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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,340 --> 00:00:06,360 Heather? Yes? 2 00:00:06,620 --> 00:00:08,460 Baby, I'm sure glad dinner's over. 3 00:00:08,720 --> 00:00:09,379 How come? 4 00:00:09,380 --> 00:00:10,780 Because now it's time for dessert. 5 00:00:11,160 --> 00:00:12,160 All right. 6 00:00:12,900 --> 00:00:13,900 Hidey -ho, little! 7 00:00:21,020 --> 00:00:23,800 Oops. Apparently I caught you with your hands full. 8 00:00:25,440 --> 00:00:28,300 Steve, I hate to be rude, but get out. 9 00:00:29,380 --> 00:00:33,200 Well, wait a minute. You haven't introduced me to your pretty pucker 10 00:00:34,890 --> 00:00:38,450 Steve Urkel. Don't tell me, don't tell me, don't tell me. 11 00:00:39,070 --> 00:00:41,410 You've talked about her ad nauseum. 12 00:00:41,750 --> 00:00:43,570 You must be the lovely Sherry. 13 00:01:28,330 --> 00:01:34,350 It's a rare condition, this day and age, to read any good news on the newspaper 14 00:01:34,350 --> 00:01:40,610 page. And love and tradition of the grand design, some people say, is even 15 00:01:40,610 --> 00:01:41,810 harder to find. 16 00:01:43,050 --> 00:01:48,830 Well, then there must be some magic clue inside these gentle walls. 17 00:01:50,250 --> 00:01:53,750 Because all I see is a tower of dreams. 18 00:02:32,300 --> 00:02:33,360 The turkey inside it did. 19 00:02:35,400 --> 00:02:37,080 Why isn't Aunt Harriet cooking? 20 00:02:37,640 --> 00:02:41,980 Well, she's got a part -time job at Captain Kidd's restaurant. 21 00:02:42,720 --> 00:02:45,420 Isn't that the place where everyone dresses like a pirate? 22 00:02:51,160 --> 00:02:54,280 Yep. I'm one of you, Carl. No pirate jokes. 23 00:03:02,220 --> 00:03:07,120 or you won't get your authentic Captain Kidd eye patch. 24 00:03:07,980 --> 00:03:09,080 Oh, thanks. 25 00:03:10,420 --> 00:03:12,780 So, sweetheart, tell us about the new job. 26 00:03:13,020 --> 00:03:15,520 Well, I'm only working security. 27 00:03:15,840 --> 00:03:19,820 My biggest challenge is making sure the landlubbers only go to the salad by 28 00:03:19,820 --> 00:03:20,820 once. 29 00:03:34,320 --> 00:03:35,320 looking like that. 30 00:03:37,180 --> 00:03:40,500 Careful, Laura. I'm tired, and I have a sword. 31 00:03:42,440 --> 00:03:43,820 So, Laura, what's your good news? 32 00:03:44,500 --> 00:03:48,760 My bank account runneth over. I finally saved enough money to buy myself a car. 33 00:03:52,380 --> 00:03:53,380 Congratulations, 34 00:03:54,520 --> 00:03:56,320 honey. So what kind of car did you pick out? 35 00:03:56,560 --> 00:03:59,180 Well, I was down at Honest Bob's Used But Not Abused Cars. 36 00:03:59,760 --> 00:04:00,760 Uh -oh. 37 00:04:01,160 --> 00:04:03,220 Sweetheart, you have to be extra careful. 38 00:04:03,550 --> 00:04:05,730 of a place that has the word honest in its name. 39 00:04:06,130 --> 00:04:10,670 Oh, I know. Well, anyway, I was walking around the lot, and bam, I saw a beauty. 40 00:04:10,930 --> 00:04:12,710 An amazing piece of work. 41 00:04:12,990 --> 00:04:15,250 And then he stepped aside and I saw the car I liked. 42 00:04:16,950 --> 00:04:18,190 You see the rose, right? 43 00:04:18,790 --> 00:04:19,790 Not quite. 44 00:04:19,930 --> 00:04:21,490 It's an 81 Fiat Spider. 45 00:04:21,810 --> 00:04:23,170 Oh, honey, that's an old car. 46 00:04:23,410 --> 00:04:27,030 Oh, I know, but she's absolutely gorgeous when she's all tanked up and 47 00:04:27,030 --> 00:04:27,729 is down. 48 00:04:27,730 --> 00:04:28,730 So is your mother. 49 00:04:35,660 --> 00:04:38,420 when you go down to buy the car? You know, these salesmen can be pretty 50 00:04:38,720 --> 00:04:40,120 No, no, no, I can handle it. 51 00:04:40,520 --> 00:04:43,560 I've done my homework on this car. I know exactly what it's worth. 52 00:04:44,260 --> 00:04:46,740 Okay, but I'm here if you change your mind. 53 00:04:46,980 --> 00:04:48,960 I appreciate that, Dad, but I'm an adult now. 54 00:04:49,280 --> 00:04:53,320 I earned the money myself, I did the research myself, and now I want to buy 55 00:04:53,320 --> 00:04:55,380 myself. Are you going to pay for the insurance yourself? 56 00:04:55,640 --> 00:04:56,900 Hey, I can't do everything myself. 57 00:05:26,160 --> 00:05:29,320 Watch me drive off to my brand new used car. You got it. 58 00:05:38,360 --> 00:05:39,760 Come on, Ralph. 59 00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:42,960 The price isn't written in stone. It's written in shoe polish. 60 00:05:43,340 --> 00:05:44,159 Come on. 61 00:05:44,160 --> 00:05:45,220 Make me an offer. 62 00:05:51,560 --> 00:05:52,780 I'll give you $2 ,400. 63 00:05:53,120 --> 00:05:54,720 Cash. Ralph. 64 00:05:55,000 --> 00:05:57,540 Ralphie. That's a $3 ,000 car. 65 00:05:58,780 --> 00:05:59,780 $2 ,900. 66 00:06:00,440 --> 00:06:01,620 Come on, Bob. 67 00:06:02,160 --> 00:06:04,780 What do you want it to do, sit here and collect more dust? 68 00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:08,960 I'll give you $2 ,600, but that's the best I can do. 69 00:06:09,780 --> 00:06:11,640 Well, I like your shirt. 70 00:06:12,080 --> 00:06:13,260 A dog's name, Ralph. 71 00:06:13,540 --> 00:06:15,220 Oh, what the heck? You got yourself a car. 72 00:06:16,340 --> 00:06:18,500 You go wake up Norm in the office, he'll write you up. 73 00:06:19,920 --> 00:06:20,920 Office? 74 00:06:21,380 --> 00:06:22,560 You mean this trailer? 75 00:06:22,860 --> 00:06:27,320 Hey. For your information, that's our service department, customer lounge, and 76 00:06:27,320 --> 00:06:28,880 employee daycare center. 77 00:06:29,640 --> 00:06:32,020 Daddy! Shut up! I'm busy! 78 00:06:40,580 --> 00:06:41,580 Hello, 79 00:06:41,880 --> 00:06:45,980 little lady. I'm Bob Futterman, but most folks call me Honest Bob. 80 00:06:46,320 --> 00:06:47,520 I'm Laura Winslow. 81 00:06:52,680 --> 00:06:55,720 I'm interested in a car. Would you like me to show you around? Or is something 82 00:06:55,720 --> 00:06:57,160 already tickled your fancy? 83 00:06:57,680 --> 00:07:00,020 Well, uh, what's the story on this 81 Fiat? 84 00:07:00,260 --> 00:07:03,020 The story is, it's a great car that costs $2 ,000. 85 00:07:03,540 --> 00:07:05,600 Buy it. I'll live happily ever after. 86 00:07:07,300 --> 00:07:08,360 I'll give you $1 ,600. 87 00:07:09,140 --> 00:07:11,640 Okay. And then you'll come back tomorrow with the other $400? 88 00:07:13,700 --> 00:07:15,520 Uh, no, I don't think so. 89 00:07:16,300 --> 00:07:19,820 Why don't we take a look, see if this is you go over here. Come on. Come on. 90 00:07:20,160 --> 00:07:21,160 Ooh. 91 00:07:22,510 --> 00:07:23,970 It's a pretty color. 92 00:07:30,230 --> 00:07:31,230 Bumper optional. 93 00:07:33,610 --> 00:07:34,850 Oh, look, look, look. 94 00:07:35,110 --> 00:07:37,590 It's $1 ,500. Well, that's right up your wallet. 95 00:07:39,090 --> 00:07:40,410 I don't want this car. 96 00:07:40,670 --> 00:07:44,550 Are you sure? It has an automatic. The Fiat is a stick. 97 00:07:44,890 --> 00:07:47,030 That's very, very difficult. 98 00:07:49,350 --> 00:07:50,630 I can drive a stick. 99 00:07:53,070 --> 00:07:54,110 I'll give you $1 ,750. 100 00:07:54,490 --> 00:07:56,370 Oh, sorry, sweetheart. 101 00:07:56,650 --> 00:07:58,370 Lowest I'll go is $1 ,900. 102 00:07:58,690 --> 00:07:59,690 Take it or leave it. 103 00:08:04,170 --> 00:08:09,210 I'll leave it. Oh, phooey. But I'll bet you'll be back, little lady. Only hope 104 00:08:09,210 --> 00:08:10,210 the car will still be here. 105 00:08:10,810 --> 00:08:11,810 Don't be a stranger. 106 00:08:12,270 --> 00:08:14,070 There's something always good under the hood. 107 00:08:14,610 --> 00:08:15,610 Bye -bye. 108 00:08:18,310 --> 00:08:19,310 Don't be a stranger. 109 00:08:48,430 --> 00:08:53,050 Why? I called Helen and profusely apologized for my social gap. 110 00:08:53,250 --> 00:08:58,770 I explained that all those other women I mentioned are persona non grata in the 111 00:08:58,770 --> 00:09:00,790 Eddie Winslow big book of love. 112 00:09:01,230 --> 00:09:05,630 Well, let me tell you, Helen was speechless. 113 00:09:07,010 --> 00:09:08,010 I'll bet. 114 00:09:08,550 --> 00:09:11,670 Because the girl that was here before was... 115 00:09:18,320 --> 00:09:19,320 Buzz your dick. 116 00:09:21,160 --> 00:09:22,440 Uh -uh. Tell us. 117 00:09:22,720 --> 00:09:25,000 Come back here, Steve. 118 00:09:28,940 --> 00:09:31,280 Laura, what's going on down here? 119 00:09:32,340 --> 00:09:33,700 Eddie's trying to kill Steve. 120 00:09:35,700 --> 00:09:37,380 Then why do you look so sad? 121 00:09:39,880 --> 00:09:41,140 I didn't get my car. 122 00:09:41,640 --> 00:09:44,660 Really? Why not? The dealer wanted too much money. 123 00:09:45,280 --> 00:09:46,280 Wouldn't bargain, huh? 124 00:09:47,790 --> 00:09:50,130 And I got the feeling he would have if I had been a guy. 125 00:09:51,130 --> 00:09:52,990 Ah, a male showing his pig, huh? 126 00:09:54,070 --> 00:09:55,070 Maybe. 127 00:09:55,250 --> 00:09:59,590 He thought I'd like a certain car because it was a pretty color. And he 128 00:09:59,590 --> 00:10:00,590 I couldn't drive a stick. 129 00:10:01,130 --> 00:10:02,890 Oh, honey, don't worry. You'll find another car. 130 00:10:03,110 --> 00:10:04,990 I don't want another car. I want that car. 131 00:10:05,250 --> 00:10:06,690 And I want it at a fair price. 132 00:10:08,030 --> 00:10:09,030 So what are you going to do? 133 00:10:09,770 --> 00:10:10,770 I don't know. 134 00:10:11,010 --> 00:10:13,150 But I'm not going to give up until I come up with something. 135 00:11:09,200 --> 00:11:10,280 That's Larry, bro. 136 00:11:13,780 --> 00:11:19,060 Well, I... You look so... Well, I mean you... 137 00:11:19,060 --> 00:11:22,440 What happened to your bazooms? 138 00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:28,120 My what? 139 00:11:28,940 --> 00:11:33,780 Snookums. If you're having some sort of identity crisis, well, let's talk about 140 00:11:33,780 --> 00:11:37,540 it. You know, there are clinics for this, although the operation is very 141 00:11:37,540 --> 00:11:38,540 painful. 142 00:11:39,120 --> 00:11:40,320 Just ask my Uncle Beverly. 143 00:11:45,320 --> 00:11:47,960 Steve, I'm dressed like this so I could buy a car. 144 00:11:48,740 --> 00:11:50,160 Why don't you just write a check? 145 00:11:51,660 --> 00:11:53,460 Because the check would be too big. 146 00:11:53,740 --> 00:11:58,400 See, the car dealer is sexist, and I figure Larry Winslow can get a better 147 00:11:58,400 --> 00:12:00,700 than Laura Winslow. Now, come on, let's go. 148 00:12:19,920 --> 00:12:20,920 And I breathe. 149 00:13:25,230 --> 00:13:28,190 Do it to make sure the airline hasn't lost the luggage. 150 00:13:37,090 --> 00:13:39,830 Ah, what else do I need to know? 151 00:13:40,370 --> 00:13:41,470 Well, let's see. 152 00:13:41,990 --> 00:13:47,430 When dinner together and a pretty girl walks by, they greet her with words 153 00:14:32,970 --> 00:14:35,050 wind up the rubber band on that thing and hit the road. 154 00:15:03,470 --> 00:15:05,150 Most folks call me Honest Bob. 155 00:15:06,190 --> 00:15:08,870 I'm Larry Wins... the clinker. 156 00:15:09,170 --> 00:15:10,330 Larry, what can I do for you? 157 00:15:10,550 --> 00:15:12,090 I got my eye on this baby. 158 00:15:12,670 --> 00:15:14,970 Well, you got your eye on quality. 159 00:15:15,350 --> 00:15:18,130 Chicks always go for a guy in a convertible, right? 160 00:15:18,630 --> 00:15:20,090 Wins... the clinker? 161 00:15:21,670 --> 00:15:23,170 Tell me something I don't know. 162 00:15:26,790 --> 00:15:28,710 Easy. Easy there, pal. 163 00:15:29,350 --> 00:15:30,790 I just had liposuction. 164 00:15:36,330 --> 00:15:37,330 What's under the hood? 165 00:15:37,670 --> 00:15:38,670 Engine. 166 00:15:39,690 --> 00:15:44,490 Well, this is an 81, so it ought to be a four -cylinder, 2 ,000cc twin cam with 167 00:15:44,490 --> 00:15:46,410 aluminum head and Bosch fuel injection. 168 00:15:47,330 --> 00:15:48,330 Oh, that could be. 169 00:15:49,590 --> 00:15:51,750 Oh, hello. Hello, baby cakes. 170 00:15:54,930 --> 00:15:55,930 Yeah, 171 00:16:03,290 --> 00:16:05,650 I think I'm special to her. 172 00:16:09,070 --> 00:16:10,070 Hey, Bob, back to the car. 173 00:16:10,250 --> 00:16:11,250 Huh? Oh. 174 00:16:11,610 --> 00:16:12,609 Let's talk price. 175 00:16:12,610 --> 00:16:13,569 Why talk? 176 00:16:13,570 --> 00:16:14,630 Well, you're gonna look right at it. 177 00:16:15,690 --> 00:16:16,690 See ya. 178 00:16:16,910 --> 00:16:19,010 Whoa, hey, hey, whoa, wait. Wait a minute. 179 00:16:19,450 --> 00:16:23,050 Price isn't written in stone. It's written in shoe polish. Come on. 180 00:16:23,590 --> 00:16:24,590 Make me an offer. 181 00:16:25,770 --> 00:16:26,770 $1 ,600. 182 00:16:27,590 --> 00:16:28,590 How much? 183 00:16:30,170 --> 00:16:31,170 $1 ,600. 184 00:16:31,910 --> 00:16:34,950 Have you, uh, have you been here before? 185 00:16:35,590 --> 00:16:36,730 Uh, not really. Why? 186 00:16:37,250 --> 00:16:38,249 You look familiar. 187 00:16:38,250 --> 00:16:39,380 Uh, no, I don't. Yes, you do. 188 00:16:40,260 --> 00:16:41,920 You have a sister? 189 00:16:42,580 --> 00:16:46,760 Uh, no, I'm an only child. The last of the Winsor Goobers. 190 00:16:48,340 --> 00:16:52,020 Uh -huh. I thought you said that your name was Winsor Crinker. 191 00:16:55,480 --> 00:16:56,480 Hi! 192 00:16:59,080 --> 00:17:00,080 All right. 193 00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:04,000 What's going on? What is the meaning of this clever charade? 194 00:17:11,210 --> 00:17:13,270 I thought I could get a better deal from you if I was a guy. 195 00:17:13,829 --> 00:17:14,829 What made you think that? 196 00:17:15,630 --> 00:17:17,530 Because I thought you'd give a better deal to a guy. 197 00:17:18,190 --> 00:17:19,910 Well, so what are you saying? 198 00:17:20,190 --> 00:17:22,349 That I'm sexist to babes? 199 00:17:23,930 --> 00:17:26,530 No way, little lady. I'm a businessman. 200 00:17:26,950 --> 00:17:29,990 I don't care if your wallet comes out of a pair of pants or a purse as long as 201 00:17:29,990 --> 00:17:30,990 there's money in it. 202 00:17:32,030 --> 00:17:36,390 But yesterday you lowered your price for that guy, but when you got to me, 203 00:17:36,550 --> 00:17:37,930 you... 204 00:17:39,630 --> 00:17:41,250 You're trying to sell me a yuko. 205 00:17:44,110 --> 00:17:45,610 Come on. 206 00:17:46,230 --> 00:17:47,230 Stop it. 207 00:17:48,110 --> 00:17:53,090 I can't help it. It's just that I think it's wrong for you to take advantage of 208 00:17:53,090 --> 00:17:55,890 me just because I'm a girl. 209 00:18:01,290 --> 00:18:02,850 All right, all right, all right. 210 00:18:03,410 --> 00:18:04,970 How much did I say yesterday? 211 00:18:29,320 --> 00:18:30,320 but that's it! 212 00:18:30,360 --> 00:18:31,360 Deal. 213 00:18:42,720 --> 00:18:49,300 Is everything 214 00:18:49,300 --> 00:18:53,360 okay? Oh, fine. You go ahead. I'm gonna drive this baby home. 215 00:19:16,750 --> 00:19:21,150 off and found out i was a girl i was sure i'd be walking home and then you 216 00:19:21,150 --> 00:19:26,090 started crying and he actually knocked off 300 off the car yeah i used his own 217 00:19:26,090 --> 00:19:31,490 sexist attitudes against him beat him at his own game yes 218 00:19:31,490 --> 00:19:36,670 harriet i'm home wow watch this 219 00:19:36,670 --> 00:19:42,930 harriet there's nothing on the stove what oh 220 00:19:42,930 --> 00:19:44,510 company yeah yeah 221 00:19:48,010 --> 00:19:49,130 He's got a date with Laura. 222 00:19:50,150 --> 00:19:51,150 Oh, really? 223 00:19:53,770 --> 00:19:54,810 Yeah, that's right. 224 00:19:58,490 --> 00:20:00,950 Your daughter is so fly. 225 00:20:03,270 --> 00:20:05,170 So just what are your plans tonight? 226 00:20:05,650 --> 00:20:10,930 Well, I thought we'd party hardy, toss back a few brewskis. Then since my 227 00:20:10,930 --> 00:20:13,910 parents are out of town, we go back to my place. 228 00:20:24,620 --> 00:20:26,400 I have her back by cock -a -doodle -doo time. 229 00:20:28,620 --> 00:20:32,040 Well, you're gonna need a little extra money. 230 00:20:34,060 --> 00:20:37,840 And, uh, keep Laura till Monday. She eats like a horse. 231 00:20:40,240 --> 00:20:42,620 Oh, and you're gonna need my car. 232 00:20:42,900 --> 00:20:44,520 It has a fold -down back seat. 233 00:20:47,620 --> 00:20:48,620 Daddy. 234 00:20:49,040 --> 00:20:50,040 Gotcha. 235 00:21:34,460 --> 00:21:37,720 and is distributed by Warner Brothers Domestic Television Distribution. 16613