Original subtitles

Previously on Ed.

Do you know anything about Ryan, old dad?

Nothing really. I think he's a fireman.

Really? Oh, my God. You like him, don't you?

Gosh, Carol, am I just being horrible?

What do you mean?

I'm using a student troubled as an excuse to hit on dad.

I like you, Molly.

I like you, too.

Hey, Carol. Hi.

Is that weird for everybody?

Yeah, kind of. Why is this so awkward? It's awkward. It's awkward.

A little bit awkward. Yeah, it's awkward. But you know what? I think

fine. That's normal. We're going to transition after all.

This is the one.

For once in your life, stop thinking.

Do you think it's possible that you and I were just meant to be friends?

I don't know.

The problem is I don't think I can be friends with you.

Why? Because I already got plenty of friends.

Remember the whole maybe we were just meant to be friends thing? Yeah.

We were never to speak of that again. Never. It was forbidden. Yes, they do. I

think we just would carry that pretty well.

Morning, Shirley.

Good morning. There's someone who would like to see you.

All right.

Thank you.

So when you said that he wanted to see me, you really meant that he wanted...

That he wished to see you, yes.

Okay.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Don't open that.

Elaine, don't open yet, Mr. Fitts. You know that. Well, I'll open them up,

fellas. How hard can it be to throw up the damn switch? No, wait, wait.

Right.

Hold on.

What was that about? I'm sorry.

When I heard about a bowling alley lawyer, I thought you might be down and

Hungry. Maybe you work cheap.

Oh. But I see you're doing well. You're the assistant designer bowling shirt.

I won't waste your time. Hold on. Hold on. Listen to me, Stevens. Sometimes.

Why don't you tell me what the problem is? Maybe we can work something out. I'm

Ed Stevens.

I know.

I'm Doug Tavel. Hey, Doug. Tell me, Mr. Stevens. Call me Ed.

Ed.

Um. Are you happy here?

What?

Sure. What about your father?

What about my father? Do you think he's disappointed that after putting you

through law school, you're not practicing at some high -powered New

No, actually. I mean, I did that.

Is he happy with this career move? Not at first, no. Did he threaten to sue

No, of course not. What kind of father is going to... Your father's suing you?

Yeah. For what? For disappointing him?

Basically. Ouch.

Listen, Doug, why don't you come back inside and we'll... You ladies can do.

I brought you some breakfast.

I'm in the sky tonight There I can

keep by your side Watching the white

Yeah, this seems like a pretty basic breach of contract. Your father claims

you've reimbursed him for the cost of your college education plus dental

Thank you.

$150 ,000.

Oh, wow. That's a fair number, you think?

Figuring out -of -state tuition.

Yeah, probably. It adds up.

Well, I guess my first question would be... Was there a contract?

Absolutely not.

I never signed anything.

Well, contracts aren't always written. They can be verbal, oral. I didn't say

anything. No? Nothing like, I will pay you back every penny, I promise.

No. Where's that effect? Absolutely not.

The only reason why my dad is doing this is because he's angry with me.

Why? Because once I started my internship, I realized it wasn't what I

So I quit.

Your father's disappointed.

I guess you can't blame him. No, but I do expect him to understand.

My father owns a hardware store. He hates it. I can't remember a day growing

where he didn't dread going to work.

Is that any way to live?

No, it's not.

So why does he want to punish me?

Why does he want me to do something that'll make me as... miserable as he

Oh, hey there, fellas. I'll have a beer and a corndog. I am not a waiter. Lots

of mustard, the yellow kind.

Mr. Fish, must we go through this every week? You cannot lob the ball onto the

lane. If you do it again...

I'm going to ask you to leave. Oh, my sincerest apologies, Phyllis. You know,

the ball must be too light. I'll try one with a bit more heft.

Sorry,

Dolly. I believe this ball is mine.

Problem solved.

I'm serious. Do not lob the ball.

I won't lob the ball.

I'm not messing around. Do not lob the ball. I won't lob the ball.

Want to dance?

Let's go.

I'm on

to you.

The man is dead. He can't hear you.

Somebody take the whole thing just so we can leave without bowling shoes.

I just can't get it out of my mind. What kind of parents do their own child?

A really bad one? I don't know. I have never heard of anything like that

In that case, I would like to speak with the chef.

The chef?

You mean the cook?

Cook. Please let the cook know that I would like to have a word with him.

He's not going to come out here. I'm not trying to be difficult.

There's very little chicken and nothing Chinese about this salad.

Do you agree?

It could use a little more chicken.

She agrees. Tell the cook that there are two people who would like to see him.

You are joking, right?

Fine. We'll go to him.

We?

Almonds? Do you have almonds?

You shouldn't be here.

A Chinese chicken salad with no mandarin oranges. Maybe you shouldn't be here.

Here.

Taste this.

Oh.

That is incredible.

What's the dressing again? Ginger and... Mango.

Mango. That is amazing.

Where'd you learn how to do that?

Hong Kong.

I'm Ted, by the way. I'm Molly.

Molly Hutton.

So, Ted.

Have you ever been to Stockholm?

No. Why?

Because the Swedish meatballs could really use your help.

At the side, dead man's walking shoes.

So what the hell are you doing?

I doubt the extremely late Mr. Fish is going to need him where he's going.

but it don't mean you got to throw him out and call his family or something. I

don't have a family. I called the hospital to get our bowling shoes back.

got no family, no friends.

No surprise.

Damn, that's probably why he spent all his time here.

And didn't have no life. Poor man.

Yeah. Well, thankfully, the curtain has closed on our time with the odious Mr.

Fish. Oh, come on, Phil, man. The dude just probably wanted some human contact.

That's why he would come here and pull all that crap. So he can get some

attention. Then he'd probably go back home to his lonely life.

You ought to know about that.

Will and Living Trust.

It's good you guys are taking care of this. This is important.

I know. We've been putting it off since Sarah was born.

Then Mr. Fish kicked. Speaking for myself, that was a real wake -up call.

Fish was 73, Mike. I don't know. I was promised to know him, my friend.

Mortgages, pledges, deeds of trust, all pretty straightforward.

Oh, hang on. Except question 15.

Any of you guys filled out question 15?

Case of untimely death. Who shall care for your children?

That would be Sarah.

Yeah. No, Ed. We just couldn't decide on an answer.

And you discussed it? We fought.

We've argued.

Cast aspersions on one of those families. Can't say we've actually

Well, you need to.

Come back when you have.

Sounds obnoxious. No, no.

He had to be there. He did it in a very unobnoxious way.

Anyways, the sounds weren't better.

So they offered him a job?

Well, they should have.

Nah, he talked to Matt.

Watch the crew. Yeah, I got it, I got it. No, punch it. You're gonna... Crash.

Tried to warn you. Yeah, I know.

Well, you're not leaving? Yeah, but I killed her. Then it's late.

Oh, come on. One more game.

You said that like, what, an hour ago?

I T -vote trading spaces.

Now you tell me. Both couples hated their rooms.

You really are cruel.

You know that?

Well, Jared, did you get that scrumptious tan in Iowa City?

What's wrong with the photo box? What's wrong with the photo box?

He's troubled.

Here, look at this. See this?

This picture of your cousin Bert?

Picture of your cousin Bert with his hand stuck in the pickle jar? The photo

makes us fight. It doesn't make us fight. Question number 15 makes us

we have to answer it.

Honey, we have got to choose someone to take care of Sarah in case we... In case

we die?

Yeah, in case we die.

Oh, look at that.

My cousin Margaret. Sarah loves her.

And she's got the twins to play with.

In Nevada?

I want Sarah to grow up here.

My parents. They're perfect.

They're perfectly old.

I mean, come on. You really want Sarah to have to try to rush off from

cheerleading practice to try to make her the early bird special?

I'm telling you, Nancy, the answer to question 15 is not in the photo box.

Well, it has to be in here. Our entire families are in here.

Well, maybe our families aren't the answer.

What does that mean?

Oh, maybe we should pick one of our friends.

I hadn't thought of that.

Harold was great.

Yeah, what about Ed? It would be great, sir. I loved it.

And Molly.

Yeah, Molly. Definitely Molly.

They all have good jobs and nice homes.

I think it matters that none of them are married. One parent, two parents. I go

for quality over quantity.

Now, how about that?

We had nothing, and now we have an embarrassment of riches.

Yeah, but how do we choose?

To rather than some kind of parenting test we could give.

Excuse me.

Gus?

Gus Tovel?

That's me.

What can I do you for? We got everything from scoop to nuts.

That's a little hardware humor.

That's good stuff.

That's great. No, not here for the hardware or the humor.

I'm actually hoping to talk to you about your son.

Barry, what did you do?

Oh, no, sorry. Not that son. Different son.

You must be Doug's attorney.

Ed Stevens. Yes, sir. Listen, about this so -called contract. You know, Mr.

Tavel, Doug is, as I'm sure you're aware, he's adamant in his belief that

never entered in any kind of oral contract with you.

He's lying.

He's lying?

All right.

Well, maybe you could tell me then when this agreement took place.

Right after his 18th birthday.

He'd just gotten accepted to the University of Wisconsin. We had a little

a surprise party to celebrate.

So you're at the party, and while you're at the party, you tell him he's got to

pay you back. Is that right? No.

It was his idea. He felt bad because he knew how tight the money was.

No offense, Mr. Tavel, but...

Did anyone else happen to overhear this conversation?

It happened. Drop the suit.

Drop the suit, Mr. Talley. You're not going to win.

Mr. Stevens, did Doug tell you what he's been doing since he left school?

No, sir. He's a handyman.

Barely makes enough money to hold on.

And yet he seems happy.

Well, what about the rest of us? When do we get to be happy?

My wife hasn't had a vacation in seven years. My daughter never got a honeymoon

because she and her husband had to pay for their own wedding.

Barry? He's stuck here sorting nails because I can't afford part -time help.

know why?

Because every dime I made went to pay for Doug's schooling.

Now, if he wants to drop out, I can't stop him.

But I sure as hell intend to make him live up to our agreement.

Miss Bessie, can I talk to you for a minute? Of course.

Warren! Sorry, but what I have to say is of a highly confidential nature.

Teachers, you're like priests, right? You're like shrinks, like what I say to

you stays between us.

No, not exactly, Warren. Why don't you tell me what it is? No, no, no. I have

know that what I say does not leave this room.

Promise me, Miss Bessie, please.

It could ruin me.

Fine. I promise, Warren. I won't tell anyone.

I'm pregnant with a young woman.

What? Are you sure?

Has she seen a doctor?

No, she took one of those pregnancy tests. Three of them. Well, they can be

wrong, Warren. She needs to see a doctor.

Did you use protection?

Yes! Oh, God. It's so embarrassing.

Yeah, I don't know what's wrong with me.

Maybe I'm just, like, unusually fertile.

My loins must be teeming with life.

Um, Warren, you have to tell your parents. No, no.

They won't understand.

They'd kill me.

Well, how about her parents? Do they know? You're the first person we've

Help me, Miss Bessie, please.

I'm too young to be a father.

I'm here,

Warren.

You don't have to go through this alone.

I'm here, Warren.

You don't have to go through this alone. She actually said that. Yeah, you don't

have to take my word for it. I mean, just listen for yourself.

Oh, God, this is wrong. This is just so wrong.

Warren, I am so sorry we got you involved in this. I promise we'll tell

Betsy everything as soon as we find a guardian for Sarah.

Easy,

man. Suck it up.

A man has to get a woman pregnant and a man has to handle a little pain.

Hey, Hudson.

Hey, Chef Ted.

Give you a lift somewhere?

No, no, I'm just out getting some fresh air. Are you kidding?

I was just going to get some fresh air. How about you join me?

Hang on!

Here we go!

Did he seem angry?

Let's just say he seemed pretty determined.

Yeah, I kind of got that feeling when he sued me. Right.

So, should I be worried? I don't think so. In all likelihood, this thing is

going to come down to your word against his.

That's not going to be enough for a judge. I imagine the whole thing will

tossed.

Yeah.

I will teach him to try and control my life.

Yeah, Doug, you know, you're aware, though, that he has given up a lot for

I mean, your whole family has.

Come on, Ed, you're supposed to be my lawyer.

You're right. I am. I am. It's just, not that I agree with what he's done, I

don't, but he's made sacrifices.

This doesn't have anything to do with sacrifices.

He just wants me to be miserable because he is.

It bothers him that I might actually be happy.

Do you believe that?

Yeah, I do.

Hey, old man, where you disappear to?

Interesting factoid.

When a deceased has no family and no one claims the body, the state has it

cremated. After that, they're just happy to get rid of it.

Is that... Indeed it is. Mr. Fish has returned.

Phil, what the hell is wrong with you, man? What kind of mad twist of revenge

are you planning? No revenge.

We're going to throw a memorial for Mr. Fish.

Wait, what? The man died on our watch. We can hardly afford talk of a cover

I think it's a perfectly appropriate idea.

Check this out.

Is it bling -bling?

No, it's an urn.

Mr. Fish's final resting place.

It's an urn with bling -bling.

No, you... That's so nasty. That's nasty.

Phil, that's nasty.

Well, that's chunkier than I expected.

Welcome back, Mr. Fish.

You flew?

I didn't.

Ted did. And it was amazing. It was like we were in this old Buick convertible

in the sky and we spun and we dove and we looped and we... Okay, stop. You're

making me dizzy.

Molly, you barely know this guy. Did you at least have to see his pilot places?

I didn't have to. I trusted him.

Is that smart?

One day he's a chef, the next day he's a pilot. No, he's a chef and a pilot, and

a good pilot. He's also a scuba diver and a sky diver and a mountain climber

a bungee jumper.

Since when did you become his extreme supreme?

I didn't. I'm having fun. He's a fun guy.

I know, I know, and it's great.

But I just wish we knew a little more about him. Like what?

Like, does he have a real job?

Yeah, he's a consultant.

Does he have a real job?

Carol.

I just went for a ride. What are you so worried about?

I don't like the idea of you going up in planes with strangers.

You're right, you know, I should have kept my big mouth shut. I'm his

right? It's not my place to make him a better person, try to educate him.

Thank him. All you did was ask Doug to look at things from his father's

perspective. There's nothing wrong with that.

Yeah. You know, if I had said something to him in high school, maybe he wouldn't

be in this situation now.

Doug was your student?

Yep.

Really?

What was he like?

Honestly, lazy.

Really? And if you believe the stories, kind of wild.

Yeah?

Hey, Shirley, what's up?

Mr. Snow for the prosecution.

Ah, great.

Mr. Tavel's attorney.

Hopefully here to tell me they're dropping the suit. Hey, Mr. Snow. Mr.

I don't believe we've met. James. Nice to meet you. I apologize for not

Well, not at all. Actually, I was expecting you. Is that right?

Yeah, I'm hoping you're here to tell me your client's come to a sense this is a

drop in the suit against my client.

No. Ah, come on, Mr.

Snow. We're talking about word against word on a verbal agreement with no

evidence in sight.

Well, then, why don't you take a look at that?

My parents had a book for me when I got my acceptance letter at Wisconsin.

My brother must have shot this.

College boy.

Are you sure we can afford it?

That's your education.

Don't you worry.

We'll figure something out.

Okay. But I'm going to pay you back every penny. I promise. I want to.

All right.

No, Ed, I swear.

Well, fortunately, you don't have to because it's right here for everyone to

see, including a judge.

How bad is this?

Well, about $150 ,000 bad, I'd say.

Yeah, no, listen, I'll discuss the offer with my client. We'll get back to you

as soon as we can.

Right, okay. Yeah, you too.

Sorry about the stuff on the table.

How bad?

First, you need to understand one thing. What?

If the case goes to court, Doug, there's a very, very strong chance the judge

will rule in favor of your father.

Maybe we should just let him.

I don't have $150 ,000.

You can't take what I don't have.

Well, unfortunately, they can't. The court will establish a payment schedule

garnish your wages from here on out. But I'm barely getting by now.

What am I supposed to live on?

Son of a bitch.

Okay.

What did his attorney say?

Well, at least your father is willing to drop the suit. Give the debt.

As long as you go back to school and finish.

I'm not going back. Okay, Doug, listen, as you would. No, my father's not going

to run my life. He's not going to make me a dentist or anything else just to

make him happy. I understand. I understand. Truly, I do. But giving your

right now, can one year really be that bad? Yes, because it would mean that he

won again.

And he always wins. It always has to be his way with everything.

Right down to the picking the school.

Does that mean your father chose Wisconsin?

Yeah, it was a big deal to him that I'd follow in his footsteps.

He went to Wisconsin, so I was going to Wisconsin.

I won't settle it.

I won't give him the satisfaction.

Yeah, hi.

Madison, Wisconsin, please.

Yeah, the University of Wisconsin Admissions Department. Thank you.

Ed! Thank God I found you. What's going on? Right there. She's fallen into a

vent shaft.

Oh, my God.

Where's the vent shaft? In the park. Come on, get in there in a hurry.

I don't see her. You sure she's down there? Oh, she's down there. Why else

Bun Bun be here? Sarah never goes anywhere without Bun Bun. She never goes

anywhere without Bun Bun. Colin, take it easy there, pal. Maybe she just

wandered off somewhere. You don't know. Yeah, but what if she didn't? What if

she's down there? We've got to go down there. I've got to know. I've got to

know. All right, well, maybe we should wait for the fire department.

The fire department? What's wrong with you? Why didn't I call the fire

department? Don't beat yourself up over this. We can call them now. Call them

now. We don't have time.

What? Well, how are we going to do it? I mean, how are we going to get down

there? What are we going to do? How are we going to do it?

Where'd you get the rope? Tie this around your ankles and it'll lower you

My ankles?

I'd do it myself, but my shoulders are too damn broad to go through the rope.

Hey, come on.

Give me the rope.

Really, you're going to do it?

I'll do it. Absolutely, I'll do it. For Sarah, I'll do anything.

I can't tell you how much that means to me, buddy. Get off.

Let's go. Come on. Grab the rope. Here I go. I'm going in.

Mike! I found Sarah!

She was at home sleeping with Willie Butch. Thank God.

Did I mention how much I hate doing this to our friends?

I'm not sure I haven't been listening.

Well, you better hope we die young, Mike. It's the only way they're going to

forgive us for doing this.

Bill,

what the hell is going on in Lane 6?

This was Mr. Fish's favorite lane. I thought, out of respect, we should close

till after the memorial.

Respect? Respect for who? You couldn't stand Fish.

You know what? I am simply trying to send a message that Stucky Bowl is a

that cares.

And customers eat this crap up. You know what? I'm on to you. You think you got

everybody fool stuff, but I'm on to you.

I think it's very thoughtful.

Yeah, exactly.

But when the last time he did anything even close to thoughtful?

Never. That's right. You know why? Because Phil is a constant.

He's like the speed of light.

He don't change. Never. You follow me? He don't change. Never. That's right.

You know what? This memorial has nothing to do with fish.

It's about Phil, just like everything else. You know how I know?

Because Phil is a constant. That's right.

You know, it's sad, really.

When Phil looks at fish, he sees the future Phil.

Old, dead, and all alone with no one to cry over his shriveled up ass.

You know, when it comes down to it, this memorial is about Phil.

Hey, Mom.

Hi, Dad.

Hi, Sarah.

Wow, what do you have there?

It's beautiful. Did you make that?

Yeah. It's so cute.

I'm so sorry to barge in, but I need a really big favor.

Name it. Kids are in my office, and Mike's running late. Can she stay here?

Absolutely. Oh, except I'm not going to be here. I have to go out to my weekly

budget meeting. Oh, go, go. She'll be fine. She's got her art supplies and her

books and stuff. And Eunice outruns, and she keeps an eye on her, so.

Are you sure?

Positive. Okay. All right.

Bye, pumpkin.

Gosh, you're so cute.

Bye, honey. Bye -bye, honey.

Okay, honey. Here, but just one quick second. I'm going to be right back.

Oh, no, I'm like a stealth bomber, invisible despite my size.

Who said that?

Very cute. How much time do we have? Half an hour, maybe.

All right, then.

Showtime. Oh, my God. I hate it when you talk like we're in an action film.

Sorry.

Let's do this thing.

I can't see.

She's crying.

No, she's laughing.

I guess we should go get Sarah.

Wait a minute.

Maybe she cleaned up the mess we made.

Mike, now.

It's just around the other side of the side. Thank you.

Hey, Pavel.

Did Doug accept my offer?

To go back to college?

No.

I guess I expected that.

Can I ask you a question?

I suppose.

You hate your job?

As Doug says, you can't remember a time you weren't miserable working here.

I don't give it a whole lot of thought.

It's a job.

Not the job you wanted, though.

What are you getting at? Well, what I'm getting at is, Doug told me you studied

at the University of Wisconsin also, so I took the liberty and checked the

records. You studied in their architecture program?

So? So, what I found out was you dropped out before you finished, and I thought,

gosh, that sounds familiar.

It's not the same.

No? I was struggling.

If I hadn't quit, I probably would have flunked out.

Does Doug know about any of this?

There's no reason he should. Oh, see, I disagree.

You know what I think?

I think this isn't about the money. I think this never was about the money.

know what I think this is about?

You're not wanting Doug to make the same mistake you did. I think this whole

thing is one gigantic wake -up call. Well, what if it is?

Isn't that a parent's job?

To share the wisdom that comes from living with mistakes?

To hope they don't repeat them?

Well, sure, by talking to them, sharing your experiences, not by suing them.

This is a private matter, Mr. Stevens.

There's some things that Doug doesn't need to know.

See, I disagree.

Here's the thing.

When you brought the suit against your son, it ceased being a private matter

because you got me involved. So talk to your son, Mr. Tavel, or I will.

We'll figure it out.

Okay. But I'm going to pay you back every penny, I promise.

You know, no matter how many times you watch it, he's still going to say the

same thing.

I know. It's just... Thank you. How can he say...

He didn't remember.

It doesn't make sense.

Oh, like he's lying.

Unless he really doesn't remember.

Wait, when was the shot? What time of day?

Night, I think. There's lights on in the room. Why?

You said Doug was a wild man, right?

Mm -hmm.

As promised, safe and sound. It's still time for a quick shower before school.

Shower? Uh -uh, that ain't gonna get it done.

What do you say I hop in the back and you drive us through a car wash?

You're all right, Hudson.

I like the way you think.

Oh, well, ain't so bad yourself.

Anyways, um, thank you. I had a great time. Anytime.

See you around.

I don't know, the kid's all set. Wait a minute.

Is that Molly?

Sure looks like her. Who's she with? If I'm not mistaken, his name is Ted.

Interesting.

Hey, college boy.

Are you sure we can afford it? It's your education.

Don't you worry.

We'll figure something out. Okay.

But I'm going to pay you back every penny. I'm done.

I want to.

Does an explicit oral agreement exist between Doug and Gus Tabel?

I think you just heard it.

Nothing further, Your Honor. Mr. Stevens.

Thank you.

It would please the court to indulge me about watching this video one more time.

Is there something I missed the first time? I believe so, Your Honor.

Now, what's being said isn't actually what's important. What matters, rather,

what Doug's wearing.

His clothing?

More precisely, his sunglasses.

Your Honor, I don't see the relevance. The relevance, Your Honor, is that night

time's dark.

Yet my client's wearing sunglasses at night. Why is he wearing sunglasses at

night and indoors yet? Trying to be cool.

Trying to be cool, right. The veritable Corey Hart. No, I would suggest that

he's wearing sunglasses at night to hide something from his father, his eyes.

Your Honor. Trying to hide his eyes from his father, Your Honor, because he

knows his eyes would give him away. Eyes would betray him because on the night

that Doug was accepted into college, he and three of his friends celebrated by

smoking a little marijuana.

Doug got high. His judgment was impaired.

So impaired, as a matter of fact, he doesn't even remember having this

conversation.

So, Your Honor, I move this matter be dismissed due to the diminished capacity

of my client. How can he be held to a contract he doesn't even remember

into? Your Honor, this is ridiculous.

Are we simply to accept Mr. Stevens' word for his client's state of mind on

evening? You don't have to, Your Honor.

So I have right here three sworn affidavits from three of Doug's friends,

three friends that he partied with that evening. Now these friends have nothing

to gain by exposing themselves, and yet they're willing to testify. In the

meantime, I have three sworn statements right here. Your Honor, please.

I'm going to need a recess while I consider this new evidence and review

tape. Thank you, Your Honor.

Motorcycles.

Since when do you ride motorcycles?

Since this morning.

Ted took me.

I gotta tell you, it was the most fantastic... How do you know? I saw you

street.

So, Miles, are you seeing Ted?

No, no, it's not like that.

What's it like?

It's just this.

Amazing force of energy.

You know, he looks at life as a big adventure, and if you're lucky enough to

caught in his wake, you just get swept up in it.

It's exhilarating.

Or should I leave Sean?

I told you, I am not seeing Ted. Just spending an awful lot of time with him.

All right, you win. I like him. Ha!

But nothing has happened.

Nothing. And Sean?

He's a good guy, Molly.

I know. He's a great guy. He really is. And we're very comfortable with each

other. It's just that I'm starting to think that there's something missing.

what? I don't know. I can't put my finger on it.

Zing? Zing? Yeah, you know, sparks, excitement, surprise.

Have you talked to Sean about this? How do you tell a guy he's got no zing?

What will you tell him?

Between the tape and weighing the evidence, it's clear that Doug Tavel was

in control of his faculties at the time.

Though it pains me to reward a youthful, not to mention a legal, transgression,

I find for the defendant.

Congratulations. Thank you. You're welcome.

I hope you in no way consider this a victory.

Mr. Talbot, your son's a young man right now. You've got to let him live his own

life, make his own decisions. Otherwise, you're going to lose him.

Do you have any children?

Nope.

Yeah, maybe you can't understand.

No matter how old they get, you never stop being a parent.

You never stop wanting what's best for them.

Oh, wait, let me guess. You got a call from Mike and Nancy.

Yeah. Do you have any idea what this is about? No, not a clue.

Congratulations, Carol.

You made it here in exactly 15 minutes and 27 seconds.

Molly, 18 to 31.

Ed, 31 minutes and change.

At this point, I show to say the least.

So you call me, tell me to drop what I'm doing and hurry over here as fast as I

can, and then when I get here, you tell me I'm not fast enough.

When you have a child, you're often asked to drop whatever it is you're

and put their needs ahead of your own.

I don't have a child. You could.

You could have Sarah.

What? Mike and I needed some custody of Sarah if anything happens to us.

We wanted to pick one of you guys. We couldn't decide who.

And as dumb as it sounds, we've been testing you.

That thing with Warren, we wanted to see how you would react to someone you

cared about doing something really stupid.

Yeah, the thing with the vent shaft, it was like crisis management kind of

thing.

Don't tell me.

Sarah didn't trash my office. You did. Yeah.

You guys, please don't hate us. Well, there's varying degrees of hate. So,

really, this is how you guys thought you'd do this, really? I'm with Ed.

You lied to us. Oh, come on, you guys. This isn't about us. It's about Sarah.

No matter how stupid and insensitive they were. And you were stupid and

insensitive.

But they did it for Sarah because they love her and they want what's best for

her. We can't forget that.

Well, I think we've got a winner.

What? Those tests? They weren't the real test.

They're just to annoy you. This is the real test.

She would understand that as a parent, you have to every once in a while make a

jackass out of yourself for the sake of your kids. Well, you're doing a good job

with that. I think he's just making it up as he goes along. Our grape said...

Molly, if anything happens to us, we would love if you would be Sarah's

guardian. Yeah, but only if you want to.

Are you kidding?

Come on, I would be honored.

Well, there's question 15.

Wait a second.

Wait, wait.

I got here in 15 minutes and 27 seconds.

Doesn't that count for something?

Well, it does.

In the event of our untimely death,

Willie Butch is all yours.

Yeah, you get Willie Butch.

No.

Thank you all for coming.

I'm certain Mr. Fish would be delighted to know how many of you came out tonight

to pay respects.

When do we get to bowl?

The lanes will reopen in 15 minutes.

William Fish was an obnoxious, opinionated blowhard who

tried the nerves of everyone who ever came into contact with him. Promise me

won't let stop speak at my service when I die.

So why honor his memory?

Because he was here.

And while he was here, he made damn sure you noticed him.

You may not have liked him, but I'll bet you remember him.

Without further ado, the Stucky Bowl Honor Guard will assist me in William

Fisher's final send -off with a 21 -ball salute.

It contains the ashes of Mr. William Fish.

Anything you want me to do?