Original subtitles

The following program contains strong language and adult humor.

He's going to flambé himself.

No, no, no! Don't do that!

Your dad's not dead.

Your dad's in tenor race.

Trauma.

Thought my dad was dead.

Turns out the prick just left us, so... Trauma.

I know I've got to take it easy.

Anyway, the gas meter's by the door, mate.

There he is.

Morning, Lee.

There's those letters.

Just make sure they get in the first post today.

What's that?

Number 32, we're throwing it out.

Why do you need that?

Maureen, the yoghurt pots, they're going to Brampton, don't they, my darling?

Oh, God. Hey, we've been through this.

Comes in handy.

Right, well, we'll just be off to work.

It's quite early for that, don't you think? Bloody Mary cursed.

It's a breakfast drink.

Can you get some fags, Glenn? Put it on the table.

Thank you.

Nice one, Ma.

We're getting there, aren't we?

Aye?

Just keep collecting stuff. He's like a massive womble.

Just give him time, Kirsten. As soon as we find Dad, he'll be up and at it. As

soon as we... Yeah.

You'll find him. You know, you sent all those letters off to Tenerife now.

What was it?

36. English and Spanish. Everybody implied Los Americas.

Leave what I posted them about now, so... And you've got the email address?

Info at Big Don Chicken Shack?

Yeah. No response yet, but keep trying. Positive.

Positive. Exactly. Stay positive. And seize your destiny, remember?

Because you've just got to... Oh, shit, I've dropped my earring, but... Oh, I

can see it. It's just by your... Your own toy, cursed.

I know.

Well, can you get off it? Because I can't... Oh.

I've caught you.

Ping -ping.

Haven't I?

Dirty little...

Do you know what naughty people get?

I'm not quite sure.

They get punished.

Sorry.

Oh, don't be sorry, Curse. I like it. We're all done here.

Oh, yeah, because I've got a massive... Oh! Oh!

Hi.

Just, um...

Just the bill, please.

We can't keep doing it like this.

No. I'm going to have to do some more research because there's protocols.

You know, they're safe words, Glenn. There's boundaries.

Right. Sounds very strict.

Well, yes, it is very strict.

It's very, very strict.

Because somebody around here needs a little bit of fucking discipline.

Oh, there she is, back again.

Yeah.

Good. Lovely.

Big tip for you.

Oi.

You dropped something.

And? What are you going to do about it?

Hello? Hello?

Hi there. Welcome to World of Carpet, the Loughton Retail Village. My name's

Glenn, store manager. How can I be helping you today? I've been stood here.

In... Sorry.

I've been sent the wrong carpet. I need to exchange it.

Apologies. What's the product?

It says Lootpile on the packaging. I ordered Burr Below.

That's the manufacturer reference. In store, we use the catalogue name. Right.

Okay, so I've paid more just because it's got a different name.

No, no, uh, uh, uh, Lootpile is a subsection of Burberlow. It's identical.

Uh, okay.

Actually, I think I'll just go for the full return.

Yes.

Let's just suppose it's a return.

Okay, no problems. Uh, well, if you've got your receipt or your order number,

then I'll log into the system, and if you still wish to proceed, then you can

fuck yourself.

blokes in our bins again.

Hey. Oi, Thursday.

Cowgirl?

Or reverse cowgirl? Huh?

Well, which is it?

Getting looks.

All right, Lululemon. Go on, sling your hook. Mum, you are on a B -day in

public. Yeah, well, I need to give it a test drive. I'm getting one in my new

flat. Why?

No one has one.

What if I must downsize?

then I least want me heart to feel like it's gone on a date.

Oh. Oh, Sid, anyway.

You fancy, man?

Oh, no.

No, um... Right, well, if you actually need to know, I'm manifesting. Oh.

Seize your destiny.

So what you do, Mum, is you picture your future and you just think really

positively about it all of the time. And then just good stuff happens.

So, like, Glenn got a promotion, I got a new job. Oh, give it a rest.

You're volunteering at an all -age company.

It's only one step up from putting the shift at Sue Rydercare. Well, no. They

asked me to come in and turn it around.

Yeah, good luck with that.

I've seen six months when it all goes tipped up.

Actually, Mum, it's not going to go tipped up.

Because I'm manifesting. I've made a business plan to reorganise their

workflows. It'll make our wedding fund back by Christmas.

Well, bloody for you.

Look, I need someone to help with this. Because you're no fucking you.

Hello, troll.

You thought you could rattle me.

Well, I'm sorry to inform you.

I'm thriving.

I do hope you can find some peace.

Never contact me ever again.

Bye -bye now.

Right. Sit there and do it without burning your minge off.

I'm sorry, Mr. Campbell, but verbal abuse against a customer is a very

complaint. I've got this.

Salam, brother.

Listen to me, yes?

Glenn is a good man. Trust.

Zafi?

Pardon?

No, I thought you were Arab, but you ain't. We need to investigate this

In the meantime, Mr. Campbell, you can't work on the shop floor.

Oh. Sorry. No, no, no.

I'm the only one here who sells anything.

Rude. What about Helen?

We know you're there, Helen. We can see your split ends.

Please abide by the new working conditions.

We'll be in touch.

Fuck! Sorry.

Bro, what is up with you? You're giving me full Jeff Dahmer vibes.

You know that look when he's been chopping up bitches on the slide? That

bruv. Look at you.

Except he was fit.

Even now, what are you twiddling your hair for, bro? If you've got knit, you

back off. I don't want them pricks under my hijab.

Just thinking about Lee, my brother. He's going through a tough time.

Hmm. So this ain't about your dad?

He come back from the dead, but now you don't want you to find him, and he's

ignoring you and not replying to your emails.

Um, no, it's not that.

Hmm.

I'm going to bounce.

I had an edible a bit ago.

You're wigging me out.

Actually, you can't go.

It's only four. You're down for a full day. I emailed you the rota. Yeah,

I never got that.

Did you check your junk?

You should be checking your junk.

It's basic administrative competence.

Oh.

Shitting fuck.

I'm going to go.

And don't you go chopping up no bitches, yeah?

Promise?

Yeah.

Oh, Kenneth!

Lee! Lee!

He's replied.

I got an email. I think it's from Dad, from his business address.

Went to my junk folder.

Let's talk DC.

It's in DC. Don Campbell is... I'll have to have a Zoom call for later.

You excited, yeah?

Yeah, of course I am.

It's a trauma, isn't it?

Yes. Are you going to be all right? Because you do seem... quite, uh...

I'm sure he was a nun.

He was a pope.

Where is he?

Right, well, let's, uh, maybe get cleaned up for the call. Is it, Lee?

I think they found him.

Ah, fuck.

Um... It's a judge.

Of course it's a fucking judge.

Music confession was always the person at the car park where they told Maureen

that I fell in love.

Right, cut.

Is the laptop too low? Shall I get some books to prop it up? Ben, it's fine,

love. Right.

Sorry. Here.

Okay.

Didn't fancy popping on a shirt.

Here we go.

She'll call through any moment now.

Okay.

Oh, God.

Is that... Is it... Hi.

Hello, it's me, Glenn. I'm, at least I think I might be, maybe, your... That's

not your dad.

Sweat.

Oh.

Sorry, who are you? Me.

Des.

Cousinelli. Do you say? Your dad's ex -business partner.

Um, right. Well, maybe you could help us, because we're, um... I just want to

see you, sir. The progeny of the...

Can't erect my life.

He ran off with my reader. And my money.

Reader.

The only woman I ever loved.

I just want to look in your eyes and tell you with the utmost gusto

to go fuck yourselves.

What? Wait, hang on.

Wait, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!

What? No, no, no. Lee, Lee, wait. I'm going to go and have a fag. I'll call

back, Lee. He doesn't want to be fagged, Glenn.

It's fag.

Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee. No.

Lee, Lee.

Ah!

Nice.

Right.

Shall we?

It's all right, but it is just chafing a bit.

So, are you sure you want to do this now?

Yeah, of course, why not? Yeah, OK, well, it's just after, you know, and we

do it another time. It's fine, it's fine, it's great, yeah. OK, well, I've

doing some research, as promised. Lovely.

And it says, first ensure that your sub feels safe within the mutually agreed

parameters of play.

Do you?

Yep. Yep?

Great, OK.

Next, establish yourself's pain threshold, gradually build force whilst

encouraging a dialogue around optimal level.

OK, so... I'm going to call him back.

What? Him dead.

Why? Because, I mean, he must know something, mustn't he? What, Glenn? Can

talk about this later?

I mean, not for me, for Lee.

I think Lee really needs to find him, find Dad.

No, no, what I'm saying is, you know, I've got to do it for Lee, haven't I?

on me. I'm his brother.

And just now, he looked like he was giving up hope. I don't think he's

hope. I think he's fine.

We don't know that, though, do we, Curse? What I'm saying is... Lee is

is fine. He is absolutely and completely fine. Oh, shit!

Lee!

What is it?

I was bathing Mother's corns.

Oh, thank God.

I was in the bedroom and I saw the flames through the window.

Making eggs.

Tell you what, Roger.

I'll tell you what. Why don't you come in for a cup of tea? It's the least we

can do.

Actually, Roger.

Another time.

If that's okay.

Quite a nasty burn.

That should hold the bandages.

How did it happen?

Oh, he's been drinking quite heavily.

I've nodded off.

I've not been keeping it to the single bed with my sciatica. I do think the

drink might have had something to do with it. We need to get something

then. A small double bed might fit. What do you reckon? I don't think we need to

do that. Or temporarily.

You know, our bed's a double. Kirsty could take yours. I could sit at the

Glenn, do you mind if I have a word, please?

And listen, I am trying to be positive, but I do think maybe that's taking the

actual piss.

Some people don't need a hug, they need a slap.

And that is not about it. Okay.

Oh, God.

Exactly. It's a relapse. What?

No. It's like, I mean, I don't know. I mean, it's temporary.

It's not temporary. It's not temporary. It's not temporary.

Curse me.

Huh?

I'm sorry.

Sorry,

Lee, but just about the fire, you just fell asleep, right? Well, I don't know

I've told you, Glenn, or if I've mentioned it. It's just... Trauma. It's

trauma, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, I think you did mention that. But if there was anything

else, then... Well, actually, Glenn, there is something I want

you to do for me. Oh, yeah, of course, anything. What is it?

Couldn't knock us up a pint of colada, could you, please?

I'm not going anywhere, Kirsty.

24 hours.

You help me out.

Or we, Glenn, gets the photo.

No, it's absolutely fine.

It's fine. What?

Yeah. Yeah, he can, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah? Mm -hmm. Oh, wow.

Thanks, guys.

Thriving to do that.

Yeah.

Ooh.

Drones are backed up, aren't you?

Mm -hmm.

I was going to take it to the tip.

Then it was too big for the... Then the dust took off my... Yes.

Oh, my God.

No, no, no, no. I know it looks mad, but I had to put everything all together.

All the clues for finding him, finding Dad. I've got to find him, guys, for

But there's nothing cursed. It's like it don't exist.

Right. Well, come on, there must be something.

What about Rita?

Hmm? Yeah, Desi's wife.

He said that your dad ran off with her. Maybe they came back to England.

You know, there can't be that many, what, Cusinelli's.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Yeah.

Glenn, um, there's something that I need to tell you.

Um, something about... about your brother.

I...

It's, um... Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Oh, God. There's one here. Rita Guzzinelli in Harlow.

It's 20 minutes away.

Great. First.

Thank God I can rely on you.

First, honestly, I love you so much.

I don't know what I'd do without you.

So what are you going to say?

Oh, oh, um, just about the bins.

You changed the collection, so it's once a fortnight now, yeah.

So it was about Lee? Yeah, because he's livid.

Really cares about council spending, apparently, so... Yeah.

Right, then.

Seeped.

We edged back to the pillar.

Right, I'll put a new bandage on it, then. We've run out.

So Lee and I can go and get some more, can't we?

What? Yeah, yeah, the petrol station's open 24 hours, so go and get some. Come

on, let's go.

Right. Oh, and Lee, sorry, mate, about the bins.

It's, uh... underfunding.

Huh?

Come on.

Checkingly, when you posted all the letters that Glenn wrote, which post box

you use? Just because the one by us is actually out of order.

Yeah, it was the next one.

Is it?

Yeah.

Oh, I didn't post them, so what? Why should I? Just forget that now. We need

talk about Glenn, OK? What about these?

They're corn plasters. We need bandages.

Yeah, Glenn wants to find that. OK, so just let him. No, no, not that. How

these? Right, that is a knee support, OK? I don't need a knee support. We need

bandages for his head.

He didn't know him, though, did he? I did.

I'm the fucker with abandonment issues. Just listen to me.

I left that and all, mate. I need you, you shit.

And Glenn needs you.

And you are turning yourself into a stick at the fucking dump.

Stick at the fucking what? We did it in year nine.

Oh, wow. Yeah, I'll take those. I'll take that. Definitely.

And that. Thank you.

Thank you very much.

Don't tell anyone.

Look, Lee. You know what? Fuck it.

Glenn can find Dad on his own.

I've had enough fucking trauma in my life. Rob!

Morning, love.

Oh.

Um, Glenn?

Hmm?

So, so sorry, but, um, it's, uh, it's about your brother.

He, um, he, he's... What, he was in the hot water?

Don't worry, I'll shower later.

Sorry? He's told me to hurry up if you need a wee.

Oh,

no. Thanks for planning our talks, love.

Yeah, it must have been a further to get, though.

Oh, and I found a lead on that.

That Rita.

I found her address.

Oh, great.

Hello. Hello.

Dare I say it? I feel like, you know, everything's looking up.

I mean, you could say everything's coming up, right?

I love the music.

It's so loud.

I love the music.

It's a warning, Lee.

Someone's advised to find him. Don't you dare, cunts.

Okay, Dad.

It's on.

Coming for ya.