Original subtitles

Five, six, seven, eight. Ray, this is lame.

What?

And we all quit.

You guys can't quit. Come on. I got a date with a mom and I told her I was in

barbershop quartet. Yeah, why would you do that?

Because this mom said she loved three things.

Barbershop quartets, good listeners, and... I want to say potatoes. I don't

what... Sorry I'm late. Traffic, am I right?

Or should I just grab any open desks?

Uh, we don't have desks. Right.

Open workspace. Very modern. Kind of a startup vibe. I like it.

Uh, you don't work here.

There you go, Piper. Phone call for you online, too.

What? Take a message.

You're the boss.

He's not the boss.

I'm the boss.

I wonder if junk and stuff get a second phone line. Oh, and also, you don't work

here. Oh.

Well, that's too bad, because I... I heard about a crime that just went down

the Museum of Boring History.

Oh, yeah?

What happened?

Someone stole the Swellview Declaration of Independence.

Really? Are you serious? We got to do something. Hold on. We don't even know

it happened, okay? I'm not just going to run off and start breaking teeth

because Patty Pantsuit here says so.

It's all over social media.

You guys don't follow Juicy Crimes and Memes? I don't know. How do you spell

Juicy?

We don't get crime tips from meme accounts.

Let's at least hear what it says.

We're broken this morning.

Standard B &E accepts witnesses say a guy in a mask grabbed the declaration,

turned himself into a pigeon, and then disappeared in a puff of smoke.

But that's none of my business. Kermit's drinking me cup of tea.

Oh, a puff of smoke, a pigeon. That sounds like a magic trick.

It sounds like a steaming load of horse shot.

Emergency call.

It's a real crime.

It really happened.

Captain Man of Emergency Line, how may I punch your problem?

Museum of Boring History?

All right.

Really?

Roll your Declaration of Independence?

Mm -hmm.

Well, let me ask you this. What kind of a bird did he turn into? Oh, a pigeon?

Oh, all right.

Uh, thank you for your call.

So, who was it?

Wrong number.

Really? Yes.

They were trying to order pizza.

What are you doing here? Why don't you go give those pork clothes back to the

grown -up you stole them from? Because I'm the boss and you don't work here.

It's time to go back to nursery school, little girl. And just remember that

everything you said was wrong. Okay, so bye -bye. Bye -bye.

Bye -bye. Bye -bye. Okay, everything she said was right.

Let's go.

Wait, where are we going?

I'd start by going to the Magic Palace, but that's none of my business.

Karma drinking tea.

That's actually a good idea. Yeah, well, Henry and I are going to the Magic

Palace because I had the idea. Who had the idea? Because I'm the boss. Because

you're the boss.

I am.

I'm the boss of this place. This place is where I am the boss, okay? Not you,

not him, not her, but I am. I am the boss.

Dude, you need help.

I need help coming up with a bubble -blowing rhyme.

That's about it, though.

Oh, it's Piper. She sent us a rhyme.

Are you kidding me? No, I'm not kidding you. She said, uh...

Let's go on a mission to catch a magician. I actually like that one a

Hello.

Abracadabra. Yes, abracadabra.

Oh, okay.

Oh, nice. That's pretty cool. Thank you.

I'm Tatiana.

Welcome to the magic palace.

Oh, Tatiana, we have some questions about a museum theft.

Yes, we'd like to speak to some magician.

Now, abracadabra. Yes, abracadabra.

The magicians are right behind this door in the magician's lounge.

All right, then that is where we will go.

Abracadabra. I just need to see a trick first.

I'm sorry, what? How's that? The magician's lounge is for magicians only.

Can't you read the sign?

What sign? I don't see a sign. There is no sign.

I don't know what you're talking about.

Look again.

Oh, okay. All right.

How'd you do that? All right, all right. Thank you.

I'm Tatiana.

Hey, Tatiana.

Hey,

Mysterio. Trick, please.

Sure thing.

Pick a card.

Oh, boy. Here we go. Here comes the magic.

Now, look at it.

Oh, it's you. It's me.

That's cool. That's cool. That's great.

Can I keep this?

Keep what?

Okay. All right.

Thank you.

I'm Mysterio. Yeah.

Go on in.

Thank you, Mysterio. Respect, Mysterio. No, but for real, I want that card.

No trick, no entry.

Okay, Tatiana. We've all had fun.

But I'm going through that door.

And there's nothing you can do to stop me!

Wow. What?

Wow. No trick, no entry. Okay, I want to try.

No way!

No way!

Okay, here's what I'm thinking. That we should just leave? Absolutely not.

Thinking if that door leads to this door, then this door leads to the

lab!

No way.

Mm -hmm.

I mean, no way. Mm -hmm. Are you serious?

Should I open it? I would. I'm gonna open it.

Wow.

Thank you.

I'm Tatiana.

Dick you are.

It all just kind of happened. I wanted an after school job, but then an

indestructible superhero hired me to be his sidekick.

Now we blow bubbles and fight crime.

Feels good.

No.

You have to do a magic trick to get into the magician's lounge.

Well, we're going to learn plenty of magic tricks at this magic camp I just

found. Nice, dude.

Yeah. It starts tomorrow and it costs $18 ,000.

What? I am not paying $18 ,000 to learn a magic trick.

Well, it's not just magic. The website says we'll make friends, do some

Oh, there's a big dance at the end with a girl's magic camp on the other side of

the lake. We're not going to magic camp.

How else are we supposed to get in the magician's lounge?

I can't do card tricks.

I can't make schwoz disappear. Believe me, I've tried.

I can't make objects magically levitate with my mind.

What is going on? Oh, my God, I'm magic.

I'm magic!

You're magic!

Oh, this changes everything.

It was in me the whole time. Do it again, dude. Let me see if I can make

disappear.

Then who did?

I'll give you a hint.

He's handsome, invisible, and he's not wearing any pants.

Invisible Brad?

Is that you?

It sure is.

You can't just come in the man cave whenever you want, Brad.

Yes, I can.

Who's Brad?

Piper?

What are you doing here?

Just made a fresh pot of coffee.

Helped me get through the work day.

You do not... Brad.

Invisible Brad.

The Miranda got turned invisible because of Ray. Wasn't my fault. Was to.

Shut up, Brad.

He shows up every now and again.

Last time he was here, he tried to bury Ray in Henry Light.

Oh, that was funny.

See ya, ballerinas. Come back here. I made it legal to eat my friends.

Yeah, it wasn't that funny, Brad. I could have died. I hate you so much.

What are you doing here?

I'm here to offer Ray and Henry a deal. I refuse. Just relax.

What kind of deal are you looking for, Brad?

You guys need to do a magic trick to get into the magician's lounge, right?

Yeah, that's true.

Well, ooh, magic.

It's a pretty good trick, dude.

All right, Brad.

You're coming with us to the magic palace.

Not so fast.

If I help you, I want to become visible again.

How am I supposed to do that, Brad?

Not you.

The little science guy whose shower I've been sleeping in.

You can do pretty much anything, so I figure you could turn me visible again.

I think I can.

Just need something to practice on.

Fifteen caps should do it.

Come on, Schwoz. Where are we supposed to find 15 cats?

Well, I can get you 15 cats.

There's a sad grandma on our street who has, like, 50 of them.

Great. Time to go pretend I like old people.

Okay. Love her.

So, do we have a deal?

Deal. Yes!

You visibles just made a wise choice.

Come on, kid.

I got two great ideas for magician disguises. I am ready to love them.

Hey, guys, I learned a great magic trick. Don't need it. Already got a

But I put on this great jacket and swallowed the key.

So what's the trick?

Still with us, Brad?

Brad. Right here, blondie.

I hate you so much.

I'm not loving the disguise, Ray.

Don't use my name. We're undercover.

I'm the Amazing Ray.

Ah, that's great. Okay, so what's my name? Uh, I got a great one for you.

till you hear it. Oh, why don't you just tell me now, though?

Tatiana!

I am the Amazing Ray.

And this is my assistant, Trick Boy.

real magicians, and we'd like to enter the magician's lounge.

Just need to see a trick first.

Yes, yes, a trick indeed.

What a beautiful podium you have.

Have you ever wished it were a little bit higher?

No.

Well, wish no more.

She's such a wish.

Magic!

It's too heavy.

What? I said it's too heavy for your magic. I guess your magic is a little

of shape. Shut your mouth, trick boy.

Why don't I levitate a book?

Paperback. Are you kidding me? Okay.

Here, look. I'm levitating a paperback, lightweight book.

There it is. Ah, magic -y.

Nice trick.

Thanks. I guess that's why they call you Trick Boy.

Yeah!

It is.

Enjoy the magician's lounge.

practitioner of the magical arts.

Hey. I am the amazing Ray.

Alan. Alan the... Just Alan.

I know, worst stage name in the world, right?

Well, this is my assistant, Trick Boy.

Okay, maybe the second worst.

Oh, man.

Sick burn, Alan.

You know what Trick Boy needs for that sick burn?

Oh, really?

Oh!

For the burn. For the sick burn. No, I got it.

That's funny.

That's enough.

Alan, we heard that a fellow magician stole the Swellview Declaration of

Independence. Dude, you can't just come right out and ask like that. You got to

establish trust, build up a rapport.

Oh, yeah, Stu's got it. He's right over there.

Check it out.

I stole the Swellview Declaration of Independence.

Just walked in the museum, took it, and left.

Did you do the pigeon exit?

Heck yeah, I did the pigeon exit. I'm Stu.

That's my thing.

I love stealing things. Right?

It's so easy when you're a magician.

That's why I became one.

To steal. That's right.

Hey, Stu.

I'm the Amazing Ray.

And I became a magician so I could go undercover and arrest thieves. I also

that to do that.

I don't want to say my name. I don't want to say it, though. I don't want to

the name, though. I don't want to say Trick Boy. Trick Boy.

Well,

Trick Boy, how are you going to handcuff me when the cuffs are already on you?

I'm terribly sorry. I'm not following you.

What? Okay.

That's pretty good.

That's pretty good. No, but for real, though. The show's over, Stu.

You're coming with us.

Am I?

I just said you were. I don't know why you would say anything else.

All right, just give us a second.

It's really funny.

Okay, let's go. Ready? You go.

Hold on. All right, you lift up and you jump out. Go under. It's a thing. Go

under. Go under.

Go under.

Go under.

Go under. Go under. Go under. Go under. Go under. Go under. Go under. Go under.

Go under. Go under. Go under. Go under.

Go under. Go under. Go under. Go under. Go under.

Go under.

Go under. Go under. Go under. Go under.

Go under. Go under. Go under. Go under. Go under. Go under.

Go under. Go under. Go under. Go under. Go under. Go under. Go under. Go under.

Go under. Go under. Go under. Go under.

Go under. Go under. Go under. Go under. Go under. Go under. Go under. Go under.

Go under. Go under. Go under. Go under.

Go under.

Go under.

Go under. We got a trick up our sleeves.

Get him, Brad!

I said...

next trick i'm gonna make the two of you go to sleep oh actually i'm not i'm

good i just had a glass of warm milk on the way here so i'm good i guess i could

nap oh it's a nice thing

the worst headache.

Ray.

Ray, wake up.

Oh, my God. Stu, the magician turned the whole room upside down.

No, no, no, no.

It's an amazing trick.

No, dude. No, he just hung you upside down.

Oh.

Oh, that's a lot less amazing.

I don't know how you two got into the magician's lounge, but let me show you.

What we do to fakers.

Whoa! What was that?

They're called razor cards.

You see, I'm kind of the gang around here.

And you two are a couple of jokers.

Dang it, Brad! Get in here and help us!

This next card.

is headed straight for your... My eighth?

No, your heart.

Ah. Goodbye forever, trick boy.

That's not my name.

Ow! Right in my shoulder.

Brad! Finally!

What the...

I was aiming for Stu.

Who are you talking to?

He's talking to me.

Who just weakly slapped me?

Quit it.

Quick.

Well,

maybe you'll feel. Are you an invisible child?

You know what? I give up.

Sorry, guys. I'm gas.

Don't worry, Brad.

I got this.

Holy Houdini, he turned himself into a bird.

You win this round, Stu.

I miss him.

Dude, he's right over here.

Come on back.

I'll get it.

What? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Ow. Yeah, ow.

Nice work, Brad.

Oh, God.

Nice work, trick boy.

That's not my... Thanks.

I had this straight jacket.

Mission accomplished, people.

Nice. Mission not accomplished. You still have to turn me visible.

We're still working on that. We're down to our last cat.

I thought you had 15 of them.

We did.

What happened to the other 14?

What is that? A giant lion?

No, most definitely not.

So, does this thing turn things visible or not?

Only one way to find out.

It worked!

All right.

Now point that thing at my beautiful face and make me visible again.

Okay, get in position.

Get this chicken out of my way.

Soon, I will be known as Visible Brad.

Just Brad.

Just turn it on.

Okay.

Somebody get me a mirror.

I want to see myself for the first time. time in 15 years.

That's not a good idea.

Ah!

What happened to me?

Well, looks like you maybe haven't brushed your teeth in 15 years.

Or your hair. Or exercise.

Or changed your clothes.

Well,

why would I?

I've been invisible.

Well, there you go. That's your answer.

You look terrible.

I'm hideous.

If anybody needs me, I'll be crying in Schwoz's shower.

That's a private area.

Emergency call.

Captain Man, emergency line. How may I kick your conundrum?

What's that?

Giant cats, you say?

14 of them, say you.

Run it.

Look, I did it. I hacked up the straight

jacket key.

Wait, that's my house key.

Weird. I swallowed that when I was eight.