Original subtitles

It's been four weeks since we time -flipped. The crew is getting more and

distracted by our awakened emotions.

Dr. Stryker has recommended that every crew member undergoes a psychological

evaluation to explore these latent feelings. The only thing is, who's to

doctor's not the craziest one of us all?

Silly.

Hello,

Commander.

I don't suppose you see my little furry animal?

So how long have you had this craving for chocolate, Captain?

I don't really want to talk about it, Doctor. It's just so, so... Smooth,

delicious?

Smooth, hard, delicious, addictive. It's like, I don't know, I just can't even

get enough of it.

Really? Oh, sorry. I was thinking about something else. So it's addictively

chocolatey. Exactly.

What's going to happen to me, Doctor?

Am I going to end up some lonely woman sitting in my room, eating my way

the ship's chocolate supply until I explode?

No, no. As you said, you're obviously not getting enough.

You must have it when you want it. And then the more you have, the less you'll

want. Hmm.

You know...

I could solve two of my problems if I had a man made out of chocolate.

Well, not if he melts before you... Right, it's up.

Time, that is.

Now, you need to sculpt a man out of chocolate, keep your room temperature

and forget about counting calories.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go over Nurse Beach.

No, I have to go over these reports with Nurse Beach.

Page one.

It's fun, but we've got to move on.

Move on to a higher level.

But we can't. We're on the bridge.

Yeah, that's right.

Hopper, are you a complete idiot or do you just enjoy torturing those women?

What? You see what she would like?

Too possessive.

Schmuck.

Captain, I need to speak with you. Now.

Yeah, now's a good time. Sally, your place or mine?

I'm on my way up, Captain.

Hello, Captain.

What is it, computer?

I've detected a fast -moving ship.

What is it, Dottie? A Class 2 biker from our time period.

Only one crew member on board. We're going to have to move fast to catch it.

Proper track it and intercept.

Aye, aye, Captain.

What if it goes to quantum speed before we can intercept?

Then we track it and follow. It can run, but it can't hide.

Dottie, follow that biker.

We're on to it, Captain.

Bridge. How about a blackjack?

Bridge. How about street poker?

Listen, if you don't take me to the bridge right now, I'm going to rip out

hard drive, tear open your flanges, and step all over your floppy... inflated

calculator. Aren't we obsessed with inflatable calculators?

Don't touch it like that. You'll blow my matrix.

Oh, will I?

Oh, really?

Sorry.

Maybe this will help.

Okay, the Bridget Hill.

You need to get a grip, young lady.

I'm glad I didn't have to hold her.

Ah, poppy top off. What took you so long? Sorry, Captain. It was a bit of a

wrench.

But I'm here now.

I'm forever blowing... The Utah?

Or especially for Simon. I'm warning you, you piece of... Knock it off,

computer. Oh, very well.

Someone sabotaged the Molliport. Good thing it wasn't the tuna. Can you fix

Of course I can, Mom. But it may take some time, and I don't know about you,

I'd like to know who sabotaged it.

Wolf. Maybe that's something that you could sink your teeth into?

Don't tempt me.

Ox can find out who it was, and I'll interrogate them after I've blown up

viper. Whoa!

I'll take the stairs.

The lift's a little, well, uppity.

The bathroom's accelerating, Captain.

Can we intercept?

Negative, Captain.

Too late. It's hit quantum speed. Well, then hit quantum engines.

Aye, aye, Captain.

Where are we?

We are at the location formerly known as the Pandora system.

Pandora. Pandora, Pandora, Pandora.

Didn't we destroy them?

Yes, we did, Captain.

But if it's still here and they're alive and not dead, then that means they

could escape. And then they could take over the world and we could die. And the

important thing is not to panic. The important thing is not to panic. The

important thing is not... Darling.

Better? Much. Thank you, Captain. Where was I?

Oh, doesn't it look simply polka -trudeness?

What?

Britain. Oh, right. Well, there's a mining colony, but what would the

want here?

That's what we're trying to find out.

Shall I form a tactical assault unit, Captain?

No, Woof. We have nothing to fear over a lone Reptid and a Viper, too. We must

be ready, Captain.

Woof is right.

Then I'm the Captain, okay?

Scan, Dotty.

Dotty, I said scan, not scat. Sorry, Captain.

Thank you.

Computer. Our shields are down.

Hologram, what is going on around here?

Sabotage, Captain.

But you might like to reflect upon what I suggested to you earlier.

That it might be better to replace the computer with me.

Thus giving you the time and opportunity to check out the computer's mainframe.

Oh no, I'm saying believe me. My mainframe is in perfect shape.

So are you suggesting that the computer is deliberately messing with herself?

Never, Belinda. I'm not that sort of computer.

It's a possibility, Captain. Unless we could be attacked at any moment, it may

be prudent to take note of my warning. Captain, there's another ship entering

the system on the same trajectory as ours.

Hologram dismissed.

Dottie, scan it. Is it from Earth?

A very, very old cargo vessel.

Quite extraordinary that it doesn't break up in the system's atmosphere.

Should we intercept, Captain? Should I now form a tactical assault unit,

Captain? No, not yet. Can I take a closer look, Wolf?

Bring it on screen, Dottie. Aye, Captain.

Cropper? Go down to engineering and give Sally the benefit of your experience.

Do I have to, Captain? She's just not my type.

I meant give her a hand, some help.

Dottie, bring it up on screen, please.

Commander Cropper's not such a bad guy.

A little dim, perhaps, even for a man.

Something about him.

So... Chief.

How... How long have you been standing there, Commander?

I've just got here. What are you here for?

I'm here for you.

Full speed ahead then, Commander.

But for the repairs, Sally.

I don't need help with the repairs, Commander.

I'm the engineering whiz kid, remember?

When I was four, I built a jet propulsion pack for my cat.

And there wasn't a dog on the block that could catch it.

Though you could say, Commander...

That I had the fuck to... Kitten on Earth.

Cropper to the bridge.

Thank you.

Well, promise me you'll come again, Commander.

Duty first, Chief.

The Captain needs my services.

Yes, of course.

What's coming from its rear?

Fat. Human fat. What? Fat.

Human fat. What? Fat?

Human fat.

It appears that they carry a cargo of it amongst themselves.

That is disgusting.

Woof. Go and prepare your assault unit now.

Yes, Captain.

Dottie, contact that cargo vessel. Aye, aye, Captain.

I am Captain Blowheart of the Dreadnought Nemesis.

Tell me your name, purpose, and cargo.

The name's Rogan.

And as for the rest...

Mind your own business, missy. I ask you again, what is your purpose in this

sector, and what is your cargo?

We see the Viper, and it appears to be closing in.

We shall speak again, Mr. Rogan. In the meantime, stay out of the way. This

fight is of no concern to you.

Target the Viper. Pulse cannon locked, Captain.

Incoming fire.

Fire. Evasive action, Donnie.

Molly the Wreck -Tit on board, Chief.

Chief, do we have the Wreck -Tit yet?

I think I may have something you want, Captain.

Would you like to trade? I told you not to get involved.

I'm a merchant, Captain.

I get what people want and I trade with them for it.

It's how I makes my living.

So, do you want this or not?

Okay, we'll do a deal.

You don't happen to have any real chocolate, do you?

Plain old milk. Swiss, Hershey, English, white chocolate nuts, caramel and

biscuit, fondant filling, honeycomb. I even have Belgian chocolate.

Oh.

Mm.

Um, okay.

We'll talk later.

Everything's under control, Captain.

Very good.

Mr. Rogan, you come with me. Leave your pet here.

Move.

Take the Reptid to the brig and interrogate him.

Riley spotted a strange substance in the molly port after our guests arrived.

She sent a sample to Dr. Stryker for analysis.

The computer's still acting up. Personally, I think she's been affected

stench of Rogan's aftershave.

Doctor?

Yes, computer?

That is not your quarter.

Really?

that you're a smuggler, Mr. Rogan. On many things, Captain Blowheart. And yes,

being a smuggler is one of them. But this trip is a fair trade with the

Human fat, I don't understand. Explain to me. The miners store them in tanks

below the surface where they grow by themselves with nothing added.

Just like in humans?

Yeah, like magic.

But how do you get them?

My alien worm friends down on Earth harvest them after the fatties are

If they didn't...

The glands would grow and grow until they explode, and then that would be

disgusting. We do not understand this.

Aren't the fat glands harmful to the miners?

What do they do with them? They make soup and spread it on dry biscuits.

Oh. My ancestors used to call it bread and scrape, and it never did them any

harm.

Tell me, Captain, are all the women in your family as beautiful as you?

Um, Mr. Rogan, you have something wriggling in your pocket.

It's one of my balls.

Tell me that you're not an alien, that you're human.

Don't worry, Belinda.

I'm all man.

No! No, no, Captain.

This is a Verubian hamster.

We don't want to touch one of these.

They only have one master.

May we ask why?

Let's just say they have a nasty bite for such a small creature.

And you would want to keep something like that in your trouser pocket?

It could strip your outfit.

I'm its master.

Besides, it enjoys the company.

Can I get something to eat around here, Captain?

How about some lunch below?

I'm sure I could rustle up a little bread and cream for you.

I'll show you the way.

In the meantime, you can tell me all about your chocolate connection.

Oh, perfect. Commander, you're in charge of the ship. Aye, aye, Captain.

Doctor, I have the results from the samples you asked me to run.

Now, it would appear the substance I found on the lower level was some kind

translucent skin pigmentation which went harsh due to translucent skin

pigmentation. Give me an eye.

Give me an eye.

Give me a K.

Give me an eye.

What does it smell?

Striker.

Doctor.

Are you lost?

Yes. Would you like us to take you to your captain?

Oh, please.

This way, then.

What's up, Wu?

Get into the midway.

This way.

Welcome to the Dance Academy, where we accept only the most talented and

dedicated of artists.

I am Madame Volenska, and right here is where you start paying.

In sweat.

You will both have two minutes each.

To dance for me.

You better use it wisely.

You. You can go first, handsome.

So, can't we come to some sort of agreement in regards to this chocolate?

What do you have in mind, Captain?

Well... I do have a very special brew of fleech on board. We use it to clean the

quantum engines. I think you call it alcohol.

Oh.

I thought you were offering something else there, Captain.

Well, um, I have some diamond salt crystals. Those must be worth something.

How about one night of passion with you for the entire cargo of chocolate on

board my ship?

Well, I'm really not that desperate for chocolate.

I believe we can come to a mutual agreement.

I told you, I'm not that kind of woman, Rogan.

If we can't come to an agreement, then I guess I'll just go interview the

reptid.

Well, in all the years that I have been dancing, I have never,

ever seen such a display of pathetic

artistic integrity.

I have never in my life had to endure two minutes of such utter torture before

you ever darken my doorstep again. Do yourself and me a favor.

Get some lessons.

And you, you have potential,

charm, animal magnetism.

Oh, I want to teach you. I want to know everything about where you learn.

You are the real thing.

Come with me.

What are you looking at?

And

I'm

feeling good.

Daddy,

what's going on? Are you malfunctioning again? Doctor, what is going on here?

God, I want you so bad!

Come right to me, Belinda.

Thank you.

Kind sir, I was wondering if you would do me the honor of dancing with me.

I do believe I'm next on your dance card, my dear.

Oh, delicious.

Don't worry, Chief.

There's plenty more men in the sea.

Can they truly match up to Commander Cropper?

Sally, is it?

Just the woman I wanted.

Really?

You wanted me?

From the moment I came aboard, I couldn't wait to be alone with you.

What do you mean?

I want you so badly.

Your body is so... Who cares? I just want to throw you down and rip off your

clothes. Yes, throw me down. Use me, batter me and make me yours.

Please be careful, I'm really looking forward to this.

Do you mind if we play some games?

Hey,

Rogan, next time... You can play the dumb animal, and I shall play with the

pretty girls, OK?

I thought we'd agreed, Logan, that it was easier for you to move around the

than me.

Hey, hey, hey.

I'll take this one with us.

She looks up to us. No,

don't stop playing with the props. Remember what we came here for.

Yeah, Logan runs here, Logan runs there. No fun. Will you stop moaning?

It's time to leave anyway.

The hallucinations won't last much longer.

Linda, I'm losing my grip.

Really?

For Linda, my darling.

I hope you don't mind, but I borrowed some of your supplies.

I've really enjoyed our first encounter.

Perhaps we'll meet again some time.

Au revoir, my darling.

We certainly will, you toad.

Thank you, Wolf.

We've been burgled, Captain.

I know, and I've been had.

I didn't even get to try Belgian chocolate.

Oh, yes, how's the sculpting of a chocolate man coming along, Captain?

Enough, Doctor. Whatever happened to Doctor Patient Privilege? Hello?

Besides, you gave me milk chocolate, not dark chocolate. I thought you liked

milk chocolate.

No, all the good bit keeps falling off.

She'll be coming round the mountain when she comes out.

She'll be coming round the mountain... I'm going down to the brig to go

interview. She'll be coming round the mountain when she comes out.

Why don't you be the host?

Thank you, Captain.

I shall now be examining the back of my eyelids.

Oh, great.

Here I was, looking forward to having a little chat with our reptile friend.

Well, won't you please get rid of this piece of crap?

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.