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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:05,260 What's the matter with her? 2 00:00:05,480 --> 00:00:07,820 I don't know. What's she picking on me for? I didn't do anything. 3 00:00:08,119 --> 00:00:10,640 Go. I don't think they like strangers. 4 00:00:32,129 --> 00:00:38,050 Mrs. Winslow, you are just so... Well, 5 00:00:41,690 --> 00:00:44,390 are you just going to sit there or are you going to do something about it? 6 00:00:46,270 --> 00:00:47,510 I'm going to do something about it. 7 00:01:03,760 --> 00:01:04,920 I am, I am. 8 00:01:08,560 --> 00:01:09,860 What do you want, Steve? 9 00:01:10,260 --> 00:01:12,580 Well, have either of you seen my tummy stone? 10 00:01:12,800 --> 00:01:14,400 I need to remove my calluses. 11 00:01:16,760 --> 00:01:18,120 Do you need it now? 12 00:01:18,420 --> 00:01:22,220 The instructions clearly state, best used when epidermal tissues are moist. 13 00:01:23,640 --> 00:01:27,140 Steve, we're trying to have a romantic moment here. 14 00:01:51,720 --> 00:01:52,720 I'm one of the top cowboy. 15 00:01:53,880 --> 00:01:55,540 He's happened to be my traveling date. 16 00:01:56,620 --> 00:02:02,640 Uh, I know I'm taking a big risk by asking this, but, uh, where you going? 17 00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:04,000 The airport. 18 00:02:07,360 --> 00:02:08,759 No, after that. 19 00:02:08,979 --> 00:02:09,979 The airplane. 20 00:02:13,700 --> 00:02:14,880 No, after that. 21 00:02:15,220 --> 00:02:16,220 Another airport. 22 00:02:17,720 --> 00:02:18,880 Where you gonna end up? 23 00:02:34,190 --> 00:02:35,190 Porto Santo? 24 00:02:35,770 --> 00:02:39,870 Ah, yes, Porto Santo. A small island off the coast of Honduras. 25 00:02:40,170 --> 00:02:42,470 Average temperature, a balmy 84 degrees. 26 00:02:43,030 --> 00:02:47,050 Population, 1 ,142. National pastime, cleaning up after hurricanes. 27 00:02:49,250 --> 00:02:53,090 Hey, Waldo. Hey, we better hurry up or we're going to get you to the airport on 28 00:02:53,090 --> 00:02:54,090 time. 29 00:02:55,810 --> 00:02:57,410 Wait, wait, wait, Waldo. 30 00:02:57,810 --> 00:03:01,730 Why on earth would you want to go to this Porto Santo place? 31 00:03:02,290 --> 00:03:03,290 One word. 32 00:03:03,550 --> 00:03:04,550 Good sauces. 33 00:03:08,210 --> 00:03:11,290 I've been selected to study with one of the great chefs of Latin cuisine. 34 00:03:11,690 --> 00:03:15,150 Juan Carlos de Manuel de Luis Romanos Escobar. 35 00:03:16,570 --> 00:03:17,570 Wow. 36 00:03:18,290 --> 00:03:22,090 Ruiz Arberos de Miguel Esperanto Villanueva. Oh, gee. 37 00:03:22,510 --> 00:03:25,350 Gomez Carnales Felipe Julio Bustamante. 38 00:03:52,430 --> 00:03:55,890 We played dodgeball, another useful skill in my adult life. 39 00:03:56,670 --> 00:03:59,990 Well, listen, I couldn't wait for you to get home. I have terrific news. 40 00:04:00,270 --> 00:04:01,270 Oh, Steve moved out. 41 00:04:02,890 --> 00:04:06,350 Even better. I found a very nice young man for you today. 42 00:04:07,610 --> 00:04:08,610 Uh -oh. 43 00:04:08,970 --> 00:04:10,850 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 44 00:04:11,550 --> 00:04:14,850 He's a freshman in college, and he's majoring in geology. 45 00:04:16,230 --> 00:04:17,230 Dweeb alert. 46 00:04:18,890 --> 00:04:20,970 How can you say that? You haven't even met him yet. 47 00:04:22,220 --> 00:04:23,400 What was his name, Mom? 48 00:04:24,220 --> 00:04:25,220 Junior. 49 00:04:28,420 --> 00:04:29,420 Junior? 50 00:04:29,740 --> 00:04:31,720 What's the matter, Mom? You couldn't find a Skippy? 51 00:04:33,740 --> 00:04:35,660 It's just what they call him. You know, it's a nickname. 52 00:04:36,140 --> 00:04:39,360 Ma, I am not going on a blind date with somebody named Junior. 53 00:04:40,900 --> 00:04:41,940 Okay, fine. 54 00:04:43,060 --> 00:04:44,280 But let me ask you something. 55 00:04:44,980 --> 00:04:46,780 What are your plans for this Saturday night? 56 00:04:47,660 --> 00:04:51,160 Well, Waldo's out of town, so I plan on hanging out with my good friend, Max. 57 00:04:52,010 --> 00:04:54,870 All right, Laura, I promised Mary Puckett I'd give her a back wax. 58 00:04:55,970 --> 00:04:56,970 Hairy Mary. 59 00:05:00,030 --> 00:05:01,410 That could be all nighter. 60 00:05:06,450 --> 00:05:08,390 All right, tell Junior to pick me up at 8. 61 00:05:08,690 --> 00:05:09,710 That's my girl. 62 00:05:22,410 --> 00:05:23,410 Wish I could say the same. 63 00:05:23,870 --> 00:05:28,210 Oh, see, guys? I have terrible, awful, very bad news. I know. You're here. 64 00:05:29,270 --> 00:05:30,270 No, Dad. 65 00:05:30,430 --> 00:05:31,490 Waldo's been arrested. 66 00:05:31,790 --> 00:05:34,270 Yes. He's in the Porto Santo, Cusco. 67 00:05:34,630 --> 00:05:35,930 Well, why? What happened? 68 00:05:36,310 --> 00:05:38,450 Oh, we don't know. We had a very bad connection. 69 00:05:38,810 --> 00:05:41,670 All we know is that Waldo was scared and very upset. 70 00:05:42,250 --> 00:05:44,230 Well, I better call his father right now. 71 00:05:44,890 --> 00:05:48,450 Oh, no, you can't. The Waldo family went kayaking in the Dolby Desert. 72 00:05:50,230 --> 00:05:51,610 But there's no water there. 73 00:05:52,140 --> 00:05:53,380 They think that's the challenge. 74 00:05:56,620 --> 00:05:58,880 What are we going to do, Dad? 75 00:06:00,540 --> 00:06:01,720 Well, I'll tell you what I'm going to do. 76 00:06:02,420 --> 00:06:06,000 I'm going to hop on a plane to Puerto Santo and get poor Waldo out of jail. 77 00:06:06,420 --> 00:06:08,400 Can I be a big guy? You're a cop. 78 00:06:08,620 --> 00:06:11,240 You can talk to the official and negotiate his release. 79 00:06:11,720 --> 00:06:13,240 I'm going to go with you. Me too. 80 00:06:13,520 --> 00:06:15,100 Oh, oh, oh, I'm sorry. No way, guys. 81 00:06:15,500 --> 00:06:17,980 But we have to go. You're going to need an interpreter. 82 00:06:18,520 --> 00:06:19,920 Well, you guys don't speak Spanish. 83 00:06:20,560 --> 00:06:22,640 No. But we do speak wild out. 84 00:06:36,300 --> 00:06:37,780 They call that an airport? 85 00:06:38,120 --> 00:06:40,700 A shack with a flashlight on the roof? 86 00:06:55,020 --> 00:06:56,020 Jaime Gutierrez Garcia. 87 00:06:56,860 --> 00:06:59,800 I am, uh, Lieutenant Carl Winslow, Chicago PD. 88 00:07:00,540 --> 00:07:03,420 I see. And how may I be of service to you? 89 00:07:03,680 --> 00:07:06,780 Well, we're here to secure the release of Waldo Faldo. 90 00:07:07,680 --> 00:07:09,100 El Desperado? 91 00:07:11,460 --> 00:07:13,720 Waldo? El Desperado? 92 00:07:14,420 --> 00:07:16,020 We know him as El Estúpido. 93 00:07:17,900 --> 00:07:21,900 Oh, yes, he hides his cleverness behind a mask video scene. 94 00:07:23,530 --> 00:07:25,510 Just what is Waldo in charge with? 95 00:07:25,730 --> 00:07:30,050 He was apprehended while trying to smuggle a rare antiquity out of the 96 00:07:30,630 --> 00:07:32,210 A rare antiquity? 97 00:07:36,130 --> 00:07:37,870 I heart Porto Santo. 98 00:07:39,310 --> 00:07:41,730 This is your idea of a rare antiquity? 99 00:07:41,950 --> 00:07:43,110 Well, excuse me. 100 00:07:43,950 --> 00:07:47,890 We have only been a nation for five years. This is the oldest boat in the 101 00:07:47,890 --> 00:07:48,890 country. 102 00:07:50,230 --> 00:07:51,470 Uh, look. 103 00:07:53,450 --> 00:07:58,170 and I are both officers of the law, and I was hoping as a show of professional 104 00:07:58,170 --> 00:08:00,250 courtesy that you and I could work something out. 105 00:08:00,790 --> 00:08:02,790 I think that would be possible. 106 00:08:03,250 --> 00:08:08,370 If he were to pay his fine, it would save us the costly expense of a trial 107 00:08:08,370 --> 00:08:10,070 fixing our electric stool. 108 00:08:11,030 --> 00:08:12,510 Don't you mean electric chair? 109 00:08:12,750 --> 00:08:14,390 We are a small country. 110 00:08:16,850 --> 00:08:18,890 Well, how much is his fine? 111 00:08:19,150 --> 00:08:20,150 $10 ,000. 112 00:08:20,530 --> 00:08:22,170 What? That's outrageous. 113 00:08:23,340 --> 00:08:25,320 I demand to see the chief of police. 114 00:08:25,700 --> 00:08:26,900 You're looking at him. 115 00:08:27,360 --> 00:08:28,339 The mayor. 116 00:08:28,340 --> 00:08:29,340 Speaking. 117 00:08:29,820 --> 00:08:32,960 The governor. I blush at my accomplishments. 118 00:08:35,140 --> 00:08:36,140 Wow. 119 00:08:36,700 --> 00:08:40,059 Aren't you a busy bee? Why, what are you doing in your spare time? 120 00:08:40,380 --> 00:08:42,080 I make ceramic bowls. 121 00:08:43,720 --> 00:08:46,560 All right, that's it. I am going to the American embassy. 122 00:08:46,880 --> 00:08:51,260 Ah, the American embassy is no more. It is now a kinkos. 123 00:08:52,699 --> 00:08:54,020 They're everywhere, you know. 124 00:08:54,280 --> 00:08:57,860 Hey, you know, them and Starbucks, you just see them popping up on every 125 00:08:58,820 --> 00:09:03,420 Can we at least speak to Waldo? Well, of course. I am a reasonable man. 126 00:09:08,020 --> 00:09:09,680 Desperado, you have visitors. 127 00:09:10,420 --> 00:09:11,420 Who is it? 128 00:09:11,640 --> 00:09:12,700 It's me, Steve. 129 00:09:13,320 --> 00:09:15,500 Merkle? Yeah, and me, Eddie. 130 00:09:15,860 --> 00:09:17,120 I'm here too, Waldo. 131 00:09:25,670 --> 00:09:28,010 That's it. If you pay the fine, he may go free. 132 00:09:28,370 --> 00:09:31,090 Otherwise, allow me to recommend an excellent lawyer. 133 00:09:32,370 --> 00:09:34,450 J .G. Garcia, attorney at law. 134 00:09:34,910 --> 00:09:36,310 How may I help you? 135 00:10:21,960 --> 00:10:25,240 It's like a prison in here. 136 00:10:28,160 --> 00:10:30,420 Actually, Waldo, it is a prison. 137 00:10:30,840 --> 00:10:32,500 Oh, God, it's worse than I thought. 138 00:10:33,580 --> 00:10:34,820 I'm losing track of time. 139 00:10:35,040 --> 00:10:36,340 Is Hillary Clinton still president? 140 00:10:38,760 --> 00:10:40,500 Waldo, it's only been four days. 141 00:10:41,020 --> 00:10:42,360 It seems like five. 142 00:10:42,640 --> 00:10:43,820 I can't take it in here. 143 00:10:44,260 --> 00:10:45,760 The walls are closing in on me. 144 00:10:49,770 --> 00:10:51,550 We gotta get him out of there. He's about to snap. 145 00:10:56,650 --> 00:10:57,650 Now, look, Waldo. 146 00:10:58,770 --> 00:11:02,730 You have been unjustly incarcerated by a corrupt official for a crime that you 147 00:11:02,730 --> 00:11:03,730 did not commit. 148 00:11:03,790 --> 00:11:06,290 Now, we are not leaving Puerto Santo without you. 149 00:11:06,950 --> 00:11:07,950 Hey, big guy. 150 00:11:07,970 --> 00:11:10,710 What? Are you thinking what I think you're thinking? 151 00:11:11,610 --> 00:11:12,610 Yes. 152 00:11:12,730 --> 00:11:17,930 Tonight, you, Eddie, and myself are gonna bust Waldo out of jail. 153 00:11:40,439 --> 00:11:43,320 Cool. Hello, ship. Can I crack you a nut? 154 00:11:44,580 --> 00:11:45,720 No, thanks, Grandma. 155 00:11:46,350 --> 00:11:49,530 If you don't pull that chin up off the floor, you're going to get a rug burn. 156 00:11:51,450 --> 00:11:52,450 Sorry. 157 00:11:53,150 --> 00:11:54,150 What's the matter, honey? 158 00:11:55,750 --> 00:11:59,690 Well, I let my mom talk me into going out on a blind date. She's picking me up 159 00:11:59,690 --> 00:12:00,690 in three hours. 160 00:12:00,710 --> 00:12:02,870 Oh, I understand. He's a college man. 161 00:12:03,270 --> 00:12:04,670 Yeah, he's majoring in geology. 162 00:12:05,330 --> 00:12:06,330 Uh -oh. 163 00:12:06,730 --> 00:12:07,730 Dweeb alert. 164 00:12:20,140 --> 00:12:21,440 Pizza for Harriet Winslow? 165 00:12:22,240 --> 00:12:23,480 Come in, come in. 166 00:12:25,700 --> 00:12:27,600 I'm Laura. 167 00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:30,060 Oh, put it on the table. Winslow. 168 00:12:31,080 --> 00:12:32,180 I'm David. 169 00:12:32,600 --> 00:12:34,020 That'll be $11 .46. 170 00:12:34,220 --> 00:12:35,220 Phillips. 171 00:12:37,380 --> 00:12:38,780 $15. Keep the change. 172 00:12:39,220 --> 00:12:40,220 Thanks. 173 00:12:45,780 --> 00:12:49,460 What? Oh, I'm sorry. I don't mean to stare. It's just that... 174 00:12:50,880 --> 00:12:51,960 Boy, you're so pretty. 175 00:12:55,220 --> 00:12:56,560 Well, you're not so bad yourself. 176 00:12:57,060 --> 00:13:00,300 I see Juliet's Pizza really has a Romeo working for them. 177 00:13:02,020 --> 00:13:03,020 Hey, thanks. 178 00:13:03,960 --> 00:13:10,860 Well... Listen, I know we just met, but I was just wondering, do you 179 00:13:10,860 --> 00:13:11,739 have a boyfriend? 180 00:13:11,740 --> 00:13:14,420 No, she's completely unattached. 181 00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:22,860 I get off work in a couple hours. Can I take you to dinner? 182 00:13:23,220 --> 00:13:24,340 Anything but pizza. 183 00:13:25,120 --> 00:13:27,220 Oh, I'd love to, but I already have a date tonight. 184 00:13:27,900 --> 00:13:29,000 Well, maybe some other time. 185 00:13:29,400 --> 00:13:30,400 You have my address. 186 00:13:30,820 --> 00:13:31,820 And your phone number. 187 00:13:31,900 --> 00:13:32,900 Use it. 188 00:13:32,980 --> 00:13:33,980 I will. 189 00:13:35,180 --> 00:13:36,420 Bye. Bye. 190 00:13:37,100 --> 00:13:38,100 Okay, see ya. 191 00:13:49,100 --> 00:13:51,860 Instead of going out with Juliet's Romeo, I'm stuck with Mother's Junior. 192 00:14:36,580 --> 00:14:39,960 We're here to bust you out. 193 00:14:40,680 --> 00:14:43,080 Thanks, guys, but I got three friends from the States who are going to handle 194 00:14:43,080 --> 00:14:44,080 it. 195 00:14:45,280 --> 00:14:46,340 It's us in disguise. 196 00:14:47,660 --> 00:14:48,660 Oh, cool. 197 00:14:50,620 --> 00:14:51,620 Where's Garcia? 198 00:14:52,040 --> 00:14:56,020 He went to Kinko. He elected himself judge today, so he wanted some new 199 00:14:56,020 --> 00:14:57,020 cards. 200 00:14:58,300 --> 00:14:59,300 Hey, 201 00:14:59,820 --> 00:15:00,820 where'd you get the neat old truck? 202 00:15:02,460 --> 00:15:04,220 Hurts. It does? 203 00:15:04,540 --> 00:15:05,700 Then use a seat cushion. 204 00:15:08,760 --> 00:15:10,080 Here's the deal, Waldo. 205 00:15:10,680 --> 00:15:13,360 You be quiet, and we'll get you out of here. 206 00:15:13,620 --> 00:15:14,620 Well, make it snappy. 207 00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:17,320 The guy in the next cell keeps calling me Chiquita. 208 00:16:34,120 --> 00:16:35,120 Nancy! 209 00:17:47,240 --> 00:17:48,240 I'm free. 210 00:17:48,340 --> 00:17:49,340 I want to take. 211 00:17:49,720 --> 00:17:50,720 I want a woman. 212 00:17:50,940 --> 00:17:52,540 I want to summer the night away. 213 00:18:00,440 --> 00:18:01,440 Aha! 214 00:18:01,760 --> 00:18:05,180 You are all under arrest for destroying ancient architecture. 215 00:18:06,620 --> 00:18:07,680 Ancient architecture? 216 00:18:08,180 --> 00:18:09,340 This is a mud hut. 217 00:18:09,820 --> 00:18:11,580 It is antique mud. 218 00:18:13,580 --> 00:18:18,840 And as the newly appointed judge, I sentence you to $10 ,000 apiece or 10 219 00:18:18,840 --> 00:18:19,599 in jail. 220 00:18:19,600 --> 00:18:22,280 Wait a minute, wait a minute. We don't have that kind of money. 221 00:18:23,280 --> 00:18:26,600 What is wrong with you people? Why are you so stingy? 222 00:18:28,000 --> 00:18:30,640 Well, because $10 ,000 is a lot of money. 223 00:18:30,960 --> 00:18:31,960 It's not here. 224 00:18:31,980 --> 00:18:33,620 Our money ain't worth diddly. 225 00:18:35,400 --> 00:18:40,100 Why? The Puerto Santo dollar has a different rate of exchange than the 226 00:18:40,100 --> 00:18:42,680 dollar. Didn't you see the poster at Kinko's? 227 00:18:44,620 --> 00:18:50,000 Wow. So how much is 10 ,000 Puerto Santo dollars in American money? 228 00:18:50,280 --> 00:18:51,280 Let's see. 229 00:19:15,920 --> 00:19:17,220 I'm glad everything worked out. 230 00:19:17,600 --> 00:19:21,340 Oh, yeah, I'll leave a message on the Waldo's answering machine that Waldo is 231 00:19:21,340 --> 00:19:22,340 fine. 232 00:19:22,540 --> 00:19:23,980 Well, safe, anyway. 233 00:19:25,680 --> 00:19:26,679 Okay, honey. 234 00:19:26,680 --> 00:19:27,680 All right, bye -bye. 235 00:19:31,080 --> 00:19:33,200 Oh, Laura, you look great. 236 00:19:33,920 --> 00:19:34,920 Thanks, Mom. 237 00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:36,760 Looking more like your mother every day. 238 00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:41,700 Can't get a smile out of you, huh? Not until I say goodnight to Junior. 239 00:19:43,260 --> 00:19:44,460 Oh, God, dear. 240 00:19:47,880 --> 00:19:48,880 a curfew tonight? 241 00:19:51,900 --> 00:19:52,900 Hi, 242 00:19:53,460 --> 00:19:57,560 Laura. David, what are you doing here? I'm here for our date. 243 00:19:58,000 --> 00:19:58,919 Hi, Junior. 244 00:19:58,920 --> 00:19:59,920 Hi, Mrs. Winslow. 245 00:20:01,940 --> 00:20:02,940 Junior? 246 00:20:03,180 --> 00:20:04,180 You're David? 247 00:20:04,920 --> 00:20:05,899 That's my nickname. 248 00:20:05,900 --> 00:20:07,100 My dad's name is David, too. 249 00:20:07,840 --> 00:20:09,820 This is the nice young man I was telling you about. 250 00:20:10,020 --> 00:20:13,060 See, your mother ordered pizza when she knew you'd be home. She wanted to see if 251 00:20:13,060 --> 00:20:14,060 we'd hit it off. 252 00:20:14,120 --> 00:20:16,700 I hope you don't mind, but I told her we did. 253 00:20:21,610 --> 00:20:22,910 You two have a nice time. 254 00:20:23,150 --> 00:20:24,150 Okay. 255 00:20:24,510 --> 00:20:26,730 Go ahead and start the car. I'll be right out. Okay. 256 00:20:27,050 --> 00:20:29,570 Thanks, Mrs. Winslow. Your next piece is on me. 257 00:20:29,810 --> 00:20:30,890 You're welcome. Thank you. 258 00:20:34,230 --> 00:20:35,169 Hey, Ma. 259 00:20:35,170 --> 00:20:36,170 Hmm? 260 00:20:38,190 --> 00:20:39,190 Cool move. 261 00:20:39,430 --> 00:20:41,330 Thanks. You like Junior? 262 00:20:41,570 --> 00:20:42,570 Yeah, a lot. 263 00:20:44,150 --> 00:20:46,790 Well, sometimes mothers have good instincts. 264 00:20:48,090 --> 00:20:49,090 You know... 265 00:20:49,610 --> 00:20:52,490 I don't know why I ever doubted your taste in men. After all, you did pick 266 00:20:52,490 --> 00:20:59,390 Daddy. Hey, Mom. 267 00:21:02,450 --> 00:21:03,930 Forget about that early Christmas. 18302