Original subtitles

Hey. Hey.

Look, guess what I got behind my back.

Do I have to?

Oh, yeah.

Cello? No.

Oh, boy, what do you know? Where'd you find that? In the back.

I've been looking for this thing ever since I bought the place.

What is it?

It's my old lucky ball. It's his old fruity ball. I used to come here to bowl

with this thing when I was a kid.

That's sweet.

That is sweet. It is, it is. It's very sweet. Very sweet indeed that Ed Stevens

used to bowl with a woman's ball.

It's not a woman's ball.

Why, just because it's pink?

The engraving on the ball says Fran Jespersen. Fran, we agreed long ago. The

name Fran was gender ambiguous.

You are gender ambiguous.

Hey, Phil, what's going on?

Our young Lothario here has vowed to ask his paramour for her hand in marriage

if, and only if, he bowls a strike on his next ball.

Really? That is so romantic.

Ed, you know what you should do?

What? Lend him your ball.

You know, for a little lady luck.

Emphasis on lady.

Excuse me. Wait.

Excuse me. I'm Ed Stevens. I own Stucky Ball.

Hi, I'm Ari.

Nice lanes.

Appreciate that.

Look, this is my lucky ball.

So if you'd like to use it, it's all yours.

Yeah, cool.

Oh my God, he's really going to do it.

There's got to be some kind of joke.

Barbara, will you marry me?

In the sky tonight There I can keep by

your side Watching the world

Hey. Yeah.

We want to get married right here.

What? We want to get married right here at Stucky Bowl.

When?

This Saturday night.

And you're all invited.

You can't get married because you bowl a strike.

You can't get married because you bowl a strike.

Will you please agree with me?

I agree with you.

Okay, then.

Let me tell you a little something. To please a woman, one must employ a

skillful blend of tenderness and raw power.

Cheswick, it's been three weeks since you were up on that mountain with

Donatazi. I'm getting sick of hearing about it. Ah, Mark, my fine, virginous

friend. Jealousy doesn't suit you.

My guess is you didn't lay a hand on me.

Well, unfortunately, I'm too much of a gentleman to convey the details of my

interlude. Although, I will let on that I...

experimented with certain maneuvers heretofore attempted only in the

Yeah, one -man maneuvers. Once on HBO, I saw a woman who had a 90 -minute

orgasm.

What?

Oh, looky, looky. Who's your old friend now? I had a feeling we might run into

her here.

What, she didn't call you last night to tell you where she was going to be? It's

not that kind of relationship, okay? Now, you guys just try to act cool for

in your life, all right?

Hey, Donna. Hi.

She's probably still shuddering from the tenderness of your touch. Shut up.

Mr. Stevens.

Yeah.

Could you put these shoes in a safe place until the wedding?

Yeah.

So you guys are really thinking about going through with this, huh?

My boldest strike.

Yeah. It's fate.

Can't turn your back on fate.

Fate? Well, I mean, what if I...

But if I took this coin, I flipped it, and I said, if it comes up heads, then

you shouldn't get married.

Okay, but you know what I mean.

How old are you guys?

We're 22.

How long have you known one another?

Six months.

Yeah. Look, Ari, Barbara, I'm just a guy, okay?

Just a guy named Ed.

Just a guy named Ed happens to be a lawyer. Just a guy named Ed happens to

lawyer, happens to run a bowling alley, you know? Just a guy named Ed.

Ed. What?

Right. Don't do this.

Don't get married because you happen to bowl a strike, okay? Get married because

you spend a lot of time with one another. You've gotten to know one

married because you're absolutely positive that you're meant to spend the

of your life together. You get married because the thought of living without

another is absolutely unbearable. Get married for these reasons, okay? Not

because you bowled a strike.

Do you understand what I'm saying?

Yes.

Okay.

But you're forgetting something.

What's that?

I bowled a strike.

Excuse me.

Will you folks be needing a hopper?

Okay, before we finish up today, we need a new literary quote of the week for

our board.

Anyone?

Come on.

Anything based on any of the reading that we've done this year?

No.

Mr. Vanacore, how about you? You have yet to grace us with a quote of the

Mark?

Just do it.

Not exactly what I was looking for, but not bad under pressure.

In fact, the excellent lesson plan today is organized, concise, and you're

really starting to come into your own.

Thank you very much, Warren.

Yeah, so, listen, you know how I'm, like, I'm a great lover, right?

Pardon me? Well, I'm not saying that you know. I'm just saying that you probably

just assumed based on the way I comport myself.

I'm going to agree because I feel that that will make this conversation end

quickly. Right.

So, there's this girl.

Donna Tazi.

Whoa.

How do you do that?

You're like Kreskin or something. It's like I'm sitting here naked.

Boy, I'm not blind. I heard about your little weekend up on the mountain. Yeah,

well, I think I blew it with her.

Why's that?

The window closed on me, Miss Fessy.

The window?

Opportunity. The window of opportunity. I was up on the mountain, and it was

open, and I...

Shut up. I blew it.

Okay, you're going to have to give me a little more to go on here.

Well, what I'm trying to say is nothing happened.

It's like, we didn't even kiss or anything.

It's like, all we did was talk and stuff.

What's wrong with talking?

No, you don't understand.

Nothing, nothing's wrong with talking. Talking's great. I mean, but like, I

mean, after you talk, you got to like start kissing and stuff or else.

That's when the window closes.

You see? And once the window closes, that's it. It's never going to open up

again. I see. Yesterday I ran into her, and she just, like, dusted me.

She just, like, walked right by me. I was like, what's up?

Warren, did it ever occur to you that she's worried her window of opportunity

with you has closed?

Whoa.

Yeah. Ed Stevens?

Yeah.

Jamie Masters.

Hey.

Twizzler? No, thanks.

I'm good.

Can I help you with something, Mr. Masters?

I need to get a restraining order against my brother.

Oh, sure. Have a seat.

So, what seems to be the problem?

He's ruining my life.

How so?

Ed, I have a weight problem.

Oh, I mean, I don't... Come on, I'm a fat guy.

Okay. Now, I've been on every diet known to man.

Fiber bars, breakfast shakes, liquid protein, low carbs, high carbs. I've

it all.

Never any luck.

Well, losing weight can be difficult.

So, a couple of months ago, my doc tells me I'm one burrito away from exploding.

Really? He said that?

Not exactly.

I'm being colorful.

I see.

But I get his point.

You know, if I don't turn it around, it's bye -bye birdie.

How does this involve your brother?

Well, I'm upset.

So I go to my brother Steve and I give him carte blanche. Carte blanche.

I tell him that until I lose 30 pounds, he has carte blanche to do anything he

wants to stop me from eating badly.

What does that mean exactly?

I told him even if I change my mind, even if I beg him to leave me alone,

stop. My life's at stake.

Now, he has to do whatever he needs to do to prevent me from eating badly.

So why the restraining order? Well, the whole thing's gotten out of hand.

It started with a polite reminder, then... Oh, my God.

He followed me here.

Followed you here to see if you need a Twizzler?

He's got a baseball bat!

Quick for a big guy.

a very interesting job.

Excuse me.

Excuse me, Mr. Masters?

Steve Masters?

You're the guy from the bowling alley. Yeah, Ed Stevens.

I'm Brother Jamie's attorney, actually.

He got a lawyer? Yeah.

Why?

Because you smashed up his car, among other things. Look, I know Jamie asked

for help in losing weight, but I think you've taken things a little too far.

You've got to stop doing this stuff.

I got to stop doing this stuff?

Look, my brother's standing at a fork in the road.

Either he loses weight or he dies. And I'll tell you this, he's not dying on my

watch.

Okay, but do you think you can come up with something a little more productive

than humiliating him and destroying his property? Hey, he asked me to do this.

He made me promise to do this.

And I intend to live up to my promise.

No matter how good your intentions may be, what you're doing is still illegal

you don't stop.

I'm going to have to take you to court.

Illegal? Yeah.

I don't think it's illegal. Sure it is.

I have a signed contract from Jamie.

What? That's right.

I'd be happy to send you a copy.

Spells it all out in black and white.

Jamie has given me the legal right to do anything and everything to stop him

from overeating.

It stipulates the contract remains valid, even if he changes his mind.

How can you say that Jim Morrison was not a poet?

I didn't say that, Mark. I didn't say that. What I said was that when I assign

you to memorize a classic American poem, you can't just walk in here and recite

writers on the store.

Why not?

It's beautiful.

Okay, Lizard King, that's all for today.

Class dismissed.

Hey, Donna.

Hey, Donna. Yeah.

Hey, I was, I was, like, curious about something.

What's that? God. I just want to ask you a question. Let me bounce an idea off

you. Okay. Whenever you have the time.

Go ahead.

Oh, is now good? Because I, I could, we could set something up or... Okay, uh,

sorry. Okay, um, I was just thinking, if you have just... Hey, Warren. Oh, hey,

Jess. Hey.

Wow, uh, oh, Jess, this is, um, Donna.

Uh, Donna, Jessica. Yeah, we know each other.

Oh.

Linda told me you really did spend that weekend up on Mount Preston. Yes.

It's pretty cool.

Cool, yeah.

I suppose you could say it was cool. But, um, for me, the word that springs

mind is epiphanies.

What do you mean?

Jessica, as I stood atop that mountain with the majesty of God's creation at my

feet,

life's biggest questions suddenly made their answers known unto me.

Like what questions?

Like, who are you? I mean, I know you're Jessica Martel, but, like, who are you?

I don't know.

Exactly. Exactly. That's it. And I do know.

So, who are you? Who am I?

I'm Warren Cheswick. But not just Warren Cheswick.

I'm Warren Cheswick.

You know?

Well, that's awesome.

It was awesome. It was intense.

I got to go to French class.

Okay. I'll see you later.

Yeah, catch you later.

It's all right.

The window.

It is closed.

Mr.

Stevens, perhaps your client ought to explain what his brother has done to

necessitate this restraining order.

Oh, of course.

Go ahead, Jamie.

Thanks, Your Honor.

January 10th, I eat a Pop -Tart.

Steve flushes my best pair of dress socks down the toilet.

January 16th, I eat a slice of pizza.

Steve spray paints the words Captain Tubby on my front door.

January 21st, I consume a few too many individual servings of pudding, and

burns my entire collection of Jack London first editions.

Goodbye, call of the wild.

Adios, white fang! Please, lower your voice.

I'm sorry.

February 3rd. I take one bite out of a pound cake. One bite, so help me God,

Your Honor.

Steve calls the guy who works in the cubicle next to me, imitates my voice,

asks him out on a date.

February 9th. That's enough. Thank you, Mr.

Masters.

Have you exhausted all non -legal methods to stop your brother from

you?

I wouldn't be here if I hadn't.

All right.

I'm going to issue a restraining order, effective immediately.

Thanks, Your Honor.

Thank you.

Come on.

Hug the fat guy.

How are the wedding plans going?

All according to schedule. I wish I could talk some sense, you know.

When did you become the sworn enemy of crazy romantic spontaneity? I thought

that was your deal.

It is. I just want the both of them to wait.

Just until they're sure they're meant to be together. I don't want them to make

the same mistake I did.

Marrying Liz? Yeah.

How did you guys end up together anyway?

She was my dental hygienist.

We fell in love when she was showing me the proper flossing technique.

Seriously? No. I just didn't want to deprive you of the super cute meeting

story.

She was friends with Bruce Cahill, my last school roommate.

He set us up. The minute we laid eyes on one another, it was like...

Boom. Really?

Yeah, we had one of those first dates where we ended up staying up all night

staring into one another's eyes.

Four months later, we were engaged.

Four months?

Yeah. Wow.

I had no idea.

Yeah, it took another three years before we knew each other well enough to

realize we didn't belong together. I don't want these kids to make the same

mistake, that's all.

Look, I can see that you have a point, but what if you're wrong?

What if Barbara and Eric are actually perfect for each other and they're

supposed to live happily ever after?

If I'm wrong, they can wait a couple years and get married.

Yeah, but sometimes in relationships, there's this window of opportunity, and

you miss it... Hey, Jamie.

Jamie Masters, Calvesi.

Calvesi, Jamie Masters. Hi. Hi. Nice to meet you.

Ed, I can't thank you enough.

You gave me my life back.

See, there comes a point in time when you've got to realize you are what you

are. I'm overweight.

So what?

You know, there are worse things to be.

Please direct your attention to the giant fat guy in the blue windbreaker.

My God.

Would you look at him?

Does this look like a guy who needs to be pounding down hot dogs?

You can't do this. He's violating the restraining order.

You're violating the restraining order? Screw the restraining order!

Forget the restraining order.

I'm taking him to court. I want my car fixed. I want emotional damages. I want

it all.

I'm taking him to court. I'm taking him to court! Okay, calm down, Jamie. We'll

work this out.

Next question. Have you gotten your blood tests?

No. You're going to go to the clinic tomorrow.

Not necessary, my friend. I have an old summer camp buddy who can take care of

this for you.

What you're going to do is go down to the filling station at the corner of

Forbes and Murray.

Hey, guys.

Beat me.

Hey. Hi.

So, guys, we have the most perfect idea for our wedding. What's that?

My best man's going to be Colonel Sanders.

The chicken guy.

Isn't that an amazing idea?

Wow. I didn't think he did.

Yeah. No, no, you're thinking of Arthur Treacher.

Oh. Yeah.

Oh, my God.

Yeah. All right. Yeah.

I don't think I can do this. Do what?

Participate in this wedding. Why not?

You hear those kids out there?

Yeah? I want Colonel Sanders to be the best man.

Yeah. Colonel Sanders?

So? So, this is marriage we're talking about here. You know, taking the whole

thing serious enough. I mean, marriage, the union, the blessed union, the

sacrament, the man and the woman, the words of death do us part. Ring any

with you?

Yeah, I'm so confused. But when it comes to marriage, you don't throw a fanciful

restaurant mascot into the proceedings.

Ed. What?

This just doesn't sound like you.

I just don't want to sit idly by and watch these two kids gallop down the

towards misery. That's all.

Colonel stupid Sanders.

I think that you're missing the point here.

I'm missing the point? Yep. I'm missing the point. A little bit. How am I

missing the point? What do you think the point is? I think the point is it's not

a bad thing to want Colonel Sanders at your wedding.

It's a bad thing if only one of you wants to have Colonel Sanders at your

wedding.

Okay, they got me. I let down my guard, and they got me. I've decided to take

care of the catering FOC.

F -O -C.

Free of charge.

And if you repeat that, I will deny it. There are reasons why people in this

town need to think of Phil Stubbs as a soulless merchant of fear.

Oh.

Donna! Donna!

Yeah? Hey.

Look, uh, what I was gonna ask you before was, um, were you...

Here's the question.

Will I what?

Will you go out with me Saturday night?

Okay. Really?

Excellence. Oh, yes.

Okay.

Yeah. Saturday night.

Saturday night. Okay.

Maybe she said yes. Oh, hey, darling.

Just so we're clear on this.

When I say go out, I mean like on a date and not just as friends.

Yeah, I kind of figured.

Awesome. Because you see, my buddy Mark Vanacore, he's got a theory about

windows of opportunity.

And he was like, dude, your window's closed. And I was like, okay, son, look,

think you've been watching a little too much Mars Venus, you know?

What? Yeah, Mars Venus. It's the TV show that dumps Sybil Shepard. Remember?

You're starting to lose me here. Yeah, I am.

Eight o 'clock, Park Theater.

Okay. Okay. See you then.

Yeah.

Your Honor, my client Steve Masters is charged with violating a restraining

order that I believe should not be upheld. Why?

Because his so -called harassment of his brother Jamie comes at Jamie's own

request. Jamie asked Steve to sign a contract promising to do whatever it

to stop him from overeating. And I quote, no matter how much I protest.

You see, Your Honor, Jamie knew there would come a time when his will would

weaken. And he would want Steve to stop.

So now Steve follows his instructions not to stop.

And Jamie sues him.

Doesn't make any sense.

Mr. Stevens.

Your Honor, it's not the restraining order that's invalid.

It's the so -called contract.

When Jamie asked Steve to help him lose weight, he never imagined that Steve

would take things as far as he did.

Destruction of valuable personal property, public humiliation.

Surely the law cannot protect this type of behavior.

Thank you, Mr. Stevens.

We'll begin with witnesses tomorrow morning.

In the meantime, Mr. Masters, don't forget that there's still a restraining

order with your name on it.

Yes, Your Honor.

Should I get the kind for sensitive skin or the kind for super sensitive skin?

Since when do you need to shave?

Kevin, you haven't even hit puberty yet.

You look like a newborn brine shrimp.

Hey, Warren.

Hey, don't forget these.

Whoa, whoa.

Mark, I'm not going to need condoms.

I'm just going to the movies.

Besides, my mom shops here, so can you get rid of those?

These are the kind that Jeff Goldblum uses.

The Reddit Nesquire.

I think we can.

I need a

price check over here.

How are you? No.

How much is the ultra -shave gel?

It's cheap.

Steve, Mr. Samuels.

Hey, Lewis.

Mr.

Stevens, what is the purpose of this meeting?

My client wishes to settle this case.

No way, no how.

Steve, you should listen to what we have to say. I can guarantee you're not

going to win in court.

We're brothers.

We don't belong in a court of law.

How crazy is this?

Look, I'm willing to forget about the money and the damages if you'll just

to stop harassing me.

You can't win, Steve.

There's no way the judge will uphold this contract.

Will you boys excuse us for a moment? I need to talk to my brother.

He's right.

I'm probably going to lose in court.

But lucky for me, we ain't going back to court.

What do you mean?

I bought myself a little insurance policy.

A 30 -second commercial on tomorrow night's local news.

If you don't drop this case and let me keep helping you lose weight, the whole

town's going to see this.

What is it?

I'll see you later, Jamie.

Bill?

Do you have a VCR in your office?

What?

You sure you don't want to watch this yourself?

No. You're my lawyer.

Plus, I don't have any skeletons in the closet.

I got ringdings in the pantry, but no skeletons in the closet.

My house.

It's me.

Hi.

Yeah.

This is Jamie Masters.

If you see him on the street, call him a fat pig.

He's going to run this on TV?

Thank you. If he does that, we'll sue him.

We're already suing him.

If he runs this on TV, I'll be the laughing stock of the community. We've

drop the case.

We can't do that, Jamie. This is blackmail. If you let him get away with

it'll just get worse. Trust me, we'll deal with this in court.

Now we really need to start focusing on party favors. You know, little keepsake,

knick -knack for your guests to take home.

Oh, I don't think we need that.

Of course you do. Now, my cousin Gilles can engrave absolutely anything.

He once put a bride's initials on a cocker spaniel's ass.

The man's an artist, and I will give him a holler.

Hi, guys. Hi.

Hey, Barbara. Hi there. Hey, Ari.

Guys,

we've got some bad news.

What's that?

Colonel Sanders can't be our best man.

No. Really?

He died in 1980.

Oh, gosh.

They sent us a coupon for free honey barbecue wings.

Hey, look, you guys.

No.

I don't mean to sound like a broken record on the subject, but I'm just not

certain you're taking this whole thing seriously enough.

Sure, Ed. We could hold off for a while.

Maybe in a way that's the wise thing to do.

But I feel like for whatever reason...

We've been given this magic moment, and I don't want to just sit around being

wise until that moment passes.

Yeah, but if the magic were to pass that quickly, then maybe you shouldn't be

getting married.

I think you're making my point.

Look, Ed, if you want us to have our wedding somewhere else, just tell us.

Look, Ari, it's not that I want you to get married somewhere else. Don't be

ridiculous.

Don't be ridiculous. Of course you're getting married here, and you know what?

It's going to be the greatest bowling alley wedding ever.

Thanks, guys.

Here we go.

All right, take it easy. Fine, now, what are you doing?

If they're going to get married, they may as well get married here.

Carol, what chance do you really think this has of working out?

About as good a chance as any marriage. Maybe better.

Look at them.

Oh.

Yeah, I know, but I just think that they should... Maybe it'll work out. Maybe

it won't. Who knows? Things go wrong for all kinds of reasons.

But who are we to stand in the way of... Something that is so obviously meant to

be.

Well, I don't think they should split up. I just think they should wait.

Yeah, well, waiting has its own set of problems.

What if they start thinking too much? What if they start second -guessing

everything?

There is such a thing as being too cautious, isn't there?

Mr. Masters.

When your brother first came to you with this crazy contract... Objection.

We don't think it's crazy, and we think it's a contract, not a contract.

Sustained. What did your brother say to mine?

Upset? Confused?

Yeah, he was upset.

He tried every diet known to mankind and failed.

He even tried that guy Jared's thing from Subway, but he didn't have any

so he came to me for help. He came to you for help, and you proceeded to spend

the next few months humiliating him and destroying his property.

That's what he asked me to do.

That's what he asked you to do?

Really? I see. So he asked you to smash his car with a baseball bat.

He asked you to follow him around with a loudspeaker. He asked you to videotape

him eating without his shirt on in the privacy of his own home and threatened

put it on the local news. He asked you to do all these things?

Well, not those things exactly, but he... But what, Mr. Masters? You and I

know that when your brother Jamie came to you for help, he did not plan on any

of this happening. Am I right? I don't know. You don't know?

Nothing further.

Did you, in fact, do all those things to your brother?

Yes.

Why?

His cholesterol is 450.

His triglycerides are over 300.

He's a borderline diabetic.

If he continues to eat the way he's eating, my brother will die.

Stephen Masters, I believe that you care very deeply about your brother.

In some circles, your actions could be considered noble.

Unfortunately, the law is not one of those circles.

As Mr. Stevens has argued, the agreement between the two of you does not

constitute a binding contract.

Therefore, this court rules that you must stop harassing your brother

immediately. However, because of your good intentions, I'm dropping any claim

for damages against you.

This time.

Dismissed.

Yeah, do you enjoy going to the cinema?

Yes, Warren, I enjoy going to the cinema.

Me too.

I also like going to the movies.

Warren,

you don't need to be nervous around me.

Okay.

Hello, welcome to Park Theater. What can I get for you today?

Two medium sodas and two small popcorns, please.

This is a small.

It's a small?

It's tiny.

Okay, well, we'll take two mediums then.

For a dollar less, you get the large.

All right, we'll have the large popcorn and two medium sodas then. You've got to

make one of the sodas a large to get the combo.

Okay, like...

We can't eat that much popcorn and drink that much soda. You understand that?

For the love of God, no one can.

You see these two containers right here?

Yeah. These right here represent your best value.

If you want to buy 32 of these little guys, be my guest.

Go ahead.

I'm just trying to protect you from yourself.

Do you even want popcorn?

No, okay, we'll take this. Whatever, here, just take this.

Thanks.

All right, you go ahead.

Thanks. I think Jessica Martel likes you, you know. What?

No way. No, I'm serious.

I saw the way she's looking at you during group project. No way.

Really? No.

No, I'm telling you.

I'm not here with Jessica Martel. I'm here with Donna Tassi.

You know, Donna, a woman is like a flower.

You have to feed her and water her or else... Ah!

Oh, God.

Oh, man.

I'm fine, I'm fine. Oh, it's cool, it's cool.

A sneaker caught in the escalator.

A foot caught in the escalator.

Excuse me.

Excuse me, could you make it stop?

Okay, okay, okay, don't move, okay? Don't go anywhere!

All right.

If you tell the manager to turn off, the escalator has my...

I'm going to eat my foot.

That's cool, though. That's cool.

Hey, have a good night.

Let's just try the escalator.

We come here today to honor Barbara and Ari in this blessed event.

Hold on, hold on.

Heck, you can't have a wedding.

We're not a best man.

Thanks, Ed.

You guys screw this marriage up, I'll have to hunt you down and kill you.

We won't.

I know you won't.

I had a really great time tonight.

Really? I mean, cool.

Yeah, cool.

Me too.

Any date that involves the jaws of life can't be that bad, right?

Unless you were in a car accident.

Cool.

Warren, how come you never kissed me on top of Mount Perth?

Oh, that's a great question.

Really, I just... I don't know. I was looking for a sign or something, you

like a signal.

I just figured you weren't interested in me.

What? No, no, no, no. That's crazy.

I'm very interested in you. I possess a great level of interest in

you.

You just needed a signal?

Yeah, you know, because then, like...

I thought... I thought I missed my window of opportunity, because you and I

never, like, you know, kissed up there or anything, so I figured it was over

we'd just be friends and stuff.

You just needed a signal?

Yeah, like... Just, like, a look or a tap on the shoulder that

said, Hey, Warren, now's a good time to kiss me, or, like, something like that.

Thank you.

Call me unpredictable.

Tell me I'm impractical.

Rainbows I'm inclined to pursue.

Call me irresponsible.

To the bride and groom, may your love and happiness last a lifetime.

Yes, sir!

I'm responsibly mad for you.

You know, you really should consider keeping Stuckyball open for weddings

often. I don't know.

One may be enough that many people want to get married in a bowling alley.

You think?

That's sort of nice.

Matter of fact, when I get married...

I'm considering doing it right here at the old ducky ball. Yeah, no problem.

know, as long as it's not league night.

I think those kids were really involved.

Yeah, so do I.

Then again, who knows? Kids, it's all just one big crapshoot anyway.

Yeah, I guess you're right. I mean, you can only be so sure, you know, and then

you've got to take the plunge, let the chips fall where they may.

I think I just used two clichés in the same sentence.

Does this mean you're coming around on fate?

Fate?

I'm a big believer in fate.

In fact, if I bowl a strike, I'm going to ask you to marry

me. If that's so.

Mm -hmm.

What's that?

That's me moving to the edge of my seat.

You're going to give me a chance to pick up the spare.

What's that going to get you?

One night of unbridled lovemaking.

Oh, dream on.

Dream on.

Come on. It's fate.

It's fate. I mean, I don't even want to, but it's fate. There's nothing we can

do. You don't even want to. I don't want to. You are messing with the pink dots

here, and I will not be party to it.