Original subtitles

This programme contains very strong language from the outset and throughout.

She gave you everything. She left me nothing!

Is it for Lee? It says... No, wrong envelope.

We've got an audit on Friday, so I think I might need

to find a new job. Ball's in your court. Boss Bitch!

You are so gonna pay for this!

Do you ever feel like you're just the worst person in the world?

I know it was you. Of course it was you!Yeah.

He never said who Glen's real father was.

We're not gonna tell, Glen it would kill him.

KIRSTY:It was... Kirsty!

(GLASS SHATTERING)

That's right, twat! Pam.

Why the fuck would you do this? We're your...

LEE: When were you going to tell me?

You're looking rough, Lee!

Want a cup of tea?

# Shadows in my heart

# And sadly... #

Erm...

I think we need to talk. Yeah, I can't talk now, Kirst.

I've got a n audit at work so... Glen?

I told you, Lee's gone, he's not coming back.

So, if we just put this on hold... You can't let him go, Glen!

Well, why not? It was all Lee's fault, so...

Because he didn't kiss me. I kissed him.

Kirsty, where are ya?

(DOOR CLOSES) Right, get your stuff.

You're coming home with me. This is an intervention, love.

You and Glen have what is known in psychotherapist terms

as a toxic relationship. The treatment for it -

dump the cunt, pronto.

(WATER BOILING)

LEE: Ron?

RON:Your mum deserved better than him, Lee.

LEE: Why haven't you told Glen?

That he's your son? It's what Jackie wanted.

I'm uncle Ron to him. That's who I'll always be.

When she knew she was dying...

..she made me promise... She's dead, Ron!

It's a promise to a dead person.

Those are the most important promises.

I shouldn't have let it go so far.

I just asked Pam to send you a note.

Well, she did that.

Sadly, she wrapped it round a fucking brick.

Well, you know Pam. Always keen to go the extra mile.

This stays between us. Glen must never know that you're his dad.

(WATER TRICKLING)

Look, it didn't mean anything. Nothing!

We were just sitting in the car, and I don't know,

I don't know. I'd lost my job, and me and you were...

What cycle you been washing your knickers on, Kirst? They are minging!

We'll Febreze the fuck out of 'em! Kirsty, come on.

This what you want? I won't ask you again!

Get your arse in gear. OK, OK.

Kirsty, wait.

I mean, I love you... I love you!

Right, dickhead. We are off!

Come on, Kirst, I've got an Uber waiting and I'm not...

I'd like to find a way, Glen. If you would.Kirsty!

I think so, yeah. Sweetheart, get your arse in gear.

I won't ask you again! I'm staying.

Oh, right.

I thought this might happen.

So, I've come up with a little contingency plan.

Cos if you're turning your back on me, I'm calling in your debts.

What...? Carvery receipt, 133 pound, 79 pence.

Plus, the 30 quid that I gave to the clown that you lamped.

OK, Mum, yeah, fine, we'll cover it.

Oh, and obviously...

..the five grand that I leant you for the wedding.

What?! We don't have five grand! Well, Mum, that money was a gift.

I thought you might mention that.

"If gifted money is not used for the agreed purpose,

"it can be classed as a liability,

"repayment of which can be pursued in court."

You'd lose, surely!My solicitor doesn't seem to think so.

You've got a solicitor?

"Harold Okonkwo, Legal Advisor." Is that the same as a solicitor?

You wanna fucking find out?!

If I don't have my money by Monday morning,

you ain't never gonna see me again.

And that, my love, is a promise.

(DOOR SLAMS SHUT)

I mean, it sort of sounds like a win-win.

She don't mean it! Glen, I know her, she does mean it.

She does. I mean, she's family.

It's like you said, you know, family is all we've got.

Of course.And I can't lose her and you can't lose Lee!

Look, I'm gonna find the money, I'm gonna take it round to her.

How?I've got an idea, but first, you need to find Lee

before it's too late, please. You need to talk to him, Glen.

Kirst, I've got his audit! I, I might lose my job.

Glen, you need him.I don't need him, Kirst!Please, Glen!

IAN:Ahem...

I'm sorry to ask. Can you keep it down?

We had a bit of a late night.

The fuck?

So, what are you gonna do now?

She never forgave me, my mum.

For not being there at the end.

But we were close once.

When we were kids, she'd take us Canvey Island.

When I was about 14...

..I won this little lighter on the hook-a-ducks.

She said I couldn't have it, I was too young.

So, I gave it to her as a little present.

She didn't know I was on 20 a day, you know, I kept it from her.

And then, when I got older, I'd come home late

and I'd wanna sneaky fag in the garden.

That lighter would be there, perched on a step by the shed.

She knew.

And that was our little thing.

So, I'm gonna go and say goodbye to her.

Down at Canvey Island...

..and then I'm gonna fuck right off. For good!

Your brother, he deserves something out of this.

I know I promised it to Bunny, but I've decided...

..I'm gonna give him my share of the company when I retire.

Dirty, fucking two-faced...

(THROUGH WALL) ..cunt!

Pipes are playing up again

GLEN: Aysha! Aysha.

Ow! We have to delay this audit. You said we're fucked

and there's nothing we can do about it.

Yeah, well, I've changed my mind. I'm not going quietly.

We're not going quietly. Sometimes, you've gotta choose your future.

Haven't you? It's like Kirsty says, seize your destiny, you know.

And actually, actually, you've, you've, erm...

(HUMS) What are you doing?

(SINGING) # Something inside so strong! #

I'm just laying down a track for you, bro. Carry on!

Erm... So, you with me? (HUMMING) Yeah.

You got your game face on? Yeah!

You ready to push back and stop this audit!Nah!

What? Why not? Cos they're already here, mate.

(SINGS) # Something inside so strong, I...

(KEYBOARD CLACKING) Hi! I'm Glen.

You'll need the passwords to log into the system there, if you...

I give it to her when she arrived. Oh, great! Well done, Aysha.

Uh...

Those figures are actually very misleading. We... (LAUGHS)

We've actually been doing way better than they would, um, indicate.

All right, fine, um, look, look.

I just really need you to not do this, please.

Please, just don't do this audit.

(GUM POPS)

Yeah, fine. What?

(KEYBOARD CLACKS) (IN ARABIC)

Um, sorry, I'm a bit confused. What, uh...

Sorry, what's happening? What's going on? Hello?

Is she angry? Why is she angry?

What is she saying? Please!

She says we're done.Right.

Thank you, thank you very much... Oh, she's off.

Yes! Come back soon. Thank you.

What, is that...? Do you know her?

She's my cousin. What? Your cousin did the audit?

Duh! My family own the shop.

I keep trying to tell you, man. This place is dodgy as fuck!

Aysha, Aysha, I thought I was gonna lose my job.

I thought we were gonna get shut down. Why didn't you tell me?!

I can't be looking after you all the time, Glen.

I'm a busy bitch! I'm non-stop grinding!

And now, if you don't mind, I'm going brunch.

(PHONE DINGS)

# Don't need no man to give her satisfaction

# All she needs is a guitar playin' high

# She don't need no... # (CRACKING)

Fuck!

(RADIO PLAYING IN BACKGROUND)

Great spot, innit?

It's, um... What's the word?

Congenial. Don't you agree?

Well, erm...!

Yes, I do agree, yeah. Absolutely. Yeah.

Um, so, Mr El-Baz, you won't mind if I get straight to business?

Shh!

(BELL RINGS) Oh, OK! Right. What's...? OK.

So, you told me if I ever needed anything, I should get in touch.

Try the wine.

It's "Pinot Gree-jot".

You might not know it. Oh, I'm good, I'm good!

Thank you, thank you.

I'm glad you called Kirsty.

I'm happy to help.

But understand, there's a quid pro quo?

Five grand is a lot of money, Kirsty.

You need to understand something, Kirsty.

Up to this point, you've been involved with my family.

After this, you're gonna be committed.

You understand the difference between being involved

and committed? Yeah? Um... (STUTTERS)

Eggs, bacon.

The chicken is involved...

Mm-hm...but the pig, the poke, is committed

Right.You get it? Yeah. Yes, I think...

Yeah, I think I've heard that before, actually.

No, you haven't, I just thought of it.Yeah.

I'll leave my operations manager to fill in the details.

Oh, who's your operations manager?

What up, bitch!

Move over, then. Just stand, man! Do it from there.

Dionte, move over!

Do you want me to tell Dad you've been a dickhead on his job?

Yalla, move!Don't call me a dickhead in front of people.Yalla!

# Comin' down

# Comin' down

# Comin' down

# Yes, I'm comin' down! #

BUNNY:Hello, Lee.

Bunny? What the fuck are you doing here?

You know, Ron always promised to give me

his share of the company when he retired.

I know.

Except, he's not going to, is he? Oh, no!

He's going to give it to Glen.

Am I right or am I right?

What, have you bugged his phone of something?

I heard it while I was having a shite.

Mm. And what's that gotta do with me?

Let's take a walk, shall we?

So, what it is, yeah?

We need you to store several...

I wanna say pallets. Mm.Several pallets.

Obviously, your boss can't know about it.

So, what's in the pallets? That's irrelevant.

Five grand. You want it or not?

BUNNY:A business is like a garden.

It needs a gardener for it to thrive.

And in this particular garden, if you will, I am that gardener.

Are you with me?

Look, if I can't have Ron's share, I'm having yours. Simple as.

You're off your nut, my darling!

Oh, no, my darling. I am very much on my nut.

(CHUCKLES)

The business stays in my family.

Oh, your family? Your family, is it?

I mean, he's not exactly your real brother, is he?

Yeah.

You sign your share over to me, or I will spill the beans to Glen.

Think about it. When he finds out Uncle Ron

was ploughing your saintly mother all that time.

Glen's pain as I give him the news that will crush him forever.

The devastation stamped on his poor, helpless little fucking face!

You fucking...cunt!

Ah, ow!

(CHUCKLES) Fuck!

(BOTH GRUNTING)

Fucking...!When this is all over, I'm retiring to Finland

with a big pot of cash and no cunt is gonna stop me.

Finland?! (GRUNTS)

# Little man... (YELLS)

# When you stand by my side

# Then I know I don't have to hide from anyone...

(SLOT MACHINE RINGING) Agh!

(YELLS) # ..and I pray

# That we'll stay just that way

# Till the day comes along when we catch the sun...

I'm awfully sorry!

Not so fucking smart now, you prick!

# ..little girl, you're runnin' Come catch my hand, I'm near you...

Ugh!

# ..little girl, you're singin'... Get out the fucking way!

# ..come close to me, I hear you. #

You made a miscalculation, Bunny. Cos I've got nothing left now.

Nothing of me mum or me dad.

Nothing except the business, so why the fuck am I gonna abandon it

and give it to a filthy cunt like you?

Sit down!

(CHOKING) Glen!

I'll tell him, Lee.

Either give me your share of the company

or your gonna have to kill me!

(THUD) Oh!

GLEN:Nice here, innit?

LEE: Yeah, it was before they tarmacked over the beach.

Yeah.

Look, Lee, you don't have to leave.

All right? I know that...

..what happened, it wasn't you who started it.

That she kissed... Yeah.

Yeah, well, I'm gonna do whatever I can to make it up to you Glen.

You're my only family.

You're a better man than me. You always have been.

Family's all we've got, innit?

You're still my big brother.

So, stay?

Yeah, I'll stay.

See the funfair's still here? Yeah! Yeah, I saw that.

She loved the funfair. The Waltzer was her favourite.

I always puked up on the Waltzer. Yeah, I know.

It was me you puked up on.

Right! Well, do you want a lift back home, or...?

Nah, no, I'll drive.

Should probably get a windscreen first, though! (CHUCKLES)

Mm?

Oh!

Mum, she wanted you to have this.

What, you've had it all this time? Yeah.

Probably should have given it to you a bit sooner,

but with one thing and another...

Better late than never, hey? (CHUCKLES)

You should have gave this to me when she died.

Every time I looked at it, I would have thought of her.

And now, every time I look at it, I'm gonna think of you.

Aw!

Right. Well, see you back at home.

Oh, and Lee...

We'll work this out, in time.

(SEAGULLS SQUAWKING)

(WAVES CRASHING)

(KNOCKING)

You better have my money. Well, actually...

Yeah? Well, in that case, you can piss right off.

Sor... Ow!

Look, Sue, I don't have your money, but I think we can work this out.

Oh, can we? How generous!

Look, Sue, you're being unreasonable, and I want you to back off.

You're making Kirsty unhappy. Ha! Hark at the fucking pot.

Sue, listen to me. No! You, listen to me.

Hm? Cos I'll tell you the truth, son, yeah?

As long as there's breath in my fucking lungs...

Christ, Sue! Just be a mother for once in your fucking life!

(GULPS)

Hiya, love. Everything all right?

Oh, yeah! Fine. Absolutely, yeah.

I got us a takeaway. Oh, great! Is Lee back yet?

No. No, not yet. Um, Glen, guess what?

I got us the money! What?

Yeah, I got us all of it. I got five grand.

You, how? It's a business contact.

Just don't ask me! OK?

It's just, it's a deal that I managed to secure,

and let's just put it down to girlbossing!

You know, I need her in my life, Glen.

You know, family's everything. So...

Did you say you'd seen Lee? You just asked me that.Oh, yeah!

So, I didn't take the money round, cos I thought it'd be

really nice if we did it together. Yeah?

So, do you wanna go round tonight? No.Why?

Cos it's, uh...

(GULPS, CHOKES)

Promise you'll leave her alone?

(CHOKES)

Promise!

Fuck you, cunt!

(CLATTERING, GLASS SHATTERING)

(WHEEZING)

Agh!

(THUD, CRASHING, CAR ALARM BEEPING) Fuck!

# In the avenues and alleyways

# While you sleep, there's a whole world coming alive

# Abel and his brother fight with one another

# In and out of every dive

# The avenues and alleyways

# Where the strong and the quick alone can survive

# Look around the jungle, see the rough and tumble

# Listen to a squealer cry... #

Subtitles by Sky Access Services www.skyaccessibility.sky