Original subtitles

Xiaolin Showdown.

Xiaolin Showdown.

And now, my squad of evil warriors,

cheer-bots, attack!

Cheer-bots: Go, evil, go! Go, evil, go!

Go, evil, go! Go, evil, go!

Go, evil, go!

Uhh!

Aah!

Ha ha! I do love a good girl fight!

Can it, Spicer!

Uhh!

Huh?

Uhh!

These cheer-bots are most skilled warriors,

yet also refreshingly fragrant.

Cheer-bots: Go, evil, go!

Cheer-bots: Go, evil, go!

Go, evil, go!

Go, evil--

Orb of Tsunami!

Xiaolin warriors,

assume dragon x kumei formation!

Wind!

Ha!

Huh?

Greetings, Xiaolin warriors.

The old one with the extremely large head

looks most familiar.

Bro, that's you, but way old!

I am Omi from the distant future

here to warn you

that the world will soon be dominated by evil.

Yeah! Go evil! Whoo!

But fear not. There is a way

to prevent this disaster--

the key to the survival of the universe as we know it

lies in the future,

only you must find the Sands of Time

before the Sands of Time themselves run out.

Dude, does everyone in the future talk in riddles, too?

The Sands of Time is a very powerful Shen Gong Wu.

It not only allows one to travel through time,

but to alter time as well.

Remember, young dragons,

one's fate is never sealed

with the Sands of Time.

It can always be changed.

You guys, wouldn't it be a lot easier

if we just waited until the Sands of Time reveals itself?

No. We have no time to lose.

We cannot allow Jack Spicer to get it first.

The world depends on us.

Seems like we've been flying around for days.

I'm gettin' more tired

than a...

A one-legged man at a butt-kicking contest?

You kids need your rest.

Than fly around aimlessly

looking for the shen gong...

Wu...

Dojo, don't nod off on us now.

Huh? What?

Just 5 more minutes, mommy.

I don't want to go to school.

No. We cannot quit now.

Not until we find-- the Sands of Time!

There it is!

Unh!

Omi: Now let us find the Shen Gong Wu.

Jack, stop playing with your dolls!

I've just sensed that a shen gong wu has revealed itself.

Aah!

It's the Sands of Time!

Can't you see I'm busy?

Michelle has no arms and Dana lost her head.

She's my favorite.

Your girlfriends look like they could use a makeover.

Don't listen to her, christie.

She's just jealous.

Kimiko: We haven't looked down here yet.

Ok, it's gotta be around here somewhere.

Ooh, ooh! Shen Gong Wu!

And not a minute too soon!

Jet bootsu.

Time to bag this wu.

And mosey on back to the ranch.

Omi: What is this?

They must be pharaoh's army of evil.

Xiaolin warriors, prepare to make battle.

Leopard attack!

Hyah!

You must be very warm bundled up like that

when it's so hot out.

Hey, rags, you need a little attitude adjustment.

Tangle Web Comb.

Man, echoes: Stop!

Who are you people?

You've ruined my show.

Show? Who are you?

I am the director of the Sands of Time,

the longest-running show

in Egyptian dinner theater...

History.

I quit!

Waiting tables is better than this!

I can't believe it was a fake Shen Gong Wu.

Doink!

Breaking news, kids.

The real sands of time just lit up.

Buckle your seat belts.

It's gonna be a bumpy ride.

Oops! Eh...

This is embarrassing.

Sorry, guys,

but I'm too out of whack to fly.

I'm gonna need at least 10 hours to recharge.

This is most inconvenient.

We are losing valuable time on this slow jet plane!

Lazy lizard.

I heard that!

Clay: The Xiaolin temple. Dag nar!

We're right smack dab where we started.

Oh! That's where it was.

Rock garden, pyramid-- eh, I was close.

Ha ha ha ha!

Looking for this, Xiaolin losers?

Too bad!

You're out of luck and out of time!

Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

It was up to me to find the Sands of Time,

and I failed all of you--

my friends, Master Fung,

and the entire universe!

I believe that about covers it.

Now, with the Sands of Time,

I can put into action the greatest,

most evil plan of all time!

We're talking induction into the evil hall of fame here,

and recognition for world domination, Baby!

Do it!

Sands of Time!

See? Where am I exactly?

Whoops! Too far back!

Sands of Time!

Aaaaah!

Oww! Ow! Oww! Aah, aah!

Mr. Attila the hun,

how would you like to come work for me?

Fight, you scurvy knaves!

Or thar will be plank walking aplenty!

Ha ha ha ha ha! Huh?

Arrr!

Mr. blackbeard,

I'm Jack Spicer,

evil boy genius.

Big fan. Love your work.

Wuya, my disembodied partner,

I have assembled the evilest people

in the history of all mankind.

Meet Attila the hun,

blackbeard the pirate,

Billy the kid,

Mrs. cornhaven-- my first grade teacher.

Brilliant, Jack!

So, what's our next move?

With my dream team of evil,

nothing can stop me from collecting Shen Gong Wu.

Together we can achieve world domination!

We may have to work on our evil laughs.

Aaaah! Jackie!

Stand up straight when you speak and stop whining!

Mrs. cornhaven.

You're embarrassing me in front of my new friends.

Somebody needs a timeout!

We must get the Sands of Time.

There is no time to dally our dillies.

I think you mean dilly-dally.

That makes no sense.

We demand the sands of time at once!

If you please.

Ah, we'll get to that.

First, I'd like you to meet some special friends of mine.

You don't have friends.

"You don't have friends."

Associates. Whatever!

Evil drill team, attack!

Pardon me, old lady, but I--

old lady this! Haah!

Aaah--uhh!

I guess this would be the part

where I let out my new trademark evil laugh.

Bwah ha ha ha ha ha hah!

Not so fast, Spicer.

He who is last to be laughing

laughs most loudly.

What Omi did to that sentence

is what we're gonna do to you!

Warriors! Dragon x kumei formation!

Take that, pirate dude!

Now that's how we take care of business

kung-fu cowboy style.

You call yourself the best?!

You are a disgrace to evil everywhere.

Hey, guys, where's Jack?

You mean when is Jack?

Sands of Time!

Why do you look so different?

I took a year off for some down time

and came up with the greatest super genius evil plan ever.

Now I'm off to enlist the help

of the number one villain of them all.

Sands of Time!

Aaah! Jack? Don't do that.

Wuya, I want to introduce you

to the most evil super genius of them all--

me! From the future!

Huh? What?

Where's the bathroom?

With his knowledge of the future,

I'll know the locations of every Shen Gong Wu

before they reveal themselves!

Together, world domination is ours!

I tell ya, I sense the sweet baby among us,

somewhere right around...Here.

I don't know what to say.

Must have been a false alarm...

Or those chili peppers I ate last night.

I don't think so.

Well, I reckon we just got to the rodeo

after it closed.

I fail to understand.

How could Jack Spicer get here so fast?

Look down there!

It is old Jack Spicer!

Jack Spicer must have brought him back from the future.

No wonder they got here so fast.

He must know the location of every Shen Gong Wu.

It's like taking candy

from a bunch of babies!

Huh? Who's got the rabies?

Hurry up, old timer.

We've gotta get the Ruby of Ramses

before it reveals itself.

Change of plans, kids.

I guess we're going after the Ruby of Ramses.

Whoever possesses it

has the power to move objects at will.

I remember seeing it in the head of the pharaoh's statue.

We need to hightail it back to Egypt.

Have you returned to ruin my show again?

We are here to retrieve the Ruby of Ramses,

and to purchase 4 tickets, please.

Jack: Not so fast, baldy!

Judo flip, fire!

Typhoon boom, wind!

Seismic kick, earth!

Aah! Whoa!

Where are you going, Omi?

I am off to the future

to get the best weapon to fight evil ever--

Shroud of Shadows.

Omi: Ha ha! The Sands of Time.

Sands of Time!

Old Jack, meet old Omi.

Jacks, we omis challenge you

to a Xiaolin Showdown Tsunami.

I can't find my teeth.

Our budon sash

against your Monkey Staff.

Our midas flip coin against your Thorn of thunderbolt--

or thunderbolt, actually.

First group to make it to the top

of the pyramid maze wins!

Bring it on, baldies! Heh heh!

Let's go!

Xiaolin Showdown Tsunami!

All: Gong yi tampai!

Unhh!

Mmm.

Jack: Ha ha ha!

So long, Xiaolin losers!

Announcer: Level 2 attained.

Budon sash!

Announcer: Level 3 attained.

The Thorn of old thunderbolt!

Aaaaah! Aaaaah!

Unghh!

I've got 2 words for you.

Gym membership!

Whuh? Ahh.

I don't recall that name.

Jim membership?

He--he owes me 5 bucks, that guy.

Drive safe, Jackie. See you on Tuesday!

Your bones are old,

but your heart is strong.

You battle like a true Xiaolin warrior yourself.

Now, if you please,

I must...

Nap.

Old Omi: I must now return to the future,

where I will hide the Sands of Time,

never to be found again.

Good-bye.

It was most delightful getting to know you--

I mean, me.

Sands of Time!

Ooh!

I wonder where he's gonna hide

the Sands of Time?

I know where I would.

Ah, I am most impressed with myself.

I never would have thought to look there.

Ha!