All language subtitles for Ed s03e22 The Decision

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (SoranĂ®)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:29,629 --> 00:00:30,629 Hey. 2 00:00:32,870 --> 00:00:33,870 Hey. 3 00:00:48,890 --> 00:00:50,070 This is the exact spot. 4 00:00:51,030 --> 00:00:52,030 What? 5 00:00:52,350 --> 00:00:54,490 My first night I came back to Stucky about three years ago. 6 00:00:55,910 --> 00:00:56,910 This is where we were. 7 00:01:13,130 --> 00:01:15,010 Make any interesting decisions lately? 8 00:01:17,210 --> 00:01:18,370 Yes, I have. 9 00:01:40,160 --> 00:01:46,800 By your side Watching the wide world riot 10 00:01:46,800 --> 00:01:51,940 And hiding out I'll be coming home next year 11 00:02:08,320 --> 00:02:09,479 So, let me get this straight. 12 00:02:10,320 --> 00:02:14,100 Molly stole Carol's diary? Yes. And she read it to you? Part of it, yes. 13 00:02:14,500 --> 00:02:17,380 What's Carol doing keeping a diary? I mean, who is she, Jan Brady? 14 00:02:17,600 --> 00:02:20,360 Nothing wrong with that. I keep a journal myself, as you well know. You 15 00:02:20,360 --> 00:02:23,800 shouldn't, too. Oh, we're cutting to my TV watching time. Besides, I can't see 16 00:02:23,800 --> 00:02:26,080 myself writing to your diary. I don't write to your diary. 17 00:02:26,460 --> 00:02:31,360 I'm sure you don't. So tell me, why did Molly commit this act of grand lust? She 18 00:02:31,360 --> 00:02:34,300 thinks I'm in denial about Carol's feelings for me, and I gotta tell you, 19 00:02:34,320 --> 00:02:37,690 she's... She's right. You know, it was a lot easier when I could pretend the 20 00:02:37,690 --> 00:02:40,630 feelings weren't real, but after hearing all the stuff she's written about me, I 21 00:02:40,630 --> 00:02:41,630 got a faith, I got a decision. 22 00:02:42,150 --> 00:02:45,830 Like I've been saying all along. Of course, provided that the Frankie option 23 00:02:45,830 --> 00:02:46,749 still even available. 24 00:02:46,750 --> 00:02:47,750 Oh, so you haven't heard from her, huh? 25 00:02:47,910 --> 00:02:49,350 No, she's still in Houston with good old Leon. 26 00:02:49,570 --> 00:02:51,950 Well, my friend, sounds like you better figure out what the hell you're doing. 27 00:02:52,230 --> 00:02:53,230 Yeah, I know. 28 00:02:54,690 --> 00:03:00,650 Dear diary, Carol or Frankie, whoever will it be, let me see. Please stop 29 00:03:00,650 --> 00:03:01,650 talking. 30 00:03:03,959 --> 00:03:05,020 What's this meeting about? 31 00:03:05,260 --> 00:03:06,920 The Stucky Bowl 75th birthday party. 32 00:03:07,160 --> 00:03:10,260 Oh, why do we have to plan that? Why can't we just get Colin Cowie? 33 00:03:10,460 --> 00:03:13,520 Who's Colin Cowie? He's Hollywood's top event planner. He said there's a massive 34 00:03:13,520 --> 00:03:14,820 bash for William Dafoe. 35 00:03:15,060 --> 00:03:16,060 Willem. What? 36 00:03:16,160 --> 00:03:17,680 Willem. I don't know what that means. 37 00:03:17,980 --> 00:03:21,900 All right, look, Ed is counting on us. So we got to do this party real fast and 38 00:03:21,900 --> 00:03:22,900 we only have a few days. 39 00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:25,700 Shirley, you're in charge of the music. I need you to find me a good cover band. 40 00:03:25,860 --> 00:03:28,840 I once saw a group in Jasper Town that played Beatles and Eagle songs. They 41 00:03:28,840 --> 00:03:29,739 called the Beagles. 42 00:03:29,740 --> 00:03:31,160 Oh, boo, keep on looking, all right? 43 00:03:31,380 --> 00:03:33,880 Hey, Stubbs, can you get us some fireworks? Yeah, what kind do you want? 44 00:03:33,940 --> 00:03:36,760 cones, sparklers, spinners, Roman candles, phantom racers, ninja masters, 45 00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:40,480 dancing devils, typhoon blasters, midnight thrillers, gorilla killers, 46 00:03:40,480 --> 00:03:43,600 Dillers, Barney Millers, Wojo. All right, look, whatever your goofy ass 47 00:03:43,860 --> 00:03:46,880 I'm in charge of food and invitations. Hey, I got somebody for your list, 48 00:03:46,880 --> 00:03:49,760 Gonda. Oh, come on, not that again. No, you know you'll like her. Just ask her 49 00:03:49,760 --> 00:03:52,640 to be your date. All right, all right, just fall back before I slap the stupid 50 00:03:52,640 --> 00:03:55,780 out your head. It's not even original. He got that from Cedric the Entertainer. 51 00:04:00,840 --> 00:04:02,140 Oh, hey, Carol. 52 00:04:02,520 --> 00:04:03,478 Ed, hi. 53 00:04:03,480 --> 00:04:04,640 You headed to school? 54 00:04:04,860 --> 00:04:06,620 Yeah, you headed to court? Yeah. 55 00:04:07,560 --> 00:04:08,560 Yeah. 56 00:04:08,820 --> 00:04:09,799 All righty then. 57 00:04:09,800 --> 00:04:12,040 How are you doing anyway, Carol? Are you okay? 58 00:04:12,780 --> 00:04:15,360 I'm fine. You are? Yeah. You are? You're fine? 59 00:04:15,740 --> 00:04:16,740 That's good. I'm glad. 60 00:04:17,440 --> 00:04:20,720 You're glad that I'm fine? Yes, yes. You deserve to be fine. I do? 61 00:04:20,959 --> 00:04:24,720 Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, you're a teacher for the love of Pete. I don't 62 00:04:24,720 --> 00:04:28,100 you nearly enough for the work you do every day, you know, for the kids, for 63 00:04:28,100 --> 00:04:29,180 future of this country. Thank you. 64 00:04:29,400 --> 00:04:30,400 Thank you. 65 00:04:30,480 --> 00:04:31,480 Why are you acting like this? 66 00:04:31,720 --> 00:04:32,459 Like what? 67 00:04:32,460 --> 00:04:33,460 Like a buffoon. 68 00:04:33,800 --> 00:04:39,520 I'm sorry. I don't... See, I don't know how to... I mean, I don't mean... I just 69 00:04:39,520 --> 00:04:40,520 don't know. I'm sorry. 70 00:04:42,160 --> 00:04:43,160 Ed. 71 00:04:44,340 --> 00:04:45,340 Molly read me your diary. 72 00:04:45,720 --> 00:04:48,860 What? No, just the parts about me. Oh, my God. No, no, don't freak out. Don't 73 00:04:48,860 --> 00:04:51,600 freak out. Nothing embarrassing. Nothing embarrassing. Strictly PG. Not even PG 74 00:04:51,600 --> 00:04:54,680 -13. Just PG. Not even PG. Just G. The proof of general audience. Is that so? 75 00:04:54,880 --> 00:04:56,800 Molly just wanted me to... I can't. I cannot. 76 00:05:03,310 --> 00:05:03,969 How could you? 77 00:05:03,970 --> 00:05:05,050 How could you? 78 00:05:06,810 --> 00:05:08,670 I'm going to have to call you back. 79 00:05:10,570 --> 00:05:11,830 You seem upset. 80 00:05:12,050 --> 00:05:15,550 Oh, very good. You must be psychic. Now, what reason could I possibly have to be 81 00:05:15,550 --> 00:05:19,170 upset? Okay, please sit down and let me try and explain this. Oh, please. 82 00:05:19,850 --> 00:05:20,850 Explain. 83 00:05:22,190 --> 00:05:23,310 I threw a Hail Mary. 84 00:05:23,550 --> 00:05:24,630 What? What is that? 85 00:05:25,020 --> 00:05:25,899 What about sitting? 86 00:05:25,900 --> 00:05:26,980 I'm too upset to sit. 87 00:05:27,200 --> 00:05:30,880 Carol, I saw Ed slipping away from you. There were like two seconds left in the 88 00:05:30,880 --> 00:05:34,200 game, and I felt like I had to resort to something drastic, so I sent everybody 89 00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:36,020 into the end zone, and I threw up a Hail Mary. 90 00:05:36,380 --> 00:05:38,320 That is a completely unacceptable explanation. 91 00:05:52,360 --> 00:05:53,360 What did he say? 92 00:05:55,980 --> 00:05:57,500 Why do you have to renovate the attic? 93 00:05:57,780 --> 00:05:59,760 We're adding a bedroom for George's mother. 94 00:06:00,100 --> 00:06:01,720 Oh, she's moving in. 95 00:06:02,040 --> 00:06:05,820 Yes, and I'm thrilled to have her, but I'm not looking forward to all of that 96 00:06:05,820 --> 00:06:06,820 construction. 97 00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:11,300 You know, I should put you in touch with the contractor we use for our kitchen. 98 00:06:11,620 --> 00:06:12,279 Oh, yeah? 99 00:06:12,280 --> 00:06:13,280 Named Zupko. 100 00:06:13,880 --> 00:06:17,440 I don't know if that's his first name or his last name. He's from one of those 101 00:06:17,440 --> 00:06:19,800 funny countries somewhere, but he's amazing. 102 00:06:20,420 --> 00:06:21,880 Promise you'll email me his number? 103 00:06:22,120 --> 00:06:23,120 I will. 104 00:06:23,530 --> 00:06:25,610 It's Z -U -P, Kegel. 105 00:06:26,250 --> 00:06:28,030 Why are these dinner parties always so lame? 106 00:06:28,350 --> 00:06:29,690 Maybe humans are just boring. 107 00:06:30,010 --> 00:06:33,190 It's better when we're all busy hunting and gathering back to nobody in time to 108 00:06:33,190 --> 00:06:34,730 show their pictures of their trips to Legoland. 109 00:06:36,130 --> 00:06:38,290 Hey, Mike, I think those motorists are in trouble. 110 00:06:38,670 --> 00:06:40,790 Motorists? Yeah, that was kind of weird, wasn't it? 111 00:06:45,110 --> 00:06:45,550 You 112 00:06:45,550 --> 00:06:52,790 okay? 113 00:06:53,200 --> 00:06:54,520 We got a flat and we have no jack. 114 00:06:54,800 --> 00:06:56,120 Oh, we have a jack. Really? 115 00:06:57,100 --> 00:06:58,100 Great. 116 00:07:02,260 --> 00:07:03,340 So, where are you guys from? 117 00:07:03,580 --> 00:07:05,280 We're seniors at Glenmark College. 118 00:07:05,600 --> 00:07:06,600 Oh, cool. 119 00:07:06,720 --> 00:07:07,720 I'll sit, ladies. 120 00:07:07,820 --> 00:07:08,820 Wow, that was fast. 121 00:07:09,020 --> 00:07:10,280 I was an intern at Jiffy Lube. 122 00:07:12,080 --> 00:07:13,080 Well, thanks again. 123 00:07:14,060 --> 00:07:16,580 Kidding. There's no internships at Jiffy Lube. That'd be ridiculous. 124 00:07:16,900 --> 00:07:17,980 Hey, you girls get home safe. 125 00:07:18,720 --> 00:07:21,520 Hey, there's a party tomorrow night at our dorm. If you guys want to come, we'd 126 00:07:21,520 --> 00:07:22,560 love to give you a thank you beer. 127 00:07:23,160 --> 00:07:24,540 Thanks, but we're old. 128 00:07:24,920 --> 00:07:25,920 Speak for yourself. 129 00:07:26,540 --> 00:07:27,700 I'm kidding. I'm old, too. 130 00:07:28,460 --> 00:07:29,860 If you change your mind, we're in Hill Hall. 131 00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:31,200 Good night. 132 00:07:35,020 --> 00:07:36,060 That bomb was hot. 133 00:07:36,860 --> 00:07:39,180 And there goes any chance you had of having sex with me tonight. 134 00:07:51,580 --> 00:07:52,600 Frankie, you're back. 135 00:07:52,880 --> 00:07:53,880 Yeah. 136 00:07:54,040 --> 00:07:55,040 Good. 137 00:07:56,380 --> 00:07:57,239 How's Houston? 138 00:07:57,240 --> 00:07:58,240 Good. 139 00:07:58,920 --> 00:07:59,920 Good? 140 00:08:03,200 --> 00:08:04,940 Warm there now? Spring -like temperatures. 141 00:08:06,520 --> 00:08:10,160 Oh, that's... That's Danny. Not a person alive. Doesn't like spring -like 142 00:08:10,160 --> 00:08:11,160 temperatures. 143 00:08:16,480 --> 00:08:17,480 And Leon? 144 00:08:17,620 --> 00:08:18,599 You saw Leon? 145 00:08:18,600 --> 00:08:19,579 Yep, saw him. 146 00:08:19,580 --> 00:08:20,830 Good. How was that? 147 00:08:21,090 --> 00:08:22,090 You know, fine. 148 00:08:22,270 --> 00:08:23,270 Well, great. 149 00:08:23,930 --> 00:08:25,030 Spring -like temperatures, Leon. 150 00:08:25,670 --> 00:08:27,130 Sounds like you had yourself a home -run weekend. 151 00:08:27,690 --> 00:08:29,050 Excuse me, I'm gonna get a coffee. 152 00:08:33,110 --> 00:08:34,130 My life's going great. 153 00:08:44,169 --> 00:08:45,170 Let's have a picnic. 154 00:08:45,310 --> 00:08:46,690 What? Let's have a picnic. 155 00:08:47,230 --> 00:08:48,930 Grab a couple of salads. Go to the park for no reason. 156 00:08:49,170 --> 00:08:50,330 I have to finish this brief. 157 00:08:50,690 --> 00:08:52,870 No, no, no. Why eat indoors when we can eat outdoors? 158 00:08:53,070 --> 00:08:54,070 Come on, what do you say? 159 00:08:55,190 --> 00:08:57,690 Thank you. I'm fine here. I really think we need to have a picnic. 160 00:08:58,090 --> 00:08:59,069 What's wrong with you? 161 00:08:59,070 --> 00:09:00,190 Wrong with me? Nothing. 162 00:09:00,550 --> 00:09:03,550 Nothing's wrong with me. Nothing's wrong with me. I just think, frankly, I'm 163 00:09:03,550 --> 00:09:06,750 making a perfectly good argument for having a picnic when the burden of proof 164 00:09:06,750 --> 00:09:08,970 lies squarely on the shoulders of the person who doesn't want to have a 165 00:09:09,550 --> 00:09:10,550 What does that even mean? 166 00:09:10,870 --> 00:09:11,870 Let's have a picnic. 167 00:09:17,560 --> 00:09:18,680 Didn't I tell you this would be great? 168 00:09:19,020 --> 00:09:20,020 Kind of windy. 169 00:09:20,080 --> 00:09:22,060 It's not that windy. It's kind of a delightful breeze, really. 170 00:09:22,480 --> 00:09:23,920 It's too cold to have a picnic. 171 00:09:24,120 --> 00:09:26,300 Oh, it's not too cold to have a picnic. The Eskimos have picnics in temperatures 172 00:09:26,300 --> 00:09:28,500 much colder than this. I'm not sure about that. 173 00:09:28,700 --> 00:09:30,840 Well, they do. Here, have some serving potatoes to out. 174 00:09:35,700 --> 00:09:36,700 Thank you for coming. 175 00:09:36,760 --> 00:09:38,560 It's always an honor to meet a man of your profession. 176 00:09:39,060 --> 00:09:42,320 To me, fireworks are more than just pretty lights. They're closest we ever 177 00:09:42,320 --> 00:09:43,760 to touching the face of the Lord himself. 178 00:09:44,560 --> 00:09:45,560 What do you need, sir? 179 00:09:45,580 --> 00:09:46,580 Just to give you some idea. 180 00:09:56,460 --> 00:09:59,920 You understand, sir, it's one of the biggest displays of all time. 181 00:10:00,160 --> 00:10:02,800 The Gruchies did that for $1 .7 million. 182 00:10:04,560 --> 00:10:05,800 What, are you trying to hondle me now? 183 00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:09,460 Why, what, sir? Two minutes in, he's trying to hondle me. What can you do for 184 00:10:09,460 --> 00:10:10,780 bucks? For 50 bucks? 185 00:10:11,140 --> 00:10:12,200 I can go like this. 186 00:10:14,560 --> 00:10:16,280 So we have more than 50, Eli. 187 00:10:16,580 --> 00:10:18,180 Would you let me bargain with the man? 188 00:10:21,320 --> 00:10:22,440 Will you meet me at 51? 189 00:10:23,910 --> 00:10:24,910 Good luck, fellas. 190 00:10:24,990 --> 00:10:26,150 Wait, sir. 191 00:10:26,410 --> 00:10:28,690 No, no, no. Let him go. Let him go. He doesn't deserve us. 192 00:10:30,330 --> 00:10:31,330 Hey, Eli. 193 00:10:31,630 --> 00:10:32,630 Check it out. 194 00:10:32,930 --> 00:10:35,290 Miss Vivian is in the house. 195 00:10:35,770 --> 00:10:37,410 Time to make your move. 196 00:10:38,930 --> 00:10:41,730 You know, you are the world's most annoying dude. 197 00:10:42,410 --> 00:10:44,430 Come on, man. I just saved us $1 .7 million. 198 00:11:05,740 --> 00:11:08,560 I have a few carefully chosen things I'd like to say, and I'd appreciate it if I 199 00:11:08,560 --> 00:11:09,560 could say them without interruption. 200 00:11:11,140 --> 00:11:12,140 Okay. 201 00:11:13,540 --> 00:11:16,180 For the last few days, I have been throwing myself at you, and this has 202 00:11:16,180 --> 00:11:19,320 many different forms, not the least of which being me telling you that I am, in 203 00:11:19,320 --> 00:11:20,340 fact, throwing myself at you. 204 00:11:20,600 --> 00:11:23,320 This has made me feel a whole new emotion I've never experienced before 205 00:11:23,320 --> 00:11:25,040 like to label jackassiness. 206 00:11:25,260 --> 00:11:27,420 Carol, you don't have to explain. I'm not done yet. Right. Sorry. 207 00:11:27,620 --> 00:11:30,960 The cherry on top of the humiliation sundae, of course, would be my best 208 00:11:30,960 --> 00:11:35,760 stealing. My private journals and reading my most intimate thoughts to 209 00:11:35,840 --> 00:11:37,420 which... Carol, Molly did... Right. 210 00:11:37,980 --> 00:11:40,860 Which leads me to one simple question. 211 00:11:41,940 --> 00:11:42,940 Which is? 212 00:11:44,020 --> 00:11:45,940 Molly said she thought you had a decision to make. 213 00:11:47,440 --> 00:11:51,900 Can you tell me you're 100 % certain you do not want to be with me? 214 00:11:52,180 --> 00:11:54,840 Because if you can, say it now and I will walk right out that door. 215 00:12:00,400 --> 00:12:01,400 It's complicated. 216 00:12:03,100 --> 00:12:04,100 I'll take that. 217 00:12:12,300 --> 00:12:15,400 I'm walking out the door, but it's a different kind of wall. It's not what I 218 00:12:15,400 --> 00:12:19,760 said. It's a... This is the jackassiness feeling I'm having. 219 00:12:25,180 --> 00:12:26,420 Oh, here we are, Hill Hall. 220 00:12:29,700 --> 00:12:30,700 It's really weird. 221 00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:32,960 Come on, it'll be fun. 222 00:12:35,140 --> 00:12:36,620 Mike, I don't know about this. 223 00:12:36,960 --> 00:12:38,880 Oh, relax, honey. This is going to be great. 224 00:12:39,100 --> 00:12:43,240 See this? This is a real party. These people are just pretending to have fun. 225 00:12:43,240 --> 00:12:46,520 These people are having actual fun. Yeah, I don't know if I remember how to 226 00:12:46,520 --> 00:12:48,000 actual fun. That's why we're here. 227 00:12:49,760 --> 00:12:51,200 Oh, my God. Hey. 228 00:12:51,640 --> 00:12:52,640 This is awesome. 229 00:12:52,940 --> 00:12:54,420 Come on, we'll introduce you to everybody. 230 00:12:54,760 --> 00:12:55,980 First, introduce us to the cake. 231 00:12:56,220 --> 00:12:58,240 All right. Let's get this party started. Woo! 232 00:13:00,040 --> 00:13:01,040 Hey. 233 00:13:05,040 --> 00:13:08,280 You can not. I'm telling you, I totally can't. 234 00:13:08,660 --> 00:13:13,140 No way. I don't believe you. No, I'm telling you, I can do it. Can he really? 235 00:13:13,480 --> 00:13:14,480 Oh, yeah. Yeah. 236 00:13:14,620 --> 00:13:15,980 I can hope he doesn't. Yeah. 237 00:13:17,020 --> 00:13:18,240 Come on, let's see. 238 00:13:18,640 --> 00:13:19,299 Uh -huh. 239 00:13:19,300 --> 00:13:20,480 All right. Yes, please. 240 00:13:33,570 --> 00:13:34,670 Go White! 241 00:13:38,010 --> 00:13:39,010 Go White! 242 00:13:39,230 --> 00:13:42,070 Go White! Go White! It's your birthday! 243 00:13:42,290 --> 00:13:43,290 It's your birthday! 244 00:13:43,390 --> 00:13:44,349 Go White! 245 00:13:44,350 --> 00:13:46,030 Go White! It's your birthday! 246 00:13:46,470 --> 00:13:47,470 It's your birthday! 247 00:14:01,160 --> 00:14:04,540 Come on, you big goofball. I don't dance. You know that. 248 00:14:04,740 --> 00:14:05,740 You just did. 249 00:14:05,920 --> 00:14:07,040 That's breaking. That's different. 250 00:14:07,740 --> 00:14:08,740 Fine. 251 00:14:09,100 --> 00:14:10,100 Let's go, Carrie. 252 00:14:12,380 --> 00:14:17,580 You guys are hilarious. I wish you were in school here. Oh, you know, I just 253 00:14:17,580 --> 00:14:20,160 might sign up for a course or two. I'm too late to learn Japanese. 254 00:14:29,600 --> 00:14:30,600 That's the life. 255 00:14:37,599 --> 00:14:38,760 Frankie. I need to talk to you. 256 00:14:39,100 --> 00:14:40,100 About what? In private. 257 00:14:41,040 --> 00:14:42,040 Let's go behind the lanes. 258 00:14:42,240 --> 00:14:44,200 Why don't we just go to the office? I'm going to be gesticulating a great deal 259 00:14:44,200 --> 00:14:45,780 and people will see me through the window. What are you going to be 260 00:14:45,780 --> 00:14:47,620 gesticulating? Can we wait until we get behind the lanes? 261 00:14:47,940 --> 00:14:48,940 Okay. 262 00:14:52,040 --> 00:14:53,580 I don't want to do this anymore. What? 263 00:14:54,140 --> 00:14:55,560 You don't want to do what? Pout for effect. 264 00:14:56,240 --> 00:14:59,080 What? Yes, yes, I've been pouting in order to make a point and this strategy 265 00:14:59,080 --> 00:15:00,900 does not fit well for someone with my personality. 266 00:15:01,180 --> 00:15:03,300 What point? Do you know what a golden doodle is? 267 00:15:03,780 --> 00:15:04,780 Golden doodle? 268 00:15:05,400 --> 00:15:09,280 No. It's a new... kind of dog. It's a cross between a golden retriever and a 269 00:15:09,280 --> 00:15:12,400 poodle. All right. A golden retriever is always going to be a golden retriever, 270 00:15:12,420 --> 00:15:15,220 and a poodle is always going to be a poodle. And either way, you're never 271 00:15:15,220 --> 00:15:16,920 to be a golden doodle, no matter how hard you try. 272 00:15:18,640 --> 00:15:21,240 This is the point you're trying to make? No, the point I'm trying to make is 273 00:15:21,240 --> 00:15:24,240 that if you want a golden doodle, go find a golden doodle, because I am never 274 00:15:24,240 --> 00:15:27,140 going to be a golden doodle. I don't even know what a golden doodle is. Leon 275 00:15:27,140 --> 00:15:27,959 called me. 276 00:15:27,960 --> 00:15:31,260 He wants me to fly back to Houston and give things another try. 277 00:15:33,980 --> 00:15:35,680 And? And I really... 278 00:15:36,030 --> 00:15:39,250 I want to be here with you, but not if you want me to be a golden doodle, 279 00:15:39,250 --> 00:15:41,310 because as I previously stated, I'm never going to be that. 280 00:15:41,850 --> 00:15:44,330 I'm having trouble understanding the golden doodle thing. I'm not going to 281 00:15:44,330 --> 00:15:45,410 compete with Carol Betsy. 282 00:15:47,590 --> 00:15:51,210 Frankie, I don't want you to compete with... And I'm on a plane tomorrow 283 00:15:51,210 --> 00:15:53,550 to Houston, unless you give me a reason to stay. 284 00:15:54,670 --> 00:15:55,670 How do I do that? 285 00:15:56,210 --> 00:15:57,210 Make up your mind. 286 00:15:58,930 --> 00:15:59,930 Once and for all. 287 00:16:15,780 --> 00:16:17,480 Hey, look who's here. It's Mommy. 288 00:16:17,780 --> 00:16:19,020 Top of the morning to you, Mommy. 289 00:16:19,900 --> 00:16:23,640 Oh, boy, it's Mommy. We'll annihilate you. Oh, you're going to feel fine. 290 00:16:24,160 --> 00:16:25,160 drink this. 291 00:16:25,480 --> 00:16:26,480 Hair of the dog. 292 00:16:26,720 --> 00:16:28,600 Ugh, take that away. Take it away. 293 00:16:29,260 --> 00:16:30,760 All right, I'm off to work. 294 00:16:32,560 --> 00:16:36,000 Oh, honey, Stacy invited us into one of those party sites. 295 00:16:36,300 --> 00:16:37,300 Can I assume you're in? 296 00:16:37,610 --> 00:16:39,170 You got to be kidding. 297 00:16:39,470 --> 00:16:40,530 Why? We had a great time. 298 00:16:40,830 --> 00:16:42,250 Oh, Mike, don't be ridiculous. 299 00:16:42,490 --> 00:16:45,390 Once it's enough, there's no way I'm going back there. 300 00:16:45,810 --> 00:16:46,810 But it's luau night. 301 00:16:48,590 --> 00:16:50,990 Besides, Sarah and I are going over to my parents' tonight. 302 00:16:51,190 --> 00:16:52,750 Oh, right, right. 303 00:16:53,170 --> 00:16:54,350 All right, well, I'll see you tomorrow. 304 00:16:54,570 --> 00:16:55,570 Okay. 305 00:17:10,700 --> 00:17:11,700 Up here. 306 00:17:14,160 --> 00:17:15,160 Carol! 307 00:17:15,240 --> 00:17:16,660 Hey. Good morning. 308 00:17:19,880 --> 00:17:20,880 You're in a tree. 309 00:17:21,079 --> 00:17:22,079 Yes, I am. 310 00:17:22,579 --> 00:17:23,579 Why are you in a tree? 311 00:17:23,880 --> 00:17:26,300 Because for the last couple of days, you've had me out on a limb. 312 00:17:26,740 --> 00:17:27,740 Out on a limb? 313 00:17:28,040 --> 00:17:31,340 Yeah, and it's no fun being out on a limb, and I'm not particularly good at 314 00:17:31,440 --> 00:17:34,720 You're not actually out on a limb. You realize that, right? I got scared. 315 00:17:35,040 --> 00:17:38,880 The point is, I don't know how much longer I can stay out on a limb. 316 00:17:39,530 --> 00:17:40,530 I need you to let me down. 317 00:17:40,850 --> 00:17:41,850 Literally? No. 318 00:17:42,170 --> 00:17:46,030 I need you to decide what your deal is and soon. 319 00:17:47,370 --> 00:17:48,370 I know. 320 00:17:49,710 --> 00:17:50,710 I understand. 321 00:17:52,230 --> 00:17:53,230 You made your point. 322 00:17:53,570 --> 00:17:54,570 Good. 323 00:17:56,230 --> 00:18:00,190 So let me down. I will. I promise. I just need to sort a few things out. Ed. 324 00:18:00,230 --> 00:18:02,330 Yeah. Literally. Let me down. 325 00:18:04,290 --> 00:18:05,069 Thank you. 326 00:18:05,070 --> 00:18:06,070 You're welcome. 327 00:18:13,439 --> 00:18:14,439 Mike? Stacey. 328 00:18:14,700 --> 00:18:16,220 Hey. What are you doing? 329 00:18:16,740 --> 00:18:17,980 Just stopped by to say hi. 330 00:18:18,340 --> 00:18:19,380 Found you in the phone book. 331 00:18:19,640 --> 00:18:21,480 Oh. Well, cool. Hi. 332 00:18:22,600 --> 00:18:24,080 So this is your office, huh? 333 00:18:24,300 --> 00:18:25,700 Yeah, this is where all the magic happens. 334 00:18:25,920 --> 00:18:27,440 If you want to call throat cultures magic. 335 00:18:27,740 --> 00:18:29,700 The splinter removals. We get a lot of splinters in here. 336 00:18:29,940 --> 00:18:30,940 Dr. Burton? 337 00:18:31,560 --> 00:18:32,860 So, did you have fun last night? 338 00:18:33,100 --> 00:18:34,520 Yeah. Yeah, I had a blast. 339 00:18:35,220 --> 00:18:36,220 Want to repay me? 340 00:18:37,260 --> 00:18:38,260 How? 341 00:18:38,840 --> 00:18:40,900 Jenny and I have this brutal chemistry exam. 342 00:18:41,450 --> 00:18:42,450 Come up with study. 343 00:18:42,630 --> 00:18:45,430 Me? You're a doctor. You know chemistry, right? 344 00:18:45,690 --> 00:18:46,529 Excuse me, Dr. 345 00:18:46,530 --> 00:18:49,430 Burton. I do hate to interrupt, but I need you in the exam room. 346 00:18:49,890 --> 00:18:52,970 Could you please take your thumb out of your ass and join me? 347 00:18:53,370 --> 00:18:54,370 Thank you. 348 00:18:54,390 --> 00:18:55,390 Good day, miss. 349 00:18:57,230 --> 00:18:58,390 Guess I better let you go. 350 00:18:58,870 --> 00:18:59,870 Yeah. 351 00:19:00,610 --> 00:19:01,610 Leave me your number. 352 00:19:11,180 --> 00:19:12,180 Oh, Eli. 353 00:19:12,560 --> 00:19:13,920 Oh, Eli. 354 00:19:15,400 --> 00:19:16,199 What's up? 355 00:19:16,200 --> 00:19:20,020 What are you going to ask her out or am I going to have to make you? How are you 356 00:19:20,020 --> 00:19:21,020 going to make me? 357 00:19:21,120 --> 00:19:24,360 It's easy. I'll put you on a rope and some pulleys like the dead guy at 358 00:19:24,360 --> 00:19:27,320 at Bernie's. Oh, you really want to be down, don't you? Fine, forget it. I'll 359 00:19:27,320 --> 00:19:28,079 ask her myself. 360 00:19:28,080 --> 00:19:31,100 What? You're saying it's a shame to let such a fine specimen of female 361 00:19:31,100 --> 00:19:32,480 pulchritude go to waste. 362 00:19:33,200 --> 00:19:34,860 Ovidian, sit your ass down. 363 00:19:36,320 --> 00:19:37,320 That's my Eli. 364 00:19:42,510 --> 00:19:43,930 Hey, Vivian. How you doing? 365 00:19:44,150 --> 00:19:48,030 I'm good, Eli. How about you? I'm doing good. I'm doing good. Hey, listen. 366 00:19:48,770 --> 00:19:51,810 I just wanted to know, would you like to come with me to the Stucky Bowl party? 367 00:19:52,410 --> 00:19:55,030 I'm sorry, Eli. I can't. Nah. 368 00:19:55,370 --> 00:19:56,650 But thank you. 369 00:19:58,470 --> 00:20:00,690 That's all good. It probably going to be worth nothing anyway. 370 00:20:01,090 --> 00:20:02,090 All right. 371 00:20:02,210 --> 00:20:03,210 I'll holler at you. 372 00:20:15,240 --> 00:20:17,220 All right, very good, very good. You guys are on fire. 373 00:20:17,460 --> 00:20:19,380 All right, Jenny, Avogadro's number. Give it to me. 374 00:20:19,700 --> 00:20:24,300 Avogadro's number, 6 .022 times 10 to the 23rd. That's right, and it's the 375 00:20:24,300 --> 00:20:25,760 number of what, Stacy? 376 00:20:26,160 --> 00:20:27,560 Particles in the mole. That's correct. 377 00:20:27,840 --> 00:20:31,000 Yes. All right, that work's done here. You guys are totally going to ace this 378 00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:32,980 thing. Hey, Mike, are you forgetting something? 379 00:20:33,220 --> 00:20:34,220 What's that? 380 00:20:34,360 --> 00:20:35,360 Luau night. 381 00:20:35,440 --> 00:20:36,440 Luau night? 382 00:20:36,700 --> 00:20:37,700 I don't know. 383 00:20:38,060 --> 00:20:39,100 You're coming. I don't know. 384 00:20:44,650 --> 00:20:49,150 The secret to a perfectly roasted pig is constant rotation. 385 00:20:50,390 --> 00:20:52,190 Constant rotation. 386 00:20:53,670 --> 00:20:54,670 Woo! 387 00:20:59,690 --> 00:21:06,390 Tiny bubbles in the wine makes me 388 00:21:06,390 --> 00:21:09,590 feel happy, makes me feel fine. 389 00:21:09,990 --> 00:21:11,790 What the hell is that? 390 00:21:12,090 --> 00:21:12,909 Are you kidding? 391 00:21:12,910 --> 00:21:15,490 That's legendary Don Holmes to Waikiki himself. 392 00:21:15,690 --> 00:21:16,690 What's the matter with you? 393 00:21:17,890 --> 00:21:18,890 Let's hear some more. 394 00:21:19,010 --> 00:21:20,010 Oh, that's all I know. 395 00:21:20,330 --> 00:21:24,590 What? Yeah, I learned it from one of those K -Tel record commercials. I only 396 00:21:24,590 --> 00:21:25,970 ever heard like eight seconds of the song. 397 00:21:26,950 --> 00:21:30,190 How can you bust on Weaver not knowing anything? You're right. 398 00:21:30,470 --> 00:21:34,730 You're right. I apologize for misrepresenting the depth of my Don Ho 399 00:21:34,830 --> 00:21:35,830 babe. 400 00:21:35,970 --> 00:21:37,030 I forgive you. 401 00:21:42,350 --> 00:21:45,570 Thanks for walking me home. Sure, no problem. Thanks for the party. 402 00:21:49,830 --> 00:21:54,950 So, I think you should come up and hang out. 403 00:21:55,310 --> 00:21:56,310 Oh, man. 404 00:21:56,850 --> 00:21:57,850 Come on. 405 00:21:58,150 --> 00:21:59,150 I can't. 406 00:21:59,570 --> 00:22:00,590 I think you can. 407 00:22:03,090 --> 00:22:06,830 I, uh, I think I should go while it's still humanly possible. 408 00:22:08,770 --> 00:22:09,770 Are you sure? 409 00:22:11,280 --> 00:22:12,280 Yeah, sure. 410 00:22:13,680 --> 00:22:14,680 Okay. 411 00:22:17,220 --> 00:22:18,220 Good night. 412 00:22:33,140 --> 00:22:36,640 Gentlemen, thank you for your interest in performing at the Stucky Bowl 75th 413 00:22:36,640 --> 00:22:38,480 birthday party. Please state the name of your combo. 414 00:22:38,820 --> 00:22:40,220 The Warren Cheswick Experience. 415 00:22:41,150 --> 00:22:42,570 A few brief background questions. 416 00:22:42,790 --> 00:22:44,890 Would you each please identify your favorite Beatle? 417 00:22:45,470 --> 00:22:46,830 John. Paul. 418 00:22:47,330 --> 00:22:48,330 George. 419 00:22:48,510 --> 00:22:51,130 George. And your all -time favorite recording artist? 420 00:22:51,810 --> 00:22:52,689 Let's have him. 421 00:22:52,690 --> 00:22:53,690 Crosby, Stills, and Nash. 422 00:22:54,010 --> 00:22:55,350 Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young. 423 00:22:55,630 --> 00:22:57,450 Phil Collins, except no substitutes. 424 00:22:57,830 --> 00:23:00,990 If hired for the party, you will be expected to play requests on short 425 00:23:01,050 --> 00:23:03,670 Please now perform Everybody Plays the Fool by The Main Ingredient. 426 00:23:13,200 --> 00:23:14,640 Everybody plays. 427 00:23:15,200 --> 00:23:16,400 What do they play? 428 00:23:16,660 --> 00:23:17,660 The fool. 429 00:23:18,180 --> 00:23:20,600 Everybody plays the fool. 430 00:23:20,800 --> 00:23:25,660 But if you are in school, you better be a fool. 431 00:23:27,240 --> 00:23:32,380 And so on. First verse. 432 00:23:34,080 --> 00:23:35,320 You're hired, gentlemen. 433 00:23:42,160 --> 00:23:43,160 Hey, buddy. 434 00:23:43,660 --> 00:23:44,660 Hey, buddy. 435 00:23:44,880 --> 00:23:46,060 What's going on? What you doing? 436 00:23:46,260 --> 00:23:48,740 Ah, not a whole heck of a lot. Just trying to make the toughest decision of 437 00:23:48,740 --> 00:23:49,740 life, that's all. 438 00:23:49,840 --> 00:23:50,860 Wanton or hot and sour? 439 00:23:53,120 --> 00:23:55,820 Most of my tough decisions involve Chinese food. 440 00:23:57,480 --> 00:24:00,200 There's always occasional exception, like tonight. 441 00:24:00,560 --> 00:24:01,560 Tonight? What was tonight? 442 00:24:02,180 --> 00:24:06,800 Well, I, um... Mike. 443 00:24:09,380 --> 00:24:10,820 I almost cheated on Nancy. 444 00:24:12,250 --> 00:24:14,450 What? You remember those college girls? 445 00:24:14,650 --> 00:24:15,429 Yeah, from the party? 446 00:24:15,430 --> 00:24:16,950 Yeah, there was this one girl, Stacy. 447 00:24:17,390 --> 00:24:20,450 Oh, man. Oh, man. Please tell me nothing happened. Nothing, nothing, nothing 448 00:24:20,450 --> 00:24:24,650 happened, but there's a part of me that really wanted it to. 449 00:24:25,390 --> 00:24:26,390 You serious? 450 00:24:26,410 --> 00:24:27,870 Yeah. I'm serious. 451 00:24:29,310 --> 00:24:30,490 I love my wife. 452 00:24:31,090 --> 00:24:32,190 I love my daughter. 453 00:24:33,330 --> 00:24:36,230 I love being a husband and a father. It's great. 454 00:24:36,850 --> 00:24:38,230 But there's a... 455 00:24:39,470 --> 00:24:42,810 Something about being a 19 -year -old dupe with nothing to worry about except 456 00:24:42,810 --> 00:24:46,890 remembering the name of my fake ID is Benjamin Horowitz. 457 00:24:48,550 --> 00:24:49,550 You know? 458 00:24:50,050 --> 00:24:51,050 Sometimes, that's all. 459 00:25:02,010 --> 00:25:03,010 You're the chatroom guy. 460 00:25:03,630 --> 00:25:05,790 Eric Saperstein 2307, I presume? 461 00:25:06,170 --> 00:25:07,170 Yeah. 462 00:25:07,470 --> 00:25:08,590 So you're looking for fireworks. 463 00:25:09,280 --> 00:25:10,280 You got the candy? 464 00:25:10,440 --> 00:25:11,620 I got the spizzle. 465 00:25:12,360 --> 00:25:18,120 What? If you have fireworks and I'd like to buy them with money. Well, then, 466 00:25:18,140 --> 00:25:19,140 let's do some business. 467 00:25:19,840 --> 00:25:21,340 I don't know if what you got's any good. 468 00:25:21,660 --> 00:25:23,780 Dude, these fireworks are imported from Brazil. 469 00:25:23,980 --> 00:25:26,640 They make American fireworks look like they belong at the kids' table. 470 00:25:27,020 --> 00:25:31,400 Well, as I said to the guy who sold me my George Foreman grill, you got me. 471 00:25:34,360 --> 00:25:38,240 Oh, yeah. Hit me. 472 00:25:38,730 --> 00:25:39,730 Oh! 473 00:25:40,050 --> 00:25:41,050 You know what it is, Mike? 474 00:25:41,150 --> 00:25:43,590 She made you feel like a kid again. Come on, please. 475 00:25:44,170 --> 00:25:45,810 Please don't reduce my life to a cliche. 476 00:25:46,130 --> 00:25:48,190 I'm telling you, man, there's no romance like teenage romance. 477 00:25:48,690 --> 00:25:51,570 There's no love quite like the simple, dumb, blinding love of a teenage crush. 478 00:25:51,870 --> 00:25:52,870 We just changed the subject? 479 00:25:53,190 --> 00:25:54,190 Yeah. Sorry. 480 00:25:55,950 --> 00:25:56,950 It's okay. 481 00:25:57,250 --> 00:25:58,570 So what's on your mind? What are you thinking? 482 00:25:58,830 --> 00:26:00,790 Well, this whole stage thing actually reminds me of Carol. 483 00:26:01,350 --> 00:26:04,690 What? Well, think back to how young I was when I fell in love with Carol. I 484 00:26:04,690 --> 00:26:06,470 15 years old. I hadn't even spoken to her yet. 485 00:26:07,090 --> 00:26:08,090 So? 486 00:26:08,760 --> 00:26:11,900 So, for three years now, Carol's been telling me that she can't be with me 487 00:26:11,900 --> 00:26:16,640 because I put her on a pedestal like she's some kind of idealized dream girl. 488 00:26:17,200 --> 00:26:18,200 Well, what if she's right? 489 00:26:20,420 --> 00:26:21,780 What if she's been right all along? 490 00:26:31,380 --> 00:26:32,380 How do you like the sandwich? 491 00:26:32,700 --> 00:26:33,700 Good. 492 00:26:33,760 --> 00:26:34,940 Any comments, questions? 493 00:26:35,680 --> 00:26:36,680 Nope. Aha! 494 00:26:37,649 --> 00:26:40,690 That turkey is a buck a pound cheaper than our regular turkey. And since you 495 00:26:40,690 --> 00:26:43,350 can't tell the difference, we've not only got ourselves some delicious new 496 00:26:43,350 --> 00:26:46,530 turkey, but also some delicious new savings. 497 00:26:48,230 --> 00:26:49,330 I went to Luau tonight. 498 00:26:50,010 --> 00:26:51,630 What? I went to Luau tonight. 499 00:26:51,870 --> 00:26:52,769 At the college? 500 00:26:52,770 --> 00:26:56,370 Yeah. I was with you when I went to your parents. Stacey came to my office and 501 00:26:56,370 --> 00:26:57,550 asked me to help her and her friend study. 502 00:26:58,110 --> 00:26:58,969 So I did. 503 00:26:58,970 --> 00:27:01,490 You know, next thing I knew, we were at Luau tonight. 504 00:27:02,590 --> 00:27:04,490 Okay, Michael, I'm going to ask you to sit back down. 505 00:27:11,660 --> 00:27:13,480 Anything you'd like to tell me about Luau Knight? 506 00:27:16,120 --> 00:27:17,460 There's a big pig. Mike? 507 00:27:21,780 --> 00:27:23,040 Nothing happened, okay? 508 00:27:24,040 --> 00:27:27,780 Nothing happened, but almost did. 509 00:27:32,120 --> 00:27:35,280 Well, I'm seriously in need of a definition of almost. 510 00:27:38,570 --> 00:27:41,090 End of the night, I walked Stacy back to her dorm. 511 00:27:43,910 --> 00:27:45,670 She kind of moved in for a kiss. 512 00:27:48,250 --> 00:27:49,250 I didn't do it. 513 00:27:50,670 --> 00:27:51,670 You didn't? 514 00:27:51,790 --> 00:27:52,790 No. 515 00:27:55,570 --> 00:27:56,570 Why not? 516 00:27:58,810 --> 00:28:00,210 Because it wouldn't have been worth it. 517 00:28:06,910 --> 00:28:07,910 You're crazy. 518 00:28:08,190 --> 00:28:09,250 Girl was a babe and a half. 519 00:28:10,050 --> 00:28:11,090 Believe me, I know. 520 00:28:13,670 --> 00:28:18,450 But there's nothing compared to my wife, who's a babe and three quarters. 521 00:28:19,810 --> 00:28:20,810 It's a good thing, honey. 522 00:28:30,470 --> 00:28:32,250 Eli, where'd you get those hats? 523 00:28:33,430 --> 00:28:34,430 Oh, come on. 524 00:28:35,360 --> 00:28:36,580 You got to start talking to me sometime. 525 00:28:36,820 --> 00:28:37,820 We love each other. 526 00:28:38,180 --> 00:28:39,500 We do. We love each other. 527 00:28:39,780 --> 00:28:43,680 You know, listen, man. I told you I wasn't ready to talk to no girl, but you 528 00:28:43,680 --> 00:28:44,680 kept on yapping away. 529 00:28:44,760 --> 00:28:47,660 Yip, yip, yip, yip, yip, yip, yip. Like one of them little foo -foo dogs with a 530 00:28:47,660 --> 00:28:49,900 $40 hairdo that'll grab your leg and won't let go. 531 00:28:50,200 --> 00:28:51,840 That's why I'm crying, because I'm not following you. 532 00:28:52,140 --> 00:28:55,640 Dude, a woman as fine as Vivian Garner will not talk to a guy in a wheelchair. 533 00:28:55,940 --> 00:28:58,120 Well, how do you know it's the wheelchair? Maybe she just doesn't like 534 00:28:58,240 --> 00:29:01,060 What? Think about it. You don't have a great personality. I don't think you're 535 00:29:01,060 --> 00:29:02,260 particularly attractive man. 536 00:29:02,480 --> 00:29:03,900 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Hold up. Fall back. 537 00:29:04,250 --> 00:29:07,710 Before this happened to me, there wasn't a woman alive that could resist the rap 538 00:29:07,710 --> 00:29:09,250 of Eli Cartwright Goggins III. 539 00:29:09,610 --> 00:29:12,490 Yeah, yeah, I keep hearing about the rap. And what was your big line here? 540 00:29:12,710 --> 00:29:15,650 Would you like to go to the Stucky Bowl party with me? Very creative. You're 541 00:29:15,650 --> 00:29:19,050 missing the point, man. Not even William Shakespeare could smooth talk a woman 542 00:29:19,050 --> 00:29:22,690 in one of these things, man. No, you're missing the point. Girls reject dudes. 543 00:29:22,890 --> 00:29:25,110 That's what they do. And why does a girl reject a dude? 544 00:29:25,690 --> 00:29:28,630 Maybe she don't like the sound of his voice. Maybe she don't like his threads. 545 00:29:28,850 --> 00:29:31,170 And yes, maybe she don't like his wheelchair. 546 00:29:32,070 --> 00:29:33,070 But we dudes. 547 00:29:33,690 --> 00:29:36,290 So we pick ourselves up and we go back for more. 548 00:29:38,750 --> 00:29:40,830 What? You talking like me, Nick? 549 00:29:41,890 --> 00:29:42,890 Might have been. 550 00:29:48,490 --> 00:29:49,530 Hey, what's going on? 551 00:29:52,550 --> 00:29:53,550 I made a decision. 552 00:29:53,750 --> 00:29:54,750 Yeah? 553 00:30:05,320 --> 00:30:06,320 How'd Carol take the news? 554 00:30:07,020 --> 00:30:08,020 I haven't told her yet. 555 00:30:08,600 --> 00:30:10,120 You think you better get that over with? 556 00:30:10,700 --> 00:30:11,900 Yeah, I better get that over with. 557 00:30:12,200 --> 00:30:13,200 Let's go ahead. 558 00:30:16,080 --> 00:30:17,080 Hey, Ed. 559 00:30:18,000 --> 00:30:20,860 Yeah? If you don't come back alive, can I have this? 560 00:30:23,360 --> 00:30:24,360 Yeah. 561 00:31:04,300 --> 00:31:06,560 Hey, Molly, have you seen Carol? Uh, no, she's down. 562 00:31:07,500 --> 00:31:08,500 What's going on? 563 00:31:09,960 --> 00:31:11,760 Nothing. I just have to tell her something. 564 00:31:12,400 --> 00:31:13,400 See ya. 565 00:31:59,600 --> 00:32:02,740 I don't think I can take you being adorable right now. 566 00:32:04,100 --> 00:32:05,100 I'm sorry. 567 00:32:05,320 --> 00:32:06,680 I can't turn that off. 568 00:32:48,940 --> 00:32:52,300 Like my body, move myself at last. 569 00:32:52,580 --> 00:32:57,020 In the warm liquid, glow and glow and laugh. 570 00:32:57,860 --> 00:33:01,460 Classical music, laughing mouth. 571 00:33:01,780 --> 00:33:04,180 The ringing of my ears. 572 00:33:40,040 --> 00:33:45,840 Am I waiting for the uncovering of simple paths 573 00:33:45,840 --> 00:33:52,680 between the branches, flowering chance, thin slats 574 00:33:52,680 --> 00:33:59,080 rattling, fingers pushing through, slowly brushing past a fast 575 00:33:59,080 --> 00:34:00,500 glimpse of you? 576 00:34:24,010 --> 00:34:27,929 Thank you, Jimmy. Welcome, everybody, to Stucky Bowl's 75th birthday. 577 00:34:30,909 --> 00:34:34,989 Bill Brown looks pretty good for 75, huh? Although I think she could use a 578 00:34:34,989 --> 00:34:37,110 of Botox between lanes 9 and 10. 579 00:34:39,310 --> 00:34:45,850 Thank you, Jimmy. All right, the request lines are open. You say it, we play it. 580 00:34:46,030 --> 00:34:47,030 Tears of a Clown. 581 00:34:47,170 --> 00:34:51,670 You got it, Godfrey. Tears of a Clown from Motown. 582 00:34:52,440 --> 00:34:53,460 To your town. 583 00:34:53,800 --> 00:34:54,800 Hit it, boys. 584 00:34:55,840 --> 00:35:01,740 Yeah, I don't know. I knew 585 00:35:01,740 --> 00:35:05,400 a clown. His name was Emma. 586 00:35:05,660 --> 00:35:07,660 Punched him in the stomach and he cried. 587 00:35:08,720 --> 00:35:12,020 He had tears streaming down his face. 588 00:35:12,440 --> 00:35:15,980 Oh, boo -hoo, you're just a little clown. You couldn't make the children 589 00:35:16,720 --> 00:35:18,060 You had to make them cry. 590 00:35:25,640 --> 00:35:28,060 And this is his own party. He's a lucky man. 591 00:35:28,620 --> 00:35:29,660 Come on, let's dance. 592 00:35:29,960 --> 00:35:30,899 Play it in dance. 593 00:35:30,900 --> 00:35:31,900 Come on. 594 00:35:33,320 --> 00:35:34,320 Yeah! 595 00:36:03,400 --> 00:36:04,400 Now you? 596 00:36:05,020 --> 00:36:08,080 A ship in harbor is safe, but that's not what ships are for. 597 00:36:09,720 --> 00:36:13,320 I spent three hours searching for the perfect quotation to inspire you. It was 598 00:36:13,320 --> 00:36:15,280 either that one or the following gem from Groucho Marx. 599 00:36:15,880 --> 00:36:18,600 Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. 600 00:36:19,240 --> 00:36:21,580 Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read. 601 00:36:22,760 --> 00:36:24,800 Shirley, what does that have to do with anything? 602 00:36:25,160 --> 00:36:26,440 Nothing. That's why I didn't choose it. 603 00:36:26,960 --> 00:36:27,960 Now go. 604 00:36:46,560 --> 00:36:49,100 If she likes him, I get the credit. You know that, right? I mean, you just can't 605 00:36:49,100 --> 00:36:51,500 swoop in here at the last minute and expect to get the credit. I don't care 606 00:36:51,500 --> 00:36:53,200 about credit. I just want Eli to be happy. 607 00:36:59,640 --> 00:37:00,640 Credit. 608 00:37:22,610 --> 00:37:23,610 Frankie. 609 00:37:26,090 --> 00:37:27,350 I came to say goodbye. 610 00:37:28,210 --> 00:37:30,570 What? You haven't given me a reason to stay. 611 00:37:32,010 --> 00:37:33,010 Frankie. 612 00:37:36,770 --> 00:37:37,770 Hey. Hey. 613 00:37:37,910 --> 00:37:38,689 It's here. 614 00:37:38,690 --> 00:37:39,690 Oh, boy. 615 00:37:40,010 --> 00:37:41,590 What do you think he's doing? He got me. 616 00:37:42,670 --> 00:37:43,830 You know, don't you? 617 00:37:45,770 --> 00:37:48,290 I must never betray the confidence of his best friend. 618 00:37:52,970 --> 00:37:54,430 Hello? Carol, where are you? 619 00:37:55,310 --> 00:37:59,530 Yeah, we're all here at... Yeah, he's here. He's talking to Frankie. 620 00:38:00,150 --> 00:38:01,530 Wait, Carol, hold on a second. 621 00:38:01,970 --> 00:38:02,970 Is that Carol? 622 00:38:03,190 --> 00:38:04,190 Yeah. 623 00:38:05,530 --> 00:38:06,530 Carol, it's me. 624 00:38:06,850 --> 00:38:08,050 Listen, we need to talk. 625 00:38:10,670 --> 00:38:11,710 Take what I'm coming to you. 626 00:39:06,410 --> 00:39:07,550 This is the exact spot. 627 00:39:08,490 --> 00:39:09,490 What? 628 00:39:09,730 --> 00:39:11,990 My first night I came back to Stucky about three years ago. 629 00:39:13,330 --> 00:39:14,350 This is where we were. 630 00:39:18,090 --> 00:39:22,950 All right. 631 00:39:31,370 --> 00:39:33,330 Make any interesting decisions lately? 632 00:39:36,029 --> 00:39:37,029 Guess I have. 633 00:39:50,970 --> 00:39:52,750 You're not going to make me guess, are you? 634 00:40:00,830 --> 00:40:02,390 First time I ever laid eyes on you? 635 00:40:04,030 --> 00:40:05,110 It was ninth grade. 636 00:40:06,240 --> 00:40:07,580 Mr. Rourke's biology class. 637 00:40:07,960 --> 00:40:11,200 I looked across the room, and you were pouring water into a test tube. 638 00:40:12,740 --> 00:40:16,200 You were wearing a blue shirt with white crisscross strings right down the 639 00:40:16,200 --> 00:40:17,200 sides. 640 00:40:18,500 --> 00:40:23,480 And the moment I saw you, I just went. 641 00:40:32,170 --> 00:40:35,710 From the day I came back here to Stuckyville and I walked into your 642 00:40:35,710 --> 00:40:38,190 ask you out and all the other times I asked you out since, you just kept 643 00:40:38,190 --> 00:40:40,890 me the same thing over and over and over again. 644 00:40:42,790 --> 00:40:47,190 I didn't fall in love with you, but rather some high school kid's fixated 645 00:40:47,190 --> 00:40:48,190 version of you. 646 00:40:51,210 --> 00:40:56,890 And when I thought about it, I thought about it, I thought about it, I thought 647 00:40:56,890 --> 00:40:58,910 about it, I thought about it, and I decided. 648 00:41:02,919 --> 00:41:03,919 You're right. 649 00:41:07,860 --> 00:41:09,300 I didn't fall in love with you. 650 00:41:10,400 --> 00:41:13,640 I fell in love with that girl wearing the blue shirt with the white crisscross 651 00:41:13,640 --> 00:41:16,360 strings down the side that I never said a single word to in high school. 652 00:41:21,740 --> 00:41:23,200 So I decided to be with Frankie. 653 00:41:26,100 --> 00:41:27,100 So I went to look for you. 654 00:41:27,780 --> 00:41:30,300 I went to look for you to tell you. I looked all over. I looked... 655 00:41:30,779 --> 00:41:33,580 smiling, going, I looked at your high school, I looked at your house, I looked 656 00:41:33,580 --> 00:41:34,580 all over, all over. 657 00:41:36,420 --> 00:41:37,600 And a funny thing happened. 658 00:41:40,160 --> 00:41:43,140 Everywhere I went, I saw us. 659 00:41:44,880 --> 00:41:47,460 Laughing, crying, arguing. 660 00:41:49,440 --> 00:41:56,060 And I realized, yeah, maybe I fell in love with that girl wearing the blue 661 00:41:56,060 --> 00:41:59,080 with the white crisscross strings down the sides in high school, but now... 662 00:42:11,370 --> 00:42:17,610 I love every part of you And we have to be together Can I please kiss you? 663 00:43:05,870 --> 00:43:08,030 How can you honor the great women of comedy? 664 00:43:08,910 --> 00:43:11,010 By giving them the whole night to be funny. 665 00:43:11,230 --> 00:43:17,930 NBC Tuesday from Lucy to Carol, from Mary to Roseanne. 90 minutes of TV's 666 00:43:17,930 --> 00:43:19,990 funniest females in their greatest moments. 667 00:43:20,210 --> 00:43:21,210 But wait. 668 00:43:21,490 --> 00:43:24,410 Julia Louis -Dreyfus is back in new episodes of Watching Ellie. 669 00:43:24,670 --> 00:43:27,830 Us Weekly says there's not a funnier actress in television today. 670 00:43:28,710 --> 00:43:31,590 The great women of TV comedy and all new Watching Ellie. 671 00:43:33,230 --> 00:43:34,570 NBC Tuesday. 672 00:43:35,560 --> 00:43:36,560 No. 49043

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.