Original subtitles

Hi, Steve.

And what you doing?

Oh, I'm just putting stuff up for storage.

nerves are shocked.

What do you want, Steve?

I'm to invite you and the entire Winslow clan over to my house next Saturday for

one of our famous Urkel hoedowns. Interested?

Oh, gosh, no.

capacity. It won't hold any more weight.

Carl, that's a beach ball.

A few ounces.

A moment ago, you were hanging from that shelf.

A weight that boggles the mind.

I don't want an argument, Steve.

Well, I'm not arguing. I mean, it's just common sense that a beach ball

doesn't... All right.

All right.

We'll put the beach ball up on the shelf.

And then we'll leave, okay?

It's a rare condition, this day and age, to read any good news on the newspaper

page. And love and tradition of the grand design, some people say, is even

harder to find.

Well, then there must be some magic clue inside these gentle walls.

Cause all I see is a tower of dreams, real love bursting out of every scene.

years ago with my own two hands.

That could have been your problem.

Perhaps you should have used someone else's hands.

Cute. Get out.

Now, Carl.

Get out.

Now, look, I realize you're upset. Get out.

I've had it with you, Steve.

You stroll in here, you destroy my garage.

Well, that is it. I want you out of my life and stay out.

I can't ever come back?

Not until I invite you.

And do you know when that'll be?

When hell freezes over?

When hell freezes over and the devil gives free playwrights.

Hey, Mr. Winslow.

The light's not very good here. You should plug in that lamp so you can see

you're doing.

The lamp is broken.

I'm trying to fix it.

Well, if it's unplugged, how will you know when it's

fixed?

forget it, fat chance.

Look before you leap. It takes one to know one, and we do chicken right. Your

turn, Eddie.

Uh -oh.

Carl, I'm no expert, but you've got bare wire touching the metal base of that

lamp.

You're right, Steve.

I am?

You're no expert.

Now scram!

Oh, God, Steve, I don't think he's breathing.

All right, he's not breathing, and he doesn't have a pulse. Edo, call 911.

Waldo, go to Carl's police bag and get me his first aid kit.

I took a CPR class a couple of years ago. I just hope I remember everything.

Okay, okay, now, now, I tilted his head back, and I cleared his air passage, and

now it's time for mouth -to -mouth.

Okay. Now we have to try and make it heartbreak.

Heartbeat?

1,

2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13,

14, 15.

The ambulance is on its way. How's he doing?

Dad, you're alive.

Ed, want me to boil some water?

Waldo, that's for babies.

Oh, like making a phone call so macho.

What happened?

Why am I on the floor?

Easy, Dad. You got a bad shock from that lamp and you stopped breathing.

I did? Yeah, Steve gave you CPR.

He did?

Steve Urkel saved my life?

I don't know about that, I mean... Yes, you did.

Face it, dude, if you hadn't given him CPR, he would have died.

You're a hero.

Oh, gosh, I guess I am.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh, no, we're doomed.

He's the only one that knows what to do.

I'm all right.

I'm okay.

Thanks to the world's best neighbor, Steve Urkel.

Oh, thanks,

Winslow. Steve,

you deserve every bit of it. You saved my son's life.

You are an exceptional young man.

Oh, you're just saying it because it's true.

show and tell.

Why? Well, none of the kids in my class have ever seen an almost dead guy.

I'll think about it, Richie.

Uh, I have something I'd like to say to Steve. Would you all please excuse us

for a moment? Sure thing. Come on, everybody.

Come on.

Steve, you're invited for dinner. I am?

Yes, and I'll fix you whatever you want.

What are you in the mood for?

Now, let's see. There isn't enough time. Time to pickle an elk.

Steve, how about some of my good old -fashioned pot roast?

Well, gee, you sure you want to tempt death twice?

yelled at you, I told you to stay away from me, and then you saved my life.

I owe you an apology.

I see.

Well, there, I feel better.

What?

You said you owe me an apology, but you haven't actually...

Give him me an apology.

Just thought I'd point that out for the record.

Oh, okay.

Here goes.

Steve? Yes?

I'm sorry.

very, very grateful to you.

How can I show my appreciation?

Well, you could lift the Urkel band and allow me to come over any time I want.

Wouldn't you rather have money? I have money. Oh, no, no, no.

Why, I want quality time with my favorite cat talk.

Okay.

Steve, you can come over here.

You can come over here anytime.

Pleasant surprise.

Are they keeping you happy, Pappy?

Oh, I'll get that.

No, no, no, no.

I'll get it. I'll clean it up. It was my fault. I was clumsy.

Well, you know, you shouldn't torture yourself over it.

Accidents can happen.

See?

Case in point.

I'll clean it up. No, no, let me clean that up.

No, no, give it to me. I'll clean it up.

I've had them almost a week now.

Let me just... Watch out.

But the

shirt,

that was new.

Why don't you just take a seat while I clean up this little mess?

Good playing, my man. Mm -hmm.

I just can't keep what happened to Dad out of my mind, Laura.

I know.

I keep thinking about it, too.

We almost lost him.

Yeah.

He really needed me, and I didn't know what to do.

It's okay, Eddie.

Maybe we should both take a CPR class.

But thank God for Steve.

He really came through.

Hi, guys.

What's up, Steve?

Oh, your pump wants a pump.

We're varnishing the patio furniture.

Man's work.

Steve?

Yes, my pet?

What you did was... I mean, the way you... Thanks for saving my daddy.

Varnish.

I'll just go take off these clothes.

Need some help?

I'm not that grateful.

Farewell, old mistress of beauty.

Hey, Steve.

Look, me and the guys are going to the P .M. Don concert next week.

Do you want to come with us?

This is a trick, right?

We all get in the car, then you drop me off at the cemetery in my underpants.

No, man, I'm serious.

Well, I know.

Since when are you willing to be seen in public with me?

Since you saved my father's life.

Look, Steve, you're a nerdy, annoying dweeb.

But after what you did, the least I could do was put up with you.

Gee, I'm all choked up.

Carl, we need to palaver pronto.

About what?

Well, I just finished talking to Eddie, and I realized that it's okay for you to

be angry at me.

No, it isn't.

Steve, you saved my life.

And I'm supposed to be grateful.

Well, Carl, you're grateful for what I did.

And I'm grateful I was able to do it.

But we have a bond between us now. And we have to honor that bond by always

being honest with each other.

In what way?

Well, when you get angry with me, I want you to learn it out. I want you to

express your true feelings, okay?

Okay. I'll try.

I'll start by expressing one of mine.

When I was giving you CPR, I was really scared.

Well, that's only natural.

But I wasn't scared for you.

I was scared for me.

Why? Because I honestly can't imagine my life without you.

Harold, you're the finest man I've ever known.

I love you.

Thank you, Steve.

You're the best, big guy.

You're okay.

Oh, watch out.

Good night.

Are you sure?

Remember what you did yesterday?

Nope. You hugged me.

I did?

Valdis, out of gratitude for saving your father's life, are you grateful enough

to reward me with, say, a juicy kiss?

Steve, didn't you tell my father that you don't want people being nice to you

out of gratitude?

Well, yes, but...

I want people to express their true feelings right. Oh, but don't... Oh, in

case, I'm going to tell you what I really think of you.

How?

I'm a nerdy, annoying dweeb, right?

Right.

And I'm very lucky to have you as a friend.

Family Matters is a Miller -Boyette production in association with Warner

Brothers Television and is distributed by Warner Brothers Domestic.