Original subtitles

Ask 3J that the whole idea of Big Brothers is to be friends with the

who spend time with you. Hey, I'm down with that.

100%. No lie.

Well, then can you explain why the last four Big Brothers we assigned you quit?

Whips.

said you scared him half to death.

Oh, big misunderstanding with Lenny. See, he didn't know that in my hood,

putting a snake down a guy's pants is a sign of respect.

Look, here's the bottom line, 3J.

Your aunt begged me to give you one last chance.

And personally, I don't like to give up on a kid.

I can see that.

will be a perfect role model an intelligent caring enthusiastic young

Who might you be more tall, Tenderoni?

Excuse me.

I think he's swinging.

Baby, get back.

Listen, you little slug.

Drool over somebody your own age like Baby Bob.

I'm 3J's little big brother.

We don't get to pick.

Neither did I.

You know, the Big Brothers program has helped a lot of kids.

Yeah. Maybe they can help me with my little problem.

What's that?

If I ever got sticky fingers.

Give me that! That's my watch!

Cobb, you sure got suckered.

Hey, look what I found.

Oh. Give me that, you little klepto.

Listen, people go warm to a guy who boosts their jewelry.

Now, come along.

I've got tickets to the International Bug Expo.

You know, that young man's cute, but I'm afraid he's trouble.

Oh, he just wants people to think he's tough. I bet deep down inside he's a

kid.

Harriet? Hmm?

What's going on here?

I'm scraping hand fat off of this brawler's what's going on over here.

No, no, I'm talking about this passbook.

This savings account passbook.

The savings account passbook with your name on it, but not mine.

Oh, well, that's nothing, Carl. It's just a little mad money.

Oh, you're right. That's exactly what it is, because it's making me mad.

Why? I just stashed away a little something for a rainy day.

Rainy day?

$1 ,200?

Not a rainy day, Harriet. That's a typhoon.

Okay, Carl, you busted me.

I'm saving up to buy a Learjet so I can run off to Rio with Antonio Banderas.

Oh, would you feel better if I told you what I was saving the money for? Oh, no,

no, no, no.

After all, I wouldn't want to pry.

Lord knows what you got stashed away.

A numbered Swiss bank account?

in the Cayman Islands? Huh? Huh?

Probably a whole other family up in Kenosha.

Hey, Carl. Hmm?

Up your Kenosha.

33 and a remainder of 4 twelfths. Or... 33 and a third.

Can't we do something fun, Erky?

It's Steve, and I really think we should concentrate on our schoolwork.

Tiger White, if it's fun that you're looking for, we'll switch to geography.

how to read, do you, 3J?

What? Sure I do.

That's my aunt. I'm out of here.

Now wait, little guy.

We can talk about things. No.

I'm done talking, and I'm done studying.

I don't need you as a big brother.

3J?

Hi, honey.

Harriet.

How was work, sweetheart?

I'm not telling.

It's a secret.

Harriet, where are my favorite cookies?

Or are you hiding them, too?

Here we go again.

Perhaps you have a concealed trap door where you hide your own ding -dongs.

I've only got one ding -dong, and I'm looking at him.

Very funny, Harriet.

But, you know, I'm not going to stand here and trade quips with you.

Because you know my motto.

If it doesn't move, eat it.

2 % per annum, baby.

Carl.

Sit down.

We're going to end this nonsense.

I'm going to tell you all the little dark secrets I've kept from you in the

years that we've been married. Uh -huh. I knew there was more.

Number one.

On our first date, My fingernails weren't real.

Number two, I never have and never will enjoy our annual visit to the

recreational vehicle show.

And number three, sometime last November when you got frisky and I told you I

had a headache, I didn't have a headache, Carl.

You lied to me, Harriet? Yes, I did.

Like the recreational vehicle show?

No.

Can't stand RVs.

Carl,

I'm hurt that after all these years, you would have so little faith in me.

Do you really think that I hid that money from you because I had some

motive?

Well, that's what it looked like.

I'm saving that money so that I could buy you this.

What is this?

Well, it was supposed to be your birthday present. But since you're so

suspicious, open it now.

I know, Carl.

I bought it.

Gotcha.

Harriet, how do you put up with me?

I have a secret husband who's nicer.

Harriet, I've been acting like a complete and total jerk.

At least now we can capture it on tape.

I'm sorry, Harriet.

I love you, Mrs. Winslow.

I love you too, Mr. Winslow.

You could be a pirate digging for buried...

I'm just touching call me Steve.

Hey, I know what we could do.

Let's go sit in the car and pretend we're helicopter pilots.

Nah, how about we take the car?

I don't take cars.

I don't pretend.

We can go to the park and play soccer.

We can go to the park and bet on soccer.

I don't bet.

I don't play.

Legos?

Get a life.