Original subtitles

Yo, yo, Higgity, yo!

Yo! Yo!

Higgity! Hey, Charlotte, you don't look busy. Can you help me with my ho -ho

Higgity homework?

I would love to, but I have to sharpen Ray's giant sis -sis -siggity... His

scissors, his giant scissors. I'm sorry, I couldn't keep it going.

Oh, you got another grand opening today?

You love those.

Sure do.

I love all the fanfare. I love that new store smell.

You love making every grand opening about yourself?

Shh.

That's my line, big dog.

What? That's where to use that entrance line.

Oh. Uh, howdy doody, my little cuties. Please stop talking.

No. Don't do that again. No.

Oh, is this the grand opening, Scissors?

That's right.

We have another grand opening? You bet your butt we do.

I hate grand openings.

I hate the fanfare. I hate that weird new store smell.

I hate Ray making it all about himself.

Right.

Let's go.

Swellview's newest escape room isn't going to grandly open itself.

What is an escape room?

Oh, come on. You know how to say the word room.

An escape room is where they pretend to lock you and your friends inside.

And the only way to get out is to solve a series of clues and riddles and

things. If you solve enough clues in time, you escape.

Oh, that's how you escape from the room.

Buttercup, your sister's going to meet us there. Why does Piper get to go to

grand openings with you guys, but we never do?

Because she's the president of the Man Fans, right? Yeah, it makes sense that

she would be there.

Danger and I can't show up to an official event with Jasper Dunlop and

Charlotte, uh... Do you not know my last name?

Uh, no, it's, uh... I've worked with you for five years.

Yeah, no, I know. It's, uh... Sweb?

You think my name is Charlotte Sweb?

Is it not?

Get this over with.

My last name is... And I've already stopped listening.

Play it out, Schwoz.

just stole from my dad. I am innocent.

It's not about the money.

Are you sure?

Because you could take this money and maybe forget about whatever I did wrong.

I don't take bribe money.

Maybe your kids do?

Money is a trap. The weak use the control of the strong.

Also, bribery is illegal.

And they're not my kids.

I don't like children.

Well, you three seem...

Gotta go to the grand opening of the new escape room downtown, so... Not so

fast, Blondie. We have to talk about my niece, Mika.

She's a smart one. Hey!

And my nephew, Miles.

He's the funny one. Hey!

Where are you going?

Wherever my path takes me.

Oh! I think I see your path, and it goes right out of my house.

Not today, does it?

You're babysitting, baby girl.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

Well, my grand opening. There's going to be pictures. I got a new haircut.

And I love it. It makes your eyes pop.

But you still haven't completed your community service.

What? I left you to pick up trash on St.

Street, but when I came back, you were gone.

I left a bag full of trash, like you said, and everything.

Anybody or anything could have filled that bag.

Now, my sister and I are having a staycation.

We're going to eat our weight in ice cream and binge watch season two of Will

and Grace.

That's a good season. That's a great season.

I'll see you tomorrow.

What?

You guys like Escape Room? I refuse to be trapped by anyone or anything.

Ask Becky, who thinks she's smarter than me, but she's not, and I can't stand

that. Captain Man and Kid Danger will be there. Trap me, baby. Who cares about

Becky?

Anyone here?

Knock, knock, it's us.

Hello.

Aloha.

Superhero and a sidekick looking to murder a grand opening ribbon.

Maybe it's the wrong escape room.

Is this a surprise party for me?

Oh, Ray, don't do this again.

It's a surprise party, isn't it? No, it wasn't a surprise party at the empty gas

station. It wasn't a surprise party at the bathroom store. And it certainly

wasn't a surprise party at my grandmother's funeral.

Yeah, that was the saddest surprise party ever.

That's because it wasn't a surprise party.

Hello?

Ooh, first guest.

I won't tell him you told me. What are you not getting?

Surprise!

What?

Yes. No. For you?

Yes. No.

This is Gammy's funeral all over again. I know, right?

We didn't bring you anything, but give me five minutes and I'll bring you a

better present than Becky could ever even think of.

Who's Becky?

Exactly.

Hello, and welcome to Swellview's newest escape room.

Please put all your phones and weapons in the box labeled phones and weapons.

A weapon? I don't think we should. Everybody do it!

Whatever.

This doesn't seem right. Yeah, I don't have a good feeling about it. Shut up.

It's for my surprise party.

One of my many phones.

Can you let that girl back in?

No. Okay.

Don't worry, kid.

I'll open the door.

I've got a key.

how escape rooms work.

Yeah, you have to solve a bunch of riddles to open the door.

That's right.

And the theme of this escape room is revenge.

And that is a Boomsday device.

Dude, this thing looks real.

Like, really real. That's because it is really real.

Boomsday devices go boom!

If that were real, my new boom -detecting boots would be glowing.

Are those your new boom -detecting boots?

Yeah. Because they're glowing.

Hmm? Oh, would you look at that?

I think this escape room is real.

Yeah.

Also, who are you?

I'm the smart one.

Awkward.

It all just kind of happened. I wanted an after -school job, but then an

indestructible superhero hired me to be his sidekick.

Now we blow bubbles and fight crime.

Feels good.

How about one more kick and then you're done?

Two more.

One.

Thank you.

Okay.

Anyway, I'm Mika. This is Miles.

And I'm not dying today.

Just so you know. Oh, yes, you are.

Okay, who are you?

Why didn't I just show you?

Yeah, you're not looking real familiar.

I'm Jack Sprittleman.

Does not ring a bell.

You blew up my factory.

I need you to be a little more specific.

We've blown up a couple factories.

The Frittle Chip Factory.

Oh, yeah.

Wait, didn't that happen a few seasons ago?

Yes, it was fall.

And on that crisp autumnal morning, there was a contest to find your

Frittle.

My beautiful factory was making frittles and money at an astronomical rate.

Say hello to my frittle friend.

Attention, this is Jack Edelman.

You blew

up this guy's factory?

Two of them, actually.

If you do that, won't you blow yourself up, too? Sorry, losers, this is a boom

-proof box.

While you go boom, old Jackie Furtles is going to be just fine.

So what, just wait around here until this boomsday device goes off? Oh, no,

willing to give you a chance.

Thank you.

But I want to see you squirm. No, thank you.

Follow the clue, then you'll find the exit. But you only have...

So what's the first clue?

Well, the first clue's a real humdinger. But you won't find it. It's this kazoo

with the bell on it.

Humding. Pretty easy.

Well, the next clue is... It's inside this.

Okay,

well, you got lucky on that one. But the clues just get harder.

Time for you to see the dentist.

Oh.

Dentist. I never have to see the dentist because my teeth are perfect. Riddle...

No more kicking, please.

Kicking time is over.

The answer is 2 .30.

Because it's time to see the dentist when your tooth's hurting.

Good one. I know the theme to this escape room.

Dad jokes.

We got this, Jack.

Shit. Especially since he forgot to start the clock.

my last name, though, right?

We have to hurry.

Henry, Ray, and Peeper are in trouble.

Yeah, I'm hurrying. I'd just like you to answer my question.

There's no time.

See? There was time right there. You could have answered.

Even now, you could be answering.

Yo, you guys, Dog Judge the musical just started. We gotta watch it right now.

Oh, we can't. We got a booty call about 20 minutes ago.

What? Praise no boom detecting booties went off.

They automatically send a signal back here telling us that he's in danger.

So I'm getting Schwoz into the bear -proof suit, and then we're going to go

them.

Okay. So we'll record Dog Judge the musical and then play it once we get

But we're watching all the commercials.

Very important.

And you're ready to go.

Let's roll.

Let's do it.

Wait. What?

I have to tinkle. Help me take this suit off.

Asked you if you had a tinkle before we started putting it on. I didn't have to

then.

Well,

if he's going to pee, I'm going to pee.

Right, now I have to pee.

I'm still kind of hungry.

Me too.

Yeah, I'm glad you guys said that, because I'm starving.

Okay, okay.

Suit off.

Bathroom. Snacks. Suit back on while we watch Dog Judge the Musical through the

first commercial, which we will watch.

Yes.

And then go save Ray, Henry, and Piper. Push up, push up, push up.

No, no, fly.

Fly away. Fly like this.

Wrong. Here we go. Fly like daddy.

Like, nope. Nope. Nope.

Okay,

we got all the ducks in a row. No, fly away, pretty ducks.

Ducks can't fly. This guy's an idiot.

It said 1701.

Hey, man.

What about the brick wall?

Well, I didn't expect you to solve all the clues, but just in case you did, I

planned ahead and had my weapons guy, Dimitri, build a second wall out of

bricks.

Well, that's not fair.

Well, neither is having your fiddle factory blown up.

It was actually two factories. Not helping.

Sorry, boys, and the two innocent children that got...

Michigan.

And I can't wait to meet Neville.

What about us?

Well, I'm sure you can meet Neville, too. He sounds like a good dog. What are

you talking about?

I'm talking about how we're not indestructible, dude, okay? These kids

really freaking out. I'm good.

Yeah. Why aren't you freaking out? Because I'm on the path to greatness.

What? Yeah, what?

He brought it in a cookie.

A fortune cookie.

It said you were destined for greatness.

So that's my destiny.

So? I once had a fortune cookie that said your hair will fall out. I mean...

Then that's your destiny. You want to step outside, buddy? Hey, hey, hey.

I know I'm on the path to greatness.

Just like I know if I fall, someone will catch me.

What? What are you falling right now?

See? I don't worry about anything.

Ever.

So what are we going to do about this Boomsday device?

Nothing! Ha ha!

Somebody will figure something out.

Probably Mika.

We watched the opening number of Dog Judge the musical.

There's a musical for us over at Dog Judge. What?

We said Grace, took out the trash, and Jasper put on sunscreen.

Are we ready to go save Ray, Henry, and Piper?

So ready.

Born ready.

Amen. Let's go.

Piper? Sup, snitches?

I thought you were in the escape room. Oh, my phone went off, so I got stuck

outside. It was a trap.

Good thing I got out of there.

We gotta go save Ray and Henry. Let's move.

Fine, I'll come with you.

Sure, sure, just get in here.

Yeah, sure, just let me pee real quick.

No!

Well,

if she's gonna pee, I'm gonna pee again, too.

Can you believe this?

Ashley gotta pee again, too.

I do, too, but I'm not taking this off again.

cut this gold wire.

Just pull it out. No! It's electrified. You'll get... Nothing the old man mouth

can't fix.

Fire in the hole!

Ah!

I'm okay!

Will my cheese work?

Oh, yes!

No!

How did this happen?

Wait a minute.

You didn't disarm it.

You just cut the wire to the timer display.

of Dog Judge the musical.

Dog Judge! You'll never believe what happened!

Looked up pictures of trees on the internet, decided Piper should be in the

suit, peed again, and fed Chunk the hipster.

Are we ready to go save Ray and Henry? Yeah!

Save them!

This stuff smells weird.

Oh, wait, I just remembered I have homework to do.

Later!

This is why you get paid the least. Wait, what?

Good news. The hospital just texted me. They're able to reattach Jack

Riddleman's face.

Yeah. Good thinking on your part to put that face on ice. That was actually

Miles and Mika's idea.

Who?

The kids who helped us escape from Riddleman's trap.

Riddle who? Are you serious?

Are you serious right now? You know what? Whatever. Your brain's broke, but

got a wad. Yeah, me too.

I'm going to go first. Well, I'm in charge here.

Don't tug me. I'm holding a duck.