Original subtitles

It's a rare condition this day and age to read any good news on the newspaper

page. And love and tradition are the grand design. Some people say it's even

harder to find.

Well, then there must be some magic clue inside these gentle walls.

Because all I see is a tower of dreams. Real love bursting out of everything.

It's the bigger love of the family.

I'm ready for our date. I brought

you fragrant flowers and mouthwatering candy.

Wait till we get in my car.

Steve, we don't have a date tonight.

Oh, all right. I was bluffing. I was hoping you'd think you forgot.

Steve, I think I'd remember going insane.

Now, I'm going to the movies with Maxine.

And if you follow me in that little toy you call a car, I'll stomp on it like

it's a paper cup.

Too many.

Hey, my best bud, Edo.

Well, it's Saturday night. Let's wail. Let's boogie. Let's get down with our

dance. No can do, Steve. I'm going out with Onisha tonight.

Again?

Steve, she is the girl I've waited my whole life to find. Oh, that's how it is

with me and Lars.

Yeah, except Onisha is willing to be seen with me in public.

is urgent. I have info you need to know.

Parental.

What is it?

Well, I can't see it in front of her.

Hey, you can say anything you have to say in front of Onisha.

Okay. Last night, Waldo and I went to Paul's Pizza and Pudding Parlor, and we

saw...

Onesha, how could you kiss me tonight after you kissed some other guy last

night? It wasn't easy.

It made me feel kind of... false.

Oh, man, I don't believe this.

I loved you with all my heart and soul.

And you're a nice person, too.

Onesha, you cheated on me.

We're through.

I don't ever want to see you again.

You know,

I didn't know you played college football.

Oh, that was a long time ago. They used to call me Swivel Hips.

I never still do.

Mother Winslow, why don't we go in the kitchen and make some coffee?

Good idea.

I'll only be a moment, sugar.

What's the matter, Carl?

You've been giving me the cold shoulder all night.

Well, since you brought it up.

You know, I'm a little upset.

You had your arm around my mother all night long.

I was merely showing affection.

Affection?

I saw you two over by the salad bar.

You steamed up the sneeze guard.

It was just a little kiss.

You bent her backwards into the food.

We'll be picking bagel bits out of her hair for weeks.

Carl, your mother and I share a strong passion for each other.

I'm sorry if that upsets you.

All righty.

Coffee will be ready in a minute. Who wants dessert? Fletcher? In a minute,

darling. Right now, I have an early birthday present for you.

How romantic.

Can it, Harriet.

Estelle, on our very first date, you said there was something you always

to do but never got around to.

Well, you and I are going to do it together.

Oh, you mean?

Yep. We go whitewater rafting down the Colorado River.

Oh, yes. Oh, what a great present.

Hold on, hold on, hold on.

This is a one -day trip, isn't it?

No. This is a seven -day trip.

Thank you. He's gonna be shacking up with my mom.

Oh,

Carl, look. A postcard from your mother.

Oh, what? You mean she stopped playing kissy -face long enough to write?

Carl, could I offer you some constructive criticism?

Sure. You're a jackass.

Oh, well, now that's constructive.

Your mother's in love.

Fletcher makes her happy.

But are you happy for her? No. You complain, you criticize, and you poke

You're hurting her, Carl.

Hey, you don't think I'm hurting?

I mean, every time I see my mother with that Fletcher, it reminds me of how

painful it was when I lost my dad.

I understand that.

But your mother's made a choice.

She wants your approval.

And if you don't give it to her, you may lose her, too.

Only 90 braided chains are left.

The perfect gift for the lady you love.

Idy how, couch bud.

Hi, Steve.

Hey, Waldo. What's up?

Anno, put on your glad rags and throw on some fine vines. We're going to a

party.

Thanks, Steve, but I'm not in the mood.

Hey, this is no ordinary party. This is industrial strength. Screaming stereo,

flashing lights, girls in tight dresses, hubba hubba, make it fun.

Thanks, but I'll pass.

It's a housewarming party for Conway Arbuckle. He's losing an apartment

downtown.

No thanks, guys.

Gosh darn it, Mr. Sad Sack.

Stop being such a gloomy guck.

You're pathetic.

Well, guys, it's just that I miss Onisa so much.

Oh, come on, pal. No girl is worth all this suffering.

Eddie, you're coming with us or else.

Or else what?

You gonna drag me to the party?

Nope. We're too clever to use violence.

If you don't come to this party, we're going to sit here with you all night

long.

A macadamia nut, Waldo?

Oh, the Hawaiian treat. Thank you.

Oh,

man!

Get out of here.

I'll go change my clothes.

Thank you.

I just wanted to get some fresh air.

But the Cooper twins are going to show everybody where they're different.

You guys go ahead.

It's impossible for me to have fun without Onisha.

I miss her too much.

Hello.

You look sadder than my parents on the day I was born.

Yeah, I'm proud of you, man.

Why don't you do what we fathers do when we get depressed?

What's that?

We do the Hokey Pokey.

You put your right hand in, you put your right hand out, you put your right hand

in and you shake it all about. You do the Hokey Pokey and you turn yourself

around. That's what it's all about.

That's supposed to cheer me up?

Hey, I'm smiling.

Guys, I never loved a girl the way I loved Alicia.

My heart is broken.

I feel so bad I can barely think of a reason to go on at all.

back up to the window, okay?

Okay, Steve, when I yell go, you hop into the window.

All right.

And Waldo, you go to the other end and act as a counterweight.

Cool.

Okay, Steve, go.

Okay,

Waldo, when I give you the word, I want you to move a step.

You can't get into the window.

Go.

Is that the word?

Yes.

The word's yes.

Well,

I'm not waiting for you to decide which word to use. I'm going.

You know something, guys?

A few minutes ago, I was out on that fire escape feeling like my life was

I felt dead inside.

I mean, I thought losing Onisha was the worst thing that could have happened to

me.

But when the fire escape gave way, I realized that falling 15 stories was a

worse.

I wanted to live.

Hi, Anisha. Hi, Joey.

Joey's upset.

A big metal ladder landed on his new car.

I think the Colorado River got smaller today.

It did?

Yep. I swallowed half of it.

Oh, Fletcher.

This trip is the nicest present anyone has ever given to me.

I thought you might like it.

Well, it's back to the real world tomorrow.

Yeah.

You know, Estelle, When I think back at the best moments of my life for the past

few years, they're always with you.

Honey, I feel the same way.

That's why I want to make sure wonderful moments like this never end.

Bear with me now. Uh -huh.

I love you more than words can say.

You can make me the happiest man in the world if you would consent to be my

bride.

Estelle, will you marry me?

Oh, Fletcher.

Yes, I'll marry you, honey.

Beautiful, Fletcher.

I thought we'd get a place near our family.

That way we can visit them as often as we like.

How do you think of everything?

Not quite.

I have no idea how I'm going to get back up.

Hello, Mother. That airline almost lost my inflatable raft.

Fletcher, I'm glad you're back.

I've got something to say to you.

What's on your mind?

Well, I realized I haven't been very nice to you lately.

Actually, I've never been nice to you.

But while you were gone, I've done some thinking and...

I realize that you're very special to my mother.

And if you're special to her, then you should be special to me.

Friends? Friends.

Oh, I'm so glad you two are getting along.

So am I.

Because, um, Fletcher and I are getting married.

Oh, Mother West, go home!

Did I do that?

Honey, what a great meal.

I am crazy about meatball night.

Well, I'm bushed.

I just want to plop down in front of the tube and veg out.

Me too.

Me three.

Me four.

And me five.

You know, PBS has a scintillating documentary on how human health can be

enhanced by mucus.

in association with Lorimar Television and is distributed by Warner Brothers

Domestic Television Distribution.