Original subtitles

Good morning.

Morning, Hives.

Well, sir, today's the day.

Yes.

You know, Hives, this is the happiest day of my life.

Yes, indeed, yes, yes.

Pardon me, ladies and gentlemen.

I want to interrupt this program

for a very important news flash.

It is with pleasure that I announce

that Mr. Oliver Norvell Hardy is to be married today

at high noon to the only daughter

of that well-known oil magnate, Mr. Peter Cucumber.

The wedding is to be held at the bride's home,

and will be one of the highlights of the social season.

You may remember that Mr. Hardy started with this firm

as elevator boy, and with grim determination,

worked his way up to the top, and after the wedding today,

he becomes general manager of this vast organization.

It may also be interesting to know that Mr. Stan Laurel,

who has been a lifelong friend, advisor,

and severest critic who guided Mr. Hardy

to the pinnacle of success, is to be the best man.

Mr. Laurel says that after viewing the situation

from all sides, he's thoroughly reconciled to the fact

that the moving picture industry is still in its infancy.

Mr. Laurel also states that technocracy,

whilst it may appear to be the center of all--

Hives.

Yes, sir.

As soon as Mr. Laurel arrives, call a taxi.

Yes, sir.

And just a moment.

Get me some fresh toast.

Certainly.

Oh, good morning, sir, good morning.

Lovely morning for the wedding, isn't it, sir?

Mr. Laurel says.

Did you get everything?

Here are the railroad tickets.

And I got the ring.

Got the ring.

And, and the flowers, I ordered those,

and they'll be over there in time for the wedding.

Now why did you get two tickets to Chicago

when you know that I wanted

to spend my honeymoon in Saskatchewan?

Well, the man said there was no such place

as Susquesh, Sus, Susquash--

All right, all right.

Never mind.

What's that?

What?

That.

It's a surprise.

Well, what is it?

I don't want to tell you.

Give me--

What's that under your arm?

Your other arm.

This.

Oh, yeah.

It's a, it's a wedding present I bought for you.

Now isn't that thoughtful.

What is it?

Guess.

I haven't got time to guess.

Open it and show it to me.

Now why did you have to buy a thing like that?

Well, now that you're going to be married,

you won't be going out much at night,

and I thought it would be something for us to play with.

My playing days are over.

My time is too valuable to waste

on such childish falderdash.

Don't you realize that I am about

to become a big oil magnate?

You know what a magnate is, don't you?

Sure, a thing that eats cheese.

I beg your pardon, sir.

I ordered your taxi to be here right away.

Thank you, Hives.

Bring my baggage down.

Yes, sir.

Let's try it.

Put that thing away and let's get ready to go.

Oh, Hives. Yes.

Get my hat and gloves.

Yes, sir.

Your taxi's here, sir.

That's fine.

Tell him to get my baggage.

Yes, sir.

Come on, get your hat and gloves.

Come on, we haven't much time!

Come on, please!

Get out of my way!

Get those bags.

Come on, come on.

Go in and see what's happened to that driver.

Will you please come on?

Don't you understand I've got to get going?

Okay, fatty, I'll be with you in just a minute.

Now just a little more straight edge.

Hey.

Is that your cab out there?

Yeah.

Here's a ticket for you.

See who that is.

Hello?

This is Mr. Cucumber talking.

Where is Mr. Hardy?

I'll call him, sir.

Mr. Cucumber, sir.

Oh.

You talk to him.

Tell him I left 10 minutes ago.

Give me those, go ahead.

Hello?

Did you know you're holding up this wedding?

Keeping my daughter and guests waiting here half an hour?

Where is Mr. Hardy?

He's right here, and he told me to tell you

that we just left 10 minutes ago.

Doh!

Will you please come on?

I've got to get going.

Just a minute.

Officer, will you get him out of here?

I've got to get to my wedding!

Hey, you, why don't you go with the gentleman?

Get my baggage.

Come on, come on.

It's all your fault for bringing the jigsaw puzzle here

in the first place.

A big, healthy lug like you,

and you're wasting your time on a thing like

Are you sure you've got everything?

You sent the flowers, and you've got the rings.

Daddy, whatever could have happened to him?

Oh, my dear, dry those pretty eyes.

Remember, better late than never.

There he is now.

Pull yourself together, my dear.

What's the wreath for?

I don't know.

Mr. Laurel picked it out himself and told me

to bring it over here.

Haven't you any bit of sense

than bring a wreath to a wedding?

It's nothing to do with me.

Orders is orders.

Order my car.

I may have some use for this.

See who that is.

See who that is.

See who that is.

See who that is.

See who it is.

Come in!

Telegram for you , Mr. Hardy.

Oh.

See what that says.

There.

Now give me the piece that goes in there.

Whoa!

What are you trying to do,

make me out a bigger fool than I look, but I am?

Are you coming to this wedding or not?

Yes, sir, right away.

Well, let's go!

Wait a minute.

What are you trying to do, take a run-out powder?

Nobody's gonna leave here.

Why?

There's a piece missing out of that puzzle,

and nobody leaves this place 'til we find it.

What has that got to do with me?

You're going to be searched.

Well, you don't understand, sir!

That's Mr. Peter Cucumber, the big oil magnate!

I don't care if he's Mr. Dill Pickle.

He's going to be searched!

Now, come on, get over there in line.

Doh!

Get over there, come on.

Don't be trouble here.

Come on, you, get over there.

You too.

Oh, so you're getting tough, are you?

Fight in my country!

Come on!

Get away from me!

I'll run you in!

Oh!

Calling car 49.

Go to 6311 Old Fashioned Way.

It's a riot.

Go get 'em, boys.

And you, too, I won't stand it.

Ow!

Aren't you glad that I told you to hide?

Thank you.

I guess the wedding's off.

I'll be going.

Here's that telegram that came for you.

Hand me the phone.

Something important?

Yes, hand me the phone!

Sorry to interrupt this program again,

ladies and gentlemen.

Another news flash.

After a sensational rise today in the stock market,

the great international Horsecollar Corporation took

a tremendous crash and failed.

This will mean the loss of millions to its investors.

More good news later.

The Happy Hour program will now continue.

Don't worry.

Prosperity's just around the corner.

What do you mean, don't worry?

Get out of here!

I understand.

You want to be alone with your thoughts.

Get out of here!

Go on, get!