All language subtitles for Family Matters s04e21 Walk on the Wild Side

It's the coldest time of the year. Did
you pack enough sweaters?

Three. Well, what about socks?

I'm wearing socks.

Look, you guys, stop worrying. I'll be
fine.

Laura, this is the first time you've
gone on a trip without us. Yeah.

I mean, yeah.

It's only for three days, and we'll be
shopping around the whole time.

Well, why couldn't they hold the Midwest
Cheerleading Championships here in

Chicago? Why go all the way to Bemidji?

Well, Bemidji's a famous cheer town.
They invented the phrase, sis -boom

Well, that's helpful. We don't want you
to miss your flight.

Hey, Laura, wait.

You almost forgot your pom -poms.

Oh, I'd be lost without those.

How can I ever thank you, Richie?

A box should cover it.

You know, I'm surprised Steve didn't
come by and embarrass you with one of

melodramatic goodbyes. I warned him that
if he did...

I'd stipple his lips together.

Hi, sweetums.

Oh, I'll pack these for you.

It's a rare condition this day and age.

To read any good news on the newspaper
page.

And love and tradition of the grand
design.

Some people say it's even harder to
find.

Well, then there must be some magic clue
inside these gentle walls.

Because all I see is a tower of dreams.

Real love bursting out of everything.

Hey. Hey, Dad.

Just the man I wanted to see.

Grab a seat, son.

Okay, sure.

What's up?

I'm going to give you a haircut.

What?

How come?

It'll save me money.

No way.

No, no, no, no, no. I know that I may
botch the first three or four haircuts.

But, hey, I'll learn. And over the
years, think of the savings.

It's very important to Eddie that he
look good.

You're both overreacting.

Now, come on, son. Let me take a whack
at that head.

I'll even shave you one of those designs
you young people like.

Something cool, like a happy face.

Mom, Carl, he doesn't have time for
Hacker now.

He doesn't? No. He has to clean his room
and wash the car and take out the

trash. Right, Eddie? Oh, right.

Right. I got to go do those things right
now. Bye.

Now, you see?

I told you I'd get him to do his chores.

Listen to this.

Janet and I wanted to do something
really exciting. Something daring.

So we got fake IDs and went to Club
Buff.

The male strip club. Yes, girl.

The dancers there are drop -dead
gorgeous.

The kind with their clothes.

Come on.

Look,

I'm going again this weekend. You guys
have got to come with me. Hey, count me

in. Great, I'll get the IDs for you.
It's just 50 bucks and a recent picture.

$50 is a lot of money.

Maxine, we're talking near -naked hook.

I'll have the cash tomorrow.

So how about you, Laura?

I don't know.

Hello. I forgot who I was talking to.
Miss Laura, goody two -shoes, Winslow.

Now, wait a minute. I am not a goody two
-shoes. Right, Max?

Yo, Max, jump in here any time.

Well, the kids at school do think you're
kind of squeaky clean.

Well, does everybody think that?

No, not everybody. There is one guy who
thinks you're wild and crazy.

Who?

Steve Urkel.

I have the money tomorrow.

Carl. Hmm?

Isn't it strange how different our
children are?

What do you mean, sweetheart?

Well, with Eddie and Judy, we have to
beg, threaten, and trick them into doing

their chores.

Yeah, but not Laura.

Laura always does exactly what she's
supposed to.

You know, we're really lucky, Carl.

These days, it's tough to be a good kid.
There's a lot of temptation out there.

A lot of peer pressure.

You know, honey, you're right.

We should reward Laura.

Carl, that's a good idea.

I'll tell you what.

Tonight, we'll give her first crack at
the pork chop.

Last week, the poor kid didn't get any.

All right.

Let's kick it.

Babes, beware. Two dudes on the...

Well, what is it?

It's a combination nose hair trimmer and
flashlight.

I mean, let's be honest, there's a lot
out there we'd like to see.

Now, remember, Waldo, if we find two
girls together, I get the ugly one.

Hey, how come you always get first pick?

Be fine, dear.

Sorry I had to grill you about your ID.
You know, you don't look 28.

Oh, I get that all the time.

Here you go, miss.

Oh, it's Mrs. I'm a divorcee.

Caught my husband with a babysitter.

with muscles.

I mean, ice.

Laura, get a grip.

Yeah, if you're like that with the
waiter, how are you going to handle the

dancer? I'm not. I'm going home.

What? We just got here.

Max, I am not good at this. I'm too
uptight to enjoy myself.

Just be cool. Yeah, don't worry. Nothing
bad's going to happen.

Steve, what are you doing here?

Having a pop, huh?

Where you been?

We went to Bubba's Barbecue, if you must
know.

It was all -you -could -eat night.

Ah.

I'll bet poor Bubba broke into tears
when he saw you.

barbecue breath.

Where are the Winslow women folk?

Well, Rachel talked my mother and
Harriet into going to a nightclub.

Oh, girls night out.

How cute.

What club was it?

Club Buff.

Club Buff?

Well, it bothered me at first that
Harriet went, but then I realized it'll

make her appreciate what she has at
home.

Sure, those dancers have A few muscles
and a lot of hair, but do they have

charisma?

Huh? Steve?

Steve?

Well, I don't know what I did, but I'm
sure glad I did it.

you can't

Such a stick in the mud. Yeah.

Get with it, sugar.

This place is a blast.

So you've been here before?

Once at times.

Hi, Estelle.

Oh. Hello, Derek.

How are the kids?

Oh, just great.

Would you like the usual table?

That'll be just fine.

No man allowed.

And you're close enough. Scram.

I think she was a scientist.

That's a good outfit. Just one question.

Yeah? You're going to use that body?

Well, hey, it's not how many muscles you
have. It's how you use the ones you've

got.

All right, get behind the curtain.
You're on next.

Oh, but I need time to pump up. Well,
you often need plastic surgery, but we

don't have time for that either.

I normally do this about once a month,
but I'm doing it now.

like Club Buff.

I suppose I could ask you the same
question.

But I'm no fool.

I went because Rachel dragged me there.

She was dying to know what a place like
that was like.

She should have asked your grandmother.
She has a lifetime membership.

idea and snuck into that place.

I know.

Why?

It was the only way I could get in.

You know what I mean.

That kind of behavior is not like you.

That was the point, Mom.

I want him to be as little like me as
possible.

Did I miss something?

Mom, all the kids think I'm a Miss Goody
Two -Shoes.

I wanted to prove to them that I could
do something wild and crazy.

What?

Well, I guess we're two peas from the
same pod.

Laura, when I was your age, I was Little
Miss Perfect.

Rachel was the daring one, and she
teased me constantly.

And then one time I wanted to show her
that I could be daring, too.

Well, what'd you do?

Well, the Motown Review came to Chicago.

The Temptations, The Supremes, Little
Stevie Wonder, and my all -time

Smokey Robinson.

Anyway, I did school and went down to
their hotel.

I waited four hours for them to come
out.

Well, did you get the autograph?

Better. When Smokey walked past me, I
grabbed him, bent him back, and

planted a kiss dead smack on his lip.

What a kid.

Found out why they called him Smokey.

Mom, that is so cool.

I thought so, too.

Until my mother turned on the late night
news.

There I was.

Crazy fan, Smoochie Smokey.

Ouch.

Were you grounded?

Until disco came in.

Laura, you want to be cool.

Then keep resisting temptation.

Keep doing what you know in your heart
is right.

That one's really cool.

You're right.

That's my girl.

You know what, Mom?

What?

Every time that I start to think that
nobody in the whole world understands

I feel...

It turns out that you know exactly how I
feel.

Why is that?

Simple. I'm your mom.

The best mom.

Tonight at 6, a woman is accused of
inappropriate behavior during a

visit with her child. On an all -new
Judge Judy. Then at 7, a woman claims

mother opened up a credit card in her
name and ran up the bill and ruined her

credit. On an all -new Judge Joe Brown.

Now it's Family Matters coming up next
on UPN 27.

Distributed by Warner Brothers Domestic
Television Distribution.