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1
00:00:07,080 --> 00:00:08,640
Anybody? Hey, Mike, what's up?
2
00:00:08,720 --> 00:00:09,770
What's your snack?
3
00:00:09,960 --> 00:00:12,130
Snack? We have food here. Yeah, but it
sucks.
4
00:00:12,300 --> 00:00:13,350
Yeah, that's true.
5
00:00:14,340 --> 00:00:15,390
Oh. What?
6
00:00:15,391 --> 00:00:17,899
What brand of potato chips are these? I
don't know.
7
00:00:17,900 --> 00:00:21,119
Can't eat them. What? Can't eat them.
What are you talking about? They're
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00:00:21,120 --> 00:00:22,170
I was 12 years old.
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00:00:22,171 --> 00:00:26,059
I bought these potato chips, and on the
bag it said, no one can eat just one.
10
00:00:26,060 --> 00:00:29,159
Right. I was like, yeah, right. No snack
food company is going to tell me what I
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00:00:29,160 --> 00:00:32,899
can or cannot do, right? So what I do is
I eat one single chip, throw the rest
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00:00:32,900 --> 00:00:35,309
of the bag away, make sure to never eat
them again.
13
00:00:35,310 --> 00:00:39,349
Well, you're kidding me. I am not
kidding. I, Edward J. Stevens, am the
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00:00:39,350 --> 00:00:40,400
ate just one.
15
00:00:42,221 --> 00:00:46,189
I'll give you ten bucks if you eat a
chip.
16
00:00:46,190 --> 00:00:47,240
Come on, don't.
17
00:00:47,470 --> 00:00:51,020
Ten bucks, Ed. Don't do that. Come on.
I've put 20 years of my life into this.
18
00:00:51,110 --> 00:00:52,610
You're not going to do it, huh?
19
00:00:53,310 --> 00:00:58,470
I just... All right, all right. Let the
word go forth that it...
20
00:00:58,830 --> 00:01:01,410
3 .12 p .m., December 5th, 2001.
21
00:01:01,870 --> 00:01:07,369
Ed Stevens, for the first time in
history, refused to...
22
00:01:07,370 --> 00:01:20,049
When
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00:01:20,050 --> 00:01:22,690
it's my moment in the sun.
24
00:01:26,280 --> 00:01:29,220
Oh how beautiful I'll be.
25
00:01:31,420 --> 00:01:34,860
But in a normal sort of way.
26
00:01:37,200 --> 00:01:40,140
Like I am you and you are me.
27
00:02:17,390 --> 00:02:18,710
You shut off the car, okay?
28
00:02:18,870 --> 00:02:19,920
I did.
29
00:02:20,330 --> 00:02:24,470
It sometimes just takes a little while.
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00:02:27,030 --> 00:02:30,330
You know, this is ironic, don't you
think?
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00:02:30,331 --> 00:02:31,769
How so?
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00:02:31,770 --> 00:02:35,089
Here I am. I have finally decided to buy
another car. And right when we're on
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00:02:35,090 --> 00:02:37,569
our way to the car dealership, the old
car stops running.
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00:02:37,570 --> 00:02:41,369
You know, it's like she's trying to say
to me, don't tell me. Molly, this car is
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00:02:41,370 --> 00:02:43,709
broken down every single time we've been
in it.
36
00:02:43,710 --> 00:02:44,760
Sadie.
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00:02:45,290 --> 00:02:47,350
Did you just call me Sadie? No, the car.
38
00:02:47,570 --> 00:02:52,009
The car. Her name is Sadie. You named
your car Sadie? Yeah, when I was 18, I
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00:02:52,010 --> 00:02:53,510
thought it sounded cool.
40
00:02:54,270 --> 00:02:57,410
What 18 -year -old thinks the name Sadie
is cool?
41
00:02:58,990 --> 00:03:00,750
Because I thought I was the only one.
42
00:03:02,350 --> 00:03:05,290
So, uh, what do you think is wrong?
43
00:03:07,470 --> 00:03:08,520
No idea.
44
00:03:09,330 --> 00:03:10,380
I'm not a car guy.
45
00:03:10,381 --> 00:03:13,329
Then why are you just standing there
staring at it like that?
46
00:03:13,330 --> 00:03:14,470
This is what car guys do.
47
00:03:15,370 --> 00:03:16,420
Give it a try.
48
00:03:16,730 --> 00:03:17,780
All right.
49
00:03:18,190 --> 00:03:19,240
Yeah.
50
00:03:20,090 --> 00:03:21,170
Got to cross the arms.
51
00:03:22,470 --> 00:03:23,520
Yeah.
52
00:03:24,450 --> 00:03:26,500
Then you move back a little bit like
this.
53
00:03:28,290 --> 00:03:30,750
And a little nod.
54
00:03:45,070 --> 00:03:46,330
You get rid of your old car.
55
00:03:46,390 --> 00:03:49,760
No. Miles, you're going to kill yourself
in that thing. I know, I know.
56
00:03:50,030 --> 00:03:52,380
Jim said the same thing to me the other
morning.
57
00:03:54,010 --> 00:03:55,060
The other morning?
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00:03:55,670 --> 00:03:56,720
At your house.
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00:03:56,730 --> 00:03:57,780
He slept on the couch.
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00:03:57,781 --> 00:03:59,069
And you?
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00:03:59,070 --> 00:04:00,120
In my bed.
62
00:04:00,121 --> 00:04:03,049
But were you both on the couch or both
in your bed before he slept on the couch
63
00:04:03,050 --> 00:04:04,310
and you slept in your bed?
64
00:04:04,770 --> 00:04:07,000
This is the worst Dr. Smith book ever
written.
65
00:04:07,090 --> 00:04:08,230
Did you sleep with Jim?
66
00:04:08,250 --> 00:04:11,150
Not in a car and not on a boat, not on a
train and not in a boat.
67
00:04:11,590 --> 00:04:14,180
Really? You didn't sleep with Jim in a
boat? Shut up.
68
00:04:14,370 --> 00:04:15,850
This is the best I can do.
69
00:04:17,310 --> 00:04:20,149
The Stuckyville Board of Education will
come to order.
70
00:04:21,450 --> 00:04:26,229
Any old business, Mr. Secretary? Excuse
me, before we go down the list of old
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00:04:26,230 --> 00:04:29,049
business, I have some pressing new
business I'd like to raise.
72
00:04:29,050 --> 00:04:30,970
Board Member Crane, you have the floor.
73
00:04:31,250 --> 00:04:32,300
Thank you.
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00:04:34,410 --> 00:04:40,010
Last week, an atrocity was perpetrated
at the Stuckyville Middle School.
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00:04:41,690 --> 00:04:42,930
Arnold Bancroft.
76
00:04:43,850 --> 00:04:48,169
The middle school drama teacher refused
to give the lead of the school play to
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00:04:48,170 --> 00:04:53,570
one of his students, Paul Gordon,
because Paul Gordon is an African
78
00:04:56,250 --> 00:04:57,510
How do you know this?
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00:04:58,310 --> 00:05:01,500
I spoke with the boy's father, and he
submitted this complaint.
80
00:05:01,690 --> 00:05:04,810
Oh, that doesn't sound like Ernie
Bancroft. No, not at all.
81
00:05:05,070 --> 00:05:09,450
I, for one, find Arnold Bancroft's act
to be heinous.
82
00:05:09,900 --> 00:05:15,839
and despicable. And I strongly urge this
board to remove him immediately so that
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00:05:15,840 --> 00:05:19,520
prejudice and racism can never find a
home here in Stuckyville.
84
00:05:21,960 --> 00:05:23,460
We're going to do one more time.
85
00:05:28,840 --> 00:05:31,100
Warren Cheswick, tell me.
86
00:05:31,101 --> 00:05:35,189
When exactly did you decide that wearing
turtlenecks was a good idea? Oh, don't
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00:05:35,190 --> 00:05:36,240
start with me, Diane.
88
00:05:36,650 --> 00:05:39,600
You're not exactly dressed like Veuve
Clicquot yourself.
89
00:05:39,810 --> 00:05:41,750
Veuve Clicquot is a champagne.
90
00:05:42,150 --> 00:05:46,070
Oh, but it's a champagne well -dressed
in a bouquet of aromatic flavors.
91
00:05:46,990 --> 00:05:48,040
Nice try.
92
00:05:48,210 --> 00:05:50,260
I've got a good idea for a little
project.
93
00:05:50,730 --> 00:05:53,590
You know something, Diane? These ideas
don't work.
94
00:05:53,850 --> 00:05:55,230
What are you talking about?
95
00:05:55,231 --> 00:05:58,029
Trying out for the wrestling team might
not have been a home run, but it was
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00:05:58,030 --> 00:05:59,290
certainly a solid single.
97
00:06:00,049 --> 00:06:03,670
Hey, you're on the map with Jessica
Martel, turtleneck man. Cheer up.
98
00:06:03,671 --> 00:06:07,309
No, no, no, no. You see, that's just the
thing. I was on the map with Jessica
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00:06:07,310 --> 00:06:08,790
Martel last year, okay?
100
00:06:08,791 --> 00:06:12,729
So it's the same thing. I do something
heroic, and then the next day she sees
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00:06:12,730 --> 00:06:14,950
and she smiles and says, Hey, Warren.
102
00:06:15,870 --> 00:06:18,570
And that's it. Nothing ever happens.
103
00:06:19,550 --> 00:06:23,769
God, you look exactly like someone, and
I can't put my finger on it. Whoa, are
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00:06:23,770 --> 00:06:25,510
you even listening to me? Calm down.
105
00:06:25,950 --> 00:06:27,570
This year will be different. Why?
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00:06:28,070 --> 00:06:29,330
Because I'm here. Oh.
107
00:06:29,331 --> 00:06:30,639
Of course.
108
00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:33,859
Meet me at the Smiling Goat after school
and we'll talk about my idea.
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00:06:33,860 --> 00:06:34,910
Fine.
110
00:06:36,840 --> 00:06:37,890
David Schwimmer.
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00:06:38,220 --> 00:06:41,899
That's who it is. You look exactly like
David Schwimmer. Get out of here. I do
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00:06:41,900 --> 00:06:44,970
not. Yes, you do. Say this. Say, hey,
Monica, where's my monkey?
113
00:06:45,020 --> 00:06:46,070
I didn't say that.
114
00:06:46,071 --> 00:06:47,599
Come on, come on, come on. Say it. Say
it.
115
00:06:47,600 --> 00:06:50,100
Hey, Monica, where's my monkey?
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00:06:50,660 --> 00:06:51,710
I didn't say it.
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00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:55,340
Okay. See you later, Schwimm.
118
00:06:55,960 --> 00:06:58,550
They haven't used a monkey on that show
in ten years.
119
00:07:02,201 --> 00:07:06,489
There's not a single food that I don't
like.
120
00:07:06,490 --> 00:07:07,540
Well, that can't be.
121
00:07:07,541 --> 00:07:10,969
I'm not saying I don't like certain
foods more than others. I'm just saying
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00:07:10,970 --> 00:07:13,569
there's not a single food that exists on
this planet that I and Stevens don't
123
00:07:13,570 --> 00:07:14,620
enjoy.
124
00:07:17,370 --> 00:07:18,420
Okra.
125
00:07:20,621 --> 00:07:22,569
Like it.
126
00:07:22,570 --> 00:07:23,620
Liver.
127
00:07:23,821 --> 00:07:25,789
Like it.
128
00:07:25,790 --> 00:07:29,740
Dog. Dog? He's in a hot dog? Like it.
No, not as in hot dog, just dog.
129
00:07:30,500 --> 00:07:32,400
Poodle, shih tzu, schnauzer, dog.
130
00:07:32,401 --> 00:07:34,599
That's not a food. People don't eat dog.
131
00:07:34,600 --> 00:07:35,650
They do in Korea.
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00:07:35,700 --> 00:07:38,400
In Korea, it is perfectly acceptable to
eat dog.
133
00:07:41,180 --> 00:07:42,230
Like it.
134
00:07:44,340 --> 00:07:46,200
They're going to fire Arnie Bancroft.
135
00:07:46,201 --> 00:07:49,599
How do you know that? Victor Sadaka from
the board said that they met and the
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00:07:49,600 --> 00:07:51,180
vote was seven to two.
137
00:07:51,181 --> 00:07:53,599
They're going to announce the decision
tonight.
138
00:07:53,600 --> 00:07:54,939
Is that drama teacher thing?
139
00:07:54,940 --> 00:07:55,990
Yeah.
140
00:07:56,120 --> 00:07:58,350
Hey, you should help him, Ed. He's a
great guy.
141
00:07:58,351 --> 00:08:01,739
Doesn't sound like a great guy. I know
Arnie Bancroft, and Arnie Bancroft is
142
00:08:01,740 --> 00:08:04,579
a racist. There's got to be more to it
than that. I'm sure he just gave it to
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00:08:04,580 --> 00:08:06,020
the kid who deserved the part.
144
00:08:06,021 --> 00:08:08,519
What does your little buddy Principal
Martino think about this?
145
00:08:08,520 --> 00:08:12,859
Dennis? Uh, this is eighth grade. Middle
school. Not high school. Dennis doesn't
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00:08:12,860 --> 00:08:14,119
have anything to do with it.
147
00:08:14,120 --> 00:08:15,170
I see.
148
00:08:16,700 --> 00:08:18,140
So, what do you say, Ed?
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00:08:18,141 --> 00:08:22,299
Okay, I'll talk to him, but you've got
to understand, I'm not going to help
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00:08:22,300 --> 00:08:24,239
guy out if any of this turns out to be
remotely true.
151
00:08:24,240 --> 00:08:24,899
It won't.
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00:08:24,900 --> 00:08:25,950
Trust us.
153
00:08:28,190 --> 00:08:29,430
Great. Terrific.
154
00:08:30,430 --> 00:08:31,480
I need dogs.
155
00:08:32,950 --> 00:08:34,000
Hi, all.
156
00:08:34,230 --> 00:08:35,280
Hi, Molly.
157
00:08:36,370 --> 00:08:38,010
Hi. Hi. Ready to go?
158
00:08:38,429 --> 00:08:41,909
Yeah. I am going to buy a car.
159
00:08:42,450 --> 00:08:45,400
And drop off the old one? Yeah, one of
the students wants it.
160
00:08:45,790 --> 00:08:46,840
You sold Sadie?
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00:08:50,030 --> 00:08:54,190
Okay, maybe it was a mistake. I think I
should have kept. No, Molly.
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00:08:55,150 --> 00:08:56,200
Walk.
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00:08:56,230 --> 00:08:57,510
X -Day on 886.
164
00:08:57,850 --> 00:09:00,440
Okay, I heard that. Yeah, but you
couldn't decode it.
165
00:09:00,790 --> 00:09:04,130
They're having like a whole relationship
thing, huh?
166
00:09:04,770 --> 00:09:05,820
Yeah.
167
00:09:06,530 --> 00:09:10,380
And you and I are just left with night
after night of empty physical pleasure.
168
00:09:11,190 --> 00:09:13,420
Yeah, I'm sorry. You're right. That's
not you.
169
00:09:13,921 --> 00:09:20,929
I understand that's what you did for
Carson Daly and James Van Der Beek, but
170
00:09:20,930 --> 00:09:22,850
we're talking about Freddie Prinze Jr.
171
00:09:23,110 --> 00:09:24,370
This is my cousin Allison.
172
00:09:24,870 --> 00:09:25,950
She works for a big...
173
00:09:26,190 --> 00:09:27,830
Publicity firm in New York.
174
00:09:28,190 --> 00:09:29,930
What? You got me a publicist?
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00:09:30,130 --> 00:09:31,270
Mine. Warner.
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00:09:31,590 --> 00:09:34,930
Hi. Allison Goldstein. PJR Publicity.
177
00:09:35,170 --> 00:09:36,220
It's Warren.
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00:09:36,390 --> 00:09:37,630
Warren. I'm sorry.
179
00:09:37,631 --> 00:09:41,869
So I'm back home for a few days and I am
happy to help you out with what's her
180
00:09:41,870 --> 00:09:46,410
name? Jessica Martell. You know Freddie
Prinze Jr.? A total sweetheart.
181
00:09:47,830 --> 00:09:49,150
So, first question.
182
00:09:49,850 --> 00:09:52,810
When people think of Warren, what do
they think?
183
00:09:53,240 --> 00:09:56,730
I think the name Warren Cheswick
conjures many things to many people.
184
00:09:56,820 --> 00:10:01,239
I think for some, he's a funny and
sensitive young man. To others, sexual
185
00:10:01,240 --> 00:10:03,960
potency springs to mind, and to
others... Warren.
186
00:10:05,880 --> 00:10:07,480
Everyone thinks he's a loser.
187
00:10:07,860 --> 00:10:09,180
Well, that's a bit general.
188
00:10:09,620 --> 00:10:12,330
It's not a problem. We're going to
create our own image.
189
00:10:12,620 --> 00:10:17,680
A guy on the go, cool, mysterious,
always where the action is.
190
00:10:18,040 --> 00:10:19,090
Great.
191
00:10:19,660 --> 00:10:21,040
How are you going to do that?
192
00:10:21,450 --> 00:10:25,550
The quickest and easiest way to increase
your star power is to date up.
193
00:10:25,551 --> 00:10:29,609
What does that mean? Nicole Kidman
marries Tom Cruise?
194
00:10:29,610 --> 00:10:30,660
Her profile goes up.
195
00:10:31,030 --> 00:10:34,050
Lara Flynn Boyle hooks up with Jack
Nicholson? Up she goes.
196
00:10:34,410 --> 00:10:37,670
Cool. Hey, oh, could you get me that
chick from Dark Angel?
197
00:10:38,010 --> 00:10:39,910
I'm a publicist, not a magician.
198
00:10:41,050 --> 00:10:42,100
Here's what we can do.
199
00:10:42,101 --> 00:10:45,749
We find a pretty girl that nobody knows,
snap a few pictures of you with her,
200
00:10:45,750 --> 00:10:49,210
flip one into the local paper, and
prepto, you're no longer a loser.
201
00:10:49,820 --> 00:10:52,590
You're a guy who's dating some model
from New York City.
202
00:10:55,940 --> 00:10:57,140
Freddie, how you doing?
203
00:10:58,360 --> 00:10:59,410
Uh -huh.
204
00:11:00,900 --> 00:11:01,950
Uh -huh.
205
00:11:04,820 --> 00:11:08,160
Mr. B, you think maybe we could work
this into the show?
206
00:11:11,760 --> 00:11:15,680
Oh, um, uh... I'm gonna have to think
about that, okay, Wally?
207
00:11:16,980 --> 00:11:18,030
Stare if you need it.
208
00:11:18,160 --> 00:11:19,210
Thank you.
209
00:11:20,840 --> 00:11:21,890
That's good.
210
00:11:22,980 --> 00:11:24,030
Mr. Bancroft?
211
00:11:24,200 --> 00:11:25,250
Yes. Hi.
212
00:11:25,251 --> 00:11:28,659
I'm Ed Stevens. I'm a lawyer. Good
friend of Carol Vestey's and Molly
213
00:11:28,660 --> 00:11:31,199
who are concerned about you, sir. They
thought maybe I could offer you some
214
00:11:31,200 --> 00:11:35,319
help. The Paul Gordon incident, right?
Carol and Molly tell me that everyone's
215
00:11:35,320 --> 00:11:37,539
jumping to conclusions on this thing.
People are saying that the reason you
216
00:11:37,540 --> 00:11:40,119
didn't give Paul the lead is that he's
African American. Is that what they're
217
00:11:40,120 --> 00:11:41,170
saying? Yeah.
218
00:11:41,220 --> 00:11:42,270
They're right.
219
00:11:44,160 --> 00:11:45,210
Pardon me?
220
00:11:45,600 --> 00:11:49,060
I didn't give Paul the lead in the
school play because he's black.
221
00:11:53,251 --> 00:11:59,719
Mr. Bancroft, are you saying that Paul
Gordon actually is a better actor than
222
00:11:59,720 --> 00:12:01,899
the kid you gave the lead to? Than Riley
Evans?
223
00:12:01,900 --> 00:12:05,390
Yes, Paul Gordon is definitely better.
You can't even compare the two.
224
00:12:05,540 --> 00:12:09,599
But, okay, I'm confused. Nothing to be
confused about. I didn't give Paul the
225
00:12:09,600 --> 00:12:11,400
part because he's African American.
226
00:12:12,300 --> 00:12:19,179
So you're actually admitting that you're
racist, prejudiced, don't care much for
227
00:12:19,180 --> 00:12:20,059
the minorities.
228
00:12:20,060 --> 00:12:21,110
Is that true?
229
00:12:22,420 --> 00:12:25,180
I have poured my heart into this drama
club.
230
00:12:25,690 --> 00:12:28,640
Do you know I still have ex -students
who come and visit me?
231
00:12:28,641 --> 00:12:32,029
Even ones who haven't acted again since
the eighth grade, and they all say the
232
00:12:32,030 --> 00:12:36,249
same thing. Mr. B, those plays we did
with you meant something because you
233
00:12:36,250 --> 00:12:37,750
always took them so seriously.
234
00:12:37,751 --> 00:12:39,869
I'm not sure you're answering my
question.
235
00:12:39,870 --> 00:12:43,770
Do you know why I take these little
rinky -dink productions so seriously?
236
00:12:44,510 --> 00:12:48,240
Because that's how you teach 14 -year
-olds to take themselves seriously.
237
00:12:49,550 --> 00:12:53,040
Despite everything I've done, everybody
wants to think I'm a racist.
238
00:12:53,730 --> 00:12:54,780
Okay, but...
239
00:12:54,781 --> 00:12:58,649
Mr. Bancroft, you yourself just said the
reason you didn't give Paul Gordon the
240
00:12:58,650 --> 00:13:00,510
lead in the play is because of his race.
241
00:13:02,170 --> 00:13:03,220
Here's the play.
242
00:13:07,130 --> 00:13:08,210
The Abe Lincoln story.
243
00:13:08,470 --> 00:13:09,520
Yes, that's right.
244
00:13:09,830 --> 00:13:13,950
The lead role in the play is Abe
Lincoln. He freed the slaves.
245
00:13:14,510 --> 00:13:18,809
I've explained this kindly and gently to
all concerned. It confuses the
246
00:13:18,810 --> 00:13:20,750
production to have a black Abe Lincoln.
247
00:13:20,751 --> 00:13:23,119
Nobody said a word about what the play
was.
248
00:13:23,120 --> 00:13:25,319
Of course they didn't, because they just
want to believe what they want to
249
00:13:25,320 --> 00:13:29,619
believe. Look, I just did what I thought
was best for the production, the same
250
00:13:29,620 --> 00:13:33,519
way I've done what's best for all my
productions. Look, frankly, whatever the
251
00:13:33,520 --> 00:13:35,020
board decides is fine with me.
252
00:13:35,021 --> 00:13:38,139
I talked to someone on the inside. It
turns out the board's already made its
253
00:13:38,140 --> 00:13:39,190
decision.
254
00:13:39,600 --> 00:13:40,650
Really?
255
00:13:41,160 --> 00:13:42,800
They voted 7 -2 to fire you.
256
00:13:43,900 --> 00:13:45,880
They're going to announce that tonight.
257
00:13:54,670 --> 00:13:57,500
Look, Mr. Bancroft, I'd like to help you
get your job back.
258
00:13:58,230 --> 00:13:59,280
How?
259
00:13:59,281 --> 00:14:02,149
They can't fire you for being a racist.
If you're not racist, they can't do
260
00:14:02,150 --> 00:14:04,570
that. So we sue them for wrongful
termination.
261
00:14:06,050 --> 00:14:07,100
I think we can win.
262
00:14:10,210 --> 00:14:11,260
Okay.
263
00:14:12,990 --> 00:14:14,040
Okay.
264
00:14:22,041 --> 00:14:24,109
Man.
265
00:14:24,110 --> 00:14:27,350
I love that new youth character. I don't
know.
266
00:14:27,850 --> 00:14:29,650
This car doesn't have any character.
267
00:14:29,770 --> 00:14:31,150
What are you talking about?
268
00:14:31,190 --> 00:14:32,930
This baby's loaded with character.
269
00:14:33,390 --> 00:14:35,130
That's your AM FM radio.
270
00:14:35,430 --> 00:14:36,480
The bucket seat.
271
00:14:37,190 --> 00:14:38,240
Bitchin' horn.
272
00:14:38,710 --> 00:14:39,870
You got a great friend.
273
00:14:40,730 --> 00:14:42,290
Yeah. I got.
274
00:14:45,590 --> 00:14:47,870
So, uh, what are we gonna name him?
275
00:14:48,130 --> 00:14:51,510
Oh, no, no. I can't name this car.
276
00:14:51,511 --> 00:14:52,689
Of course you can.
277
00:14:52,690 --> 00:14:53,739
You're like...
278
00:14:53,740 --> 00:14:54,790
A gym?
279
00:14:55,140 --> 00:14:58,080
I mean, what would it kill you to name
the car a gym?
280
00:14:58,760 --> 00:15:02,200
You think I'm crazy for being
emotionally attached to a car, don't
281
00:15:02,580 --> 00:15:07,799
No. I mean, when I was a kid, I couldn't
part with this sweatband I used to wear
282
00:15:07,800 --> 00:15:08,439
on my wrist.
283
00:15:08,440 --> 00:15:09,490
Really? Yeah.
284
00:15:09,740 --> 00:15:13,350
I started wearing it because I thought
it would make me look like Ileana
285
00:15:14,400 --> 00:15:17,340
It's just that, you know, I had that car
for 15 years.
286
00:15:19,080 --> 00:15:20,130
We'll be at home.
287
00:15:23,240 --> 00:15:24,290
You're right.
288
00:15:24,580 --> 00:15:25,630
I will.
289
00:15:30,260 --> 00:15:31,310
Miles.
290
00:15:32,040 --> 00:15:33,480
What's happening right now?
291
00:15:41,920 --> 00:15:42,970
Thanks, Eric.
292
00:15:44,360 --> 00:15:46,140
Oh, hey. I need a chooch, my brother.
293
00:15:46,141 --> 00:15:47,459
A chooch?
294
00:15:47,460 --> 00:15:49,260
Yeah, I got a favor. A chooch.
295
00:15:50,100 --> 00:15:51,480
Oh, by the way, this is Diane.
296
00:15:51,481 --> 00:15:55,129
Hi. Hi. Yeah, so, uh, listen, is there
any way you could help me out with a
297
00:15:55,130 --> 00:15:55,949
beautiful lady?
298
00:15:55,950 --> 00:15:58,549
Okay, Warren, isn't this just about
every single conversation you and I have
299
00:15:58,550 --> 00:16:01,909
ever had? Right. He's got the chair and
the whip and the frilly lion tamer shirt
300
00:16:01,910 --> 00:16:04,380
and the headline reads, Freddy Tames
Hollywood.
301
00:16:05,090 --> 00:16:06,140
Perfect.
302
00:16:06,230 --> 00:16:08,390
Hi. Allison Goldstein. Hi.
303
00:16:08,391 --> 00:16:10,009
Now, are you getting up the girl?
304
00:16:10,010 --> 00:16:13,860
Because for this to work, she can't just
be beautiful. She has got to be exotic.
305
00:16:14,210 --> 00:16:15,260
Warren.
306
00:16:15,261 --> 00:16:17,509
What's going on? Oh, this is my
publicist. Your publicist?
307
00:16:17,510 --> 00:16:20,050
Yep. We need a pretty girl to take a
picture with me.
308
00:16:20,051 --> 00:16:21,069
Got anybody?
309
00:16:21,070 --> 00:16:22,510
Well, Warren, no, not really.
310
00:16:22,830 --> 00:16:23,880
Right there.
311
00:16:24,070 --> 00:16:25,120
What's her name?
312
00:16:25,210 --> 00:16:26,260
Oh, Shirley?
313
00:16:26,330 --> 00:16:30,010
No, that's not a good idea. Oh, with a
little TLC, she'll be perfect.
314
00:16:31,610 --> 00:16:32,660
Shirley, really?
315
00:16:33,770 --> 00:16:34,820
Hi,
316
00:16:35,690 --> 00:16:38,700
Allison Goldstein. How would you like to
be in a photo shoot?
317
00:16:40,350 --> 00:16:41,400
No.
318
00:16:46,000 --> 00:16:47,620
I'll talk to her. It'll be fine.
319
00:16:49,440 --> 00:16:52,180
She's... Thanks for the chooch, man.
Stop saying that.
320
00:16:55,940 --> 00:16:57,120
Molly, this is crazy.
321
00:16:57,360 --> 00:16:58,880
I'm sorry. I'm just not ready.
322
00:17:03,480 --> 00:17:04,530
It's Hudson.
323
00:17:04,560 --> 00:17:05,700
Hi, Russell.
324
00:17:05,920 --> 00:17:08,220
Look, I need to buy my old car back.
325
00:17:13,760 --> 00:17:15,079
Where are the hubcaps?
326
00:17:15,630 --> 00:17:17,170
I sold them to Kirby Koontz.
327
00:17:18,290 --> 00:17:20,930
Oh, okay, okay. Well, uh, look.
328
00:17:22,089 --> 00:17:26,489
You keep the profit on the hubcaps for
your trouble, and, um, I'll give you
329
00:17:26,490 --> 00:17:27,540
back.
330
00:17:27,790 --> 00:17:30,110
I'm sorry, Miss Hudson. I'm gonna need
$500.
331
00:17:30,730 --> 00:17:33,790
What? I've put a great deal of work into
this automobile.
332
00:17:34,570 --> 00:17:36,290
Well, we had it for 36 hours.
333
00:17:36,630 --> 00:17:39,760
Hey, I had the son of a bitch jiffy
lubed. What's that, 30 bucks?
334
00:17:40,210 --> 00:17:42,230
Russell, Russell, come on.
335
00:17:43,810 --> 00:17:44,860
Fine.
336
00:17:45,040 --> 00:17:47,740
$2 .50 and I get an automatic C -plus in
science class.
337
00:17:47,980 --> 00:17:49,030
$2 .50 it is.
338
00:17:49,100 --> 00:17:50,240
What about the C -plus?
339
00:17:50,241 --> 00:17:51,699
That'll cost you five grand.
340
00:17:51,700 --> 00:17:53,040
Seriously? No.
341
00:17:53,611 --> 00:17:55,099
I'm
342
00:17:55,100 --> 00:18:02,059
sure
343
00:18:02,060 --> 00:18:03,620
Allison knows what she's doing.
344
00:18:03,640 --> 00:18:07,370
I mean, Freddie Prinze Jr. keeps doing
all those crappy teen horror movies.
345
00:18:07,620 --> 00:18:09,610
It's all right. She's got to do her
thing.
346
00:18:11,580 --> 00:18:13,500
Thanks for helping me out with all this.
347
00:18:20,300 --> 00:18:21,350
Wow.
348
00:18:29,720 --> 00:18:30,770
Yes.
349
00:18:34,880 --> 00:18:36,200
Shirley, you look amazing.
350
00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:38,050
Thank you, Warren.
351
00:18:38,460 --> 00:18:39,940
Okay, here we go.
352
00:18:40,240 --> 00:18:42,400
Young and in love. Young and in love.
353
00:18:44,680 --> 00:18:46,740
All right, come on. Start canoodling.
354
00:18:47,700 --> 00:18:50,100
Uh, Warren, put your arm around her.
355
00:18:50,420 --> 00:18:51,480
Okay, canoodle.
356
00:18:53,040 --> 00:18:54,980
Canoodle! I don't want to canoodle.
357
00:18:56,140 --> 00:18:57,360
Time in your life!
358
00:18:57,580 --> 00:18:58,630
Big laughs!
359
00:19:01,060 --> 00:19:02,110
Okay,
360
00:19:03,400 --> 00:19:04,480
this isn't happening.
361
00:19:04,520 --> 00:19:05,570
Hey,
362
00:19:05,900 --> 00:19:06,950
Shirley.
363
00:19:08,020 --> 00:19:09,360
Have you ever been in love?
364
00:19:09,361 --> 00:19:13,159
Yes, with a park ranger. His name was
Donald. His grandfather invented the
365
00:19:13,160 --> 00:19:14,210
ballpoint pen.
366
00:19:15,590 --> 00:19:22,349
Okay, well, um, Warren here is in love
and he really needs your help, so can
367
00:19:22,350 --> 00:19:27,830
think about Donald and give us just one
really good picture?
368
00:19:28,830 --> 00:19:29,880
I'll try.
369
00:19:30,370 --> 00:19:32,850
Okay. Here we go.
370
00:19:33,310 --> 00:19:34,410
Okay, arm around.
371
00:19:35,070 --> 00:19:36,530
Looking at each other.
372
00:19:36,970 --> 00:19:39,270
Sharing a private joke. On three.
373
00:19:39,790 --> 00:19:40,840
One.
374
00:19:41,570 --> 00:19:42,620
Two.
375
00:19:43,050 --> 00:19:44,100
Three.
376
00:19:49,871 --> 00:19:56,899
Mr. Bancroft, is Paul Gordon the most
talented actor in your drama class?
377
00:19:56,900 --> 00:19:59,059
Yes, he's wonderful. He's clearly the
best.
378
00:19:59,060 --> 00:20:01,479
And yet you didn't cast him as a lead in
your play. Why not?
379
00:20:01,480 --> 00:20:05,779
When you're casting a part, you don't
necessarily choose the best actor
380
00:20:05,780 --> 00:20:08,910
available. You choose the best actor for
that particular role.
381
00:20:09,100 --> 00:20:10,150
I see.
382
00:20:10,500 --> 00:20:15,139
So, let's say we're going to make, what,
the Babe Ruth story. Need to cast Babe
383
00:20:15,140 --> 00:20:17,919
Ruth. Lo and behold, Meryl Streep comes
in, gives the best audition of her
384
00:20:17,920 --> 00:20:19,199
career. Does she get the part?
385
00:20:19,200 --> 00:20:20,250
No. Why not?
386
00:20:20,251 --> 00:20:22,739
One of the most talented actors working
today.
387
00:20:22,740 --> 00:20:24,220
Because Babe Ruth was a man.
388
00:20:24,221 --> 00:20:28,739
The part is going to go to a man, even
if he's less talented than Meryl Streep.
389
00:20:28,740 --> 00:20:31,159
So what you're saying is casting isn't
based on talent alone?
390
00:20:31,160 --> 00:20:37,879
No. Clearly you have to factor in sex,
size, shape, looks, and yes, even
391
00:20:37,880 --> 00:20:38,930
race. Of course.
392
00:20:38,931 --> 00:20:41,719
After all, if you need someone to play
Martin Luther King, do you call Tom
393
00:20:41,720 --> 00:20:42,770
Hanks?
394
00:20:42,840 --> 00:20:45,610
No. George Washington, do you call
Denzel Washington?
395
00:20:46,040 --> 00:20:48,810
No. And if you need Abe Lincoln, do you
cast Paul Gordon?
396
00:20:49,880 --> 00:20:50,930
No, you don't.
397
00:20:51,260 --> 00:20:52,580
Because Lincoln was white.
398
00:20:52,590 --> 00:20:56,430
Yes. And plus, the whole play is about
racial issues.
399
00:20:56,710 --> 00:21:00,650
If you've got a black Lincoln, it all
gets very confusing.
400
00:21:01,030 --> 00:21:02,080
I see.
401
00:21:02,190 --> 00:21:04,410
I'm not a racist, Mr. Stevens.
402
00:21:04,411 --> 00:21:08,449
I have nothing against African Americans
or any other race or religion.
403
00:21:08,450 --> 00:21:11,290
I was just trying to do what was best
for the production.
404
00:21:11,770 --> 00:21:12,820
Of course.
405
00:21:12,950 --> 00:21:15,000
Thank you, Mr. Bancroft. Nothing
further.
406
00:21:15,810 --> 00:21:19,570
Mr. Carr, you were just trying to do
what was best for the production.
407
00:21:20,450 --> 00:21:21,500
That's right.
408
00:21:21,501 --> 00:21:24,979
At what point in your career as a
teacher did you decide that the
409
00:21:24,980 --> 00:21:26,720
more important than the students?
410
00:21:27,440 --> 00:21:28,490
I'm sorry.
411
00:21:28,491 --> 00:21:31,319
What is that supposed to mean? We'll get
to that in a minute, Mr. Bancroft. But
412
00:21:31,320 --> 00:21:34,219
first let me ask you a question. Who did
you cast as Abraham Lincoln?
413
00:21:34,220 --> 00:21:35,360
His name is Riley Evans.
414
00:21:35,660 --> 00:21:37,500
Uh -huh. And how tall is Riley Evans?
415
00:21:38,040 --> 00:21:39,140
How tall is Riley?
416
00:21:39,151 --> 00:21:41,159
I don't know.
417
00:21:41,160 --> 00:21:44,520
Riley Evans is 5 '3". Little guy.
418
00:21:44,900 --> 00:21:49,400
Abraham Lincoln, on the other hand, was
the lanky 6 '4", 7 '2", with the hat.
419
00:21:50,510 --> 00:21:51,650
How old is Riley Evans?
420
00:21:52,370 --> 00:21:53,420
Fourteen.
421
00:21:53,890 --> 00:21:54,940
Fourteen.
422
00:21:55,030 --> 00:21:57,560
Abraham Lincoln became president at the
age of 52.
423
00:21:57,561 --> 00:22:02,509
Now tell me, Mr. Bancroft, if they were
making a Hollywood movie about Abraham
424
00:22:02,510 --> 00:22:05,880
Lincoln, do you think they'd give the
part to a 5 '3", 14 -year -old?
425
00:22:06,490 --> 00:22:07,970
No. Yet you did.
426
00:22:08,530 --> 00:22:09,580
Why is that?
427
00:22:10,670 --> 00:22:11,990
I think that's obvious.
428
00:22:12,830 --> 00:22:13,880
Humor me.
429
00:22:16,450 --> 00:22:18,370
I'm a junior high school drama teacher.
430
00:22:19,030 --> 00:22:20,170
Yes, thank you.
431
00:22:20,171 --> 00:22:23,579
You're not a Hollywood director, Mr.
Bancroft. You're a teacher.
432
00:22:23,580 --> 00:22:27,619
A teacher who told his African -American
student, yes, you're the most talented.
433
00:22:27,620 --> 00:22:29,180
Yes, you're the hardest worker.
434
00:22:29,660 --> 00:22:33,210
But no, you're not going to get this
opportunity because you're black.
435
00:22:34,020 --> 00:22:36,250
It's quite a thing to do to a 14 -year
-old kid.
436
00:22:36,251 --> 00:22:40,519
But that's okay, right? As long as it's
what's best for the production.
437
00:22:40,520 --> 00:22:42,559
Objection, Your Honor. Badgering the
witness.
438
00:22:42,560 --> 00:22:43,640
Sustained. Consulate.
439
00:22:43,900 --> 00:22:45,400
My apologies. Nothing further.
440
00:22:54,649 --> 00:22:55,930
Hey. Did you guys see this?
441
00:22:55,931 --> 00:22:57,969
Warren Cheswick from the newspaper.
442
00:22:57,970 --> 00:22:59,470
What the hell? Who's the fuck?
443
00:22:59,471 --> 00:23:03,729
Visiting lingerie mile Ava Hartona was
squired about town this week by local
444
00:23:03,730 --> 00:23:04,780
Warren Cheswick.
445
00:23:05,370 --> 00:23:07,540
I totally recognize her from the
catalogs.
446
00:23:07,890 --> 00:23:10,060
I think she used to be married to John
Cryer.
447
00:23:11,270 --> 00:23:13,250
Cheswick. Hey, Jess. Boys.
448
00:23:20,310 --> 00:23:23,170
Did you see that? Did you see that? I
think it's working.
449
00:23:23,171 --> 00:23:24,619
It's really worth it.
450
00:23:24,620 --> 00:23:26,730
It's like an aura of mystique about me
now.
451
00:23:26,731 --> 00:23:29,319
For the first time in my life, I'm
giving off pheromones.
452
00:23:29,320 --> 00:23:31,550
Mystique, billowing clouds of
pheromones.
453
00:23:31,551 --> 00:23:33,299
Contain yourself.
454
00:23:33,300 --> 00:23:35,000
Sorry. I can't.
455
00:23:35,001 --> 00:23:36,619
It's awesome.
456
00:23:36,620 --> 00:23:41,720
Your cousin is awesome. You're... You
rock, Diane. You rock.
457
00:23:42,520 --> 00:23:43,570
Right here.
458
00:23:43,700 --> 00:23:44,840
I don't high -five.
459
00:23:44,841 --> 00:23:47,279
There's nothing cheesier than high
-five.
460
00:23:47,280 --> 00:23:48,330
All right.
461
00:23:48,360 --> 00:23:50,220
All right. Almost there.
462
00:23:51,780 --> 00:23:52,830
Jim? Yeah.
463
00:23:52,831 --> 00:23:54,299
I thank you.
464
00:23:54,300 --> 00:23:55,350
My car.
465
00:23:55,700 --> 00:23:56,750
Your car?
466
00:23:57,060 --> 00:23:58,700
This, Molly Hudson, is not a car.
467
00:23:58,701 --> 00:24:02,639
Now, if this were a car, we would have
traveled the last ten blocks inside it
468
00:24:02,640 --> 00:24:03,690
instead of behind it.
469
00:24:04,180 --> 00:24:05,230
This?
470
00:24:05,580 --> 00:24:06,630
Metal albatross.
471
00:24:07,780 --> 00:24:08,830
I know.
472
00:24:09,100 --> 00:24:10,150
I'm sorry.
473
00:24:10,151 --> 00:24:11,379
Don't be.
474
00:24:11,380 --> 00:24:13,850
It's the first real exercise I've had
since 1993.
475
00:24:21,320 --> 00:24:23,060
Welcome home, trusty seed.
476
00:24:24,720 --> 00:24:27,610
Seriously, Molly, what is it with you
and this old wreck?
477
00:24:30,300 --> 00:24:32,040
Oh, that answers my question.
478
00:24:32,700 --> 00:24:38,440
Anyway, thanks for helping me. Can I
take you to dinner?
479
00:24:40,080 --> 00:24:41,130
What?
480
00:24:43,620 --> 00:24:44,820
That's what you just did.
481
00:24:44,940 --> 00:24:48,820
Yes, but I'm adorable and you are a big
freak.
482
00:24:49,580 --> 00:24:50,630
True.
483
00:24:55,780 --> 00:24:56,830
Hey, Kyle.
484
00:24:56,831 --> 00:25:01,599
Ed, this is Victor Sadaka. He's a member
of the school board. Nice to meet you.
485
00:25:01,600 --> 00:25:02,650
What can I do for you?
486
00:25:02,651 --> 00:25:05,719
There's something you ought to know
about the Bancroft case.
487
00:25:05,720 --> 00:25:06,770
Oh, have a seat.
488
00:25:06,771 --> 00:25:13,299
What do I need to know about the
Bancroft case? I serve on the board with
489
00:25:13,300 --> 00:25:14,350
named Matthew Crane.
490
00:25:14,351 --> 00:25:18,199
Crane, he's the one who's leading the
crusade against Mr. Bancroft? Yes.
491
00:25:18,200 --> 00:25:22,259
About five years ago, when Bancroft
first applied for a teaching job, Crane
492
00:25:22,260 --> 00:25:23,560
dead set against him.
493
00:25:23,561 --> 00:25:26,789
He did everything he could to stop the
middle school from hiring him. And why's
494
00:25:26,790 --> 00:25:31,049
that? I'll never forget his words. He
said, Arnold Bancroft's type has got no
495
00:25:31,050 --> 00:25:32,430
business teaching our kids.
496
00:25:33,990 --> 00:25:35,040
His type?
497
00:25:35,890 --> 00:25:37,110
Arnold Bancroft is gay.
498
00:25:42,330 --> 00:25:43,380
Hey, Diane.
499
00:25:43,410 --> 00:25:44,790
I want you to know something.
500
00:25:45,590 --> 00:25:48,120
When all this is over, I'm going to take
care of you.
501
00:25:48,550 --> 00:25:49,600
Take care of me?
502
00:25:50,310 --> 00:25:51,360
Yep.
503
00:25:53,640 --> 00:25:57,459
When I ascend into the realm of cool,
I'm not going to forget the good woman
504
00:25:57,460 --> 00:25:58,510
gave me the leg up.
505
00:25:58,840 --> 00:26:00,160
You'll be justly rewarded.
506
00:26:00,660 --> 00:26:01,710
Oh, yeah?
507
00:26:02,120 --> 00:26:03,170
How?
508
00:26:03,171 --> 00:26:04,499
I'll tell you what.
509
00:26:04,500 --> 00:26:08,110
Flip through the sharper image catalog,
you pick out anything you want.
510
00:26:08,420 --> 00:26:09,470
Under 50 bucks.
511
00:26:10,260 --> 00:26:11,400
Gee, thanks.
512
00:26:11,401 --> 00:26:15,259
Hey, come on, they got some sweet -ass
laser pointers in there.
513
00:26:15,260 --> 00:26:19,760
Well, if it isn't my favorite jet
-setting playboy. Hey, Allison.
514
00:26:20,080 --> 00:26:22,100
So, you guys ready for phase two?
515
00:26:22,540 --> 00:26:23,620
Totally. What's next?
516
00:26:23,880 --> 00:26:25,680
Warren Cheswick is throwing a party.
517
00:26:26,480 --> 00:26:27,560
Awesome! Really?
518
00:26:28,960 --> 00:26:32,520
Hey, hey, you know what I've always
wanted to do? We should have one of
519
00:26:32,521 --> 00:26:35,959
like, host -your -own -murder -mystery
parties where you, like, hide little
520
00:26:35,960 --> 00:26:37,300
clues around the rec room.
521
00:26:37,800 --> 00:26:38,850
You're hopeless.
522
00:26:38,960 --> 00:26:40,600
What? No, that's sophisticated.
523
00:26:40,940 --> 00:26:44,370
Okay, Warren, I need the names of the
five coolest kids in your class.
524
00:26:44,520 --> 00:26:51,020
Okay, uh, Boss Cat, uh, Jessica, um,
definitely Jakey, yeah.
525
00:26:51,580 --> 00:26:53,200
Tommy. Ashley.
526
00:26:53,620 --> 00:26:54,820
Yeah, I guess Ashley.
527
00:26:55,160 --> 00:26:59,759
Okay. Tomorrow morning, when nobody's
looking, I want you to slip these cards
528
00:26:59,760 --> 00:27:00,810
into their lockers.
529
00:27:01,700 --> 00:27:03,120
That's my phone number.
530
00:27:04,140 --> 00:27:05,800
4 p .m. I don't get it.
531
00:27:06,060 --> 00:27:07,800
Was it some kind of invitation?
532
00:27:08,260 --> 00:27:09,310
Sort of.
533
00:27:09,500 --> 00:27:10,550
You'll see.
534
00:27:11,840 --> 00:27:12,890
Hello.
535
00:27:13,420 --> 00:27:14,470
Hi, sweetie.
536
00:27:16,540 --> 00:27:17,590
David Leisure.
537
00:27:22,480 --> 00:27:23,530
Joe Isuzu.
538
00:27:28,800 --> 00:27:29,850
Hey, uh,
539
00:27:31,580 --> 00:27:33,140
thought we were going to dinner.
540
00:27:35,580 --> 00:27:36,630
Walk with me.
541
00:27:39,380 --> 00:27:40,430
So what's up?
542
00:27:41,000 --> 00:27:42,050
Terry Lang.
543
00:27:42,980 --> 00:27:44,030
Huh?
544
00:27:46,200 --> 00:27:49,460
Summer after high school, I was
waitressing at the pie shop.
545
00:27:49,820 --> 00:27:51,220
Terry Lang was the busboy.
546
00:27:52,400 --> 00:27:54,220
Black hair, brown eyes.
547
00:27:55,160 --> 00:27:57,400
Kind of nerdy, but cute.
548
00:27:59,480 --> 00:28:01,400
One day he asked me out to the movies.
549
00:28:02,780 --> 00:28:03,830
My first date.
550
00:28:05,180 --> 00:28:09,500
He picked me up around 7 and he took me
to dinner at Bennigan's.
551
00:28:09,880 --> 00:28:13,520
Nice. Yeah. Then we went and saw
Nightmare on Elm Street 2.
552
00:28:14,100 --> 00:28:15,150
Freddy's Revenge.
553
00:28:16,340 --> 00:28:17,520
Why do you know that?
554
00:28:17,920 --> 00:28:20,030
I kind of have a head for sequel
subtitles.
555
00:28:20,480 --> 00:28:24,780
He'll pork his two the next day, break
into electric boogaloo.
556
00:28:25,040 --> 00:28:27,700
Wow. So, you saw the movie.
557
00:28:27,900 --> 00:28:31,619
So we saw the movie, and then when it
was done, we got in his car and we drove
558
00:28:31,620 --> 00:28:34,940
right here to the fabled Stuckyville
Pond.
559
00:28:36,080 --> 00:28:41,160
We parked, we talked for a while, and
then he kissed me.
560
00:28:42,320 --> 00:28:43,400
Your first kiss.
561
00:28:44,280 --> 00:28:45,330
Yeah.
562
00:28:45,680 --> 00:28:46,730
And my second.
563
00:28:46,731 --> 00:28:48,739
My third.
564
00:28:48,740 --> 00:28:49,790
My fourth.
565
00:28:50,459 --> 00:28:53,280
We made out in the backseat for like six
hours.
566
00:28:55,660 --> 00:28:56,740
It was great.
567
00:28:57,820 --> 00:29:01,320
Terry and I dated all summer, and then
he went off to Columbia.
568
00:29:02,400 --> 00:29:03,460
Like Bogota?
569
00:29:03,960 --> 00:29:06,280
No, Columbia University.
570
00:29:07,460 --> 00:29:10,350
So he couldn't take his car to New York,
so he left it for me.
571
00:29:11,100 --> 00:29:12,780
I've been driving here ever since.
572
00:29:14,020 --> 00:29:16,380
Did you ever see him again?
573
00:29:18,220 --> 00:29:19,270
Mm -mm.
574
00:29:29,409 --> 00:29:33,629
You know, it'd be great right now if I
pulled off a rubber mask and then I was
575
00:29:33,630 --> 00:29:34,680
Terry Lang.
576
00:29:36,150 --> 00:29:41,409
You know, to this day, my summer with
Terry stands as the best relationship of
577
00:29:41,410 --> 00:29:42,830
my life. How sad is that?
578
00:29:43,270 --> 00:29:47,330
And what's even sadder is I can't let go
of that stupid car.
579
00:29:47,530 --> 00:29:50,050
I can't let go of those memories.
580
00:29:52,150 --> 00:29:54,440
Maybe you just need to make some new
memories.
581
00:30:01,230 --> 00:30:02,280
You think so?
582
00:30:04,950 --> 00:30:06,000
I really do.
583
00:30:14,010 --> 00:30:15,060
State your name.
584
00:30:15,110 --> 00:30:16,160
Matthew Crane.
585
00:30:16,161 --> 00:30:19,209
Mr. Crane, as a member of the school
board, did you vote to terminate Arnold
586
00:30:19,210 --> 00:30:20,369
Bancroft's employment?
587
00:30:20,370 --> 00:30:21,269
Yes, I did.
588
00:30:21,270 --> 00:30:22,320
Why?
589
00:30:22,510 --> 00:30:24,010
Because what he did was racist.
590
00:30:24,750 --> 00:30:25,800
So?
591
00:30:25,930 --> 00:30:26,980
What do you mean, so?
592
00:30:28,090 --> 00:30:30,380
So? I mean, what's so bad about being
racist?
593
00:30:30,939 --> 00:30:32,020
What is this, a joke?
594
00:30:32,021 --> 00:30:35,999
Objection? Your Honor, Mr. Crane led the
charge against Arnold Bancroft. I'm
595
00:30:36,000 --> 00:30:37,050
simply asking why.
596
00:30:37,740 --> 00:30:38,790
I'll allow it.
597
00:30:39,280 --> 00:30:40,330
Thank you.
598
00:30:40,360 --> 00:30:44,200
So, Mr. Crane, tell us what's so awful
about being racist.
599
00:30:44,800 --> 00:30:45,850
This is America.
600
00:30:46,220 --> 00:30:49,890
You can't deny someone an opportunity
because of the color of their skin.
601
00:30:49,891 --> 00:30:51,019
Why not?
602
00:30:51,020 --> 00:30:52,640
Because we're all created equal.
603
00:30:52,641 --> 00:30:54,039
Blacks and whites, you mean?
604
00:30:54,040 --> 00:30:56,330
Blacks and whites, men and women,
everybody.
605
00:30:56,500 --> 00:30:58,730
Oh, there, sir, I believe you just
misspoke.
606
00:30:59,440 --> 00:31:00,490
No, I didn't.
607
00:31:00,491 --> 00:31:03,029
Surely you did not mean to say
everybody's created equal.
608
00:31:03,030 --> 00:31:04,080
Of course I do.
609
00:31:04,250 --> 00:31:05,510
Everybody. Everybody.
610
00:31:06,810 --> 00:31:08,670
Even gay people like Arnold Bancroft.
611
00:31:08,671 --> 00:31:15,309
Arnold Bancroft's type has got no
business teaching our kids. Weren't
612
00:31:15,310 --> 00:31:16,360
words, Mr. Crane?
613
00:31:17,870 --> 00:31:19,550
What the hell are you trying to do?
614
00:31:19,551 --> 00:31:22,989
You've made a lot of unfortunate little
homophobic remarks over the years.
615
00:31:22,990 --> 00:31:25,369
Tossed off stupid little comments you
probably think people don't remember.
616
00:31:25,370 --> 00:31:28,740
Well, people do remember, Mr. Crane.
Some of them are even willing to
617
00:31:28,741 --> 00:31:31,059
Now, you led the charge against Arnold
Bancroft.
618
00:31:31,060 --> 00:31:33,739
You seized upon this incident, this
misunderstanding as a way of getting him
619
00:31:33,740 --> 00:31:36,839
fired. You used Paul Gordon. You used
his father when you talked him into
620
00:31:36,840 --> 00:31:39,579
a complaint. You did all of this because
Arnold Bancroft is gay.
621
00:31:39,580 --> 00:31:40,960
Isn't that right, Mr. Crane?
622
00:31:44,020 --> 00:31:45,070
Mr. Crane?
623
00:31:45,400 --> 00:31:46,480
It's okay, Your Honor.
624
00:31:47,100 --> 00:31:48,840
That look is worth a thousand words.
625
00:31:50,740 --> 00:31:51,790
Nothing further.
626
00:31:53,220 --> 00:31:54,300
Your witness, Mr. Carr.
627
00:31:55,960 --> 00:31:59,330
Mr. Crane, as a member of the school
board, how many votes do you get?
628
00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:04,060
One. And when the board voted to fire
Mr. Bancroft, what was the vote count?
629
00:32:05,400 --> 00:32:06,450
Seven to two.
630
00:32:08,400 --> 00:32:09,450
Nothing further.
631
00:32:21,500 --> 00:32:22,820
Four o 'clock on the button.
632
00:32:23,360 --> 00:32:24,940
Wait, do I... Allow me.
633
00:32:27,780 --> 00:32:28,830
Hello?
634
00:32:28,920 --> 00:32:29,970
Yeah, who's this?
635
00:32:30,320 --> 00:32:31,370
No, who's this?
636
00:32:31,860 --> 00:32:32,910
Fozcat?
637
00:32:33,140 --> 00:32:36,150
Fozcat? I don't know any Fozcat. How did
you get this number?
638
00:32:36,900 --> 00:32:38,420
It was in a card in my locker.
639
00:32:38,421 --> 00:32:40,939
Tear it up. Throw it away. There's been
a mistake.
640
00:32:40,940 --> 00:32:44,680
What? There's no Fozcat on Mr.
Cheswick's guest list.
641
00:32:45,600 --> 00:32:46,650
Mr. Cheswick?
642
00:32:47,160 --> 00:32:48,210
Warren Cheswick?
643
00:32:48,360 --> 00:32:50,340
I'm sorry. It's a private party.
644
00:32:50,341 --> 00:32:52,519
Cheswick's having a party?
645
00:32:52,520 --> 00:32:53,780
A private party.
646
00:32:54,160 --> 00:32:55,210
VIPs only.
647
00:32:55,500 --> 00:32:56,900
Well, uh...
648
00:32:56,901 --> 00:32:58,829
I'm captain of the football team.
649
00:32:58,830 --> 00:32:59,880
Uh -huh.
650
00:33:00,270 --> 00:33:01,990
No, really, I am Fozcat.
651
00:33:03,170 --> 00:33:04,220
All right.
652
00:33:04,290 --> 00:33:07,690
But if you're jerking my chain, I will
hunt you down and kill you.
653
00:33:08,430 --> 00:33:10,630
It's tonight, 8 o 'clock at Stucky Bowl.
654
00:33:11,270 --> 00:33:12,650
Proper attire is mandatory.
655
00:33:12,970 --> 00:33:17,490
Okay, what's proper... Is he coming?
656
00:33:17,930 --> 00:33:18,980
Oh, yeah.
657
00:33:19,550 --> 00:33:23,490
And once he spreads the word... It'll be
the society event of the season.
658
00:33:24,690 --> 00:33:26,990
Warren. Do you know what exclusive
means?
659
00:33:27,690 --> 00:33:28,740
I think so.
660
00:33:29,330 --> 00:33:30,380
No, you don't.
661
00:33:30,630 --> 00:33:32,370
But tonight, you're going to learn.
662
00:33:46,410 --> 00:33:48,640
Mr. Gordon, can I speak with you for a
moment?
663
00:33:48,641 --> 00:33:52,129
Not if it's about Arnold Bancroft. But
if you need some model train supplies,
664
00:33:52,130 --> 00:33:53,180
I'm all yours.
665
00:33:53,330 --> 00:33:55,190
I don't need any model train supplies.
666
00:33:55,450 --> 00:33:56,500
You sure?
667
00:33:56,510 --> 00:33:58,190
We're giving 20 % off on cabooses.
668
00:33:58,490 --> 00:33:59,540
Mr. Gordon, please.
669
00:34:05,750 --> 00:34:07,070
Look, I need your help here.
670
00:34:07,071 --> 00:34:10,448
Arnold Bancroft is not a racist. He's a
good man. He's a good teacher. A good
671
00:34:10,449 --> 00:34:13,399
teacher who sent my son home so upset he
could hardly speak.
672
00:34:13,400 --> 00:34:15,649
I understand if you don't agree with
what he did.
673
00:34:15,650 --> 00:34:18,349
But it's not always easy to know how to
handle situations like this. What really
674
00:34:18,350 --> 00:34:19,269
matters is Mr.
675
00:34:19,270 --> 00:34:21,408
Bancroft's intentions were pure. So you
say.
676
00:34:21,409 --> 00:34:24,359
Now I got a lifetime of experience that
tells me otherwise.
677
00:34:24,360 --> 00:34:28,779
Mr. Gordon, you have my word. There's
only one bigot involved in this case,
678
00:34:28,780 --> 00:34:29,830
it's Matthew Crane.
679
00:34:31,480 --> 00:34:34,970
Mr. Bancroft needs your help. Will you
get on the stand and support him,
680
00:34:38,031 --> 00:34:40,039
I'm sorry.
681
00:34:40,040 --> 00:34:41,090
You can't come in.
682
00:34:41,199 --> 00:34:42,620
This is a private party.
683
00:34:44,291 --> 00:34:46,359
Name, please?
684
00:34:46,360 --> 00:34:47,410
Nikki Poulter.
685
00:34:48,060 --> 00:34:49,110
As in the crystal?
686
00:34:49,659 --> 00:34:50,709
Yeah.
687
00:34:52,280 --> 00:34:53,330
Sorry.
688
00:34:55,040 --> 00:34:56,120
You're not on the list.
689
00:34:56,121 --> 00:34:57,939
I'm not?
690
00:34:57,940 --> 00:34:58,639
Look at his face.
691
00:34:58,640 --> 00:34:59,690
Look at his face.
692
00:34:59,900 --> 00:35:00,950
Sorry, Jakey.
693
00:35:01,280 --> 00:35:02,330
Get the road.
694
00:35:03,420 --> 00:35:04,980
They really must be getting old.
695
00:35:04,981 --> 00:35:07,539
When I was a kid, we actually had guests
at our parties.
696
00:35:07,540 --> 00:35:09,160
Well, riddle me this, boy wonder.
697
00:35:09,360 --> 00:35:10,840
When is a party not a party?
698
00:35:11,180 --> 00:35:13,420
When? When it's a publicity stunt.
699
00:35:15,180 --> 00:35:17,300
Yeah. Thanks for letting us fire the
place.
700
00:35:17,301 --> 00:35:18,699
You're welcome, Diane.
701
00:35:18,700 --> 00:35:20,990
Seriously, Ed. I owe you big time.
You're my dog.
702
00:35:25,040 --> 00:35:26,440
Oh, Warren. Look, look, look.
703
00:35:30,080 --> 00:35:31,600
It's Bobcat and Jessica.
704
00:35:32,700 --> 00:35:34,580
Name, please. Bobcat, plus one.
705
00:35:35,740 --> 00:35:39,240
Bobcat. First name, last name, what?
706
00:35:39,960 --> 00:35:42,260
Well, it's my name. No, I'm sorry.
707
00:35:43,300 --> 00:35:44,350
You're not on here.
708
00:35:44,580 --> 00:35:45,630
What?
709
00:35:47,660 --> 00:35:48,840
I'm Jessica Martel.
710
00:35:49,380 --> 00:35:50,640
I'm friends with Warren.
711
00:35:52,040 --> 00:35:53,090
Nope.
712
00:35:54,700 --> 00:35:55,750
Sorry.
713
00:35:56,560 --> 00:35:58,000
Oh, my God.
714
00:35:59,520 --> 00:36:02,080
Hey, I've got one of these cards.
715
00:36:02,580 --> 00:36:05,240
I have no idea what that is.
716
00:36:06,180 --> 00:36:07,230
Sorry.
717
00:36:08,080 --> 00:36:09,130
Next.
718
00:36:15,760 --> 00:36:16,810
Denied.
719
00:36:17,700 --> 00:36:19,740
Denied. Oscar, denied.
720
00:36:20,760 --> 00:36:22,420
We are in such pain.
721
00:36:25,160 --> 00:36:26,600
God, time to get a grip.
722
00:36:27,540 --> 00:36:28,590
Sorry.
723
00:36:33,140 --> 00:36:34,340
Good morning, Mr. Gordon.
724
00:36:35,060 --> 00:36:36,110
Good morning.
725
00:36:36,560 --> 00:36:40,350
Mr. Gordon, you brought the original
charge of racism against Mr. Bancroft?
726
00:36:41,080 --> 00:36:42,130
Yes, I did.
727
00:36:42,380 --> 00:36:45,030
Do you believe Mr. Bancroft deserves to
lose his job?
728
00:36:46,300 --> 00:36:47,600
No, I do not.
729
00:36:49,020 --> 00:36:50,070
Why not?
730
00:36:50,420 --> 00:36:52,590
Because he was trying to do the right
thing.
731
00:36:53,520 --> 00:36:56,410
Should he have given that role to my
son? I'd still say yes.
732
00:36:57,400 --> 00:36:59,510
But did he deny him the role out of
racism?
733
00:37:00,800 --> 00:37:01,850
I don't think so.
734
00:37:03,960 --> 00:37:07,100
This world today is a lot more
complicated than it used to be.
735
00:37:07,780 --> 00:37:11,040
All we can ask of anyone is that they
try and do their best.
736
00:37:12,300 --> 00:37:16,090
I've seen too many good people fall
victim to stupid, senseless prejudice.
737
00:37:17,240 --> 00:37:19,410
Let's not add Arnold Bancroft to that
list.
738
00:37:24,560 --> 00:37:25,610
Thank you, Mr. Gordon.
739
00:37:30,240 --> 00:37:32,120
Mr. Carr, your witness.
740
00:37:32,680 --> 00:37:34,180
The defense rests, Your Honor.
741
00:37:38,620 --> 00:37:39,670
Madam Forewoman.
742
00:37:39,800 --> 00:37:40,850
Yes, Your Honor.
743
00:37:41,340 --> 00:37:43,060
Has the jury reached a decision?
744
00:37:43,320 --> 00:37:44,370
We have.
745
00:37:48,360 --> 00:37:49,410
How say you?
746
00:37:50,100 --> 00:37:53,220
We find in favor of the plaintiff,
Arnold Bancroft.
747
00:37:55,210 --> 00:37:56,810
I commend you on a wise decision.
748
00:37:57,370 --> 00:37:59,790
Mr. Bancroft, you got your job back.
749
00:38:00,150 --> 00:38:03,050
Mr. Crane, good luck in keeping yours.
750
00:38:04,801 --> 00:38:09,269
Congratulations. Thank you, Ed. You're
welcome.
751
00:38:09,270 --> 00:38:11,590
Arnie, good to have you back.
752
00:38:14,530 --> 00:38:15,580
Good filter fish.
753
00:38:17,130 --> 00:38:18,180
Like it.
754
00:38:22,280 --> 00:38:25,710
You like surprises, don't you, Jimmy?
Yes, Molly, I like surprises.
755
00:38:26,280 --> 00:38:30,540
Good. Which do you prefer, little
surprises or big surprises?
756
00:38:31,040 --> 00:38:32,500
Big surprises. Good.
757
00:38:32,900 --> 00:38:38,499
Big surprises that require heavy
machinery and government permits, or
758
00:38:38,500 --> 00:38:39,550
don't?
759
00:38:39,980 --> 00:38:41,030
What?
760
00:38:41,280 --> 00:38:42,330
Open.
761
00:38:53,190 --> 00:38:54,240
Molly, what is it?
762
00:38:55,350 --> 00:38:58,270
I think it's time that old Sadie had a
proper burial.
763
00:39:02,410 --> 00:39:03,710
This is so cool.
764
00:39:04,990 --> 00:39:06,040
Let's go.
765
00:39:12,110 --> 00:39:14,110
Hey, what's going on?
766
00:39:14,490 --> 00:39:15,540
I don't know.
767
00:39:16,230 --> 00:39:19,010
Probably some radio DJ pulling a lame
stunt.
768
00:39:19,390 --> 00:39:20,440
You're right.
769
00:39:22,270 --> 00:39:23,320
Heads up, Cheswick.
770
00:39:23,770 --> 00:39:24,820
What?
771
00:39:25,030 --> 00:39:26,080
Oh, boy.
772
00:39:26,081 --> 00:39:26,689
Good luck.
773
00:39:26,690 --> 00:39:27,830
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
774
00:39:27,831 --> 00:39:29,509
Hey, Warren.
775
00:39:29,510 --> 00:39:30,560
Oh, hey.
776
00:39:31,050 --> 00:39:32,490
How was the party that night?
777
00:39:32,930 --> 00:39:34,230
Party? Oh, that party.
778
00:39:34,470 --> 00:39:38,630
It was all right. It was a little too
crowded for my taste, but it's cool.
779
00:39:38,930 --> 00:39:39,980
Yeah.
780
00:39:40,730 --> 00:39:43,610
I wanted to come, but I couldn't get in.
781
00:39:43,850 --> 00:39:45,210
Really? Oh, man.
782
00:39:45,710 --> 00:39:47,940
You're kidding me. That's totally messed
up.
783
00:39:48,610 --> 00:39:49,660
Sorry about that.
784
00:39:50,330 --> 00:39:52,740
So... A few of us are hanging out at
Jakey's tonight.
785
00:39:53,630 --> 00:39:55,570
Do you, like, want to come?
786
00:39:57,910 --> 00:39:58,960
Do I want to come?
787
00:39:59,190 --> 00:40:00,240
Yeah.
788
00:40:01,310 --> 00:40:04,770
Yeah, yeah, I guess, well, I guess,
yeah, I'll come.
789
00:40:04,771 --> 00:40:06,429
Jakey's my boy.
790
00:40:06,430 --> 00:40:07,480
All right.
791
00:40:07,481 --> 00:40:08,609
We'll see you there.
792
00:40:08,610 --> 00:40:09,660
All right, whatever.
793
00:40:10,490 --> 00:40:11,540
Catch you later.
794
00:40:21,550 --> 00:40:25,630
To believe it's time to get down.
795
00:40:46,951 --> 00:40:52,539
Well, I think we all learned a valuable
lesson here today.
796
00:40:52,540 --> 00:40:53,590
What was that?
797
00:40:53,591 --> 00:40:54,649
No idea.
798
00:40:54,650 --> 00:40:59,200
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