Original subtitles

In most cases, an anti -fungal cream will stop the athlete's foot from

recurring.

Unless, of course, a secondary yeast infection develops.

The end.

Oh,

I too have a title of Dr.

Fink's Guide to Fungus.

Good lad.

hanging out together? Yeah, we're best buds.

Right -a -rooney. Well, gotta dash.

I'm speaking at a protest meeting. Save the roaches.

Ugh, why do you want to save roaches? They're disgusting.

Cutie, roaches are just misunderstood.

In fact, roaches are highly resourceful. They can appear anywhere.

Ooh!

It's a rare condition this day and age to read any good news on the newspaper

page. Love and tradition of the grand design.

Some people say it's even harder to find.

Well, if there must be some magic clue inside these gentle walls.

That's all I see is a tower of dreams. Real love bursting out of everything.

This. This.

Because I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

Is dad home?

No. Is mom home? No.

Okay, good.

I have a few more hours to live.

damage did you do?

I got an estimate.

800 bucks?

How am I going to get my hands on that kind of cash?

Why don't you just fess up?

Why don't you just get real?

Fine, Eddie.

Do what you always do. Fall into a hole and dig it deeper. But don't be

surprised when it turns out to be your grave.

Here. Put this on your headstone.

Any chance, would you happen to have some spare cash?

Well, have you ever been to Mom's Bakery?

Yeah. They've got killer cookies.

That's not all they've got.

Mom's Bakery is a front for an illegal gambling casino.

Well, how do you know about this?

My Uncle Cecil used to play roulette there.

Used to?

Did he lose all of his money?

Au contraire, mon frere.

Most people lose at gambling.

We Urkels possess a sixth sense.

When it comes to games of chance, we never, ever lose.

Then let's get over to that casino. You can help me win the money. I need to fix

the car.

Except for one big problem.

It's illegal.

That's true, Steve.

But it's just that if we did this together, we'd...

just together usually end up becoming real good friends.

You know, hang out a lot.

Best buds?

Exactly. But like you said, it's illegal.

Yes, this could be the first step on a road to the life of crime.

I'd met her.

Me too, me too.

But Rachel, remember, Aunt Clotilda was 94 years old.

She lived a long, full life.

Well, how did she die?

Well, she was at the Senior Citizen Center and she collapsed while she was

leading the game of Simon Says.

That's Aunt Clotilda.

She has to be cremated and have her ashes scattered over like Michigan.

So we're going to rent a boat and do it tonight.

She doesn't have any other relatives?

Only an older sister.

But she popped a kneecap during the Simon Says fiasco.

We better start making the arrangements.

Mother went slow.

Maybe you can help Rachel with some tea.

Mother Winslow.

What, honey?

When you... When you... Bite the big one?

Right.

Would you rather be buried or cremated?

Surprise me.

New candy jar?

Hey, Dad.

Now look what you made me do.

Sorry, Dad.

Oh, I got ashes all over the new candy jar.

Or blue.

Sugar is sweet, but not...

We might be in a little over our heads here.

Yeah, maybe, but we're stuck.

How come?

Well, I forgot the password to get out.

Look, just pretend like we belong here. Kind of like what I do in my house.

Do you really need a cabin cruiser for three hours?

If all you're going to do is complain about how expensive this is, you can

stay home.

You gonna stop complaining?

No, I'm gonna stay home.

I mean, you gotta go down to the mortuary and pick up Aunt Moe Floppy

I hate those places. They give me the heebie -jeebies.

We don't have to go pick up Aunt Clodilda. She's right here.

Wait a minute.

Isn't that a candy jar?

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

What's wrong?

It just hit me.

I suddenly realized just how much Aunt Clobaba meant to me.

Clo -tilda.

Clo -tilda, Clobaba. The point is, she's gone.

Really, really gone.

I've changed my mind.

I want to go with you all.

I want to pay my respects.

You ladies go ahead.

I need a moment alone with this.

That's the sixth sense when it comes to gambling.

32 grand.

That Clotilde is at peace.

I know.

I know.

Harriet, can I speak to you for a moment?

Alone? What is it, Carl?

Well, I've got a little confession to make.

Maybe you better sit down for this one.

What have you done this time?

Harriet.

Darling.

Sweetheart.

Honeybunch.

Spit it out, Carl.

Okay, here goes.

Well, we didn't really spread your aunt's ashes over Lake Michigan tonight.

Carl, I was there. I thought. Well, I know, I know.

We spread some ashes.

But they weren't your aunt Clotilda's. At least not all of them.

Well, then, who's that? Who are they?

Aunt Presto logs.

Well, we may have floated parts of Aunt Glotilda, but which part? Well,

only the good Lord can sift that out.

Well, where's the rest of her?

Right over there in that hefty bag.

Crazy accident.

I feel terrible about it.

I want to make it up to you.

How?

I know.

I'll pop for another hour's boat rental and we'll all go out and throw the bag

over. Huh? Sounds good?

I'll get that.

You've had a rough day.

Not as rough as Aunt Clotilde.

Hello.

Edward.

Sure, I got a moment. What's up?

is in jail.

What happened?

He and Steve got busted for... Now, Edward, stop looking around for Steve.

having the same discussion with his father.

Now, let me get this straight.

You dented the car.

Then, instead of admitting it, you got yourself involved in gambling.

Is that about covering?

Yes, sir.

Sit down, Edward.

Edward Arthur Winslow.

Son, I am ashamed of you.

Don't you know that when you make a mistake, you fess up to it?

Trying to cover it up only makes things worse.

Yes, sir.

But apparently, you seem to want to learn these things the hard way.

Well, so be it.

You're grounded for three weeks.

And you are to stay away from my car until it learns self -defense.

Okay, hit the sack.

Well, that's taken care of.

Now, let me get this straight.

You dumped one of my relatives in a hefty bag.

Then, instead of admitting it, you let us spread a log on Lake Michigan.

Does that about cover it?

Yes, ma 'am.

Sit down, Carl.

Carl!

Carl Otis Winslow, I'm ashamed of you.

Will you make a mistake?

You won't learn these things the hard way.

So be it.

You're taking me to dinner to Shea Josephine's?

Yes, ma 'am.

Okay.

Let's hit the set. Yes, ma 'am.

Every weekday...

ABC Family's new season of Gilmore Girls.

You're my only daughter that I know of. And this year, the girls are growing up

fast. Grandma wants a picture.

Of this?

Well, one of them anyway.

He so likes me.

If she throws up, you're golden. My God, you look virile today.

Don't hate me. I don't hate you. I can't hate the pathetic.

The new season of Gilmore Girls.

Weekdays at 5, 4 central on ABC Family.

You too, Rosie.

Spread that around, will ya?