Original subtitles

Previously on Ed. Are you seeing Ted?

No, it's not like that. He's just this amazing force of energy.

Or something, Sean.

Good guy, Molly.

I know, it's just that I'm starting to think that there's something missing.

Like what?

Zing? Have you talked to Sean about this? Hey, tell a guy he's got no zing.

Bridge and Tunnel Magazine offered me a job. Oh, good.

What? Yeah.

On staff in New York. I can always sell Stucky Bowl. We can make the move

together. You would sell Stucky Bowl?

Absolutely, if this job is really what you want.

I'm turning down the job offer.

Our home is here.

Everything we have, it's here.

Ed.

Hey. Let's go to New York.

I've thought about it, and I've thought about it, and I want to do it. I want to

move to New York City and take the job at Bridge and Tunnel Magazine.

Really? Yes.

Yes. I've got to do it. I'd be crazy. I would regret it for the rest of my life

if I don't do this, right?

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, no, yeah, sure.

I have wanted to be a writer my whole life, and now I'm going to get the

In New York, New York, the city's so nice, they named it twice.

Yeah, it's going to be great.

What? What? I said it's going to be great.

Oh, well, are you having second thoughts about moving to New York with me?

What? No.

No, I just said it's going to be great. Great is good.

In fact, great, by definition, better than good.

Don't tell me you think good is better than great. Do you think good is better

than great? Are you going to sit there and claim that good is better than

Okay, Carol, now you're being ridiculous.

Ed, that's not what I'm doing.

Okay, good, because that certainly would have been foolish to do that.

Ed?

Yeah?

Do you want to move to New York with me?

It's going to be great.

which as previously established is better than good.

I'm in the sky tonight There I can

keep by your side Watching the white

I don't know what to believe anymore. It was much easier when I could believe in

the myth. What myth?

You know, the ballad of Edward J. Stevens.

Can you remind me how that goes again?

Ed moves to Stuckyville to be close to Carol.

Ed buys a bowling alley to be close to Carol. Ed does fill in the blank to be

close to Carol. And what part about that is a myth?

The part of to be close to Carol?

Right, right. You don't really believe that.

Well, I don't know what to believe.

I mean, if it's so important to be close to me, if our relationship is so

important, then what's the resistance to New York? Well, has Ed said that he

won't go?

No, he said he will go. He said it's going to be great, which is how I know

doesn't actually want to go.

Change is hard. You know, give him some time.

Maybe. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. We going somewhere?

Regional principal's luncheon.

Really?

Definitely the dress.

You think so? It's not too much?

No, Sean will love it.

You know, Carol, have you ever thought about what New York might represent to

Ed? I mean, the last time he lived there, things didn't go so great.

New York! It's not the problem, bench presser. Bright lights, big city, bring

on, I say. Ed Stevens has conquered the concrete jungle, and he can do it once

again. Talk about the New York kick -your -ass prince.

Hardly true, lefty. No, as a matter of fact, that honor belongs fully to my ex

-wife and the mailman she's left with. So if New York isn't a problem, then

is? Timing. You know, because Carol and I, we have this new thing, but it's

great, but it's just started, so I don't know why she wants to move and possibly

risk ruining that. She's not breaking up with you, Ed. She wants you to go with

her. I know, but what if Stuckyville is the only place we work? What if...

What if we're like some little plant that dies if it's uprooted and moved too

soon? I'm saying that there are issues here to be considered.

I'm sure she has considered them, Ed. She just doesn't want to hurt this

hothouse flower any more than you do.

Do you think?

Yeah, I do.

You're right.

You're right. Of course you're right. You know, I'll just tell her I can't

She'll understand.

I mean, she'll be upset, but she'll understand.

And then maybe she'll call New York and turn on the job offer. Stay here with

me, because that's what's best for us. Don't you think?

Not a chance in hell, Ed. Yeah, I didn't think so.

I don't think I have laughed this hard in I don't know how long.

Thanks for coming. Thanks for inviting me. I had a great time.

Me too.

Listen, are you busy tonight?

I wish I weren't, but I have a conference call with a client in Tokyo.

Can I take a rain check?

Sure.

Well, people tend to give me a lot of bowling stuff, but I can honestly say

is the first time I've gotten a bowling pin antenna ball.

Thanks, Jeff. Can you even call it a ball? They're all antenna balls, even

though we've expanded the line.

Sure come a long way since ones used to get out of the gas stations, right?

You designed all these? My partner and I did.

Ron's the artist. I'm more the idea man.

Nice. Well, I guess idea man's a good gig as long as you don't run out of

So far, so good.

Ten years, still growing.

Congratulations. So what's the problem?

It's Ron. He wants out.

Neither of us saw it as a career.

It was a way to make money, get us through college, but people kept buying

balls. Then you're happy to keep making them. It's a lucrative business.

Why not just get another artist?

I need Ron.

Our company just landed a big contract. It's huge, but it's contingent upon both

of us being involved.

I see. You don't want to mess with a good thing. Exactly.

So what would you like me to do?

Look over our corporate charter, our partnership agreement, our mission

statement, and tell me if there's any legal leg I can stand on.

What, to force Ron to stay?

Force is an ugly word.

But yeah.

Even if he's miserable?

This contract is good for the business, our business. It'll make him very happy

financially, trust me.

Please, find a way to make him stay.

Hey, I'm, uh... Duck.

This job... I feel like I may never get an opportunity like this again.

I know.

But I don't want it to come between us, and I don't want it to ruin what we

have. So, let's figure something out.

That's good.

I think you should. You deserve it.

But I don't expect you to come. I know that that wouldn't be fair. Everything

that you've worked so hard to build is here.

And who knows? I might suck at being a writer, and I could be back here before

anybody even misses me.

First of all, if you're gone for one week, one day, one minute, you'll be

missed. And second, you're going to be great.

My plan was we would call each other every day and take turns flying back and

forth on the weekends.

Yeah, well, gotta love airplanes.

That's when we see each other the most. Weekends, right?

Yeah, pretty much.

Well,

I'm thinking it's a great plan.

Could really work.

You know what? It won't, Carol.

I know what happens. You know, one week you'll have, what do they call it, a

deadline. You won't be able to get away. And we'll think, oh, it's not such a

big deal. It's just one week. And the next thing you know, I'll have like a

client or a case. I won't be able to get away. And then we're seeing each other

twice a month. Before too long, it's like once a month. And then before you

it, we're like voices on a phone talking about the weather. No, no, no, no, no.

That's not going to happen to us.

I won't let it. Listen, Carol, we won't survive.

Not as a couple. We're too new.

We need more time together.

Not less time together.

What are you doing? We really need to talk about this. Yeah, I've talked about

it, and I'm going to do something.

Yeah, Stanford and Associates.

Yeah, this is Ed Stephens.

Listen, I have a bowling alley I need to sell.

Hey, thanks for coming, you guys.

What's up, Stucky Boss?

Guys, I wanted you to hear this from me first.

Stucky Bowl is for sale.

Stucky Bowl can't be for sale, man.

You own Stucky Bowl. It's your business.

It's my business, man. I'm selling it. You can't do that. It's our business,

too.

Right. Well, I expect it is your business, too, in a way. You certainly

me run it while I'm grateful. Well, you picked a fine way to show us Lucille

selling her home out from under us. Okay, I'm not selling your home out from

under you, Phil. I've told the broker any offer has to include you.

All three of you.

You're all part of Stocky Bull.

So you're selling out?

No, Shirley, I'm not selling you. I'm telling you that your jobs are

If you'd like them.

Where is your head at, man? What is it?

Where is your head at, man?

Come on, giving up everything for a woman?

I mean, don't get me wrong. She is a beautiful woman.

But, oh, come on, man.

You can't be that desperate.

I'm not desperate, Eli. I guess you could say I'm in love. When a man gives

everything for a woman, he's not in love.

He's whipped.

Well, thanks for that, you guys, but a broker will be coming by with potential

buyers, and while I understand this comes as a surprise, it would behoove me

we could make this transition as smooth as possible, please.

Thanks.

You guys thinking what I'm thinking?

Depends on what you're thinking.

Absolutely nothing.

I know one thing. I ain't ready to break in no new Stucky, boss, man.

Oh, it can't be that bad. I'm sure you all did just fine.

You are after all my students. Come on, I'm sure you did great.

Pass them up, pass them up.

So before you go, I have an announcement to make.

I wrote an article for a brand new magazine called Bridge and Tunnel.

They liked it so much, they've offered me a job.

Way to work him, Miss Fessy.

But the job is in New York City.

Wait, New York City?

How high are you going to be in two places at one time?

You're not.

I'm moving to New York.

Next year?

After we graduate?

Actually, next week.

Okay.

Come on.

Don't punk us, Miss Betsy, please.

I just want you guys to know that I...

I'm going to miss you so much, and you've been such a great client.

And I want you to work very, very hard for your new teacher and make me prouder

than I already am right now. I don't know if that's possible.

Go, go.

Not buying it.

Sorry.

Not buying it.

Tears are a nice touch, though.

That's the ball that started it all.

Wow. You got to give Jeff credit coming up with all these ideas for antenna

balls. These are my ideas.

This was Jeff's.

Oh, because Jeff said that he was the... He likes to think of himself as

creative, but he's the businessman.

I'm the artist.

You can call this art.

Certainly not what I went to school for.

All right, I'm leaving your mark. I mean, that's what artists dream of,

they?

We usually dream of leaving more than a non -biodegradable mark.

Right. No disrespect, Mr. Stevens, but why are you here?

Oh, I just thought I'd come down, check out the business, and also try to check

out your position on this whole thing. My position is I'm done.

Through.

Finito. I've already stayed longer than I should have.

On my birthday, I looked back and I realized I gave up my 20s for this

I can't work every weekend, every holiday anymore. I won't.

I like a family.

I like a life.

Well, the snag here, though, is the way you and Jeff structured your business,

though, Ron. The way Jeff structured it? You mean he was the business major?

According to your partnership agreement, all business decisions... This is a

business decision. They're supposed to be made jointly.

Or we go to an arbitrator. You go to an arbitrator, but the arbitrator's going

to look at the same documents I have, Ron, and he's going to say... What, make

me stay?

He can't make me stay.

No. No, but...

It can make it financially difficult for you to go.

Quality of life means more to me than money, Mr. Stevens.

I can't be miserable just so Jeff's life is better.

I need more balance in my life, not more balls.

You seem a

little quiet.

I'm in a quiet mood, I guess.

It's understandable.

Two of your closest friends moving away.

Yeah. God forbid Nancy joins the circus, I could end up alone.

You alone?

Never happened. The blue button. The blue button, Mom.

Punch it.

Yeah, well, you never know.

Trust me, I got a good feeling.

I guess I just pushed the blue button too late.

I'm tired.

I've got a parent coming in at 7 and a conference call at 8.

I mean, stay.

As in, move in with me.

I think we're ready.

You're serious?

Let me help you wrap that. No, I can do it. I can do it.

Oh,

honey, you made an Ed and Mike line.

I meant it ironically.

Honey, it's so cute.

It's so cute.

I'm actually serious.

Honey, you feel like you're losing your best friend, don't you?

But you're not, right?

I'm here.

Honey, that doesn't count.

Coming to bed soon?

Can't. Too much to do. Not enough time.

Have you even started packing yet? I pack tomorrow.

Say, maybe we should all just slow down a little bit. What do you think?

Are you having third thoughts?

I'm not having third thoughts. I'm just trying to reduce your stress level a

little. I'm not stressed.

Oh, you're not stressed? You're tearing up the house like a big old white

tornado. Why don't you come over here and have a little rest?

Oh, you know, I would love to, Ed. I would love nothing more than to lie in

just like you're doing right now. But you know what?

Then who would pack for us?

Who would find us a place to live? Who would do the hundreds of little things

that need to be done?

Ed, we are moving this weekend. I am starting a brand new job on Monday.

I have no idea what I'm going to write.

I really am glad that you're supportive of my decision, but... Those are my

socks.

Why do I have to do everything on my own?

I hate to see you stressed.

I'm not stressed.

Why don't you come on over here?

Come on.

It's not a good time.

I'll tell you what.

I'll call the movers in the morning. I'll tell them we need a little help

packing. As for the hotel room in New York City, we have it for a week. We can

always extend, okay? I'll sit down with you tomorrow.

We'll go through the apartment listings. We'll figure out a place to live

together. And as to what to write, have a little something on the pressures of

moving to New York City.

Now will you come to bed?

Nice try.

Get a heat pack.

Why don't you throw in a little cash, you know?

You're not just a principal, you're an executive.

Warren, Carol is not leaving because of money. Now he's being naive.

Hey, Maltz, Warren.

Hey, I just started it with Miss Hudson. You're staying.

Yes, you agreed to double your salary, give you Fridays off, and if you play it

cool, I think you might get your own parking space. Warren.

Thank you, Warren. Okay, cool.

So, you know, I'll get all the details ironed out. Just sit tight. Don't agree

to anything, okay?

Goodbye, Warren. I love it when things just work out. I can't believe you're

going to leave.

Is it wrong for me to be flattered by that? Well, if I thought any of it would

keep you, I'd do it.

Especially in my time of need.

Your time of need?

Sean asked me to move in with him.

Oh, really? And what did you say?

I said I had to think about it. And what do you think about it?

I don't know. It's a big step.

I don't think we're ready for it, you know?

I see.

That was a very pregnant IC.

Was it? Yeah, like an eight -and -a -half -months pregnant.

Would this have anything to do with Ted?

Ted? I barely know Ted.

Which isn't really an answer to my question.

See, this is exactly why you can't leave. We will find a very liberal

plan.

Time. Twenty -eight seconds.

Not there.

Ed. Hey, Carol. Hey. Thanks, Shirley. Take five.

Just prepping for the big move here. Doing the big prep. Got the boxes out.

I can see that. Maybe someday you'll put something in the boxes? Yeah, maybe.

I'm trying to get rid of the Boeing stuff first. Oh, hey, apartment hunting.

Let's go.

Yeah, I brought some listings from some of the websites.

Man, the picture.

Good, good, good.

So how do you want to do this? Where do you want to start? How about, well, how

much do you want to spend?

Well, I think that we should try and keep it under $1 ,500.

Well,

I don't see any listings for New Jersey here.

Just because I want to live in Manhattan.

That's what I'm going to be writing about, Ed. New York City.

Well, then you're going to have to up the budget, my friend.

I see some things that we can afford. Look at these.

No, no, no, no, no.

No, you do not want to live here. Trust me. You would not feel safe. Plus, these

are all studios.

One room. Sofa bed. Not good.

What do you suggest?

Look at this one.

Upper west side. One bedroom. Security building. Unfurnished. Heat. Water.

whoa.

$3 ,500 a month?

That's just the first month. That is the last month.

This is crazy.

Am I insane?

To give up a steady teaching gig for an uncertain future. I don't even know if I

can afford.

This is the part where you're supposed to say, you're doing the right thing and

everything's going to be all right.

You're doing the right thing and everything's going to be all right.

You need to work on that.

Hey, Mitch.

Hey, what's going on, buddy?

Hey, Mike.

I can't complain.

Well, I could.

But what's the point?

Yeah, I just didn't hear the sound of my own voice.

How's the family?

Oh, good. Good. You?

Good. Good.

Yeah, hey, man, we should hang out more often.

Yeah, I guess.

Give me a yell sometime.

Hey, what are you doing today?

You busy for lunch?

Oh, this is Eli.

Eli. I'd like you to meet Vanessa Todson from Stanford Stanford & Associates and

Mark Bevins, potential buyer.

Eli Goddard.

Pleasure. Excuse me, there's an arbitrator on the phone. She said it was

an arbitration. I think it's about this.

Thanks, Shirley.

This is Shirley.

Um, I... Would you excuse me for a minute? I have some other business to

to. Actually, Eli, could you show these people around and answer any questions

they might have?

Oh, it'd be my great pleasure.

Eli. Stucky boys, come on, relax.

I got this, and I know you got six on it. Go ahead, play it. Go ahead. I got

this.

Okay.

I'll be back. Excuse me.

You guys couldn't have come at a greater time. Usually it's quiet in here, but

today, oh, my God, it's jumping.

I'm sorry.

This is jumping? Are you kidding me? Dude, we are slammed right now.

I mean, I would ask you to bowl a few, but I'm not sure about any of the lanes

that's working.

Unless you want to bowl on the one the guy just died on.

No.

No, we'll just look around.

That's the bet you got.

Plan to see the doubt.

Watch it sprout.

Hey.

Hey.

Don't tell me the principal's playing hooky. No, I just had to do a quick

errand. I'm so glad that I ran into you. How would you like to go to a party at

Stucky Bowl?

What's the occasion?

Oh, it's Ed and Carol's going away party. There'll be tears and beers and

tears and more beers.

Probably wrap the evening up with another round of tears, perhaps followed

some beers.

It sounds great.

Yeah? Yeah.

See, that wasn't too painful, was it? Not at all.

Anne, this is Molly Hudson.

Molly, this is Anne Goodhill. Hi, it's nice to meet you.

I once had a dog named Molly.

I'm sorry, I'm late for a, uh...

Brent. Hudson, wait.

What's wrong? Nothing. Nothing at all. I mean, of course, there's the looming

decay of America's infrastructure, but aside from that, I can't think of

anything. You're upset about Anne?

No, upset? No, not at all. I mean, you and I, we have no relationship. There's

no commitment. I'm dating like 40 or 50 other guys right now. Hey.

Am I not Captain Fun?

Yes, you are.

Well, the fun doesn't necessarily have to stop just because I'm seeing other

people, right?

I know, but I'm just not the kind of person that likes to see other people.

just said you were dating like 40 or 50 other guys. Yeah, yeah. I was lying.

But I am dating one other guy, and I'm not very good at doing two things at

once. What if I just did one thing at once?

Well, then, you wouldn't be you.

If Mr. Mitchell walks out on the agreement, he will cost my client and

company the contract, plus a substantial amount of money.

So I see.

Thank you, your arbitratorship. Roundabout novelty plans about balls on

convenience stores, fast food restaurants, sports stadiums, movie

Walmart. That's over two million balls a month. That's a lot of balls.

Excuse me. It is a lot of balls. It's a lot of money. But they'll only do that

if they get both Jeff and Ron.

Mr. Mitchell, since this seems to hinge on you, let's hear your side.

Well, it's pretty simple, really. I can't do it anymore. I can't. I'm

I'm tired.

I'm ready for a change.

Now.

Mr. Mitchell, if you were in this alone, you would have every right to walk

away. However, you're not in this alone.

Your actions have a profound impact on your partner and the company you two

founded. You really want me to be miserable?

I can't force you to remain in the company against your will.

However, if you walk out on the agreement you and Mr. Foster signed

terms of the contract with Roundabout Novelty are met, you'll forfeit your

in Balls on Top.

I poured all of my savings into the company. I would have nothing.

Come on, Jeff.

Come on, Jeff.

I still say I should have had a preview.

Does trust mean nothing to you?

Sit back,

my friend. See how it's done.

I think you'll find it's everything I said.

This is great.

It's all original. I mean...

It's got a real nostalgic feel about it. I like it. Thanks, we try.

I don't get a feel of what it's like to be in the center of things.

Shirley, I guess that means go ahead.

What the?

Oh, I have no idea.

Don't look at me, Stucky Boys. I take pride in my work, man.

This is just plain sad.

Sad. Phil!

Fantastic! I love it!

Seriously? You're interested?

Yeah! This place is perfect! Why don't we go to my office and draw up an offer,

hmm?

And I'll give you a call a little later.

Congratulations.

Thanks.

I guess.

You know anything about what it would be like if camels had breasts?

Plenty of camels, of course.

Actually, they do, just not like you're thinking.

Who gave the check, please?

Oh, yeah, come on, man. You haven't eaten that pie yet. You can't go to the

shop and not get pie.

No, no, thanks. I'm good.

Put that away. Let me get this.

That's, uh, used to take a dude from my old buddy Mitch.

Thanks.

Well, uh, it's been great to see you around.

Oh, how about some, uh, a little b -ball sometime?

Shoot a little hoop?

Sure, um, maybe next week?

Okay,

uh, Mitch, how about, uh, how about tomorrow night? You busy tomorrow night?

Hey, you guys, thanks for coming in so early.

Now, as you probably heard, um, an offer on Stucky Bowl last night. Yeah, it's

probably bogus. That guy had Charlotte written all over him. And I declined the

offer. Thanks, really.

It's about time you start acting like a man. Don't be following a woman to the

city. I'm still going. I'm still selling.

I have my buyers.

Well, you need to bring the buyers around so we can see what they look

What are you looking at?

I took the liberty of drawing up a limited partnership between Goggins,

and Pipco and a sales agreement wherein the purchase price of Stucky Bowl will

be spread out over...

The next 20 years.

Holy Spicoli.

What do you mean? You selling the bowling alley to us?

That's right.

Yeah, but it's not going to actually cost you anything, right?

That's right. I mean, you'll... It's somewhat complicated, but instead of

getting the salaries that you get now, you get profit shares, and these profit

shares would be roughly equivalent to the salaries you get now, and the profit

shares should more than cover the cost of the monthly payment.

Why would you do that if you're not going to profit from it?

Well, let's just say I have three pretty good reasons, Eli.

So all this is ours?

Yep.

All yours.

Take a watch, you know you're all right.

Even if you are whipped.

What, are we not doing that bit again?

Because he said whipped.

Let's not check that.

Um, I should have called.

I'm sorry.

Why? I'm just making a sandwich. You hungry?

No, I already ate.

Something to drink?

I'm good, thanks.

Come on, Molly, you're not helping me stall the bad news here.

Who said I've got bad news?

Well, if you were planning to move in, you probably wouldn't have knocked.

You would have used the key.

I'm right, aren't I?

I'm sorry.

Don't be.

No. I was rushing things.

Look, we'll get there when we get there. Right?

Molly?

I... It's just that I don't think this is a good idea to continue this.

What?

What do you mean? Why?

It would be unfair.

You are such a great guy, Sean.

But...

I'm not the guy.

And I sort of had a feeling this was coming.

You did?

The thoughts of women are transparent to me.

It's a gift.

I'm sorry.

Me too.

Jeff. You said there were some papers inside.

Well, that's exactly what I said. Sorry for all the mess here. We're down to the

last minute moving hell here. Just take a minute.

Want me to help you here? Yeah, please. Thanks.

You know, maybe if you brace it underneath.

Like this?

There you go.

All right. Thank you, Jeff.

Could you get this side?

Okay, yeah, sure.

Hey there.

You got this, Bosco? I got it. Thanks, Bill.

Hey!

Hey, Jeff!

Yeah? Yeah, listen.

Ow! I realize this is a little extreme, but, uh, you know, I was trying to think

outside the box, you know, to find a way to get you to see Ron's point of view,

and then I thought to myself, self, you shouldn't be thinking outside the box.

You should be thinking inside the box.

Go on.

Well, I realize you won the arbitration, Jeff, but here's the thing.

Ron isn't just your business partner. He's your friend.

And do you have any idea what you're doing to them by forcing them to stay at

balls on top?

Keeping them inside the box? That's right. Good answer.

You know what you do to someone when you keep them inside a box?

They turn violent? Let me out of here!

They wither and die.

When you force someone to stay inside a box, they wither and die.

How long are you keeping me in here?

Creatively. They wither and die creatively. You don't want that for Ron.

a business partner, not as a friend, do you? No, I suppose I don't. All right,

that's the end of the...

Right, here's what you're going to do. You and Ron, you're going to put your

heads together, all right? You're going to think outside the box. You're going

to come up with a solution that works for both of you, okay?

If I say yes, will you let me out of here? Maybe after lunch.

I should have reacted differently to your big news. I just want to say that.

really proud of you, and congratulations.

Hey, Warren.

Hey.

Um, thank you, Warren, but why are you dressed like the Monopoly man?

Atmosphere. Ah, atmosphere. For what?

Oh, not me. This is all Warren.

Thought it'd be nice to send you off in style.

After you, m 'lady.

I feel my work here is done.

You've mastered all the lessons I've taught you, grasshopper.

Thanks, Warren.

No, Warren, it's heavy. It's really, I put a lot of... Warren.

Warren, thank you. This is wonderful.

Sure, there are a lot of things about New York that you're going to love.

Oh.

Sweetie, can I help?

I got it. Thank you.

Thank you, old figment.

Take the long way.

We're really doing this? We really are.

So then I say, Gotham? I hardly knew him.

Hey,

hey, who's that over there?

Your little friend you've been palling around with all night. What?

Oh, hey, that's my old buddy Mitch. We've been hanging out a lot lately.

Yeah? Good guy?

Oh, great guy. The best.

Thanks.

Well, here you go.

Thanks.

Hey, Mitch, ten bucks to put your head in that punch bowl.

What? Ten bucks, Mitch.

Why would I want to stick my head in a punch bowl for ten bucks?

It's hilarious.

No, thanks.

See, man, it's hilarious.

That'll be ten bucks.

I never said I'd give you ten bucks.

I gotta go.

Come on, Mitch. These are good times, man.

Hey, Mitch!

Hey!

Oh, hey, Jeff. Thanks for coming.

Sure. I figured this is my last chance to bring you these.

What are these?

Big apples.

That's great. Thank you.

Ron and I had a long talk.

I'm letting them out.

John, that's the right choice.

I really didn't have one.

I hear you.

Oh, that box thing you did? Yeah.

Pretty lame. Yeah.

You okay?

I am.

Oh, no, I made the right decision.

I had this dream that you and Sean would move in together and get married and

have little baby firefighters and principals.

Well, that ain't going to happen.

And you know what? You have got to get a life. You cannot continue living

vicariously through me. It's not healthy.

What am I going to do without you?

Suffer.

Did you see me juggle the old apple?

Yeah, I did.

You can't come to New York.

What? Can you honestly say you want to leave all this?

Yeah, I said I would, and I'm prepared to go. I know you said that you would,

but I can't make you do this. I'm going to stay in Secuville.

What? Yeah, sure.

I'll submit my stuff to another magazine. I'll find one that doesn't

move. No, no, no, no. Carol, you did not pass up an opportunity like this. Ed,

you mean more to me than this stupid job. You mean more to me than this

place. It's not a stupid place. It's not a stupid job.

Then what?

You go.

You stay?

We'll make it work. We'll make it work.

It's kind of scary.

Think of all the frequent flyer mileage.

Hey there, good song.

News out here.

Ed and Carol were leaving Stuckyville, I just... I'm not leaving.

What? Yeah, I'm not leaving. Carol and I decided together that the best thing to

do here would be for me to stay with y 'all and for Carol to go to New York

because the plan is, you see, for Carol to become a big famous writer so I can

sit on my big fat butt all day and play video games.

Works for me.

Okay, well, I will make it short and sweet.

Carol?

Kick some New York ass.

Yeah!

All right.

So, I'll call you tonight from the hotel.

I'll wait up.

And you're coming next weekend, right? I already got my ticket.

Still have to change the date.

that way.

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