All language subtitles for Ed s04e05 Death, Debt, and Dating

Previously on Ed.

Do you know anything about Ryan, old
dad?

Nothing really. I think he's a fireman.

Really? Oh, my God. You like him, don't
you?

Gosh, Carol, am I just being horrible?

What do you mean?

I'm using a student troubled as an
excuse to hit on dad.

I like you, Molly.

I like you, too.

Hey, Carol. Hi.

Is that weird for everybody?

Yeah, kind of. Why is this so awkward?
It's awkward. It's awkward.

A little bit awkward. Yeah, it's
awkward. But you know what? I think

fine. That's normal. We're going to
transition after all.

This is the one.

For once in your life, stop thinking.

Do you think it's possible that you and
I were just meant to be friends?

I don't know.

The problem is I don't think I can be
friends with you.

Why? Because I already got plenty of
friends.

Remember the whole maybe we were just
meant to be friends thing? Yeah.

We were never to speak of that again.
Never. It was forbidden. Yes, they do. I

think we just would carry that pretty
well.

Morning, Shirley.

Good morning. There's someone who would
like to see you.

All right.

Thank you.

So when you said that he wanted to see
me, you really meant that he wanted...

That he wished to see you, yes.

Okay.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Don't open
that.

Elaine, don't open yet, Mr. Fitts. You
know that. Well, I'll open them up,

fellas. How hard can it be to throw up
the damn switch? No, wait, wait.

Right.

Hold on.

What was that about? I'm sorry.

When I heard about a bowling alley
lawyer, I thought you might be down and

Hungry. Maybe you work cheap.

Oh. But I see you're doing well. You're
the assistant designer bowling shirt.

I won't waste your time. Hold on. Hold
on. Listen to me, Stevens. Sometimes.

Why don't you tell me what the problem
is? Maybe we can work something out. I'm

Ed Stevens.

I know.

I'm Doug Tavel. Hey, Doug. Tell me, Mr.
Stevens. Call me Ed.

Ed.

Um. Are you happy here?

What?

Sure. What about your father?

What about my father? Do you think he's
disappointed that after putting you

through law school, you're not
practicing at some high -powered New

No, actually. I mean, I did that.

Is he happy with this career move? Not
at first, no. Did he threaten to sue

No, of course not. What kind of father
is going to... Your father's suing you?

Yeah. For what? For disappointing him?

Basically. Ouch.

Listen, Doug, why don't you come back
inside and we'll... You ladies can do.

I brought you some breakfast.

I'm in the sky tonight There I can

keep by your side Watching the white

Yeah, this seems like a pretty basic
breach of contract. Your father claims

you've reimbursed him for the cost of
your college education plus dental

Thank you.

$150 ,000.

Oh, wow. That's a fair number, you
think?

Figuring out -of -state tuition.

Yeah, probably. It adds up.

Well, I guess my first question would
be... Was there a contract?

Absolutely not.

I never signed anything.

Well, contracts aren't always written.
They can be verbal, oral. I didn't say

anything. No? Nothing like, I will pay
you back every penny, I promise.

No. Where's that effect? Absolutely not.

The only reason why my dad is doing this
is because he's angry with me.

Why? Because once I started my
internship, I realized it wasn't what I

So I quit.

Your father's disappointed.

I guess you can't blame him. No, but I
do expect him to understand.

My father owns a hardware store. He
hates it. I can't remember a day growing

where he didn't dread going to work.

Is that any way to live?

No, it's not.

So why does he want to punish me?

Why does he want me to do something
that'll make me as... miserable as he

Oh, hey there, fellas. I'll have a beer
and a corndog. I am not a waiter. Lots

of mustard, the yellow kind.

Mr. Fish, must we go through this every
week? You cannot lob the ball onto the

lane. If you do it again...

I'm going to ask you to leave. Oh, my
sincerest apologies, Phyllis. You know,

the ball must be too light. I'll try one
with a bit more heft.

Sorry,

Dolly. I believe this ball is mine.

Problem solved.

I'm serious. Do not lob the ball.

I won't lob the ball.

I'm not messing around. Do not lob the
ball. I won't lob the ball.

Want to dance?

Let's go.

I'm on

to you.

The man is dead. He can't hear you.

Somebody take the whole thing just so we
can leave without bowling shoes.

I just can't get it out of my mind. What
kind of parents do their own child?

A really bad one? I don't know. I have
never heard of anything like that

In that case, I would like to speak with
the chef.

The chef?

You mean the cook?

Cook. Please let the cook know that I
would like to have a word with him.

He's not going to come out here. I'm not
trying to be difficult.

There's very little chicken and nothing
Chinese about this salad.

Do you agree?

It could use a little more chicken.

She agrees. Tell the cook that there are
two people who would like to see him.

You are joking, right?

Fine. We'll go to him.

We?

Almonds? Do you have almonds?

You shouldn't be here.

A Chinese chicken salad with no mandarin
oranges. Maybe you shouldn't be here.

Here.

Taste this.

Oh.

That is incredible.

What's the dressing again? Ginger and...
Mango.

Mango. That is amazing.

Where'd you learn how to do that?

Hong Kong.

I'm Ted, by the way. I'm Molly.

Molly Hutton.

So, Ted.

Have you ever been to Stockholm?

No. Why?

Because the Swedish meatballs could
really use your help.

At the side, dead man's walking shoes.

So what the hell are you doing?

I doubt the extremely late Mr. Fish is
going to need him where he's going.

but it don't mean you got to throw him
out and call his family or something. I

don't have a family. I called the
hospital to get our bowling shoes back.

got no family, no friends.

No surprise.

Damn, that's probably why he spent all
his time here.

And didn't have no life. Poor man.

Yeah. Well, thankfully, the curtain has
closed on our time with the odious Mr.

Fish. Oh, come on, Phil, man. The dude
just probably wanted some human contact.

That's why he would come here and pull
all that crap. So he can get some

attention. Then he'd probably go back
home to his lonely life.

You ought to know about that.

Will and Living Trust.

It's good you guys are taking care of
this. This is important.

I know. We've been putting it off since
Sarah was born.

Then Mr. Fish kicked. Speaking for
myself, that was a real wake -up call.

Fish was 73, Mike. I don't know. I was
promised to know him, my friend.

Mortgages, pledges, deeds of trust, all
pretty straightforward.

Oh, hang on. Except question 15.

Any of you guys filled out question 15?

Case of untimely death. Who shall care
for your children?

That would be Sarah.

Yeah. No, Ed. We just couldn't decide on
an answer.

And you discussed it? We fought.

We've argued.

Cast aspersions on one of those
families. Can't say we've actually

Well, you need to.

Come back when you have.

Sounds obnoxious. No, no.

He had to be there. He did it in a very
unobnoxious way.

Anyways, the sounds weren't better.

So they offered him a job?

Well, they should have.

Nah, he talked to Matt.

Watch the crew. Yeah, I got it, I got
it. No, punch it. You're gonna... Crash.

Tried to warn you. Yeah, I know.

Well, you're not leaving? Yeah, but I
killed her. Then it's late.

Oh, come on. One more game.

You said that like, what, an hour ago?

I T -vote trading spaces.

Now you tell me. Both couples hated
their rooms.

You really are cruel.

You know that?

Well, Jared, did you get that
scrumptious tan in Iowa City?

What's wrong with the photo box? What's
wrong with the photo box?

He's troubled.

Here, look at this. See this?

This picture of your cousin Bert?

Picture of your cousin Bert with his
hand stuck in the pickle jar? The photo

makes us fight. It doesn't make us
fight. Question number 15 makes us

we have to answer it.

Honey, we have got to choose someone to
take care of Sarah in case we... In case

we die?

Yeah, in case we die.

Oh, look at that.

My cousin Margaret. Sarah loves her.

And she's got the twins to play with.

In Nevada?

I want Sarah to grow up here.

My parents. They're perfect.

They're perfectly old.

I mean, come on. You really want Sarah
to have to try to rush off from

cheerleading practice to try to make her
the early bird special?

I'm telling you, Nancy, the answer to
question 15 is not in the photo box.

Well, it has to be in here. Our entire
families are in here.

Well, maybe our families aren't the
answer.

What does that mean?

Oh, maybe we should pick one of our
friends.

I hadn't thought of that.

Harold was great.

Yeah, what about Ed? It would be great,
sir. I loved it.

And Molly.

Yeah, Molly. Definitely Molly.

They all have good jobs and nice homes.

I think it matters that none of them are
married. One parent, two parents. I go

for quality over quantity.

Now, how about that?

We had nothing, and now we have an
embarrassment of riches.

Yeah, but how do we choose?

To rather than some kind of parenting
test we could give.

Excuse me.

Gus?

Gus Tovel?

That's me.

What can I do you for? We got everything
from scoop to nuts.

That's a little hardware humor.

That's good stuff.

That's great. No, not here for the
hardware or the humor.

I'm actually hoping to talk to you about
your son.

Barry, what did you do?

Oh, no, sorry. Not that son. Different
son.

You must be Doug's attorney.

Ed Stevens. Yes, sir. Listen, about this
so -called contract. You know, Mr.

Tavel, Doug is, as I'm sure you're
aware, he's adamant in his belief that

never entered in any kind of oral
contract with you.

He's lying.

He's lying?

All right.

Well, maybe you could tell me then when
this agreement took place.

Right after his 18th birthday.

He'd just gotten accepted to the
University of Wisconsin. We had a little

a surprise party to celebrate.

So you're at the party, and while you're
at the party, you tell him he's got to

pay you back. Is that right? No.

It was his idea. He felt bad because he
knew how tight the money was.

No offense, Mr. Tavel, but...

Did anyone else happen to overhear this
conversation?

It happened. Drop the suit.

Drop the suit, Mr. Talley. You're not
going to win.

Mr. Stevens, did Doug tell you what he's
been doing since he left school?

No, sir. He's a handyman.

Barely makes enough money to hold on.

And yet he seems happy.

Well, what about the rest of us? When do
we get to be happy?

My wife hasn't had a vacation in seven
years. My daughter never got a honeymoon

because she and her husband had to pay
for their own wedding.

Barry? He's stuck here sorting nails
because I can't afford part -time help.

know why?

Because every dime I made went to pay
for Doug's schooling.

Now, if he wants to drop out, I can't
stop him.

But I sure as hell intend to make him
live up to our agreement.

Miss Bessie, can I talk to you for a
minute? Of course.

Warren! Sorry, but what I have to say is
of a highly confidential nature.

Teachers, you're like priests, right?
You're like shrinks, like what I say to

you stays between us.

No, not exactly, Warren. Why don't you
tell me what it is? No, no, no. I have

know that what I say does not leave this
room.

Promise me, Miss Bessie, please.

It could ruin me.

Fine. I promise, Warren. I won't tell
anyone.

I'm pregnant with a young woman.

What? Are you sure?

Has she seen a doctor?

No, she took one of those pregnancy
tests. Three of them. Well, they can be

wrong, Warren. She needs to see a
doctor.

Did you use protection?

Yes! Oh, God. It's so embarrassing.

Yeah, I don't know what's wrong with me.

Maybe I'm just, like, unusually fertile.

My loins must be teeming with life.

Um, Warren, you have to tell your
parents. No, no.

They won't understand.

They'd kill me.

Well, how about her parents? Do they
know? You're the first person we've

Help me, Miss Bessie, please.

I'm too young to be a father.

I'm here,

Warren.

You don't have to go through this alone.

I'm here, Warren.

You don't have to go through this alone.
She actually said that. Yeah, you don't

have to take my word for it. I mean,
just listen for yourself.

Oh, God, this is wrong. This is just so
wrong.

Warren, I am so sorry we got you
involved in this. I promise we'll tell

Betsy everything as soon as we find a
guardian for Sarah.

Easy,

man. Suck it up.

A man has to get a woman pregnant and a
man has to handle a little pain.

Hey, Hudson.

Hey, Chef Ted.

Give you a lift somewhere?

No, no, I'm just out getting some fresh
air. Are you kidding?

I was just going to get some fresh air.
How about you join me?

Hang on!

Here we go!

Did he seem angry?

Let's just say he seemed pretty
determined.

Yeah, I kind of got that feeling when he
sued me. Right.

So, should I be worried? I don't think
so. In all likelihood, this thing is

going to come down to your word against
his.

That's not going to be enough for a
judge. I imagine the whole thing will

tossed.

Yeah.

I will teach him to try and control my
life.

Yeah, Doug, you know, you're aware,
though, that he has given up a lot for

I mean, your whole family has.

Come on, Ed, you're supposed to be my
lawyer.

You're right. I am. I am. It's just, not
that I agree with what he's done, I

don't, but he's made sacrifices.

This doesn't have anything to do with
sacrifices.

He just wants me to be miserable because
he is.

It bothers him that I might actually be
happy.

Do you believe that?

Yeah, I do.

Hey, old man, where you disappear to?

Interesting factoid.

When a deceased has no family and no one
claims the body, the state has it

cremated. After that, they're just happy
to get rid of it.

Is that... Indeed it is. Mr. Fish has
returned.

Phil, what the hell is wrong with you,
man? What kind of mad twist of revenge

are you planning? No revenge.

We're going to throw a memorial for Mr.
Fish.

Wait, what? The man died on our watch.
We can hardly afford talk of a cover

I think it's a perfectly appropriate
idea.

Check this out.

Is it bling -bling?

No, it's an urn.

Mr. Fish's final resting place.

It's an urn with bling -bling.

No, you... That's so nasty. That's
nasty.

Phil, that's nasty.

Well, that's chunkier than I expected.

Welcome back, Mr. Fish.

You flew?

I didn't.

Ted did. And it was amazing. It was like
we were in this old Buick convertible

in the sky and we spun and we dove and
we looped and we... Okay, stop. You're

making me dizzy.

Molly, you barely know this guy. Did you
at least have to see his pilot places?

I didn't have to. I trusted him.

Is that smart?

One day he's a chef, the next day he's a
pilot. No, he's a chef and a pilot, and

a good pilot. He's also a scuba diver
and a sky diver and a mountain climber

a bungee jumper.

Since when did you become his extreme
supreme?

I didn't. I'm having fun. He's a fun
guy.

I know, I know, and it's great.

But I just wish we knew a little more
about him. Like what?

Like, does he have a real job?

Yeah, he's a consultant.

Does he have a real job?

Carol.

I just went for a ride. What are you so
worried about?

I don't like the idea of you going up in
planes with strangers.

You're right, you know, I should have
kept my big mouth shut. I'm his

right? It's not my place to make him a
better person, try to educate him.

Thank him. All you did was ask Doug to
look at things from his father's

perspective. There's nothing wrong with
that.

Yeah. You know, if I had said something
to him in high school, maybe he wouldn't

be in this situation now.

Doug was your student?

Yep.

Really?

What was he like?

Honestly, lazy.

Really? And if you believe the stories,
kind of wild.

Yeah?

Hey, Shirley, what's up?

Mr. Snow for the prosecution.

Ah, great.

Mr. Tavel's attorney.

Hopefully here to tell me they're
dropping the suit. Hey, Mr. Snow. Mr.

I don't believe we've met. James. Nice
to meet you. I apologize for not

Well, not at all. Actually, I was
expecting you. Is that right?

Yeah, I'm hoping you're here to tell me
your client's come to a sense this is a

drop in the suit against my client.

No. Ah, come on, Mr.

Snow. We're talking about word against
word on a verbal agreement with no

evidence in sight.

Well, then, why don't you take a look at
that?

My parents had a book for me when I got
my acceptance letter at Wisconsin.

My brother must have shot this.

College boy.

Are you sure we can afford it?

That's your education.

Don't you worry.

We'll figure something out.

Okay. But I'm going to pay you back
every penny. I promise. I want to.

All right.

No, Ed, I swear.

Well, fortunately, you don't have to
because it's right here for everyone to

see, including a judge.

How bad is this?

Well, about $150 ,000 bad, I'd say.

Yeah, no, listen, I'll discuss the offer
with my client. We'll get back to you

as soon as we can.

Right, okay. Yeah, you too.

Sorry about the stuff on the table.

How bad?

First, you need to understand one thing.
What?

If the case goes to court, Doug, there's
a very, very strong chance the judge

will rule in favor of your father.

Maybe we should just let him.

I don't have $150 ,000.

You can't take what I don't have.

Well, unfortunately, they can't. The
court will establish a payment schedule

garnish your wages from here on out. But
I'm barely getting by now.

What am I supposed to live on?

Son of a bitch.

Okay.

What did his attorney say?

Well, at least your father is willing to
drop the suit. Give the debt.

As long as you go back to school and
finish.

I'm not going back. Okay, Doug, listen,
as you would. No, my father's not going

to run my life. He's not going to make
me a dentist or anything else just to

make him happy. I understand. I
understand. Truly, I do. But giving your

right now, can one year really be that
bad? Yes, because it would mean that he

won again.

And he always wins. It always has to be
his way with everything.

Right down to the picking the school.

Does that mean your father chose
Wisconsin?

Yeah, it was a big deal to him that I'd
follow in his footsteps.

He went to Wisconsin, so I was going to
Wisconsin.

I won't settle it.

I won't give him the satisfaction.

Yeah, hi.

Madison, Wisconsin, please.

Yeah, the University of Wisconsin
Admissions Department. Thank you.

Ed! Thank God I found you. What's going
on? Right there. She's fallen into a

vent shaft.

Oh, my God.

Where's the vent shaft? In the park.
Come on, get in there in a hurry.

I don't see her. You sure she's down
there? Oh, she's down there. Why else

Bun Bun be here? Sarah never goes
anywhere without Bun Bun. She never goes

anywhere without Bun Bun. Colin, take it
easy there, pal. Maybe she just

wandered off somewhere. You don't know.
Yeah, but what if she didn't? What if

she's down there? We've got to go down
there. I've got to know. I've got to

know. All right, well, maybe we should
wait for the fire department.

The fire department? What's wrong with
you? Why didn't I call the fire

department? Don't beat yourself up over
this. We can call them now. Call them

now. We don't have time.

What? Well, how are we going to do it? I
mean, how are we going to get down

there? What are we going to do? How are
we going to do it?

Where'd you get the rope? Tie this
around your ankles and it'll lower you

My ankles?

I'd do it myself, but my shoulders are
too damn broad to go through the rope.

Hey, come on.

Give me the rope.

Really, you're going to do it?

I'll do it. Absolutely, I'll do it. For
Sarah, I'll do anything.

I can't tell you how much that means to
me, buddy. Get off.

Let's go. Come on. Grab the rope. Here I
go. I'm going in.

Mike! I found Sarah!

She was at home sleeping with Willie
Butch. Thank God.

Did I mention how much I hate doing this
to our friends?

I'm not sure I haven't been listening.

Well, you better hope we die young,
Mike. It's the only way they're going to

forgive us for doing this.

Bill,

what the hell is going on in Lane 6?

This was Mr. Fish's favorite lane. I
thought, out of respect, we should close

till after the memorial.

Respect? Respect for who? You couldn't
stand Fish.

You know what? I am simply trying to
send a message that Stucky Bowl is a

that cares.

And customers eat this crap up. You know
what? I'm on to you. You think you got

everybody fool stuff, but I'm on to you.

I think it's very thoughtful.

Yeah, exactly.

But when the last time he did anything
even close to thoughtful?

Never. That's right. You know why?
Because Phil is a constant.

He's like the speed of light.

He don't change. Never. You follow me?
He don't change. Never. That's right.

You know what? This memorial has nothing
to do with fish.

It's about Phil, just like everything
else. You know how I know?

Because Phil is a constant. That's
right.

You know, it's sad, really.

When Phil looks at fish, he sees the
future Phil.

Old, dead, and all alone with no one to
cry over his shriveled up ass.

You know, when it comes down to it, this
memorial is about Phil.

Hey, Mom.

Hi, Dad.

Hi, Sarah.

Wow, what do you have there?

It's beautiful. Did you make that?

Yeah. It's so cute.

I'm so sorry to barge in, but I need a
really big favor.

Name it. Kids are in my office, and
Mike's running late. Can she stay here?

Absolutely. Oh, except I'm not going to
be here. I have to go out to my weekly

budget meeting. Oh, go, go. She'll be
fine. She's got her art supplies and her

books and stuff. And Eunice outruns, and
she keeps an eye on her, so.

Are you sure?

Positive. Okay. All right.

Bye, pumpkin.

Gosh, you're so cute.

Bye, honey. Bye -bye, honey.

Okay, honey. Here, but just one quick
second. I'm going to be right back.

Oh, no, I'm like a stealth bomber,
invisible despite my size.

Who said that?

Very cute. How much time do we have?
Half an hour, maybe.

All right, then.

Showtime. Oh, my God. I hate it when you
talk like we're in an action film.

Sorry.

Let's do this thing.

I can't see.

She's crying.

No, she's laughing.

I guess we should go get Sarah.

Wait a minute.

Maybe she cleaned up the mess we made.

Mike, now.

It's just around the other side of the
side. Thank you.

Hey, Pavel.

Did Doug accept my offer?

To go back to college?

No.

I guess I expected that.

Can I ask you a question?

I suppose.

You hate your job?

As Doug says, you can't remember a time
you weren't miserable working here.

I don't give it a whole lot of thought.

It's a job.

Not the job you wanted, though.

What are you getting at? Well, what I'm
getting at is, Doug told me you studied

at the University of Wisconsin also, so
I took the liberty and checked the

records. You studied in their
architecture program?

So? So, what I found out was you dropped
out before you finished, and I thought,

gosh, that sounds familiar.

It's not the same.

No? I was struggling.

If I hadn't quit, I probably would have
flunked out.

Does Doug know about any of this?

There's no reason he should. Oh, see, I
disagree.

You know what I think?

I think this isn't about the money. I
think this never was about the money.

know what I think this is about?

You're not wanting Doug to make the same
mistake you did. I think this whole

thing is one gigantic wake -up call.
Well, what if it is?

Isn't that a parent's job?

To share the wisdom that comes from
living with mistakes?

To hope they don't repeat them?

Well, sure, by talking to them, sharing
your experiences, not by suing them.

This is a private matter, Mr. Stevens.

There's some things that Doug doesn't
need to know.

See, I disagree.

Here's the thing.

When you brought the suit against your
son, it ceased being a private matter

because you got me involved. So talk to
your son, Mr. Tavel, or I will.

We'll figure it out.

Okay. But I'm going to pay you back
every penny, I promise.

You know, no matter how many times you
watch it, he's still going to say the

same thing.

I know. It's just... Thank you. How can
he say...

He didn't remember.

It doesn't make sense.

Oh, like he's lying.

Unless he really doesn't remember.

Wait, when was the shot? What time of
day?

Night, I think. There's lights on in the
room. Why?

You said Doug was a wild man, right?

Mm -hmm.

As promised, safe and sound. It's still
time for a quick shower before school.

Shower? Uh -uh, that ain't gonna get it
done.

What do you say I hop in the back and
you drive us through a car wash?

You're all right, Hudson.

I like the way you think.

Oh, well, ain't so bad yourself.

Anyways, um, thank you. I had a great
time. Anytime.

See you around.

I don't know, the kid's all set. Wait a
minute.

Is that Molly?

Sure looks like her. Who's she with? If
I'm not mistaken, his name is Ted.

Interesting.

Hey, college boy.

Are you sure we can afford it? It's your
education.

Don't you worry.

We'll figure something out. Okay.

But I'm going to pay you back every
penny. I'm done.

I want to.

Does an explicit oral agreement exist
between Doug and Gus Tabel?

I think you just heard it.

Nothing further, Your Honor. Mr.
Stevens.

Thank you.

It would please the court to indulge me
about watching this video one more time.

Is there something I missed the first
time? I believe so, Your Honor.

Now, what's being said isn't actually
what's important. What matters, rather,

what Doug's wearing.

His clothing?

More precisely, his sunglasses.

Your Honor, I don't see the relevance.
The relevance, Your Honor, is that night

time's dark.

Yet my client's wearing sunglasses at
night. Why is he wearing sunglasses at

night and indoors yet? Trying to be
cool.

Trying to be cool, right. The veritable
Corey Hart. No, I would suggest that

he's wearing sunglasses at night to hide
something from his father, his eyes.

Your Honor. Trying to hide his eyes from
his father, Your Honor, because he

knows his eyes would give him away. Eyes
would betray him because on the night

that Doug was accepted into college, he
and three of his friends celebrated by

smoking a little marijuana.

Doug got high. His judgment was
impaired.

So impaired, as a matter of fact, he
doesn't even remember having this

conversation.

So, Your Honor, I move this matter be
dismissed due to the diminished capacity

of my client. How can he be held to a
contract he doesn't even remember

into? Your Honor, this is ridiculous.

Are we simply to accept Mr. Stevens'
word for his client's state of mind on

evening? You don't have to, Your Honor.

So I have right here three sworn
affidavits from three of Doug's friends,

three friends that he partied with that
evening. Now these friends have nothing

to gain by exposing themselves, and yet
they're willing to testify. In the

meantime, I have three sworn statements
right here. Your Honor, please.

I'm going to need a recess while I
consider this new evidence and review

tape. Thank you, Your Honor.

Motorcycles.

Since when do you ride motorcycles?

Since this morning.

Ted took me.

I gotta tell you, it was the most
fantastic... How do you know? I saw you

street.

So, Miles, are you seeing Ted?

No, no, it's not like that.

What's it like?

It's just this.

Amazing force of energy.

You know, he looks at life as a big
adventure, and if you're lucky enough to

caught in his wake, you just get swept
up in it.

It's exhilarating.

Or should I leave Sean?

I told you, I am not seeing Ted. Just
spending an awful lot of time with him.

All right, you win. I like him. Ha!

But nothing has happened.

Nothing. And Sean?

He's a good guy, Molly.

I know. He's a great guy. He really is.
And we're very comfortable with each

other. It's just that I'm starting to
think that there's something missing.

what? I don't know. I can't put my
finger on it.

Zing? Zing? Yeah, you know, sparks,
excitement, surprise.

Have you talked to Sean about this? How
do you tell a guy he's got no zing?

What will you tell him?

Between the tape and weighing the
evidence, it's clear that Doug Tavel was

in control of his faculties at the time.

Though it pains me to reward a youthful,
not to mention a legal, transgression,

I find for the defendant.

Congratulations. Thank you. You're
welcome.

I hope you in no way consider this a
victory.

Mr. Talbot, your son's a young man right
now. You've got to let him live his own

life, make his own decisions. Otherwise,
you're going to lose him.

Do you have any children?

Nope.

Yeah, maybe you can't understand.

No matter how old they get, you never
stop being a parent.

You never stop wanting what's best for
them.

Oh, wait, let me guess. You got a call
from Mike and Nancy.

Yeah. Do you have any idea what this is
about? No, not a clue.

Congratulations, Carol.

You made it here in exactly 15 minutes
and 27 seconds.

Molly, 18 to 31.

Ed, 31 minutes and change.

At this point, I show to say the least.

So you call me, tell me to drop what I'm
doing and hurry over here as fast as I

can, and then when I get here, you tell
me I'm not fast enough.

When you have a child, you're often
asked to drop whatever it is you're

and put their needs ahead of your own.

I don't have a child. You could.

You could have Sarah.

What? Mike and I needed some custody of
Sarah if anything happens to us.

We wanted to pick one of you guys. We
couldn't decide who.

And as dumb as it sounds, we've been
testing you.

That thing with Warren, we wanted to see
how you would react to someone you

cared about doing something really
stupid.

Yeah, the thing with the vent shaft, it
was like crisis management kind of

thing.

Don't tell me.

Sarah didn't trash my office. You did.
Yeah.

You guys, please don't hate us. Well,
there's varying degrees of hate. So,

really, this is how you guys thought
you'd do this, really? I'm with Ed.

You lied to us. Oh, come on, you guys.
This isn't about us. It's about Sarah.

No matter how stupid and insensitive
they were. And you were stupid and

insensitive.

But they did it for Sarah because they
love her and they want what's best for

her. We can't forget that.

Well, I think we've got a winner.

What? Those tests? They weren't the real
test.

They're just to annoy you. This is the
real test.

She would understand that as a parent,
you have to every once in a while make a

jackass out of yourself for the sake of
your kids. Well, you're doing a good job

with that. I think he's just making it
up as he goes along. Our grape said...

Molly, if anything happens to us, we
would love if you would be Sarah's

guardian. Yeah, but only if you want to.

Are you kidding?

Come on, I would be honored.

Well, there's question 15.

Wait a second.

Wait, wait.

I got here in 15 minutes and 27 seconds.

Doesn't that count for something?

Well, it does.

In the event of our untimely death,

Willie Butch is all yours.

Yeah, you get Willie Butch.

No.

Thank you all for coming.

I'm certain Mr. Fish would be delighted
to know how many of you came out tonight

to pay respects.

When do we get to bowl?

The lanes will reopen in 15 minutes.

William Fish was an obnoxious,
opinionated blowhard who

tried the nerves of everyone who ever
came into contact with him. Promise me

won't let stop speak at my service when
I die.

So why honor his memory?

Because he was here.

And while he was here, he made damn sure
you noticed him.

You may not have liked him, but I'll bet
you remember him.

Without further ado, the Stucky Bowl
Honor Guard will assist me in William

Fisher's final send -off with a 21 -ball
salute.

It contains the ashes of Mr. William
Fish.

Anything you want me to do?