Original subtitles

Now the world don't move to the beat of just one drum. What might be right for

you may not be right for some. A man is born. He's a man of means.

Then along come two.

They got nothing but the genes, but they got different strokes and things,

different strokes and things, different strokes to move the world.

It doesn't take different strokes to move the world.

You're supposed to be her boyfriend in this play. Where's your pipe?

Oh, right. Hold it, Kimberly.

Ew, smells like old gin sneakers.

What are you doing?

Do I look more like Rex Harrison or Sherlock Holmes?

You put the right stuff in that pipe, you can be anyone you want.

Answering the door. It's our counselor from the Y.

No, it's not. Get lost.

I'm rehearsing the school play with Kimberly.

Hello, Rodney.

Cynthia, my darling.

That's Kimberly under all that paint?

I created that makeup.

Right. I think I look mature and sophisticated.

Not to mention weird.

Look at that dress.

Arnold, I'll have you know my school spent a lot of money on this dress. Now,

you want to stay, sit down and be quiet.

Now, I've lost my concentration.

Well, take those phony eyelashes off so you can look for it.

I've given my all for this production.

Gotta go, Kimberly.

Thanks a lot for your help, Blair.

Yeah, she looks beautiful and so sophisticated.

Beauty is my middle name.

You're lucky. My middle name is Letitia.

See you later, guys. Bye, Blair. Bye -bye. Thanks again, Blair.

Willow, have I told you lately that you look beautiful?

Thank you, darling.

And would you believe I'm not wearing any makeup?

All I've got on is a little eye shadow.

I love if you've done with your hair.

Let's start again.

Kimberly, why are you wearing all that goop anyway?

It's not goop. I'm playing an older woman.

She got the part on account of the way she's built. You mean they felt sorry

you?

Arnold, how would you like a high heel up your nose? Just kidding.

I mean, I'm not a kid anymore.

You're only 15.

But guys, I'm growing up.

How old is that guy you're playing, Natalie?

I'm just playing Rodney for rehearsal.

Our teacher, Mr. Wilson, is doing the part in the play.

How come?

Because he wrote it, and it's an all -girls school, and we need a man for the

part. Let's start again, Natalie, okay? I'll go outside. Okay.

Oh, I'm sorry. I thought I had the drum in residence.

Oh, Daddy, it's me.

I thought you looked familiar.

Are you surprised at how old I look? We're rehearsing for the school play.

I'm more surprised at how old your look makes me.

Well, anyway, I don't want to interrupt your rehearsal.

Natalie, your pipe's out.

How about that, Natalie? My own father almost didn't

recognize me.

Dad must have lost his contact lenses.

Daddy doesn't wear contact lenses.

Then he better get some.

Don't listen to them, Kimberly.

You could easily pass for older.

Maybe 18.

Or 20. Or even 21.

Or two.

You better stop before she's on Medicare.

All right, I got it.

Hey, Mike. Hey, Mike. How you doing, man? Come on in. Hi, guys. How you

Pretty good.

Fine.

This is Mike Acosta from the Y.

That's Kimberly and Natalie.

Natalie. Hi. Kimberly.

Hi.

Kimberly's our older sister.

Oh, yeah, much older.

You never told me you had such an attractive sister.

Hey, Kimberly, if you're interested in a summer job, the Y is looking for women

20 to 25 to be camp counselors. I think you'd be perfect.

Really? How about that, Natalie?

Yeah, how about that?

This guy needs contact lenses more than Dad.

Definitely give that some thought, Mike. Oh, uh, you have to be single for the

job, are you?

At the moment.

Yeah, at the moment.

Oh, great.

I'll put in a word for you.

Thank you.

Well, it was very nice meeting you.

Oh, nice meeting you, too.

Bye. Bye -bye. See you later.

Okay, guys, let's go shoot some hoops. All right. See you guys later. Bye.

Hey, guys, please don't tell him the truth about my age.

Okay, we won't say anything to make you look dumb.

Yeah, unfortunately, you're doing a good job all by yourself.

Hey, how about that, Natalie? He actually thinks I'm in my 20s. I'm

Even with a pipe, I still look 14.

presents the evolution of Jay -Z, Saturday at 1.

The soothing scent of lavender, calming and relaxing.

Experience in your clothes.

Vanilla and lavender from Downey's Simple Pleasures.

The scent of gardenia, refreshing, enlivening, uplifting.

Now in your clothes.

Introducing Gardenia and pear blossom from Downey's Simple Pleasures.

That check you get every month from a structured settlement as a result of a

lawsuit or from an annuity may not be enough to pay for all the bills that are

piling up. You might think you're sunk, but now there's help. With Peachtree,

money does grow on trees.

Call Peachtree to get the cash you can use to pay off debt, avoid foreclosure,

pay bills, get a new house, or buy a new car.

The money from your structured settlement or annuity is yours.

Call Peachtree today at 1 -800 -581 -0733 or log on to SettleInFunding .com.

Life doesn't wait. Why should you? The phone company has an important message

for its customers.

Don't listen to Vonage. Well, over 2 million people have already switched to

Vonage. Oh, really?

With Vonage, you get unlimited local and long -distance calls for just $24 .99 a

month.

Unlimited for just $24 .99?

What are you charged?

Hey, for over 100 years, the only thing we've changed is... Your prices?

Sign up now with Vonage and get one month free using your high -speed

connection. Call 1 -800 -483 -0838 or go online today.

If anybody had told me that I would end up teaching in a high school diploma

program for ex -offenders, I would have laughed out loud. Judith DeVries co

-founded an adult high school for ex -offenders. She's earning her Ph .D.

from Walden University.

If somebody told me today I could never do this again, I would cry.

When you earn your master's or Ph .D. online at Walden University, you gain

knowledge and credentials you need to make a positive change in your career

in the lives of others. Visit our website or call this toll -free number

consult with a Walden advisor.

Walden faculty are practicing leaders in their fields. Our dynamic online

courses fit your life and offer a rich interactive learning experience.

We also offer financial aid options.

Call or go online now and we'll waive your application fee.

Walden University provides an opportunity for people to receive

educational credentials while living out your dream about changing the world.

Walden University, a higher degree, a higher purpose.

Express yourself.

His classic style.

Meet Chicago style.

The cleaning power of Tide now meets Dawn Stain Scrubbers, a powerful pre

-treating boost. Unlocks and removes tough stains even better than both the

leading regular detergent and leading pre -treater combined.

Because clean is never out of style. New Tide with Dawn Stain Scrubbers. Your

Tide is showing.

Cynthia, I'm so happy you decided to have me back.

Right. me, please.

One step at a time.

I'm just a simple country girl from Nebraska.

Why do you move away from me when my lips ache for you?

Oh, hi, Mr. Drummond.

Oh, sorry. Didn't mean to interrupt your aching lips.

Hello?

Yes, just a minute, please.

Cynthia, it's for you.

Thank you, Daddy. Who is it? He didn't say.

He?

Oh, oh, oh, oh, forgive me. I'm just a simple country boy from Nebraska.

Hello?

Who?

Oh, wow!

Who is it?

Well, uh, yes, of course I remember you. If you're the same Mike Tanna who

picked up my brothers half an hour ago.

Oh, wow!

Yeah, well, I'd have to think about that, Mike.

He wants to take me to the movies.

I could die.

I'd really like to, but I don't think I could tonight because, well, if my dad

thought I was... Well, no. No, what I mean is... Well, hold on, please.

Daddy?

Daddy! Yes!

Were you calling, or were you just emoting?

Oh, when's that charity dinner you're going to?

Tomorrow night. Why?

Oh, well, then I can rehearse here, then. Huh?

What time will you be leaving?

Uh, about 6 .30.

Oh, well, then you won't be having dinner here.

No, they usually serve dinner at those dinners.

Cold stuffed breast of rubber chicken.

But it's okay, all the waiters are paramedics.

Hello, Mike?

Yeah, I can make it tomorrow night.

How about 7 o 'clock?

Great, I'll see you. Bye -bye.

Oh, Natalie, can you believe it? I'm actually going out with an older man.

You'll be the envy of every girl in school, even Blair.

Yeah, I better pinch myself. Why don't you let your date do that for you?

Hey, guys.

Please don't tell Daddy about this. It's really important to me.

Okay, if it means that much to you, he won't say anything.

Right, Arnold?

Our lips are sealed.

Thanks.

Well, hi, Mike. Come on in. Hello.

Oh, hi, guys.

Hey, Mike.

You all set?

All set for what?

I told you I'm going to a movie.

I'm her date.

What are you talking about, Mike?

What do you mean?

Well, you see, Mike, about Kimberly.

Oh, what about Kimberly?

It's just that she's been going to the movies an awful lot. Right, Arnold?

Right. Every night.

Oh, good.

Well, we won't be late. We're just going down to Cinema 7 to see Lover's Lagoon.

Is that the one where everyone swims naked?

Yeah, everybody but the old pirate.

Kimberly, you saw that picture.

No, I didn't.

Mike, why don't you go get the elevator?

Oh, okay.

Check you guys later.

Yeah, I'll be right with you.

Thanks a lot, guys.

Kimberly, are you out of your tree?

You're 15 and he's 25.

But he thinks I'm 20. Oh, you guys just don't know what it's like to be a real

woman. No, and I hope I never find out.

What could happen with her going out with a 25 -year -old man?

No. What could happen?

Oh, never mind.

But what she's doing is a crazy thing.

Oh.

I get it.

Yeah. That is a crazy thing.

She's going to see that dumb movie twice.

Milk's favorite cookie.

These are our neighbors, and they deserve a great lunch at a great price.

Like Applebee's pick -and -pair lunch combos starting at $5 .99.

Choose from over 60 combinations of soups, salads, sandwiches, and pastas.

at Applebee's. Get the whole new neighborhood.

So yeah, I'm not just about saving people money on car insurance. I also

supporting wildlife conservation.

I'm teaming up with the Association of Zoos and Aquarians. That's why I'm here.

I'm going to be making the rounds at a whole bunch of these.

You have no idea I'm down here.

You can't even hear me, can you?

Oh, I think I pulled a muscle.

Oh, it's probably in my neck.

Geico. 15 minutes could save you 15 % or more on car insurance.

Netflix interviews, take one.

Oh, Netflix is the best. With Netflix, you can never be without a movie. Just

online and choose from over 90 ,000 DVD titles.

They've got it all. With Netflix, there's no late fees.

No due date. You can keep the movie as long as you want. And now, as an added

bonus to your DVDs, watch some movies and TV shows instantly on your PC for no

additional fee. I'm definitely a Netflix fan. Netflix, get DVDs in the mail

fast, plus some instantly on your PC. Go to Netflix .com slash TV to start your

free trial.

Kids always take too much, especially when it comes to bath tissue. But with

Charmin Ultra Soft, our softest ever, you can use less because it's more

absorbent than the leading value brand, so you don't have to keep pulling.

Here's the scoop.

Less is more. Our softest for sure.

Charmin Ultra Soft. Look for it in the blue package.

On the next Iron Ring.

Team Nelly trains in St. Louis. You got to want it that much more than a

competitor. He's going to know that he's got the best.

While Team Dipset checks out a few fighters of their own.

And we will meet the bullet.

in all new Iron Ring. See who goes hard and see who goes home. Tuesday at 1030.

Jay -Z, Don of the Rock Dynasty.

Jay really was that dude before he was a rapper.

Most of these guys who knew rappers, they're lying.

He wasn't lying.

That was the team and that was our goal. We were trying to capture the moment

and take over the game. In the studio and in the boardroom, this man is the

truth. The ultimate businessman.

Witness the evolution of Jay -Z.

Saturday at 1.

Now on DVD.

The BET Hip Hop Award 2007.

Starring Kanye West, Lil Weed, and many more. Plus the exclusive T .I.

performance that never made air. On DVD now.

Get ready for Spring Bling 08.

50 years after Tenzing Norgay and Ed Hillary climbed Everest, children still

don't have schools, young girls are sold into bondage, and Tibetans flee their

homeland in despair.

The American Himalayan Foundation built schools, hospitals, and bridges.

In a direct, effective way, we make life better for people in the Himalaya.

Join us, the American Himalayan Foundation.

60 -inch screen, high definition.

Football season is coming up. You can watch it right here.

What do you think?

I'll take it. Huh? Huh?

Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.

You're right.

I don't need it.

I don't think we should have gone along with this, Arnold.

A 15 -year -old girl shooting me going out with a 25 -year -old man who thinks

she's 20 and shaves?

I don't know Kimberly shaved.

I mean Mike.

You know what guys do when they go to the movies?

They take a girl up to the balcony and... You know what happens next.

Yeah, a slobber job.

And it's not worth it. You gotta walk all the way back downstairs to get

Listen, Arnold, man, I think we should do some... Hey, I got an idea. We're

going to Cinema 7.

Would you happen to know if they're at least showing a cartoon?

I don't care what they're showing.

We're going there to save our sister.

Come on, let's go.

Remember, Arnold, we're not here to enjoy the movie.

Who can enjoy it?

Look at all that kissing.

No car chasers, no monsters, no spaceships. Just lips.

We're here to save our sister.

I don't care what's up there. And I don't care...

There they are.

Who?

Kimberly.

You know,

you are really great looking.

Thank you.

I'm surprised someone your age still lives at home.

Ever think about getting your own place?

Oh, yeah.

All the time.

I just don't think I like being alone.

You wouldn't be alone.

Uh -oh. He's making his move.

Watch it with the popcorn, will you?

Hey, you.

You talking to me?

Yeah, you. We're getting a lot of fallout here.

Okay.

The last time I'm telling you, stop dumping popcorn on us.

Will you sit down?

Hey, knock it off. We'd like to see the movie. Who's dumping popcorn on you?

You are.

And you better cut it out, or else... Or

else what?

I'd like to think about that.

You do that.

Mike, really, it's okay. Just sit down and forget it.

Well, if you insist.

I mean, I wouldn't want you getting in a fight just because of little old me.

Oh, what better reason?

There he goes again.

Come on.

Come on, you two.

Hey, what did I tell you about that popcorn?

Will you just sit down and be quiet?

It wasn't me.

And you're starting to really bug me.

That's okay. Come on, let's just leave and forget it.

It's a very good idea. Let's go have a drink.

A drink?

You know, it's a good thing you stopped me. There's no telling what I would have

done to that guy.

The movie was over an hour ago.

I wonder what they could be doing.

I hate to think.

I know you hate to think, Willis, but this is for Kimberly, so take a stab at

it.

Well, hi, guys.

Dad.

Why aren't you two in bed? It's 10 o 'clock.

Oh, well, um, we're studying real hard and time really flies when you're having

fun.

That sounds reasonable, I think.

Dad, what are you doing home so early? You said around 12.

Well, this was an interesting change for a charity dinner.

This time, the food was boring and the speeches gave me indigestion.

Where's Kimberly?

She shouldn't be rehearsing.

Wasn't she rehearsing here?

Well, no, she's rehearsing somewhere else.

Yeah, with a teacher.

Yeah, teacher.

Oh. Well, I better get myself a bicarbonate.

Let me give you guys a bit of advice that could save your life.

Never contribute to any organization that serves cream chicken on toast.

That was good covering up, Woods. Maybe we saved Kimberly's neck.

Yeah. Now all we gotta do is worry about the rest of her.

Um,

we can sit right over here on the counter.

So, where are Willis and Arnold?

Oh, they're probably asleep.

Good. On the other hand, they could be awake.

You seem to be a little nervous there.

Nervous? Who?

All I want is Y -O -U.

Come here, you.

Why are you pulling away?

Well, I, um, I don't believe in rushing things.

It's only a kiss.

Oh, Daddy!

Oh, I'm sorry. The boys told me you were out. I guess you decided to do it here.

Oh,

Mike, Dad, this is Mike Tanner.

She's pretty good, isn't she?

I beg your pardon?

Well, Mike and I were just... I know, I know, I know. Don't let me interrupt.

But look, you two have been at this all evening. You ought to think I ought to

get into bed.

You know,

your father has really got it all together.

They're back and they're out of the game.

And here I am with no popcorn.

We've got to bust this up before Dad busts him up.

Hey, what's happening?

How's it going, Mike?

Oh, hi, guys.

Hi, guys. Nice to see you.

Hey, how do you feel about Ray's new cabinet, Mike?

Do you think you should put it in his kitchen or his bathroom?

Shouldn't you guys be asleep?

They certainly should.

Upstairs, you two, leave your sister and Mr. Tanner alone so they can finish.

Say what?

Upstairs, both of you. But, Dad! No buts.

Good night.

All right.

Good night.

Good night.

Listen, you two, when you get this thing right, call me. I'd like to watch.

What?

That is, if you have no objection.

Daddy! What are you saying?

Well, you and Mr. Tanner have been rehearsing this play that he wrote for a

time now.

Play? Daddy?

Mike isn't my teacher.

He's sort of my date.

Date?

Uh -oh, here's where the veins pop out on Dad's forehead.

How old are you?

Who, me?

25. 25?

You are 25?

Poor Mike's never gonna make 26.

What are you doing with a 15 -year -old girl?

Fifteen? Whose?

She's?

You told me you were 20.

No, not exactly. I just didn't tell you I wasn't.

What do you mean by pretending to be a 20 -year -old?

Well, Daddy, you told me I looked 20.

Well, that was for your school play, not for playing around.

Fifteen. Oh, boy.

This wasn't fair to you.

Oh, no, no. I was having a great time.

I mean, well, not great.

Good?

No, no, not good.

Harmless.

Well, I really should be getting out of town.

Home.

Good night, sir.

Good night, Kimberly.

Good night. I'm sorry about this misunderstanding.

Yeah, me too.

Fifteen?

I'm so embarrassed.

Well, you should be.

I'm sorry, Daddy.

It wasn't all her fault, Dad.

Only me told Mike that she was 20. We didn't think he was dumb enough to

it. Yeah, I guess when you start getting into your 20s, your mind starts to go.

Listen, sweetheart, don't rush getting older.

It'll happen all too soon.

But what's wrong with running to meet life?

Well, you could get tripped.

Look, if we're going to philosophize, let's sit down and do it properly.

Yeah, with popcorn. I can philophilize better with popcorn.

That's a good idea.

Speaking of popcorn, some nut in the theater was tossing popcorn all over the

place.

Well, you never know who you'll meet in a theater balcony these days.

Yeah.

Arnold, how did you know it was in the balcony?

yes how did you know that Arnold I'll make the popcorn and Willis will explain

They're just wondering what might be right for you.

They might be right for some. But many boys, he's a man of his.

Then along come two.

They have nothing but the genes. But they got different strokes of dick.

Different strokes of dick.

Would that be a cancer charge?

Uh, neither.

Your sign says 30 minutes or free.

Oh, man, I only missed it by a minute.

Hey, that dent on your front fender's on the house.

Ah, Pete.

I'll have to change this right here.

Yo, Eddie, I need help next door.

Oh, I can't right now, man. I just hired more. I can't leave him here by

himself. Oh, man, okay.

I guess I'll have to find somebody else to help me pick out the new waitress

uniforms.

Come on. You in charge.

All right, Bones.

Isn't it quite funny, Bones?

They're just going to leave you alone while you're sitting inside your home.

And those go behind the bar. It's hard to believe I've only been in business

a day.

You know what I'm saying? Now, get ready for this. Ladies, the uniforms, please.

Now, this says sports bar to me. I call it this boom bar.

With the emphasis on the boom.

Now, this look is your basic tour de France.

Oh, la, la.

Now, here's my favorite.

Next.

I am not putting this on.

Now, I thought this was supposed to be a sports bar.

Swimming's a sport.

Okay, well, then you guys put it on.

I got the bottle.

Hey, Malcolm, let me get the cheerleader's phone number. Hey, Eddie,

minute. This is a business meeting. This is not a dating service.

Does that mean that Saturday's off?

This is business. This is a business thing.

business, the garage could use a loan from the profits from the bar to get an

air compressor.

Eddie, Eddie, Eddie.

Does that mean no, no, no?

We agree each business operates out of its own profit. Sorry, baby, no loan.

You're as broke as I am, aren't you? Clean to the bone.

Malcolm, Malcolm, Malcolm.

What? Nothing.

I just want you to know what it feels like.

Oh, hey, it's time.

All right, people.

your stations.

Get ready for the stampede.

We cut this ribbon and open the doors for the very first time.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Here, here, here, here.

What up, people?

What's going on, bro?

Hey,

come on in. Ooh, la, la.

Now, that's so soon.

All right, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, knock it off. This is serious, man.

Man, it's only 11 .30.

You see, it's alcoholics don't get kicked until noon.

You know what we need? Some kind of serious promotion.

Yeah, a big blowout grand reopening party.

Football on TV, specials on drinks, all -you -can -eat buffet.

Hey, why stop there? At night, we can turn it into a club.

All that energy they build up watching football, they can get it out of their

system on the dance floor.

Very close to a good idea.

And I can get you a prince.

Prince?

What prince? Not the artist formerly known as.