Original subtitles

Now the world don't move to the beat of just one drum. What might be right for

you may not be right for some.

A man is born, he's a man of means.

Then along come two, they got nothing but the genes. But they got different

strokes to take, different strokes to take, different strokes to move the

Everybody's got a special kind of story.

Everybody finds a way to shine.

It don't matter that you got not a lot.

So what? I'll have theirs, you'll have yours, and I'll have mine.

And together we'll be fine.

Different strokes to move the world.

Different strokes to move the world.

Well, did I cook your eggs okay?

Well, I wanted them scrambled.

Not strangled.

I'll cook breakfast tomorrow.

What do you want, Arnold?

I want pancakes and a doctor standing by.

I've got to get down to the office.

Look, has anybody seen the papers that I left on top of my briefcase? No, I

haven't seen them.

The housekeeper's out for one day, and this whole place is upside down.

Boy, that sure is ticked off.

You think so?

Just because he had steam coming out of his ears?

He certainly has been grumpy lately.

Yeah, yesterday he yelled at my goldfishers swimming too loud.

Hey, gang.

I found him. Right where I left him.

I'm sorry, kids. I don't mean to take it out on you.

Take what out on us?

I wish I knew. I've been turning into a grouch lately.

I'm short with everybody.

I've got the same problem.

Well, I've got to get down to the office.

But it's Saturday.

I know. I didn't have anything else planned.

You know, Daddy's been working too hard lately. He needs to get out and have a

little fun. Yeah.

Why doesn't he? He's in a rut.

Maybe we can un -rut him.

I got an idea.

Maybe we can get Dad a new hobby, like fishing.

Fishing? You have to use bait.

So? Well, Daddy would never murder an innocent worm.

and switches and everything.

Arnold, that's good for you, but how would it help Dad?

Well, it might cheer him up to see me so happy.

Hey, why don't we invite Dad to go see a movie with us tonight?

Good idea. What movie should we see? A horror movie that's rated SP.

What's SP?

Scare Your Pants Off.

Come on, let's go ask him. Okay.

Hey,

Dad, can we talk to you for a minute?

Yeah.

couch and take a load off your grouch.

What's up, gang?

Well, Dad, we'd like to invite you to go see a movie with us tonight.

Hey, that's a nice invitation.

What movie do you have in mind?

Well, Arnold wants to see a horror film. How about that new one that's out,

Death Takes a Shower?

Dracula and Frankenstein Shampoo a Werewolf.

That sounds like a lot of good, clean terror.

Count me in, gang.

All right.

You feel better now, Dad?

I'll tell you something. I got an idea what's been bothering me.

I think maybe I'm just a little bit lonely.

Now, how could you be lonely with us around?

Yeah. We're always with you except when you go in the bathroom.

If you want, we'll come in there, too.

No, I don't think that's necessary, Arnold. No, that isn't the kind of

loneliness I'm talking about.

You see, I haven't been married for a long time, and I guess I miss that close

relationship, that special something that a man and a woman can share.

You know what I mean?

Yeah. You need a little action.

Something like that. I'll see you at six, kids. Okay.

Okay, bye -bye. Bye.

Oh, yeah, Daddy, will you drop me off at the library? I'm going to meet my

friend there.

Sure, honey. Okay, I'll be right down.

You know, guys, I bet Daddy could get over his blues if he found himself a

girlfriend. Yeah, but where are we going to find a lady who's available?

I've seen some ladies hanging around doorways that look pretty available.

No, Arnold.

Daddy needs a more refined type of lady.

Oh, you mean someone in a long evening gown with a cigarette holder and a fancy

hairdo? That's right.

Well, that's what these ladies in the doorway...

Must be someplace we can find a date for Dad.

I know. We could ring all the doorbells in the building until a foxy lady comes

out.

And then what?

Say hi?

Our dad is lonely. Can you come up to the penthouse and play?

No, we need to do something romantic.

Like once I saw in the movie where Charles Boyer was hiding from the police

the sewer of the France.

And he fell in love with this beautiful girl and he left his hiding place to me

and the police shot him dead.

Kimberly.

We're trying to get Dad a date, not rubbed out.

I'll see you later.

Arnold, there must be a place we can find a lady friend for Dad.

Now, how are we going to do that?

If I walked up to a lady and said, do you want a date, she'd think I was

to make out.

I got an idea.

You know, there's ads in the papers for people who are lonely.

You know, you can order a date, kind of like ordering a pizza.

What do you think?

lady to go and hold the anchovies?

Hey, listen to this one. Not scoring well?

Call Candy and improve her swing.

Too bad Dad's not into golf.

Ah, here's one that sounds good.

Lonely? Call Friendly Me.

Manhattan's most refined computer dating service.

Hey, refined.

That's what Kimberly said.

And there's a phone number.

Hey, let's show it to Dad.

Are you kidding?

He'd be too embarrassed to get fixed up with a date from a newspaper.

You're right.

Let's tell him we found the number written on the wall in the subway.

We're going to call Friendly Mate for Dad.

Must have been crazy when we opened this business.

If things don't pick up pretty soon, we're going to be dating each other.

I'd like to put out a contract on the guy that invented singles bars.

That's your mother again.

I'm going to sell her a date. Do it.

Friendly mate, computer dating, Lucille speaking.

Hello, my name is Willis, and I'd like to order a very special friendly mate,

please. Oh, you would, huh?

You sound kind of young, honey.

We only do business with adults.

By the way, how old are you?

Tell her you're 45 and your voice never changed.

Arnold, I'll handle it.

I'm 14, ma 'am, but this isn't for me. It's for my father.

Oh, and how does your father feel about that?

Oh, he still don't care about it. You see, he hasn't been married for a long

time, so he's kind of lonely right now.

Tell her he's so lonely he's starting to kiss his briefcase.

I tell you, Willis, we don't do business over the phone.

Why don't you send your daddy down here and we'll have a nice chat?

Oh, he wouldn't do that.

He's too proud.

See, we want it to be like a big surprise.

Kind of like a lady jumping out of a birthday cake.

Only we don't want the cake.

I don't know about that, young man.

Look, me and my brother will come down here, okay?

We'll have our chauffeur bring us. Bye.

Chauffeur?

Chauffeur?

This is no joke, ma 'am. Our chauffeur brought us down here.

And you live in a penthouse on Park Avenue?

Right. Our dad's rich and handsome, and he always brushes his teeth.

What is your daddy's name?

Philip Drummond.

Mm -hmm.

What kind of work does your daddy do?

All kinds of businesses.

He's a conglomeration.

Drumming with two M's?

Two M's, like in multi -millionaire.

Here it is, right here at Phillip Drummond Park Avenue.

Please, ma 'am, this is an emergency.

Our dad is really lonely.

He's a terrific guy, and he'd like to meet a nice, refined woman.

But not so refined that she won't get down in boogie.

That's right.

Dad's 50, but he's still got a lot of life left in him.

Well, this is pretty unusual, you know.

But you leave it to me.

Our computer will find a lovely lady for your daddy. Oh, that's terrific.

Off then, Arnold. Hold it, Willis. Hold it.

What is the going price for a date these days?

If you charge about a pound, we want one that's skinny.

Don't you worry about it. We're going to give your daddy our special

introductory offer.

Now, when would you like to surprise him? How about tonight?

He'll be home about six.

Yeah, but he needs some time to grease his hair and put on some smelly stuff.

Well, that's a little short notice.

But I think it'll be okay.

We'll have your dad's date there at seven o 'clock.

All right.

But please, ma 'am, don't make a mistake with your computer.

We don't want our daddy to be fixed up with a hockey player.

I'll be careful.

All right. Thank you very much. Very nice to meet you. Nice meeting you, too.

Goodbye.

Well, Arnold.

This is the best present we can give, Dad.

Sure beats what we gave him for his birthday.

That tie?

No, the flu.

Who was that?

The boys they called earlier.

Would you believe their dad lives on Park Avenue and has a chauffeur? You're

kidding. Hey, that's the kind of date I'd like to have. A rich, black

who lives on Park Avenue?

That is a great idea.

Why don't we give the computer the day off and you date him?

I just might do that.

And if the father's as cute as the two kids, I may pay the fee myself.

Lucille, their daddy doesn't know how lucky he is.

When he sees Gorgeous, you walk in, his mouth is gonna drop open.

You better not tell Kimberly.

Because if she doesn't do the computer dating, she might blow the whistle on

Why wouldn't she, Diggy?

Well, you know how romantic she is.

She thinks the only way in a man and woman she'd meet is over candlelight and

Cupid shooting an arrow in their butts.

Well, she'll just have to learn that if it's a lady you desire, a computer can

light you a fire.

Hey, where's Dad?

He's supposed to be home at six and it's almost seven.

Yeah. He thinks he's gonna be here.

Well, he better get here before she does so we can tell him we fixed him up.

Well, I thought we were going to surprise him.

You better not do that.

How would you like it if a strange lady showed up at your door and said I'm your

date for the evening?

If I was old as dead, I'd be real grateful.

Hey, guys, my girlfriend's going to the movies with us tonight.

Okay. Yeah.

That's one more box of popcorn I can mooch from.

Hi, gang.

Hi, Daddy.

I hope all... of you had as good a day as I did.

Oh, it's good to see you in such a happy mood, Dad.

Come on, you've got to get changed for the movie, Daddy.

He can't go.

Why can't he go?

Uh, well, what I want to mean is that maybe the movie's too scary for Dad.

that's it.

It might make his hair fall out and make his bald spot bigger.

Well, I appreciate your concern, fellas.

I can't go anyway.

A guy down at the office fixed me up with a date tonight.

What are you talking about, Dad?

You know my associate, Roger?

Well, he saw me moping around just as you did, and so he fixed me up.

He fixed us up, too.

Daddy, I think it's a terrific night of day tonight. Who's the lucky lady?

You know, I don't even know her name.

She's a friend of Roger's girlfriend.

I've never even met her.

Well, why don't you keep her that way?

What are you talking about?

Oh, well, you know blind dates.

She could show you good time, get you drunk, roll you for all you're doing.

end up lying in the gutter.

A wino with a broken heart.

I'll be very careful, Arnold.

I'll pin my wallet to my shorts.

Hey, look what time it is. I gotta grab a shower.

She's gonna be here at 7 .30.

Dad? Yeah? Oh, wait a minute.

Is she the kind of lady that might get lost and miss the building and never

up?

What kind of a question is that, Arnold?

I don't know. Just trying to keep up my end of the conversation.

Sorry about the movie, kids. We'll have our fear festival some other night.

Okay. Bye.

You know, I knew a girlfriend was the answer for Daddy.

Well, let's get going, guys. My girlfriend's meeting us downstairs.

Kimberly, me and Arnold decided that we didn't want to go to the movies after

all. Why not? You suggested it.

Well, we're tired of movies.

What? You mean you're tired of horror movies and the hot -footed popcorn and

soda pop and the candy and the pizza afterwards?

Willis, maybe we ought to reconsider how tired we are.

Arnold, we are too tired to go.

Dig?

Dig. Like the man said, we are pooped.

You know, you two are really very strange.

Catch you later.

Bye -bye.

in a few minutes. No sweat, little brother.

Well, then why am I sweating?

Look, Arnold, I got it all figured out.

The lady from Friendly Maid is due here first, right?

Uh, right.

So we'll just send her home.

Well, what do we say to her? Hi, but you better go away because we all got

athlete's foot.

Don't worry, Arnold.

Hey, I got an idea.

I'll head her off into the elevator.

Oh. Well,

But you better go away because we all got... I mean... You all got what?

Oh, nothing.

Are you Mr. Drummond's friendly mate?

Well, that's a nice way to put it.

But why do I have to go away?

Is it because I'm a little early?

Uh, no, because Mr. Drummond's gonna be a little late.

Oh, really?

Well, when do you expect him?

Next Easter.

Easter? What are you talking about?

Well, you see, uh...

An unexpected thing has happened. Mr.

Drummond suddenly had to go to Chicago.

Chicago?

But I've got a day with him tonight.

Well, what's he doing in Chicago?

Checking out the White Sox.

Well, we're pretty strange guys.

It was nice of you to stop by, and it was very nice to meet you, and when Dad

gets back, I'll make sure he calls you. Oh, you do that, because there's a

couple of things that I'd like to call him, too.

Well, I thought we handled that pretty cool, Willis.

And thinking of money, Dad won't have to pay Friendly Me.

Yeah. Instead, he could donate to the Willis and I Foundation for Get Down

Records.

You want to catch up with Kim and him at the movies? Okay, but let's hurry.

I don't mind missing part of the movie, but I want to get there before the

refreshments stand closing.

Must be Dad's day.

Hi there.

Hi.

I'm your daddy's date.

You are?

Yes.

Something wrong?

No, well, I'll...

Dad's friend Roger must be one cool dude.

Which one of you is Willis?

I am.

And I'm Arnold.

Hey, hey, hey.

You know, Willis, you're much taller than your voice.

Thank you.

How did you know my name?

You forget, I spoke to you on the phone.

Say what?

And I saw you this afternoon at the office.

I'm Lucille.

From friendly mate, computer date?

Uh -oh.

Is something wrong?

No, not a thing.

Just a nervous twitch he has. He uh -ohs whenever he gets near a woman over ten.

Don't be nervous, honey. I won't bite.

My, this is a gorgeous penthouse.

And I love the way it's furnished.

Thoroughly rich.

Would you excuse us a minute, please?

Yeah, why don't you have a seat on this very expensive sofa?

Willis, Willis, we've got trouble.

We sent away the wrong lady.

Yeah, I know.

What are we going to do?

Let's blow it on camera and move to a hotel.

Hey, maybe we can get the other lady back before Dad is ready.

Listen. I'll try to catch her when you give her a loose seal before Dad sees

her. Wait, hold it, Willis. Wait a minute.

Get rid of her.

What am I supposed to do? Give her a drink and toss her off the terrace?

I don't know.

Get her in the kitchen and out the back door. Bye.

Bye.

He sure was in a hurry. He was burning rubber.

Well, he was born a month late and he's trying to catch up.

The last room in the house I want to see is the kitchen. The kitchen is the last

room you're going to see.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Shouldn't you tell your daddy I'm here? Oh, don't worry.

be right down.

Okay, take me to your kitchen.

Nani, it's a sink, refrigerator, stove, and a table.

Yep, this is the kitchen, all right.

See, what's out there?

What's out there?

Knocking on the door?

Maybe it's a dumb button?

Hello. Can I help you?

Now that's a switch.

A white button.

I beg your pardon?

Arnold, why did you lock me out?

Lock you out?

Hey, what's going on here?

There was an accident.

The door slipped.

Would you please go tell Mr. Drummond that Lucille, his date, is here?

You're my date?

You're Philip Drummond?

I didn't know you were white.

I didn't know you were black.

Well, now that we know what everybody's color is, I would have wanted to play it

in the elevator.

Oh, not so fast.

I broke my heel. I'm sorry.

And I'm real sorry about the mistake.

Boy, is our dad going to be glad.

No, he won't.

Arnold, are you crazy? What'd you do that for?

I couldn't get rid of the other lady, Willis.

Dad's with her now.

Oh, no.

Arnold, I want to talk to you.

Willis, get the door.

Excuse me.

Hello? Yes, Roger.

What are you talking about?

My date's right here.

Willis, I told you to get the door.

Roger, I told you she's right here.

Would you mind telling Roger that I'm not in Chicago and you're right here?

Hello, Roger?

He's not in Chicago and I'm right here.

Roger, whatever you're drinking, you've had enough.

Right.

Willis, what have you got against opening doors?

We three are going to have a very big talk right away.

Are you Philip Drummond? Not if you're going to hit me.

You certainly got back from Chicago in a hurry.

Why did everybody think I went to Chicago?

To check out the White Sox.

Maybe it was the Cubs.

I got it. She probably knows Roger. Oh, I sure do.

Hey, listen.

I am tired of these games.

I mean, I don't need this. I've had a hard day, and on top of it, I break my

shoe. Oh, that is the last time that I let Roger fix me up with a date.

Roger? Are you my date for tonight?

We got a horror show right here.

Now, listen, boys. I want to know what is going on here.

Mr. Drummond, I think I know what happened.

Your boys phoned me today to see if I could find you a companion for this

evening. I'm from Friendly Mate, a dating service.

Dating service?

Dad, we thought that you were lonely.

We wanted to find you a date.

And then your friend Roger got you a date.

So we had to get rid of one of them because at your age, you can't handle

women.

That's very considerate of you, Arnold.

I'm sorry I locked you out back.

And I'm sorry I slammed the door on your front.

And I apologize to both of you two.

Well, I'm just trying to be nice to your father.

I forgive you.

So do I.

Well, you're both very kind.

Now, boys, I know that you did what you did out of love for me.

But from now on, I'll find my own dates.

Okay? And speaking of dates, I'd like to apologize to both of you.

Would you two lovely ladies please have dinner with me tonight?

I'd love to, if I could just find a restaurant that serves heels.

We'll find it.

Lucille? Count me in. Two's company, but with three, you get egg rolls.

Let's go, ladies.

Good night, boys.

Good night.

Well,

Arnold, we lucked out.

Dad's got two dates.

One's black and one's white. Now that's what I call integration.

I wonder if Dad's going to bust them to dinner.

Now the world don't move to the beat of just one drum. What might be right for

you may not be right for some. For many, for these are better beats than

a long come to.

They got nothing but the genes, but they got different strokes to take.

Different strokes to take. Different strokes to move the world. Different

strokes to move the world.