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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,480 --> 00:00:06,500 It's made up of two equal components with a revolution period of 180 years. 2 00:00:06,500 --> 00:00:08,800 angle of separation is... 3 00:00:08,800 --> 00:00:15,620 You're dreaming 4 00:00:15,620 --> 00:00:17,120 of Steve Urkel. 5 00:00:19,740 --> 00:00:24,020 You yearn to be held by his strong, manly arm. 6 00:00:26,380 --> 00:00:28,820 Your lips burn for his kiss. 7 00:00:30,250 --> 00:00:33,630 it was earlier in this century because the two stars are looking closer to the 8 00:00:33,630 --> 00:00:34,630 same line of sight. 9 00:00:35,970 --> 00:00:36,970 What? 10 00:00:39,010 --> 00:00:40,770 I am so tired. 11 00:00:41,150 --> 00:00:43,310 Well, wait where you always are, baby breath. 12 00:00:43,550 --> 00:00:45,990 Like just yesterday, you fell asleep in clanks. 13 00:00:46,570 --> 00:00:47,570 That can happen. 14 00:00:47,770 --> 00:00:49,670 Not while you're writing on the blackboard. 15 00:00:51,630 --> 00:00:54,250 Now look, something's cooking good looking. Spill it. 16 00:00:54,970 --> 00:00:57,630 Mind your own business, Steve. Now go ahead. Double stars. 17 00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:05,340 such as gamma arietis have the same spectral type for both components, but 18 00:01:05,340 --> 00:01:09,260 others are distinguished by their beautifully contrasting colors. 19 00:01:31,020 --> 00:01:37,060 It's a rare condition, this day and age, to read any good news on the newspaper 20 00:01:37,060 --> 00:01:43,300 page. And love and tradition of the grand design, some people say it's even 21 00:01:43,300 --> 00:01:44,480 harder to find. 22 00:01:45,680 --> 00:01:51,560 Well, then there must be some magic clue inside these gentle walls. 23 00:01:52,920 --> 00:01:56,420 Because all I see is a tower of dreams. 24 00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:27,220 Laura, why are you so tired? 25 00:02:28,160 --> 00:02:30,780 Oh, I guess I'm not getting enough sleep at school. 26 00:02:32,360 --> 00:02:33,360 What? 27 00:02:33,960 --> 00:02:35,940 I'm just kidding, Mom. I gotta go study. 28 00:02:42,620 --> 00:02:43,619 See ya. 29 00:02:43,620 --> 00:02:45,020 Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 30 00:02:45,860 --> 00:02:46,860 Wait a minute. 31 00:02:47,420 --> 00:02:48,420 Where you going? 32 00:02:48,520 --> 00:02:49,520 Over to Waldo's. 33 00:02:49,720 --> 00:02:50,720 But don't you remember? 34 00:02:51,160 --> 00:02:53,260 Tonight is the night we agreed to work on our stamp collection. 35 00:02:53,500 --> 00:02:54,620 I can't, Dad. 36 00:02:54,920 --> 00:02:58,500 Walter's mom had plastic surgery, and I'm invited to her welcome home party. 37 00:02:59,320 --> 00:03:00,560 Oh, what did she have done? 38 00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:02,000 A fanny lift. 39 00:03:04,800 --> 00:03:06,960 Everyone's hoping it'll stay above her knees this time. 40 00:03:46,600 --> 00:03:50,920 congratulate me and my man Waldo. We are now styling on EV3. 41 00:03:51,440 --> 00:03:52,440 What do you mean? 42 00:03:52,700 --> 00:03:54,440 Tell him, Waldo. No, sir. 43 00:03:54,700 --> 00:03:55,700 Why not? 44 00:03:55,740 --> 00:03:57,260 I have no idea what you're talking about. 45 00:03:58,160 --> 00:03:59,160 The betting. 46 00:03:59,420 --> 00:04:00,420 Oh, cool. 47 00:04:00,520 --> 00:04:01,520 We're betting. 48 00:04:02,320 --> 00:04:03,320 Betting? 49 00:04:03,540 --> 00:04:04,820 How much did you guys win? 50 00:04:05,100 --> 00:04:09,460 Well, this is our second week, and we're already up 380 big ones. 51 00:04:09,740 --> 00:04:11,040 All right. How much is my hand? 52 00:04:11,240 --> 00:04:12,240 50 bucks. Yeah. 53 00:04:14,940 --> 00:04:16,339 $380 is serious money. 54 00:04:16,600 --> 00:04:20,000 Yeah, Frankie the Fish has his beginner's luck, but I keep telling him 55 00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:23,240 system. You know, I kind of wish now that I'd gone in with you guys. 56 00:04:23,640 --> 00:04:25,540 Hey, it's not too late. The season is young. 57 00:04:26,100 --> 00:04:29,900 Now, aren't you aware that sports gambling is illegal in these United 58 00:04:30,020 --> 00:04:33,980 except for Nevada and certain specified municipalities, including Atlantic City 59 00:04:33,980 --> 00:04:36,260 and Indian Reservation, which aren't subject to federal law? 60 00:04:38,820 --> 00:04:41,960 Hey, look, Urkel, you can't call what we're doing gambling. 61 00:04:43,500 --> 00:04:44,580 Dabbling implies a risk. 62 00:04:44,920 --> 00:04:47,040 With my system, there is no risk. 63 00:04:47,400 --> 00:04:51,900 Oh, and what's your system? Do you compare team monsters, compute previous 64 00:04:51,900 --> 00:04:55,420 histories, factor in player injuries, weather conditions, and home team 65 00:04:55,420 --> 00:04:56,420 advantage? 66 00:04:56,500 --> 00:04:59,300 No, we bet on a team whose city has the ugliest women. 67 00:05:14,990 --> 00:05:18,350 Wouldn't you be a lot meaner if you came from a city full of ugly women? 68 00:05:22,310 --> 00:05:24,270 I was right. I hate myself. 69 00:05:26,010 --> 00:05:27,910 Yo, guys, I'm tempted, but I'm broke. 70 00:05:28,210 --> 00:05:29,930 I mean, I don't have any money to bet. 71 00:05:30,210 --> 00:05:33,750 Ah, that's the beauty part. You bet by phone. 72 00:05:34,270 --> 00:05:36,030 Place the bet and pick up the cash. 73 00:05:36,570 --> 00:05:37,870 Yeah, but what if I lose? 74 00:05:38,110 --> 00:05:39,110 It ain't gonna happen. 75 00:05:39,950 --> 00:05:43,450 But in the unlikely event that it does, I'll cover your behind. 76 00:05:45,230 --> 00:05:46,750 Like we were forced to do with my mom. 77 00:05:51,230 --> 00:05:52,230 Addo. 78 00:05:53,290 --> 00:05:54,229 Now, look. 79 00:05:54,230 --> 00:05:56,430 You're letting greed cloud your better judgment. 80 00:05:56,810 --> 00:06:01,150 Now, it pains me to say this, but if you join these hooligans in their nefarious 81 00:06:01,150 --> 00:06:03,450 endeavor, you can kiss our friendship goodbye. 82 00:06:36,430 --> 00:06:40,710 In the Atlanta -Houston game, it was Atlanta 28, Houston 17. 83 00:06:41,230 --> 00:06:44,550 I told you so. 84 00:06:44,810 --> 00:06:50,770 And in San Francisco, the 49ers blasted the Los Angeles Rams 21 to zip. 85 00:06:51,070 --> 00:06:54,070 I told you so. 86 00:06:54,890 --> 00:07:01,670 And finally, a big surprise in Miami, as the Dolphins outscored the Jets 31 to 87 00:07:01,670 --> 00:07:04,370 14. Until the fourth... 88 00:07:04,750 --> 00:07:07,290 when the Jets scored three touchdowns to win the game. 89 00:07:09,410 --> 00:07:14,570 Far be it from me to say I told you so, but I told you so. 90 00:07:16,430 --> 00:07:21,410 Steve, I just lost a whole lot of money. The last thing I need is nagging from 91 00:07:21,410 --> 00:07:22,410 the nerd next door. 92 00:07:23,070 --> 00:07:26,510 Nerd? Well, this conversation is finished. 93 00:07:29,270 --> 00:07:33,090 I'll be in the kitchen sipping a soda until you decide to apologize. 94 00:07:41,360 --> 00:07:42,680 Your betting system bites. 95 00:07:43,100 --> 00:07:45,720 We bet on 12 games and lost 10 of them. 96 00:07:46,100 --> 00:07:50,500 May I remind you that we also won two games, Mr. Glasses Half Empty? 97 00:07:51,540 --> 00:07:53,680 Hey, I want an Indian name, too. 98 00:08:00,340 --> 00:08:04,960 I don't believe this. We each lost 250 bucks in a single afternoon. 99 00:08:10,960 --> 00:08:12,320 Weasel. Huh? 100 00:08:12,600 --> 00:08:14,540 I'm gonna have to take you up on that offer, man. 101 00:08:15,620 --> 00:08:16,620 What offer? 102 00:08:17,940 --> 00:08:22,340 You know, you told me if I lost, you'd cover me. 103 00:08:22,680 --> 00:08:23,680 Well, I lost. 104 00:08:24,180 --> 00:08:28,040 Hey, look, man, all right, I did say that, but, um, unfortunately, 105 00:08:28,040 --> 00:08:30,960 have conspired to alter my current financial portfolio. 106 00:08:35,700 --> 00:08:39,240 In other words? You're on your own. 107 00:08:48,010 --> 00:08:48,929 the fish? 108 00:08:48,930 --> 00:08:53,490 Yes, indeedy. I took pity on your plight and pulled your fannies out of the 109 00:08:53,490 --> 00:08:54,490 fire. 110 00:08:54,570 --> 00:08:59,850 Huh. Well, I simply explained to him that although your bets were made in 111 00:08:59,850 --> 00:09:05,050 faith, there was no way in H -E double hockey sticks you'll ever pay a single 112 00:09:05,050 --> 00:09:06,050 cent. 113 00:09:06,490 --> 00:09:10,890 Steve, if you tell a guy like Frankie the fish you're not gonna pay, you end 114 00:09:10,890 --> 00:09:11,890 living with fish. 115 00:09:12,910 --> 00:09:15,430 Don't be such a nervous Nellie. 116 00:09:16,390 --> 00:09:18,540 It was a... Targeting ploy. 117 00:09:18,740 --> 00:09:22,860 Well, once Frankie calmed down, I suggested that we work out some sort of 118 00:09:22,860 --> 00:09:23,859 payment plan. 119 00:09:23,860 --> 00:09:29,220 Well, he just jumped at that suggestion and immediately beat his field 120 00:09:29,220 --> 00:09:32,240 representative, who incidentally might drop by the house. 121 00:09:39,980 --> 00:09:41,360 Move and you die. 122 00:09:43,520 --> 00:09:45,580 I may have made a boo -boo. 123 00:09:54,860 --> 00:09:56,000 Allow me to introduce myself. 124 00:09:56,360 --> 00:09:59,080 I'm Steve Urkel, and you are... Bones. 125 00:09:59,760 --> 00:10:01,620 Ah, Bones. 126 00:10:02,040 --> 00:10:03,820 As in the doctor on Star Trek? 127 00:10:04,220 --> 00:10:07,540 No. Bones as in I break them. Oh, oh, oh! 128 00:10:09,340 --> 00:10:10,340 Hello. 129 00:10:17,020 --> 00:10:18,020 Here. 130 00:10:18,520 --> 00:10:22,840 Thank you. You two can leave. 131 00:10:23,140 --> 00:10:25,440 Uh, look, we're all... We're all in this together. Right, guys? 132 00:10:25,680 --> 00:10:26,680 Uh, 133 00:10:31,440 --> 00:10:37,880 sir, I'd love to pay you, but I honestly don't have the money right now. 134 00:10:38,660 --> 00:10:43,780 Kid, I'd love to let you off the hook, but I honestly have to peel you like a 135 00:10:43,780 --> 00:10:45,200 grape right now. Now, 136 00:10:47,440 --> 00:10:51,160 this is my friend, and if you intend to harm him, you're gonna... 137 00:11:23,720 --> 00:11:24,720 You have a point. 138 00:11:24,820 --> 00:11:30,240 Now, I propose an easy payback plan. Give my friend time to arrange 139 00:11:30,500 --> 00:11:31,960 Say, six months? 140 00:11:32,500 --> 00:11:33,500 24 hours. 141 00:11:33,740 --> 00:11:35,160 Works for me. Bless you bones. 142 00:11:36,460 --> 00:11:37,820 Well, I'll be back tomorrow. 143 00:11:38,260 --> 00:11:42,840 And if you don't have the cash, we're gonna hold a scavenger hunt for your 144 00:11:42,840 --> 00:11:43,840 parts. 145 00:11:58,000 --> 00:12:00,160 I can't come up with 250 bucks by tomorrow. 146 00:12:00,800 --> 00:12:02,200 Steve, can't you help me out? 147 00:12:02,660 --> 00:12:03,940 No, I can't, Eddo. 148 00:12:04,300 --> 00:12:07,100 I just spent all my money on a muscle -building kit. 149 00:12:09,080 --> 00:12:11,420 And I'm still trying to get the box open. 150 00:12:13,820 --> 00:12:15,280 Man, what am I gonna do? 151 00:12:16,680 --> 00:12:18,560 Well, why don't you just go to your father? 152 00:12:18,860 --> 00:12:21,540 That's up, Eddo. And take your punishment like a man. 153 00:12:23,840 --> 00:12:24,840 Nah. 154 00:12:25,920 --> 00:12:29,190 Besides, my dad is all... You're already upset with me for not helping them out 155 00:12:29,190 --> 00:12:30,190 with our stamp collection. 156 00:12:33,810 --> 00:12:34,810 Uh -oh. 157 00:12:35,750 --> 00:12:37,930 I smell a bad idea. 158 00:12:39,330 --> 00:12:43,590 You see this stamp? 159 00:12:43,870 --> 00:12:46,890 It's a 1923 Head of Freedom statue stamp. 160 00:12:47,170 --> 00:12:48,690 It's worth about $300. 161 00:12:49,690 --> 00:12:50,690 See what? 162 00:12:50,810 --> 00:12:54,230 Look, I could sell this stamp, pay off Bones... 163 00:12:54,460 --> 00:12:57,840 Work some overtime at Mighty Weenie, buy the stamp back, and put it back without 164 00:12:57,840 --> 00:12:58,840 anyone ever knowing. 165 00:12:58,880 --> 00:13:02,480 But you'll know, Edo, and it'll haunt you for the rest of your life. 166 00:13:02,900 --> 00:13:04,760 Yeah, but at least I'll have a life. 167 00:13:51,340 --> 00:13:52,740 What a nice brisk walk would help. 168 00:13:53,960 --> 00:13:56,740 Laura, I've been waiting here for three and a half hours. 169 00:13:58,740 --> 00:14:00,100 A long brisk walk? 170 00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:04,140 I've been word sick about you. 171 00:14:04,920 --> 00:14:09,460 I didn't know where you were, what you were doing, or if you were okay. 172 00:14:09,700 --> 00:14:10,720 I can explain. 173 00:14:11,160 --> 00:14:12,320 Well, then let's hear it. 174 00:14:12,640 --> 00:14:13,640 Where were you? 175 00:14:17,160 --> 00:14:18,320 Starlight Coffee Shop. 176 00:14:22,700 --> 00:14:23,720 I'm a waitress there. 177 00:14:24,240 --> 00:14:26,340 I work the midnight to 4 a .m. shift. 178 00:14:31,300 --> 00:14:36,460 Laura, you already have an after -school job. 179 00:14:37,040 --> 00:14:39,560 Why on earth would you take a second job? 180 00:14:40,380 --> 00:14:44,540 Oh, well, Mom's saving up to buy a car. I can get it a lot faster if I work two 181 00:14:44,540 --> 00:14:46,580 jobs. Well, when do you sleep? 182 00:14:46,940 --> 00:14:48,840 Oh, I don't. I don't need sleep. 183 00:14:49,940 --> 00:14:51,720 I just carried this water spritzer. 184 00:15:01,070 --> 00:15:02,070 is a daisy. 185 00:15:03,470 --> 00:15:05,210 Laura, you're not a fern. 186 00:15:06,850 --> 00:15:07,850 You need sleep. 187 00:15:08,250 --> 00:15:10,570 You're spreading yourself too thin and it's very unhealthy. 188 00:15:12,410 --> 00:15:14,530 I just wanted to earn the money on my own. 189 00:15:15,590 --> 00:15:17,450 You guys are giving me so much already. 190 00:15:19,570 --> 00:15:22,750 I just wanted to show you I could be responsible by buying my own car. 191 00:15:25,950 --> 00:15:30,030 Laura, you're the most responsible teenager I know. 192 00:15:31,120 --> 00:15:34,480 But sneaking out of the house at all times of night is not responsible. 193 00:15:35,840 --> 00:15:36,920 You're going to quit that job. 194 00:15:40,220 --> 00:15:41,220 Okay. 195 00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:45,320 I want to talk to your father. 196 00:15:46,520 --> 00:15:47,840 We're going to help you with that car. 197 00:15:48,260 --> 00:15:49,360 But you don't have to. 198 00:15:49,640 --> 00:15:50,640 That's right. 199 00:15:50,780 --> 00:15:51,880 We don't have to. 200 00:15:52,720 --> 00:15:53,720 We want to. 201 00:15:54,460 --> 00:15:55,460 Because we love you. 202 00:16:08,490 --> 00:16:09,389 Hey, Dad. 203 00:16:09,390 --> 00:16:10,390 Hey, son. 204 00:16:12,250 --> 00:16:15,830 Uh... What are you doing? 205 00:16:16,850 --> 00:16:19,890 Oh, I thought I'd take a look at the old stamp collection. 206 00:16:20,590 --> 00:16:23,770 You know, the one that you don't have time for anymore. 207 00:16:24,650 --> 00:16:27,650 Oh. Well, I have some time now. 208 00:16:30,210 --> 00:16:32,170 Wow. What a collection. 209 00:16:36,970 --> 00:16:38,210 Dad, do you want to go shoot some hoops? 210 00:16:41,690 --> 00:16:44,610 Dad, there's something I have to tell you. 211 00:16:44,950 --> 00:16:45,869 Oh, really? 212 00:16:45,870 --> 00:16:46,870 What is it? 213 00:16:47,970 --> 00:16:50,230 Well, it's about our head of freedom statue stamp. 214 00:16:51,790 --> 00:16:52,790 Oh, yes. 215 00:16:53,470 --> 00:16:54,470 There she is. 216 00:16:55,090 --> 00:16:56,090 She is? 217 00:16:58,610 --> 00:16:59,610 She is. 218 00:17:01,450 --> 00:17:04,030 So, what did you want to tell me, son? 219 00:17:06,220 --> 00:17:07,220 Oh, 220 00:17:07,460 --> 00:17:10,400 uh, just that... that I love you. 221 00:17:13,260 --> 00:17:14,260 I love you, Dad. 222 00:17:14,800 --> 00:17:15,800 Night. 223 00:17:16,640 --> 00:17:17,640 Edward? 224 00:17:18,160 --> 00:17:19,160 Yes? 225 00:17:19,400 --> 00:17:22,760 You know, I thought that you were gonna tell me that you sold our Head of 226 00:17:22,760 --> 00:17:27,859 Freedom statue stamp to the Stamp Emporium for $300. 227 00:17:30,080 --> 00:17:31,080 No. 228 00:17:31,960 --> 00:17:33,460 I just think that I love you. 229 00:17:36,080 --> 00:17:37,340 I hope that you keep it in mind. 230 00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:40,100 Come over here, Edward, and sit down. 231 00:17:46,720 --> 00:17:47,760 Talk to me, son. 232 00:17:48,420 --> 00:17:50,720 Let me hear the words. 233 00:17:53,760 --> 00:17:54,760 Well, 234 00:17:56,040 --> 00:17:58,400 me and the guys bet on some football games. 235 00:17:58,900 --> 00:17:59,900 Mm -hmm. 236 00:18:00,680 --> 00:18:05,080 And then I lost 250 bucks to a bookie named Frankie the Fish. 237 00:18:06,670 --> 00:18:07,670 I see. 238 00:18:07,970 --> 00:18:12,410 And then I sold our stamp so I wouldn't get beat up by a really big guy named 239 00:18:12,410 --> 00:18:13,410 Bones. 240 00:18:14,650 --> 00:18:18,330 Edward, why didn't you just come to me? 241 00:18:18,910 --> 00:18:21,990 Well, because I was afraid you'd yell at me, Dad. What do you mean, like this? 242 00:18:26,950 --> 00:18:27,950 Yes, sir. 243 00:18:27,990 --> 00:18:29,130 Exactly like that, sir. 244 00:18:31,990 --> 00:18:34,310 My head hurts. 245 00:18:37,590 --> 00:18:40,710 Son, you've made some mistakes with gambling before. 246 00:18:42,250 --> 00:18:44,210 I thought that you had learned your lesson. 247 00:18:44,950 --> 00:18:46,390 Well, I thought so too, Dad. 248 00:18:46,650 --> 00:18:49,770 But we still had a surefire betting system. Oh, really? 249 00:18:50,130 --> 00:18:51,130 What was it? 250 00:18:51,310 --> 00:18:53,870 We bet on the teams whose cities have the ugliest women. 251 00:18:57,350 --> 00:18:58,730 My head hurts again. 252 00:19:00,870 --> 00:19:06,980 Edward, son, when you make a mistake, You fess up to it. 253 00:19:07,220 --> 00:19:09,880 If you try to cover it up, it's only going to make it worse. 254 00:19:10,760 --> 00:19:11,760 Yes, sir. 255 00:19:12,160 --> 00:19:16,280 Now, if you had come to me right away, you might have only been grounded for a 256 00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:17,179 week or so. 257 00:19:17,180 --> 00:19:20,820 But now, you'll be lucky if you make Little Richie's wedding. 258 00:19:22,520 --> 00:19:23,520 Ouch. 259 00:19:24,440 --> 00:19:27,280 Well, Dad, just tell me how you found out about the stamp. 260 00:19:27,800 --> 00:19:30,480 Al, from the stamp emporium called. 261 00:19:31,070 --> 00:19:35,050 I had asked him to let me know if another Head of Freedom statue stamp 262 00:19:35,050 --> 00:19:36,050 became available. 263 00:19:36,650 --> 00:19:40,530 Imagine my surprise when I discovered that I bought back my own stamp. 264 00:19:47,930 --> 00:19:48,930 Look. 265 00:19:54,530 --> 00:19:56,170 I'm going to pay you back, Dad. 266 00:19:56,410 --> 00:19:57,410 Every cent. 267 00:19:57,450 --> 00:19:58,750 Oh, you bet you will. 268 00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:03,180 I don't bet any more. 269 00:20:05,460 --> 00:20:06,460 Come here. 270 00:20:07,080 --> 00:20:08,380 Hello there. 271 00:20:08,740 --> 00:20:11,760 I see. 272 00:20:12,680 --> 00:20:16,080 Last chance, Edo. You sure you don't want to come down to the poker hall with 273 00:20:16,080 --> 00:20:17,080 us? Us? 274 00:20:17,400 --> 00:20:20,080 You actually talk somebody else into going with you? 275 00:20:32,940 --> 00:20:33,940 Come on, Steve. 276 00:20:34,580 --> 00:20:35,700 We don't want to be late. 277 00:21:29,930 --> 00:21:33,270 Family Matters is a Miller -Boyette production in association with Warner 278 00:21:33,270 --> 00:21:36,350 Brothers Television and is distributed by Warner Brothers Domestic Television 279 00:21:36,350 --> 00:21:37,350 Distribution. 19904