Original subtitles

(MOANS)

OK, sweethearts.

A good fake orgasm

That was fake?

And don't be afraid to get ugly.

This isn't porn.

(MOANS)

(MOANS)

Too much?

Fuck your daddy.

(PANTS)

(MOANS)

(MOANS)

OK.

(APPLAUSE)

There we go, guys.

That starts with being present.

(PANTS) Look at me.

Use your breath to guide your body.

(MOANS)

Be specific.

Where does it feel good?

Wait. Slower.

If they feel like

(MOANS)

..they'll be much more likely

(MOANS)

Something that wouldn't exist

Got it?

(MOANS)

(INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)

Hi.

Morning.

Hey.

Have fun, bud. Alright.

Hi, Mack.

Thank you.

See you tonight.

God. It's been ages.

Yeah. You gonna stick around?

I wish I could, but...

Oh, please don't leave me.

(CHUCKLES)

No. Go, go, go.

I mean,

with these whispering

Yeah. What has crawled up

Come on. You must have seen it.

You're famous. (CHUCKLES)

No.

Thank you.

Very Stevie Nicks!

No.

Yeah. (CHUCKLES)

Hey. Hey. Hey. Noam, bro.

Hook us up with a job

Oh, sorry. What was that?

Only if we get staff discount.

(LAUGHS)

Now, you are

which means, uh,

the best way to empower yourself

is to master

My tits.

Your income.

He's an accountant.

You absolutely

Clear them to the cops.

I've never heard of a brothel

It was 45 at Shadows.

Yeah. Maybe that's why it shut down.

It's re-opening, actually.

(GASPS) Does that mean

Whaaat? And abandon this free

Yes, speaking of which,

could we please

Thank you.

Now, what does it actually mean

Wow. (CHUCKLES)

Ladies,

of the Northern Times.

Mackenzie Leigh,

What the heck? Rescue.

Alright. Alright.

OK.

Well, we might wrap it up

but some great takeaways.

I still got four more points.

You can email them through.

Yeah. Good shot.

Alright.

There is nothing in the article

that works here at-at Sweethearts.

Oh, besides you?

Well, according to this,

I didn't say that.

A white one.

(CHEERS)

Look. OK. OK.

Look, uh, this actually

Well, it was actually.

But it's publicity.

But the article was supposed to be

No. No. It's good. It's great.

Great.

Exactly.

Um... (CLEARS THROAT)

"Powerhouse feminist

"has created a safe space for women

Yeah. It does sound

What?

(CROSSTALK)

Now, wait a minute.

Who wants to put some suggestions

Oh.

Um, can we please just get

Yeah. No-one likes chunky oats.

Excuse me.

There's something you should see.

Yeah. OK.

Looks like Christians.

What gave it away, David?

Reference to the Lord.

..I have sincere doubts that's

You should go.

They might think I'm a pervert.

Well, they might think

On your bike.

Shame on you.

Shame Shame.

I'm an accountant.

Yeah. Yeah.

Surprised you can ride a bike.

Fuck.

No-one can know I work here.

Until you sort this shit out,

What?

Uh, Excuse me. Uh, listen.

I don't know

but you are putting the-the social

of the women that work here at risk.

Yeah?

Sweethearts is a safe space

where women can provide

all people, actually.

Excuse me. Are you filming me?

Could you...

I'm on public property.

Absolutely.

Well, this is my right.

How's that feel? Huh? Huh?

Oh, Jesus Christ, Sharon.

Of course, you're part of this.

I suggest you, uh, you leave now.

Oh, flipping the bird.

How classy.

(CROSSTALK)

That's a great sign, actually.

No to brothels.

No to brothels.

Yeah.

Yes to community!

No to brothels!

Uh, to help disguise you.

No, no, no.

Maybe I meant floppy.

Well, no.

OK. OK.

I'll let Lolly know

(ON PHONE) OK, Noam,

I don't know where you are,

when is a good time to talk?

(SIGHS)

What do you reckon?

Not here! Not now! Not ever!

No.

Maybe wait a few hours,

Oi you guys,

Oh, my god!

(GASPS)

('CRUISIN'

Hey. Hi.

Hi.

Honoured to be welcomed.

Uh... are you looking for

Yes.

Yes. (CHUCKLES)

OK. Great.

Um, sorry about the craziness today.

They're usually

Brothel hot alert.

He's not brothel hot.

He's 'firetrucks himself

and you forgive him' hot.

Oh, boy.

Wait. What's brothel hot?

Hot for someone who pays for it.

And what's "firetrucks himself"?

So drunk he wets his pants.

He can wet my pants any day.

Mm-hm.

I wet someone's pants last week.

Oh, yay. He's got a lovely face.

I read your article,

Aw!

..on your commitment

because we're not

No.

And nor-nor should we be.

Shame and all that.

Yeah.

Wow.

Oh, god. You know what, uh...

(CLEARS THROAT)

The thing is we don't...

Right. I-I apologise.

I didn't manage to make a booking,

Would you bend the rules

Oh. See. If I bend, I...

Bend them, please.

Bend me over, daddy.

I got dibs.

You know what, just this once.

Oh.

Thank you.

What are you doing? Get out of here.

He's getting laid.

You should try it sometime.

What's happening?

She just went and snaked

We don't do walk ins,

The fuck?

I loved him.

Rules don't apply to the favourite,

Period.

(SIGHS)

You ready for this, babe?

Because I am gonna take you down

Everything OK?

What's your name?

Tui.

I have a massive penis, Tui.

How massive?

It's about

Well, I am a professional.

May I?

Come on, buddy.

Let's take...

Oh, fuck me!

That's huge.

That's what they all say,

Amazing.

I saw the article this morning

I just thought,

"Just give it one more try, mate."

Are you a virgin?

Oh, well, I mean,

the definition of sex, then...

I mean, I guess... ah...

Yeah, I-I have knocked at the door,

but have not entered.

But you're so...

I know.

I'm incredibly good looking.

Well, it's just a waste, really.

OK. OK.

OK. (CHUCKLES)

Lie down.

It's OK.

Lie down.

This is my job. OK?

I will find a way to help you.

Get it back out.

(CHANTING) WHORES GO HOME!

As you can see,

They don't want this type of

Oh, no.

The blooming Newshub guy's

It's getting worse, Mack.

If the media turn on us,

Have you heard from Ham Handy Hands?

He's late.

Oh, sorry, Jaz. Yes. He's cancelled.

It's because of this

It's given everyone the willies.

Fuck's sake.

Look, these guys are pros,

and they haven't got

I don't think

Why aren't you out there kicking

Look, I mean, just I don't think

to come across as...

What? Boss? Leader?

Saviour.

His penis.

His penis, what?

His penis is so big.

If he stood up with a hard on,

I-I couldn't.

Fuck.

I failed.

Who's up next then?

No.

So...

Yeah, Makes sense that you tell us

Oh, for fuck's sake.

Alright. Go for it.

I'll give it a hoon.

Oh, Jaz.

Jules, it is not my first time

(EXHALES)

Wish me luck, gals.

(CROSSTALK)

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Homemades.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I think you've got one?

Is that my Jasmine?

Oh. Jassy!?

What are you doing here?

Nanny Mavis.

I've come to join the protest.

Really?

You should have told me

'cause I would have picked you up,

Oh, crap.

Is Jas her real name?

That's an interesting outfit, dear.

Oh, yes.

Well, it's...you need to keep warm,

Yeah.

Oh, Sharon.

She's a racy dresser.

She does my nails.

(CHUCKLES)

You get warmed up.

Yes. It's cold. Yeah, yes.

Jules.

Go get them

That's gonna

Oh, just...

..for a whole month!

Oh.

(CHANTS OVERLAP)

Hi, everyone.

Uh, Natalie.

Robin.

Jeff. Hi.

Yeah. Look.

I know you lot love

Yeah. Well, that's why we're here,

(CROSSTALK)

But you're buckling up

Look, Sweethearts is a good place.

Some of the women here

(SHOCKED MURMURS)

And that's their prerogative.

Am I right, Trish?

What are you asking me for?

Yeah. Why are you asking Trish?

Well, look. Here's another one.

Get out of here.

(CROSSTALK)

No. Oh, no. No!

Don't go! No!

(MESSAGE POPS)

Tada!

Well, I failed with my pitch

but I got your biccies.

Excuse me.

Where's the Mint Slice?

Mint?

Four packets of Tim Tams.

I'm the favourite. I'm the best one.

No. We don't have favourites.

Where's Amethyst?

She's still with

What, is he still here?

Bonkers.

The world's gone bonkers.

A moral divide is splintering

On the one side, Mackenzie Leigh,

the bold, brash

American and her brothel...

And releasing.

Oh, my god.

On the other, these folk...

I run the day-care centre next door,

and I'm just here to protect

the tamariki of the community.

What exactly is it about

Well, me and my husband

haven't had intercourse

for 15 years.

Yep. Oh. Ah.

He's a hard dog

I'm a little bit worried, you know,

that it might destroy my marriage.

Nah.

You wanna try?

Have you thought

for your husband?

Putting out what?

She tapped out.

Mavis.

And what's brought you here today?

Obviously, the protest?

Oh, oh, and such a lovely day.

Did you ever consider that perhaps

by bringing all this attention

you might be bringing it

to the attention

who may otherwise not have noticed?

I'm sorry.

Go in grace.

They're disrupting my business.

I don't know. You're the cops.

You tell me if it's illegal.

Thank you.

There's no point being here.

Come on, let's call it a day.

So, it's true.

You're a pimp.

I can't believe

the whole time.

Noam!

I think things got

Might as well stay.

Wait, Noam.

I thought they were hot maids.

Look. I'm sorry about the article.

Article?

Mum, it's all over my socials.

What?

You are so embarrassing.

Can we just talk about this?

No. Thanks, mum. I'm good.

We can go for ice cream. Just...

Just go home!

(CROWD CHANTS)

Harry!

I need your help.

(CHANTING)

This is why we need sex workers.

For poor, unfortunate people

and the civilians

I don't believe that.

He doesn't look

What's she doing?

Jumping up and down

OK. OK.

Well, I'm prepared to, uh,

Don't-don't do that. Don't do that.

(GASPS)

Harry has a very real affliction.

His immense physiology

from finding a sexual partner.

It's been so hard...

to never have been accepted

Mm-hm.

We're not perfect,

but there is a place in society

where shame can be banished

and loneliness can be treated

Yeah.

It'd be nice to know

what it feels like

and Sweethearts at least

It's OK.

And, you know...

at the end of the day,

we're just trying our best

but that doesn't change

From now on, the Sweethearts

will cover their lingerie

and make extra efforts

Well, yeah. I guess that's a start.

I mean, I'm not a fan

but, yeah, I guess

That is progress, yeah...

Well, do you think

so that we can get back to doing

which is helping people.

Yeah. OK. OK, guys. Yeah.

Let's wrap it up.

(CROSSTALK)

Hold on, honey.

I've gotcha. Here you go.

Sounds like

Let's take a walk over here,

(CROSSTALK)

Does anyone know

I'll pray for you.

Nope.

Can-can I still come for dinner

Nope.

I'm playing bridge with the girls

Make it Friday.

(MOANS)

Oh, no. She's fine.

She does Pilates.

Yeah. Don't worry about her.

(MOANS)

(LIVELY MUSIC)

(BIRD CHIRPS)

Turns out

He was more than happy

And he left a huge tip.

Drinks on me, bitches.

(CHEERS)

What about you?

You can thank me for saving the day.

Uh, I-I can't.

Alright. Suit yourself.

Hey, so, shall I just flush these

No. Leave them for the pigeons.

You coming?

Oh. I was born to come.

Hey.

What, is this a bribe or an apology?

Listen, that article

I'm sorry

And did dad know?

Is that why he's not here?

(SIGHS)

you will realise

But you gotta trust me.

I am making the right decisions

Did you read the article?

Any questions about, you know...

..how the girls are empowered?

Like, how we...

Mum, no, I don't have any questions.

OK. Great. That's good.

Ta.

Good night, Noam.

I'm still mad, though.

(SIGHS)

(WHISTLES)