Original subtitles

Please, please, please don't sing happy birthday. I just don't know what to do

with myself while everybody's singing. All right, just relax. We won't sing.

Thank you. Happy birthday to you.

Happy birthday to you.

You look like a monkey.

Happy birthday to you.

And many more.

Aw, thank you, Sarah.

Make a wish, make a wish, young lady.

Okay.

Okay, I got it. You got it?

Okay, if you insist.

Ed. What, didn't you wish for a deep, long, soulful kiss from Edward J.

Yeah, you're a regular mind reader.

Happy birthday. Thank you.

Hey.

Thank you. Thank you very much.

Thanks, Mom.

Oh, my God.

I love you.

Oh,

what have we here?

Oh. Oh, my.

You like them?

Yeah. Yeah, I do. Does this mean you bought a skating rink?

Skating rink?

Yeah, because that time you gave me a bowling ball.

I bought a bowling house.

Very nice, very nice. They're beautiful, really, but the thing is I don't know

how to skate.

I'll teach you.

You will?

Oh, yeah.

By the time I'm done with you, you'll be twirling around the rink like Dick

Button.

Okay, you're on.

How's tomorrow sound?

That sounds great.

Michael, what are you doing?

Introducing my firstborn daughter to aerosol whipped cream. One of the finest

pleasures life has to offer.

Oh, God.

Hey, Phil, I have to go down and see Bonnie Hanna by the parking meter. What

you got here? Only positive attitudes allowed. Very nice. Yeah, it's part of

new managerial strategy I'm using to get the most out of the Stucky Bowl staff.

What's the strategy?

I call it inspirationology, a humanistic philosophy of personnel management, the

central tenet of which is this.

A job well done is its own reward. You on board with that?

Yeah, sure.

Fantastic. I'm assigning a night each to Kenny, Shirley, and myself. The goal,

bring in as many bowlers as possible. The incentive, a...

Fabulous prize awarded by you. Any one of these should do.

Gucci watch.

Vacation home abilities. A helicopter.

The kind that lands on water.

How about a $10 gift certificate to Chuck E. Cheese? Fifteen. Done. Phil

master negotiator.

What happened to that tenant about a job well done is its own reward, anyway?

You poor naive son of a bitch. Right.

Hey, Stevens.

That's me. Gary Schwertlock. I'm a friend of your father's. Sold him his

insurance. Hi.

Can we talk?

I've been selling insurance at Stuckyville Mutual for about 15 years.

About six months ago, my old boss, Jack Rispoli, retired and brought his son,

Tommy, in to run the place.

The kid's gone nuts.

Why? What happened?

I better start with the fish.

Casey, the catfish.

Yeah, Tommy's got one just like it in his office. Push the button.

Okay? You fell for that hook line at the sinker. Hey, that's great.

Hey, you, go fish.

Yeah, I love it.

Ride those fish, girl.

Ride those fish.

Oh, right enough.

Sorry, okay.

So, yesterday, Tommy comes in and he says he's not satisfied with the

performance of the sales department.

He's going to line us all up and make each one of us push the button.

If the fish sings, you keep your job. If not...

You're gaspingto.

Gaspingto? Fired.

Wow. Wait a minute, I haven't heard this fish sing yet. Well, it only happens

about once every five times.

Listen, Ed, I can't afford to lose my job. I've got a wife and three kids at

home.

Can you stop this from happening?

Do you have an employment contract?

No, is that important?

Well, what I'm about to tell you might find surprising, Gary, but in this

country, as long as it's not about race, age, or sex, then a boss can fire an

employee without any explanation.

Which makes it impossible for us to win this case. But it's wrong what he's

doing. I know.

I know.

Let me see what I can do. I have another piece of business to wrap up first, but

then I'm all yours.

Thank you. You're welcome.

Send him in, please.

Well, looks like somebody's got a little crush.

Excuse me?

He wanted to see me so badly, you couldn't even wait until the hearing

afternoon? No, actually, I was hoping you would come to your senses.

Look, we are talking about a guy who puts dimes in parking meters to help

drop the appeal.

Ed, don't even try.

Look, the judge ruled in your favor. He ordered Mr. Schaefer to stop. You fined

him $500. You won, Bonnie. Yes, yes, but I didn't win enough.

That's great.

I've got a new client who needs my help. I'm still stuck in this stupid parking

meter case. You are really starting to get on my nerves.

Just starting?

I thought I'd make more progress than that.

Okay,

fine. You want to fight? You want to fight? You've got to fight. Don King

sell tickets at this hearing, because it is going to be the thriller in

Stuckyville. The what?

You heard me. It was very clever. Goodbye.

Hi! Hello, Mrs. Burton. Please come...

This is Sarah.

Oh, she's beautiful.

Hello, Sarah.

Can you say hi?

Sweet, darling beauty.

Well, I think we're off to a very good start.

Is there any way I can help today while you are at work?

Laundry? Vacuum? Oh, Carmela, that's so sweet, but you're really just here to

take care of Sarah. Hey, this must be the great new nanny I've heard so much

about. Mike, stop.

You're embarrassing her.

Don't worry about it, Carmela. He's just a big old dope.

She's right. I'm just a big old dope.

Welcome to the family.

Wow. What was that about?

I think he intimidated her or something. How?

I don't know.

Speak very loudly.

Yeah, that's my trademark, honey. People love that.

Excuse me, Ed. Oh, Gary, hi. Listen, now's not a good time. But we gotta get

started. I just found out the fish sings tomorrow.

The fish sings tomorrow.

I got it.

Godfather III, right?

Look, don't worry about that. I'll be there for you tomorrow. I just have to

take care of this first, okay?

Okay.

Hold on.

Kenny, no more interruptions. Right!

Except perhaps for Carol.

Sorry, Chief.

Hey, Carol.

Hi.

Something tells me now is a bad time for a skating lesson.

Yeah, sorry. I have to get ready for court.

Let me guess, Bonnie Haynes? Yeah, afraid so. How does Saturday sound?

Saturday? Saturday sounds good. I'll just, um...

Get myself one of those Dorothy Hamill haircuts.

Okay. See you Saturday.

Bye.

Stuff on the fire table. That's mine.

Thanks. I alphabetize all of these. I start it with A and end it with Z.

Good choice, Kenny.

All right. Battle grip.

Thanks, you guys. You can go.

We're rooting for you, Chief. Thank you, Kenny. Good luck. Thank you, Shirley.

Phil, I'm not going to tip you.

Moscow, I just wanted some skin.

Oh.

Case number JGB 114, the people versus Hal Schaefer.

Where's Miss Hayne? Right here, Your Honor.

I'd like to drop the appeal at this time.

What? Miss Hayne.

Your Honor, the people do not wish to pursue this matter any further.

I'd like to apologize if I've inconvenienced anyone.

Very well, then.

Moving on, case number AHB 724.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

Ed, how are you doing? I'm good. Can I ask you a super simple question? Sure.

What the heck is wrong with you? Ed, I dropped your little parking meter case.

You should be happy.

Now you can put more focus on the bowling aspect of your job.

Now let me ask you a question.

Which do you think you'd remember more?

Me picking that folder up for you or me just walking away?

You're unlike any other human being I've ever met in my life.

Now we're getting somewhere.

Ladies and gentlemen, it's fish time.

Who are you?

I'm Ed Stevens, Gary Schwartlock's attorney.

You're here to root for him. How sweet.

No, Mr. Rispoli, I'm here to ask that you go no further with this. We do not

want to have to take legal action.

Okay.

Who's first?

Look, this is not right. These people depend on you and this company for their

livelihood. Why are you treating them this way? Mr. Stevens, let me explain

world according to Tom Rispoli.

You look around and see butchers and bakers and candlestick makers.

Okay, maybe not tons of candlestick makers, but... I see only one thing,

prospective clients.

I see you, I'm going to sell you. And if I get into your home, you're going to

buy. Now, the people around this table have become soft.

They're not getting it done.

Then how about a pep talk, Mr. Spauly?

Or how about sending them on one of those weekend retreats when they run

naked in the woods for a few days?

Gary, let me ask you a question. At any point since you've met him, have you

tried to sell Mr.

Stevens any life insurance?

I figured as much.

Okay, let's get started.

Steve!

Approach the fish.

I'm 62 years old. I don't want to approach a fish.

You can do it, Stevie. You can do it.

You want a deer hunter? Anyone?

All right, whatever.

Steve, make the fish sing or you're fired.

All right, who's next?

Godfrey.

Approach the fish.

Come on, baby.

Little Joe from Kokomo.

Now we're going to buy you a brand new pair of shoes.

One time, one time.

Something smells fishy.

I hate to see that.

Bye, Godfrey.

Okay, Gary.

Approach the fish.

Gary, has your attorney advised you not to approach the fish?

I think it might be ready to sing.

Tick -tock, tick -tock, Gary.

Approach the fish, or approach the personnel office.

Gary, what have I got to lose?

And you look like a guy out of a job.

Mrs. Foley, we're going to sue. Gary, let's go.

Martha, approach the fish.

So, where's your buddy Ed?

Be here any minute.

Hey, Mike, do one of those bets with me like you're always doing with Ed.

No can do, Molly. It's a time -honored tradition strictly between me and Ed.

We don't need him.

Balls.

Ten bucks if you call the waitress.

Fancy pants.

That's all you got?

Ten bucks, Ed.

Bring me a sandwich, fancy pants.

That is so funny, Ed.

You guys are making a travesty of my life.

Appreciate that.

There's Ed.

You and I are now officially one -on -one in the courtroom.

What? You won the case, I won the appeal.

No, no, no, no. I gave you the appeal.

You got scared off by my folders.

You didn't scare me off with your folders. I had a more important place I

be. You hate to lose, don't you? When I lose, yes, this wasn't losing.

Whatever helps you sleep.

Would you like to have a drink with me Friday night?

Oh, God, I think I've killed him.

Yeah, I'll have a drink with you.

Are you sure?

Not really.

Great. Pick me up at nine.

Hey. Hey.

Well, it's pretty hot and heavy out there with Miss Bonnie Haynes.

I wonder what the soup is.

I've seen this before.

Sparks in the courtroom, sparks in the bedroom.

Trust me, both the bedroom and the courtroom are 100 % spark -free.

Hey, Eddie. Yeah? Ten bucks if you call the waitress fancy pants.

Really?

That's lame.

What exactly am I looking at here? My way of bringing in customers. I call it

miniature bowling.

I'm still working out the kinks. No, it's good. Very innovative.

You'll get rid of it, right? Right away.

Carmela, thank you so much for folding the laundry.

That was really unnecessary.

It was my pleasure, Mrs. Burton. Let me just get your check, okay?

Thank you.

Can I help you with something, Carmela?

No, Dr. Burton.

I was just noticing this.

It's a wonderful catalog.

Yeah.

Will you excuse me?

You're going to think I'm crazy, but I think Carmela has a crush on me.

I'm on my way to court. What you got there, I'm sure?

It's a karaoke machine.

I believe that singing in public gives people enormous pleasure.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's true. That's great. You know, surely that might just work.

It will work.

And stop calling me Shirley.

Airplane, right? It's a great movie.

I don't know what you're talking about.

Okay.

Hey, how about you, Phil? What's your idea for the bowling alley? Okay, here

is. This Friday night, all of Stuckyville will be able to come here.

and meet the gang from Happy Days.

Okay, Phil, that's no good. No good?

You've been smoking the wacky tobacco?

Henry Winkler, Anson Williams, Donnie Most, Ron Howard, Marion Ross, Tom

Dude, these people are cultural icons.

This place will be packed tighter than a Brazilian soccer stadium.

Except, Phil, you and I know the cast of Happy Days will not be here. Why?

Because you are Phil, and this is simply another one of your ideas that will

never work. I challenge you to name one of my ideas that hasn't worked.

Steaks, salt shakers, ducky bowl commerce, a bowling sensei, fine

turkeys, and ShaveMyPoodle .com.

Wow.

You and I remember those things very differently.

Mr. Rispoli, why'd you fire Gary Swerdlock?

Because he didn't make the fish sing. He didn't make the fish sing, that's

right. And as far as law's concerned, that's reason enough, isn't it? As long

it's not racism, ageism, sexism, you're in the clear, aren't you?

Yes, I am. Except for one thing. You didn't just fire Gary Swerdlock. You

him stand up in front of his co -workers and humiliate himself, and that, Mr.

Rispoli, is something we lawyers like to call intentional infliction of

emotional distress.

Mm -hmm.

Nothing further this time.

Mr. Spivey?

Mr. Rispoli, did Gary Swerdlock have any kind of... What are you doing here?

This case sounded interesting.

I wanted to come see you screw it up.

Fine. Well, today's your lucky day because all I've got is intentional

infliction of emotional distress. Pretty tough to prove. Yeah, it's a reach.

I know. Calling Thomas Burley's dad as a witness?

Yeah, why?

It's a huge mistake.

No, it isn't. Oh, he's the defendant's dad. I know who he is.

Mr. Stevens, may I suggest you argue one case at a time?

Sorry, Your Honor.

Emotional distress, was it? No, my goal was to motivate my sales staff. Look, I

knew they weren't going to enjoy it, but there's no law that says that

management techniques have to be pleasant.

No, is there?

No.

There isn't.

The defendant's dad is not going to cooperate with you. Well, I think he

Are you kidding me? I think he might. I did some research, and it turns out when

the guy ran the company, he was a really good guy. It doesn't make a difference.

He's still his dad. I know who he is.

I'm sorry, Your Honor.

I'll warn my colleague about her unruly outbursts.

No more unruly outbursts.

Mr. Stevens, we're waiting. It's your turn.

Right. Oh, yeah.

I'd like to call Jack Rispoli to the stand.

Now, Mr. Rispoli, you ran Stuckyville Mutual for 53 years before your son

took over. Things a little different back then?

Oh, yeah. Times have changed.

I'll say. You didn't really run Stuckyville Mutual quite the way your

does. No, we have different styles.

Yeah, you do.

In fact, when my client, Mr. Swerdlock, was looking for money for a down payment

on his first home 18 years ago, where did he get that money?

The company lent him money.

What was the interest on that loan?

It was an interest -free loan.

That's nice.

That's nice. In fact, you were always doing things like that for your

back then, weren't you, Mr. Swerdlock?

Well, they're hard -working people. We try to help from time to time.

Ever fire anyone by having them try to make a fish sing?

Objection, Your Honor. The singing fish hadn't yet been invented.

Withdrawn.

Mr. Rispoli, I only have one more question for you, and it's this.

Between us, guy to guy, tell me if you think what your son Tommy did was right.

Mr. Rispoli?

Yes, it's right.

100 % right.

Excuse me?

When you're a boss, you've got to think of the whole, not the individual.

I might have motivated my people by offering them an interest -free loan.

My boy Tommy?

He motivates them by threatening to fire them. Same thing.

If you're a good employee, you get a free loan.

But you don't have to press the fish.

Between us, got a guy?

I'm proud of him.

Nothing further.

See if you can unscramble this sentence.

Grand control to Major Tom.

Grand control to Major Tom.

Take your protein pill and put your hammer on.

Only one person showed up for karaoke night? Yes, and poor Shirley is taking

awfully hard, okay? Treat her nice.

And the cast of Happy Days, how's that coming? I've got Henry and Donnie, Tom,

Marion, Ronnie's and maybe, and Anson.

Anson is really buffing my chops. Look, Phil, here's the thing. When you tell

people that the cast of Happy Days will be here, then when the cast of Happy

Days is not here, those people will be very upset. Hey, chicken little, relax.

The sky is not falling. The cast of Happy Days will be here.

Did you call Ron Howard Ronnie?

So, you haven't given me your official take on the big date.

What? What big date?

What?

You know about the big date. I don't know about the big date. Ed didn't tell

about the big date?

No. No. Molly.

When we were having lunch today and Ed was talking to Bonnie Hane outside the

pie shop, she asked him out on a date and he said yes.

And then he just came back inside like nothing ever happened. Why would he do

something like that?

Well, I don't know. I mean, maybe he felt weird about it.

I'm sorry. I thought you knew.

Oh, no. It's no big deal to me.

Ed can do whatever he wants.

Free man, free country.

To all the girls I have loved before Who traveled

in and out my door

How long do you think karaoke night would last?

The flyer said 8 o 'clock p .m. till question mark.

All good party invitations say till question mark.

Because then the people think that the party will be so much fun that it might

just keep right on going forever.

Whereas if you tell them a set time, say like till 11 p .m., they know the fun

is going to come to an end at a specified time. Are you going to fire

What? Fire you? Oh, surely. Listen, karaoke night was a good idea.

Just... Didn't work out.

Everything's okay.

Hey, Carol.

Hello, Ed.

Hi, Shirley.

How, Tim?

You want to sing Ebony and Ivory with me?

Do you have a minute?

Sure.

Well, Ed, where should I begin?

From the sound of that, maybe you should start at the end.

Molly tells me that you're going out on a date with our favorite district

attorney.

Yes. Yes,

I am. And I'm sorry, but you and I, we agreed to be just friends, at least for

right now, so I figured I have the right to go on a date, as do you. But, I

mean, I don't want you to be upset about this. We can talk this through.

Oh, my God.

What? In your own dweeby little way, you are a bigger pompous jackass than Nick

Stanton ever was. At least with Nick, you could see it coming.

I'm... What are you talking about? How am I a pompous jackass? I'm being a nice

guy. I'm helping you through a difficult situation.

Helping me through a difficult situation?

Uh -huh. You're so presumptuous.

You actually assume that I'm so fragile and so desperately and secretly in love

with you that you can't possibly tell me about a stupid date?

Is that what this is about, me not telling you?

No. What this is about is you being a pompous jackass is what this is about. I

think we covered that already. You walk back into the pie shop having just

agreed to go out on a date with Bonnie whatever her name is. Jane.

And everyone's asking you all about her, and you don't say one word about the

date.

You're jealous.

What? I think you're jealous.

Okay,

I'm out of here.

Hey, I'm just calling him as I see him, Carol, and I see you're jealous.

You don't get it, do you?

I am not jealous, and that's the whole point.

But by not telling me, you never gave me a chance to be not jealous.

Instead, you assumed I would be jealous.

When in actual fact, I never was even vaguely remotely jealous. I'm out of

Hold on. Hold on a minute here.

Hold on a second. I asked you out what? I don't know, a couple of dozen times.

Remember, you're the one who decided we should just be friends. We both decided

that. Fine, we both decided. So now we're friends. I'm having drinks with

woman I don't want to tell you about because I don't want to hurt your

Next thing I know, you're calling me a pompous jackass. No, thank you. You

violated our friendship.

I violated our friendship? You violated our friendship. How? I don't know.

Just leave me alone.

You got it.

We're living together.

I don't even know why I'm going out with this girl.

All she ever does is irritate me. You're going out with this girl because she's

hot, Ed.

Call it a while.

Thank you, my unbreakable.

Hey, when you're out having drinks with Bonnie tonight?

Yeah. Ten bucks, you order yourself... Mike, no, Mike, no, no. Don't say it.

Don't even say it. I don't want to hear it.

All right, I'll let you off the hook.

Thank you.

Ten bucks, you order yourself a Shirley Temple.

You're a bad man.

You don't have to do it on the street. The street's got to end at some point.

Bad man.

Shirley Temple.

Oh, Mr. Stevens.

Hmm.

How can I help you, gentlemen?

Well, you called a meeting.

No, I don't believe I did, Gary. Did you call for a meeting with these

gentlemen? I thought you did.

I called the meeting.

Let's face it, boys.

There's no way you're going to win this thing.

So here's what's going to happen.

You're going to drop the case. Dad, let me handle this. And you are going to

give these three their jobs back.

and apologize for behaving like a horse's ass.

Dad. Don't interrupt me. I still own 51 % of the company.

What about what you said in court?

This is my boy.

I'm not going to sell him down the river in court.

And if you put me on a stand tomorrow, I'll do the same thing.

I see.

Well, it's your call, Gary, but my recommendation is to take it.

Thank you, Jack.

Good to have you back. Thanks.

Well, the case has dropped. We're done here.

Almost done.

Son, ever since you've been running the business, I haven't been happy with your

numbers. So, in order to motivate you, go on ahead and make the fish sing.

What? I'm giving you one press, and if the fish doesn't sing, you can say

goodbye to your stock options, your corner office, and I'm guessing to that

digger wife of yours, Melinda.

Come on, Dad.

You can't do this to me. Why not? You did it to them.

Press the fish tom or I'll fire you right now.

Thank God.

Okay, now we're done.

You're welcome.

License.

That jam this morning.

Only sings.

I figured it was a good way to scare the bejesus out of my son.

Carmela, thanks for staying and having dinner with us tonight.

Oh, the meal was delicioso.

I am a big fan of the casserole.

Oh, I think I'm just going to go on upstairs and check on Sarah.

Carmela, I'd like to, if I could, to talk to you about something.

Yes, Dr. Barton?

Well, we're very happy with your work here.

But there is one thing I feel I need to ask you about.

Well, I couldn't help but noticing...

over these past few days, that perhaps it's possible that...

Well, you seem to stare at me quite a bit, Carmela.

I'm sorry, Dr. Burton.

No one ever told me to avoid eye contact with you and Mrs. Burton.

My cousin Riva works for George Scott, and he has the same policy.

I'm sorry, it won't happen again.

No, no, no, Carmela, it's okay to make eye contact with me. It's not about eye

contact.

See, Carmela, you're allowed to look at me.

Okay, Dr.

Barton.

Please look at me.

Man, I'm going to need some help in here.

I have a question.

What on earth made you ask me out for a drink?

What on earth made you say yes? It's not polite to answer a question with a

question. But as you well know, Counselor, sometimes a question is an

What can I get for you two?

I would like a Cosmopolitan, please.

And for you, sir?

Yes. I, for a drink, what should I have? What should I have? What should I have?

So many different libations to choose from, so I found myself at a bit of a

loss. I'll have a Shirley Temple.

Did you say a Shirley Temple?

Yep. You know, Shirley Temple. Did you just order a Shirley Temple? Yes.

Yes, I did. That's just ginger ale grenadine and a cherry. I know. That's

real drink. I know. You know what would be great is if we stopped talking about

the Shirley Temple and we just brought it to me, please.

Right. Thank you.

You are one weird dude, Ed Stevens.

I wish I could explain to you what just happened there, but a higher law

prohibits it.

Carmilla, my husband thinks that you have a little crush on him.

That you find him attractive.

I know he's being silly, but I think he needs to hear from you that this is just

one big miscommunication.

That I find Dr.

Burton attractive?

Yes.

Do you?

No.

Okay. I'll just clear the table. Come on, Carmel. The stolen looks, the

glances, the longing gazes. I mean... You think that I stare because I love

Well, no. Not love, necessarily.

No, Dr. Burton, no.

I stared at you because you look just like a man I knew from a long time ago.

He work as a butcher.

Oh, right.

You could be twins.

Both have large forehead.

Okay.

Oh, Dr.

Burton, so big and beautiful.

Carmela cannot resist.

Okay, Carmela.

Being so big and so beautiful.

I'm going to be telling this story until the day I die.

So I chucked it off.

Bought a bowling alley, opened my own law practice. Here I am.

Wow. That's the word I used to describe it.

Anyway, that's my life story.

Fill me in on the life and times of Bonnie Hayne.

What do you want to know?

Did you ever kill a guy?

You ever date a rock star? You ever swim the English Channel to save for the

Dead Sea Scrolls? Any of these?

None of the above.

Something tells me you don't like talking about yourself.

I have this little rule of one tediously dull life story per date.

All right, what is with you? You insult me all day in court, and then you invite

me here for a drink to what? Insult me by candlelight? Why?

I like you.

Well, is this how you treat the people you like?

Well, what do you want, a gold star on your forehead? That'd be nice.

I would like to hear the tediously dull life story of Monty Hame.

Has anybody ever told you you remind them of Jon Stewart?

Yes. But I think it's the hair. Well, no, you shouldn't be defensive about it.

Jon Stewart's really cute.

All right.

Fine. And with that flattering and possibly fake compliment, the topic of

Haynes' life story has officially been changed, hasn't it?

Gee, you're smart, too.

Ladies and gentlemen, if I can direct your attention to the main stage, here's

what you've been waiting for.

You know them, you love them, you've seen them on TV, all the way from

Milwaukee, that crazy gag from Happy Days!

Then they uncuffed me.

I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Come on.

You know, I really had a good time tonight.

You sound surprised.

I'm not surprised. I thought we hated one another.

Do you remember the other day when I told you that I left Detroit so I can

to a small town and try cases?

Yeah.

Well... That wasn't the only reason.

About three years ago, on a warm spring afternoon in

June, I had a wedding day, but no wedding.

452 guests, one bride, no groom. It was like a really bad, clichéd movie.

Stuckyville. That's where broken hearts come to mend, huh?

Yeah, well, there you have it. The life and times of Bonnie Hayne.

Thanks.

Well, I figure you deserve it after having to spend two hours watching me

beer nuts.

That was the Shirley Temple talking.

Yeah.

Good night, Ed.

Good night, Bonnie.

But I'm telling you, the Fonzo is not black.

Oh, is that so, sir? Because I wouldn't really know. I see the actor, not the

color of his skin.

Amy.

Okay, so I say to Chachi, when your trailer is rocking, I don't come

Hey, Bosco, before you launch into your holier -than -thou speech, know that the

Stucky Bowl cash register is brimming.

Bill, actually, I have something for you guys.

Give certificates to Chuck E. Cheese, but why do they get them? I'm the only

who filled the place. Well, let's just say you have your managerial style and I

have mine.

I'm going to spend the entire $15 on curly fries.

Whatever happened to Richie's older brother?

Your smile can't disguise

the love of

love.

It's saying so much more than just words could ever say.

Carmela, is everything okay?

Oh yes, Mrs. Burton, everything is fine.

Hey, Kyle.

Hi, Ed.

How you doing?

I'm sorry.

I was... I don't know.

Temporary insanity.

Can I plead that?

I'm sorry, too, Kyle. I didn't mean anything I said.

No, it's my fault.

It's none of my business if you go out on a date or not. I have no right to

know. No, you were right. I did violate our friendship. Friends shouldn't have

secrets, right?

Friends should also live up to their promises.

How's that around the ankle?

Good? I don't know. I've never skated before.

Come on.

Okay.

So how was the big date?

Bend your legs, lean forward.

Oh, come on. You can tell me. We're friends, remember?

We'll be good. We can save drinks, okay?

Right.

Whoa! Don't let me go!

I won't.

Oh, I'm skating!

Look at that!