?

I don't want to get too technical.

Pretty complicated.

You know what?

I am really busy right now.

Hey. Okay, Roger.

What's your secret?

I got people.

People? Yeah, they took a second look at my taxes, found a whole bunch of money

my old guy missed. No kidding.

Yeah, they made sure I didn't miss anything.

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I don't care if you're rich or poor, young or old.

I will come after you.

I will hit you so hard you won't know what day it is. You'll want to scream

help, but you won't be able to. I'll cripple an arm or a leg or maybe, just

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Okay, move it, folks.

Don't try anything funny. Don't trip any alarms. Come on, lady. Move it in

there. Move it in there.

All right, all right, all right.

Everybody quiet.

Now, these ain't water pistols we got here.

Real bullets come out of these guns.

Hey, listen.

Forgive my free toaster. We got to get to the amusement park.

Yeah. Have a nice day.

Oh, thank you, too.

Now, rule number one.

Nobody moves unless I tell them to.

Yes, sir. I never argue with a guy wearing pantyhose.

If you've got a gun, you can wear a girdle if you want.

Just stay cool, folks, and nobody's going to get hurt.

We're going to get the money and run.

We're going to get the green and we won't be seen.

Now, we don't want to hurt anybody, so... Shut up, Thomas.

Cover the cameras.

Cameras, right.

Thomas, relax.

Relax.

Right.

I...

I'm Mr. Gibson, the manager.

Now, I assure you that none of my employees or I will do anything foolish.

And none of his customers will either.

We just want you to get out of here. We don't want any trouble.

What do you want us to do?

Mr. Gibson, you and your friends just be calm and behave yourselves.

Thomas, lock the back door. Back door's already locked. Good.

What do you mean, good?

Check it, Thomas.

Check it. Right, Woody.

All right, folks.

Now, while I'm gone, nobody tries anything funny, huh?

Because Woody means what he says.

You cross Woody, he gets nasty. Not at all.

See what I mean?

Thomas.

Right.

What did we get ourselves into?

What did we get ourselves into?

You're the one who wanted to come in here and show off a toady.

Knock it off, you two.

Arnold Jackson, knock it off, sir.

Like the man said, when your back door is locked.

Good.

Now, Mr. Gibson, let's get the money out of the vault.

Tell us.

Help him get the money.

Thomas, take him in.

Okay, this way, this way. Come on, move it.

Move it, move it. I ain't got all day, lady. You, you down.

Thomas.

I want all the money in the bank.

Right.

Well, here goes my $11 .50.

You got quick insurance.

Kid, I'm not going to warn you again.

Shut up.

Yes, sir. I'm a one -warning man.

Arnold must be getting all of his money in pennies.

You know, Arnold's really trying to impress you, Tootie. I hope he

this isn't a permanent relationship.

It's just one mad fling at an amusement park.

Sorry, we're closed.

Let me in. My two sons are in there.

I said we're closed.

Well, when the world's taking them so long, please let me in.

Tell Mr. Gibson it's Mr. Drummond.

What do you want me to do?

Get up.

Move it.

All right, let the dummy in.

Hey, watch your language. That dummy's our father.

Hey, boys, what is taking you so long?

We've been waiting... Now, mister, stay put and shut up. If you don't want to

get hurt, don't try to be a hero.

Don't worry, he won't. We're all cowards.

Dad's the biggest one.

Better cooperate, Mr. Drummond.

Don't worry, I will.

You can have any money I've got, but just don't harm my boys.

Come on, move. Put the bread on the table.

Move up there.

Where did he come from, Woody?

I had to let him in.

These are his kids.

His kids?

Manette Buston's really working.

We're adopted.

You put that gun away, maybe he'll adopt you too.

Look, gentlemen.

Shut up.

Thomas, get the rest of the money out of the vault and let's get out of here.

There isn't any more money. This is it.

What do you mean there's no more money?

They said there's no more money.

Oh, well.

In that case, we could have just knocked on the front door and asked them if

they had any money. They say, no, we could have gone to the movies.

I'm sorry.

I'll handle the vault.

You start loading this dough, and you keep a close eye on these people.

You three, into the vault.

You want me to see who it is?

Yeah, yeah.

But nobody else gets in.

We're not running a hotel here.

Sorry, we're closed.

Uh, yeah, my dad and brothers are in there.

They'll be out soon.

Let us in.

I can't.

I mean, we're closed.

Can you tell them to hurry, please?

Yeah, yeah, sure.

Is there anything wrong?

No, no, no, no, no.

Everything's fine.

Thomas, start loading.

Now move it.

Mr. Drummond, that was your daughter and another girl.

Thanks.

Thank goodness they didn't let them in.

Yeah, women panic.

They can't face danger like us men. Right, Arnold?

Only if that us don't include me.

Just stay calm, guys.

All they want is the money and then they'll get out of here.

Hey, Thomas, man, I... How could you do something like this?

You make it tougher on the rest of us. Don't give me that jive kid, huh?

There's a lot of good brothers out there, but you're the one they're going

remember. Well, dang you.

Telling a hungry man he shouldn't have money to eat?

Listen, I was hungry once, too.

I came from the poorest part of Harlem, but I never picked up a gun in my life.

What part of Harlem are you from?

Me and Lucy are from Harlem.

Arnold, you can tell them later.

What part of Harlem are you kids from?

I'm from there, too.

Hey, we're from 124th Street.

124th Street? You kidding?

Hey, you know Crazy Harold?

No, I didn't. I was there the day he bit the horn.

That's Crazy Harold, all right.

So where you kids live now?

Oh, in a big penthouse on Park Avenue.

Oh, yeah?

What's the address?

Woody and I'll stop by one night.

You wouldn't like it.

It's an old penthouse.

The building's condemned.

Gibson, get another briefcase.

Hey, Woody.

Hey, these kids, they used to live in Harlem.

Yeah. On 124th Street, they even knew Crazy Harold.

What are you doing?

I'm robbing a bank, and you're playing Barbara Walters.

Get over here.

Thomas, will you watch it?

I'm sorry, Woody. I just...

Look, relax.

We got it made.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh, I love you, Abe Lincoln.

You've always been my favorite president.

your customers as nice as you.

I want everybody... Attention in the bank.

Attention in the bank.

This is the police.

This is Captain Burns speaking.

We know you are in there and you are surrounded.

Why don't you come out, give yourselves up, and nobody will get hurt.

They're all over the place.

And one of these wise guys tripped an alarm.

None of us did it. Probably him, Mr. Straight.

Now, you think I'm crazy? I got a wife and three kids.

I'm a bachelor, but I'm not crazy either.

How about it in there? Are you coming out?

Look, it doesn't matter how the police find out.

They're out there now.

Now, why don't you do the sensible thing and give yourselves up?

What, are you kidding?

I'm running this show. I'm running this show, not the cops.

And I got something they want.

Hostages.

Ollie, and if we get it, you get it too.

Hey,

Victor's a disaster.

What, the 99 -cent store burnt down again?

That's not funny.

Man, I'm going over my frequent flyer statements, right? It says all of my

expire in four days.

Call 911, man. This is an emergency.

Hey, don't trivialize my pain.

Man, I spend a lot of money trying to earn 150 ,000 frequent flyer miles.

No, no, no.

Just calm down, man. I got it all under control.

And Monday and Tuesdays are flow nights, right? Yeah.

Let's just close the joint down and go to Vegas.

That sounds good.

But I still have enough miles for four more tickets.

We can take Nicolette, Doug, Leonard, part of our new employee incentive

program.

What was our old employee incentive program?

Work or get by.

That sounds good, but I still have enough miles for one more ticket.

I don't know, man. You might have to eat that.

It's not a joke

to form shops at theaters. I want to take Victoria shopping.

Who are you and what have you done with Malcolm McGee?

I realize that I appear to be parsimonious.

However... Cheap, Malcolm. The word is cheap.

However, there is a method to my madness.

See, I save my money for times like this. When I'm in a hot city with a

beautiful lady, I want to do it up in style.

Let's play some slots.

I'm ready.

Well, people, I'm going to hit the tables. I'm feeling lucky.

Good luck. Good luck, everybody.

Good luck.

Hey, Eddie, listen. I know you love Vegas, but you might want to think about

taking it slow this trip.

Michael, we live in Kansas City where it's always slow.

When you get to Vegas, man, you got to turn it up a notch.

Look, Ed, you and I both know you have an addictive personality.

Once you turn it on, you got a hard time turning it off.

Now, every man's got a dream, man. Don't take my dreams away from me, man.

All right, now, when your dream turns into a nightmare, don't come to me for

money. The Bank of Malcolm is closed for Y2K adjustments.

Fine, fine.

Remember, that goes both ways. Now, when I break the bank and I own this casino

and I'm driving in a Ferrari,

All right, I'll be careful. Thanks.

Dollar chips.

Good luck, sir.

I don't need no luck. I got skills.

If I should have told you about me, they're going to fire you for much

I'm going to tell you about it.