All language subtitles for Ellen s02e11 ellen s new friend

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,640 --> 00:00:06,640 Yeah, 2 00:00:10,300 --> 00:00:11,800 Mom, I'm really getting into this cooking thing. 3 00:00:12,160 --> 00:00:14,780 Yeah, I had a long day at work. I didn't have a quiet evening at home. 4 00:00:15,340 --> 00:00:16,340 Now I'm by myself. 5 00:00:17,180 --> 00:00:18,180 Why are you crying? 6 00:00:20,220 --> 00:00:25,840 Mom, Mom, a clove of garlic, that seems like a lot to put that whole... It comes 7 00:00:25,840 --> 00:00:26,940 apart. Okay. 8 00:00:27,300 --> 00:00:28,300 Okay. 9 00:00:28,700 --> 00:00:29,700 All right. 10 00:00:30,540 --> 00:00:31,700 Also, a pinch of salt. 11 00:00:31,920 --> 00:00:34,320 What is the... Oh, it's an actual pinch. 12 00:00:34,760 --> 00:00:36,040 How do you get your fingers in there? 13 00:00:37,100 --> 00:00:38,260 I gotta go. 14 00:00:38,580 --> 00:00:39,580 All right. Bye. 15 00:01:01,660 --> 00:01:02,720 Hey, what are you doing? 16 00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:04,000 I'm cooking. 17 00:01:10,620 --> 00:01:12,200 So, you sure you don't mind covering for me? 18 00:01:12,400 --> 00:01:14,000 No. I should be back in about an hour. 19 00:01:14,260 --> 00:01:15,219 Definitely, yes. 20 00:01:15,220 --> 00:01:17,760 And you know the register codes? Answer hazy. Try again later. 21 00:01:18,820 --> 00:01:21,380 Joe, what was with you today? I went to the doctor this morning. 22 00:01:22,240 --> 00:01:23,098 Upset stomach. 23 00:01:23,100 --> 00:01:24,880 He ran a few tests, and it's not good. 24 00:01:25,340 --> 00:01:27,260 Oh, my God, Joe. I'm sorry. What did he say? 25 00:01:27,620 --> 00:01:28,620 I have an ulcer. 26 00:01:28,860 --> 00:01:30,300 Oh, that's too bad. 27 00:01:30,680 --> 00:01:31,820 That's not the bad part. 28 00:01:32,860 --> 00:01:34,280 I can't have coffee anymore. 29 00:01:35,740 --> 00:01:36,820 See that guy there? 30 00:01:37,580 --> 00:01:38,580 It used to be me. 31 00:01:40,700 --> 00:01:41,700 Lucky bastard. 32 00:01:44,540 --> 00:01:47,700 Hey, you. Ready for lunch? I'm famished. Yeah, me too. 33 00:01:47,920 --> 00:01:51,720 Hey, did I mention that somebody might be joining us today? I'm not eating 34 00:01:51,720 --> 00:01:52,720 with your mother. 35 00:01:53,320 --> 00:01:54,320 It's worse. 36 00:01:54,570 --> 00:02:00,310 Audrey, see ya. Oh, come on. She is the most horrible, negative, annoying person 37 00:02:00,310 --> 00:02:01,310 on the planet. 38 00:02:01,350 --> 00:02:05,690 True, but she's my friend, and I don't want to hurt her, so I have these guilt 39 00:02:05,690 --> 00:02:06,850 lunches every few months. 40 00:02:07,190 --> 00:02:08,289 Don't get guilt. 41 00:02:08,690 --> 00:02:09,810 I think it's stupid. 42 00:02:10,509 --> 00:02:13,370 Well, it may be stupid, but it gives my life meaning. 43 00:02:13,650 --> 00:02:15,830 And the good news is... 44 00:02:16,670 --> 00:02:20,830 And the good news is that she's bringing her friend Jessica along. Remember I 45 00:02:20,830 --> 00:02:23,650 told you about her? She's the travel writer for Rolling Stone. She's been 46 00:02:23,650 --> 00:02:26,610 everywhere. She's done everything. And whenever she's in town, she throws the 47 00:02:26,610 --> 00:02:27,690 coolest parties. 48 00:02:28,530 --> 00:02:31,250 She's that terrific, huh? I've never met her, but today's the day. 49 00:02:31,650 --> 00:02:32,650 I want you to come. 50 00:02:32,950 --> 00:02:33,950 Hi, Ellen. 51 00:02:34,130 --> 00:02:34,989 Hi, Audrey. 52 00:02:34,990 --> 00:02:35,990 Hi. 53 00:02:36,570 --> 00:02:39,570 Ellen, Paige, this is my friend Jessica. Hi. Hi. Hi. 54 00:02:40,470 --> 00:02:42,550 The coffee bar doesn't seem to be doing much business. 55 00:02:45,260 --> 00:02:46,800 Well, it ebbs and flows, you know. 56 00:02:47,240 --> 00:02:48,460 What a great bookstore. 57 00:02:48,880 --> 00:02:50,200 Thanks, Jessica. Let me show you around. Okay. 58 00:02:51,580 --> 00:02:53,140 Paige, what happened to your hair? 59 00:02:56,280 --> 00:02:57,280 Ellen! 60 00:02:59,720 --> 00:03:05,960 I envy you. To be surrounded by the aroma of roasting coffee day in, day 61 00:03:07,740 --> 00:03:09,500 I can't have coffee anymore. 62 00:03:10,060 --> 00:03:13,660 I had to give up coffee once. I thought the caffeine headaches would kill me. 63 00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:15,000 When did you quit? 64 00:03:15,160 --> 00:03:17,000 197 minutes ago. 65 00:03:17,380 --> 00:03:21,280 The first few days are like a honeymoon, but the next four months are brutal. 66 00:03:22,120 --> 00:03:23,120 Brutal! 67 00:03:23,700 --> 00:03:26,880 You know what? I always thought that maybe I'd go in for travel writing 68 00:03:26,980 --> 00:03:29,360 You know, if I ever went anywhere and was a good writer. 69 00:03:31,920 --> 00:03:34,680 So what's like your single greatest travel experience? 70 00:03:35,100 --> 00:03:39,520 Well, I guess the coolest thing ever would have to be the sunrise balloon 71 00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:40,259 in Kenya. 72 00:03:40,260 --> 00:03:43,020 Wow. I once took a sunrise super shuttle to the airport. 73 00:03:44,720 --> 00:03:46,280 Headed up to Fresno for the weekend. 74 00:03:46,540 --> 00:03:48,560 Whoa. You'd think it would stop. 75 00:03:48,820 --> 00:03:51,480 The pounding and pounding and pounding. 76 00:03:51,860 --> 00:03:53,460 People say it's like a jackhammer. 77 00:03:53,800 --> 00:03:57,160 Ha! After two months of this, you would pray for a jackhammer. 78 00:03:59,660 --> 00:04:01,300 Please go away. 79 00:04:02,740 --> 00:04:04,120 Hey, Audrey, we should get going. 80 00:04:05,520 --> 00:04:06,540 Alan, have you put on a little weight? 81 00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:12,800 You know, 82 00:04:16,620 --> 00:04:19,320 this living apart arrangement seems to really be working out well. 83 00:04:20,540 --> 00:04:22,260 Sure, I had to let them in to deliver this. 84 00:04:23,200 --> 00:04:25,500 Darn it, I ordered a medium V -neck sweater. 85 00:04:26,780 --> 00:04:30,240 When they settled my uncle Phil's estate, we each got to pick one item. 86 00:04:31,060 --> 00:04:32,160 Chose the biggest thing there. 87 00:04:33,060 --> 00:04:34,480 And you brought it in to show me. 88 00:04:36,540 --> 00:04:37,540 Hey. Hey. 89 00:04:38,980 --> 00:04:39,980 It's mine. 90 00:04:40,340 --> 00:04:41,340 How do you like it? 91 00:04:41,980 --> 00:04:46,200 Adam, I thought that we'd been through this. On game shows, we always take the 92 00:04:46,200 --> 00:04:47,200 cash. 93 00:04:47,960 --> 00:04:49,480 Hey, wasn't lunch today terrific? 94 00:04:49,860 --> 00:04:52,460 I thought you were having lunch with Audrey. Yeah, she brought this friend, 95 00:04:52,580 --> 00:04:54,780 Jessica. She's a travel writer for Rolling Stone. 96 00:04:55,000 --> 00:04:56,940 She's actually been to the top of the Matterhorn. 97 00:04:57,200 --> 00:04:58,159 At Disneyland? 98 00:04:58,160 --> 00:04:59,160 Who hasn't? 99 00:05:00,410 --> 00:05:03,150 You should call her and see if she wants to go to the movie with us tonight. I'd 100 00:05:03,150 --> 00:05:06,270 love to, but I can't. She's Audrey's friend. I won't go behind her back. It'd 101 00:05:06,270 --> 00:05:07,270 like cheating on her. 102 00:05:07,310 --> 00:05:09,790 Audrey gets hurt very easily, and I can't live with the guilt. 103 00:05:11,190 --> 00:05:12,230 So I'll call her. 104 00:05:12,530 --> 00:05:15,630 No, you have even less right than I do. You're two friends removed. 105 00:05:15,910 --> 00:05:16,910 No. 106 00:05:17,770 --> 00:05:20,570 If we want to become friends with Jessica, we just have to let it happen 107 00:05:20,570 --> 00:05:23,970 naturally. Okay, then. Let's pick a movie that Jessica would be at. 108 00:05:24,850 --> 00:05:25,850 All right, I'll get the paper. 109 00:05:27,510 --> 00:05:28,970 Oh, furniture huge. 110 00:05:29,430 --> 00:05:30,770 Gravitational force too strong. 111 00:05:31,990 --> 00:05:33,070 Must break free. 112 00:05:33,850 --> 00:05:34,950 Must warn others. 113 00:05:40,250 --> 00:05:42,410 Hello? Hi, Ellen, it's Audrey. 114 00:05:42,870 --> 00:05:43,769 Audrey, hi. 115 00:05:43,770 --> 00:05:45,650 Do you want to come over to my place for dinner on Tuesday? 116 00:05:46,050 --> 00:05:47,670 Oh, let me check my book. 117 00:05:50,490 --> 00:05:53,550 Oh, darn, I'm pretty busy. This would be what, just you and me? 118 00:05:53,770 --> 00:05:54,770 And Jessica. 119 00:05:57,030 --> 00:05:58,250 Let me check again. 120 00:06:02,110 --> 00:06:04,090 Oh, wait. You said Tuesday? 121 00:06:05,050 --> 00:06:05,929 Tuesday's fine. 122 00:06:05,930 --> 00:06:09,950 Here I was, and this is actually kind of funny, thinking you said today, only in 123 00:06:09,950 --> 00:06:14,650 kind of a goofy voice and adding a zoos sound, which I was thinking was a speech 124 00:06:14,650 --> 00:06:17,450 impediment, so that's why I wasn't about to make fun of that. That would be 125 00:06:17,450 --> 00:06:18,950 wrong. So no, Tuesday's good. 126 00:06:19,250 --> 00:06:20,270 I'll put it in my book. 127 00:06:20,490 --> 00:06:22,110 All right, so I'll see you there, Audrey. 128 00:06:34,860 --> 00:06:36,520 The party's inside. Actually, I've got to run. 129 00:06:37,140 --> 00:06:38,780 Out to the party, get something, then right back inside? 130 00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:43,420 No, my editor just paged me. I have to fill in for a friend on an assignment. 131 00:06:43,540 --> 00:06:44,840 I'm on my way to San Francisco. 132 00:06:45,980 --> 00:06:46,980 Then right back here? 133 00:06:47,760 --> 00:06:50,200 I'm sorry. We'll definitely do this another time. 134 00:07:06,540 --> 00:07:08,260 because I thought you'd forget the apartment number. 135 00:07:08,540 --> 00:07:10,540 Weren't you a little blotto last time you were here? 136 00:07:11,780 --> 00:07:16,480 No. Hey, listen, Jessica just told me what happened, so if you want to do this 137 00:07:16,480 --> 00:07:17,680 another night... Oh, don't be crazy. 138 00:07:18,280 --> 00:07:22,180 Anyway, you should be relieved about Jessica. She'd have driven us nuts 139 00:07:22,180 --> 00:07:23,220 about her stupid party. 140 00:07:24,300 --> 00:07:25,520 She's having a stupid party? 141 00:07:25,720 --> 00:07:27,300 Please, she's been planning it for weeks. 142 00:07:27,660 --> 00:07:32,240 Two chefs from the Culinary Institute, six courses, three wines, blah, blah, 143 00:07:32,260 --> 00:07:33,260 blah. 144 00:07:33,300 --> 00:07:34,300 Why the big fuss? 145 00:07:34,640 --> 00:07:36,080 Food is food, am I right? 146 00:07:36,410 --> 00:07:38,090 Yeah, that's what I always say about food. 147 00:07:38,570 --> 00:07:39,389 It's food. 148 00:07:39,390 --> 00:07:41,870 Oh, and then celebrity guests start to arrive. 149 00:07:42,150 --> 00:07:44,270 That's just how I want to spend my Saturday night. 150 00:07:44,490 --> 00:07:46,650 Listening to Quentin Tarantino drone on. 151 00:07:46,970 --> 00:07:48,290 Me, me, me, Khan. 152 00:07:48,550 --> 00:07:53,350 Me, me, me, John Travolta. Me, me, me, most talented filmmaker of the decade. 153 00:07:54,110 --> 00:07:55,790 Excuse me, do I look like I'm interested? 154 00:07:57,650 --> 00:08:00,050 Better come in, the noodle casserole's starting to burn. 155 00:08:08,300 --> 00:08:11,540 It was horrible. Four hours of noodle casserole and Yahtzee. 156 00:08:12,640 --> 00:08:14,380 I never even got to talk to Jessica. 157 00:08:17,620 --> 00:08:19,580 So how's the coffee this morning? 158 00:08:20,860 --> 00:08:24,060 It's okay. Oh, and you wouldn't believe the party that Jessica's throwing 159 00:08:24,060 --> 00:08:25,060 Saturday night. 160 00:08:25,180 --> 00:08:28,200 Incredible food, live music, Quentin Tarantuti. 161 00:08:30,920 --> 00:08:34,039 I've lived in Los Angeles 12 years. I've never been to a party like that. 162 00:08:34,679 --> 00:08:37,919 If I were to kiss you now, would... I taste coffee. 163 00:08:38,840 --> 00:08:42,640 Probably. And the thing is, you know, I can't just call up and invite myself 164 00:08:42,640 --> 00:08:45,340 because I still haven't spent enough time with her. There are firmly 165 00:08:45,340 --> 00:08:48,960 rules. You start to violate these rules, society breaks down. You have anarchy, 166 00:08:49,000 --> 00:08:50,220 chaos, tribal warfare. 167 00:08:52,820 --> 00:08:54,140 You're not even listening to me. 168 00:08:54,740 --> 00:08:58,520 I'm sorry, Ellen. I can't focus. I haven't had a sip of coffee in four 169 00:08:58,940 --> 00:09:02,980 Last night, I was hallucinating. My espresso mugs broke into a rendition of 170 00:09:02,980 --> 00:09:03,980 Our Guest. 171 00:09:08,500 --> 00:09:10,780 party. Sweet, sweet coffee breath. 172 00:09:12,900 --> 00:09:13,900 What's wrong with me? 173 00:09:14,620 --> 00:09:17,600 I'm a grown woman. There's only one way to go about this. 174 00:09:20,480 --> 00:09:22,140 Hello? Audrey, hi. 175 00:09:23,160 --> 00:09:25,760 Ellen? Yes, of course it's me. Crazy? 176 00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:28,920 Three times in one week. Boy, it's feast or famine with you. 177 00:09:29,220 --> 00:09:32,640 Well, die on a bib and ring that chow bell. 178 00:09:34,350 --> 00:09:36,670 Because, I mean, I just had so much fun with you last night, I thought maybe we 179 00:09:36,670 --> 00:09:37,670 could get together this weekend. 180 00:09:37,930 --> 00:09:39,050 I guess that would be okay. 181 00:09:39,310 --> 00:09:39,989 When are you free? 182 00:09:39,990 --> 00:09:42,090 Well, weekend's wide open. I'm giving you first crack. 183 00:09:42,610 --> 00:09:43,610 How about Sunday? 184 00:09:43,830 --> 00:09:44,830 Oh, Sunday's no good. 185 00:09:45,950 --> 00:09:47,510 I thought you said you were free all weekend. 186 00:09:47,770 --> 00:09:50,830 Well, yes, but I tend to think of the weekend as Friday and Saturday. Sunday 187 00:09:50,830 --> 00:09:54,110 our family was the Sabbath, a time for quiet reflection. My daddy was a very 188 00:09:54,110 --> 00:09:55,890 religious man. I'm sure you can respect that. 189 00:09:57,439 --> 00:09:58,660 Well, what about Friday? 190 00:09:58,900 --> 00:10:02,140 Oh, now, see, Friday I think of as part of my work week. I think it was my mama 191 00:10:02,140 --> 00:10:04,420 who instilled in us a strong Puritan work ethic. 192 00:10:05,920 --> 00:10:06,920 What about Saturday? 193 00:10:07,380 --> 00:10:08,740 Hmm, Saturday I have plans. 194 00:10:09,540 --> 00:10:11,980 Well, I could, you know, tag along. 195 00:10:12,380 --> 00:10:15,460 Doesn't matter to me what you have to do so long as I get to see you. I mean, 196 00:10:15,460 --> 00:10:18,720 I've just had so much fun with you that I thought that we should, you know, get 197 00:10:18,720 --> 00:10:21,720 together because I just really have to see you Saturday night from 7 .30 on. 198 00:10:23,040 --> 00:10:26,260 Actually, it's just this party at Jessica's. Would you mind dropping by? 199 00:10:26,850 --> 00:10:27,850 Jessica. 200 00:10:28,370 --> 00:10:33,430 Oh, your friend. Right, yeah. Well, you know, hey, if you feel like you need to 201 00:10:33,430 --> 00:10:37,510 put in an appearance, what am I saying? If it means I get to spend time with 202 00:10:37,510 --> 00:10:38,510 you, let's do it! 203 00:10:47,010 --> 00:10:48,010 Hey, Adam. 204 00:10:48,370 --> 00:10:51,350 I just talked to my cousin, Kip. You know what he got for my uncle's estate? 205 00:10:51,690 --> 00:10:52,970 The Lincoln Green letters. 206 00:10:53,390 --> 00:10:54,390 Get out of here. 207 00:10:54,990 --> 00:10:55,990 You're kidding. 208 00:10:56,510 --> 00:10:57,510 What are they? 209 00:10:58,950 --> 00:11:02,550 My great -great -great -uncle corresponded with Abraham Lincoln right 210 00:11:02,550 --> 00:11:03,550 the assassination. 211 00:11:03,670 --> 00:11:07,270 The family thought the letters had been lost over the years, and now Kip finds 212 00:11:07,270 --> 00:11:08,410 them in my uncle's hope chest. 213 00:11:08,850 --> 00:11:12,050 Yeah, but does he have seven little drawers for his underwear and cufflinks? 214 00:11:12,270 --> 00:11:13,270 I think not. 215 00:11:14,510 --> 00:11:18,330 Okay, I did a book report on Lincoln in junior high. Those letters should be 216 00:11:18,330 --> 00:11:20,130 mine. I'm calling him back. 217 00:11:22,310 --> 00:11:23,710 You don't live here anymore! 218 00:11:35,010 --> 00:11:38,110 Amazing. I envy how you never seem to care how you look. 219 00:11:42,990 --> 00:11:45,750 Well, look, smell, I'm just that kind of girl. 220 00:11:47,530 --> 00:11:49,890 Besides, people will wear anything to a party. 221 00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:50,949 Oh, that. 222 00:11:50,950 --> 00:11:53,010 I called Jessica and told her I couldn't make it. 223 00:11:54,210 --> 00:11:55,670 Well, why would you do that? 224 00:11:56,170 --> 00:11:58,170 Well, you seem so anxious to get together with me. 225 00:11:59,050 --> 00:12:02,890 I wasn't about to drag you off to one of Jessica's parties with all the food and 226 00:12:02,890 --> 00:12:04,390 the music and the beautiful people. 227 00:12:04,690 --> 00:12:05,990 I made a dinner reservation. 228 00:12:06,610 --> 00:12:07,610 Adieu. 229 00:12:08,670 --> 00:12:09,670 Très bien. 230 00:12:10,410 --> 00:12:13,250 I hope you like cowpokes. It's only two blocks away. We can walk. 231 00:12:13,530 --> 00:12:17,970 Tonight's their $5 .95 unlimited steak and salad bar. You can eat yourself 232 00:12:19,730 --> 00:12:20,730 I'm already there. 233 00:12:27,950 --> 00:12:29,610 When did you start this vegetarian kit? 234 00:12:30,630 --> 00:12:31,630 Thirteen years ago. 235 00:12:32,310 --> 00:12:35,290 You won't try a bite of flank steak? No one has to know. 236 00:12:36,290 --> 00:12:37,470 No, that's a tail cast. 237 00:12:37,830 --> 00:12:38,970 It's not gristly, look. 238 00:12:39,230 --> 00:12:40,230 Just pure muscle. 239 00:12:40,570 --> 00:12:43,050 I know you vegetarians get worked up about the gristle. 240 00:12:43,770 --> 00:12:46,630 It's actually the whole idea of the meat that gets to it. 241 00:12:47,370 --> 00:12:49,810 Oh, would you have been miserable at Jessica's party? 242 00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:52,750 One tray of exotic food after another. 243 00:12:53,030 --> 00:12:54,030 And pretension? 244 00:12:54,430 --> 00:12:57,170 We know you studied cooking in Paris. You can stop showing off now. 245 00:12:58,170 --> 00:12:59,770 It doesn't sound, you know, terrible. 246 00:13:00,090 --> 00:13:01,170 You won't believe the invitation. 247 00:13:02,450 --> 00:13:07,530 Raised script, perfume tissue paper, a watercolor map to her house. It just 248 00:13:07,530 --> 00:13:08,530 doesn't stop. 249 00:13:09,050 --> 00:13:11,710 You and I are different. We have simple tastes. 250 00:13:13,130 --> 00:13:14,970 Mmm. What do you call this lettuce? 251 00:13:15,570 --> 00:13:16,570 Iceberg. 252 00:13:17,010 --> 00:13:18,010 Delicious. 253 00:13:18,570 --> 00:13:20,970 Well, time for round two. 254 00:13:21,210 --> 00:13:22,210 Excuse me. 255 00:13:39,340 --> 00:13:46,260 455 -4858 -4858 -4858 -4858 -4858 -4858 -4858 -4858 -4858 256 00:13:46,260 --> 00:13:47,260 -4858 -4858 -4858 -4858 -4858 -4858 -4858 -4858 -4858 -4858 -4858 -4858 257 00:13:47,260 --> 00:13:49,160 -4858 -4858 -4858 -4858 -4858 -4858 -4858 -4858 -4858 -4858 -4858 -4858 258 00:13:49,160 --> 00:13:51,700 -4858 -4858 -4858 -4858 -4858 -4858 -4858 -4858 -4858 -4858 -4858 -4858 259 00:13:51,700 --> 00:13:52,660 -4858 -4858 -4858 -4858 -4858 -4858 -4858 -4858 -4858 -4858 -4858 -4858 260 00:13:52,660 --> 00:13:58,180 -4858 -4858 -4858 -4858 -4858 -4858 -4858 -4858 -4858 -4858 261 00:13:58,180 --> 00:14:02,640 -4858 262 00:14:02,640 --> 00:14:09,480 -4858 -4858 I'm just going to go, 263 00:14:09,560 --> 00:14:14,380 okay? All right, but call me 555 -5854. 264 00:14:18,880 --> 00:14:21,480 Can you believe Kip's going to trade me the letters for this thing? 265 00:14:24,620 --> 00:14:26,960 Adam, it's your armoire. You could help a little. 266 00:14:27,280 --> 00:14:28,280 I have a bad back. 267 00:14:30,540 --> 00:14:33,460 4858 -4858 -4858 -4858. 268 00:14:34,010 --> 00:14:35,730 It's as if she's trying to tell us something. 269 00:14:35,950 --> 00:14:39,830 4 -8 -5 -8, 4 -8 -5 -8, 4 -8 -5 -8. If only we could crack her mysterious cone. 270 00:14:43,950 --> 00:14:44,950 It's ringing. 271 00:14:45,210 --> 00:14:47,490 4 -8 -5 -8, 4 -8 -5 -8. What am I doing? 272 00:14:48,350 --> 00:14:49,350 Jessica, hi. 273 00:14:49,890 --> 00:14:51,730 It's Ellen, Audrey's friend. 274 00:14:52,350 --> 00:14:54,230 What? You're having a party? 275 00:14:55,190 --> 00:14:58,590 Really? Me? Nothing? I'm just sitting around, relaxing. 276 00:15:00,150 --> 00:15:02,550 Paige? Sure, I'll invite her. Are you sure we're not imposing? 277 00:15:03,280 --> 00:15:07,420 Okay. All right. Let me just write down your address. 278 00:15:08,520 --> 00:15:09,560 Okay, what is it? 279 00:15:11,060 --> 00:15:12,460 5458 Keough Drive. 280 00:15:12,960 --> 00:15:14,860 Okay, we'll see you soon. Bye. 281 00:15:15,760 --> 00:15:20,380 5458, 5458, 5458, 5458, 5458, 5458. 282 00:15:29,960 --> 00:15:34,380 There's no question that Renoir's rules of the game revolutionized the French 283 00:15:34,380 --> 00:15:41,080 cinema and paved the way for Godard, Truffaut, Brunet, and, in fact, the 284 00:15:41,080 --> 00:15:42,080 new wave. 285 00:15:42,120 --> 00:15:44,560 Did you see Home Alone? I thought that was so funny. 286 00:15:46,400 --> 00:15:50,640 That was Carly Culkin. He's a little whippersnapper. 287 00:15:58,920 --> 00:16:02,760 I know. It's great. I actually had a five -minute conversation with Nicholas 288 00:16:02,760 --> 00:16:03,760 Cage. 289 00:16:03,840 --> 00:16:04,840 Hey, you guys. 290 00:16:04,960 --> 00:16:06,020 Have you tried these? 291 00:16:07,280 --> 00:16:09,080 They're really good, don't you think? 292 00:16:10,300 --> 00:16:11,300 Flavor. 293 00:16:11,480 --> 00:16:12,479 Don't tell me. 294 00:16:12,480 --> 00:16:13,480 Cilantro, right? 295 00:16:13,620 --> 00:16:16,180 Excellent. You have good taste buds. It's fairly subtle. 296 00:16:16,780 --> 00:16:18,740 I was going to say cilantro. 297 00:16:19,020 --> 00:16:19,979 I was like, cilantro! 298 00:16:19,980 --> 00:16:21,680 I almost said it. I yelled it out. 299 00:16:21,880 --> 00:16:25,460 Because my taste buds, too, were right on it just as well. And I just didn't 300 00:16:25,460 --> 00:16:26,500 have my hand on the buzzer, I guess. 301 00:16:27,760 --> 00:16:31,220 It's a bean and herb puree called bouleville deca. I learned how to make 302 00:16:31,220 --> 00:16:32,220 I lived in Cairo. 303 00:16:32,700 --> 00:16:33,700 Hey, Quentin. 304 00:16:35,560 --> 00:16:36,560 Quentin, Karen Tootie. 305 00:16:37,820 --> 00:16:42,220 It's really great of you to invite us at such short notice. I am thrilled you 306 00:16:42,220 --> 00:16:43,099 both dropped by. 307 00:16:43,100 --> 00:16:44,260 We should have lunch sometime. 308 00:16:44,520 --> 00:16:46,620 We could get together. How about Tuesday? We could meet at the bookstore. 309 00:16:47,060 --> 00:16:48,200 I'm in. Sounds great. 310 00:16:48,460 --> 00:16:52,080 Now, if you'll excuse me, I suppose I should mingle. Okay. All right, see you. 311 00:16:52,740 --> 00:16:54,600 Oh, she's... Yeah, she's great. 312 00:16:55,160 --> 00:16:58,840 See, and the thing is, now we've become friends with her independent of Audrey, 313 00:16:58,980 --> 00:17:01,080 and the best part is I am guilt -free. 314 00:17:02,200 --> 00:17:03,740 You still don't get guilt. 315 00:17:08,500 --> 00:17:09,579 Feeling better, Ellen? 316 00:17:11,619 --> 00:17:12,619 Now I get it. 317 00:17:23,660 --> 00:17:25,980 So, Audrey, excited about heading up to the mountains this weekend? 318 00:17:26,599 --> 00:17:29,980 Yeah, me too. Another 48 hours for me to say I'm sorry. 319 00:17:31,220 --> 00:17:32,800 Have I told you I'm sorry? 320 00:17:33,380 --> 00:17:34,380 Because I am. 321 00:17:34,840 --> 00:17:35,840 Sorry. 322 00:17:36,440 --> 00:17:37,940 Sure, bring Scrabble along. 323 00:17:38,200 --> 00:17:39,540 I've already got my first word. 324 00:17:40,100 --> 00:17:41,100 Sorry. 325 00:17:42,200 --> 00:17:43,840 Okay, I'll pick you up in about ten minutes. 326 00:17:44,140 --> 00:17:45,520 Okay. Bye -bye. 327 00:17:46,580 --> 00:17:48,100 Join me in a cappuccino, boss? 328 00:17:48,300 --> 00:17:50,120 No, thanks. I thought you were off coffee. 329 00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:51,400 Hmm? Oh. 330 00:17:52,010 --> 00:17:54,570 They were wrong about the ulcer. Turns out I have a pancreatic cyst. 331 00:17:57,650 --> 00:17:59,210 My God, Joe, is it serious? 332 00:17:59,510 --> 00:18:00,510 Do I look like a doctor? 333 00:18:00,630 --> 00:18:03,810 All I know is it's completely unaffected by coffee consumption. 334 00:18:04,230 --> 00:18:05,230 Cheers. 335 00:18:06,310 --> 00:18:08,350 Well, I got the famed Lincoln Green letters. 336 00:18:09,230 --> 00:18:10,230 They're worthless. 337 00:18:10,530 --> 00:18:13,490 They're all letters from my great -great -great -uncle. There's not a single 338 00:18:13,490 --> 00:18:14,490 response from Lincoln. 339 00:18:19,400 --> 00:18:19,679 Dear Mr. 340 00:18:19,680 --> 00:18:21,620 President, dreadful news from Bull Run. 341 00:18:21,880 --> 00:18:25,360 Trust you found time to address the matter of my neighbor's wandering pig. 342 00:18:26,600 --> 00:18:28,960 263 letters about some feud with his neighbor. 343 00:18:29,580 --> 00:18:34,980 Dear Abe, four score and seven letters ago, I first alerted you to the problem 344 00:18:34,980 --> 00:18:38,100 of my neighbor's incontinent pig. It's going to get worse. 345 00:18:40,840 --> 00:18:45,700 Dear bearded freak, I know where you live. 346 00:18:48,490 --> 00:18:51,370 Adam, I'm really sorry to hear about that, but I've got to get going. I'm 347 00:18:51,370 --> 00:18:52,550 heading to the mountains for the weekend. 348 00:18:52,850 --> 00:18:54,410 I'll see you on Monday. Bye -bye. 349 00:18:55,690 --> 00:18:59,670 You know, I can't believe Kip, my own flesh and blood, conning me like this. 350 00:19:00,570 --> 00:19:01,670 I've got to unload these. 351 00:19:02,390 --> 00:19:04,230 I've got to find somebody stupider than me. 352 00:19:06,110 --> 00:19:07,110 Grandma. 353 00:19:09,690 --> 00:19:10,690 Hey, you guys. 354 00:19:11,010 --> 00:19:12,010 Where's Ellen? 355 00:19:12,210 --> 00:19:13,270 You just missed her. 356 00:19:13,980 --> 00:19:16,740 It's too bad. This great thing came up for the weekend and I wanted to bring 357 00:19:16,740 --> 00:19:17,439 Ellen along. 358 00:19:17,440 --> 00:19:18,800 I think she had plans anyway, yeah. 359 00:19:22,520 --> 00:19:26,420 I thought when you said we're going to the mountains that you would rent a 360 00:19:26,420 --> 00:19:27,420 cabin. 361 00:19:27,680 --> 00:19:29,000 Oh, I hate cabins. 362 00:19:29,760 --> 00:19:32,560 Fireplaces, that smell of burning wood. 363 00:19:33,100 --> 00:19:34,600 A tent is much cozier. 364 00:19:35,720 --> 00:19:36,720 True. 365 00:19:37,120 --> 00:19:38,340 It's a little bit cold. 366 00:19:39,060 --> 00:19:40,300 Would you rub my feet again? 367 00:19:41,680 --> 00:19:44,940 Oh, Audrey, I don't know. They've been hurting ever since I ran home crying 368 00:19:44,940 --> 00:19:45,940 Jessica's party. 369 00:19:51,580 --> 00:19:55,040 So what's Paige up to this weekend? How come she didn't come? 370 00:19:55,760 --> 00:19:57,220 I don't know. I guess she's busy. 371 00:20:01,740 --> 00:20:04,960 Thank you so much for inviting me at the last minute. Oh, my pleasure. 372 00:20:05,440 --> 00:20:06,820 How's the pate? Not too dry? 373 00:20:07,420 --> 00:20:08,420 Lovely. 374 00:20:08,780 --> 00:20:10,080 Oh, three o 'clock. 375 00:20:10,490 --> 00:20:13,450 A lioness stalking a herd of gazelles, see, by the wildebeest migration. 376 00:20:15,310 --> 00:20:17,170 Breathtaking. More champagne? 377 00:20:17,570 --> 00:20:18,570 Of course. 378 00:20:24,150 --> 00:20:30,370 So what's Paige up to this weekend? How come she didn't come? 379 00:20:31,630 --> 00:20:36,530 So what's Paige up to this weekend? How come she didn't come? 380 00:20:36,770 --> 00:20:37,770 I don't know. 381 00:20:42,220 --> 00:20:43,220 Can you see her? 382 00:20:43,380 --> 00:20:44,380 All right, all right, all right. 383 00:20:45,800 --> 00:20:46,160 So 384 00:20:46,160 --> 00:20:53,040 what's Paige 385 00:20:53,040 --> 00:20:54,560 up to this weekend? How come she didn't come? 386 00:20:54,860 --> 00:20:56,560 I don't know. I guess she's busy. 387 00:21:00,340 --> 00:21:01,340 Don't look at me. 388 00:21:02,320 --> 00:21:03,860 I'll look at her and she's just in there. 28898

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