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Nudge it.
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Nudge it, nudge it, nudge it.
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Nudge it!
4
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Hey, Mike, did you see the newspaper
today?
5
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Terrible, terrible news.
6
00:00:18,690 --> 00:00:19,690
What's that?
7
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You know that old bowling alley over in
Jasper Town?
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Yeah, Jasper Bowl.
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Well, they're turning it into a mini
storage facility.
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Terrible news, that's great news. I
simply adore mini storage.
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Jasper Bowl, that was a great old alley.
Now Stucky Bowl will be the only one
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left around here.
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That'll be good for business.
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Yeah, probably, but, you know, there's
something sad about them knocking down
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old building like that.
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That'll never happen here, my friend. I
am never selling this place.
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What about when you kick the bucket?
What about when you're gone?
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Yeah.
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00:00:43,860 --> 00:00:45,400
You're right. After I'm gone, anything
could happen.
20
00:00:46,280 --> 00:00:50,700
I hate to think they might knock down
this place and turn it into... Ten bucks
21
00:00:50,700 --> 00:00:52,780
if you yell, I love kitties at the top
of your lungs.
22
00:01:21,390 --> 00:01:25,170
There I can keep by
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But do you think you could make more
money off of a talking dog or a flying
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A talking dog.
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I think you could make more off a flying
dog. A flying dog could really put on a
26
00:02:03,670 --> 00:02:04,669
show.
27
00:02:04,670 --> 00:02:06,430
But a talking dog could actually ask for
the money.
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00:02:15,390 --> 00:02:16,750
Seven and a half, my good man.
29
00:02:18,170 --> 00:02:19,310
Hey, hey, hey.
30
00:02:19,730 --> 00:02:21,850
Harry Lockman out there. You're back.
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How you doing, bitch?
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00:02:24,030 --> 00:02:26,510
Good, Doug. You can ball again? Check
this out.
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I'm Jacqueline Lane, baby.
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00:02:30,050 --> 00:02:31,050
Where'd the arthritis go?
35
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Gone where the goblins go.
36
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My doctor gave me these.
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Hexamycin or whatever.
38
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Miracle pills.
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00:02:38,390 --> 00:02:41,950
My knees are bending like first -year
Tupperware. That is great.
40
00:02:42,890 --> 00:02:45,770
Congratulations. On the house. Oh, I
need that.
41
00:02:46,190 --> 00:02:48,870
These little darlings here cost me $85 a
week.
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00:02:50,520 --> 00:02:51,940
Come here, you old bag of gas!
43
00:02:54,960 --> 00:02:58,280
Harry, have you thought about getting
the generic pills instead of the brand
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name? It'd be a lot cheaper.
45
00:02:59,660 --> 00:03:00,660
Oh, looks like everywhere.
46
00:03:01,340 --> 00:03:04,080
This came from a doctor. He said they
don't come in generic. Give me.
47
00:03:06,340 --> 00:03:07,540
Oh, yeah, I can take care of this.
48
00:03:08,700 --> 00:03:09,700
I know a guy.
49
00:03:10,520 --> 00:03:13,140
See, why do you have to say I know a
guy? Why can't you just say I have a
50
00:03:13,140 --> 00:03:15,560
who's a pharmacist, or I made the
acquaintance of a man who happens to
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a drug company? Why has it got to be, I
know a guy? Ooh, I know a guy.
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00:03:19,220 --> 00:03:22,660
Don't even talk to this one in the
morning until he's had his second cup of
53
00:03:28,120 --> 00:03:30,420
So, uh, guess who called me last night?
Who?
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00:03:30,720 --> 00:03:31,720
Jeff Alexander.
55
00:03:31,760 --> 00:03:32,760
Oh, right.
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00:03:32,840 --> 00:03:33,840
Yeah,
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he didn't stand a chance once I turned
that Molly Hudson magic on him. No, he
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didn't. Although he did give him my
number a month ago, so I guess it's that
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00:03:42,040 --> 00:03:43,800
slow acting kind of magic.
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00:03:44,160 --> 00:03:46,640
What are you guys going to do? I don't
know. He said he's going to call me
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00:03:46,640 --> 00:03:48,850
tonight. He's a cutie. Yes, he is.
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I can't stop thinking about the demise
of Jasper Bowl.
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00:03:52,130 --> 00:03:53,170
It's really been bugging me.
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00:03:53,710 --> 00:03:54,710
How come?
65
00:03:55,550 --> 00:03:57,830
Well, if Mike was right, what if they
did the same thing to Stucky Bowl?
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00:03:58,870 --> 00:04:00,850
Tell me, do you think that place is not
going to be there forever?
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00:04:01,350 --> 00:04:03,730
So much fun to wind them up and watch
them go.
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00:04:04,570 --> 00:04:05,650
Hey, guys. Hi.
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00:04:05,890 --> 00:04:06,890
Hey.
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00:04:07,130 --> 00:04:08,410
So, what's the topic?
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00:04:09,810 --> 00:04:11,950
Eddie's concerned that Stucky Bowl might
not last forever.
72
00:04:12,330 --> 00:04:13,610
And nothing lasts forever.
73
00:04:14,050 --> 00:04:15,050
Nothing except...
74
00:04:18,720 --> 00:04:19,720
Except what?
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00:04:20,860 --> 00:04:21,759
I don't know.
76
00:04:21,760 --> 00:04:23,800
I could make an easy joke there, but
nothing came.
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00:04:24,200 --> 00:04:26,480
And you should try to just, like, not
speak.
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00:04:27,220 --> 00:04:28,220
I got it.
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00:04:29,220 --> 00:04:30,079
I got it.
80
00:04:30,080 --> 00:04:31,080
I got an idea.
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00:04:31,440 --> 00:04:32,440
I got a great idea.
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00:04:32,680 --> 00:04:33,639
What is it?
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I'm going to apply for landmark status.
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00:04:35,000 --> 00:04:36,880
When you have landmark status, they
can't take it down. Stucky Bowl will be
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00:04:36,880 --> 00:04:37,619
there forever.
86
00:04:37,620 --> 00:04:39,520
Why would you want a bowling alley to be
there forever?
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00:04:40,100 --> 00:04:43,020
It's not just a bowling alley. It's my
bowling alley. It's our bowling alley.
88
00:04:44,430 --> 00:04:46,450
I hate to be the one to break this to
you, but I don't think you could
89
00:04:46,450 --> 00:04:48,410
get landmark status for a bowling alley.
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00:04:48,810 --> 00:04:52,150
Carol, you've obviously never
experienced the boyishly convincing
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00:04:52,150 --> 00:04:53,150
Edward J. Stevens.
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00:04:53,210 --> 00:04:54,290
Oh, I think she has.
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Gonorrhea.
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Lasts forever.
95
00:05:01,210 --> 00:05:02,210
Oh, my God.
96
00:05:09,830 --> 00:05:12,010
How do you think you'd go about getting
something landmarked anyway?
97
00:05:12,430 --> 00:05:13,970
I don't know. He called town hall, I
guess.
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00:05:14,350 --> 00:05:16,150
Dr. Burton, how are you this fine day?
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00:05:16,470 --> 00:05:17,189
All right.
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00:05:17,190 --> 00:05:18,190
How are you doing, Phil?
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00:05:18,450 --> 00:05:22,650
Well, listen, uh... I got a favor to
ask.
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Uh -huh.
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00:05:24,790 --> 00:05:25,790
Wait a minute.
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00:05:25,850 --> 00:05:26,850
I know a guy?
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He... This is the guy? Mike is the guy?
Yes.
106
00:05:29,890 --> 00:05:30,970
Mike qualifies as the guy?
107
00:05:31,210 --> 00:05:32,370
Well, he's a guy, isn't he?
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00:05:32,650 --> 00:05:35,390
I know he's a guy, but he's not a guy as
in I know a guy. That's a totally
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different kind of guy.
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Let's agree to disagree, shall we?
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00:05:38,110 --> 00:05:38,929
What do you know?
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00:05:38,930 --> 00:05:39,990
How can I help you, Phil?
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I need to get my hands on some generic
hexamycin. Hexa -what?
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Hexamycin? I've never heard of
hexamycin.
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Really? Okay, I get it.
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How dumb am I?
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Perhaps this will help refresh your
memory?
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Phil, Phil, Phil! I don't think there's
any such thing as hexamycin.
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00:06:01,220 --> 00:06:02,220
Okay.
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00:06:02,560 --> 00:06:03,680
This guy is good.
121
00:06:04,180 --> 00:06:05,560
Ooh, yeah.
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00:06:06,180 --> 00:06:07,180
Gotcha.
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00:06:07,850 --> 00:06:10,770
Harry Lockmatter says his doctor's been
giving him this hexamycin for his
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00:06:10,770 --> 00:06:12,570
arthritis. Yeah, I got a pill right
here.
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00:06:13,510 --> 00:06:16,410
Well, let's send it down to the lab and
see what we can come up with.
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00:06:17,590 --> 00:06:18,590
Dr. Burton?
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00:06:19,330 --> 00:06:20,330
Hey, Dr. Jerome?
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00:06:20,370 --> 00:06:23,170
I'm sorry to disturb your little tea
party, but there are all these people
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sitting here in our waiting room. Any
ideas what they're doing there?
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00:06:26,610 --> 00:06:27,610
Aren't those your patients?
131
00:06:28,150 --> 00:06:30,910
Very good. Your hippie friend is very
perceptive.
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00:06:31,150 --> 00:06:35,050
I'll be right in, Dr. Jerome. No, you
enjoy yourself, Dr. Burton. Don't worry
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about the sick and the dying, gentlemen.
134
00:06:40,360 --> 00:06:41,360
That guy's cool.
135
00:06:52,400 --> 00:06:53,400
Ed?
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00:06:59,900 --> 00:07:01,280
Yes, Sarah. Ed, I'm confused.
137
00:07:01,800 --> 00:07:02,559
What's the matter?
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00:07:02,560 --> 00:07:04,300
You know how you are a bowling alley
lawyer.
139
00:07:04,570 --> 00:07:06,750
Well, you know, I'd really prefer... And
how I transitioned from the bowling
140
00:07:06,750 --> 00:07:09,530
alley side of the business to the
lawyer's side by becoming your legal
141
00:07:09,530 --> 00:07:11,770
assistant. Uh -huh. Well, there is a
gentleman here to see you.
142
00:07:12,070 --> 00:07:14,090
Except he's not here because you are a
lawyer.
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00:07:14,330 --> 00:07:18,110
He's here because you own the bowling
alley. So I believe I am in a gray area.
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00:07:18,490 --> 00:07:19,730
Why don't you just go ahead and send him
in?
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Yes, sir.
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00:07:28,470 --> 00:07:29,870
Hank, Roger, let's queue.
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00:07:30,150 --> 00:07:31,310
Oh, hey, hi.
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00:07:31,870 --> 00:07:32,870
Ed Stephens.
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00:07:33,010 --> 00:07:34,010
You're the new owner.
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00:07:34,410 --> 00:07:36,390
Yes, I am. What can I do for you, Mr.
Rogeleski?
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00:07:37,050 --> 00:07:38,410
I need stuffy bowl.
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00:07:39,070 --> 00:07:43,490
See, every May 9th, me and five of my
buddies, we come here and bowl at
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00:07:43,490 --> 00:07:44,530
midnight. Really?
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00:07:44,930 --> 00:07:45,970
How long has that been going on?
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00:07:46,430 --> 00:07:47,610
Since 1942.
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00:07:49,250 --> 00:07:50,250
Wow.
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00:07:50,890 --> 00:07:51,890
42?
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00:07:52,310 --> 00:07:53,310
What is that?
159
00:07:54,230 --> 00:07:55,430
59 years? That's amazing.
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00:07:56,730 --> 00:08:02,070
I hope it'll be okay with you. I have to
tell you up front, I don't have very
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00:08:02,070 --> 00:08:03,039
much money.
162
00:08:03,040 --> 00:08:05,500
Don't worry about that, Mr. Rogelescu.
Whenever you need, the place is yours.
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00:08:06,480 --> 00:08:08,100
Thanks, Mr. Stevens. Call me Ed.
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00:08:09,060 --> 00:08:10,060
Ed.
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00:08:10,320 --> 00:08:12,940
Thank you. You're welcome. Yeah.
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Okay.
167
00:08:16,500 --> 00:08:17,500
Sure.
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00:08:17,740 --> 00:08:18,740
I am game.
169
00:08:19,780 --> 00:08:20,780
Okay.
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00:08:21,080 --> 00:08:22,080
I'll talk to you tomorrow.
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00:08:22,500 --> 00:08:23,500
Okay, bye, Jeff.
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00:08:24,600 --> 00:08:31,360
The look of love is in your eyes.
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00:08:31,620 --> 00:08:35,600
Okay. You will never guess what I am
doing on my date with Jeff. What?
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00:08:35,980 --> 00:08:39,760
He invited me to a cocktail party for
the Stuckyville chapter of Mensa.
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00:08:40,600 --> 00:08:41,600
Mensa?
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00:08:41,919 --> 00:08:43,380
Jeff Alexander is a genius?
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00:08:43,620 --> 00:08:44,599
Apparently so.
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00:08:44,600 --> 00:08:45,600
Wow. Yeah.
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00:08:45,920 --> 00:08:47,720
Are you wanting to hear my Mensa joke?
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00:08:47,980 --> 00:08:50,960
Yeah. How many Mensa members does it
take to change a light bulb?
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00:08:51,180 --> 00:08:51,879
How many?
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00:08:51,880 --> 00:08:52,880
One.
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00:08:53,120 --> 00:08:54,860
That's good. Yeah, I enjoyed it.
184
00:09:03,650 --> 00:09:05,010
How many women have you had sex with?
185
00:09:06,530 --> 00:09:08,990
Well, we're guys hanging out. That's the
kind of stuff we're supposed to talk
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00:09:08,990 --> 00:09:09,990
about.
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00:09:10,290 --> 00:09:11,290
See you there, Ed.
188
00:09:11,530 --> 00:09:12,509
Hey, Harry.
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00:09:12,510 --> 00:09:14,570
I've got a message to come down here.
What's going on?
190
00:09:14,830 --> 00:09:17,270
All right, well, we found out what
hexamycin is, so... Wait, wait, hey,
191
00:09:17,330 --> 00:09:19,170
don't come waltzing in here for the
victory lap.
192
00:09:19,550 --> 00:09:23,090
Okay, Phil, you go ahead. Thank you.
You're welcome. Mr. Lackamather, we have
193
00:09:23,090 --> 00:09:24,550
discovered what hexamycin is.
194
00:09:24,750 --> 00:09:26,890
Why are you calling me Mr. Lackamather
all of a sudden?
195
00:09:27,570 --> 00:09:31,270
Am I going to die? I had some of my boys
down at the lab examine your pills.
196
00:09:32,620 --> 00:09:34,140
And I have some shocking news for you.
197
00:09:34,500 --> 00:09:35,500
What?
198
00:09:35,700 --> 00:09:38,440
Harold, in the world of pharmaceuticals,
there are many classes of drugs. You
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00:09:38,440 --> 00:09:40,840
have your amphetamines, your
barbiturates, your methamphetamines. How
200
00:09:40,840 --> 00:09:41,920
sugar? That wasn't nice.
201
00:09:42,180 --> 00:09:43,180
Sugar?
202
00:09:43,380 --> 00:09:46,180
100%. You hogs waggling me? He's telling
you the truth, Harry.
203
00:09:46,480 --> 00:09:48,600
Hexamycine's a made -up name. It doesn't
exist. You were given a placebo.
204
00:09:48,920 --> 00:09:52,120
You mean I've been paying this doctor
$85 a week for sugar?
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00:09:53,020 --> 00:09:56,520
I'm going to take a tire into his silky
white ass. Harold, calm down.
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00:09:56,720 --> 00:09:58,180
Calm down. There's a better way.
207
00:09:59,320 --> 00:10:00,320
What?
208
00:10:00,520 --> 00:10:01,960
You legally wronged.
209
00:10:02,200 --> 00:10:03,200
Him lawyer.
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00:10:05,940 --> 00:10:09,100
I said, Ed, I won't sue him.
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00:10:10,200 --> 00:10:13,160
I won't sue him so bad till he bleeds
through his ears.
212
00:10:13,440 --> 00:10:16,860
Let me see what I can do. Now, why do
you got to say that? Let me see what I
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00:10:16,860 --> 00:10:22,200
do. Why not just, okay, I'll be your
lawyer. Ooh, let me see what I can do.
214
00:10:22,200 --> 00:10:25,460
cool. Look at me. I'm a regular
Remington seal.
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00:10:25,700 --> 00:10:27,480
Let me see what I can do.
216
00:10:27,740 --> 00:10:28,740
Finished? Not yet.
217
00:10:29,020 --> 00:10:30,020
Ooh.
218
00:10:30,340 --> 00:10:31,340
Okay, now I'm done.
219
00:10:43,319 --> 00:10:44,319
Okay. Excuse me.
220
00:10:44,440 --> 00:10:45,840
Are you going to speak to the Dr.
Kendall?
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00:10:46,680 --> 00:10:48,840
I'm Dr. Kendall. Hi, Dr. Kendall. Ed
Stevens.
222
00:10:49,180 --> 00:10:50,180
Some place we could talk?
223
00:10:50,380 --> 00:10:51,400
Oh, I'm late for lunch.
224
00:10:51,920 --> 00:10:54,460
Tell Franny here what your problem is,
and she'll be happy to schedule an
225
00:10:54,460 --> 00:10:56,700
appointment for you. No, no, I'm not
here for medical reasons. I'm Harry
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00:10:56,700 --> 00:10:57,700
Lockmatter's lawyer.
227
00:10:59,100 --> 00:11:00,100
Harry Lockmatter's lawyer?
228
00:11:00,580 --> 00:11:01,580
Mm -hmm.
229
00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:03,120
Well, come on.
230
00:11:03,460 --> 00:11:04,460
Walk me to my car.
231
00:11:06,760 --> 00:11:07,760
Ah, what a day.
232
00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:10,620
Yeah. Fresh air makes you feel like
you're 16 again.
233
00:11:11,680 --> 00:11:14,000
So, you're a lawyer. Yes, sir, I am.
What firm?
234
00:11:15,500 --> 00:11:18,060
You're not with Tessel and Tessel, are
you? Because I'll tell you right now, if
235
00:11:18,060 --> 00:11:19,760
you're with Tessel and Tessel, this
conversation's over.
236
00:11:20,040 --> 00:11:21,620
I'm not with Tessel and Tessel. Good.
237
00:11:22,340 --> 00:11:24,260
Arnie Tessel I can live with, but Frank
Tessel?
238
00:11:24,560 --> 00:11:27,720
Hey, don't put my stones in a vice and
tell me we're friends, you know what I
239
00:11:27,720 --> 00:11:28,720
mean? Okay.
240
00:11:28,989 --> 00:11:31,950
Dr. Kendall, I'm here to talk about
Harry Lockmother, why you're charging me
241
00:11:31,950 --> 00:11:32,950
a week for sugar pills.
242
00:11:33,190 --> 00:11:34,330
Oh, that's a placebo, Ed.
243
00:11:35,010 --> 00:11:38,370
Very common practice. I know what a
placebo is, but $85 a week? Listen, I'm
244
00:11:38,370 --> 00:11:40,350
for lunch. I'd love to talk, but I've
really got to go.
245
00:11:40,630 --> 00:11:41,970
All right, then. I guess I'll see you in
court.
246
00:11:43,030 --> 00:11:44,030
Court?
247
00:11:45,310 --> 00:11:47,070
Don't be ridiculous. We're not going to
court.
248
00:11:47,490 --> 00:11:48,690
We're going to settle this like
gentlemen.
249
00:11:49,230 --> 00:11:50,710
Call Franny. Let's have some time for
tomorrow.
250
00:12:15,599 --> 00:12:18,660
Hey, what brings you to this fine
bowling estate? Well, I thought you
251
00:12:18,660 --> 00:12:19,660
a little bit of company.
252
00:12:20,260 --> 00:12:21,260
Oh, company.
253
00:12:22,180 --> 00:12:24,820
Yeah, baby. What are you talking? Fifty?
Sixty? How much?
254
00:12:25,500 --> 00:12:28,080
Not that kind of company. And thanks for
pricing me so very low.
255
00:12:28,380 --> 00:12:29,380
A thousand.
256
00:12:29,800 --> 00:12:30,699
Fifty, sixty.
257
00:12:30,700 --> 00:12:31,499
A thousand.
258
00:12:31,500 --> 00:12:32,500
Yeah.
259
00:12:33,300 --> 00:12:34,720
Hey, tonight's a big night, you know.
260
00:12:35,300 --> 00:12:36,019
How so?
261
00:12:36,020 --> 00:12:38,460
Well, tonight is a night I appear before
the Stockingville Town Council to
262
00:12:38,460 --> 00:12:41,860
officially request landmark status for
Stockingball. You want to come? You're
263
00:12:41,860 --> 00:12:42,860
really going to go through with this?
264
00:12:43,620 --> 00:12:44,620
Yeah.
265
00:12:44,780 --> 00:12:48,560
Ed, I don't think it's that easy to get
landmark status. It's kind of a big
266
00:12:48,560 --> 00:12:49,560
deal.
267
00:12:49,700 --> 00:12:52,000
Hey, there's that guy I was telling you
about. Come on.
268
00:12:55,200 --> 00:12:56,420
Hey, Mr. Roger Lesko.
269
00:12:56,820 --> 00:12:57,820
What do you have there?
270
00:12:57,860 --> 00:13:02,360
Oh, some things for the party. Photo
albums, music. Oh, and a case of RC
271
00:13:03,100 --> 00:13:04,100
A case?
272
00:13:04,140 --> 00:13:07,140
You know, we do have our own soda
fountain here. Oh, yeah, but you don't
273
00:13:07,140 --> 00:13:09,220
RC. It's got to be the clown.
274
00:13:09,900 --> 00:13:10,900
Oh.
275
00:13:12,060 --> 00:13:13,600
Oh, who's this?
276
00:13:14,160 --> 00:13:15,200
This lovely lady.
277
00:13:15,740 --> 00:13:16,740
Well,
278
00:13:16,840 --> 00:13:18,760
we have a smooth talker here.
279
00:13:19,080 --> 00:13:20,340
You could learn something from this man.
280
00:13:21,120 --> 00:13:22,120
That's true.
281
00:13:27,380 --> 00:13:29,960
Well, I appreciate you making this
meeting fit into my schedule.
282
00:13:30,320 --> 00:13:31,400
I'm a very busy man.
283
00:13:32,300 --> 00:13:35,060
Hey, you know anything about equestrian
law?
284
00:13:35,480 --> 00:13:36,339
Equestrian law?
285
00:13:36,340 --> 00:13:37,340
Law's about horses.
286
00:13:37,420 --> 00:13:40,520
Yeah, I have a couple of palominos
coming up from Venezuela. I need someone
287
00:13:40,520 --> 00:13:41,520
look at the paperwork.
288
00:13:41,680 --> 00:13:42,680
What do you say?
289
00:13:42,750 --> 00:13:44,550
Look, Dr. Kendall, I don't want to talk
about a question. I don't want to talk
290
00:13:44,550 --> 00:13:46,670
about horses. I want to talk about Harry
Lockmatter, all right? We can do it
291
00:13:46,670 --> 00:13:48,330
here. We can do it in a courtroom. It's
your choice.
292
00:13:51,070 --> 00:13:52,070
You seem upset.
293
00:13:52,910 --> 00:13:54,030
You want me to buy you a tan?
294
00:13:54,430 --> 00:13:55,430
Let me buy you a tan.
295
00:13:55,990 --> 00:13:59,090
Lorraine! I don't want a tan, Dr.
Kendall. What I want is to talk about...
296
00:13:59,090 --> 00:14:00,290
want to talk about Harry Lockmatter.
297
00:14:01,170 --> 00:14:02,170
Okay.
298
00:14:02,270 --> 00:14:03,270
Shoot!
299
00:14:05,110 --> 00:14:06,110
Okay.
300
00:14:06,790 --> 00:14:10,890
You're charging me $85 a week for sugar
pills. Ed, if I may, let's cut to the
301
00:14:10,890 --> 00:14:11,910
chase. What are you looking for?
302
00:14:12,520 --> 00:14:14,240
You know, to make Harry happy.
303
00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:15,520
Well, he'd like his money back.
304
00:14:16,100 --> 00:14:20,340
$85 a week for 22 weeks, that's $1 ,870,
none of which was covered by insurance.
305
00:14:21,020 --> 00:14:22,020
$1 ,870.
306
00:14:22,180 --> 00:14:23,180
Yeah.
307
00:14:23,680 --> 00:14:24,680
You got it.
308
00:14:25,900 --> 00:14:29,400
Not that I did anything wrong. This is
not an admission of guilt, you
309
00:14:29,400 --> 00:14:30,400
understand.
310
00:14:30,480 --> 00:14:35,940
Yep. Just putting this whole affair into
the life's too short category.
311
00:14:38,540 --> 00:14:39,539
There you go.
312
00:14:39,540 --> 00:14:40,600
Okay. See?
313
00:14:41,540 --> 00:14:42,540
Now, gentlemen, behave.
314
00:14:42,800 --> 00:14:44,560
Good. I will take this right back to my
client.
315
00:14:45,180 --> 00:14:46,340
Sure you won't let me buy you a tan?
316
00:14:47,380 --> 00:14:48,380
I'm cool.
317
00:14:54,160 --> 00:14:59,820
I know what you're thinking.
318
00:15:00,100 --> 00:15:02,220
Oh, what? Now you Mensa dudes can read
minds?
319
00:15:02,440 --> 00:15:06,280
You think I'm a dork for joining Mensa,
but I'm telling you, there's nothing
320
00:15:06,280 --> 00:15:09,870
pretentious. It's just... I did it to
meet people. Okay, you don't have to
321
00:15:09,870 --> 00:15:12,550
explain yourself, all right? I almost
joined Mensa myself.
322
00:15:13,030 --> 00:15:16,690
Seriously? Yeah. Why didn't you? Because
I have the IQ of a golf ball.
323
00:15:17,990 --> 00:15:19,290
That is not true.
324
00:15:19,650 --> 00:15:20,730
Jeff. Hey.
325
00:15:21,130 --> 00:15:24,390
And you remember Doreen. Hi, Doreen.
This is Molly Hudson.
326
00:15:24,730 --> 00:15:29,230
Hi. Nice to meet you. Hi, nice to meet
you. Molly teaches science over at
327
00:15:29,230 --> 00:15:30,510
Stuckeyville High School. Yeah. Oh.
328
00:15:31,110 --> 00:15:33,630
Really? Are you Mensa? Oh, me?
329
00:15:33,870 --> 00:15:35,010
Oh, no. No.
330
00:15:36,700 --> 00:15:40,840
Although I can multiply two five -digit
numbers in my head. Is that right?
331
00:15:41,480 --> 00:15:45,960
What's 12 ,452 times 15 ,983?
332
00:15:48,500 --> 00:15:49,500
970586540.
333
00:15:50,260 --> 00:15:52,460
Let's have some fun, shall we? Excuse
me.
334
00:15:55,700 --> 00:15:57,860
I can't. I just gave him my Social
Security number.
335
00:16:04,400 --> 00:16:08,200
You've had your turn, sir. If it pleases
the council. Sir, you have had your
336
00:16:08,200 --> 00:16:12,120
turn. May I speak? Can I answer? May I
please speak? Can I answer? May I please
337
00:16:12,120 --> 00:16:13,200
speak? Fine, go ahead.
338
00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:16,840
Look, all I'm saying is, if you expect
the Stuckyville Little Leaguers to be
339
00:16:16,840 --> 00:16:19,320
competitive against the other towns, we
need aluminum bats.
340
00:16:19,540 --> 00:16:20,279
End of story.
341
00:16:20,280 --> 00:16:21,880
Yes, I've heard you.
342
00:16:22,160 --> 00:16:26,380
And what we are saying is, right now,
there isn't money in our budget for
343
00:16:26,380 --> 00:16:27,380
aluminum bats.
344
00:16:27,580 --> 00:16:29,100
Do you have any idea what you're going
to say?
345
00:16:30,830 --> 00:16:32,010
I'll tell you what I'm not going to say.
346
00:16:32,230 --> 00:16:34,290
Steer clear of any mention of the need
for aluminum bats.
347
00:16:34,830 --> 00:16:36,670
These are the kids. It's a couple
hundred dollars.
348
00:16:37,310 --> 00:16:38,750
Well, I'll tell you what, Councilman.
349
00:16:39,370 --> 00:16:40,750
I'm going to pay for the bats myself.
350
00:16:41,050 --> 00:16:44,730
And when we win the championship, you're
not invited to the parade. Do you hear
351
00:16:44,730 --> 00:16:48,130
me? You're not invited, Councilman. All
right? Fine. Fine.
352
00:16:51,450 --> 00:16:54,270
Is there anyone else who would like to
address the council?
353
00:16:55,190 --> 00:16:56,190
Yes, sir.
354
00:17:04,919 --> 00:17:05,919
Hello. Hello.
355
00:17:06,579 --> 00:17:08,359
I'm Ed Stevens. I'm the owner of Stucky
Bowl.
356
00:17:09,200 --> 00:17:10,819
Yes, the lawyer.
357
00:17:11,160 --> 00:17:14,380
I've heard about you. What can we do for
you today, Mr. Stevens?
358
00:17:15,060 --> 00:17:17,900
Ah, yes, I'm glad you asked. Thanks.
This should only take a minute. I would
359
00:17:17,900 --> 00:17:21,200
like to get landmark status for Stucky
Bowl. You want us to landmark a bowling
360
00:17:21,200 --> 00:17:22,720
alley? Yep, that's right.
361
00:17:24,040 --> 00:17:25,140
Why would we do that?
362
00:17:25,579 --> 00:17:28,180
It has no architectural or historical
significance.
363
00:17:29,380 --> 00:17:32,960
Uh, yes, but Stucky Bowl...
364
00:17:33,520 --> 00:17:36,800
Stucky Bowl is an integral part of
Stuckyville. It's woven into the very
365
00:17:36,800 --> 00:17:38,540
of town. Yeah, it's woven. It's woven.
366
00:17:38,740 --> 00:17:41,040
And Stucky Bowl, Stuckyville.
367
00:17:41,460 --> 00:17:44,480
I mean, don't tell me that's a
coincidence. Stucky Bowl, Stuckyville. I
368
00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:48,140
I'm right. Am I right? I'm right. Stucky
Bowl, Stuckyville.
369
00:18:00,560 --> 00:18:01,920
We just have to prove that Stacky Bull
is significant.
370
00:18:02,220 --> 00:18:03,220
How do we do that? No idea.
371
00:18:06,020 --> 00:18:06,979
All right.
372
00:18:06,980 --> 00:18:09,700
I don't want to rat anybody out, but I
just overheard a guy with a chance,
373
00:18:09,760 --> 00:18:13,300
David. He loves the G -string divas. I'm
sorry, sir. You will have to return
374
00:18:13,300 --> 00:18:14,300
your Mensa card.
375
00:18:14,500 --> 00:18:18,120
You could be a genius and still love G
-string divas. In fact, I could create a
376
00:18:18,120 --> 00:18:21,300
very compelling syllogism proving that
it's impossible to be a genius and not
377
00:18:21,300 --> 00:18:23,040
love the G -string divas. Well,
378
00:18:23,840 --> 00:18:24,840
hello, Pulitzer.
379
00:18:26,700 --> 00:18:28,820
Oh, my God. What is he doing here?
380
00:18:29,850 --> 00:18:30,890
You know Dr. Satula?
381
00:18:31,870 --> 00:18:32,870
He's a regular here.
382
00:18:36,950 --> 00:18:40,810
I've always felt that M .C. Escher was a
clever craftsman, but not a true
383
00:18:40,810 --> 00:18:41,810
artist.
384
00:18:42,490 --> 00:18:43,650
Let me tell you my man's a joke.
385
00:18:43,930 --> 00:18:47,890
Sure. Okay, um, how many man's people
does it take to screw in a light bulb?
386
00:18:48,670 --> 00:18:49,670
One.
387
00:18:50,130 --> 00:18:53,090
Oh, well, Carol told me that one.
388
00:18:54,810 --> 00:18:56,070
She's a really good friend to you.
389
00:18:56,670 --> 00:18:57,670
Yeah, she is.
390
00:18:58,330 --> 00:18:59,330
Why do you say that?
391
00:18:59,640 --> 00:19:03,220
And she's the one who told me that you
were smart and funny. And if I recall
392
00:19:03,220 --> 00:19:05,240
correctly, I think you used the word
amazing.
393
00:19:05,900 --> 00:19:06,900
Is that right?
394
00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:10,760
Yep. And I gotta say, she's got you
pegged.
395
00:19:11,580 --> 00:19:13,000
When did you and Carol talk about me?
396
00:19:13,520 --> 00:19:16,500
It's a funny story because I actually
asked her out first.
397
00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:19,200
Oh.
398
00:19:20,660 --> 00:19:21,880
That is funny.
399
00:19:22,820 --> 00:19:24,060
I didn't know that.
400
00:19:24,320 --> 00:19:27,940
Yeah, but she said no. And she says, you
call Molly. And you know, I gotta say.
401
00:19:29,520 --> 00:19:31,360
I'm really glad I did. Oh.
402
00:19:32,440 --> 00:19:34,140
Thanks, Jeff. That's sweet.
403
00:19:38,360 --> 00:19:39,640
Mr. Bratley. Now!
404
00:19:39,900 --> 00:19:40,900
You understand what we're looking for?
405
00:19:41,380 --> 00:19:42,259
Architectural significance.
406
00:19:42,260 --> 00:19:44,920
Exactly, exactly. If Stucky Bowl has it,
we are one step closer to landmark
407
00:19:44,920 --> 00:19:46,700
status. Ethan Brownlee, what a pleasure.
408
00:19:46,960 --> 00:19:50,820
Do I know you? No, no, but I am a
longtime admirer of your buildings,
409
00:19:50,820 --> 00:19:53,520
the Denny's on Route 38. It is an
absolute masterstroke.
410
00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:56,580
Thank you. Now tell me, did you get to
meet Denny himself? He always seemed
411
00:19:56,580 --> 00:19:58,440
he'd be a kind man. Scram. Sure.
412
00:19:58,760 --> 00:20:00,680
Stucky Bowl, in all its glory.
413
00:20:01,280 --> 00:20:02,280
What are your first impressions?
414
00:20:02,480 --> 00:20:05,380
Well, it looks like a bowling alley.
415
00:20:05,980 --> 00:20:07,940
Architecturally significant bowling
alley? Hold that thought.
416
00:20:08,240 --> 00:20:10,540
I want to show you something. You see
this shoe counter? Yes. It's elliptical.
417
00:20:10,620 --> 00:20:13,460
So? Well, so bowling's a sport of
roundness, am I right? Absolutely.
418
00:20:13,720 --> 00:20:17,640
Well, this shoe counter is round, but
not quite round, as a matter of fact.
419
00:20:17,640 --> 00:20:20,780
shoe counter serves as an ironic
commentary on roundness. It does. It
420
00:20:20,780 --> 00:20:21,519
does. Uh -huh.
421
00:20:21,520 --> 00:20:24,140
And behind me, the snack bar. Now, the
snack bar's lines?
422
00:20:24,760 --> 00:20:25,699
Architecturally significant.
423
00:20:25,700 --> 00:20:26,820
Exactly. Exactly.
424
00:20:27,500 --> 00:20:30,700
Yes, well, I don't see where... Of
course you do. Of course you do.
425
00:20:31,780 --> 00:20:32,780
Ball racks.
426
00:20:32,960 --> 00:20:36,120
These ball racks are forged out of
vintage iron. Vintage iron, my friend.
427
00:20:36,580 --> 00:20:38,400
Ergonomically designed to provide
immediate bowling ball access.
428
00:20:40,520 --> 00:20:41,620
Carol, you got anything?
429
00:20:42,060 --> 00:20:43,500
The lanes are shiny. The lanes are
shiny.
430
00:20:44,580 --> 00:20:45,580
Stay there, Ed.
431
00:20:45,860 --> 00:20:49,120
Harry! Excuse me one moment, Mr.
Brownlee. Please serve Mr. Brownlee
432
00:20:49,120 --> 00:20:49,679
to drink.
433
00:20:49,680 --> 00:20:51,580
Something architecturally significant.
434
00:20:53,200 --> 00:20:56,380
Would you like root beer?
435
00:20:57,380 --> 00:20:58,380
Yeah.
436
00:21:01,800 --> 00:21:04,860
I gotta admit, I was surprised he agreed
to settle just like that. Yeah, well, I
437
00:21:04,860 --> 00:21:05,839
ain't too surprised.
438
00:21:05,840 --> 00:21:06,599
What do you mean?
439
00:21:06,600 --> 00:21:09,460
Martha, Bruce, they've been going to Dr.
Kendall for years.
440
00:21:09,760 --> 00:21:14,220
Really? He sold me the same pills as
Harry. Me too, and a bunch of my
441
00:21:14,900 --> 00:21:18,840
Good doctor's got quite a racket going,
doesn't he? You know, Harry, I don't
442
00:21:18,840 --> 00:21:19,840
think you should accept the settlement.
443
00:21:20,020 --> 00:21:22,760
We should file a class action suit.
Let's go after this guy.
444
00:21:23,380 --> 00:21:24,380
Let's do it.
445
00:21:24,820 --> 00:21:25,840
Aaron Brockovich.
446
00:21:26,940 --> 00:21:27,940
Start tomorrow.
447
00:21:33,420 --> 00:21:34,720
the last time you cleaned this basement?
448
00:21:35,440 --> 00:21:36,440
Cleaned?
449
00:21:36,620 --> 00:21:37,820
Just found out I had a basement.
450
00:21:38,120 --> 00:21:39,120
What you looking for, Chief?
451
00:21:39,340 --> 00:21:42,080
Oh, anything of historical significance,
I guess, Kenny, that might impress the
452
00:21:42,080 --> 00:21:42,959
town council.
453
00:21:42,960 --> 00:21:43,960
Uh -huh.
454
00:21:43,980 --> 00:21:44,980
Oh, how about this?
455
00:21:46,380 --> 00:21:48,360
This baby here dates back to 1976.
456
00:21:48,780 --> 00:21:50,460
We had it made special for the
bicentennial.
457
00:21:50,760 --> 00:21:53,380
Yeah, no, that's good. I was thinking
more along the lines of old photos,
458
00:21:53,460 --> 00:21:54,620
documents, that kind of thing.
459
00:21:55,300 --> 00:21:56,300
Oh, huh.
460
00:21:56,780 --> 00:21:57,780
All right.
461
00:21:58,160 --> 00:22:00,520
Well, Big Rudy used to keep all his
papers right here in his cabinet.
462
00:22:03,370 --> 00:22:04,470
Really? All right.
463
00:22:07,050 --> 00:22:08,050
Take a look.
464
00:22:08,890 --> 00:22:10,290
Oh. Jackpot.
465
00:22:11,570 --> 00:22:12,810
This is great, Kenny. Thanks.
466
00:22:13,490 --> 00:22:17,770
You know, by the tricentennial, we'll
all be dead.
467
00:22:21,370 --> 00:22:23,670
This is a real treasure trove of Stucky
Boliana.
468
00:22:24,010 --> 00:22:28,310
I would have gone with Stucky Bolabilia.
Wow, this might be something.
469
00:22:28,530 --> 00:22:29,990
Ford visits a local bowling alley.
470
00:22:30,490 --> 00:22:31,510
Gerald? No.
471
00:22:32,160 --> 00:22:33,160
Henry. No.
472
00:22:33,380 --> 00:22:34,380
Harrison? No.
473
00:22:34,520 --> 00:22:35,740
Dew. Dew.
474
00:22:35,960 --> 00:22:36,980
Who's Dew Ford?
475
00:22:37,240 --> 00:22:38,980
Dew Ford is a state spelling bee
champion in 1962.
476
00:22:40,620 --> 00:22:42,260
So how'd the big date go with Jeff
Alexander?
477
00:22:42,760 --> 00:22:44,100
Oh, don't ask.
478
00:22:44,360 --> 00:22:48,860
Why, you guys didn't hit it off? No,
actually, we had a great time until he
479
00:22:48,860 --> 00:22:50,680
me that before asking me out, he asked
out Carol.
480
00:22:52,740 --> 00:22:56,640
Huh. You know what's even worse is that
it's just very clear to me that the only
481
00:22:56,640 --> 00:22:58,780
reason he even asked me out was because
Carol told him to.
482
00:22:59,420 --> 00:23:01,040
But he did it just to get close to her.
483
00:23:01,980 --> 00:23:02,980
I doubt that, Molly.
484
00:23:13,620 --> 00:23:14,740
Well, what is it?
485
00:23:15,120 --> 00:23:18,880
This, my dear Ed, is a flying buttress.
There is nothing more architecturally
486
00:23:18,880 --> 00:23:20,880
significant than a flying buttress.
487
00:23:21,680 --> 00:23:22,680
Ed.
488
00:23:23,220 --> 00:23:24,220
Dr. Kendall.
489
00:23:24,280 --> 00:23:26,780
Do you have a minute? Dr. Kendall,
you've been served with a lawsuit. It's
490
00:23:26,780 --> 00:23:28,220
inappropriate that we speak without your
lawyer present.
491
00:23:28,500 --> 00:23:29,500
A minute.
492
00:23:32,770 --> 00:23:34,290
Even on the floor, it's significant.
493
00:23:35,630 --> 00:23:37,910
Dr. Kenner, we really shouldn't be
speaking without your lawyer, President.
494
00:23:37,950 --> 00:23:38,950
you've got to drop this case.
495
00:23:39,090 --> 00:23:41,170
Can't do that. You scam people out of
thousands of dollars.
496
00:23:41,710 --> 00:23:42,710
It's not a scam.
497
00:23:42,810 --> 00:23:43,689
It's a treatment.
498
00:23:43,690 --> 00:23:46,410
You've been lying to them. Dispensing
phony medication at a ridiculous profit,
499
00:23:46,410 --> 00:23:49,850
might add. I'm dispensing a placebo.
That's what a placebo is, phony
500
00:23:50,630 --> 00:23:53,490
It works because the patient thinks it's
real. I know what a placebo is.
501
00:23:53,990 --> 00:23:55,370
I just think what you're doing is
illegal.
502
00:23:56,250 --> 00:23:57,250
I know.
503
00:23:57,790 --> 00:24:01,210
You see my fancy car and my expensive
suits and you think, this guy's a crook.
504
00:24:01,790 --> 00:24:02,790
Well, you're wrong.
505
00:24:03,690 --> 00:24:07,010
I'm a doctor, a really good doctor. I
cured these people when no one else
506
00:24:08,390 --> 00:24:09,390
Ed,
507
00:24:09,550 --> 00:24:12,510
look, once word of this case gets out,
all my patients that I treated
508
00:24:12,510 --> 00:24:15,350
successfully with placebos, they're
going to start questioning their
509
00:24:15,370 --> 00:24:16,370
and it's going to stop working.
510
00:24:16,990 --> 00:24:19,530
That may or may not be true. We'll have
to let a judge decide about the money,
511
00:24:19,590 --> 00:24:20,590
though.
512
00:24:22,650 --> 00:24:27,050
Mr. Lockmatter, when Dr. Kenda offered
to sell you these $85 pills, did he tell
513
00:24:27,050 --> 00:24:28,150
you they contained nothing but sugar?
514
00:24:28,470 --> 00:24:29,470
No, sir, he did not.
515
00:24:29,870 --> 00:24:30,870
What did he say they were?
516
00:24:31,040 --> 00:24:34,340
He told me it was experimental arthritis
drug that wasn't used too often because
517
00:24:34,340 --> 00:24:35,340
it was too expensive.
518
00:24:35,480 --> 00:24:38,780
See, would you spend $85 a week on these
pills if you knew they contained
519
00:24:38,780 --> 00:24:39,599
nothing but sugar?
520
00:24:39,600 --> 00:24:40,600
Are you kidding me?
521
00:24:40,720 --> 00:24:41,720
Hell no.
522
00:24:41,880 --> 00:24:44,960
So he sold you something that you did
not want by telling you it was something
523
00:24:44,960 --> 00:24:45,939
you did want, is that right?
524
00:24:45,940 --> 00:24:46,839
You got it.
525
00:24:46,840 --> 00:24:49,520
That quack ripped me off at the tune of
1 ,900 bucks.
526
00:24:49,860 --> 00:24:51,760
He's lucky I didn't whomp him upside the
head.
527
00:24:51,980 --> 00:24:53,500
Thank you, Mr. Lockmiller. Nothing
further.
528
00:24:55,280 --> 00:24:58,360
Uh, Mr. Lockmiller, when did you first
develop arthritis?
529
00:24:59,240 --> 00:25:00,240
About five years ago.
530
00:25:00,400 --> 00:25:03,360
And you went to see your family doctor,
Dr.
531
00:25:04,000 --> 00:25:06,120
Charles Aroni, for treatment, did you
not?
532
00:25:06,380 --> 00:25:08,300
Yeah. Was he able to do anything for
you?
533
00:25:08,520 --> 00:25:09,520
Yeah, he helped.
534
00:25:09,680 --> 00:25:13,020
But over time, the symptoms got worse,
did they not?
535
00:25:13,240 --> 00:25:15,040
Yeah. So, you went to see Dr.
536
00:25:15,240 --> 00:25:17,760
Kendall. What did he do for you? Well,
try a different thing.
537
00:25:17,980 --> 00:25:18,879
Nothing worked?
538
00:25:18,880 --> 00:25:23,330
No. So, as a last resort, because
nothing else worked, he attempted to
539
00:25:23,330 --> 00:25:26,430
your problem psychologically by
prescribing placebos.
540
00:25:26,670 --> 00:25:29,290
Rejection. He didn't just prescribe
them. He sold them.
541
00:25:29,770 --> 00:25:32,990
Sustained. Did you or did you not tell
Dr.
542
00:25:33,270 --> 00:25:37,410
Kendall that you would be happy to spend
$85 a week to cure your arthritis?
543
00:25:37,990 --> 00:25:40,990
Yes, but... When you started taking the
pills, did your arthritis go away?
544
00:25:41,730 --> 00:25:42,730
Yes.
545
00:25:44,050 --> 00:25:45,390
I'm awfully confused.
546
00:25:46,010 --> 00:25:49,870
He offered to sell you a cure. You
bought the cure. The cure worked.
547
00:25:50,830 --> 00:25:53,270
So what are we all doing here, Mr.
548
00:25:53,570 --> 00:25:54,830
Lockmather? Objection.
549
00:25:55,410 --> 00:25:57,150
Withdrawal. I have nothing more, Your
Honor.
550
00:26:06,770 --> 00:26:07,770
Hey, Mo.
551
00:26:08,390 --> 00:26:09,390
Hi.
552
00:26:09,590 --> 00:26:10,590
How was your date?
553
00:26:10,750 --> 00:26:13,530
It was great up until the part where it
started to really, really suck.
554
00:26:13,920 --> 00:26:14,920
What?
555
00:26:16,160 --> 00:26:17,960
How come you didn't tell me that Jeff
asked you out?
556
00:26:18,300 --> 00:26:19,900
I didn't think it mattered.
557
00:26:20,260 --> 00:26:23,540
How could it not matter? The guy I like
asked out my best friend.
558
00:26:23,900 --> 00:26:27,240
But no, Molly, I didn't like that at
all. Jeff and I were out on that stupid
559
00:26:27,240 --> 00:26:31,060
fake double date thing with Bonnie and
Ed. On the way home, he casually asked
560
00:26:31,060 --> 00:26:33,460
if I wanted to do something sometime. It
was probably just being polite. It
561
00:26:33,460 --> 00:26:34,199
didn't mean a thing.
562
00:26:34,200 --> 00:26:35,420
Well, then why didn't you tell me?
563
00:26:36,860 --> 00:26:38,120
I don't know. No.
564
00:26:38,500 --> 00:26:39,500
Come on.
565
00:26:40,650 --> 00:26:43,750
I didn't tell you because I didn't want
you to make too much of it.
566
00:26:44,390 --> 00:26:45,390
I see.
567
00:26:46,950 --> 00:26:50,650
Okay, Mom, look, I'm sorry you're upset
about this. Maybe I should have said
568
00:26:50,650 --> 00:26:52,830
something, but if I had, would you have
gone out with him? No.
569
00:26:53,030 --> 00:26:54,770
Then that would have been a mistake.
570
00:26:55,470 --> 00:26:57,010
Look, I just wanted you to be happy.
571
00:26:57,610 --> 00:27:00,630
Do you even realize how patronizing that
sounds?
572
00:27:01,240 --> 00:27:04,780
Look, I am your friend, Carol. I am not
one of your charity projects. I am not
573
00:27:04,780 --> 00:27:09,320
the girls' JV basketball team or some
poor little nerd who's failing gym. I am
574
00:27:09,320 --> 00:27:12,480
not one of the losers that you help so
that you can feel better about your life
575
00:27:12,480 --> 00:27:16,020
being served to you on a silver platter.
Is that what you think? Just do me a
576
00:27:16,020 --> 00:27:19,700
favor, okay? The next time you want to
help me, tell me first. Okay, that way I
577
00:27:19,700 --> 00:27:21,300
can go hide in my basement until it's
over.
578
00:27:22,100 --> 00:27:24,020
No, wait a second. Wait, wait, wait,
wait a second.
579
00:27:24,440 --> 00:27:27,560
A guy that you're interested in asked me
out. A guy who, by the way, if it
580
00:27:27,560 --> 00:27:30,460
weren't for you, I probably would have
gone out with. And what did I say?
581
00:27:30,960 --> 00:27:31,739
I say no.
582
00:27:31,740 --> 00:27:33,100
No. Go out with Miles.
583
00:27:33,500 --> 00:27:35,280
Miles is great. Miles is amazing.
584
00:27:35,600 --> 00:27:37,360
And what do I get for my trouble? This.
585
00:27:38,140 --> 00:27:39,140
Uh -uh.
586
00:27:39,300 --> 00:27:42,640
Wait. I am really tired of you telling
me that my life has been served to me on
587
00:27:42,640 --> 00:27:44,600
a silver platter. It is getting really
old.
588
00:27:44,840 --> 00:27:49,740
Do I have this amazing job? Do I have
the husband and the three kids and the
589
00:27:49,740 --> 00:27:50,760
house and the white picket fence? No.
590
00:27:50,980 --> 00:27:55,360
And you position yourself like you're an
underdog and you are... Oh, never mind.
591
00:28:01,450 --> 00:28:04,450
Dr. Kendall, why did you sell placebos
to Harry Lockmather?
592
00:28:04,910 --> 00:28:06,890
Because I'd exhausted all other forms of
treatment.
593
00:28:07,930 --> 00:28:10,930
I've had good luck with placebos in the
past, and he was really suffering. I
594
00:28:10,930 --> 00:28:11,930
thought it was worth a try.
595
00:28:12,010 --> 00:28:15,030
Why did you charge him $85 a week for
the pills?
596
00:28:15,410 --> 00:28:17,870
Well, it's all part of the psychology of
the placebo effect.
597
00:28:18,690 --> 00:28:21,490
The more things cost, the better people
think it is.
598
00:28:22,230 --> 00:28:25,370
And in order for the treatment to work,
Mr. Lockmather had to believe that these
599
00:28:25,370 --> 00:28:26,370
pills were very special.
600
00:28:27,150 --> 00:28:29,390
And that's not going to happen if I sell
them for nickel.
601
00:28:29,840 --> 00:28:31,200
And how did you come to this conclusion?
602
00:28:31,560 --> 00:28:33,680
Well, by analyzing years of clinical
data.
603
00:28:34,400 --> 00:28:38,040
In the early days of my practice, I
charged much less for placebos and they
604
00:28:38,040 --> 00:28:39,040
much less effective.
605
00:28:39,260 --> 00:28:43,480
And I found that $85 a week is about the
least I can charge for a successful
606
00:28:43,480 --> 00:28:47,240
treatment. Ah, but doctor, you lied to
your patients. What you told them was
607
00:28:47,240 --> 00:28:51,300
hexamycin was nothing but sugar. I asked
them each very clearly.
608
00:28:52,020 --> 00:28:55,800
Would it be worth it to you to pay $85 a
week to get rid of your arthritis?
609
00:28:56,720 --> 00:28:58,120
And when they answered yes...
610
00:28:59,000 --> 00:29:02,080
I embarked on a course of treatment that
made it necessary for me to lie to
611
00:29:02,080 --> 00:29:05,540
them. The treatment wouldn't work if I
didn't. I gave these people relief from
612
00:29:05,540 --> 00:29:06,560
years of physical agony.
613
00:29:06,820 --> 00:29:08,160
Indeed you did, sir.
614
00:29:08,620 --> 00:29:09,620
Thank you, doctor.
615
00:29:11,760 --> 00:29:16,060
Dr. Kendall, suppose you went to a
jeweler and you paid $5 ,000 for a
616
00:29:16,060 --> 00:29:19,500
diamond. You brought it home to your
wife and she enjoyed this ring for the
617
00:29:19,500 --> 00:29:22,440
10 years. Then one day you found it was
cubic zirconium. So you went back to the
618
00:29:22,440 --> 00:29:25,660
jeweler and you asked for your money
back. But the jeweler said, no, I don't
619
00:29:25,660 --> 00:29:26,509
you a dime.
620
00:29:26,510 --> 00:29:29,390
Because you paid for the experience of
owning a $5 ,000 diamond for the last 10
621
00:29:29,390 --> 00:29:31,390
years. You've had that very experience.
How would you respond?
622
00:29:31,670 --> 00:29:32,670
I'd demand my money back.
623
00:29:33,570 --> 00:29:34,950
But your example isn't quite fair.
624
00:29:35,510 --> 00:29:38,230
A diamond's value goes beyond its effect
on the person owning it.
625
00:29:38,710 --> 00:29:41,390
But a drug's only value is its effect on
the person taking it.
626
00:29:41,770 --> 00:29:44,570
Dr. Kenner, you testified that for a
placebo to work, the patient must
627
00:29:44,570 --> 00:29:45,529
it's real. Is that right?
628
00:29:45,530 --> 00:29:46,169
That's right.
629
00:29:46,170 --> 00:29:48,510
Is charging a huge sum of money the only
way to make the patient believe the
630
00:29:48,510 --> 00:29:49,510
medication is real?
631
00:29:49,590 --> 00:29:50,630
I've found it's very effective.
632
00:29:51,510 --> 00:29:54,510
Couldn't you just charge $85 for a few
weeks, and after a time, you bring the
633
00:29:54,510 --> 00:29:55,990
patient in, you say, well, you'll never
believe it.
634
00:29:56,320 --> 00:29:59,580
They're making a generic brand. Instead
of $85 a week, it's now $5 a week.
635
00:29:59,920 --> 00:30:00,920
Same exact pill.
636
00:30:01,380 --> 00:30:02,380
Wouldn't they believe you?
637
00:30:02,800 --> 00:30:05,900
I mean, as long as we're making up lies,
why not make up lies that don't cost so
638
00:30:05,900 --> 00:30:08,760
much? I wouldn't have wanted to risk
tampering with a treatment that was
639
00:30:08,760 --> 00:30:09,760
so beautifully.
640
00:30:09,820 --> 00:30:14,420
Dr. Kendall, these pills that were just
sugar cost your patients $85 a week. And
641
00:30:14,420 --> 00:30:16,000
how much does a week of sugar pills cost
you?
642
00:30:17,040 --> 00:30:18,040
I don't know offhand.
643
00:30:19,120 --> 00:30:20,120
16 cents a week.
644
00:30:21,360 --> 00:30:22,139
16 cents.
645
00:30:22,140 --> 00:30:24,040
So, that means...
646
00:30:25,450 --> 00:30:26,450
You're charging your patients.
647
00:30:28,230 --> 00:30:29,230
Huh?
648
00:30:29,870 --> 00:30:31,270
531 times what it costs you.
649
00:30:31,610 --> 00:30:32,610
It's quite a business.
650
00:30:33,450 --> 00:30:34,450
Objection.
651
00:30:35,450 --> 00:30:36,450
Nothing further.
652
00:30:45,810 --> 00:30:46,990
Hey, Molly.
653
00:30:47,950 --> 00:30:49,410
Oh, hi, Jeff. Hey.
654
00:30:49,850 --> 00:30:51,610
You're really hard to reach lately.
655
00:30:51,990 --> 00:30:54,210
Yeah, I'm sorry. I've been really busy
at school.
656
00:30:55,490 --> 00:30:59,470
Molly, I talked to Carol, and I know why
you're upset.
657
00:30:59,870 --> 00:31:01,270
Really, Jeff? It's okay.
658
00:31:02,090 --> 00:31:07,350
Listen, I can understand why you're mad
at her, but why are you mad at me?
659
00:31:08,170 --> 00:31:09,910
You know what, Jeff? I'm not.
660
00:31:11,750 --> 00:31:12,750
I think you are.
661
00:31:14,350 --> 00:31:18,310
Don't take it personally to ask Carol
out. I mean, I had a great time with you
662
00:31:18,310 --> 00:31:20,830
the other night, and I'd really like to
see you again.
663
00:31:22,190 --> 00:31:23,190
You know what?
664
00:31:23,630 --> 00:31:24,489
You're right.
665
00:31:24,490 --> 00:31:28,690
Jeff, you didn't do anything wrong by
asking out Carol. I mean, who can blame
666
00:31:28,690 --> 00:31:33,430
you? I guess I just... I feel like being
somebody's first choice.
667
00:31:33,750 --> 00:31:37,030
But you are my first choice now that...
Now that you've gotten to know me.
668
00:31:40,010 --> 00:31:41,010
Hey, Jeff.
669
00:31:49,890 --> 00:31:53,050
The use of placebos is undeniably
effective.
670
00:31:53,770 --> 00:31:57,070
Patients willingly paid the price and in
return got what they wanted, relief
671
00:31:57,070 --> 00:31:58,070
from their pain.
672
00:31:58,750 --> 00:32:03,130
However, we don't live in a society
where the end automatically justifies
673
00:32:03,130 --> 00:32:06,670
means, and the sale of these placebo
pills constitutes fraud.
674
00:32:07,470 --> 00:32:11,870
Whether they worked or not, they were
misrepresented by Dr. Kendall, and that
675
00:32:11,870 --> 00:32:12,870
cannot be allowed.
676
00:32:13,370 --> 00:32:17,570
I therefore rule that Dr. Kendall refund
all the monies paid to him by the
677
00:32:17,570 --> 00:32:21,250
plaintiffs and by any others who may
have been treated in this manner.
678
00:32:22,070 --> 00:32:23,070
And Dr.
679
00:32:23,960 --> 00:32:25,220
Don't let there be a next time.
680
00:32:26,080 --> 00:32:29,820
Because next time, you won't leave my
courtroom with your medical license.
681
00:32:31,040 --> 00:32:32,040
Understood?
682
00:32:33,020 --> 00:32:34,020
Yes, sir.
683
00:32:36,100 --> 00:32:37,100
You did it, son.
684
00:32:37,420 --> 00:32:39,900
You treated old Harry Locke Mathis
greenbacks.
685
00:32:41,440 --> 00:32:42,440
Congratulations, Ed.
686
00:32:43,200 --> 00:32:46,700
By tomorrow, all the people I cured of
arthritis will experience all the good
687
00:32:46,700 --> 00:32:48,500
old agonizing pain they used to know and
love.
688
00:32:49,540 --> 00:32:52,180
Oh, that's a big, juicy slice of irony.
689
00:32:52,920 --> 00:32:54,320
It's all like a damn old Henry story.
690
00:32:54,820 --> 00:32:55,880
Yeah, I guess it is.
691
00:32:56,240 --> 00:32:57,300
Ain't justice a bitch.
692
00:32:58,460 --> 00:32:59,460
Come on.
693
00:33:01,000 --> 00:33:03,620
Hey, guys, come on in. Please, come on
in. How you doing?
694
00:33:03,900 --> 00:33:04,759
Nice to see you.
695
00:33:04,760 --> 00:33:06,520
Hey, y 'all got your shoes. I see that's
great.
696
00:33:06,800 --> 00:33:09,300
Paul, listen, we set up all the food you
asked for. If there's anything else,
697
00:33:09,320 --> 00:33:10,320
just let me know.
698
00:33:10,420 --> 00:33:12,860
How about a little time alone with your
friend here?
699
00:33:13,100 --> 00:33:14,480
Ah, you just say the word.
700
00:33:14,800 --> 00:33:18,220
At his age, it's liable to kill him. I
can take the worst ways of going.
701
00:33:19,380 --> 00:33:20,380
Here.
702
00:33:21,260 --> 00:33:26,180
Now you can see how pretty we all were
when we were young. Can we go? It'll
703
00:33:26,180 --> 00:33:27,920
me two hours to change my shoes.
704
00:33:28,380 --> 00:33:29,400
Enjoy yourselves, guys.
705
00:33:29,640 --> 00:33:30,640
Give us a panel.
706
00:33:50,270 --> 00:33:53,870
There will come a day and youth will
pass away.
707
00:33:55,130 --> 00:33:57,090
What will they say about me?
708
00:33:57,530 --> 00:34:01,430
When the end comes, I know there's just
a triple dose.
709
00:34:02,150 --> 00:34:08,889
Life goes on without me. Cause I ain't
got
710
00:34:08,889 --> 00:34:09,889
nobody.
711
00:34:12,030 --> 00:34:16,750
Oh, and nobody cares for me.
712
00:34:27,280 --> 00:34:30,139
This place won't be here when we're all
there, will it? You don't know that for
713
00:34:30,139 --> 00:34:31,139
sure.
714
00:34:31,380 --> 00:34:32,380
Wow.
715
00:34:33,280 --> 00:34:34,760
Make sure they're thicker than the
teenagers.
716
00:34:35,440 --> 00:34:36,440
Oh, my God.
717
00:34:38,480 --> 00:34:39,480
That's it?
718
00:34:39,520 --> 00:34:40,520
It's what?
719
00:34:45,239 --> 00:34:46,239
Mr.
720
00:34:47,199 --> 00:34:49,020
Stevens, you are back.
721
00:34:50,120 --> 00:34:52,080
Yes, sir, I am. Now, I understand.
722
00:34:52,300 --> 00:34:53,800
The council told me that...
723
00:34:54,120 --> 00:34:56,560
The only way Stuckyball could achieve
landmark status was if it had
724
00:34:56,560 --> 00:34:59,480
architectural or historical
significance. It doesn't.
725
00:35:00,780 --> 00:35:03,740
It doesn't, but I'm here anyway because
Stuckyball is significant.
726
00:35:04,260 --> 00:35:05,260
It is significant.
727
00:35:05,500 --> 00:35:08,920
Significance has nothing to do with
flying buttresses, famous battles. It's
728
00:35:08,920 --> 00:35:11,840
significant because of one thing, and
one thing only.
729
00:35:13,520 --> 00:35:14,520
People.
730
00:35:35,760 --> 00:35:40,760
Every Friday night, we used to come bowl
in a league. We were the kingpins.
731
00:35:41,080 --> 00:35:44,500
I thought of the name. Of course, back
then, it wasn't Stucky Bowl.
732
00:35:44,760 --> 00:35:47,060
It was the Stuckyville Bolitorium.
733
00:35:47,700 --> 00:35:51,240
Later, it was bought by a wealthy guy
known as Fancy Larry.
734
00:35:51,600 --> 00:35:53,420
He renamed it Stucky Bowl.
735
00:35:53,840 --> 00:35:55,400
Fancy Larry invented chocolate.
736
00:35:55,780 --> 00:35:58,640
Every town's got a place where friends
get together.
737
00:35:59,080 --> 00:36:04,200
Could be a park, a cafe, or a street
corner. In Stuckyville, it just happens
738
00:36:04,200 --> 00:36:05,550
be... The Stucky Bowl.
739
00:36:07,050 --> 00:36:10,370
In St. Louis, it's a gentleman's club
out by the airport.
740
00:36:10,630 --> 00:36:13,150
They call it the Landing Strip. It's a
nice place.
741
00:36:13,730 --> 00:36:14,730
Anyway,
742
00:36:16,070 --> 00:36:21,850
every year on May 9th, all the kingpins
get together at Stucky Bowl to roll a
743
00:36:21,850 --> 00:36:22,850
few games.
744
00:36:33,050 --> 00:36:34,050
Come on.
745
00:36:48,140 --> 00:36:51,840
I would like to propose a toast to the
eternal life of the Stucky Bowl Bowling
746
00:36:51,840 --> 00:36:55,300
Center and to my sincere hope that 50
years from tonight, I'll be meeting you
747
00:36:55,300 --> 00:36:56,600
all right here for a midnight ball.
748
00:36:57,180 --> 00:36:58,180
Yeah!
749
00:37:00,420 --> 00:37:06,680
Now let's hit the land!
750
00:37:28,710 --> 00:37:31,270
Listen, it's me, okay? It's not you.
751
00:37:31,710 --> 00:37:35,710
Miles, I want you to know that I have
never thought of you as a charity case.
752
00:37:35,710 --> 00:37:39,970
know, I know. It's just tough sometimes
being the funny friend with the great
753
00:37:39,970 --> 00:37:40,970
personality.
754
00:37:41,370 --> 00:37:43,950
Yeah, but if you've ever been to the
movies, you will notice that the funny
755
00:37:43,950 --> 00:37:46,030
friend with the great personality always
gets the best guy.
756
00:37:47,090 --> 00:37:49,130
That's just so that people like me will
buy tickets.
757
00:37:49,690 --> 00:37:50,690
You should go out with him again.
758
00:37:51,450 --> 00:37:52,670
Don't let this stand in the way.
759
00:37:54,630 --> 00:37:55,509
Come on.
760
00:37:55,510 --> 00:37:56,510
Let's ball.
761
00:37:57,000 --> 00:38:00,040
I think tonight's the night I am going
to hit triple digits.
762
00:38:00,420 --> 00:38:02,000
You never hit triple digits. I am.
763
00:38:04,220 --> 00:38:04,780
The
764
00:38:04,780 --> 00:38:14,480
eyelids
765
00:38:14,480 --> 00:38:15,480
getting heavy.
766
00:38:18,220 --> 00:38:19,260
Hard to lift.
767
00:38:21,660 --> 00:38:23,600
The mind begins to wander.
768
00:38:24,380 --> 00:38:25,760
Things start to drip.
769
00:38:31,280 --> 00:38:32,280
to get in heaven.
770
00:38:34,540 --> 00:38:35,900
Hard to live.
771
00:38:38,040 --> 00:38:41,940
You think down a little deeper and
you're feeling wonderful.
772
00:38:43,020 --> 00:38:44,300
Feeling wonderful.
773
00:38:44,860 --> 00:38:47,440
Maybe you're falling in love.
774
00:38:49,020 --> 00:38:51,640
Maybe you're falling in love.
775
00:38:53,180 --> 00:38:58,840
Maybe you're falling, falling, falling,
falling, falling in love.
776
00:39:03,240 --> 00:39:04,240
You must think I'm silly.
777
00:39:04,560 --> 00:39:05,399
Why's that?
778
00:39:05,400 --> 00:39:06,400
Told me I'm like stuff.
779
00:39:06,940 --> 00:39:07,940
Think I'm nuts, right?
780
00:39:08,620 --> 00:39:10,260
No more nuts than usual, no.
781
00:39:11,540 --> 00:39:16,200
I don't know, I just... It makes me feel
good knowing this place is going to be
782
00:39:16,200 --> 00:39:17,200
here forever, that's all.
783
00:39:19,320 --> 00:39:20,320
Ed. Yeah?
784
00:39:21,360 --> 00:39:24,280
Do you really think we'll be seeing each
other here 50 years from tonight?
785
00:39:25,380 --> 00:39:26,380
You and me?
786
00:39:27,700 --> 00:39:28,700
Yeah.
787
00:39:29,920 --> 00:39:30,920
What do you think?
788
00:39:33,890 --> 00:39:37,130
Hey, guys. Hey, you got to see this.
Kenny's about to stop and ball in his
789
00:39:39,890 --> 00:39:41,710
There's something you don't see every
day.
790
00:39:42,750 --> 00:39:45,510
You want to go back down?
791
00:39:48,270 --> 00:39:49,470
Stay up here a few more minutes.
62806
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