All language subtitles for henry_danger_s05e37_remember_the_crimes

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Original subtitles

Swaz, what is that thing?

Oh, nothing.

It's just the Omega weapon.

The one from the blueprints Ray and Henry got from all those bad guys in No

Man's Land?

Yeah. The one that can take away Ray's superpower?

That's it.

Why would you build that?

Because Ray told me I couldn't, and I hate it when people tell me I can't do

something. I thought he said you shouldn't build it.

Yeah, well, he shouldn't pinch my cheeks and steal my cereal every morning, but

I guess we all do things we shouldn't do.

See, eating turkey legages makes me feel more manly. See, that's how I feel

about grilled cheese.

What?

Oh, hey, Schwoz, give me some of that cereal.

No!

Wait.

Are you building the Omega weapon again?

Yes. The one that can take Ray's superpower?

That's it.

Why do you keep building that?

Well, why do you keep pinching my cheeks and stealing my cereal every morning?

Because you're so cute when you get mad.

Now give me some of that sweet booty crunch.

Get that away from me. Stop.

Stop. Everybody stop.

Look, he's so cute. Look at his face.

I'm not cute. You're cute.

We're all cute, okay?

We're all cute.

Wait, why are you and Henry both dressed like half a ghost?

Oh, these are togas. We were fighting the Time Jerker. Yeah, chased them all

way to ancient Rome.

Had some pretty good food there. We watched a bear fight a flock of turkeys.

Yes, we did. The turkeys actually won.

Wow.

Stumbled across some pretty good statues.

All right, you can all roll your eyes and groan now.

When the city of Swellview finally builds me my own statue of Captain

will roll our eyes and groan harder.

Considering everything I've done for this city, it's the least they could do

me. You already have your own holiday. They just opened Captain Man Stadium.

There are 12 streets named after you. Which makes driving very confusing.

Anyway,

we captured the Time Jerker. We took his new time ray he built.

Same way any dark matter fluctuator does. You just point and shoot. No, no,

mean this!

Okay.

Where'd you send it? Uh, to, uh, right about now.

What the heck?

Hey, I'm trying to study. Quit throwing stuff at me.

Hey! Hey! Swans! Swans, get back here!

Get out!

Would you guys keep it down?

I'm sleep learning.

Just learning.

What are you talking about?

Learn to fight while you sleep.

And also Spanish.

Mm -hmm. It's a 100 -hour audio book that teaches you to fight while you

Those books don't work.

Yeah, they do.

And I want to learn to fight, so I'm going on a mission with you and Ray

I head off to college.

Well, I think you've got plenty of time, Jasper, because we don't graduate high

school for another year.

All right, guys.

Right?

Guys?

Does he not know?

Not know what?

Someone's got to tell him.

Tell me what?

You tell him.

Uh, I can't. I'm slurning.

Okay, what's going on?

Henry, we're graduating this week.

OK,

this is just bad.

Henry.

We are graduating from high school.

But you aren't. But you aren't.

I know you can hear me.

You're just using our thing as a defense mechanism.

It all just kind of happened. I wanted an after school job, but then an

indestructible superhero hired me to be his sidekick.

Now we blow bubbles and fight crime.

not graduating. How could I not be graduating? You've missed too much class

fighting crime over the years. You don't have enough credits to graduate.

I mean, honestly, when was the last time you were in school?

The other day when I broke my arm and Rain Schwoz came in with the trebuchet.

That was a year ago.

What?

And then they would tell me I'm not graduating.

School's been sending you warning letters every week for a year.

Did you open any?

No, I just tossed them aside because I assumed they were bad news.

Well, good news.

You still have... perfect teeth?

Yes, thank you, Charlotte. My teeth are great. But also, are you about to move

away and go to college?

Yeah, I'm leaving for Dystopia the day after we graduate.

You're going to college in Dystopia? No. That place is a crime -ridden toilet,

and it's on the other side of the world.

I know that. Do you even speak Dystopian? When did you learn this? How

I missed?

I'm taking a gap year to run a charity in Dystopia. After that, I'm going to

Harvard. What about Jasper? Is he going to Dystopia, too?

Uh, no, he got into Harvard, which sounds like Harvard, but it's a very

different school.

Hey, we gotta roll. Are we all packed up for one night in the desert?

Yeah. You load up your car, and I'll wake up Jasper.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. One night in the desert is

all -night party for graduating seniors only. I'm graduating, too.

Huh? Going to Florida State.

Huh? Don't start.

You're my younger sister. How could you be graduating already?

I did bad things.

Spent a lot of time in summer school.

Ended up earning enough extra credits to graduate early.

Seniors! Seniors!

Seniors!

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Release!

Release!

Release! Release!

Ray, I got a big problem here.

One thing at a time, Henry. Okay.

From Saul.

What's your deal?

My deal is that everyone's graduating from high school except me.

So? You don't need to graduate from high school to be a sidekick.

I don't want to be a sidekick for the rest of my life.

Then you won't be.

You can take over and be a full -on superhero when I retire. In 30 years.

30 years?

Okay, you got me. More like 40 years. I'm in fantastic shape.

I don't want to be stuck in Swellview being a sidekick for the rest of my

Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize you were stuck in Swellview with me.

Yeah, I guess I didn't realize it either.

I've been too busy down in the man cave for six years answering emergency calls.

Emergency call.

See? I'll answer it.

Better go to emergency voicemail.

Henry and I aren't done here yet.

Emergency voicemail is full.

Really? Yeah. Remember that girl, Mika, who saved you when Jack Fertilman

trapped you inside that escape room?

Uh, we saved her, but yes.

Well, she leaves about ten messages a day asking if she can help you guys

crime.

Hi, it's Mika. Just want to let you know that I'm here if you need me to help

fight crime.

Hey, it's Mika, again.

Here if you need me.

Here if you need me.

Hey, this is Miles. Can you call my sister back? She's losing her... Okay, I

don't know what Miles told you.

This is the vice mayor.

Oh, oh, that's probably about my statue. Press play, press play.

I need you and Kid Danger to come to my office right away.

Ha, ha, ha, you hear that?

He just said he's going to give me my statue.

He didn't say a single word about a statue.

What else could it be about?

Literally anything.

Release!

Release! Release!

Trap! Trap!

Trap!

Maybe I can talk to the vice mayor and he can pull some strings and let me

graduate or something.

What? No, no, no, no, no, no. Henry? No, no, no. Why? The vice mayor only grants

one wish for a meeting, okay?

So if anyone's going to be rubbing his little belly and getting worse, granted,

it's going to be this guy, all right?

Who's Henry?

Uh... Not... me.

Not him.

Okay.

Wait, wait. Come back.

I'm coming back.

Where's the vice mayor? On vacation with my mom.

What?

What?

He told me to play this for you when you get here.

Clapton Manning.

Captain Manning. Whatever.

I'm the vice mayor, not the recorded twice mayor. So I'm just going to keep

going. Fellas, this here is Bose.

Hey, Captain Manning, Kid Danger.

Hey, Future Bose.

Hey, Best Bose.

That's me.

I married Bose's mom yesterday, which means I get to go on vacation.

With her, not with Bose.

So he's your responsibility now.

What? Watch him, feed him, change his diapers.

Whatever. I'll be back in two days.

His mom assures me that she'll know if you try and swap mouths for another kid.

Don't even try that.

Dang it!

If you keep him safe and mostly unharmed, there might just be a statue

your future, if you know what I'm saying. And what I'm saying is, I'll

a statue.

Yes! Yes!

See you in two days.

Now turn this thing off or look away.

Unless you want to see me in the tiniest... beach legal swimsuit in the

Come on, buddy.

Dude, no, we can't just take this kid back to the man cave.

So we just find some excuse to dump him with Jasper, Shiper, Charlotte,

Charlotte, I feel like you could have.

Cat's out of the bag.

We know someone named Charlotte.

Great. Can't wait to meet her, Jasper, Shiper, and Henry.

Let's go.

No, we can't stick with any of those people because they're all one night in

desert. Even Shiper? Yeah, she's graduating already.

Before Shu?

She's graduating before Shu? She took a lot of summer school and I can't stink

of believe this is happening to me.

Careful!

You could have severely injured my chances of getting a statue.

We still got this cave all to ourselves.

And we're still graduating tomorrow.

Senor! Senor!

Senor!

What are you doing in that sandbank?

Just trying to find a place to learn to fight while asleep.

And also Spanish.

But people keep flaking me out.

Out!

Hey, man, I was here first.

Bitch, Bilski, you're not even graduating. I'm crashing one night in

okay? I started high school ten years ago. I'm not waiting another three to

graduate.

You haven't even graduated yet. Only because the system's biased against dumb

people. Hey, be quiet. I'm trying to learn.

You want to find a different cave? Yes.

Seniors! Seniors!

Seniors! Nice great teacher!

Get out of here!

Albert

Einstein?

LeBron James?

The poet? What? None of these people graduated from high school.

I'm positive all those people graduated from high school.

Oh, my God! Is that my statue?

Oh, wow. I thought I'd be bigger. Shut up. I don't care. Just open the crate. I

want to see my statue. There's no statue inside.

Huh? Then what is this thing?

Whoa! Is this the man cave?

Who's that?

Oh, this is Bose.

He's the vice mayor's stepson. We've got to watch him for a couple days.

Who's this guy?

Shiper? Jasper?

Oh, no, that's, uh, Schwoz.

Schwoz, wow, I did it again.

Nice to meet you, Schwoz.

I want to dig up that memory wiper.

I'll need it.

What does the memory wiper do?

Ooh, you might not need it, Ray.

Who's Ray?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, go, go, go, go, go, go.

Wait, wait, wait, Schwoz.

What is this thing?

It's for the meeting Kid Danger set up with the mayor of Neighborville.

What kind of meeting?

Is that today?

He's being recruited to be a superhero.

For Neighborville.

Go get the memory wipe for Schwoz.

Let me know if you take the job.

Okay.

Oh, yeah?

Listen, uh... I can, uh... I can explain.

Oh, yeah?

Previously in The Man Cave...

Captain Man was upset to find out that Kid Danger set up a meeting to be

recruited by the mayor of Naperville.

Schwoz was off finding the memory wiper, whatever that is.

Boze was a little hungry.

Let's see what happens.

Sorry, I watch a lot of TV.

So how long you been thinking about leaving me? Look, I'm not trying to

you, okay? Look, I don't even want the Naperville job. Yeah, what's this crate

doing here? The mayor wouldn't stop calling me, okay? So I thought I'd

Let him come here, make his case, and then I'd say no and he'd never ask

Yeah, okay. Yeah, well then, hey, let's hear his pitch.

I mean, if it's from Neighborville, it's probably lame.

You're going to love your very own D -D -D -Danger Cave.

And you'll never be lonely with your new roommate, the cheerleaders.

Who cares about cheerleaders? I'll tell you who

cares. Kid Danger's new sidekick, Old Mildred.

What would you say to having your very own statue?

Okay, that's enough.

That's right.

A statue!

You know, maybe you should take the job, Henry.

Who's Henry?

Dang it!

I think it's him.

Where's that memory wiper, Schwoz?

I don't want the job.

Oh, really?

Because I'm starting to question your commitment to Swellview. My commitment

Swellview? Are you kidding me?

Well... You don't seem very committed to me. I'm not graduating from high school

because of how committed I am to this job.

Oh, my friends are leaving. I'm stuck here in Swellview being a sidekick and

saving lives.

Exactly. I've been too busy saving everyone else's lives. I forgot to have

of my own. You swore an oath to defend this city when I was 13.

So? So maybe I don't want to do it anymore.

Yeah, because you're obviously terrified of being stuck here in Swellview with

me. Yeah, Ray, I am.

Who's Ray?

David.

I think it's that guy.

Where's that?

why bourgeois i don't want to be your sidekick for another 30 or 40 or 50

but man that was always the plan you'd be my sidekick and then you take over as

captain man when i retire i don't want to be captain man okay i don't ever want

to be captain man i will never ever be captain man right there

then why are you even here that's a good question

What are you doing?

Quitting.

Hey, everyone.

I'm Henry Hart.

And I used to be Kid Danger.

Oh, and Ray?

What?

I'm taller than you.

Sir, can I get a ride home?

There, there, there.

There, there you are, young man.

Honestly, Mom, I'm not in the mood right now. I just got in a huge fight with my

boss, and I don't even know if I want to go back. Your son is a failure.

Okay, it's a little harsh.

Your father and I were snooping in your room, and we found your letter.

What letter?

You're not graduating from high school.

Oh, those letters.

My son is a failure!

Okay, listen, um... How are you failing all of your classes? What have you been

doing with your life? I'll tell you, nothing.

Well, actually... He's been doing nothing because he's a failure!

You want to know what I've been doing with my life, Dad?

I'll tell you what I've been doing.

Saving this town.

That's right.

I'm Kid Danger.

So her son's a liar now, too.

Why would I lie? Stop it, Henry. I really am Kid Danger. Here, I'll prove

you.

Okay, look, I don't have my gumballs because I just quit. But if I didn't

quit... Oh, so you're a quitter now, too?

Well, technically, yes, but I didn't know that I was gonna...

If

you're looking for Kid Danger, I actually just quit.

Okay, almost done wiping everyone's memories.

Hey, hey, hey.

You did a great job of wiping everyone else's memories.

Oh, thank you.

But maybe this time you could find it in your heart to just let me go.

Ah, get out of here.

Bless you, sir.

Oh, what a cutie.

What you doing?

Buying a school.

School fish?

Good idea.

You gonna ride him or race him?

No, it's a school for people.

Good idea.

You gonna ride him or race him?

What? No.

I'm buying a fake school so that when Henry comes crawling back in begging me

for his job... Hey, one last memory to buy. Won't take long.

Not a whole lot going on in the old, um... Rain?

No.

Head?

No.

What was the first one?

Brain?

No.

Wait, wait, wait. Hang on, hang on.

I'm going to get my statue. I've got to return this kid like I found him.

Sitting down. On it.

Schwoz, how hard would it be to alter the memory wipers to only erase the

specific memories? Like, only memories that involve me or things that I've said

or done?

Yeah, there's a setting right here.

I'm sorry, what?

It's easy. I can adjust this setting and it will only wipe the memories of you.

Then why haven't we been doing that this whole time, Schwoz?

Because he's so funny.

Oh, no, I don't know who I am. I've lost all knowledge of my life and the people

who love me.

That's true.

He's so funny.

But in his case, maybe just wipe his memories of me.

Got it.

Remember me?

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