Original subtitles

Think,

Tom. Look at those angels.

Look at those sunsets.

Look at those men.

Look at that buffet.

Carl, are you sure we can afford this trip?

No.

But sometimes, Harry, you just have to go for it.

And as long as there are no unexpected expenses, we are on our way.

It's a rare condition, this day and age, to read any good news on the newspaper

page. And love and tradition of the grand design, some people say, is even

harder to find.

Well, then there must be some magic clue inside these gentle walls.

Because all I see is a tower of dreams, real love bursting out of every scene.

Well, it's going to cost a fortune to fix a roof.

We'll have to cancel our vacation.

No, no, not cancel.

Postpone. I'll fix the roof myself.

And I'll buy a sparkly gown and open for Diana Ross.

What are you trying to say?

I'm saying it's a nice idea that you want to fix the roof yourself, but you

can't do it.

And why not, if you please?

Remember when you put in that bathroom for your mother? Yes, what about it?

Well, you ran the gas line into the toilet.

First time she flushed, it blew her into the basement.

Well, there you go again, Harriet.

You know, whenever I try to fix something, do I ever hear, go... for it,

You can do it, Carl.

I'm behind you, Carl.

No.

You give me. You'll be sorry, Carl.

Hire a professional, Carl.

You'll pull your mother into the basement, Carl.

Well, I'm going to fix the roof, Harriet.

And I'm going to fix the roof.

had such a tall house.

You need a tall house because you got a tall son.

Son? Yes, Dad.

You do that again, and I'm taking you with me.

Right, Dad.

Your mother doesn't believe that I can... fix

the roof.

Well, you and I are gonna prove her wrong.

Why do I always have to be involved?

I mean, why can't you just prove Mom wrong?

Because I want you and I to spend some quality time together.

Is it that or because you're not paying me?

Well, that's what makes the time quality.

tie this rope to the box by watching this program this whole house.

We'll use that stuff tomorrow.

Right now, it's time to play

Because if we can't find it, we can't fix it.

Most leaks in your roof are caused by soft spots.

See, so you have to probe very cautiously, very carefully.

See, because otherwise, a small hole...

Pretty good.

You found a leak.

Phillips, a moment of your time, if you please.

What do you want, Jerkel?

the road climb.

No matter how hard I try, I just can't do it.

I have the same problem with Mr. Potato Head.

All right, fellas, you get to go first.

I'll only go half speed.

I mean, we don't want Lori to faint.

But you make me look great.

Oh, chain it, Phillips.

You may have been a better man today, but you hear me.

In a fortnight, not only will I make it up to the top of that rope, but I'll do

it faster than he is.

Why don't you put your money where your mouth is?

Don't do it, Urkel. Money has germs on it.

Steve Urkel would get out of this jam by using the biggest muscle he had.

His brain.

So I broke out in this weird purple rash.

And for two weeks, everything tasted like mustard.

That's why polyester chafes my thighs.

Great story, Dad.

Oh, my gosh.

What's wrong?

We're done.

We're actually done.

Really? Yeah.

Hey.

You did it, Dad.

You fixed the room.

Yeah. I did, didn't I?

When this old world starts getting me down, and people are just too much for

to fit.

I climb way up to the top of the scale, and all my cares

just drift right into space.

too bad i was looking forward to humiliating him i wonder he's so

put all his good qualities on the house

Jack. Jack.

What happened?

He fixed the roof.

The bottom line is, I fixed the roof.

Yes, Carl, you fixed the roof. And all it cost you was an arm.

If you haven't been watching Star Trek Enterprise, tune in and find out what

you've been missing. Tonight at 8, Archer must find a way to unite the

leaders on board the Enterprise against the warmongering Romulans on an all -new

Star Trek Enterprise.

Now stay tuned for Family Matters coming up next on UPN 27.

And it's distributed by Warner Brothers Domestic Television Distribution.