Original subtitles

Hey! Sorry, but I got great news for you.

You finally gonna pay me that money you owe me?

Get real.

My friend Derek from Mighty Winnie wants to go out with you.

Forget it, I don't like blind dates.

Well, why not?

That's how I met Steve Urkel.

Oh, yeah.

But Derek is nothing like Steve.

His pants go all the way down to his shoes.

And I'm sure he has a great personality, too, but...

Blonde dates are uncomfortable, and I just don't feel like going through that.

But, Laura, you don't get... Stop it, Eddie. You're not going to convince me

go out with some loser friend of yours who can't get a date unless he begs his

manager at Mighty Weenie to set him up with Hello There.

Laura, Derek.

Derek, Laura.

Hi, Laura.

Hello, Derek.

So my brother tells me you'd like to go out with me?

Yeah, that's right.

Well, Derek...

I'm an old -fashioned girl, and I hardly know you at all, so if you wish to take

me out on a date, you're going to have to convince me.

Please? Okay.

It's a rare condition.

This day and age to read any good news on the newspaper page.

And love and tradition of the grand design.

Some people say it's even harder to find.

Well, then there must be some magic clue inside these gentle walls.

Because all I see is a tower of dreams. Real lovers in every scene.

It's the bigger love of the family.

Okay, here's the skinny.

Since you wore out the numbers on our credit card, we have accumulated a

whopping 3 ,000 points that we can exchange for a free gift.

Ooh, let's let our fingers do the shopping.

Oh, I like that.

Oh. Wow, look at this TV.

Surround sound, picture in picture, remote control.

Let's get it.

Look at that refrigerator.

Well, yeah, it's nice.

Nice? Yeah. It's beautiful.

Frost free, ice maker, 21 cubic feet.

Could hold a lot of pie, Carl.

I want the TV, Harriet.

The refrigerator, Carl.

The TV, Harriet.

All right, here's the solution.

I get the TV now, and then when we build up another 3 ,000 points, you get the

fridge. Well, why not the other way around?

Because I thought of it first.

The refrigerator, Carl.

The TV, Harriet.

Fridge.

TV. Refrigerator.

I don't know why we're arguing here, because I'm the

breadwinner in the house, and it's my paycheck that's earning most of the

Oops.

I can't believe you said that, Carl.

No, I can't either, sweetheart. I'm really sorry.

So you didn't mean it? No, I meant it. I just shouldn't have said it.

I

can't

believe we've only been going out for a week.

Feels like I've known you forever.

Yeah, it's amazing. We just clicked.

There's only one thing I regret.

What's that?

We haven't done this Morocco.

Well, knock me over with cheese.

Stevie. What?

Let's forget all about them and concentrate on us.

Why, Myra, you smell so... so

pretty.

What is that scent?

It's my favorite fragrance called Tigress.

It's not me, Laura. It's just somebody who looks a lot like me.

Gotcha.

Uh, Waldo. What's up?

This is a drive -in.

I know that.

But my truck's in the shop.

What movie are we seeing anyway?

It's a double feature.

The Age of Innocence and Spit Them Eyeballs Out.

Get ready, baby.

This is gonna be a hot night.

on to your suspenders, Stevie, because I'm going to turn this car into a sauna.

Do you have any gray, Poupon?

No.

Thanks anyway.

Amazing.

Waldo's IQ was two points higher. His IQ would be two.

Derek, Waldo's one of my best friends.

Oh, mine too.

I love the guy.

But not as much as I love you.

Let's just watch the movie, okay?

Just one little kiss.

Just one.

Just one.

Okay.

little pushy too what i don't kill him calm down steve i can handle it okay but

if you need help any help at all you just call for the earth man okay

okay and will you protect me from my

mouth -watering aroma.

Pot roast.

Pot roast.

My all -time favorite meal.

Holy moly!

Oven -roasted potatoes and a vegetable medley to boot.

You know, I am so lucky.

Lucky, lucky, lucky, lucky, lucky, lucky.

Lucky.

Not only is my wife intelligent, beautiful, and charming, She's also the

cook in the whole wide world.

No need to chew. Just melts in your mouth.

Harriet, this is the best meal you have ever made.

Thank you.

Here's your bill.

our relationship is based on money, I guess I'll have to start charging you

my services.

Oh, but, Harry, now, wait a minute. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, and, uh, here's the bill

for your laundry.

Twenty -eight bucks?

That includes ironing.

And, uh, that's the bill for last night.

Okay, sweetie pie.

No, Waldo. I'm cold and I want to go home.

But it's the middle of the movie. If we leave now, we'll look stupid.

It's too late for that.

All right, then watch the stupid movie.

Good girl.

Stop it,

Derek. I want to watch the movie.

Why? We can always rent it later.

I want to watch it now.

Fine.

Move that hand.

Steven, come down here.

Why not?

Because you're trying to take advantage.

you like it.

Stop it, Mama.

Come on, hunky stuff. You know you like it.

I told you I'd like to watch the movie.

Get real, Laura.

Nobody comes to a drive -in to watch the movie.

That's not true.

Lots of people go to the drive -in just to watch the movie.

Why don't you look at that couple over there?

Steven, they're old.

They've got to be pushing 30.

I thought you liked me.

I do, but we've only been seeing each other for a week. I know. So how long do

you expect me to wait?

Well, I do like you, Myra.

But we've only been seeing each other for eight months.

What did you call me? A baby. That's exactly what you're acting like.

You try to force me into doing something I don't want to do, and then you call

me names?

That's it, Myra. Take it back. Right now.

Well, I'm sorry, but that's what you're acting like.

I am not a mama's boy.

Why don't you know my mother doesn't even like me?

Well, I really care about you.

No, you don't. Because if you did, you'd understand how I feel.

Well, maybe I'd care about you more if you just loosened up a little bit.

But, Steven, I love you.

Well, if you do, you truly do, you'll wait until I'm ready.

You're right.

I am?

Absolutely. If you're uncomfortable about this in any way, then it'll be

for the both of us.

After all, a catch like you is worth the wait.

Oh, thank you, Myra.

So long, Derek. Have a nice life.

I thought you were cool.

I am.

And I just proved it.

Sure you do.

A little surprise for you. Come on.

Watch your step.

Be careful now. Watch your step. Here we go.

All right. Ready?

the refrigerator you wanted.

Why aren't you happy?

You don't get it, do you, Carl?

No, I don't.

This is not about a refrigerator.

My problem is your attitude.

Oh, come on.

Are you going to tell me that I can't even buy my way out of this?

Carl, you know exactly why I'm so upset. Now let me know when you want to talk

about it. All right, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.

Sweetheart, you are right.

Our marriage is not about who earns the most money.

We're supposed to be equal partners.

I was way out of line, and I'm sorry.

Would you accept a plea of temporary chauvinism?

Okay.

Tell you.

Come over here to the doghouse.