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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,480 I gotta pick up Greta in ten minutes and I can't find my clothes. 2 00:00:02,880 --> 00:00:04,360 They're usually in your closet. 3 00:00:06,180 --> 00:00:07,180 No, Mom. 4 00:00:07,540 --> 00:00:08,800 I mean the clothes. 5 00:00:09,200 --> 00:00:14,620 My black slacks, my silk vest, and that cool cap that makes her eyes sparkle and 6 00:00:14,620 --> 00:00:16,100 her lips pucker up. 7 00:00:20,740 --> 00:00:25,240 Oh, you mean the one that makes my eyes bug out and my stomach cramp. 8 00:00:27,280 --> 00:00:28,520 Yeah, that's the one. 9 00:00:28,890 --> 00:00:29,890 Have you checked under your bed? 10 00:00:30,170 --> 00:00:32,830 Yep. What about the laundry room and your gym bag? 11 00:00:33,070 --> 00:00:34,070 I checked there, too. 12 00:00:34,130 --> 00:00:35,130 How about the trunk of your car? 13 00:00:36,650 --> 00:00:37,650 Ah. 14 00:00:38,990 --> 00:00:39,949 Good idea. 15 00:00:39,950 --> 00:00:40,729 Thanks, Mom. 16 00:00:40,730 --> 00:00:41,730 Uh -huh. 17 00:00:44,730 --> 00:00:45,850 Bye, Mom. Walk you in. 18 00:00:46,270 --> 00:00:47,910 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 19 00:00:48,190 --> 00:00:49,190 Hold it. 20 00:00:51,330 --> 00:00:52,330 Where'd you get that outfit? 21 00:00:52,970 --> 00:00:53,970 Oh, it's Eddie. 22 00:00:54,410 --> 00:00:55,410 Doesn't it look great on me? 23 00:00:55,790 --> 00:00:57,070 Why are you wearing your brother's clothes? 24 00:00:59,180 --> 00:01:02,240 curtis and he's seen everything i own laura eddie's looking for that outfit 25 00:01:02,240 --> 00:01:05,960 right now you know it's very very rude to take other people's clothes without 26 00:01:05,960 --> 00:01:11,440 their permission harry i can't find my i love donut sweatshirt 27 00:01:11,440 --> 00:01:16,480 have a nice time dear 28 00:01:34,280 --> 00:01:35,340 Don't enjoy watching sports. 29 00:01:36,160 --> 00:01:37,280 I'll rub your neck. 30 00:02:36,880 --> 00:02:38,480 stuck in the jury box with him. 31 00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:39,720 The 32 00:02:39,720 --> 00:02:47,080 Cook 33 00:02:47,080 --> 00:02:51,520 County Criminal Court is now in session. The Honorable Jennifer Mooney 34 00:02:51,520 --> 00:02:53,420 presiding. All right. 35 00:02:57,140 --> 00:02:58,240 Be seated. 36 00:03:01,580 --> 00:03:06,020 Today we will consider the case of the people versus David Hayes. 37 00:03:06,480 --> 00:03:10,280 For the record, the prosecuting attorneys are... Yoo -hoo, yoo -hoo, yoo 38 00:03:10,280 --> 00:03:11,280 yoo -hoo. 39 00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:13,560 Yes? 40 00:03:14,180 --> 00:03:16,220 Quick question, Your Honorable Judgeship. 41 00:03:16,900 --> 00:03:19,000 Stephen G. Urkel, juror three. 42 00:03:20,400 --> 00:03:25,800 During the proceedings, if nature should say, happen to call, 43 00:03:26,240 --> 00:03:32,020 will there be, you know, potty breaks? 44 00:03:33,640 --> 00:03:35,720 Of course, Mr. Urkel. 45 00:03:36,010 --> 00:03:40,690 There will be recesses. Oh, great, great. Well, I'm not asking for myself, 46 00:03:40,690 --> 00:03:43,730 see. I'm asking for my friend, Kyle Winslow. 47 00:03:46,970 --> 00:03:48,050 Chair number four. 48 00:03:48,810 --> 00:03:51,270 Let's just say his bladder ain't what it used to be. 49 00:03:54,850 --> 00:03:55,950 Thank you, Mr. 50 00:03:56,150 --> 00:03:57,810 Urkel. That'll be enough. 51 00:03:58,550 --> 00:03:59,990 Now let's get started. 52 00:04:00,410 --> 00:04:01,990 You may begin, Counselor. 53 00:04:05,260 --> 00:04:10,580 Ladies and gentlemen, what you are going to see today is an open and shut case. 54 00:04:11,480 --> 00:04:16,000 Mr. David Hayes, the janitor at Leahy Jewelers... Hey, I've been there. I 55 00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:17,000 a defense. 56 00:04:18,240 --> 00:04:24,300 ...is charged with grand theft of merchandise totaling more than $20 ,000. 57 00:04:25,200 --> 00:04:29,020 And we're going to make your job very easy for you today by showing you the 58 00:04:29,020 --> 00:04:34,020 surveillance tape that captured the actual crime as it took place. Cool. Is 59 00:04:34,020 --> 00:04:35,020 the... 60 00:04:35,470 --> 00:04:36,470 No, it's not. 61 00:04:36,950 --> 00:04:38,290 Turn it up here? No. 62 00:04:38,870 --> 00:04:39,869 It's not efficient? 63 00:04:39,870 --> 00:04:40,870 Would you just stop? 64 00:04:47,710 --> 00:04:48,710 Is the bike ready? 65 00:04:49,490 --> 00:04:50,810 Nope, still boiling. 66 00:04:52,050 --> 00:04:54,010 Hey, how do you make scrambled eggs fluffy? 67 00:04:54,810 --> 00:04:55,810 I don't know. 68 00:04:57,390 --> 00:04:58,390 Marshmallows. 69 00:05:08,330 --> 00:05:09,930 Is somebody laying asphalt? 70 00:05:11,870 --> 00:05:16,690 We're making breakfast for the whole family. You guys boil the bacon? 71 00:05:17,870 --> 00:05:21,690 Sure. I mean, we had to kill the germs from when it fell on the floor. 72 00:05:23,250 --> 00:05:24,630 What's the name? Take a look. 73 00:05:30,950 --> 00:05:31,950 Wow. 74 00:05:36,620 --> 00:05:41,460 these eggs here, uh, these are bouillon cubes and chocolate sprinkles? 75 00:05:42,880 --> 00:05:43,880 Yep. 76 00:05:44,620 --> 00:05:50,020 You know, you know, like, next time, you might want to unwrap the bouillon 77 00:05:50,020 --> 00:05:51,020 cubes. 78 00:05:51,960 --> 00:05:52,960 Mom, 79 00:05:55,380 --> 00:05:57,460 there are gummy bears in my pancake. 80 00:05:58,260 --> 00:05:59,640 Make coffee, Mrs. W. 81 00:05:59,880 --> 00:06:01,500 It's good to the last drop. 82 00:06:03,420 --> 00:06:04,420 Thank you. 83 00:06:15,570 --> 00:06:19,310 I, uh, hope we get to the last drop before Tuesday. 84 00:06:21,870 --> 00:06:24,930 I got three, Jay. Why don't you go and get me the morning paper? 85 00:06:25,510 --> 00:06:29,290 Uh, Richie, uh, why don't you help him just in case he has trouble finding it? 86 00:06:29,750 --> 00:06:31,170 One newspaper coming up. 87 00:06:31,670 --> 00:06:32,670 All right. 88 00:06:33,890 --> 00:06:34,890 Uh, hey, guys. 89 00:06:35,400 --> 00:06:39,840 This was a really nice surprise. I always love it when someone else does 90 00:06:39,840 --> 00:06:40,980 cooking. Thank you. 91 00:07:15,310 --> 00:07:20,250 Mr. Bozzelli, as head of security for Leahy Jewelers, what surveillance system 92 00:07:20,250 --> 00:07:21,250 do you utilize? 93 00:07:21,270 --> 00:07:23,210 24 -hour video monitoring. 94 00:07:23,410 --> 00:07:24,990 The very latest, state -of -the -art. 95 00:07:25,430 --> 00:07:28,630 Your Honor, may it please the court, at this time we would like to enter that 96 00:07:28,630 --> 00:07:29,630 tape into evidence. 97 00:07:29,730 --> 00:07:30,729 Very well. 98 00:07:30,730 --> 00:07:32,710 Bailiff, if you would please set up the video monitor. 99 00:07:33,010 --> 00:07:34,010 No way. 100 00:07:35,670 --> 00:07:36,629 Why not? 101 00:07:36,630 --> 00:07:38,710 I only take orders from Judge Mooney. 102 00:07:40,570 --> 00:07:43,390 It's okay, Henry. Go ahead and do it. 103 00:07:44,590 --> 00:07:45,590 Well... 104 00:09:12,240 --> 00:09:13,980 but appreciate you talking us through it. 105 00:09:17,720 --> 00:09:19,580 There's David Hayes coming into the store. 106 00:09:21,660 --> 00:09:22,740 That's him, all right. 107 00:09:24,580 --> 00:09:26,180 Bold as a bedbug. 108 00:09:28,300 --> 00:09:31,100 And that was Hayes leaving the store with two bags of loot. 109 00:09:31,480 --> 00:09:33,800 Right on tape. What a bonehead. 110 00:09:35,700 --> 00:09:37,660 Could you adjust the color? 111 00:09:39,600 --> 00:09:40,780 It's black and white. 112 00:09:46,700 --> 00:09:48,040 There is no sound. 113 00:09:50,040 --> 00:09:51,500 He sure is grouchy. 114 00:09:53,080 --> 00:09:55,000 Maybe you should give him one of your laxatives. 115 00:10:04,580 --> 00:10:05,579 So, Mr. 116 00:10:05,580 --> 00:10:08,520 Hayes, you were at home watching Bewitched that entire evening? 117 00:10:08,800 --> 00:10:10,860 Yes, ma 'am. It was a marathon. 118 00:10:19,980 --> 00:10:24,620 Mr. Hayes, do you actually expect this jury to believe that you didn't commit 119 00:10:24,620 --> 00:10:27,520 this crime, even though we all watched it on tape? 120 00:10:28,900 --> 00:10:30,640 Yeah, that'd be great. 121 00:10:34,600 --> 00:10:39,560 I broke my pencil. I was wondering... Wait, I'll get that. Don't worry. 122 00:10:58,459 --> 00:10:59,459 That's nine. 123 00:11:01,640 --> 00:11:02,640 Guilty. 124 00:11:03,240 --> 00:11:04,240 Guilty. 125 00:11:04,840 --> 00:11:05,860 Not guilty. 126 00:11:06,420 --> 00:11:07,420 Not guilty? 127 00:11:08,400 --> 00:11:10,420 Who's the idiot that voted not guilty? 128 00:11:45,800 --> 00:11:48,200 turning into a lean, mean babe machine. 129 00:11:53,340 --> 00:11:54,340 Three, 130 00:11:55,140 --> 00:11:56,140 two, 131 00:11:58,920 --> 00:11:59,920 what happened? 132 00:12:00,500 --> 00:12:06,260 Well, I thought your basketball needed some air, and I guess I might have over 133 00:12:06,260 --> 00:12:07,059 -pumped it. 134 00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:09,640 This is an authentic autograph, Scotty Pippen. 135 00:12:18,700 --> 00:12:20,980 Yeah, well, you just ruined a $75 basketball. 136 00:12:22,400 --> 00:12:23,400 Man. 137 00:12:26,440 --> 00:12:29,600 Does anybody know who's been messing with my perfumes? 138 00:12:29,880 --> 00:12:31,180 Uh, that'd be me. 139 00:12:31,420 --> 00:12:36,480 See, you only add a little bit in each bottle. So I'll pour them all into one. 140 00:12:40,620 --> 00:12:45,660 3J, the purpose of having six different perfumes is so that you can smell six 141 00:12:45,660 --> 00:12:46,660 different ways. 142 00:12:51,790 --> 00:12:52,629 I'm sorry. 143 00:12:52,630 --> 00:12:54,750 I didn't mean to mess up everything. 144 00:13:04,750 --> 00:13:11,690 Steve, for the hundredth time, this is an open and 145 00:13:11,690 --> 00:13:12,790 shut case. 146 00:13:13,770 --> 00:13:18,530 I just think we should consider everything before we send Mr. Hayes to 147 00:13:18,710 --> 00:13:20,250 And that's very... 148 00:13:20,600 --> 00:13:24,960 Sweet of you, but the rest of us want to hang that dirt bag. 149 00:13:25,260 --> 00:13:26,260 Yeah! 150 00:13:26,660 --> 00:13:29,780 You saw the video. He's obviously guilty. 151 00:13:30,360 --> 00:13:33,800 I know it looks that way, but... But what? 152 00:13:34,120 --> 00:13:40,480 But... But I just got a feeling in the old Urkel gut that something is wrong. 153 00:13:42,600 --> 00:13:49,420 Steve, if you do not change your mind, the only thing in the old Urkel gut 154 00:13:49,420 --> 00:13:50,420 will be... 155 00:13:55,760 --> 00:13:58,900 If you don't bring in a verdict in the next half hour, we're going to have to 156 00:13:58,900 --> 00:14:00,260 sequester you all night. 157 00:14:00,960 --> 00:14:03,020 Come on, kids. 158 00:14:03,240 --> 00:14:04,400 You saw the tape. 159 00:14:04,840 --> 00:14:05,840 Videotapes don't lie. 160 00:14:34,630 --> 00:14:39,830 Yes. After a very enlightening discussion with Mr. Urkel, I have 161 00:14:39,830 --> 00:14:41,930 reopen the case and allow him to testify. 162 00:14:43,090 --> 00:14:44,090 Objection! 163 00:14:44,710 --> 00:14:48,370 Overall, proceed, Mr. Urkel. 164 00:14:50,430 --> 00:14:52,430 This is the video we've all seen. 165 00:14:52,630 --> 00:14:54,050 Yes, and we've all seen Mr. 166 00:14:54,330 --> 00:14:58,090 Hayes commit the crime with our own eyes. Come on, Your Honor. Ah, but can 167 00:14:58,090 --> 00:14:59,470 trust our own eyes? 168 00:15:13,160 --> 00:15:14,160 the store. 169 00:15:17,640 --> 00:15:23,920 No, he didn't. All I did was take a sample from Carl's vacation video, 170 00:15:23,920 --> 00:15:27,220 it into my computer, and insert it into the surveillance video. 171 00:15:48,720 --> 00:15:52,600 This little diversion is amusing, but, uh, what's the point? 172 00:15:52,840 --> 00:15:57,540 Ah, the point is, the real robber could have gotten a duplicate of David Hayes' 173 00:15:57,620 --> 00:16:02,360 uniform and robbed the store. Then all he had to do to the tape was digitally 174 00:16:02,360 --> 00:16:05,080 replace his face with the face of David Hayes. 175 00:16:06,360 --> 00:16:10,260 Okay, okay, that may be possible, but you can't prove that's what happened. 176 00:17:06,089 --> 00:17:10,670 the district attorney's office will be filing charges against Mr. Bozzelli. 177 00:17:10,849 --> 00:17:11,489 Your Honor. 178 00:17:11,490 --> 00:17:16,490 Good. The jury is excused. The charges against David Hayes are dismissed. 179 00:17:22,069 --> 00:17:23,069 Congratulations, 180 00:17:25,650 --> 00:17:28,410 Steve. You saved an innocent man from going to jail. 181 00:17:28,730 --> 00:17:31,930 Yes. We were wrong about you, nerd boy. 182 00:17:36,080 --> 00:17:39,380 You stood up to some pretty heavy pressure, mostly from me. 183 00:17:39,760 --> 00:17:42,340 I think that we all owe you an apology. 184 00:17:46,840 --> 00:17:47,840 Apology accepted. 185 00:18:23,980 --> 00:18:24,980 Pre -J? 186 00:18:25,420 --> 00:18:26,900 Honey, why are you doing up so early? 187 00:18:27,560 --> 00:18:33,000 Oh, I just had to urge to get up at dawn and iron my beautiful foster mother's 188 00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:34,000 clothes. 189 00:18:34,260 --> 00:18:36,120 Oh, that's so sweet. 190 00:18:41,920 --> 00:18:48,800 You might be using a little bit too much 191 00:18:48,800 --> 00:18:50,900 starch. You are so right. 192 00:18:52,570 --> 00:18:55,430 You know, I really appreciate all the extra chores you've been doing around 193 00:18:55,430 --> 00:18:57,990 here. Hey, I'm trying to pull my weight. 194 00:18:58,410 --> 00:19:02,850 I've been raising children for 20 years, and none of them would do all that work 195 00:19:02,850 --> 00:19:08,590 around here unless it was Mother's Day, or my birthday, or they had done 196 00:19:08,590 --> 00:19:09,569 something wrong. 197 00:19:09,570 --> 00:19:13,130 I didn't do anything wrong. I swear. Please don't send me back. 198 00:19:13,590 --> 00:19:14,590 Send you back? 199 00:19:14,910 --> 00:19:15,910 Send you back where? 200 00:19:16,450 --> 00:19:18,610 To the children's shelter. 201 00:19:19,270 --> 00:19:20,430 Well, why would I do that? 202 00:19:22,700 --> 00:19:24,800 foster family I've ever been with has sent me back. 203 00:19:25,200 --> 00:19:27,200 And I really like this place. 204 00:19:28,520 --> 00:19:30,940 Is that why you've been knocking yourself out around here? 205 00:19:31,420 --> 00:19:32,420 Kind of. 206 00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:35,000 I see. 207 00:19:36,240 --> 00:19:37,240 Come here, honey. 208 00:19:40,120 --> 00:19:46,960 3J, when Carl and I decided to be your foster parents, you became a member of 209 00:19:46,960 --> 00:19:47,960 our own family. 210 00:19:48,740 --> 00:19:51,000 Permanently. So you see, honey. 211 00:19:51,580 --> 00:19:54,880 You don't have to do all these extra chores to win our love. 212 00:19:55,380 --> 00:19:56,640 You already have it. 213 00:19:57,140 --> 00:19:58,600 And you always will. 214 00:20:05,740 --> 00:20:06,800 Does Mr. 215 00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:08,000 W. feel the same way? 216 00:20:08,180 --> 00:20:09,180 We all do. 217 00:20:09,520 --> 00:20:14,200 And, honey, if doing housework was the only way you could stay here, 218 00:20:14,920 --> 00:20:17,160 Eddie and Laura would have been gone years ago. 219 00:20:33,960 --> 00:20:34,960 One, two, three. 220 00:20:35,120 --> 00:20:36,380 One, two, three. 221 00:20:37,460 --> 00:20:40,220 Feel our strength and turn it up. 222 00:20:47,480 --> 00:20:48,840 What are you doing? 223 00:20:51,100 --> 00:20:53,340 I'm teaching my water beetle synchronized swimming. 15760