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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,950 --> 00:00:08,689 Hi, Steve. 2 00:00:08,690 --> 00:00:09,690 And what you doing? 3 00:00:09,770 --> 00:00:11,750 Oh, I'm just putting stuff up for storage. 4 00:01:07,820 --> 00:01:08,820 nerves are shocked. 5 00:01:10,180 --> 00:01:11,400 What do you want, Steve? 6 00:01:11,900 --> 00:01:16,880 I'm to invite you and the entire Winslow clan over to my house next Saturday for 7 00:01:16,880 --> 00:01:19,820 one of our famous Urkel hoedowns. Interested? 8 00:01:20,640 --> 00:01:22,380 Oh, gosh, no. 9 00:01:53,040 --> 00:01:54,560 capacity. It won't hold any more weight. 10 00:01:56,820 --> 00:01:58,620 Carl, that's a beach ball. 11 00:01:58,860 --> 00:01:59,860 A few ounces. 12 00:02:00,080 --> 00:02:02,500 A moment ago, you were hanging from that shelf. 13 00:02:06,060 --> 00:02:08,300 A weight that boggles the mind. 14 00:02:10,280 --> 00:02:12,060 I don't want an argument, Steve. 15 00:02:12,340 --> 00:02:15,380 Well, I'm not arguing. I mean, it's just common sense that a beach ball 16 00:02:15,380 --> 00:02:16,380 doesn't... All right. 17 00:02:17,740 --> 00:02:18,740 All right. 18 00:02:19,240 --> 00:02:21,700 We'll put the beach ball up on the shelf. 19 00:02:22,670 --> 00:02:24,570 And then we'll leave, okay? 20 00:02:56,080 --> 00:03:02,340 It's a rare condition, this day and age, to read any good news on the newspaper 21 00:03:02,340 --> 00:03:08,600 page. And love and tradition of the grand design, some people say, is even 22 00:03:08,600 --> 00:03:09,740 harder to find. 23 00:03:11,120 --> 00:03:16,800 Well, then there must be some magic clue inside these gentle walls. 24 00:03:18,140 --> 00:03:24,940 Cause all I see is a tower of dreams, real love bursting out of every scene. 25 00:03:45,710 --> 00:03:47,750 years ago with my own two hands. 26 00:03:50,270 --> 00:03:51,930 That could have been your problem. 27 00:03:53,930 --> 00:03:56,310 Perhaps you should have used someone else's hands. 28 00:03:58,030 --> 00:03:59,670 Cute. Get out. 29 00:04:01,550 --> 00:04:02,550 Now, Carl. 30 00:04:02,630 --> 00:04:03,409 Get out. 31 00:04:03,410 --> 00:04:05,770 Now, look, I realize you're upset. Get out. 32 00:04:06,310 --> 00:04:07,650 I've had it with you, Steve. 33 00:04:07,870 --> 00:04:10,910 You stroll in here, you destroy my garage. 34 00:04:11,130 --> 00:04:14,710 Well, that is it. I want you out of my life and stay out. 35 00:04:20,200 --> 00:04:21,640 I can't ever come back? 36 00:04:22,420 --> 00:04:24,000 Not until I invite you. 37 00:04:24,560 --> 00:04:26,340 And do you know when that'll be? 38 00:04:28,660 --> 00:04:30,420 When hell freezes over? 39 00:04:33,500 --> 00:04:38,120 When hell freezes over and the devil gives free playwrights. 40 00:04:48,460 --> 00:04:49,680 Hey, Mr. Winslow. 41 00:04:50,270 --> 00:04:53,770 The light's not very good here. You should plug in that lamp so you can see 42 00:04:53,770 --> 00:04:54,770 you're doing. 43 00:04:58,910 --> 00:05:00,970 The lamp is broken. 44 00:05:01,670 --> 00:05:04,090 I'm trying to fix it. 45 00:05:07,690 --> 00:05:14,230 Well, if it's unplugged, how will you know when it's 46 00:05:14,230 --> 00:05:15,230 fixed? 47 00:05:36,590 --> 00:05:37,870 forget it, fat chance. 48 00:05:39,110 --> 00:05:43,350 Look before you leap. It takes one to know one, and we do chicken right. Your 49 00:05:43,350 --> 00:05:44,350 turn, Eddie. 50 00:05:47,570 --> 00:05:48,570 Uh -oh. 51 00:05:48,850 --> 00:05:53,010 Carl, I'm no expert, but you've got bare wire touching the metal base of that 52 00:05:53,010 --> 00:05:54,010 lamp. 53 00:05:54,490 --> 00:05:55,490 You're right, Steve. 54 00:05:55,590 --> 00:05:56,269 I am? 55 00:05:56,270 --> 00:05:57,270 You're no expert. 56 00:05:57,970 --> 00:05:58,970 Now scram! 57 00:06:21,000 --> 00:06:22,320 Oh, God, Steve, I don't think he's breathing. 58 00:06:22,560 --> 00:06:26,560 All right, he's not breathing, and he doesn't have a pulse. Edo, call 911. 59 00:06:27,920 --> 00:06:30,860 Waldo, go to Carl's police bag and get me his first aid kit. 60 00:06:31,500 --> 00:06:36,180 I took a CPR class a couple of years ago. I just hope I remember everything. 61 00:06:37,500 --> 00:06:43,520 Okay, okay, now, now, I tilted his head back, and I cleared his air passage, and 62 00:06:43,520 --> 00:06:44,980 now it's time for mouth -to -mouth. 63 00:06:53,360 --> 00:06:55,580 Okay. Now we have to try and make it heartbreak. 64 00:06:55,940 --> 00:06:56,940 Heartbeat? 65 00:06:57,220 --> 00:06:58,220 1, 66 00:06:59,180 --> 00:07:05,820 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 67 00:07:06,020 --> 00:07:07,020 14, 15. 68 00:07:07,300 --> 00:07:09,300 The ambulance is on its way. How's he doing? 69 00:07:35,690 --> 00:07:36,690 Dad, you're alive. 70 00:07:38,090 --> 00:07:39,810 Ed, want me to boil some water? 71 00:07:44,730 --> 00:07:45,990 Waldo, that's for babies. 72 00:07:46,430 --> 00:07:48,690 Oh, like making a phone call so macho. 73 00:07:51,470 --> 00:07:52,470 What happened? 74 00:07:52,770 --> 00:07:53,910 Why am I on the floor? 75 00:07:54,190 --> 00:07:57,550 Easy, Dad. You got a bad shock from that lamp and you stopped breathing. 76 00:07:57,890 --> 00:08:00,150 I did? Yeah, Steve gave you CPR. 77 00:08:00,890 --> 00:08:01,890 He did? 78 00:08:02,850 --> 00:08:04,410 Steve Urkel saved my life? 79 00:08:07,210 --> 00:08:09,410 I don't know about that, I mean... Yes, you did. 80 00:08:09,870 --> 00:08:12,670 Face it, dude, if you hadn't given him CPR, he would have died. 81 00:08:12,910 --> 00:08:13,910 You're a hero. 82 00:08:14,850 --> 00:08:16,530 Oh, gosh, I guess I am. 83 00:08:19,110 --> 00:08:20,110 Yeah. 84 00:08:20,610 --> 00:08:21,610 Yeah. 85 00:08:23,970 --> 00:08:24,970 Oh, no, we're doomed. 86 00:08:25,190 --> 00:08:26,530 He's the only one that knows what to do. 87 00:08:37,110 --> 00:08:38,530 I'm all right. 88 00:08:39,309 --> 00:08:40,309 I'm okay. 89 00:08:40,530 --> 00:08:43,630 Thanks to the world's best neighbor, Steve Urkel. 90 00:08:44,010 --> 00:08:46,750 Oh, thanks, 91 00:08:52,430 --> 00:08:53,870 Winslow. Steve, 92 00:08:55,690 --> 00:08:59,850 you deserve every bit of it. You saved my son's life. 93 00:09:00,170 --> 00:09:02,790 You are an exceptional young man. 94 00:09:03,330 --> 00:09:05,170 Oh, you're just saying it because it's true. 95 00:09:09,230 --> 00:09:10,230 show and tell. 96 00:09:10,370 --> 00:09:15,110 Why? Well, none of the kids in my class have ever seen an almost dead guy. 97 00:09:18,130 --> 00:09:19,610 I'll think about it, Richie. 98 00:09:20,970 --> 00:09:24,710 Uh, I have something I'd like to say to Steve. Would you all please excuse us 99 00:09:24,710 --> 00:09:26,710 for a moment? Sure thing. Come on, everybody. 100 00:09:27,050 --> 00:09:28,050 Come on. 101 00:09:28,430 --> 00:09:32,030 Steve, you're invited for dinner. I am? 102 00:09:32,330 --> 00:09:34,530 Yes, and I'll fix you whatever you want. 103 00:09:34,930 --> 00:09:35,950 What are you in the mood for? 104 00:09:36,210 --> 00:09:39,120 Now, let's see. There isn't enough time. Time to pickle an elk. 105 00:09:41,980 --> 00:09:45,140 Steve, how about some of my good old -fashioned pot roast? 106 00:09:45,660 --> 00:09:47,820 Well, gee, you sure you want to tempt death twice? 107 00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:15,580 yelled at you, I told you to stay away from me, and then you saved my life. 108 00:10:16,700 --> 00:10:18,060 I owe you an apology. 109 00:10:18,700 --> 00:10:19,700 I see. 110 00:10:20,860 --> 00:10:22,260 Well, there, I feel better. 111 00:10:27,460 --> 00:10:28,460 What? 112 00:10:34,540 --> 00:10:38,560 You said you owe me an apology, but you haven't actually... 113 00:10:38,960 --> 00:10:40,120 Give him me an apology. 114 00:10:40,980 --> 00:10:43,100 Just thought I'd point that out for the record. 115 00:10:47,020 --> 00:10:48,040 Oh, okay. 116 00:10:50,020 --> 00:10:51,020 Here goes. 117 00:11:04,780 --> 00:11:06,200 Steve? Yes? 118 00:11:10,120 --> 00:11:11,120 I'm sorry. 119 00:11:53,960 --> 00:11:55,180 very, very grateful to you. 120 00:11:56,740 --> 00:11:58,260 How can I show my appreciation? 121 00:11:59,140 --> 00:12:03,100 Well, you could lift the Urkel band and allow me to come over any time I want. 122 00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:07,180 Wouldn't you rather have money? I have money. Oh, no, no, no. 123 00:12:08,460 --> 00:12:11,520 Why, I want quality time with my favorite cat talk. 124 00:12:13,840 --> 00:12:14,840 Okay. 125 00:12:16,280 --> 00:12:19,580 Steve, you can come over here. 126 00:12:25,870 --> 00:12:27,210 You can come over here anytime. 127 00:13:00,910 --> 00:13:01,910 Pleasant surprise. 128 00:13:02,090 --> 00:13:04,130 Are they keeping you happy, Pappy? 129 00:13:06,910 --> 00:13:08,270 Oh, I'll get that. 130 00:13:08,570 --> 00:13:09,529 No, no, no, no. 131 00:13:09,530 --> 00:13:13,290 I'll get it. I'll clean it up. It was my fault. I was clumsy. 132 00:13:15,150 --> 00:13:17,890 Well, you know, you shouldn't torture yourself over it. 133 00:13:18,090 --> 00:13:19,090 Accidents can happen. 134 00:13:20,270 --> 00:13:21,270 See? 135 00:13:22,290 --> 00:13:23,290 Case in point. 136 00:13:24,410 --> 00:13:26,550 I'll clean it up. No, no, let me clean that up. 137 00:13:26,790 --> 00:13:28,230 No, no, give it to me. I'll clean it up. 138 00:13:40,010 --> 00:13:41,550 I've had them almost a week now. 139 00:13:42,830 --> 00:13:44,930 Let me just... Watch out. 140 00:13:45,130 --> 00:13:47,930 But the 141 00:13:47,930 --> 00:13:56,470 shirt, 142 00:13:56,570 --> 00:13:58,050 that was new. 143 00:14:08,620 --> 00:14:12,040 Why don't you just take a seat while I clean up this little mess? 144 00:14:12,580 --> 00:14:13,980 Good playing, my man. Mm -hmm. 145 00:14:49,740 --> 00:14:52,160 I just can't keep what happened to Dad out of my mind, Laura. 146 00:14:53,840 --> 00:14:54,840 I know. 147 00:14:56,400 --> 00:14:58,080 I keep thinking about it, too. 148 00:14:59,880 --> 00:15:01,120 We almost lost him. 149 00:15:01,860 --> 00:15:02,860 Yeah. 150 00:15:04,040 --> 00:15:07,380 He really needed me, and I didn't know what to do. 151 00:15:09,000 --> 00:15:10,020 It's okay, Eddie. 152 00:15:10,260 --> 00:15:12,320 Maybe we should both take a CPR class. 153 00:15:15,100 --> 00:15:16,460 But thank God for Steve. 154 00:15:17,100 --> 00:15:18,240 He really came through. 155 00:15:20,010 --> 00:15:21,010 Hi, guys. 156 00:15:21,290 --> 00:15:22,290 What's up, Steve? 157 00:15:22,430 --> 00:15:24,090 Oh, your pump wants a pump. 158 00:15:24,370 --> 00:15:26,090 We're varnishing the patio furniture. 159 00:15:26,610 --> 00:15:27,610 Man's work. 160 00:15:30,130 --> 00:15:31,130 Steve? 161 00:15:31,730 --> 00:15:32,730 Yes, my pet? 162 00:15:35,030 --> 00:15:41,730 What you did was... I mean, the way you... Thanks for saving my daddy. 163 00:15:51,800 --> 00:15:52,800 Varnish. 164 00:15:55,040 --> 00:15:57,420 I'll just go take off these clothes. 165 00:15:57,900 --> 00:15:58,900 Need some help? 166 00:16:04,400 --> 00:16:05,740 I'm not that grateful. 167 00:16:09,780 --> 00:16:11,380 Farewell, old mistress of beauty. 168 00:16:12,680 --> 00:16:13,680 Hey, Steve. 169 00:16:14,800 --> 00:16:18,580 Look, me and the guys are going to the P .M. Don concert next week. 170 00:16:18,920 --> 00:16:20,400 Do you want to come with us? 171 00:16:22,090 --> 00:16:23,130 This is a trick, right? 172 00:16:24,670 --> 00:16:28,170 We all get in the car, then you drop me off at the cemetery in my underpants. 173 00:16:31,990 --> 00:16:33,430 No, man, I'm serious. 174 00:16:34,730 --> 00:16:35,730 Well, I know. 175 00:16:37,010 --> 00:16:39,430 Since when are you willing to be seen in public with me? 176 00:16:40,350 --> 00:16:42,030 Since you saved my father's life. 177 00:16:42,690 --> 00:16:45,690 Look, Steve, you're a nerdy, annoying dweeb. 178 00:16:47,130 --> 00:16:50,870 But after what you did, the least I could do was put up with you. 179 00:16:53,869 --> 00:16:56,150 Gee, I'm all choked up. 180 00:17:09,550 --> 00:17:12,190 Carl, we need to palaver pronto. 181 00:17:13,170 --> 00:17:14,170 About what? 182 00:17:14,530 --> 00:17:19,630 Well, I just finished talking to Eddie, and I realized that it's okay for you to 183 00:17:19,630 --> 00:17:20,630 be angry at me. 184 00:17:21,079 --> 00:17:22,079 No, it isn't. 185 00:17:22,819 --> 00:17:24,520 Steve, you saved my life. 186 00:17:25,140 --> 00:17:26,800 And I'm supposed to be grateful. 187 00:17:27,359 --> 00:17:29,520 Well, Carl, you're grateful for what I did. 188 00:17:29,820 --> 00:17:31,940 And I'm grateful I was able to do it. 189 00:17:32,340 --> 00:17:36,860 But we have a bond between us now. And we have to honor that bond by always 190 00:17:36,860 --> 00:17:38,360 being honest with each other. 191 00:17:39,300 --> 00:17:40,300 In what way? 192 00:17:41,320 --> 00:17:46,640 Well, when you get angry with me, I want you to learn it out. I want you to 193 00:17:46,640 --> 00:17:48,160 express your true feelings, okay? 194 00:17:49,860 --> 00:17:51,280 Okay. I'll try. 195 00:17:51,900 --> 00:17:53,800 I'll start by expressing one of mine. 196 00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:58,340 When I was giving you CPR, I was really scared. 197 00:18:00,100 --> 00:18:01,500 Well, that's only natural. 198 00:18:01,940 --> 00:18:03,740 But I wasn't scared for you. 199 00:18:04,300 --> 00:18:05,820 I was scared for me. 200 00:18:06,760 --> 00:18:11,180 Why? Because I honestly can't imagine my life without you. 201 00:18:14,640 --> 00:18:17,600 Harold, you're the finest man I've ever known. 202 00:18:18,120 --> 00:18:19,220 I love you. 203 00:18:22,960 --> 00:18:23,960 Thank you, Steve. 204 00:18:25,800 --> 00:18:27,480 You're the best, big guy. 205 00:18:31,680 --> 00:18:32,680 You're okay. 206 00:18:35,420 --> 00:18:36,420 Oh, watch out. 207 00:18:38,520 --> 00:18:39,520 Good night. 208 00:19:06,890 --> 00:19:07,890 Are you sure? 209 00:19:50,090 --> 00:19:51,290 Remember what you did yesterday? 210 00:19:52,830 --> 00:19:55,450 Nope. You hugged me. 211 00:19:56,170 --> 00:19:57,170 I did? 212 00:19:57,810 --> 00:20:03,850 Valdis, out of gratitude for saving your father's life, are you grateful enough 213 00:20:03,850 --> 00:20:06,990 to reward me with, say, a juicy kiss? 214 00:20:10,610 --> 00:20:15,970 Steve, didn't you tell my father that you don't want people being nice to you 215 00:20:15,970 --> 00:20:16,970 out of gratitude? 216 00:20:17,330 --> 00:20:18,350 Well, yes, but... 217 00:20:18,880 --> 00:20:22,420 I want people to express their true feelings right. Oh, but don't... Oh, in 218 00:20:22,420 --> 00:20:25,500 case, I'm going to tell you what I really think of you. 219 00:20:26,260 --> 00:20:27,260 How? 220 00:20:27,840 --> 00:20:30,720 I'm a nerdy, annoying dweeb, right? 221 00:20:31,680 --> 00:20:32,680 Right. 222 00:20:35,100 --> 00:20:37,340 And I'm very lucky to have you as a friend. 223 00:21:25,420 --> 00:21:28,540 Family Matters is a Miller -Boyette production in association with Warner 224 00:21:28,540 --> 00:21:31,360 Brothers Television and is distributed by Warner Brothers Domestic. 15283