All language subtitles for Getting.On.US.S02E04.BDRip.x264-DEMAND

Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

Well, could I just ask,
do you include flatus

within your definition
of fecal incontinence?

Oh, you do not. Interesting.

Yeah. Well, an ongoing, raging debate.

I myself have always felt that
we should just stick

to the loss of solid or liquid stool.

Morning.

Cones are up.

I'll just scooch by.

- Hello.
- Hi.

Morning to all.

I just dropped by to draw your attention

to our annual Christmas Card Competition.

It's for the Kid's Oncology Ward.

You can do your own,
or there's an app online

that offers ideas to help get you started.

Um... (clears throat)
I think, uh, I left

my credit card in your car yesterday.

I found it. I forgot to bring it in.

I will tomorrow.

I took us to the Four Seasons
in La Jolla Saturday night.

You know, we needed some space to
move into our new relationship.

I think it really helped us turn a corner.

Pricey digs.

Dawn: He was having a little bit
of a hard time with all this.

It's a big shift, Didi,

you know, thinking of us
as a couple without a baby.

You know, a baby just
might have been in the way.

You know, couples with children,

I mean, that intimacy,
you know, it shifts.

It just... it deteriorates.

I'm glad you had a nice weekend, Dawn.

(Door whirring)

Hey, you wanna see some selfies I took?

Anyone, ask me why I'm excited.
I'll tell you why I'm excited.

Well, Dawn was just getting ready to
show us pictures from her La Jolla trip.

- No, it's fine. It can wait.
- I have been asked to participate

in the Cochrane Study
on Perianal Injectable

Bulking Agents for the Treatment
of Fecal Incontinence.

It's such important work. I mean, how many
women do you know with fecal incontinence?

And yet, it's this crazy aunt in
the attic of female geriatrics.

Nobody talks about it, everybody
lives in terror of it. What?

It's just, you know, you do
so many studies, that's all.

I do, Dawn, and you're
not involved in them anymore,

so I think we're
all right on that account.

Didi, can you imagine
how many lives would change

if we could just put a dent
in fecal incontinence?

- Does that include gas?
- Flatus, no. Generally, not.

Well, it is for me, especially these days.

There's just no such thing
as an innocent fart anymore.

The fact is, we women bear the
burden of fecal incontinence,

because of our unique
risk factors during pregnancy.

But the solution is so simple,

it has literally been
staring us right in the face.

Interior anal sphincter augmentation.

Like lips.

Collagen.

Same basic principle as cosmetic surgery,

only infinitely more important.

Why is Birdy Lamb... What is she
in here for, anyway, exactly?

Originally? Um, she had liver cancer,

then we treated a bad infection,

and now she has renal insufficiency.

Well, renal insufficiency...

could definitely possibly
be teinal within six months,

so I think that we should think about
enrolling her in our Hospice plan.

'Cause I bet she could really benefit

from that extra level of care.

Hello.

Man: Well, it's an hour 20,

plus the ferry
to the Vineyard has wifi now.

- Oh, shit! Shoot, sorry!
- So sorry.

- I am so sorry.
- No, totally my fault.

- Oh...
- Here's your donut.

- Uh... my bad.
- All good.

Well, well, well, who's the patient?

Which twin has the Toni?

This is Denya Thorp.
Denya is a Reiki instructor.

Oh, wonderful. Wonderful.
What does that mean, exactly?

Transferring universal energy

to promote equilibrium
through the placement of hands.

Um...

That is my mother, Lorraine.

Hi, Mom.

Dawn: Uh, Denya has extreme
lower abdominal tenderness,

significant gastric distension.

Yes, I can see that.

She was diagnosed with ovarian cancer,

they did a total abdominal hysterectomy

followed by two rounds of chemotherapy,

before being referred
here for hospice last week.

Dr. Kim, my oncologist, told
me I only have six months.

Jenna: Dr. Kim
is a very good doctor, and...

♪ Lucy. ♪

Mom? Mother? Oh God. She wanders.

Marguerite? We'ltake care of her.

- What?
- Hold my hand.

Uh, certainly.

So, gents, we have abdominal distension.

What might we be thinking?

Bowel obstruction, a midgut volvulus.

Could be looping of the intestines.

Oh, look who's back. Possible adhesions.

- Yes. Hi, Mom.
- ♪ Luuuucy. ♪

(Weakly) ♪ Ricky. ♪

I had cancer and chemo at Cedars.

Brutal. She just can't take it.

You're like that mother
in "Night of the Iguana,"

or whatever that movie was
where there was that mother

who was always just there.

(Sighs) What does it matter?

The world's coming to an end, anyway.

Well, it might feel that way.

I saw a documentary on the beaver,

and, uh, they're making quite a comeback.

Let's get a scan, Dawn,

and perhaps consider a nasogastric tube

- to relieve the distress.
- Will that hurt?

Uh, no. No.

Doctor: You gotta do this three
times a day, the next month.

- Woman: Okay.
- Rotate it like this.

And in six months, you'll be doing this.

(Woman laughs) Doctor: Wanna try it?

Well, well, well.

Miss I-don't-have-the-time- of-day
is interested.

What are you talking about?

- What's his name?
- I don't know.

- Well, go say hi.
- I am not going to say hi.

- Dawn: Don't be shy. (whispers)
- Dawn!

Doctor: You're improving already.
Look at you.

Denise, this is Dr. Parker Owens.

- Hi.
- Hello.

This is Denise Ortley.

Dr. Owens is an orthopedic surgeon.

He specializes in shoulders and hips.

He's here at Mt. Palms for two more days,

and I told him that he could
use our phones if he needed.

Denise, maybe you'd like
to show him our phones.

We got one right there
and one right there.

All right.

Well, it was nice
to officially meet you, Denise.

Bye. All right, don't feel like you
have to say thanks or anything.

- I cannot believe you did that.
- Why?

- Because!
- Dawn: I was just helping.

I don't need any help.

Dawn, we're implementing

new procedure for the dry-erase board.

Patient's names are
protected health information.

So let's just use a first name,

unless you have written authorization
from the patient, okay?

- Okay. Can I come over tonight?
- Dawn, no, not tonight.

I told you my mother's coming to stay.

I thought you said she was going
to Cuba with your father.

Yeah, she can't. After what she did
last time, they won't let her back in.

- So...
- Can we at least have dinner?

(Whispering) Dawn, I have
some negative feelings. Okay?

Not positive feelings.

Well, I have feelings,

and some of my feelings
are not positive, too.

Well, some of my not positive feelings

are about you. Okay?

Well, me too. Me too.

You know, but I know that
the not positive feelings

that I feel about you,
they're not really about you.

And our ability to talk about it
makes the negative feelings

- actually very positive.
- Okay.

I gotta get back to work. Okay? Hey, guys.

Excuse me. So here's this. I think...

Okeydokey.

Up your nose with a garden hose.

It's gonna hurt. The doctor said
it wouldn't, but I'll bet it does.

A little bit,

and then it'll be over.

I'm a pro.

I'm gonna put this tube into your nose,

and then it is going to go up

and around and down.

Slather, slather, slather.
Where do you live?

I used to live in Guatemala and Santa Fe,

but now I live here with her
for the last seven years.

I was actually born in this hospital,

51 years ago this January.

You do not look 51 at all.

Didi.

I'm putting it in. I'm putting it in.
(moaning)

I think there's enough lube,
so I'm putting it in.

Are you feeling any discomfort? No?

Okay, 'cause you can squeeze my hand
if you feel uncomfortable. Okay?

Okay. Okay.

There's an obstruction.

Didi: Okay. It's okay. Ooh!

Obstruction is what we got going on here.

Didi! No, no, no.

You can squeeze my hand.
On a scale of one to 10...

Dawn: It's like a traffic jam.
We can get around it.

- Didi: Ooh, ooh, okay. No, no.
- Dawn: Didi.

Please, I need you to focus here, okay?

- Can you relax, ma'am?
- Denya: I'm fine.

- Okay.
- Okay, can you swallow for me?

Swallow. Swallow. Swallow. (yelping)

Done. Yay!

That wasn't so hard, was it?

Okay. Now I'm getting some tape,

'cause we wanna make sure
to secure this into place.

Nice and easy... on your nose.

Okay. Now I'm gonna get some...

(gagging)

Oh shit.

(Mouse clicking) I am actually excited

about this Christmas Card Competition.

Maybe I should submit, too, huh?

How about one of these?
One of our selfies.

- Intimate selfies, here.
- Oh...

- This one, or this one.
- Jesus, Dawn!

Stop, stop, stop. Okay, no, no, no.

Seriously look. Okay, so
what I want to do now,

I wanna put the letters
at the top. How do I do that?

Oh, that's easy. You just go to
the, um, text pull-down box.

Can you do it? Please? Just...

Now, should I put this up to 22? Right
now it's at probably at, like, 18.

- You think it should be bigger?
- Yeah.

- Okay, bigger.
- Yeah. Okay.

I'm really scared he's
gonna dump me now, you know?

Without the baby.

What's the matter with
all these dogs, by the way?

Oh, I used dead ones.

That's the North Pole.

And I Photoshopped in
a sleigh and some huskies.

I mean, it's just the...
the eyes are mismatched, kinda.

Didi: Right, but I just figured if they
liked the general direction I was going in,

- they would fix that.
- (sighs) Move. Dawn.

We need to download some
large format vulvar C-types.

The file's in sub-folder C, document l27.

Can you attach that,
email that to me, please?

Uh, Dr. James, I have the certification

of Terminal Illness for Birdy Lamb,

- plus three new pre-certs.
- Great. Great job.

(Woman sneezes) Grim Reaper.
(laughing)

Sending. And away we go.

Nurse, I need a new chair up on
Six, without the wheelie-balls,

'cause I wouldn't want
to run over one of my mice.

You let them loose? Out of their cages?

I just... no.

All these new TVs, by the way,

where's that money coming from?

Departmental Augmentation.

Many of our patients can now visit
and Skype with family members

- who are unable to visit in person.
- Well, that's nice,

but I think that that's my money.
I earned that money.

Yes, but it is my job to ensure
that the equipment is sufficient

- to adequately meet...
- Not when it's my money.

It's my hospice money for my institute.

I mean, I can't even...

I'm studying anogenital distances,
gender flips, vaginal atrophy.

I have been invited to
participate in the Cochran Study

on Anal Augmentation
for Female Fecal Incontinence.

And yet always,
always it's this opposition.

Hey! Excuse me! I'm supervising nurse.

Birdy: Why? I don't wanna move.

Didi: Well, it is your new,
special hospice suite.

It has a sofa and a recliner.

- It does?
- Yeah.

And you got a flat-screen TV.

Birdy: Really?

Yeah, and look at that wallpaper.

Ooh, honey. Ooh-la-la.

I was told you wanted to... (knocks)

- see me, Ms. Thorp?
- Yes.

I really want to die.

I want a quickened ending.

You could gently up my morphine,

which, as we know,
would depress my respiration

and hasten things along.

Lorraine, surely you don't want to see
your daughter leaving us so quickly?

Oh, I'll be fine.
I can take care of myself.

And I want to die here.

I may not have been some punk-rock
star, or some Maharani princess,

but I would like to believe I made it

somewhere further in life
than just my mother's condo.

I mean, I'm sorry I was irresponsible.

I didn't save for my retirement.

But in all fairness, I should have
had my inheritance years ago.

We all should have.

My father was a physician.

Doctors always used
to prescribe extra morphine

to help their patients get
through it a little faster.

Well, physicians can definitely
not do that anymore.

Every death is reviewed
by a nurses' panel,

and the whole system, these days,

is set up so everybody rats everybody out.

The world is filled
with such ignorant douchebags.

Oh, the stories I could tell you.

So I skipped college and I
lived in Guatemala by myself.

Not because of some guy.

And I studied painting with Nan Cuz.

(Sighs)

So then we got this license from the city
of Albuquerque and we started the shelter.

Mostly dogs and cats at first,

but then birds, too.

Mother!

But then poor Shotzie could only get by

with her hind legs in a
wheelbarrow, peeing everywhere,

and then Noodles got this
rare form of canine leukemia

and Mother kicked me out. (snoring)

Yeah, I lived in a shelter
until I put them down,

and then she let me move back in.

Well, pets are wonderful
companions, but really,

- this should be about you.
- This is about me.

Cats and dogs used to wander off
when it was their time to go.

Now we have them cooped up indoors,

they have pet insurance,
and we keep them going, too.

It's not right.

It's my time,

and I want to wander off.

Did you take your pills?

Let me see.

- Lucy.
- ♪ Ricky.♪

Here.

(laughs)

It's not unreasonable, Jenna,

to put TVs in patients' rooms.

- Gosh, next they're gonna want telephones?
- Paul, it's not fair. I made that money.

Yes, but there is a greater, common good,

and your fecal incontinence, maybe
it's all just a bit too ambitious.

Maybe you should just stick to geriatrics.

We can no longer sweep female
fecal incontinence under the rug.

What about that greater good? What about the
untold lives of the millions who are affected?

The embarrassment, the self isolation,

worrying for 20 years over its onset,

- considering invasive colostomies to prevent it?
- Okay. Yes, all right.

- Sitting in one's own filth?
- All right.

- It's quality of life, Paul.
- I understand.

- Mental health.
- Yes, don't go to the barricades.

We plump up our lips with collagen
to give better blow jobs,

and make ourselves more kissable,

but for us to use that
same material in tissue

- that is infinitely more meaningful to us...
- Got it.

Our anal sphincters, is to
live out our lives with dignity

instead of discarded dirty dolls.

(Door slams)

(sighs)

Excuse me. Dawn?
Could I have a minute, please?

- Yeah.
- Okay, I'm wearing my Children's Oncology

Christmas Card Competition hat here.

Didi: Did I win?

An obscene picture was sent
to the competition.

Why are you telling us?

(laughs)

You took those pictures
at the Four Seasons.

I thought maybe you sent it by mistake.

You actually think this is my...?

- Hm.
- You can't tell the difference?

Patsy, this is, like,
an 80-year-old vagina.

This is one of Dr. James's vulvas.

- Jenna: Yes?
- What?

Dr. James, I'm sorry, but...

(clears throat)

looks like one of your
large-format vulvar C-types

made its way down to
Children's Oncology department

for the Christmas Card Competition.
I'm not tracking.

Oh my God!

You're telling me that we are dealing here

with a photo of a patient's vulva?

(Didi laughs) This is not funny.

Nurse, no. No!

This is add protection and should clear
clear and blatant HIPAA violation.

HIPAA compliance and data protection
have got to get involved.

Clearly, this vulva belongs to somebody,

and we need to find out who it belongs to.

This vulva is anonymous!

There is an apology due to whomever

has appeared in this photo.

Okay. Well, how do you
propose we identify it,

because apparently they all look alike?

Jenna: It's a blind study,
so it's impossible to tell.

Everyone look closely, and maybe
somebody will recognize it.

- What's going on?
- There's been a major HIPAA violation.

Okay, people, even having his conversation

here like this in public is a
potential HIPAA...♪ violation. ♪

Paula: Either we identify it, apologize
to the patient and resolve it,

or this has to be reported
to Administration.

Okay, well, how do you suggest Dr.
James even identifies whose it is?

- I mean, she's taken hundreds...
- Hundreds!

And even if it was my vagina,
it came from Didi's account.

So how do we know it's not hers?

Okay, even if it was sent from Didi's
account, for some very odd reason, Didi.

- It's not even black!
- What are you talking about?

Who cares what color it is?

The data is still yours, so you
are the responsible party.

Okay! Where is it? Let me see!

Dawn: Okay, jeez.

All right, um...
severe labial deterioration,

um, it does look familiar.

So, uh, oh, it's right
on the tip of my tongue.

It is Birdy Lamb. I can absolutely confirm

that she is the lady in question.

- Good. Great. Bingo. Tell her.
- Jenna: No.

Dr. James, I am the union rep on
the Data Protection Committee,

and we are duty-bound
to disclose to patients

or their relatives when
information pertaining

to the patient has been released
into the public sphere.

For pity's sake, it was the harmless
transmission of an errant vulva.

People, we cannot fuck with HIPAA!

I heard about an investigation by the
Department of Justice, with prosecutions!

They actually... they actually
put people in jail for this!

I am five years
from early retirement, people,

so this is not a risk
I am willing to take.

(Playing piano)

- Parker: Okay, try to make a fist.
- Woman: That's good.

That's good. Okay.

Nice. Can you do that?

He's a doctor, I'm a nurse,
and I'm married.

That doesn't mean
you can't have a little fun.

- I'm like my life, Dawn.
- Dawn: Good.

Does that hurt?

Checking in.

I'm sorry.

I didn't mind when my hair fell out.

But it killed me when I lost my eyebrows.

- Hey. Come with me for a sec.
- Where?

To the, uh, beauty shop.

You ever think about doing something
different with your hair?

No. Come on, let's take the stairs.

What?

- I do not wanna talk to him.
- Dawn?

- Wait up!
- I'm so over him.

Dawn: He's the world's biggest loser.

He's too lazy,
he won't come down the stairs.

This is stupid.
Why didn't you choose wait?

'Cause I don't want to talk to you!

Thanks for that shitty weekend.

Oh, and, you know, thank you for sticking
me with the apartment, by the way.

Did I... did I say that?
No, I actually didn't.

Well, then where's your half of the money?

Do you guys have to do this right here?

You know what? I feel like you tricked me

- into getting you pregnant.
- Oh, you do?

Yeah, I do, and then I feel like you
trapped me into that apartment,

and I am only speaking my
deepest, most inner truth.

You know what? Eat me. Okay?
Get out of my way, Freddie.

Cones are up. Stairs are wet.

Patsy: I have to say my truth,

because it's my truth
and I have to say it!

I suffered a blighted ovum, okay?

I lost our child that never existed,

so why don't you just stop
thinking about your goddamn self!

Go back... Oh!

Didi: Hey! Dawn!

(Squeaking)

There's your freakin' stairs, Freddie.

- Are you crazy?!
- Dawn: And I didn't trap you.

All I wanted was to become
the person I was meant to be

instead of being the fucking me that I am.

Is that so much to ask?

You and me and a baby
would have made me that person,

and now I'm just fucking me.

Dawn. (speaks Spanish)
(speaks Spanish)

- Dawn?
- No!

I can do this on my own.

I don't need you.

I am auto-sufficiente!

Oh! Girl! Hey!

Dawn! (thudding)

I see it. What?

She fell. Stairwell.

Oh, God. Get this over with.

Well, I should call Paula first.

No. Eh, leave her out of it.

Good afternoon, Miss Lamb. I
certainly hope you had a nice bath.

You remember that I asked you for
your permission to include you

in my vital medical research?

- Yes.
- Yes.

Jenna: Well, there was a slight confusion,

which resulted in the photograph
of your vulva being distributed

throughout the hospital,
uh, via the Internet,

in the form of a Christmas greeting card.

Oh. All right.

(laughs)

Do you know what this is, Miss Lamb?

No.

It's genitalia.

Miss Birdy? That's your little pussy.

No. Mine's big as a bucket.

(laughs) (chuckles)

(soft music plays)

Didi: Okay, let's try this.

Great color.

Okay, don't peek. Don't look.

Don't look just yet.

Let me get you around.

Okay, wait a minute.

Yeah.

Open.

(laughs)

Oh my god!

(laughs)

Ooh! Sorry.

Hello again.

Just getting my potato salad.

I don't bite, you know.

What do you mean?

- Where you from?
- Richmond, Virginia.

- Where'd you go to school?
- Yale. You?

I'm from right here,

all the raggedy parts.

I saw your, um,

dance moves earlier with the patient.

It's pretty interesting... (chuckles)

for somebody from such a fancy school.

So now you're gonna show me
how it should be done, huh?

No. You show me.

All right.

(Classical music playing)

Okay.

(Classical music continues)

You certainly got the moves in you.

Orthopedically speaking.

(Music continues)

You know, this could never, ever
be anything more than this.

I got the results of your scan.

There was indeed some intestinal looping,

which would explain the abdominal pain.

We can address that.

The scan also showed new lesions

on your kidney and spleen,

consistent with fresh metastases.

Um, I'm afraid that the six-month timeline

might be over-optimistic.

We have a choice.

You are sick enough to stay here with us,

if that's what you wish,
or you can go home...

now I want you to listen very closely...

with your mother and a nurse

and a morphine pump

to be adjusted to your level of pain.

You would be in charge of making yourself

more... comfortable.

Do you understand?

Thank you.

Dawn! Can you come here for one second?

Yeah? What the hell do
you think you're doing?

Well, I was just walking him to his car,

and then I was gonna try
to get into his junk.

The hell you are! You're not
doing anything like that!

Why? You don't want him.

Such long, full days.

"Like sands through the hourglass,
so go the days of our lives."

Who said that? Walt Whitman?
Is that "Leaves of Grass"?

I think it was on
a soap opera or something.

Well, I'm leaving. I'm off, off, off.

Do you know that mice run on a wheel
not because they are neurotic,

but because they just like to run?

New studies have proven that...

(farts)

(farts)

Not gonna happen.

Don't even think about it.

(Classical music playing)

♪ ♪