Original subtitles

Now the world don't move to the beat of just one drum. What might be right for

you may not be right for some.

A man is born, he's a man of means.

Then along come two, they got nothing but the genes. But they got different

strokes to take, different strokes to take, different strokes to move the

Everybody's got a special kind of story.

Everybody finds a way to shine.

It don't matter that you got not a lot. So what? I'll have theirs. You'll have

yours. And I'll have mine.

And together we'll be fine.

Different strokes to move the world. Different strokes to move the world.

spring vacation next week. Well, Arnold, me and my pal Vernon, him and me, we

are talking about going to baseball camp.

Willis, you left something out of that we, me.

And if that we don't include me, you got a bad we there.

Arnold, you can't come to baseball camp with us. You're too young. You got to be

at least 12 years old.

Maybe I can look older. I'll lower my...

taking me to some movies with you?

Arnold, go rent someone your own age to play with.

Okay, go to movies without me, but it'll cost you.

What do you mean?

Without me, you won't have anybody to buy you a half -priced ticket.

You'll have to go up to the box office on your knees.

Daddy, what are we going to do on our spring vacation?

Well, practically, I've been so busy, I haven't given it any thought.

I know what I'm going to do on my vacation.

I think I'll call...

Paul Newman, and ask him if he'd like to take me to Paris.

Paul Newman?

You're right. He's too old for me.

Maybe I'll give John Travolta a buzz.

Morning, everybody.

Morning,

Arnold.

Hey, I just got a great idea.

Why don't we all do something together on spring vacation?

That's a terrific idea.

That's great.

Hey,

where are we going to go?

as long as we're going together.

Arguing and yelling and shoving and overeating. That's my idea of a

Drummond Travel Service.

Why, it's just a little local humor operator.

Long distance?

Who's calling?

Larry Alder from Portland.

Why, put him on.

Who's he?

He's an old army buddy of mine. We're the craziest guys in the company.

Always together.

Buddies to the end.

When's the last time you saw him?

About 15 years ago.

But we keep in touch.

I have to. He still owes me four bucks.

Hey, Larry, you big lug.

How's the gold brick, Lieutenant?

Bill, you old son of a gun. How's my favorite insubordinate sergeant?

Couldn't be better.

I miss you.

Hey, where's that four bucks you owe me?

Operator, I got a bad connection.

You got it backwards, pal. You owe me the four bucks. I won the bet.

I remember the night we made the bet. I drank more martinis standing on my head

than you did.

Standing on your head?

Didn't the olives go up his nose?

Hey, Larry, you still got that radio show?

No, you have that radio show.

Congratulations on buying the station.

What? What station?

Where I work. That's why I called you. Aren't you one of the big mucky mucks of

Trans Allied Incorporated?

Well... Just a little mucky -muck.

I'm on the board.

Well, a little mucky -muck, your company just bought the station.

Really? I guess I better start staying awake at the meeting.

Yeah, why don't you get a belly dancer to read the minutes?

I knew we bought a conglomerate in Portland that owned a radio station.

As a matter of fact, I got the papers right here, but I didn't know it was the

station where you do your show.

Well, you're my boss now, pal, and I'm really looking forward to a happy and

long relationship.

Larry? Are the call letters on your station K -L -O -W?

Yeah, uh, K -Low.

The, uh, K is for K, and the low is for my salary.

Which I'd like to talk to you about.

Hey, come on, Phil, laugh it up a little. Your new employee just made it

Hmm? Oh, yeah.

Uh, Larry, it might not be a bad idea if I came out there to see what we bought.

Hey, that would be delightful, lovely, and deductible.

I'd love for you to meet my two kids, Diane and Ruthie.

Well, I'd love for you to meet my family. Maybe I'll bring my daughter and

two new sons with me.

New sons?

Did you get married again?

No, I'm not married.

Well, you old son of a... You're standing on your head drinking martinis

again, huh?

Hey, I'll explain it all when I see you.

Listen, this call must be costing you a fortune.

No, it's costing you. You own the station.

Well, I'll get in touch and let you know when I'm coming.

Thanks for calling, Larry.

Well, kids, our vacation problem may be solved.

I have to make a business trip to Portland, Oregon.

How would you all feel about coming along with me? You too, Mrs. Garrett.

I'd love to go.

It'll give me a chance to visit my sister Beverly. She's only an hour away.

Good. Excuse me, gang. I've got to go to my office.

What's it like in Portland, Mrs. Garrett?

Big pine forests and wide rivers.

And any minute you expect Jeanette McDonald and Nelson Eddy to come out

behind a tree singing in each other's face.

When I'm kind of...

Were they deaf?

No, I'll tell you what, kid. I won't try to explain Jeanette Nelson to you, and

don't you try to explain Alice Cooper to me.

What's it like in Portland?

Oh, you can do all sorts of things there. You can camp, fish, hike,

want. And there's no pollution like here in New York. You breathe clean air.

Clean air?

Won't that scare our lungs?

Man, it'd be weird breathing what you can't see.

Oh, Daddy, we're all so excited about going to Portland.

Yeah, I'm excited, too. You don't look excited.

Maybe you got a problem with your excitement.

Daddy, what's the matter?

I'm afraid maybe I do have a problem.

My company did buy the radio station where my friend Larry works, and we've

to make a very big decision about that.

What is it, Mr. Drummond?

Well, we need to make the station more efficient, automated.

That means replacing people with machines. Here I am going to visit a guy

think the world of.

I'd hate to have to tell him he's going to be out of a job.

Isn't there anything you can do about it?

Well, it's not for sure yet.

We're waiting for our computer to analyze some data and help us make a

on it.

You know, that'd be terrible if you had to fire an old friend.

I feel sorry for him.

So do I, Arnold.

Mr. D, before you give your friend the axe, maybe you better get your four

back.

you, dear.

I'll be even more terrific when I learn to swim upstream.

I'm afraid I have to throw you back, though. Why?

You're too small.

Oh, you sure know how to sweet -talk a salmon.

Hello, Lou.

It's the creature from the Black Lagoon.

Looks like I'll need a harpoon for this one, Arnold.

Got everything I need to go to Portland.

Got my water... skis my diving suit my snorkel and my flippers you only need

more thing what's that you need to learn how to swim come on blood you know i

know how to swim good now

It's a bikini.

You look darling, Kimberly. Thank you, Mrs. Garrett.

Hey, listen, gang, I... Say, that's a nice bathing suit you're almost wearing.

Well, it was a choice between this and a one -piece.

Well, I'm glad you took both pieces.

Hey, look, kids, we're all set.

There are the tickets to Portland.

Hooray! How far is Portland from here, Mr. D? It's about 3 ,000 miles.

3 ,000...

months to get there? No, Arnold.

It'll take about five hours.

Five hours?

What kind of train are we going on?

Oh, we're not going on a train. They got jet buses now?

Arnold, we're going to fly.

What are you talking about, Mr. D?

I said we're going to fly there. That's the quickest way.

Then leave me your address and I'll look you up when I get there.

Oh, now, why do you say that, Arnold? What's the matter? You can't do that to

us, Arnold. I'm not flying.

I'm not flying.

Ow! We don't have time to get there any other way.

We have to take a plane.

I say no way, no how, no time, and no chance.

Get the picture?

I don't

understand, Arnold.

Why are you afraid to fly?

I got to be eight without going up in a plane, and I don't want to fool around

with success.

Come on, Arnold.

You know I've never been up in a plane either, but I'm looking forward to it.

Arnold, I've been up in a plane lots of times. It's nothing.

That's what worries me.

Nothing is holding that plane up.

Of course something is holding it up. Certainly.

It's aerodynamics.

It's a combination of thrust, lift, wind, speed, and gravity.

Yeah. but what holds it up?

Arnold, you know, I think you're a chicken.

Maybe I am, but you never heard of a chicken bailing out at 20 ,000 feet.

Arnold, I never knew you felt this way about airplanes.

I don't want anything to do with anything that flies.

If I was a bird, I'd walk south for the winter.

Oh, Arnold, you gotta fly. All right, now, come on, hold it, hold it. Now,

listen, everybody.

We're not gonna force this on Arnold.

We have to consider his feelings, too.

That's right. Come on. So we won't say any more about it. Okay.

Your bikini is adorable.

They have them in your size, Mrs. Garrett. Oh, really?

Listen, Arnold.

I don't want to bug you about it, but I've seen lots of movies, and flying is

different from riding in a bus.

Will you not buy me again?

I mean it.

When you get on the plane, you just keep saying to yourself, I'm riding in a

bus. I'm riding in a bus.

What happens when I have to get off at 125th Street?

Now, come on, Arnold.

This fear you're building up is all in your mind.

No, a lot of it has leaked down into my body.

I really tried to get Arnold to change his mind, Mr. D., but it didn't work.

Well, gang, if he won't fly, I guess we're just going to have to call off the

trip.

No, Mr. Drummond, I'll stay here with Arnold.

No, he's my brother.

I'll stay and give up my vacation.

Oh, no, Willa. He's my little brother, too.

You go and have a good time, and I'll stay here with Arnold.

Well, if you're both staying, so am I.

Well, I guess I really do have to go for a few days.

My friend Larry may be losing his job, and I don't want him to feel that I'm

ducking out on him.

Don't you worry, Mr. Drummond. The kids and I will have a terrific time

together.

I heard you.

Bud has given it some heavy thought.

Well...

So I changed my mind.

Because I had to fly to Portland.

But I want Willis to hold my hand. You've got to.

And I want Mr. Drummond to hold my hand. Of course.

And I want Kimberly and Miss Garrett to hold my hand.

All of you ran out of hands.

They can hold my feet.

You're very brave to make the sacrifice for the rest of us.

No, that's okay.

But first I gotta do something. What's that?

Make out my last will and tenement.

Come on, Dad. Sit down and relax.

Are you happy now?

Yeah. Good.

What are you so nervous about anyway?

You said Mr. Drummond's a terrific guy.

Well, of course he's a terrific guy.

Honey, I just haven't seen him in 15 years.

Could be very embarrassing.

He may have more hair than me.

Or worse, my pot belly might be bigger than his.

He'll probably turn out to be bald, fat.

Snuggly.

Yeah, but when you're rich, who cares?

He's really a great guy.

See, we've had this running battle going on for years.

He owes me $4, but he says I owe him $4.

Why don't you pay him?

I suppose you're too old to be left on a doorstep.

Flight 23 from New York now unloading passengers at gate 37A.

Did she say gate 37A?

That's right.

Then why are we waiting at gate 37B?

I think it's perfectly obvious why.

We're at the wrong gate.

Oh, Ruthie, you better wait here for them. Why should I wait at the wrong

I don't trust airports.

I still got luggage in Bangkok.

People are scared, but not me.

There's no time to be scared.

Either eating or going to the bathroom.

Are you traveling alone?

Mm -mm. I'm with my family.

They're not off the plane yet.

Well, how'd you get off so fast?

It's easy when you can walk under people's legs.

Do you have any brothers or sisters?

One of each. They're here somewhere.

Also, my father and Miss Garrett are housekeepers.

Father and a housekeeper?

Mm -hmm.

Is your father's name Mr. Drummond?

That's right.

Hey, see, I didn't know he was black.

I didn't either, and I sat next to him on the floor.

My father's name is Larry Alder. I'm Ruthie.

Hi, I'm Arnold.

Hi.

Daddy's freaked out. He can't find them. I found one of them. This is Arnold,

Mr. Drummond's son. This is my sister, Diane.

Howdy. Hi.

You're Mr. Drummond's son?

Mm -hmm.

I'm black, and so is my brother. Mr. Drummond's white, and so is my sister.

That's the way it works out at our house.

Oh, here they are.

Gee, Arnold, you really have a colorful family.

Black, white. Right now, they all look green.

It was a bumpy flight.

Some people can't handle flying.

Excuse me.

Mr. Drummond, here is Ruthie and Diane. Ruthie and Diane, this is my family. Hi,

Ruthie and Diane. Nice to meet you all.

I'm sorry.

Excuse me.

I can't find them. Maybe they missed their flight. Hi, Phil. I mean, I've

everywhere.

Sarge, you old...

Son of a gun. You great big lug.

Son of a gun. Son of a gun.

Lieutenant Sartre.

Son of a gun.

Big lug.

You look great.

So do you.

Where's my $4?

I'd like you to meet my daughters. Oh, I met them. They're lovely.

Hey, I want you to meet my family.

This is my daughter, Kimberly, my son, Willis, and my son, Arnold.

Hi. Hi.

If I'm not saying anything, it's because I'm trying to think of something clever

to say cleverly.

Better hurry. We've only got a week.

Oh, we lived with Mr. D. ever since our mama died.

Oh.

Well, you couldn't have picked a better father.

Hold it, taxi.

Well, I'm all set for Seattle.

Miss Garrett, this is my friend Larry and his two daughters. How do you do,

Hello, girl.

Well, I guess this is a little goodbye.

Don't forget to change your socks.

And your underwear.

Your underwear. Is she talking to you or the kids? Me.

Well, kids, let's get our luggage. We're going to taxi to our hotel.

Wait, wait, wait.

What taxi? What hotel?

I'm driving, and you're going to stay with us.

I haven't seen you in 15 years.

Besides, my rates are cheaper.

If it's okay with Mr. Drummond and Kimberly, she could stay with me at my

Janet's house. Hey, thanks a lot, Diane. That sounds like fun.

Hey, Albert, is it okay with Janet? Why not? She stayed with us last week.

She did?

I was wondering why one of you suddenly had glasses and a big nose.

Dad, that's a terrible joke.

Lady, he's on Miss D's joke.

Mr. Philip Drummond, Mr.

Philip Drummond, please pick up the courtesy telephone.

Hey, that's us, Mr. D.

How'd they know we were here?

Well, my office knows my schedule, Arnold.

See how important my new boss is, girls?

Wherever he goes, they page him.

Oh, yeah, like you used to do, Daddy.

Remember when you had yourself paid in that restaurant?

Oh, this is Philip Drummond, operator.

Yeah, put him on, please.

Hi, Eddie.

Yeah. Are you sure?

Oh, boy. Well, if you need to get in touch with me, I'll be at my friend

Alder's place.

Yeah, my secretary has the number.

Okay, bye.

What's the matter, Mr. D?

Well, you remember that computer readout I told you kids about?

Well, it came through.

Bad news.

Recommends for automation.

Poor Mr.

Alder.

It's going to get automated right out of his behind.

Some vacation.

I'll be a house guest of a man who got a fire.

Now the world don't move to the beat of just one drum. What might be right for

you may not be right for some. One man is born, he's a man of means.

Then along come two, they got nothing but the genes.

But they got different strokes to take, different strokes to take, different

strokes to move the world.