Original subtitles

Don't go outside.

That's right, Mary.

The National Society of Names has just released this year's list of the most

popular baby names.

Casey and Abigail topped the charts.

And for the third year in a row, the least popular baby name is Hornface.

Hornface.

Makes sense.

Mm -hmm.

In our number two story tonight, the playground pooper has struck again.

The Swellview police suddenly have more duties than usual because someone or

something has been using Swellview playgrounds every night as a toilet.

Police have piles of evidence but have yet to arrest the prankster despite

flush with clues.

Has the news always been this funny?

We've got a bad situation here, people. We know.

The playground pooper has struck again.

No way, really?

No, actually, it's a little bit of a different bad situation.

She ought to hear this. Ow!

Police have no idea who is doing the dumping. An angry teen, a large baby,

No one knows.

It's a real poo -done -it.

A poo -done -it.

It's probably Jasper.

What? I was just going to say that. Will you stop me?

I don't know, Jasper.

It just smells like something you'd do.

That's really funny. That's really funny. That's really funny. All right,

over.

I'm not joking. I seriously think it's you.

Okay, guys, can we focus on what happened to me?

In non -funny news, witnesses say that Kid Danger, while teaming up with

Man to fight super criminal Dr. Karate, broke his arm this evening.

You broke your arm?

That's what I've been trying to tell you guys.

Dr. Karate, Karate chopped my arm.

I bet you wish you still had your super power. Yeah, because if you still had

your super fast reflexes, you could have just moved out of the way. All right, I

got it.

Guys, this is really bad.

It's just a broken arm. We'll cut it off. It'll grow right back. What? No.

That's not how arms work.

All right. That's a starfish.

Listen. What's bad is that if everyone in Swellview knows that Kid Danger broke

his arm tonight, and then Henry Hart suddenly shows up tomorrow morning with

broken arm, then any idiot can put two and two together and figure out that

Henry is Kid Danger.

I don't know. I don't think anyone's going to put any... I just put two and

together.

Oh, really?

Yes. People should look out for a boy about Kid Danger's height, about Kid

Danger's age, who has a newly broken arm.

Because that boy would be... Keep going, Mary.

The Playground Pooper?

Oh, so close.

No, Mary, that boy would be Kid Danger.

Okay, we have a really big problem on our hands.

I agree.

How are we going to get Jasper to stop pooping in playgrounds? It's not me!

It all just kind of happened. I wanted an after -school job, but then an

indestructible superhero hired me to be his sidekick.

Now we blow bubbles and fight crime.

Feels good.

That thing detect muscles too, Schwoz?

I'm looking at Henry's arm and I'm not seeing any.

Nice.

Just broke my arm. Perfect time to start making fun of me. It was a joke. Relax.

Would you break your funny bone too?

Actually, he did. Look, the break is in his humorous bone.

Oh, yeah. Right there. Hey, what the heck, dude? What are you doing? Stop.

Stop. You literally broke me in the broken part of my bone right now. Can

stop? Did he stop? Okay, easy.

What are we doing? What's the plan?

The plan is you blow a bubble and fix your arm trouble.

See? I can do rhymes, too.

Big deal, he did a rhyme. I do them all the... every day.

Nice cast, Schwoz.

This problem is... solved.

Ow. This problem is not solved.

Why not?

Because, dude, if people see that I broke my arm, they'll know I'm Kid

So how are we going to hide this cast until my arm heals?

Easy. We break Henry's other arm. So we'll have two broken arms. And that

nobody will think he's Kid Danger.

This problem is... solved.

You're not breaking my arm, dude.

Okay, then Schwoz will do it. What? No.

I have a different plan. How?

Where was he? Right by that big jar of real legs.

Why do you have a jar of real legs?

Guy owed me 20 bucks. He paid me in legs.

And this is the biggest sweater I could find.

It was just in a drawer.

Not near any body parts. Thank God.

Okay. We give Henry one of these fake arms. Then we hide his cast with a

from when Ray really loved horses.

Oh, yeah.

They used to race them. They always beat me, though.

Okay, I've got a lot of arm options for you, but we have to find just the right

one. So, make our fashion show!

Hey!

Yeah. Great.

Seems good.

Man, I really thought that would take longer.

Me too.

But, you know. Sometimes first arm just feels right. First arm's always right.

So,

once again, this problem is solved.

Once again, the problem is not solved.

I mean, dude, this sweater and fake arm might work for, like, a day, but it's

not going to fool people for long.

Man, look at this thing.

Try tucking it into your pocket.

Or hook your thumb through your belt loop.

That's what I do whenever I want to look cool and tough.

Oh, yeah, yeah, just try this, Henry. Yeah, just go.

You look cool, man. You look cool, too. What's up?

Like that?

Yeah, I'm not doing that.

You're a loss.

Or... Tomorrow morning at school, we stage a fake accident where Henry can

pretend to break his fake arm in front of everyone.

Yes, and then I'll have an excuse for my broken arm and people won't think I'm

Kid Danger.

Exactly. Okay. And we do something simple, like Jasper accidentally closes

fake arm into his locker. Done.

Problem actually solved.

Perfect. I like it. Yawn.

Uh, what?

Oh,

I said yawn. Because that plan puts me to sleep.

Uh, I'm sorry?

I mean, it's boring.

It'll work. Probably great.

But where's the funny?

I'm not trying to be funny.

Uh, mission accomplished.

I got a better, funnier idea.

Let's hear it.

Still got that trebuchet?

We're doing the trebuchet.

What's a trebuchet? Where is he going? Jasper, will you please stop playing

my fake arm?

We'll handle it. You don't have to worry about anything.

That makes me worry about everything.

Me too.

All you gotta do is meet me and Schwoz at school tomorrow morning and we'll

trebuchet you a fake accident that's way funnier than Charlotte's.

Alright, whatever.

I'm tired. I'm going home.

Yeah.

I'm out like Jasper's belly button.

Way out.

Henry, don't let your parents see your cast when you get home.

I won't.

Because then they'll know that you're Kid Danger.

Yeah, I realize that.

And we'd have to write their memories again.

Yeah, I said I realize... Wait, again?

I don't know.

Hey, Jasper, catch.

What's this for? In case you pass some playground on your way home.

I am not the playground pooper!

Okay, dude.

I am keeping this because I think we're out at home.

Hi, Swellview Hospital.

No, I'm fine. I just wanted to know if any teenage boys have shown up there

tonight with broken arms.

No, I am not looking for kid danger. I am a real doctor. Arms are my specialty.

And I'm looking for work.

Hello?

Hello?

Oh, that guy hung up on me in the middle of my line. That is so rude.

Sorry, honey, I got my own problems with this pickle jar.

Hey, I'm home.

age, about your height, who has a broken arm?

I mean, I don't know.

This is a new sweater and it belongs to me.

What is wrong with you? Nothing, okay? I'm just, I'm tired.

All right, remember we're stretching?

All right, I'm going to bed. It's five o 'clock.

Already?

I am plum tuckered.

Can you open this pickle jar for me?

Why can't Dad do it?

He tried.

A lot.

And Piper called him a weakling, so he's in the kitchen lifting weights to prove

he's strong.

Well, maybe that'll make him stronger so he can finally open the pickle jar.

Again, plum tuckered. Good night.

Henry!

Mama hungry for pickles.

Okay, I guess I'm opening the pickle jar.

With my hands.

How else would you open a jar?

No other way. I've got to use my hands. Let's get this done.

Let me do this real quick. Why are you doing this? This is what people do. This

is how they open it now, okay? It's a better way.

It's a better way. I'm fine, okay? I'm totally fine. Why are you using your

hands in the pickle jar? The knee through the trick. You know how hard

you've been trying to do.

Use the pits. Use the pits. Oh, my God, it's a playground blooper.

Really? What?

I guess I dropped it. Sorry.

Technically, it is open, though, and also I'm really tired. I'm going to bed.

Hey, Henry, come give me a spot.

Uh, Dad, I'm really tired, so I'm going to go to bed. Henry, give your father a

spot. He asked you for a spot. You've got to give him a spot.

I guess I'm giving him a spot.

Probably won't need to, but if I can lift up this bar, it'll help me a little

bit. Got it.

Okay, I'm going to do ten.

Great.

Piper, watch me! Yeah, I'm watching.

boys for broken arms oh i know you're good get out of here

also maybe change that sweatshirt sometime cowboy

oh my god what are they doing

do this, dude. What's going on?

Okay, here's the plan.

You go stand by the stairs.

We fling a basketball at you. It hits you in your fake arm, and you pretend

it's broken.

It'll be a lot funnier than Charlotte's idea.

Okay, but what if the basketball doesn't... And break.

We are members of the Swear of Your Slingings Society.

For such, we don't fling many things with our...

Wait. Oh, it's you.

What are you doing?

Checking for broken arms to find Kid Danger.

You can go ahead.

You want to check my arm?

I'm looking for Kid Danger, not the playground pooper.

Hey, you guys, you guys, you guys, check it out, check it out.

Hey, pooper. What's pooping?

I know who the playground pooper is.

So do we. Yeah, it's you. No, it's not. I go in toilets. I've been pie trained

for four years.

Wait.

This is the playground pooper walking through some carnations. And I'm

to carnations, so it can't be me.

Those look like roses.

What?

Yeah, those are North American sugar roses, bro. I know my flowers.

He does. He went to flower camp. Yeah, dude, it was thick.

No!

Hear ye, hear ye. The flinging is about to commence.

Everyone should stand where they're supposed to stand.

Gotta go.

Everyone be it most careful for when your basketball be shot, it travel it so

fast it may it break someone's arm.

Stay right there, fancy pants.

Not you, LaRange.

What the heck is going on here?

We be the swell of your flinging society.

We are flingers. We fling.

Go do your flinging somewhere else. Else, these kids should be in classrooms

pretending to listen to their teachers.

Look, you want to fling a basketball at a wall?

Of course I do. Get out of my way.

Allow me to explain it. Relax, Leonardo.

I've used a trebuchet in a school before.

Okay.

Hey, Piper, I'm not doing that.

What is wrong with you?

You've got a broken arm.

Oh, my God. Henry Hart is Kid Danger.

So much better than my plan.

brother is gross so kid danger is gross but i love kid danger so i love my

brother why are you hiding your broken arm we have a right

to know okay

not get danger.

Prove it. I will prove it, Melvin.

As soon as I think of something.

Come with me to the janitor's closet.

I will be back with answers.

Until then, Melvin has the arm.

All right, take a look at the footage of the playground pooper again.

Dude, we were just messing with you. We know you're not the playground pooper.

All right, I know I'm not. But what if you are? I'm not. What if you are? But

I'm not. What if you are? But I'm not. What if you are? What are you talking

about? Just watch the footage.

Yeah, man, we've all seen the footage.

You've got a big problem on your hands.

I know that. Thank you. All right, guys, listen.

What if Henry was the playground pooper? That's impossible. It's you. No, it's

not.

Wasn't easy.

I have an idea that will solve all of Henry's problems.

Well, so do I. Clog it, Pooper. What do you got, Schwoz?

We set off a memory wave, and everyone within a three -block radius has no

memory of any of it or anything else in their lives.

I mean, maybe.

Yeah, but what's funny about it? Like, when am I going ha -ha?

Guys, I have a solution, and it's really funny.

Okay, there's been a lot of speculation today that Henry is Kid Danger.

He is. He's not, but he does have something he wants to announce.

I don't know if I can... Henry Hart, everyone!

Thank you.

I, uh... Oh, right.

My sister's podium.

Glad that's here.

And a microphone.

Thank you, LaRange.

And a sign language interpreter.

Great. Okay.

I know that there's a lot of speculation that due to my broken arm,

I am Kid Danger.

But the fact of the matter is, I'm not Kid Danger.

Because... I... Well...

I am the Playground Pooper.

Your kid Danger and the playground pooper? What? No, no, no, no. No, no,

no. No.

Just the playground pooper.

Okay, this is funny.

Prove it!

Prove it! Prove it!

Prove it! Prove it! Prove it! Prove it! Prove it! As you can see in the security

camera footage of me doing what I...

timestamp, which proves that at the exact same time that Kid Danger, whoever

is, was getting his arm broken by Dr. Karate, I was on the playground.

Yes,

Melvin, thank you. I was pooping.

So, obviously, I'm not Kid Danger.

Okay?

Please respect my privacy as I seek help during this difficult time. Thank you.

Wait!

How'd you break your arm, then?

Yes.

How did I break my arm?

Uh, after I did my thing, I slipped.

On poop?

Yes, Melvin, on poop.