Original subtitles

Oh, I think that knocked something loose.

Steve, what are you doing here?

Sneezing, wheezing, and oozing, big guy.

Well, why don't you go to your own house and spread your germs?

Oh, it's lonely over there. My parents went to get airline tickets for the

annual Urkel family reunion.

Can you picture over a hundred Urkels gathered together in one house?

Please, not before I eat.

Say, that's a... good -looking savage.

Would you like half?

Oh, no thanks.

I'll just sit here and watch you enjoy it.

Stop. Stop.

Stop.

Stop.

Stop.

Stop. Stop.

Stop. Stop. Stop.

Stop. Stop. Stop.

Stop. Stop.

Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop.

Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop.

Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop.

Stop.

Stop. Stop.

Positive.

Good news on the newspaper page and love and tradition of the grand design.

Some people say it's even harder to find.

Well, there must be some magic clue inside these gentle walls.

Because all I see is a towel.

Hello, Father.

How's the best dad in the whole wide world?

Wooga! Wooga! Wooga!

Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding!

What's that?

That's my early warning system.

It goes off when my kids want money.

How'd you know?

Well, first it was your syrupy compliment.

Then it was your phony hug.

Dad, I need 75 bucks.

And unexpected expenses come up.

Oh, Edward, Edward, Edward.

What unexpected expense is it this time?

The election bill.

They really blindsided you with that one.

Edward, how many times have I told you that you gotta... Listen, Dad, Dad, I

don't want to hear election number 12 ,000, okay?

Well, then don't ask me for money 12 ,000 times, okay?

Look, if you don't want to give me the money, then just say so. I mean, stop

making me feel like a little kid.

Well, Edward, then stop acting like a little kid.

I mean, you have to budget your money. You have to plan ahead.

Do me a favor, Dad.

Come up with some new stuff when you criticize me. I mean, that plan ahead

is getting a little old.

So is your asking me for money.

Your IOUs are propping up the low end of the sofa.

Oh, Bridie, here you go, honey.

Your sweatpants are still in dry. Thanks, Mom.

Did you use a nice fabric softener? Yeah, and it's springtime fresh.

Aha!

What aha?

Harriet, you did his laundry for him.

I am trying to teach Edward about being responsible.

I mean, he should be doing his own laundry.

Oh.

You mean the way his father does his own laundry.

Okay.

Edward, I'm going to do you a favor.

You are? Mm -hmm.

I am not going to give you the $75.

That's a favor?

Yep.

That'll teach you to be self -reliant.

Edward, you are going to deal with this problem on your own instead of running

home to your moms and pops.

You got that?

Oh, I got it all right.

Thanks for the help, Dad.

Carl Winslow has been chosen to attend the National Symposium on DNA

Identification.

That's great, Carl. Yeah, Dad, where are you going?

Well, I leave for Detroit this weekend.

Yeah, but, Dad, you're supposed to come to my debate this weekend.

Oh.

Sweetheart, I'm sorry.

I tried to get a flight out the same night, but there were none available.

I'll go to the next debate with you.

Dad, this is the city finals.

There is no next one.

Carl, this was important to Laura.

You promised her you'd go. I know, Harriet, but I'm a lieutenant now.

I mean, I'm expected to attend these conferences.

I know, I know.

But it's a shame.

She was really counting on you.

Swell, Steve.

Yep. Now I won't get a nasty ear infection when I fly to Detroit.

Detroit?

You're flying to Detroit?

Yep.

flying to Detroit.

What airline?

Oh, I'm chartering a plane.

How come?

Oh, I'm banned from all commercial airlines.

You are?

Oh, yes. It all stems from an unfortunate incident that occurred on a

from Chicago to Denver that involved me, a faulty pet carrier, and a wolverine.

I received a nasty little gash on my forehead.

From the wolverine? No, from the flight.

I kept trying to tell her that the Wolverine would let go of her ankle as

as his ears popped. When she just kept bopping me over the head with a tray

table over and over and over and over.

You're taking a charter flight.

That means that you can come and go when you want.

cash in my airline ticket, go with you, and then be back in time for Laura's

debate.

Hey, we could be playing, pal.

Well,

there's a good and bad to everything.

That's fine.

Are you sure?

You look a little green around the gill.

I'm fine.

You got a bar?

No.

Why can't you keep the flame steady?

Sorry. Lots of turbulence today.

remember telling you my name.

You don't recognize me, do you?

Crazy? I wouldn't dream of doing something crazy.

We're in big trouble.

You and your annoying friends are about to die.

Die? Either of you know how to fly a plane?

I'll go over all these

So if we do, there's going to be some change.

Hi, Grandma.

Hi, Sugar. Hi, Mom.

Hi, baby.

Did you, uh, get that money to pay your electric bill?

Nope. My paycheck doesn't come to the end of the week, and they're gonna turn

off my power tomorrow.

What about Walter?

Could you borrow the money from him?

Uh -uh.

He foolishly blew his money on the gas bill.

Eddie, when you left here, we set up a budget.

You were supposed to stick to it. And I did.

Until I met Veronica.

And if you saw Veronica, well, you'd understand.

Son, you have got to get your priorities straight. You've got to learn to spend

your money on what's most important first.

I thought I did.

But I learned my lesson. I'm sorry, I'll never do it again. Can I have the

money, please, Mama? Look, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie.

Your father already said no.

And now you're trying me because you think I'm an easy mark.

But for once, it's just not gonna work.

Bye, baby.

Bye, Mom.

Eddie, how much did you say you needed?

75 bucks. Where am I gonna get that?

From the bank of Mother Winslow.

What?

I want you to take this.

You're giving me cash?

Poker winnings.

Grandma, are you sure? Mom and Dad already said no.

Honey, that's their job.

They're your parents.

They've got to be stern, teach you discipline.

But I still don't understand why you're giving me the money. Because I want to.

You see, parents have to say no.

But grandparents get to say yes.

Grandma, how can I ever thank you? By painting my living room this Saturday.

Two coats.

Okay,

now let's bring her back to level, Mr. Urkel.

You're doing quite well.

I'm taking these lessons because the last time I was in a plane, the pilot

jumped out.

Can you believe that?

Of course, my pal Carol landed the plane.

So I made it to the Urkel reunion in time to see my cousin Festus Urkel play

feelings on Kelly Jock.

And I'll be filling them with tapioca puddings to get those warm...