All language subtitles for The Darling Buds of May s01e03 When the Green Woods Laugh 1.eng

I see you. No, you don't, you horrible
little children.

Quick in the cart, go on.

That's easy.

Go on.

Larkin, was that you with the gun?

Me, Sir George? No, no, no, no, no.

Now I've got ear trouble, I wouldn't
shoot a gun with ear trouble, sir, would

Some children put up those ducks, I'm
sure of it.

Couple of girls, look like yours.

No, no, couldn't be mine, sir, no.

Now, mine are all at home doing their
homework.

Now, you probably saw gypsy kids.

I haven't seen any gypsies about.

Oh, that's the thing, though, isn't it?

You don't see them until you see them.

Some sense in that, I suppose.

Well, they're like shadows.

Aren't they? Probably halfway across the
county by now.

Never would have happened when I had a
gamekeeper. No, exactly.

Oh, by the way... By the way, Sir
George, have you thought any more about

offer for Bluff Court?

You know what you can do with your
offer, Mr Larkin. Yeah, all right, thank

Doesn't seem to make much sense, though.
Oh, yes, it does.

Because some of us have a feeling for
history.

Pretty backward -looking history, if you
ask me.

The past usually is. Good day to you,
sir.

Good day to you, sir.

Sidney Larkin.

Yes.

He's here now.

Good.

I wonder if we could have a sort of a
chat.

Right.

I wouldn't be happy.

Oh, God bless this man.

He's got every right to be happy, hasn't
he?

Wouldn't you be happy if you were
marrying the prettiest girl in Kent?

Well... Prettiest girl in the country.

Yes.

Mind you'd look funny if I married her,
wouldn't it?

Well, here's girl bar one.

Oh, no, don't get me all excited. I
don't know where to stop. Well, thank

for that. That's what I say.

Why do your face look like a badger?

Come on.

Here, Ma.

I've been thinking about Charlie and
Mariette, you know.

Now they're properly engaged and that,
she's a bit cruel leaving Charlie in

bedroom at the top.

He stays there. I'm not having an
unmarried couple sharing a bed in this

Well, you do.

I know.

We've got children.

I know what I mean.

Well... Oh, and look at it. It's a bit
of a white elephant, isn't it?

You can't afford to live in it because
you can't afford to pay for it.

I know that.

I'm trying to tell my husband. It's like
missing heads, brick walls.

Yeah.

I'll bet Hitler felt the same about us.

George was a hurricane pilot, you know.

No, I didn't know.

Was he really?

Oh.

We certainly owe them a debt.

I wish you hadn't mentioned that word.

Where is he, by the way, Sir George?

At home.

North Lodge.

You really would knock the place down if
I could get George to sell. Oh, yeah.

Well, nobody would want to buy it, would
they?

Unless they had pots of money.

It's just a fortune just to keep it dry
in the winter.

Hate English winters.

Ah, both hate English winters.

Least we agree on that.

It's an extraordinary coincidence, that
Lady Mary. That really is.

Now, where is that page?

Did you take the time? Yes.

Ever since Mr.

Charlton came, Ma still takes the mirror
for her horoscope.

But us, that's it, here we are.

Take a look at that.

I still can't believe it.

A few weeks ago I was a junior tax
inspector.

I lived in digs. I didn't have anyone.

Now I've got you.

Now I'm... I'm... You still do it, don't
you?

Do what?

You suddenly go all serious.

Love seeketh not itself to please, nor
for itself takes any care.

I must talk to Pop.

Seriously?

Yes.

Not now, though.

Two of three thousand for a villa.

Sweet. Plus the swimming pool.

Also got a nice sandy beach, other side
of the garden wall. It's a snip, it's a

bargain. If we get a fair price for
Bluff Court.

There's my middleman.

I must say, it's a very attractive idea.

But now I have to make it attractive to
George.

You will.

You will. Oh, I wish I shared your
confidence.

You're not married to him. No.

I'm running out of ammo with my
hurricane pilot.

Lady Mary, a woman is like a flower in
the sun.

Bright, open, beautiful.

What man could resist such a flower in
winter sunshine?

Two more spoons, Mrs.

Hall.

I need glucose at a time like this.

Bad news, Mr. Shell.

Lunacy, Mrs. Hall. This is Mr.

Charlton's letter of resignation.

More to life than working as a wage
slave in a dusty Inland Revenue office.

Decided, therefore, to opt for a more
simple, open -air sort of life.

And please send on my P45 to the above
address.

Open -air life.

Waffle, all of it. He's taken leave of
his senses.

What is it, Mr Charlton?

He's thrown up a career in the Inland
Revenue for a woman.

Oh, what about Bordismar?

Yeah, look at the sleeves.

True.

Oh, that's nice. That's very pretty.

Go on, go on, go on.

That's all, boy.

Oh, Charlie, it's the man.

Where's Mariette?

She's looking at wedding catalogues with
Ma.

That's not too perfect.

Oh, no.

Right.

That's it, that's the shed there.

What? Did I hear the word?

Yeah, far away, old boy, far away.

I'm going to marry your daughter. Yes.

Sorry,

kids, I'll have to go now.

I've got to be able to look after her.

Well, you'll do that, all right? Of
course you will. Yes, but how?

What are my prospects?

I've already chucked in my position with
the Inland Revenue.

Well, a damn good job, too, if you ask
me.

They're income tax, you know. It's
nothing more than legal robbery.

Yes, but it was a job.

I've got a little saved up, but that
won't last long.

What about the strawberry piggy?

I mean, you earn more on that strawberry
-picking lot than you ever earn on that

income tax.

Hang on a minute. What did you say just
now?

Did you say catalogues? Three of them.

Well, we'll see about that.

Oh, yeah.

I'm not having no daughter of mine
getting married wearing something out of

catalogue. It'd be so much cheaper like
this.

Exactly. That's my point. I'm not having
no wedding on the cheap.

It's going to be nothing but the very
best for you two.

I mean, Marriott's going to look like a
queen and you're going to look like a...

an empress.

I'm sorry.

Money, no object.

But how can it be no object? What about
Bluff Court if you get a chance to buy

it? Look, I'll meet the price. Don't you
worry about that, Mar. I'll sell off a

bit of surplus.

The main thing is for you two to get the
right dresses.

I mean, going up London, damages, Gary
and Tom's, maybe even salvages.

That's right.

Nothing but the best.

You are a lovely man.

Now the twins.

I don't think it is twins now.

Well,

it don't matter.

Boy or a girl, it'll be perfect.

Ha! Listen to this one.

Pleasing half -timbered elevations hung
under a tiled roof with original Oath

House carriage.

The place looks more like a hencoot.

Liars and scoundrels, house agents, all
of them. You tell them the sort of

residence you want, and what do they
show you?

Manor houses like matchboxes and so
-called country mansions that turn out

disused workhouses or mental homes.

Oh, we'll find something, Sunbeam. I'm
sure it'll all dovetail.

All one want is a house with some class
to it.

I think I've lost another ounce or two.

I'll know in a moment when I go on the
scales. It's no use phoning up from

London and talking to those damned
agents. We've got to go and stay at the

country for a few days.

Oh, Van Gogh's my diet.

I've arranged to take some time off from
the city.

We'll choose a spot, find a hotel, and
see if the local people can't put us on

to something.

Here you are.

Take these.

Calm down. As I said, it's bound to
dovetail. Thanks, Pinky.

In the pantry, we won't need pills.

Can't wait.

Good night, Sunbeam.

I'm terribly sorry.

Charlie! Well, I never.

Since you were going to London anyway, I
thought I'd come along too and collect

a few things from home. Lovely.

I thought home was your digs and meds,
girl. Hey, weekly piano tear for work.

Most of my stuff's in Harrow with Aunt
Bridget.

Well, let's make the tea.

Marble Arch Hotel.

Lovely. Marble Arch?

Ages since we've had tea there. Titty
little sandwiches, but lovely cream

on the stand.

Isn't it rather expensive?

Oh, we don't pay.

I've got perfect for that. Who? Pop's
older brother. We've got a Dickies and

Jones book.

You've been very mysterious, Cedric. I
haven't seen you for weeks.

It's just that I've been busy changing
my address, Aunt Bridget. Why, ever so?

I thought you liked your landlady.

Oh, yes, I do.

Just that I've moved onto a farm.

Well, sort of smallholding.

Then up he rose and twitched his mantle
blue.

Tomorrow to fresh woods and parked anew.

There's a girl in it somewhere, isn't
there?

Yes.

Her name's Mariette Larkin, and we're
going to be married.

As soon as we set a date, you're
invited, of course.

Just forget your troubles and learn to
fail.

Tomorrow is a lovely day.

You're taking that one, are you?

Definitely. You really are smitten.

What a set of mush.

Now, who could that be?

Two visitors in one day.

Mrs Thorpe?

Yes? My name is Shell, Brian Shell.

Your nephew, Mr Charlton, wrote to me
giving this address.

May I ask what you've called about, Mr
Shell? A somewhat serious matter, Mrs

Thorpe. I'm Mr Charlton's immediate
superior with the inland revenue.

Oh. But my visit is made in a spirit of
conciliation and, may I say, as your

nephew's mentor.

Conciliation?

Is Mr. Charlton by any chance at home?

Might I have a word with him?

Yes, he is in, as a matter of fact.

You're in luck. And so, I believe, may
he be.

Sir, please.

Sir, Mr.

Charlton, thank you.

Oh. Oh, I...

I expect he's in the garden.

Excuse me.

Cedric?

Cedric? Are you there, Ced...

So

that's my adventure.

What about the dress?

Oh, hopeless.

We've walked ourselves off and found
nothing we like.

Where comes Perth now?

Hello, Perth. How are you?

Hello. Nice to see you.

Marriott. Uncle Perth. Mrs. Charlie.

They're going to be married.

Wonderful. Congratulations.

Oh, thank you very much.

Look forward to the wedding invite.

You and Sid splashing out for the big
dating? Well, you know Pop.

I haven't named the day yet.

Just as well.

It's a waste of time. I can't find
anything.

Just nothing in the shops.

Shops? You don't want nowhere to go for
no shops.

Titchy sandwiches, like I said. Hardly a
mouthful.

From where, then? Specially made.

What, royalty, you mean? Don't be daft.

A countess, Shernikov. Countess?

She's done dressmaking for royalty in
her time.

Well, she's a countess, Perth. What's
she doing dressmaking?

White Russian.

Old title, no money.

She's a housekeeper in the hotel.

And a very good friend of mine.

Who ever put the idea of Spain into your
head?

Nobody. Just occurred to me.

If we were to sell the court, we could
live here so much more cheaply.

Get a gardener, even.

Could do with a gardener.

We could buy a winter place in Spain for
poor.

Can you pick up the home service in
Spain?

I'm sure you can.

Come and sit down with me, George.

Let me pour you a nice, cool glass of
lemonade.

Here we are.

Right. You know, get that round your tom
sauce.

Even by your standards, Larkin, you're
like a dog with two tails. Well, just

prospect of a little deal, General.

You don't mean Bluff Court, by any
chance?

I see. The old jungle drums have been
beaten already, have they?

Well, just a rumour or two.

You're a clever fellow, Larkin.

You're very good health.

It is mud in your eye.

I believe a decent bottle of wine in
Spain costs practically nothing.

Really?

Just think of it.

No more cold winter evenings.

No more smoke coming down the chimney.

No more hot water bottles.

No more flannelette nightgowns.

You always wear flannelette nightgowns.
I wouldn't in Spain.

Remember our last winter sometime?

I mean, our honeymoon in the West
Indies.

We saw the test match in Bridgeton.

Remember what I wore then?

Well, you didn't actually wear anything.

Good God.

I tell you this.

If my good friend Parsifal Larkins
wishes it to be, it will be.

And for such a beauty.

I was beautiful once.

Oh, I think you still are.

Oh, Lavochka.

There'll be four bridesmaids and me.
You, Mrs.

Larkins. You.

I see you in Lionheart.

had thought of Sam and Ping.

Oh, no, out of the question. For your
complexion, which is greatly to be

admired, as well as to your daughter's,
Lainach.

For the bride, of course, white, like
snow.

What says the groom?

I think we're very lucky to have found
you, Countess.

Oh.

Parsifal and I are fondest friends.

We... Go out together, you understand.

Oh, me. All like that, them Larkins.

Have you really made dresses for the
royal family?

Big secret.

But I nod the head.

So, first, I make designs, I make
drawings, we choose, and then I make you

most beautiful bride to the year.

And now, we have some tea.

Oh.

Never seen tea made like that.

It's a samovar.

Ooh!

Just don't stand there, man. Get on with
it.

Oh, very good, sir.

Did you bring cucumber and smoked salmon
sandwiches?

As you've requested, madam.

And the pastries?

Certainly, sir. And Lapsang Souchong.
Oh, good.

Afternoon tea charged to the room, sir.
Of course.

Fanshawe.

And, uh, Mrs. Fanshawe.

Indeed.

Would you care to initial this, madam?

No, no. Come here.

I'll do it.

Oh, thank you very much indeed, sir.

Madam.

Tea. So, you look at sketches. Which do
you prefer?

The one with the lace or the plain silk,
which emphasises the figure?

Here, dear, I'm just looking at them.

I think I like the lace best.

What do you think, Charlie?

Like Ma, I think they're both stunning.

Ah, farceful.

Parsifal, which of those should she wear
to her wedding day?

This is a larkin, he wouldn't know.

Well, I've taken more of an interest
since I met Natasha.

That one.

Oh, the bride's old choice.

So, dresses are all decided.

Women and children will look beautiful.

Tea break, Bert?

Yeah. Oh, yeah. I can deal with it and
all.

Please have it with your bunions room
service.

Mind you, your season going's on, that's
for sure. What, room service?

Fun and frolics in the afternoon, Chloe,
you know.

Don't disgust him, Perth. Tell me more.

Well, I've just taken tea up to a so
-called married couple.

Major and Mrs Fanshawe.

No disguising what they were up to.

And he has the cheek to give me a fruity
bit tip.

We are a listed building. The only list
I can see is in the floor.

Oh, do let's take it for a few days,
Sunbeam. It'll be so good to get things

zipped up. All right, we'll take it.
Send the bags up. The wife will do that.

Like a drink in the meantime.

Just a fruit juice for me, Sunbeam. And
I'll have a double gin and tonic.

I need fortifying before driving around
in circles peering over hedges.

Oh, house hunting, are you? That's the
idea. We want a country residence. Quite

large. A domain.

With extensive grounds.

Excuse me. Yes. I must just... You are
naughty.

What? You weren't listening. You were
eavesdropping.

I know. Just blessed with good hearing.

You're up to something.

Easy. Now, when do I ever get up to
anything?

Best man?

I haven't thought about a best man.

What happened, Charlie?

Montgomery? He's too young.

Pop, then? He's giving me away.

He can't do both.

Giving you away?

I just said that.

To me?

Sidney Larkin.

Is that beer coming, or do I have to go
and pick the hops myself?

Sorry, Mark.

Home call.

Ta. Here you go.

Russian tea out them samovars doesn't
half give you a thirst.

Oh, that's better.

How's your Uncle Purse knowing a county?

Yeah, well, he's a bit like me, isn't
he, Purse? Makes friends easily.

Especially female ones.

Paid off, though, didn't it, eh?

Making a friend of Lady Bluff Gore.

Is that her on the phone?

No. That was Sir George.

He's agreed to sell me Bluff Court.

7 ,000?

Knock down price, Charlie boy.

And talking of knocking down, I've got
news for you two.

That is where your bungalow's going to
come from.

Oh, Paul, that's wonderful!

Full of first -class materials, that is.
You'll have all modern stuff inside.

Nice Californian kitchen suite and all
that, eh?

What do you say? Well, Pop, that's a
most generous offer.

If it really has got to be pulled down.

Except... Oh,

Charlie boy, there's always an except
with you.

Except what?

Well, what about the rest of the money
to buy Bluff Court?

We're talking about thousands of pounds.

Listen, you two, come with me.

Right, thousands you want.

Thousands we got.

This army surplus, innit?

We've got hundreds of great coats,
battle dress blouses, 300 pairs of army

boots, army blankets, great big thick
ones too. There's a man at Maidstone

them for the Nigerian army.

But it's hot there.

Not at night, it's not.

You're an amazing man, Pop.

Yeah. Well, I'm a natural.

You stay with me, Charlie boy. What with
this lot and the copper wiring from the

minesweeper next door. Well, it's got to
be worth, what, £5 ,000? Well, my name

is Harold Macmillan. Have a cigar,
Charlie boy.

Good, you two.

Off you go.

I don't know why you took that. You
don't even smoke.

I'm in a whirl, Mariette.

So many things going on.

Well, let's not think about them for a
bit, eh? No, let's not.

Let's just sit here and watch the
sunset.

Charlie? Hmm?

That's East.

Shot myself in the foot good and proper
there, didn't I?

Chucking lighted matches about.

Could have sworn it was out.

Should have used my lighter.

Bit late now.

It's the end of our bungalow.

You can't buy Bluff Court now.

Go to a building society and get a
mortgage.

Mortgage? It's the obvious solution.
Borrow the money.

We've never borrowed. You make enemies
borrowing.

I'm not from a building society, Ma.

Why should a building society want to
lend me money? I mean, what's in it for

them? Interest.

Why are they interested in pot?

No.

You pay interest, Ma.

They lend you the money to buy bluff
cord, and you repay them so much a

plus interest.

Oh, I don't know.

I've never had much truck with banks and
building societies. It's all catches,

isn't it?

Well, let's... Charlie of a trough, Pop.

I mean, he's never so clever at things
like this.

Will you be back in time for the
cricket?

I'll do my best.

If I'm late, you could take my stuff
over to the green for me, couldn't you?

Yeah.

I wonder if Pop will play the way he's
feeling.

It might do him good.

It's odd. My suit feels tight.

You filled out.

What are my pyjamas doing up here?

They're the ones you lent me the first
night I stayed.

I know that.

But what are they doing under your
pillow?

Because I sleep with them.

Silly, aren't I?

No, you're not.

I love you.

Holy primrose, is that yours?

Yes.

Don't look!

Oi, what?

Alright, girl.

A thousand buttons.

Eh? Lots of buttons.

Billions of buttons.

But they're all black.

Oi.

Must have belonged to a black what,
then? Eh?

Had to drive over, my sweet. Heard about
the fire.

Shattering. Awfully sorry.

Well, just one of those things.

My poor angel.

Anything I could do?

No, thank you, Angela, nothing.

Will you get insurance?

No, didn't carry no insurance, did I?
Oh, damnable bad luck.

Foul. Oh, well, can't be helped.

Fancy a snifter?

Love to, but I'm picking up the
brigadier. Taking him shopping for a

He's umpiring at the biggest cricket
game.

Are you playing poppers?

Oh, yes.

I completely forgot all about it. Oh, be
a hero.

Blast a few boundaries.

Feel a lot better.

Yeah.

He's very kind of you, you know, to help
the brigadier.

He's been a lot lonelier since your
sister died.

Happy to buck him up.

You're a toff, you are.

You're up a crutch. Me? Yes.

Shriek.

Hey.

There is something that you could help
me with, actually.

Well, name it, darling one.

Well, there's a couple staying at the
Heron House by the name of Jeroboam,

right? City gent and his lady wife.

Because he calls him something and he
calls her Beacon.

Old Larkin's got his eye in.

Yes.

Don't do that.

He's taken it out on me because I bought
his house.

I should have offered him a lower price.

Bad luck puffs, isn't it? A bowler's all
right. It's the umpire you've got to

watch. Go on. Good luck.

This is how I've always imagined country
life.

Blissful weather. The whack of leather
on willow.

Nothing quite like it.

Yes, well, tell us more about this
house.

Bluff? Court is next to Mr Larkin's
farm. A farmer? Mixed farming.

I mean, he mixes farming with other
things.

If he's only just bought, um, Bluff
Court, why is he selling? I'm not saying

is. And I'm not saying he's not.

What's he like, this Mr Larkin?

Decent sort.

A lamb, really.

Simple, you mean?

It dovetails, doesn't it?

Simple lives, simple people.

No need to be clever in the country, you
see.

I hadn't thought of it like that.

Hello there.

Oh. How do?

Shame you were out.

Eh. Unjustly.

I heard about the fire when I got back
from London this morning. I'm so sorry.

That was cruel luck, too.

Just an outbuilding. Lost a bit of junk,
that's all.

as if there was anything I could do.

That's very nice of you, Mrs Perrigo,
but no real harm done.

Corin, please.

Awful, really.

Here we are, next -door neighbours, and
I hardly see anything of you.

What I mean is, if there's ever anything
you want, anything I can do, don't

hesitate to call round, will you?

What?

Thank you.

You may be a well of the West.

But I'll pin you down one day, see if I
don't.

Enjoy the rest of the match.

Ah, there you are, Lampkin.

I think I've got the Jeroboams dribbling
with anticipation, as you asked.

I knew I could rely on you, my little
firework.

There's a great hall for it, isn't it?
Come on.

Look at the sweep of that.

Well,

it's baronial, isn't it?

That's the only word for it, is
baronial. Oh, I adore it.

It's nice for the fireplace.

Yeah, it's nice. Nice, isn't it?

Sonny! Look!

Oh,

yeah. Well, that's unique.

Do you know I had a bloke from
Birmingham?

He offered me £1 ,000 for that skylight.

Good gracious!

How old is the house, Mr Larkin?

Well, it's old.

It's old.

Georgian, Tudor or something.

It was definitely 15th century.

Oh, look, if you'd just like to have a
look at this. As I said, simple.

Where's the dining room?

Is there a study?

Is there a study?

Is there a study?

Follow me.

Oh, look!

This is...

study. Handling's impressive.

Impressive? Impressive's not the word.

We talk about fumed oak. Fumed oak
wasn't thought of when this was made.

We all don't tell.

Ah, I didn't want to show you.

How many rows did you say? Oh, 15.

Might be 20. Good gracious.

You have an account with this society,
Mr Charlton. That's right.

I've been with you for quite a long
time.

Well, that's a good start.

We like to do what we can for our
savers.

So, you're inquiring about a mortgage on
the Bluff Court estate, hmm?

Five thousand pounds, to be exact.

I'm told that shouldn't be too
difficult.

Ah, no.

I don't know who told you that, Mr
Charlton.

There are certain hoops to go through,
some of them easier than others.

Will it take long?

Not likely. So you only have to pick up
the phone and call head office.

They're usually guided by any
recommendation I make.

Perfect. Sorry?

Perfect.

Now, in the winter, when the light's
right and it's a clear day, you can

here and you can see the sea. The sea?

You mean you can actually see the sea?

Are you sure?

Yeah. Smoke of the ships in the channel.

And what price that air then, eh?

Take a sniff of that. Go on, take a
sniff.

It's like medicine, isn't it, eh? An
elixir.

Nobody hardly ever dies here, you know.
They live forever, like tall boys do.

Oh, it's fresh air and plenty of
exercise.

You know, ride your own horses.

Hey, I see you don't swim in your own
pool every day.

Yeah, well, you know, you'd soon get the
garden tidy.

Because everything grows here, hell for
leather, you know. Oh, yeah. Oh,

everything. Apples, pears, plums,
cherries, strawberries, hops, corn,

Oh, everything.

It's not called the Garden of England
for nothing, you know.

Come on, through here.

There, that's it.

There we go. Just mind your thing on the
glass.

Mr Larkin. Yeah.

If you aren't sure you want to sell it
to us, why are you waxing so lyrical

about it?

Oh.

Sentiment, I suppose, because this is
the last time I shall see the old place

it is.

Selling it for demolition, you say?

Well, the lake's up here.

You say you were with the inland revenue
for over five years.

Solid stuff. And now?

I'm in agricultural development.

Sounds even more solid.

Just the formality of establishing
your...

Financial reliability, Mr. Charlton.

And I'll see about your loan.

Mine?

Well, it's not actually for me. It's for
my father -in -law.

I thought I explained that.

Obviously not very clearly.

No.

Still, I don't see that it should alter
things.

Buff Court is still a very sound
investment.

What's his occupation, your father -in
-law?

Well, he's a farmer.

Excellent.

Farmers always plead poverty, but I've
yet to meet a poor one.

So, formalities.

Full name?

Larkin. Sidney Charles Larkin.

Larkin?

Yes. Why, do you know him?

Put it this way.

I know of him.

Anybody who lives here, you get sick and
tired of eating wild duck after a

while. You mentioned pheasants.

Yeah, that's right. Well, you put a
couple of hundred young 'uns in now, and

could be eating pheasants until the cows
come home.

Yeah, or the deer, rather. Deer? There
are deer?

Oh, yes, yes, in the woods, back there,
hundreds of them. Do you like venison at

all? God, yes.

Listen, I'll tell you how Ma cooks it.

She marinates it, right, for 24 hours,
and she covers it in butter.

It's in a long, slow, double pan in the
oven, and, well, the meat just fairly

falls off the bone. It is perfect. I'll
tell you what, man, it is perfect.

And all this goes with the house? The
lake, the woods, and everything?

Well, yes, yes, if I was thinking of
selling it, that is. I'll give you 12

Yes, I'm sure you would. It's a
perfectly good offer in my view. Would

It's a perfectly good offer in your
view, old man, but it ain't necessarily

in mine, is it? I mean, you know, you've
got all that staircase in there. You've

got the oak panelling, the fireplaces,
the master bedroom.

Yeah. Well, I reckon the old demolition
boys would give me what?

Well, I reckon 19 ,000 easy. Oh, yeah.

Can we get it zipped up?

Couldn't you zip it all up now?

Oh,

look at that there. Ripple, see, that's
Trout.

Lakes full of them.

Oh, but Sunbeam, we've absolutely got to
have it. I mean to say, how folly

as well it all dovetails.

Good for the image in the city, I
suppose.

A rural domain.

Not bad for the inland revenue either.

If I say we farm it, it could make a
very useful tax loss.

What's he asking?

Nineteen.

I offered him twelve.

Would he split, do you suppose?

Possible, I suppose.

Tie him with 15.

Oh, we've got to get it agreed somehow.

I couldn't bear to lose it now.

Oh, I know, Pinky.

I'll tie him with 15.

Now,

look

here.

This question of staff, maids, chaps to
look after the grounds, we'd be doing a

fair amount of entertaining.

Dinner parties? People down from Dundon.

Shooting and fishing parties, croquet,
that sort of thing. You sure we wouldn't

have any trouble getting help?

No, no trouble at all. You have more
queuing up. Hordes of them. No trouble.

As long as you pay them at the right
scale, let them watch a bit of telly.

I'll give you 15 cash.

Cash.

50 % up front.

As a deposit, that's rather steep.

Yes, I know, but you see, I've got the
demolition lads rattling at the front

door. I don't know whether I can put
them off.

All right, I'll give you 50 % cash by
the end of the week.

Oh, I don't know.

I might be able to come down a bit,
but... You're asking 19, and I'm

split the difference.

15 cash.

Oh, split the difference between 15 and
19. Done, 17 ,000. Oh, splendid,

splendid. Oh, I'm so glad it's all...

One! Middle leg, please.

Nice cup of tea. Just what I need,
Edith.

Your young lad knows how to wield a
cricket bat. You coached him, I expect.

Yeah. Well, it's all a matter of wrist
work. See? Like everything else in life.

Hey!

Jolly boy!

Here!

Out for a tailing duck. Come on, take
the end of the world.

Isn't the only duck pot?

I didn't get the mortgage.

You can't buy Bluff Court.

Can't buy it?

I can't buy it.

I've already sold it.

Larkin. Hello, Sir George.

Perfect day, isn't it?

In a manner of speaking.

You actually have brought cash?

Yeah. All in ready, sir.

I don't think I've ever seen so much.
You'd better come inside, Larkin.

Larkin's here with a load of money.

Good. Yes, £5 ,000, as promised.

I think that clears up our little
transaction.

Oh, absolutely.

I thought that you had a positive you
hadn't turned up.

Not forgeries, are they? Forgeries?

Very droll. Very, very droll. Can I have
a receipt, please?

Yes, right. Well, I'll put this away.
I'll phone the lawyers.

Oh, right. Oh, could I have the duffel
bag back? It belongs to one of my

children. They're very fierce about
their possessions, you know.

Indeed. You shall have it back. Thank
you.

Garden? Garden.

Bill,

look, I like it turned up here.

He's brought the money. He's brought it
in cash.

Five percent?

I told you.

Fair's my middle name.

I believe it's called the cream off the
top.

Which you are, Lady Bluffgore. Which you
are.

All settled.

Oh!

Thank you, sir.

We're so looking forward to Spain.

Viva España, eh?

What the blazes?

What the devil do they think they are?

Oh, that's the Jeroboams. Who?

The new owners.

New what?

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