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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,670 --> 00:00:09,210 Attention shoppers, Steve Urkel is about to enter the mall. 2 00:00:09,430 --> 00:00:12,990 I repeat, Steve Urkel is entering the mall. 3 00:01:01,740 --> 00:01:07,840 It's a rare condition this day and age to read any good news on the newspaper 4 00:01:07,840 --> 00:01:14,000 page. And love and tradition of the grand design, some people say it's even 5 00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:15,200 harder to find. 6 00:01:16,380 --> 00:01:22,260 Well, then there must be some magic clue inside these gentle walls. 7 00:01:23,500 --> 00:01:30,420 Because all I see is a tower of dreams, real love bursting out of every scene. 8 00:01:35,950 --> 00:01:38,790 It's the bigger love of the family. 9 00:01:46,610 --> 00:01:50,890 David's Bridal announces a $99 gown sale. 10 00:02:06,030 --> 00:02:08,889 Kids, always watching music videos. 11 00:03:04,270 --> 00:03:05,270 We still got it, babe. 12 00:03:05,450 --> 00:03:07,190 Yes, just in different places. 13 00:03:08,830 --> 00:03:09,830 Hey, wait a minute. 14 00:03:10,050 --> 00:03:11,390 Why are you all dressed up like that? 15 00:03:11,810 --> 00:03:14,870 Well, the employment agency called me and I've got a job interview. 16 00:03:15,370 --> 00:03:17,010 Well, I hope it's better than your last job. 17 00:03:17,570 --> 00:03:18,570 Proofreading M &Ms. 18 00:03:21,530 --> 00:03:22,509 Me too. 19 00:03:22,510 --> 00:03:24,510 And listen, while I'm gone, you're going to have to watch Richie. 20 00:03:25,070 --> 00:03:27,650 Oh, Harriet, come on. Now this is my day off. 21 00:03:28,430 --> 00:03:30,090 Why can't Eddie or Laura babysit? 22 00:03:30,310 --> 00:03:31,289 They're at the mall. 23 00:03:31,290 --> 00:03:32,610 Well, they're always at the mall. 24 00:03:33,200 --> 00:03:35,540 Why doesn't everybody in this house just move into the mall? 25 00:03:35,840 --> 00:03:37,100 Oh, Carl, calm down. 26 00:03:37,480 --> 00:03:38,359 I know. 27 00:03:38,360 --> 00:03:41,520 I'll call my mother to babysit. She can't. Why not? She's at the mall. 28 00:03:44,820 --> 00:03:46,120 Hi, Harriet. Hi, sweetie. 29 00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:48,260 Uncle Carl, this is Little G. 30 00:03:48,660 --> 00:03:49,740 He's new to the hood. 31 00:03:50,080 --> 00:03:51,180 Well, hello, Little G. 32 00:04:13,670 --> 00:04:16,209 When you guys get your new uniforms, what are you going to do with the old 33 00:04:17,550 --> 00:04:18,550 Toss them, I guess. 34 00:04:18,870 --> 00:04:19,870 That's wasteful. 35 00:04:20,550 --> 00:04:22,050 You should give them to the homeless cheerleaders. 36 00:04:28,330 --> 00:04:29,370 Hi, how much are your tickets? 37 00:04:29,670 --> 00:04:30,890 Hi, um, they're a dollar. 38 00:04:31,170 --> 00:04:32,750 But a book of ten is only nine dollars. 39 00:04:33,390 --> 00:04:34,390 Okay, I'll take a book. 40 00:04:43,820 --> 00:04:44,739 That's my girlfriend. 41 00:04:44,740 --> 00:04:47,620 And if you smile at her one more time, we're going to have to play rip the nose 42 00:04:47,620 --> 00:04:48,620 off pretty boy. 43 00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:53,080 Oh, I'm shaking. 44 00:04:53,520 --> 00:04:55,080 Hey, I don't care what religion you are. 45 00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:00,400 Scram. 46 00:05:06,300 --> 00:05:07,880 Waldo, stop being so jealous. 47 00:05:08,160 --> 00:05:10,840 I have a right to be jealous. That fancy pants was flirting with you. 48 00:05:11,310 --> 00:05:13,770 He wasn't flirting with me. He smiled at me. 49 00:05:14,410 --> 00:05:15,410 Oh, please. 50 00:05:15,530 --> 00:05:19,590 Think, Max. When you rearrange the letters and smile, you get the word lies 51 00:05:19,590 --> 00:05:20,590 I am left over. 52 00:05:24,410 --> 00:05:25,850 Sometimes he worries me. 53 00:05:47,500 --> 00:05:48,540 Do you like my dress? 54 00:05:49,700 --> 00:05:50,700 Uh -huh. 55 00:05:52,380 --> 00:05:54,940 It's on sale. Just $49 .95. 56 00:05:55,260 --> 00:05:56,260 It's Spoon. 57 00:05:57,860 --> 00:05:58,860 Spoon? 58 00:06:00,780 --> 00:06:04,300 Yes, that's S -P -O -O. 59 00:06:10,180 --> 00:06:11,440 She wants you, man. 60 00:06:12,820 --> 00:06:15,140 What? She's too old for me. 61 00:06:15,610 --> 00:06:16,690 So learn from your elders. 62 00:06:16,930 --> 00:06:17,930 Why don't you do some tango? 63 00:06:19,950 --> 00:06:20,950 Hmm. 64 00:06:21,150 --> 00:06:25,450 Well, she did kind of give me a little look when she said, spools. 65 00:06:27,350 --> 00:06:30,470 Yeah, I saw that look. It melted the elastic in my underpants. 66 00:06:32,570 --> 00:06:34,170 Hi, my little wraparounder. 67 00:06:34,890 --> 00:06:36,250 Oh, Joy, it's Steve. 68 00:06:37,490 --> 00:06:40,710 Now, I'm having a little problem with Myra. 69 00:06:40,970 --> 00:06:42,090 Well, what's wrong now? 70 00:06:43,170 --> 00:06:45,170 That new viral wench is a mother... 71 00:06:46,250 --> 00:06:49,290 Your wife, she follows me around like I'm a sick puppy. 72 00:06:49,730 --> 00:06:51,010 What should I do, Laura? 73 00:06:51,710 --> 00:06:53,010 Just do what I do to you. 74 00:06:53,410 --> 00:06:54,410 Ignore. 75 00:06:55,150 --> 00:06:56,790 Well, obviously that doesn't work. 76 00:06:58,250 --> 00:07:01,890 Well, okay, then just tell us the truth. You're too young to get so serious. You 77 00:07:01,890 --> 00:07:02,890 need a little space. 78 00:07:03,590 --> 00:07:04,790 Ah, the truth, huh? 79 00:07:05,950 --> 00:07:06,950 Hmm. 80 00:07:07,530 --> 00:07:08,990 That's just crazy enough to watch. 81 00:07:48,330 --> 00:07:49,330 water guns? 82 00:07:49,930 --> 00:07:52,530 Don't shoot them in the house and only get Eddie wet. 83 00:07:53,450 --> 00:07:54,450 Right. 84 00:07:54,670 --> 00:07:56,730 Now, why don't you two go do something dry? 85 00:07:59,070 --> 00:08:01,590 We're bored, Uncle Carl. We want you to play with us. 86 00:08:02,470 --> 00:08:04,670 Well, what do you want to do? Want to go role -playing? 87 00:08:04,890 --> 00:08:07,410 No. Want to play soccer? No. Want to shoot some hoops? No. 88 00:08:07,850 --> 00:08:09,210 Don't you want to do anything? 89 00:08:09,450 --> 00:08:11,070 Sure. Come up with something. 90 00:08:13,450 --> 00:08:16,230 I bet you just want to plop on the couch and watch TV. 91 00:08:19,980 --> 00:08:21,060 Okay, you win. 92 00:08:22,980 --> 00:08:23,980 Ow! 93 00:08:24,800 --> 00:08:25,800 What's the matter? 94 00:08:26,640 --> 00:08:29,300 It... It... It's my back. 95 00:08:30,160 --> 00:08:31,160 Does it hurt? 96 00:08:31,720 --> 00:08:33,140 Well, let's see. 97 00:08:40,840 --> 00:08:41,840 I'm sorry, guys. 98 00:08:42,360 --> 00:08:44,240 Looks like I'm not going to be able to play with you. 99 00:08:54,410 --> 00:08:57,170 And little Richie, would you hand me that clicker, please? Okay. 100 00:08:57,650 --> 00:08:58,650 Thanks. 101 00:09:00,830 --> 00:09:01,830 Oh! Ah. 102 00:09:02,350 --> 00:09:03,269 Oh, yeah. 103 00:09:03,270 --> 00:09:04,270 Real bad. 104 00:09:04,450 --> 00:09:05,450 Stinging pain. 105 00:09:05,770 --> 00:09:06,770 Really? 106 00:09:07,810 --> 00:09:08,810 I'm good. 107 00:09:14,470 --> 00:09:15,470 Stevie Poo? 108 00:09:16,050 --> 00:09:17,050 Yes, A -Poo. 109 00:09:18,470 --> 00:09:22,950 Well, we've been seeing each other for a while now, and don't you think it's... 110 00:09:22,990 --> 00:09:24,330 time that you made a commitment to me? 111 00:09:25,030 --> 00:09:26,350 Well, I believe I have. 112 00:09:26,630 --> 00:09:28,850 I let you buff your car with my old boxer shorts. 113 00:09:30,170 --> 00:09:32,550 Yes, and my head is still spinning. 114 00:09:34,150 --> 00:09:38,330 Actually, I was hoping that we could go steady. 115 00:09:40,350 --> 00:09:41,510 Steady? Yes. 116 00:09:42,010 --> 00:09:46,210 So if you wanted to get your ring or an ID bracelet, I'd be willing to pay for 117 00:09:46,210 --> 00:09:47,210 it. 118 00:10:19,050 --> 00:10:22,030 Maybe we could sort of see other people for a while. 119 00:10:23,550 --> 00:10:24,550 Steven? 120 00:10:25,130 --> 00:10:26,130 Steven, 121 00:10:27,250 --> 00:10:28,250 I don't understand. 122 00:10:28,590 --> 00:10:32,370 What's wrong with me? I'm not smart enough? Oh, no, it's not that. Oh, 123 00:10:32,370 --> 00:10:33,370 brilliant. 124 00:10:35,370 --> 00:10:36,550 I'm not pretty enough? 125 00:10:36,790 --> 00:10:40,130 Oh, no, you're gorgeous. Why, haven't you noticed the way middle -aged men 126 00:10:40,130 --> 00:10:41,130 at you? 127 00:11:14,410 --> 00:11:15,410 is what you get. 128 00:11:53,660 --> 00:11:54,660 Sweetheart, I'll tell you what. 129 00:11:55,020 --> 00:11:56,640 I'm going to buy a whole book of those tickets. 130 00:11:57,000 --> 00:11:59,200 Thanks. But I'll buy two books if you'll go out with me. 131 00:12:06,380 --> 00:12:07,380 Uh -huh. 132 00:12:08,360 --> 00:12:09,360 Who are you? 133 00:12:09,500 --> 00:12:11,040 I'm her steady, Freddy. Oh, yeah? 134 00:12:11,380 --> 00:12:12,380 Says who? 135 00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:13,920 Don't make me get out of this trash can. 136 00:12:15,620 --> 00:12:19,100 Look, you'd better go. He's very jealous. She's also crazy. 137 00:12:19,500 --> 00:12:21,000 Crazy? Crazy. I'm so crazy. 138 00:12:38,830 --> 00:12:39,830 Hello again, boys. 139 00:12:40,130 --> 00:12:42,670 This dress is also on sale at Spoofs. 140 00:12:46,970 --> 00:12:47,970 Did you see that? 141 00:12:48,370 --> 00:12:52,590 What? She gave you a little extra lip action when she says Spoofs. See, like 142 00:12:52,590 --> 00:12:53,590 this. 143 00:12:56,930 --> 00:12:57,930 That's all right. 144 00:12:59,150 --> 00:13:02,270 You really think she's interested in me? She came back, didn't she? 145 00:13:03,050 --> 00:13:04,090 She's hoping for you. 146 00:13:05,850 --> 00:13:07,010 Make your movie, man. 147 00:13:27,850 --> 00:13:34,370 me miss uh garcelle ah garcelle beautiful name i'm edward what can i do 148 00:13:34,370 --> 00:13:39,090 edward well i think you are fabulously fly and i was wondering maybe baby if 149 00:13:39,090 --> 00:13:44,810 you'd like to have dinner with me sometime that's really sweet edward but 150 00:13:44,810 --> 00:13:50,990 go out with men my own age i never date college kids well what about high school 151 00:13:50,990 --> 00:13:51,990 kids 152 00:14:06,090 --> 00:14:07,210 We hit it off instantly. 153 00:14:08,550 --> 00:14:09,690 She shot you down? 154 00:14:09,910 --> 00:14:10,910 Yeah. 155 00:14:12,350 --> 00:14:13,350 Too bad, man. 156 00:14:13,750 --> 00:14:14,930 I led you astray. 157 00:14:16,290 --> 00:14:17,630 Must have been me she wanted. 158 00:14:19,710 --> 00:14:20,890 Step aside, Eduardo. 159 00:14:22,910 --> 00:14:24,130 Hey, yo, tall thing. 160 00:14:24,410 --> 00:14:25,730 How'd you like to buy me lunch? 161 00:14:28,250 --> 00:14:29,250 Hey, come here! 162 00:14:33,310 --> 00:14:34,310 I'm a get -off. 163 00:14:47,020 --> 00:14:50,300 For the next two weeks, I'm in charge of security for the Mr. Universe contest. 164 00:14:50,580 --> 00:14:51,580 Well, congratulations. 165 00:14:52,340 --> 00:14:53,340 How's the pay? 166 00:14:53,660 --> 00:14:55,780 Lousy. But I get to frisk everyone. 167 00:14:58,440 --> 00:14:59,520 Why aren't you kids playing? 168 00:14:59,860 --> 00:15:01,220 Oh, Carl heard it back. 169 00:15:01,520 --> 00:15:02,520 You did? 170 00:15:02,560 --> 00:15:03,479 Oh, Carl. 171 00:15:03,480 --> 00:15:04,480 Oh, well. 172 00:15:07,480 --> 00:15:08,480 Hey, guys. 173 00:15:08,760 --> 00:15:10,300 I got a little confession to make. 174 00:15:11,260 --> 00:15:13,560 I, uh, I tricked you. 175 00:15:15,560 --> 00:15:16,560 What do you mean? 176 00:15:16,570 --> 00:15:19,730 Well, there's nothing really wrong with my back. See? 177 00:15:20,650 --> 00:15:23,050 I just said that so you guys would stop bugging me. 178 00:15:24,110 --> 00:15:25,730 Tom, that's dishonest. 179 00:15:25,950 --> 00:15:29,210 No, it isn't. It's using the old noggin. 180 00:15:30,950 --> 00:15:33,630 Actually, Uncle Carl, we tricked you. 181 00:15:34,470 --> 00:15:35,470 What do you mean? 182 00:15:35,770 --> 00:15:38,590 We knew all along there was nothing wrong with your back. 183 00:15:40,270 --> 00:15:41,270 You did? 184 00:15:41,590 --> 00:15:44,090 Sure. Well, then why didn't you say so? 185 00:15:45,290 --> 00:15:48,570 He wanted you to be in a good mood when we told you that we broke your bowling 186 00:15:48,570 --> 00:15:49,570 trophy. 187 00:15:51,550 --> 00:15:53,930 Richie, that is dishonest. 188 00:15:54,230 --> 00:15:57,190 No, it isn't. That's using the old noggin. 189 00:16:26,250 --> 00:16:29,050 I was in the parking lot chasing lover boy when out of nowhere came this bus. 190 00:16:29,550 --> 00:16:30,870 You got hit by a bus? 191 00:16:31,290 --> 00:16:32,069 Not me. 192 00:16:32,070 --> 00:16:33,070 Just the bike. 193 00:16:33,270 --> 00:16:34,790 Fortunately, I flew off and landed on a nun. 194 00:16:37,250 --> 00:16:38,870 Now, would you excuse us? 195 00:16:39,510 --> 00:16:40,510 Gladly. 196 00:16:43,410 --> 00:16:45,170 Don't worry, Max. My dad can fix the bike. 197 00:16:45,530 --> 00:16:47,410 But who's going to fix us, Waldo? 198 00:16:48,110 --> 00:16:49,110 What do you mean? 199 00:16:52,850 --> 00:16:54,330 I've had it with your jealousy. 200 00:16:54,860 --> 00:16:56,920 You get mad at every guy that comes near me. 201 00:16:57,520 --> 00:16:59,080 And I can't stand it anymore. 202 00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:01,240 We're through, Waldo. 203 00:17:01,820 --> 00:17:02,820 What? 204 00:17:03,140 --> 00:17:04,560 You heard me. It's over. 205 00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:06,000 No, Mac. 206 00:17:06,099 --> 00:17:07,300 You gotta give me another chance. 207 00:17:07,500 --> 00:17:08,500 Please. 208 00:17:09,140 --> 00:17:10,599 Why do you act so crazy? 209 00:17:12,060 --> 00:17:13,060 I don't know. 210 00:17:13,260 --> 00:17:14,260 Come on, Waldo. 211 00:17:14,720 --> 00:17:16,720 Did you act like this with your other girlfriend? 212 00:17:19,460 --> 00:17:22,619 Truth is, I haven't had a whole lot of girlfriends. 213 00:17:23,640 --> 00:17:27,640 I mean, There's been girls I like, but you're the first one that ever liked me 214 00:17:27,640 --> 00:17:28,640 back. 215 00:17:28,660 --> 00:17:30,940 Oh, Waldo. I don't want to lose you, Mac. 216 00:17:31,440 --> 00:17:32,980 I don't want to lose you either. 217 00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:38,020 But you have to trust me. And you have to believe me when I tell you I'm only 218 00:17:38,020 --> 00:17:39,020 interested in you. 219 00:17:40,620 --> 00:17:42,800 I'll try, but it's not easy. 220 00:17:43,680 --> 00:17:44,680 Why not? 221 00:17:46,580 --> 00:17:48,440 Because I honestly don't know why you like me. 222 00:17:51,160 --> 00:17:53,300 Because you're a kind soul with a good heart. 223 00:17:54,220 --> 00:17:55,119 I am? 224 00:17:55,120 --> 00:17:56,300 Yep. What else? 225 00:17:56,940 --> 00:17:57,940 You make me laugh. 226 00:17:58,260 --> 00:17:59,260 I do? 227 00:18:01,360 --> 00:18:02,360 Thanks, man. 228 00:18:03,960 --> 00:18:06,580 But I still think I should be number two on the all -time hot I get so lucky 229 00:18:06,580 --> 00:18:07,580 list. 230 00:18:07,660 --> 00:18:08,880 Well, who's number one? 231 00:18:09,240 --> 00:18:10,240 Loud love it. 232 00:18:26,280 --> 00:18:29,020 How is Myra? I know I saw her run off crying. 233 00:18:29,340 --> 00:18:31,060 How it made me feel awful. 234 00:18:32,100 --> 00:18:34,720 Now maybe you see how I feel when I try to get rid of you. 235 00:18:36,120 --> 00:18:37,120 What do you mean? 236 00:18:38,820 --> 00:18:43,900 Well, you always look so sad and pitiful and it makes me feel sorry for you. And 237 00:18:43,900 --> 00:18:45,380 I always end up apologizing. 238 00:18:45,800 --> 00:18:47,840 I just can't figure out why I do that. 239 00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:52,000 You love me, don't you? 240 00:19:02,760 --> 00:19:04,740 Lucy, would you mind returning to your silly raffle? 241 00:19:08,460 --> 00:19:12,300 I'll see you two later. And if there's a God, much later. 242 00:19:14,880 --> 00:19:16,760 Myra, are you okay? 243 00:19:17,180 --> 00:19:18,180 No, Stephen. 244 00:19:18,620 --> 00:19:20,900 Please change your mind about dumping me. 245 00:19:21,140 --> 00:19:24,340 I've tried living without you, but it was simply unbearable. 246 00:19:24,960 --> 00:19:27,420 My God, woman, it's only been 20 minutes. 247 00:19:41,749 --> 00:19:45,570 I'm sorry, but I just have no shame when you're concerned. 248 00:19:46,270 --> 00:19:47,270 Now, listen. 249 00:19:47,910 --> 00:19:52,730 I'm so sorry I upset you. I never meant to hurt your feelings. 250 00:19:53,230 --> 00:19:54,950 You're such a noble man. 251 00:19:56,010 --> 00:19:59,170 Well, I've been thinking. 252 00:20:00,050 --> 00:20:02,650 Perhaps we could continue seeing each other. 253 00:20:02,950 --> 00:20:04,530 But only occasionally. 254 00:20:05,350 --> 00:20:06,710 I just can't. 255 00:20:07,240 --> 00:20:08,240 And that hurts your feelings. 256 00:20:11,620 --> 00:20:12,960 You love me, don't you? 257 00:20:18,080 --> 00:20:19,080 Okay. 258 00:20:19,980 --> 00:20:21,140 New game plan. 259 00:20:21,820 --> 00:20:24,760 It's not that I've been pursuing you too hard. 260 00:20:25,080 --> 00:20:27,880 It's that I haven't been pursuing you hard enough. 261 00:20:28,500 --> 00:20:34,080 What? I want you, Stephen Q. Urkel, and I won't rest until I have you. 262 00:20:34,280 --> 00:20:35,860 My reputation. You're a 12. 263 00:20:36,590 --> 00:20:41,390 Point buck, and you're staring down the barrel of my 30 -odd six. 264 00:20:43,810 --> 00:20:44,810 Bang. 265 00:20:47,010 --> 00:20:52,870 Are you okay? 266 00:20:53,090 --> 00:20:55,550 No, I'm not. The woman's wacko, la. 267 00:20:55,970 --> 00:20:58,490 Why, she simply won't take no for an answer. 268 00:20:58,690 --> 00:21:02,210 What do you do when someone is just obsessed with you? 269 00:21:03,390 --> 00:21:04,390 Beats me. 270 00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:24,240 It's coming. 271 00:21:24,620 --> 00:21:28,940 Kyle XY returns Monday, June 11th with an all -new season. 272 00:21:29,500 --> 00:21:32,940 And this Monday. You can find out if those dreams that you're having are 273 00:21:33,120 --> 00:21:34,420 An astonishing clue. 274 00:21:34,740 --> 00:21:35,740 It's you. 275 00:21:36,180 --> 00:21:37,180 1985. 276 00:21:37,560 --> 00:21:39,280 Leads to a forbidden place. 277 00:21:39,660 --> 00:21:42,680 In just three weeks, the all -new season begins. 18614