Original subtitles

Now the world don't move to the beat of just one drum. What might be right for

you may not be right for some.

A man is born, he's a man of means.

Then along come two, they got nothing but the genes. But they got different

strokes to take, different strokes to take, different strokes to move the

Everybody's got a special kind of story.

Everybody finds a way to shine.

We don't matter that you got not a lot. So what? I'll have theirs, you'll have

yours, and I'll have mine.

And together we'll be fine. Because it takes different strokes to move the

world. Yes, it does. It takes different strokes to move the world.

I'm sorry, Mrs. Garrett. I didn't mean to startle you.

Oh, Mr. Drummond, it's very dangerous to sneak up behind me.

I'm going to karate class, and I just got an A in kicking where it hurts.

Hey, it's these thick carpets. I once lost a small lawyer in this room.

I love a little joke.

When they're that little, they need a lot of love.

The boys will be here any minute.

The boys... The boys will be here any minute.

Is there room ready yet?

Oh, yes, sir. There's just one thing left to do. What's that?

I quit.

Quit? Oh, no.

Oh, please, I promise I'll never scare you again.

I'll wear a bell around my neck.

When you hired me yesterday, you said you had one 13 -year -old daughter.

You didn't say anything about two boys coming to live here. I don't do windows,

and I don't do boys.

Well, what have you got against boys?

They bite.

I'll buy you a tetanus shot.

Okay, okay.

So I did overlook a little thing like two boys.

Please, Mrs. Garrett, they're orphans.

Please help me make them feel at home here.

I hardly know them.

Orphans? From Harlem.

Harlem? Yes.

Their mother was my housekeeper for many years.

A sweet, wonderful woman.

She was like a member of the family.

On her deathbed, she asked me to look after her two boys.

They have no relatives that can take them in.

Are you trying to make me feel rotten?

Yes, I am.

You're doing a great job.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

You see, they're two innocent, sweet, helpless little boys.

All right, all right.

I've been fucked in.

They're here.

I'll get it. I'll do it. I'm very good with doors.

You're here.

Welcome, gentlemen.

You're talking to us? Of course.

can't play basketball.

You've got a sense of humor like your mother.

I loved her very much.

You know, without a sense of humor, people are dull and boring and... Oh,

Drummond, can I give you a hand with the boy?

Fellas, this is Mrs. Garrett, our housekeeper. This is Willis and Arnold

Jackson.

up to their room and I'll show them around.

Be glad to. Here, let me have this, dear. Be careful of my goldfish. His

Abraham.

I've never seen a black goldfish before.

That's okay. He never saw a rich white man before either.

that just blew in is my daughter, Kimberly.

This is Arnold, and this is Willis. Kimberly.

Hi there.

Hi. Hi, metal mouth.

Oh, Daddy, isn't this delicious?

We've just met, and already he's insulting me like a real brother.

By the way, guys, stay out of my room, or I'll punch you out.

She's not kidding.

When she was six days old, she gave the boy in the next crib a fat lip.

reach up, belt her in her knees.

Hey, I'm so darn glad to have you fellas here, I can't tell you.

Well, what do you think of your big new house?

Got big places in Harlem, too.

Yeah, but they're all falling down.

Hey, come here, boys. I want to show you something. What?

I want to show you the view from up here.

I've got a surprise for you.

Look, you can see the whole city from here.

We're on the 30th floor.

Level up so high you can't even smell the garbage.

I never smelled the garbage in Harlem.

You better check your smell, fella.

This is my kind of pad.

I'm glad, Arnold.

It's my kind of pad, too.

Look at that view, Willis. On a clear day, you can see New Jersey. Not that

anyone would want it.

You know something, Arnold?

That chair you're sitting in is 200 years old.

With all your money, can you afford to buy a new one?

No, it's an antique. See, the older it gets, the more it's worth.

Well, we were sitting on a fortune in Harlem, and we never knew it.

Boys, listen.

I am going to open up a whole...

I'm going to see that you had the same advantages that I had growing up.

You're going to go to the best schools, the finest colleges, where you can learn

about things like art and music.

Rembrandt, Van Gogh, Chopin.

They're all dead, Dodo Head.

What killed them?

Well, they lived a very long time ago.

In other words, you don't know what killed them.

Look, Mr. Drummond.

You done a nice thing promising Mama you'd take care of us. But Arnold and me

ain't gonna take no charity.

Hey, I am not offering charity.

You get no free lunch here.

You mean we gotta pay for our eats?

No, I mean you're gonna have to work for it.

You're gonna have to go to school, study hard, and become solid citizens.

Do we get time off for good behavior?

No.

Come on, I want to show you your room.

And my hot tub.

You stole it.

slip into the tub and it eases away my tension.

How much bread do you lay out for this wash tub?

About $4 ,000.

No wonder you got tension.

It's worth every cent to have a place where you can think about life and

reflect, soak away your troubles, and make important decisions.

Well, you're going in that thing.

Of course he is.

Nobody speaks for me but me.

And when he speaks, nobody listens.

Except for me.

Come on, guys. I want to show you the way to your room.

Willis!

Oh, you little... Well,

here it is, boys.

How do you like it?

This is better than anything I ever saw in a Brady Bunch.

Willis, you take the top. Arnold, you sleep in the lower bunk.

You keep telling us what to do all the time.

Don't you think we have any brains?

I'm sorry, Willis. I guess I just committed another faux pas.

You did what for your pa?

No, Arnold.

That's French for I blew it.

Arnold, you sleep up top.

Okay, Willis. But just don't go drinking the water before bedtime.

I don't want no accidents.

Oh, breathing up.

Arnold, there's a handy ladder here for you to make it easy. A handy ladder?

Stand back, everybody.

Here comes Arnold.

Hey,

hey, what's wrong with using the ladder, Arnold? That's what it's for.

He's got to learn to do things for himself.

Okay.

I think I tried a fosbury flop.

See?

It was nothing.

Nice climbing, Arnold.

I'll get your flag to plant up there.

Boy, you guys are a tough audience.

But I sure am glad to have you both here.

You know something?

always wanted a son.

And now I got two of them.

I'm a very lucky man.

Okay, guys, I'm gonna leave you alone to unpack.

this place. What you talking about, Willis?

I don't know. It ain't us that died and went to heaven.

It's Mama and Papa.

I'm sorry, Willis.

I don't know. We don't belong in this place.

Trump ain't our people, and we ain't staying here.

But Willis, how many kids like us got a chance like this?

Don't you realize we have everything going for us now?

Forget it.

Come seven...

Me going back to Harlem, we belong.

Skin transplant.

Hair transplant's what you need.

Willis, if I lose my head, there goes all the brains we got between us.

I'm not comfortable here, living in a place with 200 -year -old chairs.

Suppose I sit on one and it breaks.

Willis, you heard the man.

The older it gets, the more it's worth.

He'll probably break...

You forgot to take a number.

Going back to Harlem and back, that.

Where we gonna live in Harlem?

With the Thomas?

Yeah, eight people, one room, one bathroom.

We could get killed in the stampede.

Arnold, after Papa died, who was it that looked after you while Mama worked?

You did, Willie.

Well, now I'm your Mama and your Papa.

tomorrow morning, we split.

Can't we split after breakfast?

No. Well, I know you're my brother and I do what you say, but I got feelings

about things, too. I think you're wrong.

Well, just don't go spilling to anybody that we're leaving tomorrow, or you

won't even get dinner tonight.

Fellas, I got some great news.

I just managed to get tickets for the circus 8 o 'clock tomorrow night. Hey,

that's real! You can't go.

Why not?

got a rep.

I do?

Yeah.

You got tired blood.

Now, that's no excuse. I've got tired blood, too.

Yeah, he goes to sleep an hour before I do.

Any chance to end that circus at a different time?

Well, what time would you prefer?

How about 6 o 'clock tomorrow morning?

Now, Arnold, you know that that's impossible.

Well, we'll just have to do it another time. Anyway, Saturday night, we have

tickets to the Knicks -Lakers basketball game. You can't go to that either.

Unless that's at 6 o 'clock in the morning.

Say, now, we've got to go to our friend's birthday party.

Which friend is that, Willis? The one with the birthday.

Yeah, that's him, all right.

I get the impression you're going to turn down every suggestion I make before

can even suggest it.

But I'm still going to make one final suggestion.

What's that?

That you reconsider my other two suggestions.

Mrs. Harris, if I told you that Arnold and Willis turned down a chance to see

the circus and a Knicks -Lakers basketball game, what would you say?

I'd say, I'm available for both events.

You know something?

I have a feeling that my new tenants are planning to leave.

I guess I just haven't been able to make them feel like they're part of the

family. Well, may I suggest something, sir? Oh, please do.

The way to do it is to have a little fun with them.

Family fun.

In my family, fun was sitting around counting our money.

I never had any fun until I was old enough to count it.

You keep laughing like that and you'll get another raise.

Oh, well.

I'll tell you.

Our family fun was entertaining each other, like after dinner, someone sing

someone do something else, and then I'd dance ballet in my little tutu.

Say, there's a thought.

Forget it.

My tutu has turned into a tutu by four -fourths.

You're giving me a good idea.

I got a terrific way to surprise the boys tonight. Get Kimberly, and I'm

to tell you both what I'm going to do.

Yes. Oh,

that's what I call an excellent meal. I can't wait to get rid of these dumb

braces. I'm tired of making sparks with my fork.

Willis, where are you going?

To our room.

Come on, Arnold.

Oh, you don't want to miss family fun time.

Family fun time?

What channel's that on?

That's an old drumming tradition.

We all get together after dinner and we have fun entertaining each other. Oh,

leave that for now, Mrs. Garrett. It's family fun time.

Here come the clowns.

Please, be seated.

Thank you.

And now, ladies and gentlemen, you're about to be entertained by the world's

greatest magician, the great Ndramondo.

Young man, would you please be my assistant?

Sure.

A $10 bill, which in some countries is worth as much as 65 cents.

I'm going to make the $10 bill disappear.

Abracadabra, abracadabra.

It is gone.

Oh, come on.

Arnold took it. That ain't no trick. Oh, yes, it is. The trick is to get the $10

back from Arnold.

Watch for the great Dramondo.

All right, Mrs. Garrett, you're next. What are you going to do for us? Oh,

I never know till the spotlight hits me.

be for you.

Mr. Drummond, you bought a lot of nice toys.

But you can't buy us.

I'm not trying to buy you.

I'm just trying to make you feel at home.

Come on, Arnold.

We're still leaving in the morning.

Arnold, you don't really want to leave, do you?

No, but I got it. Without me, we're nothing.

Something I want to say to you.

You didn't even give yourself a chance to get to know us.

The only thing I'm guilty of is trying to make you and your brother feel at

home. Yeah.

Mr. Drummond's Santa Claus.

And you're treating him like our old landlord.

Toys and money ain't family.

That's right, Willis.

Toys and money ain't family.

Family is love and caring.

Maybe I overdid it.

But I did it because I cared about your mother.

And now I care about you.

But caring has to be a two -way proposition.

And you're not even willing to meet us halfway.

The worst part of it is you're only thinking about yourself.

You're not even considering your brother.

You're just being selfish, Willis.

Not worse than a raspberry.

What you talking about?

We're here because before Mama died, she asked Mr. Drummond to take care of us.

Do you think she'd send us to live with somebody who didn't want us?

I do what you tell me to do, Willis, but you've been a sourpuss from the minute

we got here.

Mr. Drummond's right.

You're not being fair to me or you or him or Mama.

Sitting here soaking and thinking.

Does that mean I can say, welcome a boy, son?

Yeah.

I got it right this time. Yeah, you did.

This tub works pretty good, doesn't it? Yeah.

See, we can all learn something from each other.

I wasn't trying or thinking of Arlem.

I can't tell you how proud I am of you and how glad I am that you're staying,

Willis. Yeah, but just remember, Mr. Thomas, that front door is always open.

Every time I want to leave.

That's right, Willis.

Arlem is just a limousine right away.