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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:28,910 --> 00:00:29,910 Tell what you're thinking. 2 00:00:30,410 --> 00:00:34,290 You're thinking, Steve, why do you have a stool glued to your gluteus? 3 00:00:36,770 --> 00:00:37,770 No. 4 00:00:38,030 --> 00:00:41,930 I was thinking, Carl, why not just sell the house and move away? 5 00:00:42,410 --> 00:00:43,410 Okay, 6 00:00:45,470 --> 00:00:46,429 Steve, I'll bite. 7 00:00:46,430 --> 00:00:47,970 Why are you stuck to a stool? 8 00:00:49,290 --> 00:00:50,290 Correction, my friend. 9 00:00:52,410 --> 00:00:54,430 The stool is stuck to me. 10 00:00:55,370 --> 00:00:56,810 Thanks to my latest invention. 11 00:00:57,470 --> 00:00:58,990 It's a revolutionary super glue. 12 00:00:59,250 --> 00:01:00,250 Wacky tacky. 13 00:01:00,470 --> 00:01:01,470 Patent pending. 14 00:01:04,370 --> 00:01:09,910 Uh, you accidentally glued yourself to a stool? 15 00:01:11,910 --> 00:01:12,930 Oh, please. 16 00:01:13,190 --> 00:01:15,610 What do you mean, a ball? I would... Yeah. 17 00:01:20,390 --> 00:01:21,390 Hello? 18 00:01:22,270 --> 00:01:23,470 Oh, hi, Mrs. Urkel. 19 00:01:23,950 --> 00:01:24,950 Just a minute. 20 00:01:25,070 --> 00:01:26,070 Steve, it's your mom. 21 00:02:28,910 --> 00:02:34,930 It's a rare condition, this day and age, to read any good news on the newspaper 22 00:02:34,930 --> 00:02:41,190 page. And love and tradition of the grand design, some people say, is even 23 00:02:41,190 --> 00:02:42,390 harder to find. 24 00:02:43,570 --> 00:02:49,410 Well, then there must be some magic clue inside these gentle walls. 25 00:02:50,830 --> 00:02:54,230 Because all I see is a tower of dreams. 26 00:03:28,010 --> 00:03:29,350 Crazy world we live in, isn't it? 27 00:03:30,130 --> 00:03:32,410 Crime, war, poverty. 28 00:03:38,770 --> 00:03:42,430 Edward, that's the sports page. 29 00:03:45,330 --> 00:03:46,330 Oh. 30 00:03:49,330 --> 00:03:54,970 Listen, Dad, I'm becoming an adult now, and... No, you can't have a car. 31 00:03:55,190 --> 00:03:56,190 Well, why not? 32 00:03:58,480 --> 00:04:02,660 you know this was about a car the problem is you're going to college next 33 00:04:02,660 --> 00:04:07,040 and i can't afford to buy you a car and pay for school oh well that's cool dad 34 00:04:07,040 --> 00:04:13,460 i've got the perfect solution really i've decided to sacrifice college and go 35 00:04:13,460 --> 00:04:14,460 for the car 36 00:04:32,080 --> 00:04:33,080 What's the matter, Carl? 37 00:04:33,860 --> 00:04:37,220 Harry, is there anything that you're willing to sell? 38 00:04:37,620 --> 00:04:42,080 You know, like an old table, some knickknacks, a kidney? 39 00:04:44,420 --> 00:04:46,160 Eddie told me he'd hit you up for a car. 40 00:04:46,720 --> 00:04:48,500 He's bummed out, but he understands. 41 00:04:50,560 --> 00:04:57,280 You know, Harriet, when Edward was born, I held him in my 42 00:04:57,280 --> 00:04:58,280 arms and... 43 00:04:58,320 --> 00:05:02,000 I promised myself that I would give him everything that he ever needed. 44 00:05:02,320 --> 00:05:05,200 And you have, Carl. He has all the essentials. 45 00:05:05,700 --> 00:05:07,660 Food, shelter, Nintendo. 46 00:05:10,780 --> 00:05:14,000 But most important of all, he has lots of love. 47 00:05:15,080 --> 00:05:18,440 But, Harriet, the boy wants a car. 48 00:05:18,780 --> 00:05:23,740 Now, I can relate to that. I mean, a car to a teenage boy means independence, 49 00:05:24,100 --> 00:05:25,600 freedom, sex appeal. 50 00:05:27,159 --> 00:05:29,440 I don't know, car. You were pretty sexy on your moped. 51 00:05:33,320 --> 00:05:34,640 Well, that's true. 52 00:05:36,500 --> 00:05:38,700 But, sweetheart, I feel like I'm letting him down. 53 00:05:39,280 --> 00:05:43,060 I can't buy Edward a new car. I can't even afford to buy him a decent used 54 00:05:45,240 --> 00:05:47,280 What about buying him an old beat -up car? 55 00:05:48,700 --> 00:05:49,700 What do you mean, a clunker? 56 00:05:50,040 --> 00:05:52,640 Yeah. And you and Eddie can work on it together. 57 00:05:53,000 --> 00:05:54,000 Well, I don't know. 58 00:06:03,720 --> 00:06:07,160 Oh, it would be a great way for us to spend time together. You know, father 59 00:06:07,160 --> 00:06:12,380 son side by side, up to our elbows in Greece, working and sweating till we 60 00:06:12,380 --> 00:06:13,380 like hogs. 61 00:06:15,860 --> 00:06:16,860 I'll let him walk. 62 00:06:20,280 --> 00:06:21,280 Thanks, honey. 63 00:06:21,480 --> 00:06:22,480 Hey. 64 00:06:23,980 --> 00:06:30,380 How did a guy like me ever end up with a genius like you? 65 00:06:31,180 --> 00:06:32,180 I don't know. 66 00:06:32,490 --> 00:06:33,690 I guess I wasn't paying attention. 67 00:06:39,370 --> 00:06:41,710 Why, Wacky Tacky will bond anything. 68 00:06:42,610 --> 00:06:44,790 Plastic, wood, stone, you name it. 69 00:06:45,590 --> 00:06:48,050 Well, what would happen if I spread some on your lips? 70 00:06:49,490 --> 00:06:50,870 Well, my mouth would be shut forever. 71 00:06:55,010 --> 00:06:56,050 That's sick. 72 00:06:59,570 --> 00:07:01,090 Why are my little gummy bears? 73 00:07:02,960 --> 00:07:05,080 Why don't you and I take in a flick? 74 00:07:07,760 --> 00:07:08,760 Pucker up, Steve. 75 00:07:09,220 --> 00:07:11,920 Now give me the clue. Oh. 76 00:07:14,160 --> 00:07:16,680 Listen, Miss Life is Short and You Ain't Gettin' Any Younger. 77 00:07:18,960 --> 00:07:22,900 If you think that you're just gonna open this door one day and find the man of 78 00:07:22,900 --> 00:07:24,440 your dreams, well, you're plum crazy. 79 00:07:39,370 --> 00:07:41,010 Would you like to buy some candy? Why, yes. 80 00:07:41,550 --> 00:07:45,630 Yes, I'll pay. Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me, but the lady has all the 81 00:07:45,630 --> 00:07:46,630 items she needs. 82 00:07:47,410 --> 00:07:48,710 Now be gone, scamp. 83 00:07:50,910 --> 00:07:51,910 Who are you? 84 00:07:52,370 --> 00:07:53,910 Steve Urkel. I'm her man. 85 00:07:56,270 --> 00:07:58,610 He's not my man. He's my albatross. 86 00:07:59,450 --> 00:08:04,510 She's very confused, and sugar will only make it worse. Now... Oh, God! 87 00:08:05,410 --> 00:08:06,410 Won't you come in? 88 00:08:20,330 --> 00:08:21,269 I'm Laura Winslow. 89 00:08:21,270 --> 00:08:22,270 Ted Curran. 90 00:08:22,930 --> 00:08:24,830 Laura, you are beautiful. 91 00:08:25,170 --> 00:08:28,050 Is that my heart pounding or am I still knocking on the door? 92 00:08:28,470 --> 00:08:29,470 Oh, please. 93 00:08:33,270 --> 00:08:34,890 Maybe it's my heart pounding. 94 00:08:35,549 --> 00:08:39,450 Listen, I know we just met, but would you like to go out sometime? 95 00:08:39,890 --> 00:08:40,890 No, she's not interested. 96 00:08:41,190 --> 00:08:42,830 How's tonight? We'll catch a flick. 97 00:08:43,110 --> 00:08:45,170 She doesn't like flicks. I just asked her. 98 00:08:47,330 --> 00:08:48,330 Sounds great. 99 00:08:51,609 --> 00:08:54,650 Great. Well, listen, now that we're friends, I can't sell you candy. 100 00:08:55,210 --> 00:08:56,210 You can't? 101 00:08:56,290 --> 00:08:59,470 No, but I can give you some. 102 00:09:01,290 --> 00:09:02,290 No, 103 00:09:03,870 --> 00:09:05,190 but I can give you some. 104 00:09:10,650 --> 00:09:11,650 See you tonight. 105 00:09:11,910 --> 00:09:12,910 Seven o 'clock. 106 00:09:13,170 --> 00:09:14,170 Be there. 107 00:10:12,460 --> 00:10:17,600 got cheated but you don't know how much i paid for did you give him money yeah 108 00:10:17,600 --> 00:10:24,520 you got cheated okay i admit that she's not much to look at now 109 00:10:24,520 --> 00:10:31,340 but we're gonna fix her up you and me together yes sir there is nothing more 110 00:10:31,340 --> 00:10:33,140 reliable than a police cruiser 111 00:10:42,190 --> 00:10:44,230 Yeah, but that's the beauty of it. 112 00:10:44,590 --> 00:10:45,690 I don't either. 113 00:10:47,590 --> 00:10:52,390 I bought some books and manuals. Now we'll read them and use that knowledge 114 00:10:52,390 --> 00:10:54,450 restore this baby to showroom condition. 115 00:10:54,890 --> 00:11:00,730 But, Dad... Son, use your imagination. 116 00:11:01,070 --> 00:11:03,470 Dad, I... Picture this. 117 00:11:04,250 --> 00:11:07,470 A big, powerful machine. 118 00:11:08,210 --> 00:11:11,970 Bright metallic paint glistens in the sun. A big... 119 00:11:12,360 --> 00:11:17,220 whole racing stripe rips up one side and down the other. You're almost blinded 120 00:11:17,220 --> 00:11:22,800 by sparkling alloy rims, but you can't take your eyes off of her because she's 121 00:11:22,800 --> 00:11:26,720 beauty like no other car that you've ever seen. 122 00:11:27,140 --> 00:11:28,140 Wow. 123 00:11:31,120 --> 00:11:33,440 What's that sound I hear? What's that sound? 124 00:11:33,720 --> 00:11:34,880 What's that sound I hear? 125 00:11:35,380 --> 00:11:38,140 Sounds like babes. 126 00:12:19,060 --> 00:12:23,320 A 455 cubic inches of raw V8 power. 127 00:12:23,580 --> 00:12:24,700 Four barrel cars. 128 00:12:25,080 --> 00:12:26,320 Twin chrome exhaust. 129 00:12:26,700 --> 00:12:29,140 Man, this ride is hype. 130 00:12:29,760 --> 00:12:30,760 Yo, 131 00:12:31,480 --> 00:12:32,480 dad, I'm sold. 132 00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:35,700 Sweetheart, you are going to be the hottest car. 133 00:13:01,630 --> 00:13:04,890 Steve, Ted's going to be here any minute. Could you sort of hurry? 134 00:13:07,310 --> 00:13:08,310 Wow. 135 00:13:09,830 --> 00:13:13,630 I certainly hope you recognize the irony in this situation. 136 00:13:14,510 --> 00:13:15,510 What irony? 137 00:13:16,170 --> 00:13:20,100 Well, here I am, gluing together... the broken pieces of your shattered earring 138 00:13:20,100 --> 00:13:21,580 so you can go out with another man. 139 00:13:22,200 --> 00:13:27,220 But who will glue together the shattered pieces of my broken heart? 140 00:13:27,820 --> 00:13:31,140 Oh, Steve. 141 00:13:31,660 --> 00:13:32,660 Feeling guilty? 142 00:14:48,720 --> 00:14:49,720 believe it's an idea. 143 00:15:23,790 --> 00:15:24,689 Uncle, right? 144 00:15:24,690 --> 00:15:26,790 Yeah, that's what it says on my underpants. 145 00:15:32,030 --> 00:15:33,030 Won't you sit down? 146 00:15:35,050 --> 00:15:36,050 Laura, 147 00:15:36,150 --> 00:15:44,870 I 148 00:15:44,870 --> 00:15:46,010 thought we had a date tonight. 149 00:16:12,780 --> 00:16:13,960 Okay, here it is. 150 00:16:14,620 --> 00:16:20,000 Steve invented a super glue named Wacky Tacky, and then he glued himself to it. 151 00:16:20,460 --> 00:16:21,460 What? 152 00:16:22,240 --> 00:16:25,960 Wait a minute, wait a minute. What do I look like, an idiot? 153 00:16:26,780 --> 00:16:31,040 Well... That doesn't... I'm out of here. 154 00:16:31,620 --> 00:16:32,599 Ted, wait. 155 00:16:32,600 --> 00:16:33,600 I'm telling the truth. 156 00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:35,180 Steve, say something. 157 00:16:35,740 --> 00:16:37,440 I love you, schnuckums. 158 00:16:54,730 --> 00:16:59,410 Working together, man, I get emotional just thinking about it. 159 00:17:04,410 --> 00:17:05,770 I'm all choked up, too. 160 00:17:09,130 --> 00:17:10,130 Yeah. 161 00:17:15,470 --> 00:17:16,470 Waldo. 162 00:17:18,829 --> 00:17:19,829 Where's Edward? 163 00:17:19,849 --> 00:17:20,950 He's putting air in the tire. 164 00:17:21,290 --> 00:17:24,130 I blew up the first three, but then I got real dizzy and threw up in a hubcap. 165 00:17:40,040 --> 00:17:43,180 Oh, no, Dad, I called him over. I thought it'd be kind of fun to work on 166 00:17:43,180 --> 00:17:44,180 with him. 167 00:17:45,040 --> 00:17:47,020 Oh, I see. 168 00:17:48,340 --> 00:17:51,760 Well, I kind of thought that we'd work on it together. 169 00:17:52,420 --> 00:17:57,860 Oh, well, I mean, um, we could do that sometime, if you really want. 170 00:17:58,760 --> 00:18:02,680 Oh, well, yeah, you know, sure, whenever, whatever. 171 00:18:45,450 --> 00:18:47,290 father wanted to get you a car more than anything. 172 00:18:47,550 --> 00:18:50,690 Now, maybe he couldn't afford to spend much money, but he was willing to give 173 00:18:50,690 --> 00:18:51,690 you all the time in the world. 174 00:18:52,050 --> 00:18:54,530 I know, Mom, but Waldo's my buddy and we're having fun. 175 00:18:54,950 --> 00:18:56,650 Oh, I understand. 176 00:18:57,250 --> 00:18:59,790 You hardly ever get a chance to spend time with Waldo. 177 00:19:00,110 --> 00:19:02,110 You're always so busy with your father. 178 00:19:02,310 --> 00:19:03,310 Oh, Mom. 179 00:19:04,270 --> 00:19:09,110 Eddie, your father didn't sleep a wink last night, and neither did I, because 180 00:19:09,110 --> 00:19:12,350 kept going on and on about how much he was looking forward to working with you 181 00:19:12,350 --> 00:19:13,350 on this car. 182 00:19:16,040 --> 00:19:17,040 I didn't know that. 183 00:19:17,740 --> 00:19:22,220 Eddie, you're going to have a lot of friends in your life, but you've only 184 00:19:22,220 --> 00:19:23,220 one father. 185 00:19:23,740 --> 00:19:26,920 And you know you're very lucky to have one who wants to spend time with you. 186 00:19:36,500 --> 00:19:37,500 Hey, Dad? 187 00:19:37,520 --> 00:19:38,520 Yeah, son? 188 00:19:39,200 --> 00:19:42,240 Never thought I'd say this, but we're done. 189 00:19:44,439 --> 00:19:45,780 Yep, we did it. 190 00:19:46,620 --> 00:19:48,500 I love her, Dad. 191 00:19:49,320 --> 00:19:50,320 She's incredible. 192 00:19:50,440 --> 00:19:51,440 Yes, sir. 193 00:19:51,640 --> 00:19:54,100 This baby is fine. 194 00:19:57,600 --> 00:19:59,260 I know this was expensive, Dad. 195 00:19:59,500 --> 00:20:00,900 Oh, yes, it was. 196 00:20:02,780 --> 00:20:03,780 But you know what, Dad? 197 00:20:07,780 --> 00:20:09,640 I wouldn't have missed any of this for the world. 198 00:20:15,460 --> 00:20:16,520 Neither would I, son. 199 00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:31,940 Why don't you climb in, take off, and go impress some ladies? 200 00:20:32,340 --> 00:20:35,280 Well, ladies can wait. I gotta go pick up my best friend. 201 00:20:51,660 --> 00:20:52,660 I've been dead. 14154