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[Dorothy] When I met him,

Mark Twain was already famous.

Recognized and loved by people all over the world.

I had read Life on the Mississippi,

A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court,

The Prince and the Pauper,

and, for the third time, Tom Sawyer.

Mark Twain was soon to become the most important person in my life.

But I didn't realize at the time

how much the friendship of an ordinary little girl

would mean to him.

[thunder rumbling]

[Mrs. Quick] Oh, that rain is awful.

We should never have come to London for our holiday.

This weather is terrible for your bronchitis, Dorothy.

Mother, I feel fine.

Now, now, you just sit right here

while I arrange for my theater ticket.

Yes, Mother.

[Twain] Concierge! My good man!

May I be of service, Mr. Twain?

I hope so.

I am baffled by this thing.

What's it supposed to be?

An ashtray, sir.

Is that right?

Well, that's a mathematical impossibility.

And a fire hazard to boot.

I see the problem.

I shall have something else sent up right away, sir.

[Twain] Good.

I make it a lifelong practice

never to smoke when I'm asleep,

and never to refrain when awake.

The secret of my longevity.

Dorothy.

Mother...

do you know who that was?

Oh, have you been out?

Ninety-six seconds.

If this is as good a hotel as it purports to be,

they'll be up here inside of three minutes.

[knock on door]

One minute, 42 seconds.

[laughs] Albert,

this is what I call a four-star hotel.

Here you are, Mr. Twain, sir.

Hope this will suffice.

[Twain] It will.

And I thought you might like the morning paper, sir.

You're the front-page news.

Oh, yeah? Well, what's the matter?

Don't you people have any wars or crimes or scandals over here?

No, sir.

I mean, yes, sir.

Well... here you are.

Thank you, sir.

But if it isn't too much trouble,

I'd rather shake the hand of Mark Twain.

Oh. Hm.

-What's your name? -Monahan, sir. Patrick.

Clemens, Sam. Glad to meet you.

Thank you. Thank you, Mr. Clemens, sir.

-Yeah. -Thank you.

[door closes]

Would you like to get some more work done?

Tell me about the steamship captain.

That's great material for the biography.

Look at that headline.

"Mark Twain arrives in England, Ascot Cup stolen." Ha!

[subdued chatter]

-[Twain] Ah... -[Maitre'd] How are you this evening?

[applause]

[Twain] Hello, there.

It's 7:30, ma'am.

Oh, my goodness. I hadn't realized.

Up you go, Dorothy. To bed.

The play begins in half an hour.

Mother, Mr. Twain just got here.

Can't I stay just a little longer?

[Mrs. Quick] No, no, no. Go on, now.

Bedtime is 8:00,

and I must get to the theater on time.

-Good night, Mother. -Good night, dear.

[Albert] What would you feel like?

You know, Albert, my wife Livvy

used to sing this song to the children when they were young.

Such good times we had.

Sometimes we laughed so hard it'd hurt,

and we couldn't catch our breath.

Can't remember the last time I laughed that hard.

Are you excited about tomorrow?

Well, I'm just afraid that Oxford is going to realize

the enormity of their mistake and call the whole thing off.

[man] I give you Dr. Samuel Langhorne Clemens--

Mark Twain.

[cheers and applause]

Most admirable and charming sir,

you shake the sides of the whole world

with your merriment.

[Twain] Thank you.

[applause]

Well, I expect most of you

read the headline in the newspaper yesterday.

"Mark Twain Arrives," "Ascot Cup Stolen."

-[all laugh] -No doubt many a person

was misled by those sentences joined together

in that unkind way.

I can tell you here and now I never saw that cup.

Somebody else snatched it before I had a chance to.

-[laughter] -A few years ago,

it pleased me beyond measure when Missouri University

made me a Doctor of Laws,

because I know absolutely nothing about laws

except how to evade them and not get caught.

-[laughter] -Now today at Oxford,

I'm being made a Doctor of Letters.

All pure profit...

because what I don't know about letters

would make me a multimillionaire if I could turn it into cash.

You look tired.

No one should have to give so many speeches in one day.

I'm getting old, Albert.

The last time Livvy and I were in England...

in a room very much like this one...

we got the cable that our dearest child Susy...

had died suddenly at home.

She was 24.

It still amazes me.

It's one of the mysteries of our natures.

What is?

That a man all unprepared...

could receive a thunderstroke like that and live.

She was such a...

sweet and serious little girl.

How I wish I paid more attention to Susy and Clara and Jean

when they were young.

But we're always too busy for our children.

We lavish gifts upon them

and praise them in their absence.

But the most precious gift, our time and attention,

which means so much to them,

we give grudgingly...

and then throw it away on others that don't really matter.

Then one day,

there comes a time when you want your child's company...

[choking up] more than...

more than... more than anything in the world...

but it's too late.

You get some sleep now.

Things will seem brighter

when we set sail for home in the morning.

Albert?

I'm going to give you two more years.

Two years to finish your research for my biography.

Why only two? You'll live to be a hundred.

No.

I came in with Halley's Comet in 1835.

It's coming again in a couple of years,

and I expect to go out with it.

It'll be the greatest disappointment of my life

if I don't.

[foghorn blows]

[Twain coughing]

I believe where I've hit upon the best way

for you to compile your notes for my biography.

It came to me during the night.

It is the pen that makes things so difficult and time-consuming.

I plan to hire a secretary

that can do this new shorthand writin',

and she can write it down later,

and you can edit it.

-[Albert] Good idea. -[Twain] Yeah.

[Albert] I'm going to go below and do some work.

-Are you coming? -Nah, you go on. I like the air.

All right. But if it turns cold...

you come out of the wind.

You're getting to be an old woman, Albert.

Don't you worry.

I'm too much of an egotist to die

before you finish my biography.

Yeah. [groans]

Hello, madam. How are you?

[indistinct chatter]

Excuse me, young lady.

But I don't seem to remember your name.

But you've never met me before, Mr. Twain.

Well, that's true, now that you point it out.

That's certainly true.

That must be one of the reasons why I've forgotten your name.

[chuckles] Oh, but I remember it now.

It's Mary.

No, it isn't. It's Dorothy.

Ha! Well...

a few years ago I wouldn't have made that mistake.

You know, when I was young I could remember anything,

whether it happened or not.

[laughs] But old age is creeping up on me.

But I remember now.

It is Dorothy McGillicuddy.

No, it isn't.

It's Dorothy Quick.

Oh, I'm ashamed of myself.

Dorothy Quick.

Of course.

How old are you, dear?

Eleven. Eleven in a month.

What are you reading?

Tom Sawyer. It's very good.

Oh!

Have you read any of my others?

Almost every one.

[laughing] Oh! Eleven in a month!

Oh! Extremely intelligent

[chuckles]

Yeah, it seems to me

that we are perfectly matched for this occasion.

I like young ladies dressed in white.

I hope you will always wear white

whenever we stroll the deck together.

-I will. -[laughs]

[woman] Mr. Twain!

Mr. Twain!

Oh, Mr. Twain, I've been looking for you everywhere.

Four members of the Weehawken ladies' reading club are here.

Girls, look who's here!

Ah! Would you autograph my copy of Huckleberry Finn?

Why, I-I'd be delighted.

We all have questions we're just dying to ask you.

What is your name, madam?

Arabella.

What a musical name.

Arabella.

I must give this some serious thought.

The perfect inscription for Arabella.

[chuckles]

Let me hold on to this a while.

Of course.

Wonderful.

Girls!

Let's go.

[Arabella] Look who I found!

He's going to autograph my book.

Mr. Twain?

Come back.

Where could he have gone?

Mr. Twain!

[Twain] Come on.

Yeah. This way, this way.

[Arabella] Come back, Mr. Twain! Come back!

[indistinct chattering]

[gasps]

That's him, straight ahead.

Hurry, ladies, hurry.

Mr. Twain! Mr. Twain!

[woman] We lost him.

[laughs]

[giggles]

Oh, I haven't done this kind of thing in years.

I've never done this kind of thing.

-[sighs] -Won't we get in trouble?

Nah. I don't think so.

I'm famous, I'm old, and I'm a writer.

They expect these eccentricities.

Now, I believe you were about to tell me

why Tom Sawyer's your favorite book.

I like it because Tom and Huck were such good friends.

I've never had a friend like that.

-Not one? -No.

And the adventures they had, and the trouble they got into.

Fishing, and rafting, and exploring caves,

and playing pirates,

sneaking into graveyards in the middle of the night.

[laughs]

Say...

have you read this one?

[Dorothy] Not yet. I was saving it.

Oh, well, read it. It's my favorite.

Don't you think the lady will want it back?

Don't you worry, dear.

I'll make it up to her on the inscription.

[steam whistle blows]

Oh, no.

Mother will be furious with me.

Oh, you're traveling with your parents?

Just my mother.

My father died when I was a child.

I'm sorry.

You know, I lost my own father when I was just about your age.

Come on, here we go.

[sighs] Yeah.

Say, maybe tomorrow

we could play some of those horse billiards.

-Shuffleboard? -Yeah.

-I would love to. -[chuckles]

Goodbye.

Bye.

Yeah.

[sighs] Yeah.

[knock on door]

[gasps] Mr. Twain!

Dorothy told me that she had met you,

but what an unexpected...

I mean, what a delightful surprise.

I beg your pardon, but I came to ask Dorothy

if she could join me for dinner at the captain's table tonight.

But it completely escaped my memory

that children are in bed at 8:00.

I can get dressed again. Please, Mother?

And I haven't even introduced myself.

Mother, this is Mr. Clemens.

Mr. Clemens, my mother, Mrs. Quick.

-Such a pleasure. -I am sorry.

Can I, Mother? Just this once?

[Mrs. Quick] No, Dorothy.

I'm sorry, Mr. Clemens,

but it's just too late for Dorothy.

Does this leave you without a dinner companion?

It's all my fault.

It's been too many years

since my own daughters were in pigtails.

I'll see you tomorrow, Dorothy.

We'll go for our walk on the promenade deck.

All right.

Thank you for asking all the same.

Remember to wear white,

so I'll be sure to recognize you.

I will.

Good night, Mrs. Quick.

I apologize for the intrusion.

Maybe another time.

[Dorothy] Has the lady asked for her book back yet?

[Twain] Not yet, but I'm getting plenty of exercise

outrunning the Weehawken Ladies' Sprinting Society.

[laughs]

Tell me about yourself.

How do you get on in school?

Oh, I don't go to school.

I have chronic bronchitis,

so Mother keeps me at home with a private tutor.

You know, I had this bronchitis thing myself for years.

-You've got bronchitis too? -Yes.

And if you must be sick,

I suggest you try something else.

[chuckles]

Here, now have a peppermint.

Now, they're good for the bronchitis.

Thank you.

You know, shame about you having a tutor.

You're being deprived of one of life's greatest pleasures.

Going to school?

Unh-unh.

Playing hooky.

[Dorothy laughs]

[Twain] Well, not bad for your first time.

[Dorothy] I'm sure it's just beginner's luck.

Yeah. You always been so lucky?

Yesterday, I met the famous writer Mark Twain.

That was pretty lucky.

Yeah, I heard of him.

But lately, he's more famous for being famous

than for writing anything.

I think he's the best writer in the world.

Why, thank you, dearheart.

You know, I could live for two weeks on a compliment like that.

You are a very perceptive child.

-[chuckles] -Thank you.

Now, if you're as lucky as you claim,

I should make you my manager.

-You're teasing me. -No, I'm not.

Miss Quick, would you do me the honor

of becoming my business manager?

At least until the ship reaches New York.

-Really? -Absolutely.

What do I have to do?

Well, you're my manager,

whatever comes up... you manage it.

[knock on door]

Mrs. Quick, may we see your daughter?

Well, of course.

Please come in.

Miss Dorothy,

we came to ask your permission for Mark Twain to speak

at the ship's concert

for the benefit of the sailors' fund.

My permission?

We asked him directly, miss, but he said we had to ask you.

-That's right. -He said, "I never do anything

"unless my business manager says so.

Whatever Dorothy says, goes."

Oh.

Well...

in that case...

I hereby give my permission.

[indistinct chattering]

Good evening.

[band playing lively tune]

[applause]

Mother, look.

Tonight we are privileged,

thanks to the kind permission of Miss Dorothy Quick...

[applause]

...to present our most famous man of letters.

Now, I give you the man who warned us:

"When in doubt, tell the truth."

Mark Twain.

[applause]

Ladies...

gentlemen...

and Miss Dorothy.

I did say, "When in doubt, tell the truth."

But I invented that maxim for the benefit of others.

When in doubt myself,

I always try to use a little more sagacity.

[laughter]

Carlyle said, "A lie cannot live."

But that just goes to show he didn't know how to tell them.

[laughter]

[indistinct chattering]

[lively music playing]

Have you finished the book?

Yes. It was wonderful.

I'm afraid Tom Sawyer's not my favorite anymore.

[Arabella] Mr. Twain?

Mr. Twain?

[laughs nervously]

Hurry, let's dance.

I don't know how to dance.

Well, there's nothing to it.

You just move your feet,

make the conversation good so nobody will notice the rest.

-All right. I'll try. -Hmm.

[Mrs. Quick] Dorothy? It's 9:00.

-I have to go. -Ah, nonsense.

-Old people are hard of hearing. -But she knows I'm not.

Yeah, well, you didn't want to hurt my feelings, dear child.

[indistinct chattering]

What if I never see him again?

What if he's gone?

Dorothy, Mr. Clemens is a busy and important man.

That's it. Yes.

Once we're ashore, he'll be swept up in his own affairs,

and he won't have time to remember a little girl

he met on a boat.

-[Twain, laughing] Oh, hello! -[applause]

[man] How about an interview?

Mr. Twain!

It was great having you aboard, sir.

[Arabella] Oh, Mr. Twain!

Arabella!

Arabella. Well...

here is your book.

All inscribed.

I hope you've had a very pleasant voyage.

"To the ubiquitous Arabella.

Best wishes, Mark Twain."

Oh, that dear man.

Ladies, he says I'm ubiquitous.

[all giggle]

You'll only cause yourself heartache

if you expect things that aren't realistic.

[indistinct chattering]

[Twain] Whoa, hold on there, boys.

I get paid by the word now.

I can't afford to give them away for free.

What about the Ascot Cup?

Well, the cup's aboard the ship.

I was hoping you boys could help me

slip it by the customs house.

[all laugh]

There he is.

Are you my Dorothy?

Yes, Mr. Clemens. I am your Dorothy.

Well, I didn't recognize you.

Are you sure you're not some other Dorothy?

Mine always wears white.

-Look. -Oh!

It is you.

You weren't going to run away

without saying goodbye, were you?

Never.

Good morning, Mrs. Quick.

Good morning, Mr. Clemens.

[reporter] We have reports on the wireless

about your friendship with a little girl.

Oh, yes, gentlemen.

I'd like you to meet my good friend and manager,

Miss Dorothy Quick.

If you boys can remember how to behave

around a well-bred young lady,

she might oblige you with a quote or two.

-How old are you, Miss Quick? -Where are you from?

Miss Quick, how did you meet Mr. Twain?

-Uh, Mrs. Quick... -Mm-hmm?

...I hope you'll let Dorothy come and visit us soon.

I'll write to you to make arrangements.

Oh, Mr. Clemens, this is so kind of you.

Oh, nonsense. It's completely selfish of me.

When I left England I was 72. Today, I'm 65.

At this rate, I'll be a boy again by summer.

[both laugh]

-And, Mrs. Quick... -Yes?

...why don't you let Dorothy go to school with other children?

She's much too serious a child.

Mr. Twain, how about a photograph

of the two of you together?

Well... all right with you, Dorothy?

We're happy to oblige.

-Excuse me, Miss Hardwig? -Yes?

I can't seem to find Huckleberry Finn

in the card catalogue,

under Mark Twain or Samuel Clemens.

I should say not.

It has been banned from the children's library.

Banned?

But why?

That is none of your concern.

We have decided that it was not an appropriate book

for young readers.

But it's a wonderful book!

It's not fair!

Children are incapable

of deciding such issues for themselves.

It is our duty to protect them.

Protect them from what?

I've already read it, and there's nothing bad in it.

When you're older,

you may check it out of the regular library.

-But it's not fair! -Shh! Be quiet.

This is a library.

[billiard balls clacking]

So...

what do you think of the manuscript, Rogers?

It's right at the top of your form.

You hear that, Albert?

Pretty high praise from the president of Standard Oil.

Of course, he could be prejudiced,

being my financial advisor and oldest friend.

What do you think the critics will say?

Well, frankly, I think the professional critics

-are getting much too arrogant. -Yes.

[Twain] Odd phenomenon.

You know, the older and wiser and more serious I get,

the more the people love me and the critics attack me.

Well, they only want you to be funny, nothing more.

[chuckles]

Is there anything else you need

before I go to bed, Father?

No, thank you, Jean.

Jean, you're looking much better.

Yes, the country does wonders for my health.

I was thinking of going back for a few weeks

before it gets too cold.

Unless you... you rather I stay here with you, Father.

[grunts] Oh!

No, you go back to the country.

Your doctors are always arguing for it.

Besides, you're happier there.

Fine. I'll take the early train in the morning, then.

-Good night, Mr. Rogers. -Good night, my dear.

-Albert. -[Albert] Good night, Jean.

[Jean] Good night, Father.

Huh? Oh, yes. Good night, Jean.

[billiard balls clack]

Gentlemen, I'm going to call it a night as well.

But it's barely past 10:00, Rogers.

What about our game?

Clemens, I'm 69 years old.

Don't be ridiculous.

I've known you myself longer than that.

Such an embarrassment for a grown man

to try and appear so young.

Good night, Clemens.

Don't stop your game on my account.

Mm-hmm.

Another one, Albert?

No, I'm afraid not.

-I've got to get home. -Oh.

I promised my wife I'd take her to church tomorrow.

Oh, yes, yes.

Jean will be here tonight.

Yes. Jean.

She fusses over me to the point of making us both miserable.

She loves you very much.

Yes. I know.

She loves too much and laughs too little.

[Twain] "Dorothy, dear,

"will you come and make me a visit?

"Do you think your mother could spare you for a week?

"I thought this was a home,

"but that was only self-deception.

"For what is a home

"without a child in it?

"This is a dreary place.

"A hushed and brooding and lifeless place.

Aren't you sorry for me, you little rat?"

[laughs]

"Write back and say you'll come.

P.S. If you like, you may bring some dolls to play with."

Oh! You tardy little rascal.

I thought you'd never come! [laughs]

We've been holding tea for half an hour.

I'm sorry we're late.

[Twain] Good afternoon, Mrs. Quick.

Mr. Twain, it's such a pleasure to see you again.

Well, come on in. Come on in here.

Minnie, come and get the cases.

Thank you.

Well, how was the trip from Brooklyn, Mrs. Quick?

Oh, frightful. The roads were so congested.

It took us nearly three hours.

Oh, my. That's terrible.

I was going to ask you to stay to tea,

but you'd never make it back before dark if I did.

Oh, that's all right. I'd be delighted to take tea--

No, no, no. I wouldn't dream of being so selfish.

Now, take five minutes to freshen up,

and then back on the road again before it's too late.

I'm sorry to rush off.

No, I understand completely.

We'll have a proper tea when you come

to pick up Dorothy on Sunday.

Goodbye, Mother.

You won't be homesick, dear?

She won't have time.

[laughs]

[car engine starts]

Bring your dolls?

No. I have some, of course, but I never play with them.

-Good. Neither do I. -[laughs]

I've always wanted to know what Mark Twain's house looked like.

[Twain] Well, now this is only a townhouse.

I built me a big country house, it'll be ready next spring.

Come on now, we'll take a tour of this one.

This is the very best room of all.

[chuckles]

-Billiards. -[laughs]

Can I play with you?

-Can you play billiards? -Yes, I can.

It's a very good game to play when you're alone a lot.

Well, let's play, then.

I'm not very good.

Well, in that case, what should we play for?

Try this for size.

Minnie! Minnie!

Bring the tea here in the billiard room.

[Minnie] Yes, Mr. Clemens.

All right, dear girl.

Show us what you can do.

Oh! Splendid.

Minnie, look how well Dorothy holds a cue.

Well, hit another one, dearheart.

Hit another one.

[Dorothy sighs]

Shall we play another?

I'm not sure I can afford it.

[laughs]

Well, to the victor goes a cigar.

Then I'm sorry I won, Mr. Clemens.

[laughs]

You can't go around all week calling me Mr. Clemens.

I'd be obliged to call you Miss Quick.

I'd feel I was talking to one of those shorthand stenographers.

I know. It's a silly name.

When I become a writer someday,

I'll choose a wonderful pen name, like you did.

Well, let's see if dinner's on the table.

You want to be a writer?

Yes, I do.

But I don't know if I have any talent.

Well, I'll tell you what. I'll give you an assignment.

If it turns out well, we'll carry on from there.

What do I have to do?

Well, I'll tell you half a story.

Tomorrow morning,

while I'm working, you write down the other half.

Are you ready?

-Ready. -All right.

A young man is driving his horse and buggy

through the woods on the way to meet his fiancée

when he is held up by a tramp who steals his trousers.

[both laugh]

Now, the young man throws a lap robe over himself

to cover his loss.

But just then, his fiancée...

[Twain chuckles and grunts]

[Twain] Where was I?

In February of 1870, you married Miss Olivia Langdon.

[Twain] Yes, I...

first saw her in the form of an ivory miniature

in her brother Charlie's stateroom

on the steamer at Quaker City when she was 22.

The following December,

I met Charlie at the St. Nicholas Hotel.

Now, I don't know if these details are right.

I don't care a rap. They'll do just as well as the facts.

And he introduced me

to this sweet, lovely young girl...

his sister Olivia.

Whereupon the entire family...

I know I seem to be overloading this sentence, and I apologize.

...went to a reading by Mr. Charles Dickens,

and I accompanied 'em.

Now, that was 40 years ago.

And from that day to this,

his sister has never been out of my mind...

nor my heart.

Well...

read that back to me, Miss Harvey,

from the St. Nicholas Hotel.

"St. Nicholas Hotel.

"And he introduced me

"to a sweet and lovely young girl, his sister Olivia.

"Whereupon the entire family went to a reading

-by Charles Dickens--" -[Twain] Wait a minute!

What happened to,

"They'll do just as well as the facts"?

And where did "overloading the sentence" go?

I'm sorry.

Did you want me to take all that down?

Well, what do you think I'm paying for?

[sputters] I thought you were talking to me.

Talking to you?

Talking to you? Excuse me, Miss Harvey.

Would you leave the room for a moment so I could swear?

Hell and damnation!

And damn, damn, damn, damn!

Okay.

Miss Harvey?

You may resume.

I'll go in.

There has to be at least one room in the house

a man can swear in.

Dangerous to repress an emotion like that.

From now on, I'd appreciate if you wrote down every word.

Leave it up to you,

I'd sound like a judge.

Humor, Miss Harvey.

Man's greatest blessing.

That's true, Father.

Jean. [chuckles]

I didn't know you were coming today.

Did you tell your doctor?

No, I didn't.

Your letter sounded like you were feeling low,

so I took the afternoon train.

I didn't realize you had a houseguest.

Houseguest?

Yes. There's a little girl sitting just outside your door.

Oh. Dorothy.

Good heavens.

She'll have heard every blasted word I said.

If her mother finds out,

that'll be the end of our holiday.

And rightly so.

Dorothy!

Dorothy, come in here, will you?

Yes?

You didn't happen to hear what I was saying

when you were out in the hall, now, did you?

Hmm?

-No. -Good.

That was a private conversation between me and the Almighty.

This is my daughter, Jean.

Jean, this is Miss Dorothy Quick.

How do you do, Miss Clemens?

Happy to meet you, dear.

Well, Father, I'm a bit tired. I think I'll spend a quiet day.

I'll see you for dinner at 8:00.

And, Dorothy, I expect you'll have your dinner

in the kitchen at 6:00.

Oh, no. We all have our dinner at 6:00 now.

-[Jean] In the dining room? -Of course.

Well, I guess things have changed since I've been a child.

I guess I should go now too.

Hmm.

I don't think your daughter likes me very much.

Oh, nonsense.

She seemed angry.

Not at you. At me.

Why?

Well...

when she was your age,

I was too busy to be much of a father to her.

Now it's too late.

When you love someone, it's never too late.

[door closes]

"Quickly he slipped it out, unseen by his betrothed.

"And while pretending to untangle the reins,

"he gave the horse a good jab in the flank,

causing it to run away with him, carriage and all."

Splendid!

"He raced home, got another pair of trousers,

and returned fully clothed to the arms of his beloved."

Dorothy, Dorothy, there's no doubt about it.

You are an author.

-Do you really think so? -Certainly.

I'll tell you what I'll do.

I'll make you a charter member of the Authors' League.

The Authors' League?

-Who else is in it? -No one.

It'll just be the two of us.

Two authors working together. It won't be easy.

You'll have to work hard.

But I'll teach you what I know,

and you'll teach me too.

-But I can't teach you anything. -Of course you can.

All kinds of things.

It's been 60 years since I was a little girl.

[Dorothy laughs]

Father, Mr. Rogers is here to see you.

He's in the library.

Rogers, huh? Well...

Try to eat something, Dorothy.

The League will reconvene after lunch.

Rogers!

[laughs]

Well, what brings you here in the middle of a business day?

[sighs]

The Knickerbocker Trust Company is going belly-up.

Well...

my luck seems to have finally run out altogether.

Does this mean bankruptcy?

Bankruptcy would kill me at my age.

I barely survived at 60.

It's not quite as bad as that.

If you're careful,

you'll have enough money to finish the house in the country.

Oh, good. Yes, good. I...

I want Dorothy to spend a summer in the country with me.

She needs a little Huck Finn in her life.

-I'll take care of the details. -Yeah, good.

Will you excuse me, please?

I left Dorothy in the dining room.

Please, you must excuse him. He's not been himself lately.

Don't worry, my dear.

I've known that scoundrel for 30 years.

And he gets more ornery with every passing day.

Your father led me to believe you were feeling better.

Yes, if I stay in the country,

the doctor says I can expect to live a long and happy life.

You must take care of yourself.

Your father would be lost without you.

Sometimes I wonder.

Susy was his favorite when she was alive.

He dotes on Clara,

even though she's almost never here,

off on a singing career.

And now he prefers the company of a little girl.

he's only known for a few weeks.

Why can't he turn to me?

Jean...

your father is an old man who isn't going to change.

If you want to share in his life,

you're the one who's going to have to bend.

But how?

You're the daughter of Mark Twain.

I'm sure you'll find a way.

Then it just ends too abruptly.

"And returns fully clothed to the arms of his beloved."

No, it needs some kind of punch right there at the end.

Look at all this mail.

Birthday gifts and greetings.

Ah, well, the Authors' League is now in recess.

Can I help?

I'm counting on it, yeah.

This one...

This one just says...

"SLC, bless your old, sweet soul for having lived."

It's not even signed.

SLC. I like that.

Can I call you SLC?

Why, certainly. I like SLC.

[chuckles]

You know, mail is like plum pudding.

You may crack your tooth on a nut shell now and then,

but you never know when you come across a plum.

Oh.

What's the matter, Dorothy?

Cracked your tooth on a nut shell?

It's a magazine article

by Wilfred Jenkins in the Gazette.

Read it.

"Although Twain is essentially merely a humorist

"only one step removed from the other newspaper jokers,

"he has found an inch of popularity

"with the broadest public,

though certainly not the most refined."

How can he say that?

[sighs]

Mrs. Manchester? Why would she send this?

There, you see that?

It takes your enemy and your friend working together

to hurt you to the heart.

The one to slander you,

and the other to get the news to you.

Do you think friends should keep bad news from one another?

I think best friends

should tell each other everything.

Oh.

Why? You got something to tell me?

I went to the library near my house in Brooklyn.

They banned Huckleberry Finn from the children's section.

Ugh! Banned in the borough of Brooklyn.

Well, it's happened before. It'll probably happen again.

You always used to say it boosted the sales of books

if you couldn't borrow them for free.

Well, that's right. I did say that, didn't I?

But it's not fair.

Can't we do something?

-Is that her? -Yes.

Are you Miss Sarah Hardwig?

Yes. Yes, I am.

I have discovered that Huckleberry Finn

has recently been banished from your children's room.

-Miss Hardwigs, is this correct? -Yes, Mr. Twain.

But it wasn't solely my decision.

I wrote Huck Finn for adults.

Exclusively for adults.

And it violently distresses me when I discover

that boys and girls

have ever been allowed access to it.

It does?

The mind that is soiled in youth

can never again be washed clean.

Even now I harbor an unappeasable bitterness

against the unfaithful guardians of my young life

who not only permitted but compelled me

to read an unexpurgated Bible clear through

before I was 15 years old.

And as you know,

no one can do that and ever draw a clean,

sweet breath again this side of the grave.

Don't you agree, Miss Hardwig?

Uh, no. I mean, yes.

[Twain] I could say a word or two

in defense of Huck's character, I suppose.

But truthfully, he is no better than Solomon or David

or the rest of that sacred brotherhood.

And if there is an unexpurgated Bible

in the children's department,

then I want to thank you heartily for removing Huck

from that questionable companionship.

And good day to you, Miss Hardwig.

Come along, Dorothy.

How did I do?

[Dorothy] You almost gave her a conniption fit.

[Twain] Well, that's good.

You know, you're like a tonic to me, you little rat.

[laughs]

My wife Livvy kept me young

because she was always young at heart.

But now you've come along and taken over the job

of keeping me young, and I must say, dearheart,

you've done a first-rate job of it.

[laughs]

Have you talked to your mother abut sending you to school?

[Dorothy] She says she'll see.

That always means no.

Well, keep trying.

You can accomplish anything you set your mind to.

No matter what happens,

you must never, never lose heart.

There's another suitcase right in the hall.

Thank you so much for everything.

Mr. Clemens, thank you for your generous hospitality.

You're welcome. This is for you, Mrs. Quick.

Oh. How very charming.

Well, goodbye, you little rat.

Bye, SLC.

I'm afraid I can only let you go on one condition.

What's that?

If you'd come and pay me a visit in December

for at least a week.

Oh, Mother, can I? Please?

Oh, that's awfully generous of you.

Thank you.

I won't feel nearly so bad

with a whole week to look forward to.

Even if it is months away.

-[laughs] -Excuse me, Mrs. Quick.

-Yes? -I couldn't help overhearing

my father's plan about a visit in December.

Oh, it's so dear the interest he takes in Dorothy.

I just wanted to be sure you knew.

Since my mother died,

my father doesn't celebrate Christmas.

In fact, even the mention of it would upset him terribly.

Would you please tell Dorothy?

it would be such a shame

if anything ruined their friendship.

There you are.

-Bye. -Goodbye, Mr. Clemens.

Thank you.

[Dorothy] Bye!

[horse carriage approaching]

[dog barks in distance]

-Mother? -Mm-hmm.

I'm going to be 12 soon.

I've already missed six years of going to school

with other children.

I don't want to miss any more.

Please, Mother?

I've been thinking about it all week.

And I must admit, you may be right this time.

What?

I found a young lady's academy nearby that might be suitable.

-Mother, thank you! -[laughs]

Now, let me read Mr. Twain's letter.

Oh, looks like a letter of reference.

"This is to certify that I have been in the service

"of the enclosed Dorothy Quick for five days

"and have found her honest, willing, always good,

"sweet, thoughtful and winning.

"I recommend her to any worthy free person

"who's tired of his freedom

"and wishes to exchange it for something better.

Signed, S.L. Clemens."

[Dorothy] "Dear SLC, you were right.

"I pressed the issue of school with Mother,

"and she relented.

"I begin school Monday morning.

"I don't suppose I'll meet anyone like Tom or Huck

"in an all-girls school,

"but any friend would be a joy to me.

"We get two weeks Christmas vacation,

so I will still be able to come for my visit."

Look, Dorothy.

It's finished.

-Thank you, Mother. -I know I shouldn't have,

but I thought these buttons and this collar

would make you stand out a bit more

against all those school uniforms.

Mother?

I've been trying to decide what to get SLC for Christmas.

Dorothy, Mr. Twain hasn't celebrated Christmas at all

since his wife died.

But why?

Because she died at Christmastime.

Any mention of it is very upsetting to him.

Jean asked me to tell you not to talk about it

or to bring any gifts.

I can't believe it.

How can anyone not celebrate Christmas?

Doesn't sound like SLC at all.

Well, famous people are often eccentric.

If you want to befriend them,

you must honor their eccentricities.

We'll celebrate our own Christmas

when you come home, all right?

Yes, Mother.

[coins rattle]

I'd like to see that little silver pen knife, please.

Of course.

A gift for your father, perhaps?

No. A very special friend.

I see.

I'm afraid it's a bit expensive.

That's all right. I've got plenty of money.

Of course, madam.

Oh, those attachments are for smokers.

Cigar trimming, pipe cleaning.

Does the person smoke?

Only when he's awake.

I'll take it.

Can I have it engraved?

Of course.

What would you like on it?

[Dorothy] "Dear SLC,

"even though it has only been a month

"since I left number 21 Fifth Avenue,

"I miss you already.

[Twain] "To Miss Dorothy Quick.

"Only a month since I saw you?

"Why, you little humbug.

"It's been ten times that long.

"Even Minnie,

"who never gets anything right,

"admits it's been more than two months.

What is the matter with your veracity mill?"

[Twain, sighing] You know, Albert...

all my life, I've never been able to reproduce

another person's face in my mind.

Not clearly.

I never thought it was anything more

than just some curious mental infirmity.

Until my wife Livvy died.

Then I realized it was a calamity.

Oh, well.

Sometimes I think if I could just see

a dog I knew in the old days...

I'd put my arms around his neck

and tell him everything.

It would ease my heart.

Hey, you know...

I feel dizzy.

I think I'd better sit back down again.

Here. Here.

[mutters]

-Let me get you... -Oh.

Let me get you a glass of water.

[breathing heavily]

Oh. Yeah. Thank you for that.

[coughs]

Oh, yeah.

It's all right, I feel better now.

Oh.

You know, I...

I think...

I seem to be losing my memory.

I can't remember which ball is mine

or what game we're playing.

And I...

I got this blasted pain in my chest.

Here. Sit. Never mind about that.

We'll just-- We'll play later.

Um... just get some rest now.

I'll tell Minnie to bring us tea.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

Tell Livvy...

I want to see her.

What is it? Old age?

Angina pectoris.

What's that?

It's a tightening of the muscles around the heart.

We're not exactly sure what causes it.

[Twain] Oh. Does it kill a man?

Sometimes.

Well, it is the good kind of thing

that carries him off in an instant,

or the other kind that keeps him lingering and suffering

for another 20 years?

Father, don't talk like that.

I can't give you a schedule, Sam,

but I can tell you that your blood pressure is too high.

-And the smoking will-- -Never!

Yes, well, try to avoid strain and nervous stimulation.

I'll be back in the morning.

I'll try to keep him in line.

I'll show you out, Doctor.

You ought to try and get some sleep.

[Twain] No. I can't sleep nights.

Broad daylight's completely hopeless.

I was hoping Quintard was going to tell me

I'd drop dead any minute.

We can't have that.

You promised to go out with Halley's Comet.

I was just checking to see if you were listening, Albert.

Ah, yeah.

[knock on door]

Merry Christmas, Jean.

Dorothy.

Hello, Mrs. Quick. How was the drive?

Absolutely divine, Jean.

Please... let me take your things.

Thank you so much.

Hello, you little rat!

Get in here and get warm by the fire.

Are you absolutely sure Dorothy understands about Christmas?

Oh, yes.

I'm so grateful to you for telling me.

I explained it all to her, and she accepted it beautifully.

Come on in, ladies. Have your tea.

[Mrs. Quick] Oh, how lovely.

Thank you.

Oh, Father, I should have poured.

No, no. There you are. There you are.

Mother, where's my suitcase?

Mm, it's already been taken upstairs.

I'll be right back.

Hi, Minnie. Merry Christmas.

[Mrs. Quick] It's not very far from Brooklyn Heights, actually.

Merry Christmas.

Aren't you going to open your Christmas present?

Is this for me?

I've had it for ages and I couldn't wait any longer.

I know it isn't really Christmas for a few more days,

but you can open it now if you want to.

It's all right with me.

Certainly I'll open it now.

[indistinct] ...proper for me to open it

whenever you'd like me to.

In fact...

if I didn't open it now,

my curiosity would probably kill me.

[all laugh]

It's a pocket knife.

Why, it certainly is.

And a real beauty.

This blade's for snipping the ends off your cigars.

This blade's for cleaning your pipe out

and opening letters.

[laughing] Oh, it's an absolute marvel!

And, oh! Look.

"SLC." Engraved on the handle.

Oh, thank you, dearheart.

I shall treasure it always.

[sighs]

Jean...

where's Dorothy's...

Dorothy's Christmas present?

Oh! That's all right. I remember.

I'll be right back.

I was so relieved.

Merry Christmas, dearheart.

Thank you.

Oh, thank you.

[chuckles]

I shall treasure it always.

[knock on door]

Come in.

Time to turn out the light and go to sleep.

[Dorothy] All right.

Dorothy...

Dorothy, I...

I know how much my father means to you.

But he's been quite ill.

He had a heart attack last month.

What?

Why didn't anyone tell me?

Oh, we didn't want to worry you,

and we managed to get through it that time.

But we must all be more careful.

There must be something we can do to help him get better.

Dorothy...

I've tried my whole life to make my father happy,

but I've never been as successful

as you were this afternoon.

Now go to sleep.

[door closes]

Do you need anything?

No.

Well, I'll turn in. Good night.

Jean... [chuckles]

what kind of a dreary old house is this

for a child to spend the Christmas season in?

Why don't we put up some...

well, you know, decorations.

Are you certain you want to do that?

Well, I'm thinking.

We've been robbing ourselves of some of the joy in life.

Go on, fix the place up, Jean.

You know the kind of thing it needs.

All right, I'll see what I can find in the morning.

She must be a very special child.

[Twain] Jean...

you are all special children.

I'm only now beginning to understand

how much I cheated you and myself

by not paying more attention to all of you

when you were young.

It wasn't easy being the child

of the most famous man in the world.

But I never realized until now how difficult it must have been

to be the man himself.

Good night, Papa.

[girl] "A thing of beauty is a joy forever..."

[Twain] "Dearest heart,

"when you went away,

"you took the sun and the moon with you,

"and left silence and solitude behind.

"I'm saving all my cigar bands for you, notwithstanding.

"We're finally in the big house in the country.

"It is splendid.

"You must come for at least a month this summer.

"We will have adventures that will be the envy

"of Tom and Huck.

Love, your SLC."

-[Dorothy] Hello, SLC. -[Twain] Hey, Dorothy!

-I've been waiting... -[Dorothy] Hello.

[Twain, laughing] Oh!

[Twain continues to laugh]

Oh...

Hello! Hello! Welcome!

Welcome! All right, welcome!

Oh, come along, dearheart!

I nearly exploded trying to keep this secret

for the past two weeks.

Twice I had to tear up letters I'd written

because I'd given the surprise away,

and I wanted to see your face when you found out.

Your house is magnificent.

Aren't you going to give me a tour?

Later, later.

Come on, first the surprise.

[both laughing]

All right, shut your eyes now.

All right.

Sit right down there.

Here you are.

[chuckles]

All right. Open your eyes.

-[meowing] -Kittens!

Yeah. Tammany had 'em down in the cellar.

She's a jealous and secretive mother.

Yeah.

Took Jean two whole days to find her.

They're adorable!

Yes, well, generally surprises fall flat.

But I declare this one to be a huge success.

-Dog! -[laughs]

[Jean] Okay. She's--

She's sweeping. She's sweeping something.

It's the-- Sweeping the porch.

Sweeping the...

the welcome mat.

Welcome mat.

Welcome.

No, mat! Mat.

[Twain laughs]

[hiccups]

♪ Show me the way to go home ♪

[all laugh]

♪ I'm tired and I want to go to bed ♪

Father, you're a ham.

[Twain] Quiet, quiet!

You're interrupting the creative process.

[hiccups]

Dog. Man. Dog. Man. I don't know.

So, what's the drunk supposed to mean?

[hiccups]

[Albert] Hiccup.

-Hick? Hick. -[gasps] "Dog. Man. Hick."

"Dogmatic." Ah!

-[all clap] -Well done, well done.

[Jean sighs]

Oh, well, I think that's enough for this evening.

Oh, no. Now it's your turn.

Oh, oh, no.

I couldn't possibly.

You have to. It's only fair.

Besides, you couldn't possibly look any sillier than we did.

Oh, Father, would you please explain to Dorothy

-that I don't do-- -No, no, no.

You're my daughter.

Dispense with dignity.

-[Albert] Come on, Jean. -[both chuckle]

[Twain] Yes.

[Jean clears throat]

[humming exotic melody]

[Twain laughs]

And she called me a ham.

[Dorothy] Are these your woods too?

[Twain] Yup.

-[Dorothy] Are they fairy woods? -[Twain] Oh, goodness, no.

Obviously you are city-bred.

Anyone can tell at a glance that these are elephant woods.

Really? Are there elephants in them?

No, sadly not anymore.

Legend has it that there once were,

but they caught ambition

and all ran off and joined circuses.

It's so beautiful here.

You must be very happy.

Yeah, yeah. Happiness is a strange thing.

Grief can take care of itself.

But to get the full value out of joy,

you must have somebody to share it with.

[fly buzzing]

Oh, I hope you didn't have your heart set on fish for dinner.

[chuckles]

Ah, the heck with it.

[coughs]

The Authors' League is now in session.

Miss Quick, the membership is anxious to know

the subject of your next published work.

Well, I'm considering a book

about the War Between the States.

Oh, no, dearheart.

Write about something you know from your own experience.

[Dorothy] Maybe I'll write a book about you someday.

[Twain] Oh, well, I'd like to be around

to hear what you'd have to say, yeah.

But you'll have to read it out loud in a clear, strong voice

so I can hear it over the blamed harp music!

You know, if I'd been helping the Almighty

when he created mankind,

I'd have had him begin at the other end...

so human beings would start at old age.

I mean, think of looking forward to 18 instead of 80.

Yeah.

I know just how you feel.

I'm looking forward to 18 myself.

Oh, you are, are you?

Why, you dirty little rat.

[both laugh]

[Twain] "Dearest Dorothy,

"how dare you get sick?

"You must get yourself well at once.

We can't have any Christmas at all if you don't."

[coughs]

"I tried to get some elephants

"for your Christmas present,

"but they charge $10,000 a piece.

"I can get one elephant

"or 1,600 monkeys for the same money,

"if you prefer.

"William and I went into the woods the other day

"and found the perfect tree.

"Wait till you see it, you little rat.

Love, SLC."

It's not going to be much of a Christmas feast for you

with just me.

[Jean] I have a surprise.

I've invited a dozen children from the village

to come Christmas caroling tomorrow afternoon.

I made a tea party for them with hot cider.

I made cookies, cakes.

That's wonderful.

I wish Dorothy could be here to enjoy that.

Oh, no, Papa, her mother said she'll be fine

as soon as the weather warms up a bit.

I know.

I know.

Here.

I think you ought to open this now.

-What is it? -Well, it's from Dorothy,

with specific instructions that you are to open it

whenever you needed a Christmas present.

Hm!

-[chuckles] -Go on. Open it.

All right.

-[jingling] -Oh, listen.

[laughs]

[jingling]

[laughs]

Oh, gosh.

Now let's see what she has to say.

"Dear SLC...

"I would rather have the books you sent me

"than all the elephants and monkeys in the world,

"but I managed to find these of the miniature variety for you.

"I'm feeling much better.

Love, your little rat, Dorothy."

[laughs]

You know, when it comes my time to leave this earth,

I'd be perfectly willing to get on that train,

except for one thing.

What's that?

[sighs]

I'd just hate something awful

to leave you alone in this big house.

[Jean] So would I.

I'm sorry I haven't given you more of a family.

Now, Jean--

I know how badly you wanted grandchildren,

and how much I disappointed you in other ways.

-No. -It's... It's all right.

I've always known I wasn't your favorite.

I was always poor little Jean.

Not to me.

You have the best, kindest heart of all of us.

You know what I was thinking,

sitting across from you at the dinner table tonight?

What?

I was thinking how exactly like your mother you were,

and how proud she'd be of the woman you've become.

Thank you, Papa.

I...

I don't want you to catch my cold.

Sleep well, dear.

You too. Good night.

Good night, Papa.

[knock on door]

[coughs]

[door opens]

[Minnie] Mr. Clemens, sir.

Huh? Huh?

What is it?

It's Miss Jean.

She's had a seizure.

She's...

She's dead.

That's impossible. She's well.

Todd's already called for the doctor,

but it's beyond hope.

She's already gone.

Jean?

No.

"Dearest Papa,

"I wanted to give the world to you...

"because you have given so much to the...

"the world.

"Merry Christmas.

Love, Jean."

[horse hooves clopping]

[carolers] ♪ O'er the hills we go ♪

♪ Laughing all the way ♪

♪ Bells on bobtails ring ♪

♪ Making spirits bright ♪

♪ What fun it is to ride and sing ♪

♪ A sleighing song tonight ♪

♪ O, jingle bells, jingle bells ♪

♪ Jingle all the way ♪

♪ Oh, what fun it is to ride In a one-horse open sleigh ♪

♪ Hey, jingle bells, jingle bells ♪

♪ Jingle all the way ♪

♪ Oh, what fun it is to ride In a one-horse open sleigh ♪

-Minnie... -It's all right, Mr. Clemens.

I'll go out and tell them what's happened.

No, you'll do no such thing.

Tell cook to put the cider on the fire

and get out the cakes that Jean planned to serve.

We're not going to disappoint those children.

Yes, sir.

[carolers] ♪ Remember Christ our savior ♪

♪ Was born on Christmas Day ♪

Well, come in.

We got nothing to offer but vittles...

but cider's hot, cakes are fresh.

You're welcome to all you can hold.

Come on in. Come on in.

♪ Comfort and joy ♪

Merry Christmas.

♪ Oh, tidings of comfort and joy ♪

[inaudible]

[meowing]

[Mrs. Quick] Dorothy?

What is it?

Come here.

What is it, Mother?

It's Mr. Clemens' daughter.

What? Is she all right?

She's dead, Dorothy.

I'm so sorry.

But she can't be.

She was fine.

We were playing charades.

Sometimes these things just happen.

Is SLC all right?

Was that him on the phone?

No, that was a neighbor who saw it in the newspaper.

I have to go to Stormfield right away.

No, Dorothy. It's impossible It's the middle of winter.

You'd just be in the way during all the funeral arrangements.

It's best to leave well enough alone.

Write him a note if you'd like.

But I have to see him.

I'm sure he'll have many old friends around him now.

But he needs me.

[Albert] Is there anything you need?

No, no.

I've finished writing out the story of Jean's death.

I won't write anymore.

I feel like Huck did at the end of the book

when he said, "There ain't nothing more to write about,

and I'm rotten glad of it."

The doctor...

wants me to go to Bermuda for a while

until I get my strength back.

No, no, I told you...

I'm not up to reading any condolences yet.

I know. This is a letter from Dorothy.

Oh.

You want me to put it away with the others?

No, no. Give it to me.

I'll hold on.

Well...

I'm just down the hall in the library doing a bit of work

if you need me.

[Dorothy] "My dearest SLC,

"I know how your heart must be breaking,

"because I can feel mine breaking for you.

"You must just remember that no matter how much you miss her,

"Jean is happy with her mother and Susy now.

"And I feel certain that she will meet my father there,

"and that he will take good care of her in your absence,

"just as you have taken such good care of me in his.

"Please remember, you must never,

never lose heart."

-[dog barking] -[boy] Come on, Georgie.

Come on.

Good.

Go get it.

Come on, come on.

Bring me the stick.

Good boy.

[seagull squawking]

Come on, Georgie. There we go.

[dog barking]

[Twain] "Dearest Dorothy,

"sorry not to have written you sooner.

"I'm afraid I've not been feeling so well myself.

"I've been losing enough sleep to supply a worn-out army.

"But if one is going to feel rotten,

"Bermuda is a fine place to do it in.

"Sometimes, I just sit and think,

"and sometimes I just sit.

"You ought to get your mother to bring you sometime.

"I'm afraid I might not be home for Easter.

"The doctors seem to think I won't be well enough.

Love, your SLC."

Mother, you have to take me to Bermuda.

-What? -I must go to Bermuda.

Right away. Tonight or tomorrow morning.

-Please, Mother. -Dorothy,

you're being unreasonable.

You're sick.

Mother, listen,

this is the most important thing I have ever asked of anyone.

Even if it is unreasonable, or unwise,

or just plain foolish,

I must go to Bermuda.

-Dorothy, this is nonsense. -No, it isn't.

I know I'm just a child,

and I don't have the right to vote, or speak,

or decide anything in the world that's important.

But just this once, you must listen to me.

Is it much further?

No. About another mile. Come on.

-Can't we go any faster? -[laughs]

We could, but I don't think old Mort here would do it.

[indistinct chattering]

[carriage driver] Come on.

Come on. Whoa, Mort.

Whoa, whoa.

I'm here!

I came as quickly as I could.

Dorothy.

Oh...

Dorothy.

Hello, Mrs. Quick.

Mr. Clemens, Dorothy had to see you.

I came as quickly as I could.

Oh, how wonderful, dearheart.

How wonderful. You see?

I told you you could accomplish anything

once you set your mind to it.

What should we do first?

I want you to show me everything.

Yeah, well, you and your mama get settled in the hotel there.

I got a bungalow a mile or so down the road.

And I'll come back and...

and meet you...

in a day or two.

[Twain grunting]

In a day or two?

Yeah.

Then we'll see what adventures we can muster.

All right, driver.

[waltz music playing]

[indistinct chatter]

Dorothy, you expected too much.

He's been very ill.

I know.

I thought when he saw me, he...

He didn't even look like the same SLC.

He didn't call me little rat or anything.

Maybe I really did stay away too long.

[Twain] Excuse me, young lady,

but I don't seem to remember your name.

It's Dorothy.

Oh, yes.

Dorothy McGillicuddy.

No. Dorothy Quick.

You don't mean my Dorothy.

Yes.

You see there?

When I was young, I could remember anything,

whether it happened or not.

But now that I am older, Mrs. Quick,

the more I remember only the latter.

[laughs]

Are you feeling better?

Yes.

You're like a tonic to me, you little rat.

I couldn't stay away from here,

knowing you were so close by.

Thank you, Mrs. Quick,

for bringing Dorothy and yourself.

I'm glad we came.

Would you like some dinner?

No, no, no. No, thanks. I've eaten.

See how grown up you're getting?

Now my suppertime is earlier than yours.

[man] Ladies and gentlemen.

It is our privilege tonight

to have Mr. Mark Twain as a guest in our dining room.

[applause]

We are now going to play something in his honor.

[band plays upbeat dance music]

Look at those young people!

They don't know a lick about dancing...

[laughs]

Why don't you show them how they do it in Missouri?

Well, the spirit is willing but the feet are 73.

Don't worry, just move your feet and make the conversation good.

[chuckling] All right. Let's do it, then.

-[music ends] -[applause]

[Dorothy] Have you been writing?

No. I'm counting on you to keep the Authors' League alive.

It's your job in life.

You must see that it's well done.

I promise I'll do the very best I can.

[laughs]

Oh, look.

There's the Bermudian.

Let's see if she salutes.

[boat horn blows]

That's for me.

Captain Frasier does not forget me.

[laughs]

No one could ever forget you.

Did I ever tell you the night that I was born,

lightning crashed in the clear night sky.

And the heavens were rent with a mighty fiery comet.

No. Is that another one of your stories?

Certainly not, you little rat.

It's as true as you are.

Oh, look.

Look up there.

You see that fuzzy ball of light

with a little white tail behind it?

Yes, I see it.

That is Halley's Comet.

I was born under it.

Is that why you've always been so lucky?

Yes, you superstitious child.

But my real luck is walking right beside me.

[Dorothy] We will have good times, won't we?

[Twain] Of course we will.

Why, first thing tomorrow morning,

I'm going to teach you a new card game they named after me.

[horse snorts]

And I hope you play cards half as well

as you shoot billiards.

-Twice as well. -[laughs]

You know...

I feel better than I have in a long, long time.

Good night, you dear little rat.

Good night, SLC.

See you in the morning.

[Dorothy] I didn't know it then,

but that was to be the last glimpse

I would ever have of him.

He had another heart attack that night.

He did manage to get back to his own home.

It is not often

that the whole world mourns for one man.

At the time, I thought that learning to write

was one of the most important things he had taught me.

But now I realize he was really teaching me how to live...

and how to move my feet

and keep the conversation good.

Good night, SLC.

See you in the morning.

[closing music playing]