Original subtitles

And Schwoz is going to try to enjoy my man breakfast if you come in here

this one who's hiding under my table. And I got these two off in the corner

playing instruments I've never seen them play before.

You told us to learn how to play these. Yeah, you said you want to start the man

band so you can rent us out to bar mitzvahs.

Look, let's not focus on things I did or did not say.

But you did. Yeah, you did.

Let's focus on why Schwoz is hiding under my table.

I have to. It is part of my game with Henry.

What game?

I hide under things and I hit him with a sleep dart when he comes to work. It's

called hide and go sleep.

Henry loves it. Actually, I hate it. That's why I zapped you.

Yeah.

I guess you got me.

Sleep dart!

It's the vice mayor.

All right, put it on the monitor.

What's up?

I'm eating a reckless breakfast. I'm not going to stop.

Cheerio. Good morning, Captain Man Kid Danger.

Why do you look so funny? Also,

he says, why do you sound so funny?

I've been in Egypt on holiday.

That means vacation in English.

Take it easy, man.

I have a mission for you.

I want you to capture Mob Boss Rob Moss.

Who's Mob Boss Rob Moss?

He's Mob Boss.

Precisely. You can see him in our annual calendar of 12 U's hottest villains.

This is not safe.

I'm inexplicable. Yeah, but you can still choke to eat.

Uh,

which one is he? Yes, that is the question.

He surrounds himself with lookalikes. That way no one can ever be sure who the

real Mob Boss Rob Moss is.

Precisely. That's what makes Mob Boss Rob Moss such a slippery biscuit.

Hmm? A slippery...

Okay. Which means he's absolutely delicious, but impossible to catch.

Yeah. Caught him five times myself, or at least I thought I did each time it

turned out to be... Lookalike?

Decisive. Okay, why would you take a bite mid -sentence? You know what? I

even care. Just a joke. How are we going to find this wet biscuit guy?

Our sources indicate that he's going to be attending his daughter's sweet 16

birthday party.

Hmm. Sweet 16, the most important of all the girl birthdays.

Precisely. Now, I'm the vice mayor, not the give -you -advice mayor. But the

party is at Moss Manor. So when you sneak in, I suggest that you dress as

as you possibly can.

Otherwise, you're going to stick out like a llama on the loo.

Roger that.

And as always, on this mission, we have a license to kill.

There's no such thing as a license to kill.

Oh, so we don't need one. Great.

Time to let the big dogs eat.

I think it just means that we can't kill people.

Oh, I hear you.

Wink.

You've utterly misunderstood my meaning. We're on it. Click.

We're not allowed to just kill people. Read that!

Are you serious?

We're doing gadgets.

Come on.

How long was I out? Long enough for Schwoz to bring out a bunch of cool

to help with our mission tonight. Our mission?

Ray says me and Charlotte can come too. Oh, sweet.

Yeah, he says that we can keep an eye out for Rob Moss.

And if things get crazy, he's going to use me as a human shield.

Wait, but he's indestructible. Why would you be the human shield? Don't take

this away from me.

Hey, look who finally decided to wake up from his little nappy.

So I shot a sleep dart in my neck.

Sounds like it was an excuse dart. Wow.

Show them how the cufflinks work on a Captain Mannequin. Yeah, yeah. Okay.

See this mannequin over here?

He's wearing what look like regular cufflinks, right?

I definitely know what cufflinks are, and those look like regular ones.

I'm just going to take one of them off and put it in your pocket real quick. No

big deal. Oh!

Okay, first of all, don't put your hand there.

Hit it twice!

Hey, you want to see something else that's really cool?

I don't think I do.

Too bad, Jasper. Show him the DNA glasses.

Now, uh, these look like regular sunglasses, right? I bet they're not.

they're not.

They got DNA scanning technology.

Let's say you run into a guy that you might think is my boss, Rob Moss.

But you can't be sure, because he's got all those lookalikes. So?

You just push this little button right here on the side of the glasses, and

it'll use DNA to tell you exactly who it is.

Jasper, is your middle name really TBD?

To be determined.

Yeah, my parents said they'd give me a middle name at their one -year

anniversary.

Didn't make it.

Two gumballs are done.

Oh, Charlotte's here.

Hey, what you got there?

Special gum for a special occasion.

The vice mayor said you guys have to look extra fancy tonight. I think these

will do the trick.

It's just terrible. Yeah, it tastes like, uh, like, uh, like butt. Yes.

Couldn't quite put my finger on it. It's like butt. Butt. It tastes like butt.

It's Schwoz's recipe. I just mixed the ingredients and turned the gum maker on.

Wow, she's mixing some butt?

Just blow a bubble.

I put some butt in there.

Sorry?

Woo!

What? They look hot.

He's right. I mean, he's not wrong.

Great. Then you should blend right in.

Why are you wearing tuxedos, you gunchers?

Because we received incorrect information, sir.

Hey, Steve, you just admitted to being a gunch.

I think they knew.

It all just kind of happened. I wanted an after school job, but then an

indestructible superhero hired me to be his sidekick.

Now we blow bubbles and fight crime.

Feels good.

Why'd you make it for a tuxedo to a Hawaiian -themed party? Because the vice

mayor didn't tell us it was a Hawaiian -themed party. Well, now we stick out

like guys in tuxedos at a Hawaiian -themed party. We know.

It's gonna be a lot harder to blend in if I have Rob Moss when we look like

this. Yeah. I mean, the whole point of the tuxedos was to blend in, look cool,

and... We know!

Aloha.

What the?

I'm gonna go find Rob Moss.

Aloha. The goodbye one this time.

Okay, so what do we do?

Hang on, I got an idea.

Okay, so what do we do?

Stay focused.

Try to find Rob Moss.

All right.

I got my glasses right here. Bingo!

Let's do it!

That's Rob Moss.

That is... not Rob Moss. His name is Jeff Martin. His name is Jeff Martin?

Must be one of the lookalikes, then. Yeah, that looks nothing like Rob Moss.

Yeah, we know what they say.

Don't punch randos in the face? No.

Secret secrets are no fun. Always, always punch someone.

There's something wrong with you. Something wrong with your face.

Hey!

Bingo! What the heck, man?

Piper?

What are you doing here?

Feeling good, looking better.

No, I mean, why would Joss Moss invite you to her sweet 16?

I'm internet famous. I get invited to everything.

What are you two doing here?

In tuxedos.

Standing over an unconscious guy.

See, we are waiters.

What? Yeah, we're waiters.

So, yeah, we're just working the party.

Well,

if you're working the party, then go waiter me up a can of cranberry mango

punch. You know, I actually have a can of punch right here in my pocket. Why

don't you come over here? I'll give it to you. No, no, I'll get you the mango

fizzy punch.

How do I look?

No. Hey, who knocked out celebrity chef Jeff Martin?

Hey,

can I get a cranberry mango

fizzy punch?

Yeah, thank you.

Cute.

Oh, the drink. Yeah, no, it's not for me. It's for my little sister.

Well, I wasn't talking about the drink.

What were you talking about?

I was talking about you, because I think you're cute.

Why are you dressed like that?

Oh, I thought it was a costume party, so I thought I'd just come as a cute

waiter. I think it too.

Unless you have to bring that to your sister.

I really should.

Where were we?

What's going on?

Man, after a lifetime of working these parties, I'll start to look the same, am

I right?

Nope.

Yeah, no, you gotta stay sharp, stay focused, totally agree.

Say, have you seen mob boss Rob Moss around?

The real one? I'm asking for a friend.

Nope.

Okay, you got me.

I'm asking for myself.

So have you seen him?

Nope.

Sure do like that word.

Yeah, so, uh... I'm in a band.

No, you're not. I know.

Yeah, I think I'd be pretty good in one.

So you should come check us out when we exit.

Where's that cranberry mango fizzy punch?

Hey, Piper.

Hey, Joss.

Love your dress. Thank you.

I'm going to wear it once, then throw it away.

Yeah,

you should probably wear it more than once. I'm sorry, backing up here real

quick. What did you say your name was again?

Joss?

Joss?

Joss Moss.

Joss Moss.

Daughter of mob boss Rob Moss, Joss Moss?

That's right.

Hey, waiter.

Still waiting for my Cranman fist, too.

Ladies and gentlemen, please direct your attention to this special video message

from your kind host, legitimate businessman, Rob Moss.

Hello, everyone.

I would like to wish you a happy birthday.

to my beautiful daughter, Joss, on her sweet 16th.

The most important of all the girl birthdays.

Unfortunately, due to a misunderstanding with the Swellview Police Department

regarding the number of crimes I definitely did not commit, I'm unable to

here in person.

Oh, come on!

Got all dressed up like a... Stupid waiter. No offense.

The guy's not even here. I mean, how am I supposed to go undercover and bust

this guy if he's not even here?

I mean, I can't punch a hologram, can I?

Nope. Oh, there's that word again.

So, you're here to bust Rob Moss?

Oh, what, now you can say things?

John, I'm sorry about tonight, but I do have a surprise for you.

You're not really a waiter, are you?

Nope. You lied to me.

Take him to the beaten room.

Well, I don't like the sound of that.

Did you guys see that?

Yeah. Josh just got a diamond tennis bracelet.

Gorgeous.

Ray just got dragged off by three huge mob boss Rob Moss lookalikes.

Yeah. That's a gherkin bag.

Joss just got a gherkin bag.

Gorgeous. Okay, you guys.

You want me to steal that gherkin bag?

Yes. You guys.

Her dad probably stole it first. It's not stealing to be steal from a

Not accurate, but I like what you're laying down. All right, okay. Can we

just focus on what happened to Ray?

He's indestructible. I'm sure he's fine.

right. I'm sure it's fine.

Oh, Daddy!

How did you know?

Excuse me, honey. I gotta go take care of a charity thing.

Rob Moss on the move.

Gherkin bag still in place. On it.

Did you see where they took Ray?

Yeah. But, uh, there's a big ugly dude guarding a secret passage.

Which I gotta say, it's pretty cool.

You know what's pretty cool? A Christian Laboutine dog carrier that I didn't

even know existed.

I think I can get in there. I just need a distraction.

Have you seen what Joss is opening up there?

Henry!

Where's my cranberry mango fizzy punch?

Uh, I'm gonna... You know what? Forget it. I'm going to talk to your manager.

No, no, don't, don't, don't, don't do that, okay? I'm gonna get you the punch.

Yes. I heard that from you like ten minutes ago. Here you go.

Thank you, Charlotte.

I just need to create a distraction.

Just did. What?

Gave her a soda.

Shaken, not stirred.

else, Mob Boss Rob Moss?

When I get out of this thing, I'm gonna break you into a million stupid pieces.

I'm not Rob Moss.

Really?

Huh.

And guess what else, Mob Boss Rob Moss?

When I get out of this thing, I'm gonna break... I'm not Rob Moss either.

Ugh.

Uh, okay, listen, there's a pair of glasses in my pocket. If one of you

just be a lamb and...

Somebody shut this guy up.

My boss Rob Moss?

Yeah.

I knew it.

Did somebody say danger?

What are you talking about? Well,

if one of you said it, my entrance would have been cool.

Hey, Kid Danger. Hello, random citizen. I'm here to save you. Let's grab it. I

was actually just about to save myself.

Oh, you're going to save yourself?

I was working on it. Oh, okay. Well, I'll just leave then. Well, I didn't say

that. Well, if you're going to save yourself, I'll just leave then. I came

the way down here. Somebody please take care of this kid.

I love when this happens.

It's like I get to watch a bunch of me's beat people up.

You seem like a real good.

Hey, Mr. Moss, did your daughter have a boyfriend?

You spit on me?

Sure did.

That's disgusting.

You're trying to cook me. Fair enough.

Also, I'm leaving.

What?

Where are you going?

I gotta go find Mob Boss Rob Moss.

Want me to cuff him for you?

Or should I say cuff Link him for you?

I don't know what that means.

Daddy! You can't leave yet.

Sorry, honey.

I've got...

Never tell Schwoz how helpful these cufflinks were. Of course not.

All right, I've got to get back out to the party. Ah, I forgot about the butt

taste.

Hey, I was just in the bathroom for, like, a really long time.

Not for, like, a gross reason, though. For, like, a totally normal reason that

someone would do that.

What's up with you, huh? What'd I miss?

How's it going, hmm?

What's up? Well, you missed a lot.

Okay, I got a diamond tennis bracelet.

I saw that.

Someone just stole my gherkin.

Oh, bummer.

And my dad's on his way back to prison.

Uh, happy birthday?

Hey, I never got your name.

Yeah, it's Hart.

Henry Hart.

The way you said that was weird.

Very weird.

Hey, man, I was in the bathroom for like an hour.

Not for a gross reason, though.

It's okay. I don't know what this guy's doing.

It's fine.

He's here for me.

Oh. I need to discuss who's going to take over my father's very legitimate

business.

Is your father's business legitimate, though?

Never ask me about my business, Henry.

He's over, pal. Let's get out of here.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hang on a second.

Buddy, we gotta go.

You wearing a diamond tennis bracelet?

Oh, yeah.

It's not stealing if it's from a criminal.

Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Let's go, let's go, let's go.